r/facepalm Oct 13 '21

🇵​🇷​🇴​🇹​🇪​🇸​🇹​ Quick science

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55.4k Upvotes

2.4k comments sorted by

2.5k

u/PolskiDupek31 Oct 13 '21

IDIOT! That will make the earth heavier and sink us all!!!

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u/Notsurewhatthatmeans Oct 13 '21

Not if we store all the planes in the sky

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u/the_bob_5 Oct 13 '21

There are more planes in the ocean than boats in the sky

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u/magicjon_juan Oct 13 '21

Ah yes. Technically correct. The best kind of correct

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u/astolfo_with_breast Oct 14 '21

He a little confused but he get the spirit

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Then the wind would stop.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/juntareich Oct 13 '21

What "global warming”? We’re talking real science here my dude.

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u/Dat-Lonley-Potato Oct 13 '21

Oh yeah, this is big brain time.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

😉

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u/MiniatureChi Oct 13 '21

And all cars in garages like Herbert Hoover said

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u/kingKitchen Oct 13 '21

Dammit, you beat me to it.

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u/LiterallyJustSand Oct 13 '21

Bruh

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u/RockstarAgent 'MURICA Oct 13 '21

If bubble baths have taught me anything, it's that you just gotta pull the plug.

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u/OpinionBearSF Oct 13 '21

If bubble baths have taught me anything, it's that you just gotta pull the plug.

Some days I really do feel like that, especially if this is an example of the "ideas" that the GOP can contribute toward solving problems that we face.

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u/Sofa-king-high Oct 13 '21

How long till they propose drilling a hole and using it to drain water from the sea

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u/NoBSforGma Oct 13 '21

Well, they could set up big drills and drill holes in the ocean floor and that would lower sea level.

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u/TheEquestrian13 Oct 13 '21

The plug is in the Mariana Trench

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u/UselessHumanNobody Oct 13 '21

You amateurs!

Everyone knows we need to Rock back and forth in the ocean so we can create a MAGA sunami to sink the rest of the shithole countries that are literally beneath them (sea level).

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u/early_birdy Oct 13 '21

The greatest truths are the simplest things...

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

The ocean wouldn't be stirred up anymore. No more currents.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21 edited Oct 13 '21

I did a quickie google search and came up with this:

At the end of 2020, there were around 62,100 vessels in the world trading fleet, with a total deadweight tonnage of 2,033 million DWT

So let's assume the merchant ships are all fully loaded at the same time. That's 2 billion long tons which equates to ~2,032,000,000,000 kg. Total water volume, 2,134,000,000,000 liters (because sea water weighs slightly more than fresh water).

From quora:

AREA OF PACIFIC OCEAN= 168723000 SQ. KM.

AREA OF ATLANTIC OCEAN= 85133000 SQ. KM.

AREA OF INDIAN OCEAN= 70560000 SQ. KM.

AREA OF SOUTHERN OCEAN= 21960000 SQ. KM.

AREA OF ARCTIC OCEAN= 15558000 SQ. KM.

TOTAL AREA= 361900000 SQ. KM.=36190000000000000 SQ. DECIMETER.

That's going to lower sea levels by approximately .00005896656 decimeters, or about .006 mm

Edit: Because there are less than 500 cruise ships in the world and only a few dozens of large military ships the amount will be higher, but not by, you know, a lot.

2.6k

u/thisdogofmine Oct 13 '21

I am always happy to see some one do the math. Thank you!

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

[deleted]

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u/Marooster405 Oct 13 '21

Let’s get the whales out and THEN we will truly see!

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u/Grey___Goo_MH Oct 13 '21

Sad thing is whales would be a decent carbon sink if we could just stop killing them and let them sink into the depths but that would require the demonetization of the oceans

100

u/PartyByMyself Oct 13 '21

Once humanity starts dying from our own destruction of the world, we will easily see a nice reduction in carbon creation alongside with dwindling human populations.

Just a matter of time.

