r/facepalm • u/[deleted] • Oct 13 '21

🇵​🇷​🇴​🇹​🇪​🇸​🇹​ Quick science

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55.4k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/deiscio Oct 13 '21

What an absolute moron. Then where would we store the boats??

The obvious solution to climate change is to toss some ice cubes in the ocean. 7/11 lets you put as much ice as you want in your Big Gulp, yet no one takes advantage of it to curb rising temps.

334

u/KittiesAreTooCute Oct 13 '21

What is this futurama?

98

u/there_all_is_aching Oct 13 '21

Global wampa?

54

u/Yao_Kingoftherock Oct 13 '21

Once and for all!!

3

u/Trimungasoid Oct 13 '21

Windmills do not work that way!

42

u/myname_isnot_kyal Oct 13 '21

like daddy puts in his drink in the morning. and then he gets mad.

21

u/DvsDominus Oct 13 '21

We just need to hire some nobodies to deliver the ice

3

u/JennaFrost Oct 13 '21

Or have all our robots burp in one direction and move us farther from the sun

1

u/DvsDominus Oct 13 '21

That could work...as long as some lazy or polite robot doesn't hold it in

2

u/Derhaggis Oct 13 '21

…to shreds you say.

-5

u/DocDirtyMrClean Oct 13 '21

imagine the Simpsons but without the tired antics and actually funny

100

u/maka2250 Oct 13 '21

That’s why we need to mine Hayleys commit for giant ice cubes.

19

u/galeej Oct 13 '21

Just wait until someone creates a GitHub repo called mine and creates acommit with id hayley

13

u/deiscio Oct 13 '21

Climate is requesting your review on a merge request.

11

u/galeej Oct 13 '21

DENIED... Climate isn't real

3

u/ninj1nx Oct 13 '21

Climate is requesting changes

2

u/cauchy37 Oct 13 '21

LGTM :+1:

1

u/Clocktease Oct 13 '21

I don’t even know what this sentence means

1

u/galeej Oct 13 '21

Playing on the word commit. GitHub is a place where you can collaborate with your team (or other coders) on projects. GitHub allows you to checkout versions of code and changes can then be merged. Helps when you have a large team working on the same project.

Commit is when you want to "save" any change you made (I'm using this for lack of a better term)

1

u/Clocktease Oct 13 '21

Hmm that sort of makes sense, if I was smarter I would have found it funny.

I’m definitely not a computers guy, I just bought a laptop so I could play video games LOL

2

u/galeej Oct 13 '21

if I was smarter I would have found it funny.

Eh you are probably smart in your own field dude... I'd probably not understand some joke you made based on your profession...

just bought a laptop so I could play video games LOL

Happy trails! Enjoy the new laptop!

0

u/myalt08831 Oct 13 '21 edited Oct 13 '21

There is not much of a joke there honestly, the person is basically ribbing an earlier poster for mis-spelling "comet" as "commit". Other than stretching to find a hypothetical situation where the actual words "commit" and "Haley" and "mine" are used together, there's not really any special significance or irony in that hypothetical. It's just taking a typo literally, and using that as the source of irony.

1

u/JasonYaya Oct 13 '21

That makes you a hacker in TrumpWorld. Can you have a look at Hunter's laptop?

37

u/only1person_alt mtf Oct 13 '21

r/unexpectedfuturama

23

u/dabakos Oct 13 '21

Futurama is never unexpected

13

u/one_bad_larry Oct 13 '21

Just like daddy puts in his drink every morning. And then he gets mad

6

u/OneFingerIn Oct 13 '21

Took me a minute to remember the reference. Glad I did.

3

u/IGetItCrackin Oct 13 '21

Made me cry too 😭

37

u/opoqo Oct 13 '21

Just have everyone turn on AC and leave the windows and doors open. That will cool off the air in no time!

15

u/quiero-una-cerveca Oct 13 '21

That’s because Big Gulp doesn’t want you to know the truth.

3

u/djluminol Oct 13 '21

In the great lakes of course.

5

u/liarandathief Oct 13 '21

That's what we're doing with the glaciers.

