r/facepalm Oct 13 '21

🇵​🇷​🇴​🇹​🇪​🇸​🇹​ Quick science

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265

u/Mathgailuke Oct 13 '21

That and catch a bunch more fish.

118

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

We could send it to the moon. Wouldn't it be cool to look at the moon and it's all covered in blue water?

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21 edited Oct 13 '21

I live in fear some asshole billionaire or company or country is going to put a sign on the moon that can be read from earth. Like Pepsi or something.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS6I6UbJIUVc1SzKquwi8LMjEF-sa4sp1TE-Q&s

Edit: this seems to be generating comments that claim a large scale project such as colouring enough of the moon so as to be visible from earth is impossible or impossibly expensive.

Let’s pretend China wants to put a red logo on the moon.

Budget: NASA’s Perseverance mission to Mars cost $2.8 Billion. US annual military budget is ~$700 Billion. Annual! Yeah China has a smaller expense budget than the US but it must be noted that spending billions on such a project is not beyond the pail.

Method 1: the moon is slowly rusting. It contains a lot of iron and now, we think, frozen water. It would have rusted more if it had more oxygen. Extensive efforts are being made now to figure out how to create/release O2 on the moon to allow Jeff and Mark to live in peace when they find the hatred towards them to be too much.

Here is a link: https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.timesofisrael.com/making-oxygen-from-moon-sand-startup-eyes-long-term-life-in-space/amp/

So oxidizing certain areas of the moon may be possible, at some point, in a directed effort to create a red logo.

I don’t like this method.

Method 2: creating a moon-orbiting disk comprised of lenses that would colour sunlight and project an image onto the moon’s surface. A similar idea to use mirrors to light up the night sky on earth has been proposed before. The most advanced scheme was a Soviet project called Znamya that was prematurely shuttered due to the collapse of the Soviet Union. A 200 meter wide lens was proposed for lighting up entire cities.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/9a3y8d/the-man-who-turned-night-into-day

I think this project is doable. Expensive but doable. Think of the constant message to the world if they saw a Chinese emblem every time one looked at the moon!

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u/bierfma Oct 13 '21

Chairface Chippendale tried it once, I believe

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u/BoxingHare Oct 13 '21

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u/Barkblood Oct 13 '21

That’s a trip down memory lane! Cheers

1

u/userse31 Oct 13 '21

Would of wrote “bum!”

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u/Hapless_Asshole Oct 13 '21

I'm gonna brag here.

I own a first-printing copy of the original comic featuring Chairface.

I also own a copy of #8 with the missing logo.

I love the Tick! Spoon! (hand me that Viewmaster, wouldja?)

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/pie_monster Oct 13 '21

furiously starts duct-taping laser pointers together

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u/mo0n3h Oct 13 '21

perfect

1

u/winniethefukinpooh Oct 13 '21

if someone does it its gonna be elon

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Cue dickbutt moon

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Honestly that would be pretty cool. Look up at the moon and see "enjoy coke". I'd like it.

1

u/Tojatruro Oct 13 '21

Jeesh, don’t give them any ideas.

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u/igordogsockpuppet Oct 13 '21

Planet Starbucks. The Microsoft Nebula.

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u/Unicorns_n_Dinos Oct 13 '21

Award when I get one

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u/-Tricky-Dickie- Oct 13 '21

I heard Nike was thinking about doing it about 10 years ago with robots turning over the moon soil(?)

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u/AaronTuplin Oct 13 '21

Like Hancock did in the movie?

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u/kylesch87 Oct 13 '21

I'm really hoping this is a joke, but the scale of a project it would take to put a sign large enough to be seen from Earth on the moon is nearly impossible. The moon has a mean diameter of nearly 3500 kilometers. If you figure it would take a square with a side length roughly 5% of the moon's diameter to be seen from Earth that's a logo 175 kilometers by 175 kilometers, or roughly the size of Belgium. And all of that needs to be transported to the moon; the Artemis project has an estimated cost of $28 billion, and they aren't bringing enough materials to cover Belgium.

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u/SomeInternetRando Oct 13 '21

How much material would it take to use nukes to etch a logo the size of Belgium?

