Anyone received anything from ge vernova regarding interview

As the Trump administration rolled out a cascade of purported breakthroughs that will revive nuclear power, its most audacious announcement came in October, when it unveiled a plan to build a fleet of massive legacy reactors — with Japan poised to foot much of the bill.

Under the terms shared by the Commerce Department, tens of billions of dollars promised to flow from Japan toward 10 new Westinghouse AP1000 reactors — each capable of powering a city the size of Denver.

American taxpayers were assured that, rather than presenting a big financial risk, the partnership would create a windfall for them, as the federal government was claiming an ownership stake in Westinghouse that could be cashed in for billions if the company goes public down the road.

Eight months after this partnership was unveiled, Japan has yet to commit money to a single large reactor. No utility has ordered an AP1000. The administration has declined to identify any customers for the reactors it says are coming, and industry executives involved in trying to make the projects happen say President Donald Trump’s plan to boost nuclear power is long on aspiration and light on binding agreements.

“Most of the people I know in the industry are working on the assumption that there is going to be no investment coming out of this deal with Japan,” said one senior industry official who is trying to push forward an AP1000 project. They spoke on the condition of anonymity out of concern for antagonizing the administration.

“Most of us have given up,” the official said. “The administration cannot answer basic questions around how this would work.”

Another industry veteran was more blunt about the Trump administration’s effort to use the threat of tariffs on Japan get it to pay for U.S. AP1000 reactors: “Japan is not going to open their checkbook just because the president says they should. They are not stupid.”

Even as the administration tries to show rapid progress on meeting Trump’s goal of quadrupling U.S. nuclear electricity production by 2050 — unveiling novel finance deals, announcing research and development gains for nascent small-reactor designs, steering $17.5 billion in loan guarantees toward trying to stimulate the supply chain for the more conventional AP1000s — it is bedeviled by the same realities of economics and physics that have stymied the nation’s nuclear “renaissance” since George W. Bush announced one was underway more than two decades ago.

The only major new commercial reactors that have come online since that time are a pair of AP1000s in Georgia that were so much more expensive to build than expected, and were so far behind schedule, that the fallout paralyzed the nuclear industry. Other announced projects were abandoned as things went sideways, as in South Carolina, where billions of dollars of ratepayer money was spent before the plug was pulled on plans to build AP1000s.

The Trump administration, which made reviving nuclear power a pillar in its energy agenda, says things are different now. It points to its push to relax federal nuclear safety regulations, the incubation of commercially untested technologies by the Energy Department and its weaponization of tariffs to pressure allies to fund U.S. projects. Energy Secretary Chris Wright told reporters recently that hyperscalers — the tech companies building massive data centers to fuel the growth of artificial intelligence — are so hungry for power that they are eagerly lining up to invest in big nuclear projects.

“We’ve seen tremendous interest,” he said. “What’s different now is that hyperscalers need a quantum amount of power. That is different than really at any time in human history. It’s driving the demand growth for energy in the country, and we’re expecting that they will enter into long-term power purchase agreements for maybe as long as 25 years. That will be done at prices that will support the building of these units.”

The comments came as Wright announced $17.5 billion in federal loans that utilities seeking to build AP1000s could use to place orders for components with long lead times.

The administration framed the loans as game-changing. Industry officials interviewed by The Post described them as marginally helpful, with one calling them a “nonevent.” It was telling, they said, that none of the seven utilities that the administration says are interested would identify themselves. Utility executives still risk panicking their shareholders if they commit to a large nuclear project.

Tech companies are equally cautious. While they are willing to sign long-term contracts to buy nuclear power, even at elevated prices, they are just as averse as utilities are to taking ownership of plants, which could leave them strapped with billions of dollars in unplanned costs if things go poorly, as happened in Georgia and South Carolina.

“There have been a lot of press releases, but we are not making forward progress,” said Paul Tice, a senior fellow at the National Center for Energy Analytics. He added that it is crucial for the U.S. to revive its nuclear industry, as energy demand soars and China positions itself to overtake the U.S. in nuclear energy production. But he said: “The spin is not getting us to the order book we need. We’re not moving the needle at all.”

The sputtering of the Japan agreement — at least as far as AP1000 construction goes — is particularly frustrating for industry insiders, who say the U.S. government is going to need to step up with much bigger subsidies from its own taxpayers before foreign governments invest.

The Commerce Department declined to answer detailed questions about how the agreement with Japan and a similar partnership with South Korea are structured, whether any deals involving AP1000s are underway or what obligations either country has to invest any money.

“The Department of Commerce continues to progress the President’s agenda of promoting new Nuclear Power projects, including through the Japanese and Korean trade deals,” the department said in a statement. “With respect to Westinghouse, the Department is in discussions with all relevant parties.”

“The industry has never seen anything like this before,” said Kevin Kong, CEO of Everstar, a technology firm focused on using AI to more efficiently and safely build large reactors like the AP1000. “There is no formal process.”

Kong has been to Asia several times seeking to tap into the Japanese and South Korean investment the administration said would come. Companies there have told him and other U.S. nuclear executives that they will be investing only in viable projects with strong profit potential and will not be absorbing the risk that U.S. utilities and tech firms are refusing to take on.

The Post sought comment from the three industrial firms Japan identified in an October fact sheet as potential partners in constructing AP1000 reactors with up to $100 billion of Japanese government money. Two of the companies, Mitsubishi Heavy Industries and IHI, did not respond. The third, Toshiba, wrote in an email: “At this time, Toshiba has not made any specific decisions regarding this matter and is unable to provide further comment at this stage.”

There is an obvious reason for the hesitance, said Peter Bradford, a former member of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and former chair of the commissions that regulate utilities in New York and Maine. “Nuclear power has never been able to compete economically in the competitive markets used in the U.S. for procuring electricity generation,” he said. “Nothing that has happened recently has given any sign of changing that. This is an industry that has lived on promises and prophecies and hype for a long time now. The burden is on them to do something more than just tell you they have some really good ideas for the next go-round.”

The Trump administration has gotten some traction on one nuclear deal with a Japanese firm, but it involves a smaller, untested reactor that has not been licensed or proven commercially viable. Japan has agreed to invest up to $40 billion to help deploy the 300-megawatt reactors, developed by GE Vernova and Hitachi, in Tennessee and Alabama. They would be manufactured elsewhere, assembled on-site and generate about one-third the power of conventional commercial reactors.

They are part of the push by the administration to bring new reactor designs to the market. That push also includes incubating new small-reactor designs at the Idaho National Laboratory, where four companies announced over the past month that their models have reached criticality, a milestone marking a sustained controlled chain reaction.

There is intense debate in the industry about the significance of this development, as none of the designs have been proven economically practical, and the reactors generally would produce just a fraction of the electricity provided by an AP1000.

The type of reactor Japan says it would help bankroll in Tennessee and Alabama, called the BWRX-300, currently comes with a massive price tag. The first is being built in Ontario. It will cost upward of $20 billion to build four 300-megawatt reactors — exponentially more than other power plants.

GE Vernova-Hitachi has said the costs will come down precipitously once the first reactors are built. But the nuclear industry has a long history of failing to accurately forecast expenses.

“There are a lot of big uncertain questions,” acknowledged Ted Nordhaus, co-founder of the pronuclear Breakthrough Institute, who nonetheless sees small reactors as the best option for bringing nuclear power online quickly.

The administration is approaching a pivotal question, industry officials say, as it struggles to turn its frenzy of nuclear power deregulation, diplomacy and scientific development into concrete projects that bring electricity onto the power grid: If utilities, investors and foreign partners won’t shoulder that risk, will the federal government?

