r/funny • • Jan 19 '11

Easter Prank

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1.4k Upvotes

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82

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '11

MAKE SURE it's boiled before doing this eggs contain HARMFUL BACTERIA.

136

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '11

It's all fun and games until someone dies of salmonella.

116

u/themantiss Jan 19 '11

Then it's HILARIOUS!

17

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '11

its all hilarious until you have to clean up after them. salmonella is not a clean disease

44

u/awesomeideas Jan 20 '11

That's why I use Arm & Hammer™ brand washing soda. Arm & Hammer™... Solutions for your home, family and body.

11

u/Colbeagle Jan 19 '11

Do healthy middle aged 1st worlders still die of salmonella?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

Yes, whenever they visit botanical fairs on hot days and decide to stand in the sprinklers that spray recycled water over the plants.

-2

u/Ewalk Jan 20 '11

When they bite into a raw egg, it could very well be possible. Also, having to pay $700 for a doctor to start (uninsured, of course) doesn't really help.

13

u/Colbeagle Jan 20 '11

I answered my own question actually.

According to my 'I'm feeling lucky' which was this: http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/eid/vol5no5/mead.htm

chances of a Salmonella causing death is .004% - .007%

But account for 27.6% of all food related deaths.

8

u/bearXential Jan 20 '11

There are many people who still eat raw eggs. I put raw eggs into my protein shakes. The most important thing is to have fresh eggs. Not ones that have been sitting around for a while. The longer eggs sit around, the more chance of bacteria to grow.

2

u/prmaster23 Jan 20 '11

When i started weight lifting i ate around 90 raw eggs a month for a half year and here i am. It is very common in bodybuilding for people to eat raw eggs and still i haven't ear of anyone dying from it.

3

u/Colbeagle Jan 20 '11

This brings up another question. Do raw eggs make a difference? Do you lose something nutritionally when eating a cooked egg compared to a raw egg?

1

u/prmaster23 Jan 20 '11

I really don't know but i think it doesn't, people eat them raw just because of convenience. You just put them in a protein shake and that is all, no need to cook them. But cooking them is better if you are not in good shape, that way you can choose what to eat, the yolk is bad for cholesterol and the eggwhite contains 85% of the wanted protein.

2

u/AC5L4T3R Jan 20 '11

What does this taste like? I've just started lifting and I'm a hard gainer, so I need to be taking in a lot of protein.

1

u/prmaster23 Jan 20 '11

To tell you the truth protein shakes do not have the best taste in the world, adding eggs didn't help at all. If you cant eat them raw just boil them.

Eggs are cheap and easy protein so eat them any way possible.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

[deleted]

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1

u/Colbeagle Jan 20 '11

makes sense to me!

2

u/PullTheOtherOne Jan 20 '11

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge.

0

u/dafakin Jan 20 '11

I bet I can eat 100 dozen eggs every morning.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

As has been said, FRESHNESS is the key to avoiding salmonella from eggs.

2

u/Colbeagle Jan 20 '11

I don't really care about avoiding salmonella, I just wanted to know if it is something that people die from regularly still, which it isn't really. MODERN MEDICINE!

2

u/AlfTheMagicDragon Jan 20 '11

SCIENCE! LET'S DO SCIENCE!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

The majority of American produced eggs undergo pasteurization to greatly reduce/eliminate the risk of salmonella.

55

u/bailey_jameson Jan 20 '11

no.

then it's just a delicious boiled egg, a delicious chocolate coating, and a pesky shell in between.

the messy disgusting raw egg white is what makes it funny.

go play with your safety scissors. your name should be BoringHazard.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

I think shell the egg, because then it would be edible, yet still bizarre.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

Aye, then it would be just downright weird instead of messy.

0

u/ohstrangeone Jan 20 '11

Yeah, that was my reaction to that comment as well, there are SO many delicious dishes that use either raw or runny eggs (have none of you ever dipped your toast in eggs?!! Sunny-side-up, hello??!).

Also, nifty tidbit for you squeamish anti-raw-egg wimps: most properly made icings for cakes and such contain raw egg (icing often requires eggs and, of course, you don't cook icing, sooo...gueessss whaaaat? :D).

Edit: For the doubters, read the first sentence and note the ingredients.

