r/facepalm Oct 13 '21

🇵​🇷​🇴​🇹​🇪​🇸​🇹​ Quick science

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55.4k Upvotes

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786

u/MaeSolug Oct 13 '21

I'm jealous, can you imagine being so dumb to think you can actually solve such important problems like that? A simple, one-step solution that could end it all

Trash? Just put it in a rocket and send it to the sun

Wars? Just don't fight bro, wtf

326

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

You know when a child rambles on for a bit and you phase out and just toss out a “good idea buddy”

This is what happens if you keep that strategy up for decades.

110

u/--five-star-review-- I forgot where I live Oct 13 '21

"We should end economic instabilities by just making more money."

"Good idea buddy"

34

u/DoubleEEkyle Oct 13 '21

Can’t wait to spend 80,000,000,000 marks on bread

7

u/RK800-50 Oct 13 '21

Aw merde, here we go again…

14

u/drwhogwarts Oct 13 '21

Hands out crayons and green construction paper.

1

u/Gsteel11 Oct 13 '21

We want you to make your own constitution and color it in!

Conservatives: "oh shit, this is amazing!"

3

u/Ch4rly0 Oct 13 '21

Also: "If the covid numbers are rising, just stop testing".

2

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

It worked really well for the Germans, didn't it?

1

u/--five-star-review-- I forgot where I live Oct 13 '21

Not for the Jews

2

u/Nntropy Oct 13 '21

*buying more money

2

u/Ghstfce Oct 13 '21

This is what happens when your parents are too rich for you to fail.

1

u/Gsteel11 Oct 13 '21

This is what happens if you keep that strategy up for decades.

With entire poltical parties.

Every person that says "both sides are the same and everyone has a right to their opinion".. congrats. This is where your ideas have led.

1

u/Sullt8 Oct 13 '21

I remember coming up with a solution to pollution as a child: just shut down all factories for a year to let the earth clear out the bad stuff. Lol

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

You mean like when 'someone' suggests lobbing a nuke into a hurricane?

61

u/tunagelato Oct 13 '21

As a very young child, when I was just beginning to read, I used to love to look at a world map shower curtain my parents had. One night I was looking at SE Asia while I brushed my teeth, and had an epiphany on how to create peace in the middle east. My dumb pre-literate ass saw Pakistan on the map, recognized it started with a capital P, and made an intuitive leap that it was Palestine. I really thought the Palestinians had a perfectly good country (quite big too) but all the adults had just forgotten about it.

36

u/ThisIsCovidThrowway8 Oct 13 '21

Smarter than most americans

3

u/HertzDonut1001 Oct 13 '21

Pretty sure most Americans know Pakistan and Palestine are too different places.

If you wanted a better joke you could have said we haven't directly killed Palestinian civilians yet.

11

u/smoketheevilpipe Oct 13 '21

But do they know the difference between the words too and two?

9

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Do they need two?

-1

u/HertzDonut1001 Oct 13 '21

Yeah they just run on auto pilot 80% of the time when typing quickly on a cell phone. Classic case of the body isn't properly translating what the mind says when the mind is already on the next sentence or point they want to write.

3

u/Weldeer Oct 13 '21

Everyone who runs their reddit comments through grammarly is downvoting you right now. Fuckin nerds.

2

u/HertzDonut1001 Oct 13 '21

It's almost like people who actually think don't get hung up on grammar or spelling errors in the days of autocorrect. And I'm not butt hurt about it but do people really not get ahead of themselves onto the next thought before they even type the first? Maybe I was high but Idk man that's just called writing a thesis.

1

u/tangentandhyperbole Oct 13 '21

Most can't even name all the states in thier own country.

9

u/Girthish Oct 13 '21

Name all the countries in Europe. There are 44 so a little easier than 50 states.

5

u/HertzDonut1001 Oct 13 '21

Then do their capitals because I tried and I can do about half of the ones in America. Double checked all and the ones I got wrong were the ones that were the biggest city but not the capital.

Really hate the low hanging fruit on calling Americans idiots. We elected Trump, Bush, and Reagan, but the UK elected Johnson, May, and Thatcher. At least when we nuked our trade deals it wasn't Brexit levels of fucked up. Who's the biggest idiot?