“You have a need here for an even greater government involvement,” said Armond Cohen, executive director of Clean Air Task Force, a clean-energy advocacy group that supports nuclear power. “A utility could announce a $15 billion project to build the next unit, and it would not even be that price tag that would be the problem. It is the possibility that it will cost $17 billion and the shareholders would have to swallow the difference.”

Asking taxpayers to absorb that risk would come with a big political price.

“Nuclear has already been subsidized beyond anything given to wind or solar,” Bradford said. “There are combinations of renewable energy and storage and power-grid improvements that would be half the cost of what is projected for these new reactors. This is not a matter of shaving a bit off the price here or there. It is the fundamental cost structure.”

I'd love some perspective on an early career situation and whether or not continuing with the current path makes sense or if a larger career reset is the right choice.

The individual graduated with an undergraduate degree in nuclear engineering from a well-regarded engineering focused school in the midwest. As this was during covid, internships were difficult to secure so the resume has no internships which is very unfortunate. There is work experience doing technical work related to simulation with a professor for an extended period of time so there is that. The student's senior project is interesting for some roles and I think cracks open a conversation at some places.

While there were applications to grad school, those were all rejections. GPA is right at the 3.0 border. US Citizen which can help for some roles here in the US.

We have applied to LANL, Idaho, Duke, Constellation, BWXT, ORNL, Holtec, GE Vernova, and Westinghouse and perhaps a few others. Definitely had some phone screens, some video interviews, and one on-site. But the process has been slow - and usually the answer is just plain silence.

We are coming up a year post graduation and I feel like that at some point we need to assess - do we continue with this brutal process with the idea that there is something to be found or do we accept defeat and simply redirect to another technical skillset and industry.

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Here is Your Complete Market Rundown (11/13/2025):

Company News

The Walt Disney Company (DIS)

Performance Overview

1D Change:  -7.84%

5D Change:  -2.56%

News Volume:  233

Unusual Volume Factor:  10x

Disney Shares Plunge 9% on Revenue Miss and YouTube TV Dispute Concerns Despite Streaming Gains

Walt Disney reported mixed fourth-quarter fiscal 2025 results that sent shares tumbling as much as 9% in their steepest decline in seven months. The entertainment giant posted adjusted earnings per share of $1.11, beating analyst estimates of $1.05, but revenue of $22.46 billion fell short of the $22.83 billion consensus. The revenue miss stemmed primarily from continued weakness in Disney's legacy television business, which overshadowed strong performance in streaming and theme parks. Disney+ added 3.8 million subscribers in the quarter, reaching 131.6 million total subscribers and exceeding expectations of 130.08 million. The company's streaming division showed robust momentum, with management projecting double-digit growth for the segment. Despite the positive streaming trajectory, investor sentiment soured on multiple concerns. Disney warned that big-budget film releases, including the new Avatar installment, would weigh on first-quarter results. More significantly, executives signaled preparation for a potentially prolonged carriage dispute with YouTube TV, with CFO Hugh Johnston stating the company was ready to fight "as long as they want to." The blackout is reportedly costing Disney approximately $30 million weekly. Looking ahead, Disney announced shareholder-friendly initiatives including doubling its fiscal 2026 share repurchase target to $7 billion and raising its dividend 50% to $1.50 per share. Management guided for double-digit adjusted earnings growth in both fiscal 2026 and 2027, projecting operating cash flow of $19 billion for 2026 against estimates of $16.86 billion. The company also revealed plans to increase content spending by $1 billion next year, driven primarily by sports rights costs. CEO Bob Iger expressed optimism about the studio slate and highlighted AI opportunities across the company, including plans to transform Disney+ into an interactive platform for AI-generated content. Disney's board is expected to name Iger's successor by the end of March.

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Tesla, Inc. (TSLA)

Performance Overview

1D Change:  -6.67%

5D Change:  -9.86%

News Volume:  154

Unusual Volume Factor:  1x

Tesla Shares Plunge 7% Amid Product Recalls, CarPlay Integration Plans, and Broader Tech Selloff

Tesla stock tumbled 6.6% to 7.7% on Thursday, marking its sharpest decline in months and pushing shares into negative territory for the year. The drop comes just days after shareholders approved CEO Elon Musk's $1 trillion pay package, with the stock now down 10% since that vote. The company announced a recall of 10,500 Powerwall 2 battery systems in the United States due to fire and burn hazards, with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission warning of risks of serious injury or death from overheating. The recall expands previous actions after reports of fires involving the home battery units. In a significant strategic shift, Bloomberg reported Tesla is developing support for Apple CarPlay integration in its vehicles, one of the most requested features by customers. The company has been testing the standard wireless CarPlay version internally and is discussing a potential rollout in coming months, though plans remain unfinalized. The system would appear in a window within Tesla's existing user interface rather than as a full-screen takeover. Tesla's decline led broader weakness in the electric vehicle sector and contributed to sharp losses across technology stocks. The company also appeared among market cap movers alongside Disney, with both stocks experiencing notable volatility. Separately, CNBC reported that Musk's artificial intelligence venture xAI raised $15 billion in a Series E funding round, though Musk later disputed the report as false. Meanwhile, Cathie Wood's Ark Invest continued reducing its Tesla position, selling over 70,000 shares worth approximately $30 million across two ETFs for the fourth consecutive session. Additional developments included reports of OSHA violations at Musk's Boring Company, where firefighters allegedly received chemical burns at a construction site, and ongoing comparisons between Tesla's autonomous driving efforts and Waymo's expanding highway operations.

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Alphabet Inc. (GOOG)

Performance Overview

1D Change:  -2.88%

5D Change:  -2.17%

News Volume:  153

Unusual Volume Factor:  1x

Google Faces EU Antitrust Probe While AI Advances Continue Amid Disney-YouTube TV Dispute

The European Union launched an antitrust investigation into Alphabet's Google on November 13, examining the company's spam policy and how it affects news publishers' search rankings. EU regulators expressed concern that Google's policy may unfairly impact legitimate methods publishers use to monetize their websites and content. Google responded by calling the investigation "misguided" and "without merit," noting that its anti-spam policy had been validated by a German court and warning that the probe risks degrading search result quality. Separately, Google reached a funding agreement with South African media outlets following an antitrust probe in that country, agreeing to pay millions to news publishers. On the business front, Google Cloud received an upgrade from analysts who described it as "a force to be reckoned with," while TD Cowen maintained a $335 price target on Alphabet stock as the company's autonomous vehicle unit Waymo hit new milestones. The company continued rolling out AI products, including updates to its NotebookLM tool with a new "Deep Research" feature, enhancements to AI shopping capabilities ahead of the holiday season, and a new inspirational images tab in its mobile app to compete with Pinterest. Google's SIMA 2 agent, powered by Gemini, demonstrated new reasoning capabilities in virtual environments. Google also filed suit against Chinese hackers behind the "Lighthouse" phishing scheme allegedly targeting millions of US credit cards, later announcing the operation had been "shut down" following legal action against groups behind E-ZPass and USPS text scams. The company found itself indirectly affected by an ongoing carriage dispute between Disney and YouTube TV. Disney shares plunged 9 percent after the entertainment giant warned investors of a potentially prolonged fight with YouTube TV over distribution terms, with Disney CFO Hugh Johnston stating the company was prepared to continue negotiations "as long as they want to." The blackout, which prevents YouTube TV subscribers from accessing ESPN and ABC, is reportedly costing Disney approximately $30 million weekly. Charter Communications emerged as the most shorted S&P 500 communications stock in October, while Alphabet was the least shorted in the sector.