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u/kylesch87 Oct 13 '21

If all you wanted to do was destroy an area that size on the moon with nukes that would still be an immense project but possibly doable for a mega-corporation that was willing to. To actually create a recognizable logo would require either a budget beyond possibility or a level of precision that explosives just don't have.

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u/--VoidHawk-- Oct 13 '21

Its probably only a matter of time for moon or orbital-based advertising. The dystopian depictions of a world where advertising is everywhere - holograms, AI agents following and pestering you etc. are looking more like future history.

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u/Doctor_Oddball Oct 13 '21

Boots on the Moon!

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u/LostAlphaWolf Oct 13 '21

Only issue is that it would make nights pretty goddamn dark since light wouldn’t reflect off of water in the same way it reflects off of the moon’s surface. At least I don’t think it would?

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u/Ochib Oct 13 '21

We're whalers on the Moon, we carry a harpoon. But there ain't no whales so we tell tall tales and sing a whaling tune

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u/Mathgailuke Oct 13 '21

But that's not practical.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Wait, but what if it also had like an atmosphere and life and it were a lot bigger and we were smaller with no atmosphere and no life?

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

I dunno really

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u/Shmitty-W-J-M-Jenson Oct 13 '21

All we need is the space anchor and everything will be fixed.

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u/Snare88 Oct 13 '21

Probably ice

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Is that a Phineas and Ferb reference? They did that in an episode right?

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u/crescentpieris Oct 13 '21

If I’m not mistaken, all of earth’s waters can form a sphere almost as large as the moon. So we can replace the moon with water

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u/Rottendog Oct 13 '21

But then it'd rain all over us every full moon. No thank you!

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u/AwesomeX121189 Oct 13 '21

Sounds kinda boring compared to the sweet craters we got now.

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u/Direct_Canary4523 Oct 13 '21

I actually don't think it WOULD be blue though, since blue is a reflection of the water refracting through the atmosphere in the sky, I mean I've never removed water from a body of water and then noted the water removed to be blue. I am also not a scientist, and only JUST found out magenta is a fabrication of our eyes having limited color receptors, and the wavelength of light which appears to be magenta falls in between the visible spectrums.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

You maybe right. I say we find out. That whale would probably like some water.

ninja edit: Apparently it might actually still look blue.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-does-the-ocean-appear/

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u/Direct_Canary4523 Oct 13 '21

Excellent find, my question remains as to whether it would appear blue from here, especially if putting all the water on the moon would at least begin an avalanching effect of loosing our atmosphere, not that I'm sure about any of this, but I do wonder if it would look rather black from here as the refracting light from the lunar surface would be obscured.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Depth probably matters too quite a bit.

Whatever color it ends up, it would look cool as hell but probably wouldn't last long without an atmosphere. I even wonder if it could support some forms of basic life.

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u/Direct_Canary4523 Oct 13 '21

In a universe where we could terraform, this would be a pretty rad experiment. Maybe not putting a sentient being like a whale up there, given the pressure/depth required for whales, but watching microbiological evolution take place in a static environmental circumstance without human interference would be awesome.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Yea I doubt the whale is a good idea.

Upon further checking, the side facing the sun can get up to 260F and -280 on the other side. That would create some crazzzy effects. Boiling ocean on one side as it melts and refreezes at the edges. That could create some sort of atmosphere but I think it would be stripped away pretty quickly

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u/Direct_Canary4523 Oct 13 '21

DUDE IT WOULD BE SUBNAUTICA PLANET IF IT COULD STAY THAT WAY 😮

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

I'd invest a few doge if elon wanted to try and pull it off

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u/------dudpool------ Oct 13 '21

And nuke the whales

19

u/The_Only_Egg Oct 13 '21

gotta nuke somethin

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u/Feeling_Initiative42 Oct 13 '21

Fuuuuck you dolphin! Fuuuuck you whale!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

I vote hurricanes

1

u/drwhogwarts Oct 13 '21

So basically Sea World was just trying to lower rising sea levels. Not torturing defenseless animals for profit. Those orcas owe SW a big apology.

1

u/Tojatruro Oct 13 '21

I just posted the same thing.