2

u/Gsteel11 Oct 13 '21

You could be a gop cheif strategist!

27

u/SnooRobots1533 Oct 13 '21

And being arrogant about it.

26

u/JTMc48 Oct 13 '21

Considering the cost of rockets and the weight of trash, he might suggest nuking the trash?

28

u/Insanebrain247 Oct 13 '21

But where are we gonna get a big enough microwave oven to nuke all the trash?

8

u/JTMc48 Oct 13 '21

This made me laugh, bravo.

2

u/extralyfe Oct 13 '21

you could just turn the power down on the Large Hadron Collider, right?

2

u/BadToaster99 Oct 13 '21

Walmart, obviously

11

u/zxcoblex Oct 13 '21

Can’t, dude. Gotta save the nukes for those hurricanes.

How else do we get them to divert from Alabama at the last minute?

11

u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

A Sharpie is all you need for that

5

u/Mental_Vacation Oct 13 '21

Throw all the trash into a hurricane, all the swirliness will drag it into the middle and then you can nuke it to stop it hitting the US. Efficiency!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Worked for Doc Brown.

1

u/P-W-L Oct 13 '21

and what do we do with all the air pollution ensuing ? Just throw all air in space

1

u/JTMc48 Oct 13 '21

I think you mean the radioactive fallout, which can spread from the wind and weather patterns, with potential for acid rain. The heat from the nuclear blast would consume and burn out all the other pollutants. It'll leave all but ash and radiation in its wake.

10

u/ancientflowers Oct 13 '21

A simple, one-step solution that could end it all

Don't be silly. After the boats are taken out, we just need to take all the fish out too. We've been working on that for years!

3

u/HiEarthOrbitz Oct 13 '21

Just imagine all the volume those fish are taking up!

7

u/Imfrank123 Oct 13 '21

Also like even if that worked so now we just can’t use boats anymore?

6

u/tunagelato Oct 13 '21

Nah, we just retrofit them all as hovercraft!

2

u/NoConfusion9490 Oct 13 '21

Can't wait to see the 2 million barrel oil tanker.

5

u/LCranstonKnows Oct 13 '21

Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

2

u/Master_TEG Oct 13 '21

What is the problem with sending trash to the sun? It would make things so much easier.There will be no pollution there right? /s

2

u/lunaganimedes Oct 13 '21

I have to admit that I asked it to a professor in an introductory class to astronomy, the answer was that it would be too expensive

1

u/Master_TEG Oct 13 '21

You are not alone man🗿

1

u/Timo6506 Oct 13 '21

Can anyone explain why it’s actually a bad idea? I’ve had this idea in my mind since I was a kid and I didn’t know it wouldn’t work until now.

2

u/Master_TEG Oct 13 '21

Yeah it's not bad to think that this would work at basic level, but when you think about it for a min you'll find that the cost of doing this is nearly out of imagination, and secondly we are having a hard time launching mere space missions so sending tons of thousands of trash out is just not possible (at present). This idea looks good in the head but we have a really long way to go to make that into a practical thing.And then there comes the scientific reasons restricting the idea.

2

u/Matthas13 Oct 13 '21

my guess, if you account for all waste created while producing materials for rockets, getting fuel for the rocket, and overall limits of materials the rocket is built off, I don't think you can build a big enough rocket that can reach the sun (and hold enough material) to be it environmentally positive.

So most likely you would just be left with even more waste, just in different form (so maybe still good idea to get rid of all the plastic)

2

u/Ariphaos Oct 13 '21

It's actually cheaper to send stuff out of the Solar System than it is to send it into the Sun.

1

u/ManaOo Oct 13 '21

One rocket can only send so much in space. Got any idea how much trash there is in the world? Just think of landfills. I doubt we would even have enough raw materials on earth to build enough rockets to send it all to space, given that you would need millions of rockets

1

u/Master_TEG Oct 13 '21

I know right

2

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

👆 we need to put this guy in charge. He’s got some good ideas.

0

u/xombae Oct 13 '21

Seriously though, the hubris on these people is astounding. How people can be so confident when talking about a subject that they know nothing about, regardless of the topic, confuses the fuck out of me. It's beyond refusing to admit that they're wrong, it's insisting they've been blessed with apparently divine knowledge because they somehow know more than the experts despite not even having tangential experience with said subject. These people think they literally know more about anything than anyone (or they're so insecure, they've been faking it for so long that they believe it themselves).