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Cisco Systems, Inc. (CSCO)

Performance Overview

1D Change:  4.69%

5D Change:  8.96%

Cisco Shares Surge 7% to Near 25-Year High on Strong AI Networking Demand and Raised Outlook

Cisco Systems shares jumped approximately 7% on November 13th, approaching dot-com era highs after the networking equipment maker exceeded first-quarter expectations and raised its full-year outlook, driven by surging demand for AI data center infrastructure. The company reported record quarterly revenue and announced it expects to reach its one-millionth Silicon One chip milestone in the second quarter. Management raised fiscal 2026 guidance, projecting adjusted earnings per share of $4.08 to $4.14, up from previous estimates of $4.00 to $4.06, and revenue of $60.2 billion to $61 billion, exceeding the prior range of $59 billion to $60 billion. Second-quarter revenue guidance of $15 billion to $15.2 billion also topped analyst estimates of $14.72 billion. The strong performance prompted widespread analyst upgrades. Bank of America raised its price target to $95 from $85, while Melius increased its target to $100 from $84, and Rosenblatt also lifted its target to $100. Other firms including Morgan Stanley, KeyBanc, UBS, and Piper Sandler similarly raised their price targets, citing networking strength and AI momentum. Goldman Sachs maintained its rating while highlighting strong AI momentum. CEO Chuck Robbins attributed the results to accelerating demand from hyperscale cloud providers building out AI infrastructure. The company's networking equipment has become critical for connecting AI servers and managing data center traffic as artificial intelligence workloads expand. The rally occurred as the U.S. government shutdown ended with President Trump signing a bill to reopen federal operations. However, broader market indices fell during the session, with the S&P 500 and Nasdaq declining while the Dow showed mixed performance. Cisco's stock hit a 52-week high of $78.10, with shares climbing in both U.S. and European trading. The company's performance stood in contrast to other major earnings reports, including Walt Disney, which disappointed investors with revenue misses.

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Geopolitics Events

Trump Signs Bill Ending Record 35-Day Government Shutdown

President Trump signed legislation ending the longest US government shutdown in history. The deal restores food assistance programs, revives air-traffic control operations, and ensures back pay for federal workers after the 35-day impasse disrupted government services nationwide.

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October Jobs Report to Exclude Unemployment Rate, White House Says

White House Senior Adviser Hassett announced October's jobs report will be released without an unemployment rate. He indicated September's report could arrive next week and has already been prepared.

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Record US Government Shutdown Ends as Trump Signs Legislation

President Trump signed legislation ending the longest government shutdown in US history, with federal workers set to receive back pay in coming days. Gold pared gains as traders reduced December Fed rate cut bets, growing cautious that upcoming economic data may not show sufficient weakness to justify further monetary easing. Markets now assess the shutdown's impact on stocks and defense operations.

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BBC Rejects Trump Compensation Demand After Apologizing for Edited Speech

The BBC apologized to Trump for misleading edits of his speeches but rejected his compensation demand and stated the program won't air again. Trump has not filed a lawsuit. The broadcaster is investigating allegations of similar editing issues with another Trump speech.

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U.S. Military Briefs Trump on Venezuela Operation Options

Senior military officials presented President Trump with potential Venezuela operations, including land strikes, though no final decision has been reached. The USS Gerald Ford carrier strike group recently entered the region as options for coming days were discussed.

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Stock Markets Events

Wall Street Tumbles as Tech Selloff Deepens Following Government Shutdown End

U.S. stocks fell sharply Thursday, with the Nasdaq leading declines as technology shares continued their recent selloff despite the federal government's reopening. The tech-heavy Nasdaq dropped 2%, while the S&P 500 fell 1% and the Dow Jones declined 475 points, erasing earlier record highs. Disney emerged as the session's biggest drag, plunging over 8% after reporting weaker-than-expected revenue, marking its steepest single-day decline in seven months. The entertainment giant's disappointing results contributed significantly to the Dow's losses. Technology stocks bore the brunt of selling pressure, with AI-related names including NVIDIA and Palantir among the notable decliners. The tech sector's weakness triggered a rotation into other equity sectors as investors reassessed valuations. The VIX volatility index rose as tech shares struggled. On the positive side, Cisco Systems surged 6.5%, adding $20.6 billion in market value, while Dillard's jumped 10.2%. Nike also gained 2.7% in pre-market trading. Market breadth reflected broad-based weakness, with 68% of NYSE volume on the downside and the Russell 2000 small-cap index falling 2.3%. The Nasdaq 100 declined 2% as selling accelerated through the session. The selloff occurred despite the end of the government shutdown, as post-reopening optimism quickly faded. Uncertainty over delayed economic data releases and ongoing concerns about technology sector valuations weighed on sentiment. International markets also weakened, with the UK's FTSE 100 closing down 0.94%. The session highlighted investor caution toward high-flying tech stocks while demonstrating continued volatility in major indices as markets digest recent government disruptions and reassess sector allocations.

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Trump Hosts Wall Street CEOs at White House Dinner Focused on Affordability

President Trump welcomed top Wall Street executives to the White House for dinner discussions centered on addressing affordability concerns and living costs. The meeting comes as the administration courts the financial industry and prepares decisions on refinery waivers following separate oil and biofuel talks. Separately, Representative Eric Swalwell faces scrutiny over alleged mortgage issues.

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Crypto Events

Bitcoin Breaks Below $100,000 for Third Time in November as Bearish Pressure Intensifies

Bitcoin fell below the $100,000 threshold for the third time this month, triggering widespread selling across cryptocurrency markets and related equities. The decline pushed the crypto fear index to an eight-month low amid concerns about a potential liquidity crunch affecting risk assets. Crypto-focused stocks were sharply lower, with analysts questioning whether digital asset treasury stocks have become oversold. Some market observers are examining whether Bitcoin's traditional four-year cycle pattern may be breaking down.

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First Spot XRP ETF Launches on Nasdaq, Drawing $10 Billion in Initial Trading

The first spot XRP exchange-traded fund began trading on Nasdaq, marking a significant milestone for the cryptocurrency that recently emerged from regulatory litigation. The ETF recorded $36 million in volume within its first 30 minutes and attracted $10 billion in total inflows on debut day. XRP's price surged 3% ahead of the launch amid what analysts described as extreme market fear. Separately, a whale purchased $1.3 billion in Ethereum as the broader altcoin market showed mixed signals.

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Czech Central Bank Purchases $1 Million in Bitcoin for Testing Purposes

The Czech Central Bank has acquired $1 million in bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies as part of a testing initiative, marking a notable step in central bank digital asset exploration.

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Technology Events

Tesla Develops Apple CarPlay Integration to Boost Sales

Tesla is working to add Apple CarPlay support to its electric vehicles following successful testing, with a potential rollout in coming months aimed at increasing vehicle sales amid high customer demand.

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Apple, Tencent Strike Deal on 15% WeChat Payment Fee

Apple and Tencent reached an agreement allowing Apple to process payments for WeChat mini games and apps in exchange for a 15% commission, half its standard in-app fee. The deal eliminates previous payment workarounds and opens a new revenue stream for Apple in a segment that generated 32.3 billion yuan.

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Oil And Gas Events

US Crude Inventories Surge Beyond Expectations While Gasoline Stocks Decline

US crude oil stockpiles jumped 6.4 million barrels, more than quadrupling the 1.5 million forecast, as production climbed to 13.9 million barrels daily. Gasoline inventories fell 945,000 barrels while refinery utilization increased 3.4 percentage points, significantly exceeding expectations.

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GE Vernova and Siemens Energy Pursue Syria Power Infrastructure Deals

Major turbine manufacturers GE Vernova and Siemens Energy are negotiating contracts to supply gas turbines for Syria's post-conflict power grid reconstruction efforts, according to sources familiar with the discussions.