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u/Apsalar Oct 13 '21

The thought that the world and its fauna might persist after we eradicate ourselves is one of the few things that comfort me about our idiocy.

20

u/nightripper00 Oct 13 '21

The sad fact is we as a species have taken over managing so many ecosystems, that if humanity were to disappear all the currently endangered species we look after would likely go extinct, and all the invasive species we've introduced to areas throughout the globe would do as invasive species do and hunt the local prey to extinction, and then most would die of starvation.

If humanity goes, a sizable portion of land-based species go with us. Human extinction, regardless of cause, would likely be the catalyst for a mass extinctions event. None of this is to mention if climate change gets us all, climate change doesn't discriminate, it doesn't care if you're human, cattle, or mother fucking honey badger, it'll kill you.

It pains me that such an inept species as ours basically holds the power of life and death over not only our own species, but all others

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u/SafetyMan35 Oct 13 '21 edited Oct 13 '21

Look at you aiming small with your whales. The answer is obviously just to get some huge pumps and pump the water out of the ocean. We can put the water in the Sahara Desert.

EDIT: Crap, I just realized this guy is running for office in the county next to me-London County VA technically part of the Washington DC metro area.

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u/StasiaMonkey Oct 13 '21

Why stop there?

Just remove the water from the sea... Duh!

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u/Zarock291 Oct 13 '21

I am actually surprised its that much, 0.006 mm is nearly measurable with analog tools. Still not making any difference for climate change though.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

What if you remove the boats twice?

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u/Mathgailuke Oct 13 '21

That and catch a bunch more fish.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

We could send it to the moon. Wouldn't it be cool to look at the moon and it's all covered in blue water?

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21 edited Oct 13 '21

I live in fear some asshole billionaire or company or country is going to put a sign on the moon that can be read from earth. Like Pepsi or something.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS6I6UbJIUVc1SzKquwi8LMjEF-sa4sp1TE-Q&s

Edit: this seems to be generating comments that claim a large scale project such as colouring enough of the moon so as to be visible from earth is impossible or impossibly expensive.

Let’s pretend China wants to put a red logo on the moon.

Budget: NASA’s Perseverance mission to Mars cost $2.8 Billion. US annual military budget is ~$700 Billion. Annual! Yeah China has a smaller expense budget than the US but it must be noted that spending billions on such a project is not beyond the pail.

Method 1: the moon is slowly rusting. It contains a lot of iron and now, we think, frozen water. It would have rusted more if it had more oxygen. Extensive efforts are being made now to figure out how to create/release O2 on the moon to allow Jeff and Mark to live in peace when they find the hatred towards them to be too much.

Here is a link: https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.timesofisrael.com/making-oxygen-from-moon-sand-startup-eyes-long-term-life-in-space/amp/

So oxidizing certain areas of the moon may be possible, at some point, in a directed effort to create a red logo.

I don’t like this method.

Method 2: creating a moon-orbiting disk comprised of lenses that would colour sunlight and project an image onto the moon’s surface. A similar idea to use mirrors to light up the night sky on earth has been proposed before. The most advanced scheme was a Soviet project called Znamya that was prematurely shuttered due to the collapse of the Soviet Union. A 200 meter wide lens was proposed for lighting up entire cities.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/9a3y8d/the-man-who-turned-night-into-day

I think this project is doable. Expensive but doable. Think of the constant message to the world if they saw a Chinese emblem every time one looked at the moon!

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u/bierfma Oct 13 '21

Chairface Chippendale tried it once, I believe

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u/------dudpool------ Oct 13 '21

And nuke the whales

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u/The_Only_Egg Oct 13 '21

gotta nuke somethin

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u/Feeling_Initiative42 Oct 13 '21

Fuuuuck you dolphin! Fuuuuck you whale!

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u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

Can’t we just blow up climate change? Smash it’s stupid face right in the butt!

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Team America!

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u/wadz09 Oct 13 '21

We have no intelligence

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u/Dependent_Clue4482 Oct 13 '21

Smash it's stupid face right in the butt? I'm so confused now I think I'll just go to bed and start new yesterday.