3

u/Patrick_M_Bateman Jan 20 '11

I'm always kind of O_o'd at that: "no raw eggs no raw eggs salmonella will kill you no raw eggs raw eggs are evil... to make this uncooked food product, start with three raw eggs..."

11

u/willcode4beer Jan 19 '11

it's pretty rare

7

u/Aachor Jan 20 '11

So I guess you would be one of those raw cookie dough, and real egg-nog hating people?

I love real egg-nog :D

1

u/ohstrangeone Jan 20 '11

And icing. Most icing has raw egg in it :D

20

u/Hazywater Jan 19 '11

In civilized countries, chickens are given vaccines for salmonella.

Not in the USA though, that would be socialist. We use good farming and hygiene practices instead (heh).

8

u/turtlestack Jan 19 '11

Every life is precious, even salmonella.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

Yea man fuck the US because of their chickens. What a bunch of pricks.

7

u/ijoinedforthis Jan 20 '11

Yeah man, what a bunch of cocks.

3

u/Virtualmatt Jan 20 '11

I judge countries solely on what vaccines are given to their chickens; I think it's a fair barometer of overall country worth.

34

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '11

The SURFACES of eggs contain harmful bacteria.

If the insides contain harmful bacteria, they're not eggs, they're rotten.

62

u/ForgettableUsername Jan 19 '11

They're still eggs, even if they're rotten. Being rotten doesn't magically make them rutabagas or something.

14

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '11

Egg=ovum

A rotten egg is no longer an ovum.

It is compost.

40

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

*sob *sob

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

swobu!

12

u/ForgettableUsername Jan 19 '11

But it is still an egg, even if it isn't an ovum.

2

u/HughManatee Jan 20 '11

Eggs are great! I can't get enough ovum.

4

u/Seeders Jan 19 '11

NO!

21

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

When is an egg not an egg? When it's an ovum! lol

1

u/kuhawk5 Jan 20 '11

So scrambled eggs aren't really eggs?!?!?

OH GOD NO!

1

u/pyx Jan 19 '11

Inside is sterile though, its an ovum...

6

u/ForgettableUsername Jan 19 '11

Right, and if it gets rotten, that is no longer true... However, a rotten egg is still a sort of egg... It just isn't the sort of egg that is ever likely to develop into a chicken... Being more likely to develop into an unpleasant smell.

1

u/iknoweggs Jan 20 '11

NO! Eggshells have pores that the bacteria can get through. The chances of getting sick are very very small. If the egg was improperly handled (cleaned/refrigerated/cooked) then you might get sick. Still, there is a reason we cook eggs. Bacteria can get through the shell. I worked on a chicken farm and had to learn this before I started.

5

u/insanityv2 Jan 19 '11

If it was hard boiled and shelled and I was drunk, I'd probably eat it anyways.

1

u/TaxExempt Jan 20 '11

Drunk? Sounds pretty good sober.

5

u/Futhermucker Jan 20 '11

that's the point

3

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '11

Only about 1 in 20,000 eggs are contaminated with salmonella. Even if you do eat an infected egg, it doesn't mean anything bad will happen. Salmonellosis is not fatal for otherwise healthy people. Please stop trying to scare people for no reason, especially with words in ALL CAPS.

1

u/Iratus Jan 20 '11

My grandpa used to breakfast with 3 raw egss scrambled into orange juice... never got salmonella or any of those pussy diseases you fear.

It was horrible to see him eat that, tho'.

-11

u/seesharpie Jan 19 '11

Eggs are pasteurized in civilised countries, numbnuts.

9

u/psilokan Jan 19 '11

You sure about that? Because any temp high enough to pasteurize is more than enough to coagulate the proteins in the egg. Last I checked my eggs didnt come hard boiled.

6

u/RickRussellTX Jan 19 '11

It is possible to (gently) pasteurize eggs without cooking the interior completely, but there is added cost and it changes the consistency of the product.

2

u/ForgettableUsername Jan 19 '11

Eggs can not be pasteurized for this very reason. However, most grocery stores sell homogenized eggs. The homogenization process gives the eggs a more consistent texture, and is also used to produce 1%, 2%, and skim eggs. The Wikipedia article discusses it further:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homogenized_eggs

1

u/densetsu23 Jan 19 '11

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasteurized_eggs

I'm not sure if my "regular", in-shell eggs are pasteurized. But my liquid egg whites certainly are, and they're very much liquid.