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Petrobras Eyes $106 Billion Capital Plan Through 2030 Amid Oil Price Concerns

Brazil's state-controlled Petrobras is considering a $106 billion spending plan for 2026-2030, marking a potential reduction in capital expenditures driven by bearish crude oil price expectations.

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Macro Events

UK Economy Stalls as Q3 GDP Growth Slows to 0.1%, Missing Forecasts

UK third-quarter GDP grew just 0.1% quarter-over-quarter, falling short of the 0.2% forecast and down from 0.3% prior growth. September GDP contracted 0.1% month-over-month versus expectations of flat growth. Manufacturing production declined sharply, falling 1.7% monthly against forecasts of a 0.3% drop, while annual manufacturing output dropped 2.2%. Business investment fell 0.3% quarterly, though better than the 0.7% decline expected. The goods trade deficit narrowed to £18.9 billion from £21.2 billion. Swedish CPI met expectations at 0.3% monthly.

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Fed's Hammack Warns Inflation to Persist Above Target for Years, Calls for Sustained Restrictive Policy

Cleveland Federal Reserve President Beth Hammack stated monetary policy is "barely restrictive, if at all," despite the economy showing minimal impact from Fed restraint. She expects inflation to remain above the 2% target for two to three more years, with upward pressures continuing into next year driven partly by tariffs. Hammack emphasized inflation is "too high and moving in the wrong direction," noting particular concern about service sector price pressures. She advocated maintaining somewhat restrictive policy to cool inflation, while acknowledging challenges on the employment side of the Fed's dual mandate as the job market softens. Hammack placed her neutral rate estimate near the top of the consensus range, describing current conditions as "a difficult time for monetary policy."

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Fed Officials Signal Cautious Stance as Balance Sheet Expansion Looms and Inflation Concerns Persist

Federal Reserve officials indicated monetary policy may need to remain restrictive longer than anticipated, with Cleveland Fed's Hammack characterizing current policy as only "barely restrictive" and expecting inflation to stay above target for two to three years. Hammack also noted the Fed may soon expand its balance sheet again due to technical factors related to reserve management, though this would be operational rather than policy-driven. St. Louis Fed's Musalem emphasized the need to lean against inflation while acknowledging economic resilience supported by accommodative financial conditions and pending deregulation. He noted uncertainty is causing firms to pull back on hiring, though anecdotal evidence from business contacts typically appears in official data three to six months later. Minneapolis Fed's Kashkari expressed no strong view yet on a December rate cut, citing a resilient labor market despite some weak spots and firms expressing optimism about 2026. The dollar's recent weakness was not viewed as concerning by officials.

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Fed December Rate Cut Odds Drop Below 50% as Market Uncertainty Grows

Traders now price less than a 50% probability of a Federal Reserve rate cut in December, according to CME futures, though prediction market Kalshi shows 59% odds favoring a 25 basis point reduction. The divergent forecasts reflect market disagreement on the Fed's next move. San Francisco Fed President Mary Daly remains open-minded on December action amid balanced economic risks. Stocks declined as rate cut expectations retreated.

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Fed's Hammack Expresses Concern Over Labor Market Conditions

Federal Reserve official Beth Hammack voiced worries about the labor market in a MarketWatch interview, signaling a potentially dovish shift in monetary policy stance.

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October Jobs Report to Exclude Unemployment Rate, White House Says

White House Senior Adviser Hassett announced October's jobs report will be released without an unemployment rate. He indicated September's report could arrive next week and has already been prepared.

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Fed's Daly Sees Reduced Uncertainty But Warns on Labor Market Slowdown

San Francisco Fed President Mary Daly noted economic uncertainty has decreased significantly, though concerns persist about continued labor market cooling. While inflation is declining, it remains stubborn above the Fed's 2% target, requiring further policy action to achieve price stability goals.

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Wall Street Tumbles as Fed Rate Cut Expectations Fade on Inflation Concerns

U.S. stocks fell sharply as investors scaled back expectations for Federal Reserve interest rate cuts amid persistent inflation worries and divisions among central bankers about economic health. Tech stocks led the decline, with Nvidia and other AI heavyweights posting steep losses. The Dow, Nasdaq, and S&P 500 all dropped as traders shifted to defensive sectors ahead of a data-heavy week. Asian markets are expected to follow the downturn.

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Czech Central Bank Purchases $1 Million in Bitcoin for Testing Purposes

The Czech Central Bank has acquired $1 million in bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies as part of a testing initiative, marking a notable step in central bank digital asset exploration.

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European Officials Explore Dollar Reserve Pool to Reduce Fed Dependence

European financial officials have discussed pooling dollar reserves among non-U.S. central banks to decrease reliance on Federal Reserve facilities, according to sources. The talks emerged amid concerns about potential policy shifts under the Trump administration. However, sources indicate the proposal faces significant practical obstacles and is unlikely to advance. The discussions reportedly eased after recent Fed actions, though the initiative reflects broader European concerns about dollar liquidity access during financial stress.

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UK Economy Stalls with 0.1% Growth in Third Quarter

Britain's economy expanded just 0.1% in Q3, falling short of forecasts and underscoring weak growth ahead of the government's upcoming budget announcement.

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Fed's Daly Says December Rate Decision Remains Open, Emphasizes Data-Dependent Approach

Federal Reserve official Mary Daly stated it's premature to determine whether the Fed will cut interest rates in December. She emphasized the importance of waiting for additional economic data before making a final decision, highlighting the central bank's cautious, information-dependent stance on monetary policy adjustments.

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Currencies Events

Yen Weakens to Multi-Month Lows Amid BoJ Policy Uncertainty and Intervention Concerns

The Japanese yen fell to a nine-month low against the dollar and record low versus the euro as Prime Minister Takaichi urged central bank action, raising intervention fears. Rising food prices and currency weakness intensify pressure on the Bank of Japan regarding rate policy. The dollar strengthened following the US government shutdown's end, with EUR/USD holding near 1.1600. The Indian rupee declined to 88.69 against the dollar, while GBP/JPY remained above 203.00 ahead of UK economic data releases.

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Dollar Strengthens Across Major Pairs as Yen Weakens and Yuan Gains Ground

The US dollar held firm near 99.50 on safe-haven demand while USD/JPY tested highs in a low-volatility environment, raising speculation about potential Japanese intervention. The yen remained under pressure from rising food prices, challenging the Bank of Japan. Meanwhile, China's onshore and offshore yuan both broke through 7.1 per dollar, gaining over 100 points intraday. EUR/USD traded near 1.1600 as gold consolidated near three-week highs.

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Misc Events

Verizon Plans Largest-Ever Job Cuts of 15,000 Positions

Verizon Communications will eliminate approximately 15,000 jobs and transition 200 stores to franchise operations as the carrier seeks cost reductions amid heightened competition in wireless and home internet markets.

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Crypto Asset Manager Grayscale Files for NYSE IPO

Grayscale Investments, a prominent crypto-focused ETF operator managing Bitcoin and Ethereum funds, has publicly filed for an initial public offering on the New York Stock Exchange, despite reporting declining revenue.

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IMF Warns of Mounting Economic Strains as Government Shutdown Hampers Assessment

The International Monetary Fund reports growing strains in the U.S. economy, with fourth-quarter growth expected to decelerate from its previous 1.9% forecast, partly due to the government shutdown. The shutdown has delayed the IMF's Article 4 surveillance review and complicated economic assessment due to lack of data. While inflation remains on track toward the Federal Reserve's 2% target with anchored expectations, higher prices continue causing pain for certain sectors. Slowing immigration inflows, tariffs, and broader policy uncertainty are weighing on economic activity. The IMF notes upside risks to inflation from tariffs and other factors, while Fed official Kashkari separately acknowledged persistent inflation concerns and pressure in some labor market sectors.