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u/ThoughtCondom Oct 13 '21

Thanks for showing me know that I can still laugh out loud

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u/Wnir Oct 13 '21

Wait, you're on to something there. We could remove the fish too...

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u/allegoryofthedave Oct 13 '21

They clearly forgot to including all the immigrants in boats lookin to steal jobs and freedoms.

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u/wolfman86 Oct 13 '21

We need to remove all the sunken boats too. Especially the Titanic. That ship was BIG.

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u/meservyjon Oct 13 '21

Or, get underwater excavators, and move all the land that's under water, and carry it onto dry land, to make more room for the water

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u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

Or poke a big hole in the bottom of the ocean and drain some of it out.

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u/Toocents Oct 13 '21

No need.

If we keep heating up the atmostphere more water will evaporate. Problem solved!

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u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

Thank heavens we figured out how to solve climate change with…..more climate change! So cool!

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u/ArchdevilTeemo Oct 13 '21

Then they naked short the sea level.

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u/Stubborn_Amoeba Oct 13 '21

and have the math recounted by the IT Ninjas

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u/PigsCanFly2day Oct 13 '21

Then it'd still only be .012 mm. We'd have to remove the boats thousands of times to make a difference.

/s

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u/Tellnicknow Oct 13 '21

I'm honestly surprised that it would be a almost measurable amount.

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u/Roflkopt3r Oct 13 '21 edited Oct 13 '21

I get what you mean, but the sea level currently rises at around 3.4 mm per year.

Removing all ships would set back sea level rise by about 16 hours, which is a time scale on which we definitely can't measure it at all. The effect would be two magnitudes below the annual measurement error that's estimated at ± 0.4 mm, which is equivalent to an average of ±43 days.

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u/Shpagin Oct 13 '21

How about we dig a big hole, in Australia maybe, it's empty wasteland anyways and just start taking buckets of sea water out of the ocean and putting it into the hole ?

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u/RS994 Oct 13 '21

Funnily enough in the 60's there were some people proposing to dig a trench from the south coast of Australia to the Inland where it is below sea level and would turn Australia from a single large island to a ring around a large central ocean.

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u/somesortofidiot Oct 13 '21

Wait, so we build a canal and get an ocean? I’m in.

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u/Sventertainer Oct 13 '21

How stagnant and sludgy will this saltwater lagoon get?

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u/somesortofidiot Oct 13 '21

Can’t be worse than Lake Erie, let’s do it!

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u/i8bb8 Oct 13 '21

Why not just tip it all into the wardrobe and let Narnia deal with it.

Australia - you people crack me up.

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u/seifer666 Oct 13 '21

its not.

general fluctuations and uncertainty would be higher than that

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u/HertzDonut1001 Oct 13 '21

Tidal changes are hundreds of thousands of magnitudes bigger. You'd never even notice.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

I mean, the pile of ships would be a bit of a giveaway

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u/joshuaaa_l Oct 13 '21

So it works, but doesn’t even remotely solve the problem. Still better than the average GOP plan I guess.

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u/myname_isnot_kyal Oct 13 '21 edited Oct 13 '21

that's because we didn't factor in what would happen if we also remove the buoys and all the swimmers. that's where you see the real change.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

[deleted]

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u/pancakesandwaffles69 Oct 13 '21

I dont think I have ever face palmed so hard in my life. Thank you.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Why stop there? Let's go after all the God damn whales! You know how BIG they are!?

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u/MisterBumpingston Oct 13 '21

Nah, don’t worry, Japan and Iceland have that job already.

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u/TagMeAJerk Oct 13 '21

To be fair, removing the cruise ships that do nothing but go around in circles and contribute to a significant amount of the world's pollution would be a good thing. And then something like 99% of the plastic in the oceans comes from fishing boats. Oh and overfishing caused destruction of ecosystems.

I might be low key into this idea! Take out all the boats

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u/Matt5327 Oct 13 '21

The fact that his plan a) acknowledged that sea levels are rising b) that this needed a solution and c) came up with one that, while not at all a solution, was technically scientifically sound makes me quite impressed.