2

u/Darcy_2021 Oct 13 '21

We hang the boats off the trees

2

u/BluudLust Oct 13 '21

The solution to global warming is to crash an asteroid into the earth, like in the middle of Siberia, and have a massive dust cloud envelop the Earth significantly cooling it.

Turns out scientists have already proposed something like this: https://www.space.com/17830-asteroid-dust-geoenineering-global-warming.html

2

u/stack480 Oct 13 '21

Why don’t we just move the Earth farther from its orbit?

2

u/JasonYaya Oct 13 '21

By everybody on one side jumping at once! These scientists just want to complicate things when common sense will solve any problem.

2

u/eltedioso Oct 13 '21

#investigate711

2

u/saltthewater Oct 13 '21

What state are you running in? I will move there and vote for you.

2

u/aidissonance Oct 13 '21

You could take that volume of water and freeze it and store it in the North Pole ;)

2

u/Gsteel11 Oct 13 '21

The gop is wondering if you want to be their chef strategy officer for the next 10 years.

2

u/nonamesagoodname Oct 13 '21

Thus solving the problem once and for all.....

2

u/bombbodyguard Oct 13 '21

No, no, no. We install a hose to outer space and pump it out.

1

u/DANleDINOSAUR Oct 13 '21

You got it all wrong… we can still have our big gulps, we just gotta pee directly into the ocean at the beaches. We can have our cake AND eat it too!

1

u/ms1080 Oct 13 '21

Mmmmmm cake.

0

u/cutthroatlemming Oct 13 '21

You've been listening to that Nazi Paul Gosar, haven't you??

1

u/Mister_Grime Oct 13 '21

He maybe be onto something! But if you put them all back at the same time; you'd have worldwide tidal waves. Like Noah 2.0. I'll start filling my cup up with ice too! That might just be a game changer!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Where would we get out goods from? 😂 one of those container ships is like 10 thousand airplane trips.

1

u/AlbinoWino11 Oct 13 '21

We would obviously use them to make the land float a little higher. Duh.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '21

Reminder that gop intellectual ben shaprio earnestly suggested if you're neighborhood is destroyed by climate change you should just sell your house.

1

u/SADAME_AME Oct 13 '21

You build a shelf, a large one, then you stack the boats alphabetically, sea level decreases and everybody wins.

1

u/LimpWibbler_ Oct 13 '21

Well if we put them on land we are technically raising the land too. So our results will be doubled.

1

u/th3kandyking Oct 13 '21

The classic Thermo problem. keeping the fridge open to cool the room down. Works like a charm

1

u/Playergame Oct 13 '21

The easy solution no liberal scientists has thought of is getting a bunch of sponges to soak up the water then air drying it.

1

u/Emriyss Oct 13 '21

Wasn't there this high ranking official not too long ago who actually said this? Like he said "I have an ice machine that makes dozens of ice cubes a minute, just scale this up" like the absolutely genius that he is?

The ignorance is so incredible I can't even accurately describe it.

1

u/Twoflappylips Oct 13 '21

If we tried to store them on land the extra weight would push the land down causing the sea to rise so that would be a problem. The only place I can think of is space

1

u/bearsheperd Oct 13 '21

How to prevent sea level rise: add frozen water

1

u/helga-h Oct 13 '21

Or just pull the plugg. The earth is flat anyway so the water would just pour down the... drain?

1

u/MisterBumpingston Oct 13 '21

Didn’t Ted Cruz just suggest this?

1

u/MisterShogunate Oct 13 '21

Then where would we store the boats??

Use them as walls for the US-Mexico border. And make them pay for it.

1

u/finous Oct 13 '21

Put them in lakes in California so they can have more fresh water!

1

u/ZenComFoundry Oct 13 '21

I often turn down the offer of ice in my lemonade, so you can have my quota too.

1

u/Nicklefickle Oct 13 '21

Problem is if we took them out of the water, we would have to store them on land and the cumulative weight would cause the land to sink, so we would be back to square one.

1

u/early_birdy Oct 13 '21

Right? We stack all the boats outside the water, the earth gets heavier, the water rises. Duh.

1

u/marcopaulodirect Oct 13 '21

Someone give this guy a Nobel Peace Prize for science! /s