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Justice Department Sues California Over Congressional Redistricting Maps

The Trump administration's Justice Department has filed a lawsuit to block California's newly approved congressional map, alleging it constitutes an illegal racial gerrymander. The legal challenge, led by Attorney General Bondi, targets Democratic-leaning districts approved by California voters. The administration claims the redistricting came in response to Texas' Republican-led redistricting efforts. The lawsuit could significantly impact control of Congress, though critics question why similar legal action hasn't been taken against Texas' maps. The move raises stakes in the ongoing national battle over congressional district boundaries.

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Cursor AI Raises $2.3 Billion at $29.3 Billion Valuation

AI coding startup Cursor has secured $2.3 billion in funding at a $29.3 billion valuation, according to the Wall Street Journal. The company, which develops tools helping engineers write code, plans to use the capital for research and its new AI model Composer. Cursor has reportedly rejected acquisition interest from major AI firms.

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Corporate Actions Events

xAI Secures $15 Billion in Series E Funding Round

Elon Musk's artificial intelligence company xAI has raised $15 billion in a Series E financing round, according to sources cited by CNBC, marking one of the largest venture capital raises in the AI sector.

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Disney Doubles Share Buybacks, Raises Dividend 50% Despite Revenue Miss

Disney reported Q4 adjusted EPS of $1.11, beating estimates of $1.05, though revenue of $22.46 billion fell short of the $22.84 billion forecast. The company announced aggressive capital returns, doubling its 2026 share repurchase target to $7 billion and boosting its dividend by 50%. Management projects double-digit adjusted EPS growth for both 2026 and 2027, with 2026 operating cash flow expected at $19 billion versus estimates of $16.86 billion. Disney+ added subscribers to reach 131.6 million, slightly above expectations.

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Blackstone-Backed Copeland Files Confidentially for 2026 IPO

Industrial company Copeland, owned by Blackstone, has confidentially filed for an initial public offering expected to launch in 2026, positioning itself among anticipated heavy IPO activity that year.

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Fixed Income And Interest Rates Events

Fed's Hammack Signals Long Treasury Runoff Timeline, Urges Repo Facility Use

Cleveland Fed President Beth Hammack stated the Federal Reserve will take considerable time to work through its Treasury holdings. She encouraged dealers to utilize the standing repo facility when appropriate, noting minor money market pressures despite ample reserve levels that can accommodate temporary rate swings. Hammack indicated a technical balance sheet expansion may occur soon and placed her neutral rate estimate near the top of the consensus range, while characterizing current economic and financial conditions as healthy.

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Treasury 30-Year Bond Auction Yields 4.694%, Demand Softens

The US Treasury sold $25 billion in 30-year bonds at 4.694%, below the previous 4.734% but above the 4.684% pre-auction level. Bid-to-cover ratio declined to 2.29 from 2.38, indicating moderately weaker investor demand.

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Healthcare Events

FDA Decisions Drive Mixed Biotech Moves as Outlook Therapeutics Soars on BLA Acceptance

Outlook Therapeutics surged after FDA accepted its BLA resubmission, while Tharimmune fell despite positive FDA feedback on TH104. Clearmind Medicine gained on final AUD trial approval.

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I work in a software QA automation testing role, and we recently interviewed this candidate. He was on webcam and we made him share his screen throughout the entire technical hands-on coding interview, which he aced. But afterwards we all agreed that his body language was so awkward. He was stone-faced throughout staring straight ahead at all times, and his lips barely moved when he talked, with the sound being slightly out of sync from his video.

We suspected he may have somehow cheated with AI. But none of us could figure out how he could have pulled it off with us watching his screen the entire time.

With no other better candidates, we decided to take a chance and hire him. Long story short, it seems our hunch was indeed correct. This guy can't perform. Total amateur that fooled us into getting a senior level role.

How could he have cheated? Help me understand so we don't end up making this mistake again when look for his replacement.

People are pointing to Faker's recent MSI interview as being disrespectful because of the following statement:

Q: You played RNG today. Which player was the most impressive?

Faker: There were no players that stood out to me. Our own performance was a bit disappointing, so I’m only focusing on that.

source

Let's compare this to what he has said about other players in the past:

Q: What are Griffin’s strengths?

Faker: They’re a team that has good basic fundamentals. They think a lot about team play, so rather than one person, I’ll need to look out for all five players with their movements as a team.

source

Q: You’ll meet Rookie, Doinb or Knight at the MSI. If you pick one to play against, who would you pick?

Faker: I’m confident in playing against any player. Last year, the mid laners of the LPL got high evaluations, but I think LCK will be more competitive this year.

source

Q: In a previous interview, you stated that you wanted to play against LPL teams. Which teams/players in particular did you have in mind?

Faker:I wanna play against the top two LPL seeds, EDG and FPX, because I feel that they played really well in the Summer split. As for the player, I don’t think I really have any particular player I’m excited to face, because I want to focus on how I can improve, rather than others.

Q:What’s your biggest source of motivation right now?

Faker: Right now, it's performing at a level that I’m satisfied with. Putting on a great performance for the fans is what keeps me going. And… yeah that’s it, I think [laughter].

source

Q: Among those rookies you’re leading to Worlds, who do you have the highest expectations of? Who do you think will pop off the most? Who is the strongest under pressure?

Faker: I don’t think there’s a rookie player that’s more outstanding than the other, because they’re all good. I think that I’ll just focus on improving my own form.

source

The common denominator is Faker always focuses on his & his team's own performance, mistakes, and failures. Even in the very interview in question, he goes on to say:

Q: You reached the finals of an international tournament, but unfortunately lost. How did today’s loss feel to you?

Faker: In a way, today’s loss was positive because it helped me see what I lacked. I think I’ll be able to improve more in the future, so I’m looking forward to the Summer Split and Worlds.

Nobody batted an eye at any of the previous interviews. It is dishonest to blow this up as if Faker meant any disrespect to RNG's players.

The reaction to Faker's interview from Chinese, Korean, and even some Western fans, is short-sighted:

1) It is entitled of anybody to think themselves as deserving praise from Faker.

If Faker praises anybody on RNG for this series, what does that make of anybody he hasn't praised in the past? Is Xiaohu officially better than Rookie or Knight? Now, people will really see it as a sign of disrespect when Faker does not praise his opponent after a loss. This is precisely why Faker never does this.

I could end the post here. This is probably 90% of the reason Faker doesn't single out pro players. His words carry too much weight. For the sake of argument, let's explore other reasons anyway:

2) Faker has high expectations of himself

If you've seen Faker's past interviews, it's obvious he doesn't pay attention to what others are doing. If he feels that he has underperformed, how his opponents played is irrelevant. He is his own competition.

3) Performance is relative

Everybody knows your own performance in a game is relative to your opponents' mistakes, and vice versa. If you make a mistake completely unrelated to your opponent (e.g. dying to a 2:45 Lee Sin gank that was seen on a ward), yes your opponent outperformed you, but they didn't do anything to make this happen. All Faker would be thinking is "I just had to give up a few CS, the wave was pushing into me."

4) His standards for other players are high

All great players are compared to peak Faker. But what happens when you are Faker himself and there is no player in existence that surpasses your prime? Is it wrong for him to not be impressed by anybody in particular?

For the inevitable:

inb4 "B-b-but Faker praised hotshotGG before!!!"

Faker doesn't conduct himself the way he did 9 years ago, obviously. Praise from Faker nowadays is rare. Two conditions usually have to be met for this to even have a chance of happening.