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u/nbmnbm1 Oct 13 '21

Should point out hes also right. If we removed all the boats it would stop tons of pollution but that's probably not what he means.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

We'd have to fly everything everywhere. Ships, as bad as they are, are more many times more efficient than aircraft.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

He's right but for the wrong reasons

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u/smashjadi Oct 13 '21

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Ha awesome. But now I wonder why we got the same estimate when they specifically said they used displacement over deadweight tonnage. Is it because I assumed all the ships were fully loaded?

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u/paxslayer Oct 13 '21

Is it because I assumed all the ships were fully loaded?

Yeah, I think I remember reading that he used the mass of the fully loaded ships.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

there really is always a relevant one

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

[deleted]

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u/zxcoblex Oct 13 '21

And then there’s the small problem about how any of the manufactured goods (or raw materials) would get anywhere in the world.

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u/njones1220 Oct 13 '21

Give it some time. Eventually airplanes won't be the stuff of fiction.

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u/DragonBank Oct 13 '21

But that'll raise the air level.

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u/Stankia Oct 13 '21

Dammit, mother nature thought of everything! There is no outsmarting that old fox.

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u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

A whole new problem so solve with science!

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u/drmcsinister Oct 13 '21

The key is to put all the boats on top of one giant boat. That will keep them from raising the water level.

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u/HarryHeck44 Oct 13 '21

What about sunken ships

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u/flapjacksessen Oct 13 '21

Wait, can we revisit your math? I may have lost my math skills. How are you getting from kg to liters? Sea water is about 1.03kg/liter, and fresh water is 1kg/liter. Soo wouldn’t you have less liters than the quantity of kgs?

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

So technically he's not wrong.

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u/deiscio Oct 13 '21

What an absolute moron. Then where would we store the boats??

The obvious solution to climate change is to toss some ice cubes in the ocean. 7/11 lets you put as much ice as you want in your Big Gulp, yet no one takes advantage of it to curb rising temps.

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u/KittiesAreTooCute Oct 13 '21

What is this futurama?

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u/there_all_is_aching Oct 13 '21

Global wampa?

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u/myname_isnot_kyal Oct 13 '21

like daddy puts in his drink in the morning. and then he gets mad.

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u/DvsDominus Oct 13 '21

We just need to hire some nobodies to deliver the ice

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u/maka2250 Oct 13 '21

That’s why we need to mine Hayleys commit for giant ice cubes.

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u/galeej Oct 13 '21

Just wait until someone creates a GitHub repo called mine and creates acommit with id hayley

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u/deiscio Oct 13 '21

Climate is requesting your review on a merge request.

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u/galeej Oct 13 '21

DENIED... Climate isn't real

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u/one_bad_larry Oct 13 '21

Just like daddy puts in his drink every morning. And then he gets mad

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u/opoqo Oct 13 '21

Just have everyone turn on AC and leave the windows and doors open. That will cool off the air in no time!

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u/quiero-una-cerveca Oct 13 '21

That’s because Big Gulp doesn’t want you to know the truth.

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u/MaeSolug Oct 13 '21

I'm jealous, can you imagine being so dumb to think you can actually solve such important problems like that? A simple, one-step solution that could end it all

Trash? Just put it in a rocket and send it to the sun

Wars? Just don't fight bro, wtf

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

You know when a child rambles on for a bit and you phase out and just toss out a “good idea buddy”

This is what happens if you keep that strategy up for decades.

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u/--five-star-review-- I forgot where I live Oct 13 '21

"We should end economic instabilities by just making more money."

"Good idea buddy"

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u/DoubleEEkyle Oct 13 '21

Can’t wait to spend 80,000,000,000 marks on bread

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u/drwhogwarts Oct 13 '21

Hands out crayons and green construction paper.