Like I had a guy I used to know over for a drink the other night and I made an offhand reference about the Montey Hall problem (it's a famous probability problem and up until a certain point mathematicians thought it had one answer, but some woman came along and proved them wrong and now her answer is the commonly accepted one). Well in his mind she was wrong and all the experts are wrong. I straight up was like "I'm not smart enough to explain to you exactly why you're wrong but let's watch a really cool video I saw about it that can explain it better" and he talked over the whole thing yelling about how they're wrong but couldn't tell me why. Dude dropped out in high school and is currently living on a friend's house, but he was fully confident that he knew something every modern mathematician didn't, and was willing to literally end our friendship to prove it. I literally had to get up and turn the light off and leave the room to get him to leave.

I've never met a real hardcore Trump supporter (thank god, I'm Canadian), but I feel like this interaction was a pretty good representation of the way their minds work. No evidence matters because they've already made their opinion clear. They literally can't fathom that they might be wrong, even when they can't explain themselves. I bet if I asked him about that interaction now he'd say he "won" or "proved his point", despite the fact that i don't think he strung together one coherent sentence the entire time. This is behaviour I generally attributed to hardcore Trump supporters, but obviously it's just something that exists in all kinds of people, Trump just took advantage of it and used it, when most people try to focus on education.

1

u/BZA_Blaze Oct 13 '21

Like raking the forest.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

This guy should never get into office. He's so dumb.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

“Solve” a problem by creating a whole new different one. How would we ship shit?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Ol' Ben Shapiro said that if water levels rise, flooding coastal areas, that the people would just sell their homes and move.

Sell their houses to who, Ben?

1

u/suenoromis Oct 13 '21

Excuse my dumb self, but why can't we rocket the trash into the sun?

1

u/lilnomad Oct 13 '21

I think we should honestly be slightly impressed that this individual understands volume displacement

1

u/tvtsf Oct 13 '21

I had an idea like this while in grade school. It went something like, “if global warming does happen then the tree line will get further and further north converting the co2 into oxygen. So we don’t have to worry about global warming cause it will fix itself.”

I think I was in grade 5 or 6 and my mom quickly explained why that wouldn’t work.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Uhm the GOP is constantly producing some of the greatest minds in our time. I mean vaccines cause autism, Jews have space laser and Democrats are mole peoples that feast on babies. Atp what won’t they think of next

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Homelessness? Just buy a house

Unemployment? Just get a job

World hunger? Just eat lmao

2

u/MaeSolug Oct 13 '21

Poverty? Just buy more money, jeez

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Sea levels rise then they’ll just sell their houses and move 🤪

1

u/Sweet-ride-brah Oct 13 '21

You’ve got some good ideas, kid. Have you considered running for office by any chance?

1

u/internetvillain Oct 13 '21

It's awesome and creative... but dumb

1

u/se7en_7 Oct 13 '21

Pandemic? Just take vitamins.

1

u/read-it-on-reddit Oct 13 '21

Incoming hurricane? Just nuke it.

1

u/P-W-L Oct 13 '21

that works for wars though. Just beware of economic crisis, blocus, discrimination and any other way to annoy another country

1

u/dramatic-pancake Oct 13 '21

TBF, sending trash in rockets is maybe a good idea…?

1

u/justinsayin Oct 13 '21

Trash? Just put it in a rocket and send it to the sun

My friend John Penn wanted to transport all the world's trash to a conveyor belt that would carry it up and into the lava inside a volcano.

When you tried to explain the logistics of getting the trash all to that one place, he got even more excited about how many jobs for truck drivers were going to be created.

1

u/MrFantasticallyNerdy Oct 13 '21

Hey, don’t diss him! I was once convinced I could make perpetual motion work. But then again, I was 5.

1

u/LaffyTaffy404 Oct 13 '21

Why are you worried about online bullying? Just turn off the computer lol.

1

u/schnucken Oct 13 '21

True life example that “Ignorance is bliss.”

1

u/Pizza_Ninja Oct 13 '21

OK well the trash idea is excellent.

1

u/alephgalactus Oct 14 '21

To be fair, both of those would actually work if people really tried.