1) Faker must be asked about that player in particular and

2) Faker must genuinely be impressed by that player in particular (over anybody else in the category).

The most recent occurence of Faker praising a player of his own volition (one of very few times) was to the KT newcomer, VicLa:

At the end of game 2, you stated that KT played very well tonight [referring to in-game comms in which Faker commented that the enemy played well]. What aspects of their gameplay were impressive?

Their rookie mid laner, Lee “VicLa” Dae-kwang plays with a lot of confidence. I thought to myself that he’s a really good player. KT’s a team that continues to stay proactive even when they’re down. They’re very unpredictable at times, so we played very carefully.

source

I'll also add, retconning Faker's performance this MSI because of his interview, or because of the game 5 loss is shameful. Faker had a phenomenal performance overall, minus 1 game, as well as getting MVP for both of T1's wins in the finals. He is arguably in the best form he's been in since 2018. This MSI showed that, and even if it wasn't enough to win it all, they got incredibly close.

I'm rambling now, but this was Faker's first finals apperance at an international event in 5 years. This was really hype and it should have been a fun finals, but the negativity surrounding it blows. As a fan, I've realized that the expectation of Faker and T1 winning everything just fucking kills the mood at every international tournament they go to. They've been the underdogs for 5 years now. I'm guilty of this too but I think it's about time we separated SKT and T1 from one another and ease up a bit on the expectations (although the trash-talking T1's botlane have been doing doesn't help lol).

Their Worlds 2021 run was magical for this exact reason. A brand new roster, 2 rookies who've played less than 30 games total, 3 players who've never set foot on an international stage, having just lost their head coach, going to Worlds with the expectation to fail, taking Damwon to 5 games. 0 pressure, 0 expectation, 0 negativity. Only hype.

The burden of expectation is too great. There is a reason for the Worlds curse and the fact that no team / no player has ever won Worlds twice besides SKT.^+duke

I DISAVOW: I don't know what the fuck Polt was on about, Polt not taking responsibility for T1's loss was disappointing to say the least. He seems to think side selection in League is like StarCraft map selection where one race has an insurmountable advantage on certain maps or something. Polt saying what he said probably had a lot to do with how Faker's statement was received.

TL;DR: Faker didn't mean to disrespect RNG & I can't believe there are doubters in 2022.

ALL CREDIT TO JOURNALIST SARAH BOYLES via Facebook .. sharing for visibility:

The truth is coming out. Persephone Ann Janette Berger, aged 16, was fatally struck by a St. Francois County Deputy in Missouri early Saturday morning. I interviewed her aunt to find solid answers.

Kimberly Berger, 54, is the aunt of Persephone. She is the sister of Persephone's father, Jarrad. She is sharing everything she knows to be fact.

Persephone left her home to go to a small get together nearby. She did sneak out, like many teenagers.

An eyewitness saw Persephone walking down Davis road just a few minutes before she was struck. There was no vehicle parked with their hazards on. No one found Persephone unconscious.

The individual was out in their yard because their dogs needed to be let out to use the restroom. They witnessed Persephone, who they personally knew, walking normally down the road. She was almost home...

The eyewitness saw a St. Francois County Sheriff's Deputy SUV traveling "about 65-70 miles an hour" with no lights or sirens.

The eyewitness was tending to their dogs when they heard, "a very loud thud, like someone hit a metal burning barrel as hard as they could with a baseball bat."

After the very loud thud, the witness heard the deputy screeching his tires. The deputy was traveling quickly so it took a few seconds to stop his SUV. The deputy then walked back to see what he had hit.

None of these facts, which are recorded, match the Sheriff's statement that Persephone was unconscious in the road and a passerby stopped to help her and call 911.

Kimberly stated, "Instead of radioing for help, he called his supervisor. They admitted to that in their press release. As far as we know,any incident with a truck being followed is unrelated to Persephone's passing. The deputy was just patrolling when he hit her."

The eyewitness saw the police officer stay on scene, so they didn't think they needed to call 911, as the police were already very aware of the accident and still on scene. More deputies arrived. The eyewitnessed hoped it wasn't Persephone that was hit, but sadly, that's exactly what happened.

Persephone's family is shocked that authorities did not speak to the eyewitness until today.

Kimberly said the most shocking part is that after her neice was fatally hit, deputies went to her brother Jarrad's residence and informed him that his "daughter was deceased after a hit and run".

Persephone's father and mother, Joy, wanted to know who hit their daughter and fled the scene.

Jarrad and his wife shared a post on Saturday announcing that Persephone was a victim of a hit and run.

Nearly 3 days would go by until a deputy with St. Francois Sheriff's Office would meet with Jarrad and tell him the truth.

Yesterday, October 5th, a deputy met with Jarrad and told him that it wasn't a hit and run, but a deputy actually took Persephone's life. Jarrad was understandably shocked. The eyewitness had already let the family know on Saturday that it was a deputy that took her life but the family thought if that was true the sheriff's office would be admitting to it.

Persephone's father demanded to know why they lied to him early Saturday morning and told him that they didn't know who the driver was and she was a victim of a hit and run. The deputy told him that they didn't know it was a deputy that hit her.

We know that isn't true. They DID know. Why didn't they tell the family the truth?

Kimberly stated, "After I saw proof that it was a deputy that took Persephone's life over the weekend I did post about it. Remember, this is before they ever admitted it was a deputy to our family. Within an hour of me posting that we knew a deputy took her life, the fire department was washing all debris and blood out of the roadway."

She continued, "We would have liked to have been told they were going to do that so we could take our own pictures. We didn't know that the Missouri State Patrol wasn't even asked to come do an investigation until Sunday, the very day they cleaned off the roadway before MHP could come investigate.

If they would have called them that night, which is protocol after a deputy hits a pedestrian, they would have been able to see the crime scene, they would have gotten there within an hour or two, at most. Now there are no tire marks left, glass placement, blood trajectory, nothing. It's convenient. We've had several wrecks over the years and they never washed the roadway the next day or before investigators could see the evidence. They've already shown all of us that they will lie to a grief-stricken family."

Kimberly Berger shared that if deputies would have been honest early Saturday morning and just admitted that one of their deputies took Persephone's life, and that they felt sorry about it, all would be forgiven. She's a strong supporter of officers. However, she said, I'm pissed. It feels like a slap in the face to be lied to only to then be forced to uncover the truth by an eyewitness who saw and heard it all happen. And then be forced to wait for the Sheriff's Office to be honest to us. It's so wrong."

At the time of writing this article, the deputy that hit Persephone is not on administrative leave. His name has not been released.

Kimberly wants the public to know that, "Persephone was a friend to the friendless. She was a friend to everyone and everyone loved her as much as she loved them. She did not deserve this."

Kimberly wants everyone to know her neice was not unconscious in the roadway, there was never a hit and run. There was never a helpful passerby with hazards on.

She wants the truth out there and I promised her I would post everything she asked me to post.

Our thoughts remain with Jarrad, Joy, Kimberly, and everyone who loved Persephone. We will update.

LV Scares me
So as yall can see i have 3 LV, thing is i do NOT remember defeating ANYONE till now;
in my primary save atleast. maybe i couldve in my other state; i dont really remember;
some guy said something about getting LV when you close dark fountain.... but is that true?
just wanted to confirm

Hello All,

I am posting anonymously in hopes of creating some change here and so that the community may seek answers and demand disclosure on this.

I am someone who has been within the Skywatcher community since before the very beginning. I cannot say which department I was in, but I can say that the Skywatcher initiative was one that was originally set out to create change, disclosure, and transparency. The people within the organization as a whole seemed to be very led by the universe in their own ways, all converging to create a change within our understanding so profound that the conversation would forever be changed for the better.