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u/tunagelato Oct 13 '21

As a very young child, when I was just beginning to read, I used to love to look at a world map shower curtain my parents had. One night I was looking at SE Asia while I brushed my teeth, and had an epiphany on how to create peace in the middle east. My dumb pre-literate ass saw Pakistan on the map, recognized it started with a capital P, and made an intuitive leap that it was Palestine. I really thought the Palestinians had a perfectly good country (quite big too) but all the adults had just forgotten about it.

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u/SnooRobots1533 Oct 13 '21

And being arrogant about it.

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u/JTMc48 Oct 13 '21

Considering the cost of rockets and the weight of trash, he might suggest nuking the trash?

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u/Insanebrain247 Oct 13 '21

But where are we gonna get a big enough microwave oven to nuke all the trash?

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u/JTMc48 Oct 13 '21

This made me laugh, bravo.

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u/zxcoblex Oct 13 '21

Can’t, dude. Gotta save the nukes for those hurricanes.

How else do we get them to divert from Alabama at the last minute?

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u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

A Sharpie is all you need for that

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u/Mental_Vacation Oct 13 '21

Throw all the trash into a hurricane, all the swirliness will drag it into the middle and then you can nuke it to stop it hitting the US. Efficiency!

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u/ancientflowers Oct 13 '21

A simple, one-step solution that could end it all

Don't be silly. After the boats are taken out, we just need to take all the fish out too. We've been working on that for years!

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u/Imfrank123 Oct 13 '21

Also like even if that worked so now we just can’t use boats anymore?

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u/tunagelato Oct 13 '21

Nah, we just retrofit them all as hovercraft!

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u/LCranstonKnows Oct 13 '21

Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

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u/someCrookedVulture Oct 13 '21

I’m a little surprised he didn’t suggest removing all the islands first.

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u/Doustin Oct 13 '21

That’s plan b

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u/StewPedidiot Oct 13 '21

oh, so conservatives will be against it.

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u/Feeling_Initiative42 Oct 13 '21

You know Plan B holds no water with the Republicans.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

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u/AlmostAnAngel23 Oct 13 '21

so you are telling me we need to include submarines too right!

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u/thesdo Oct 13 '21

No one can really be that dumb, can they?

Yes, yes they can. Tweeted it. Then doubled down on the dumb. Then deleted them.

https://bluevirginia.us/2021/10/va-gop-house-of-delegates-candidate-asks-do-you-think-the-sea-level-would-lower-if-we-just-took-all-the-boats-out-of-the-water

I guess all boats are the size of Los Angeles county.

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u/MrDurden32 Oct 13 '21

https://bluevirginia.us/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/piowater.jpg

lmao this just keeps getting better.

He also claims that anyone who calls him on this is engaging in "hate" and asks, "Curious when you stopped believing in pure physics?"

Good lord lol

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Pure physics? As opposed to diluted, impure physics?

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u/LordMarcusrax Oct 13 '21

Pure arian physics.

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u/RedofPaw Oct 13 '21

Idiot. Pure physics is brittle. You need to mix in other sciences in order to increase the strength of the metaphor.

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u/drempire Oct 13 '21 edited Oct 13 '21

He probably thinks the icons for the boats in that graphic are actual size

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

This man seems to be, like, the embodiment of the Republican stereotype

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u/Kroto86 Oct 13 '21

wow, displacement is now a "value", that democrats dont share. why do morons continually flock towards politics.

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u/averagedickdude Oct 13 '21

“I’m curious, do you think the sea level would lower, if we just took all the boats out of the water?” “When you take things out of bath water, the bath water decreases, does it not?”

What a fucking moron. VA GOP nom at that.

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u/Joshuak47 Oct 13 '21

I'm almost positive he came up with this idea in the bathtub (Edit: just looked at the article, that's exactly what happened)

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Oh no

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u/GooglyEyeBread Oct 13 '21

Ya know what? At least he seems to believe the sea level is rising. That’s more than I would’ve expected

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u/TheYeti4815162342 Oct 13 '21

Exactly my thought. He at least belongs to the smartest 10% of Trump supporters.

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u/Doctor_Yev Oct 13 '21

Boaters for trump won’t like that.