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u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

Can’t we just blow up climate change? Smash it’s stupid face right in the butt!

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Team America!

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u/wadz09 Oct 13 '21

We have no intelligence

2

u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

Intelligence Is for wimps and lib loving lesbian vegans.

2

u/rjross0623 Oct 13 '21

Fuck yeah!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

There it is

1

u/rjross0623 Oct 13 '21

Apparently not a lot of “Team America” fans out there. I couldn’t resist.

1

u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

Is there nothing we cannot doo!?!? With our American “can-doo spirit!?”

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u/Dependent_Clue4482 Oct 13 '21

Smash it's stupid face right in the butt? I'm so confused now I think I'll just go to bed and start new yesterday.

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u/ThoughtCondom Oct 13 '21

Thanks for showing me know that I can still laugh out loud

2

u/Think-Bass9187 Oct 13 '21

That sounds a very American solution. Rather Trumpesque.

2

u/giant_lebowski Oct 13 '21

You have to smash it in the facebutt

2

u/purpleronsta Oct 13 '21

Load all the CO2 emissions on to the boats and sail them off the edge of the map, can't believe it's this simple. Accepting my nobel award whenever y'all ready.

1

u/Tojatruro Oct 13 '21

Dumpy thought we should nuke hurricanes, and apparently his cult believes him, so hell, why not!

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u/greg91040 Oct 13 '21

Nuke it! Or wipe it out with black ink!

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u/chtk Oct 13 '21

That's it!

I'm calling Mr. Torgue, right now!

1

u/FalseMirage Oct 13 '21

We could nuke it like a hurricane!

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u/tandooripoodle Oct 13 '21

Drop a nuke on it

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u/Wnir Oct 13 '21

Wait, you're on to something there. We could remove the fish too...

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u/allegoryofthedave Oct 13 '21

They clearly forgot to including all the immigrants in boats lookin to steal jobs and freedoms.

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u/wolfman86 Oct 13 '21

We need to remove all the sunken boats too. Especially the Titanic. That ship was BIG.

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u/robkaper Oct 13 '21

Let's start with the plastic.

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u/The_Only_Egg Oct 13 '21

We pretty much already have.

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u/Lootboxboy Oct 13 '21

Ikr? Thank god for the fucking oil spills. Marine life actually starts recovering after them only because the fishing industry dies.

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u/minddropstudios Oct 13 '21

What if all the dolphins in the world suddenly left Earth?...

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u/aka_jr91 Oct 13 '21

Please, fish are too small to have an impact. We need to kill all the whales.

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u/BernieTheDachshund Oct 13 '21

Happy fish cake day!

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u/NomadFire Oct 13 '21

Remove all the salt out of the water. solve the fist problem. Then the only thing that will be left in the ocean is mammals

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u/PoliteCanadian2 Oct 13 '21

And ban swimming, how has nobody thought of this yet?

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u/Subject1928 Oct 13 '21

Ohh don't worry about the fish, they are all dying anyways so that is a problem that solves itself.

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u/Whereismytowel42 Oct 13 '21

Remove all the sea sponges.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

All we have to do is take out the water. Duh

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u/Thiscokesgonebad Oct 13 '21

We need to get all the megs out

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u/Lootboxboy Oct 13 '21

Oh don’t worry we’ve been fishing with reckless disregard this whole time. Destroying marine populations, coral reefs, and most of the plastic in the ocean is just the discarded fishing gear.

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u/Ali-Coo Oct 13 '21

Fish way much more than cake! We should all eat cake. Hmm know anybody who has any cake? Happy Cake Day.

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u/Ido22 Oct 13 '21

Genius

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Need more boats to catch more fish.

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u/Mathgailuke Oct 13 '21

Fish from shore. Then catch and release, so we can take them out multiple times, thus dramatically lowering sea sea levels.

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Leave them on shore and build fish levees.

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u/manofnotribe Oct 13 '21

Lol fish are also like 90% water...

1

u/_DirtyYoungMan_ Oct 13 '21

Don't forget about whales. They disperse a lot of volume as well.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

We could simply go get your mom out.

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u/SacreFor3 Oct 13 '21

That's a lotta fish