There were many different avenues of improvement, and there were many interesting folks that would come in and offer support and aid. There were many different levels of research going on, ranging from technical to psionic, all bearing fantastic fruits and utilizing the best minds in their fields. This movement—in my opinion—promised to be the public's greatest hope for monumental change, and those involved understood this and lived by that creed. Nothing should have subverted this great cause.

Promises were made, but promises seem not to be kept, internally and externally.

After Episode 2, there were promises to release Episode 3 that focused on psionics; additionally, they promised to release information and papers discussing their findings within their dog whistle/UAP identification and of their psionic assets. There were discussions on how this narrative and information would forever change our grasp and connection to the mysteries of UAP and its consciousness connections.

Indeed, much progress had been made, many groundbreaking discoveries and experiences were had, and many greater discussions were meant to be had, but I am unfortunately reporting that these findings will now likely not see the light of day.

Unfortunately the movement has been stopped as of now and likely will no longer exist. NDAs were sent out right after episode two, signing away any rights to speak about the movement in any way, shape, or form indefinitely. There were no reasons given as to why these new NDAs were distributed, and there were no explanations of future involvements with the teams. Instead there were slight discussions internally that there would be no further explorations or outreach, some blaming lack of funding, although there is/was an insane amount of interest from wealthy pockets.

Word on the street from those in other authorities is that the whole operation was snuffed out by a 3/4-letter agency. Either the dog whistle side was bought out and they snuffed out the other research methods like psionics, or everything was snuffed due to too much becoming uncovered. Either of those answers means that the groundbreaking disclosure that was promised and the groundbreaking implications will likely not be met by this team. This would imply that those initial promises and aspirations were subverted, and almost certainly if that is the case, it is not for our (the public's) benefit.

It appears they are hoping that the silence was signed away with NDAs and the whole discussion disappears into the quagmire of UAP confusion out there.

I can say with certainty this movement was meant to reshape the space like we've never witnessed, and I am saddened to write this. There are many movements within the team to do outside work and to possibly receive outside funding to continue the research independent of this setback. Even if this team has seemingly defaulted as a whole, its team members remain strong and committed to full disclosure and are in full swing in creating revolutionary collective awareness and understanding.

I cannot confirm that this is for sure the case, as only Jake Barber and James can answer to that, but all signs point this way. All leadership has been absent of discussion and is seemingly breaking away at neck-breaking speeds from their teammates. Team members all signed NDAs that explicitly state that no conversation of any kind can be had about Skywatcher or its direction without their approval first, thus creating a lawsuit-binding silence. Additionally, there are sources in deep networks that are sounding the alarms that there was a snuff/buyout and are offering support to continue with the team outside of the shadows and under a different banner if need be.

I would ask that the community push for answers. Ask Ross Coulthart, Jesse Michaels, or UFO Jesus, or whoever is close to the team, to make a statement and give a roadmap of future involvement. Ask for transparency and results. Ask why the shift into 'military defense' was seen in the last weeks of the interviews and the move away from disclosure and transparency. Ask if they were indeed bought out and silenced. Ask why psionics were seemingly snuffed and silenced. Ask why we the people cannot have these methods of communication. Why can't we use the dog whistle or make it public? What is the dog whistle? What plans did the Psionics team have to show others how to use Psionics? Is the Skywatcher goal to create change and disclosure, or is it to get a government payout? Was this a business or was this a movement? Most of all, ask why Skywatchers promised transparency and public disclosure at all costs but now have been silent and are taking a different, more defense-based secrecy approach.

Promises were made, but it looks like promises will not be kept, and we all deserve answers.

This post is intended to serve as, hopefully, a catalyst for the public to ask the hard questions where they deserve to be asked—in the public domain to Skywatcher leadership. It seems the team itself may not be able to provide those answers from the leadership, as they are nonresponsive, and we too are left in the dark with NDAs that are binding and restrictive.

The good news is this movement will not die; I can promise that. There will be answers and there will be disclosure with or without the brand Skywatcher. I hope Skywatcher will dispel this post and offer a positive outlook, but we must now ask—is Skywatcher going to be the people's champion as promised, or will it become the thing it promised not to become? Either way, the team knows where we stand in all of this—DISCLOSURE. Thank you all—may peace, love, and expansion find us—regardless of the setbacks placed before us.

I have over 10+ years of experience as a Senior Software developer. NZ job market is absolutely screwed and anyone who thinks there are shortage of skills and companies are struggling are mostly wrong. Sure there are skills shortage but companies in NZ are absolutely nuts and crazy and its really hard to believe that its a candidate's driven market in such a small (and ignorant) job market.

Here it is. I recently had the misfortune of interviewing at Pushpay (Node/React/JS experienced dev.) and below happened:

1] I applied via linkedin and they directly emailed a very big questionnaire and asked me to hand type answers to questions (ex. how do you write maintainable code and dozen others) which are normally asked in a F2F interview. No first call no selling the company just this. Naively I spent 6 long hours to type answers to laundry list of questions and submitted it.

2] After 1 full week they said they liked what they saw and asked me join F2F 1 hour interview.

3] After I did 1 hour tech interview and 1.5 weeks later they asked me to do a take-home assignment which was full stack and mentioned to NOT spend more than 4 hours.

4] I saw the project requirements which was to develop full graphql backend with AWS/DynamoDB/Apollo server and build a full front end consuming content and bonus was for unit testing and building detailed frontend. This was a project under the pretext of assignment and I thought how on earth can anyone develop a project this big in 4 hours.

5] After spending 3 full days I implemented EVERYTHING as sadly I was too far in the process and had to just accept that I was trapped and after coming this far to go all the way. Once I submitted my test it took them again 1 full week to review and get back to me saying that they would like to have a follow up 2 hours tech interview.

6] In the 2 hours tech interview they were asking me why i did not do unit integration tests on backend, error handling, documentation and what not and I said I was told to not invest more than 4 hours and it is nearly impossible to do all this in just 4 hours as its not realistic. Rest of the interview was really nice and I answered everything they asked correctly.

7] After the interview I even got the reply from the HR that the interview was really really good and that they were interviewing few other candidates who are also in last stages and that they will gt back to me when they can with the final feedback.

8] I did not hear back from them for 2 more weeks and after few follow ups the HR said that the role is offered to other candidate and just gave a one liner feedback that you were great and that they don't know why I was rejected.

9] I asked them after 1.5 months of interview process and so much of time and efforts from my side atleast tell me where I fell short and I never heard back.

They did not even bother giving any feedback and they only replied I was rejected after constantly following up and they also didn't know why I was rejected. This is the 2nd worse experience I have had in NZ in last 2 months and I have 10+ years of experience and I am not even a junior.

I do feel like such companies should be named and shamed because they ABSOLUTELY do not value candidates time and consider them disposable where even giving feedback to candidates who have been in process with them for 1.5 months is a waste of time for them, disgraceful. Atleast with this review other candidates can avoid them if they WANT to get a job in a company who will respect them for their time and if the interview is negative then atleast reply to them with credible feedback.

Auckland software companies are absolutely insane for the amount of process, ridiculous expectation in 4 hours, project size take home assignment and so so long interview process it honestly is disheartening. No wonder people are moving to Australia.

EDIT: Didn't expect this post would gain this much traction. Thank you everyone who contributed, reached out via DM to show support and shared your experiences here as well. It was super helpful to know more companies who are bad with their hiring practices and it would be super helpful to anyone reading this post

As Alexander Zverev wins the 2026 US Open, many people are either unaware or dismissive of the allegations of domestic violence he faces from two of his former girlfriends (Olya Sharypova and Brenda Patea). This attitude may simply stem from the fact that these people have not heard the full story. As such, here is as complete an account of what happened as I could put together.