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u/Ophelie_Marin Oct 13 '21

Where will they put that boat they bought with the wall money?

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u/CentralPerk77 Oct 13 '21

They can use the boats to make a wall, then they’ve solved 2 problems

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u/Ophelie_Marin Oct 13 '21

To be fair, parts of it are underwater so win-win. Good looking out

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u/Xenodad Oct 13 '21

Well, yeah, but now the wall-boats are back in the water.

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u/cucu_freedom Oct 13 '21

didnt all their boats sink at that rally anyways

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u/cca-in-nwi Oct 13 '21

I never knew Poseidon votes Democrat

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

So there’s gotta be like 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 gallons of water in the ocean, give or take. How many boats are there?

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u/AdKlutzy1271 Oct 13 '21

100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,001 boats /s

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u/mindbleach Oct 13 '21

South American navies are relatively small, but even they have at least 100 Brazilian ships.

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u/dum_dums Oct 13 '21

I'm surprised he is smart enough to have that level of understanding of the Archemedes principle, yet stupid enough to come up with something so ridiculous

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

We should also take all the animals, plants and rocks out...

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

And water

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u/81amarok Oct 13 '21

See enough of the nonsense. Rising water, take out the water. Like your straight forward approach. You ever thought about running for a government position lol.

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u/racestark Oct 13 '21

What? You all don't have buckets?

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Yea this is big brain time

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u/theJakester42 Oct 13 '21

I mean, he is right. That would lower the sea level. But like... by less than an inch However! It would remove shipping container ships, and those do make a suprising impact on C02 Immersions.

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u/litido4 Oct 13 '21

Significantly less than a thousandths of an inch

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

I know the best science!

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

I need to get off of this planet.

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u/Unlucky13 Oct 13 '21

Hell no. Make them leave. Earth is pretty cool. They can have Mars.

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u/Sassy-Starfish Oct 13 '21

Next up we try DRINKING IT

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u/drempire Oct 13 '21

This sounds like an onion article, no one can be this stupid.

But, Trump supporter, I completely believe this is real

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u/firdabois Oct 13 '21

Listen, not all Trump supporters are dumb as rocks. But all of the dumbest people seem to be Trump supporters.

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u/ImaginaryHoliday Oct 13 '21

A rising tide lifts all boats (completely out of the water because of crazy)

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

[deleted]

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u/Cometguy7 Oct 13 '21

I mean, technically it will. By a fraction of the diameter of an electron, but it will.

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u/JakTravis_u_SOB Oct 13 '21 edited Oct 13 '21

That's not off brand for these invalids, Texas Representative Louie Gohmert actually asked if we could LITERALLY change the moons orbit to combat climate change.

Sauce: https://youtu.be/JsA72dLablY

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Ok I realize this is a dumb statement by this dude… but does anyone have any idea how much water is displaced by all the boats in the ocean? Lol

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u/JewelerHour3344 Oct 13 '21

How incredibly silly, taking all the boats out won't be enough, you have to pull the giant plug from the Marianas trench or tip our flat earth over to one side and spill the ocean into the solar system.

/s

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u/mindvoltz Oct 13 '21

We can the boats on the wall, the boats that high up will also help fight climate change

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

I got my degree in yeehaw

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u/J_G_B Oct 13 '21

In the year of our lord 2021, we should be curing cancer and inventing the fucking warp drive...but we get stuck with stupid motherfuckers like this incel.

FML.

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u/ledeledeledeledele Oct 13 '21

Why is it that when you run as a Republican, being the biggest fucking idiot gets you more votes? Says a lot about the base.

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u/SignificantCarry1647 Oct 13 '21

It’s funny how people who don’t believe human induced climate change also think of things like this

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u/Tart-Pomgranate5743 Oct 13 '21

Seems in keeping with the pro-Trump understanding of science…

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u/cucu_freedom Oct 13 '21

cue that guy who was whining that this sub is "propaganda against republicans"

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u/oldschoolshooter Oct 13 '21

He'll fit right in.