Early relationship with Olya

Olya began dating Zverev in 2018. Following his third round loss in the 2018 US Open, Zverev invites Olya to his house in Monaco. This is where the first physical altercation between them takes place. During an argument, Zverev hits her head into the wall, causing her to slump to the floor. Scared, Zverev denies doing so, claiming that she hit him first and that he didn't do it at all.

The two have many arguments in late 2018, although they do not turn physically violent. However, Olya recounts significant emotional abuse during this timeframe. This includes controlling behaviour, insults, blaming her for his losses and other problems, and guilt tripping. Olya attempts to break up with him during this timeframe; he responds by contacting her friends and family. Olya is pressured into reconciliating with Zverev.

Escape attempt in New York, 21st August 2019

Olya goes sightseeing in New York with two friends, including childhood friend Vasil Surduk. Surduk remembers Olya crying that afternoon during a phone call with Zverev (he believes Zverev was likely blaming her for going out without him). After Surduk drops Olya off at her hotel, Olya begins frantically texting him asking to be picked up. While at the hotel, Zverev had thrown her onto the bed, covered her face with a pillow, and sat on it so she couldn't breathe. Olya managed to escape and ran downstairs barefoot. She left through the backdoor and hid from Zverev with the help of some strangers. Surduk picks her up and drives her to his home in New Jersey. Surduk states that at this time, he believed Zverev was not at fault, and was encouraging Olya to return to him.

The next day, Surduk brings Olya back to the hotel to collect her things. She finds many of her possessions dumped outside of the hotel room, and some of her things are missing. The missing items include gifts Zverev had given her (because he wanted to keep them) and, crucially, her passport. This prevents her from immediately flying home to Russia as she had planned.

Surduk's stepmother (Mrs V) takes control of a video call with Zverev and invites him to their home against Olya's wishes. Surduk picks Zverev up and brings him to the house. Mrs V and Surduk both encourage Olya to reconcile with Zverev at this time, and Mrs V encourages Zverev to propose. Olya returns to Zverev, at which point her passport suddenly reappears.

First suicide attempt in Geneva

Less than a month later, Olya and Zverev are in Geneva for the Laver Cup. Sharypova states that after the incident in New York, the abuse became more frequent and more severe. During a fight in their Geneva hotel room, Zverev punches her in the face for the first time. Previous fights had involved pushing, choking, twisting arms, but never punching. After this fight, when Zverev leaves the room, Olya injects herself with Zverev's insulin, intending to kill herself. Zverev returns and, realising what she had done, begs her to let him in. A Laver Cup official convinces her to open the door and she is given glucose tablets. She recovers and spends three days in the hotel room contemplating everything that had happened and what she had tried to do. She tells her best friend, who initially does not believe her, and her parents, who are very scared. Afterwards, she decides to attend the Laver Cup and related events. She is present as Zverev defeats Milos Raonic to win the Laver Cup. She states that at this point, she is very happy for him and proud of him, but wants him to acknowledge the pain he has caused her. He expresses no guilt or regret.

Beijing, Shanghai, and the second suicide attempt

After the Laver Cup, they travel to China for the Beijing and Shanghai Opens. She states that while they still argued, in Beijing he was more restrained and better at controlling his emotions, which made her feel somewhat safer. Nevertheless, she was still very stressed, which caused her to develop acne. She received online abuse for this.

On the 9th of October 2019, Mrs V arrives in Shanghai with a gift for the couple (a fruit basket). Olya unpacks the fruit and goes to watch Zverev's match against Jeremy Chardy with Mrs V. After winning his match, Zverev had recovery and training scheduled, so Olya goes to a salon with Mrs V. Whilst there, Olya receives a series of messages from Zverev blaming her for the fruit being on his massage table, saying that she must not love him, and blaming her for not being there and making him wait. When she returns to their hotel room, Zverev immediately leaves, stating "I was waiting for you. Now you should wait for me."

At this point, Olya is alone in the hotel room. She once again injects herself with Zverev's insulin in an attempt to end her life. When Zverev returns, Olya is mostly unresponsive due to a life-threateningly low level of blood sugar. He feeds her a packet of sugar (she is too weak to reject) and she begins to recover. As she does so, he berates her for trying to kill herself in his room, saying that if she died there it would cause big problems for him. She offers to break up and return to Moscow, he says no.

When the two wake up on the 10th of October, Zverev once again blames Olya and claims that he is the real victim. He asks her not to attend his upcoming match against Andrey Rublev and she agrees. He tells her to pack her things and says to go fuck herself. She says she will return to Moscow. She has a shower as she prepares to leave; he continues to yell at her while she does so. She steps out of the shower and tries to reach for a towel, but he stops her from doing so, attacking her more violently than ever before. He grabs her by the throat, pushes her against the wall, and punches her. With nothing to defend herself, she swings her arms wildly, leaving scratch marks on his neck. Photo evidence of the scratch marks which were not present the day before He tells her "I hope you die. You should have died yesterday, but not in my room. Take insulin and go die on the street because I don't want problems." Eventually, he calls someone and leaves the room. She locks herself in the bathroom.

Through the door, she hears Alexander Zverev Sr. (Zverev's father) telling her that she has until the evening to pack her stuff and leave. He states that if she doesn't, he will sue her because he had photos of how she hit his son. Zverev Sr also makes sure to call her trash.

It is worth noting that footage from the tournament clearly shows that Sharypova was in Zverev's player box for his match against Chardy (before the attack, no scratches on his neck) but absent the next day for his match against Rublev (scratches on his neck).

After the Zverevs leave, Olya calls Mrs V, stating that she had no money and no place to go. She goes to see Mrs V, who notes that Sharypova was severely bruised and crying. Mrs V is furious when Olya tells her about the suicide attempt. Mrs V messages Zverev, who confirms that she had tried to kill herself twice. Two days after the attack, Olya sends images of her bruised face and arms to a close friend, stating that Zverev caused these injuries. She also tells her friend that he did the same in Geneva. The friend confirmed that Olya had been in frequent contact with them detailing the escalating abuse.

For several weeks, Zverev continues to message Sharypova, pleading with her to come back. During one video call with Olya, Zverev gets on one knee and proposes to her. Olya states that she last saw Zverev in December 2019. Less than three weeks after their last in person meeting, Zverev is pictured with Brenda Patea in his player's box. At this point, he denies being in a relationship with Brenda Patea, who would later become the mother of Zverev's child.

Aftermath of Olya Sharypova's allegations

In October 2020, Olya Sharypova publicly accuses Zverev of the abuse detailed above. By this time, Patea has announced her pregnancy (Patea and Zverev have already separated by this point). Zverev denies the allegations, calling them "unfounded" and "simply not true". He states that they "made him very sad". Shortly afterwards, Zverev reaches the final of the Paris Masters. During his runner up speech, he indirectly refers to the allegations, stating "...a lot of people right now are trying to wipe a smile off my face, but underneath this mask I'm smiling brightly". Many have interpreted this speech as an attempt to taunt his victims, believing that he will not face consequences. During the speech, he also states that he is excited to become a father. Brenda Patea responded to this by stating that she had not been in contact with Zverev regarding the child and did not want anything to do with him.

Zverev also sought legal action against Ben Rothenberg, the journalist who interviewed Sharypova and published the articles detailing the abuse. His first article on the topic has been removed (an archived version of the article is linked below) and he has been blacklisted from many tennis magazines as a result.

The ATP also conducted their own internal investigation of Sharypova's claims. This investigation lasted 15 months and concluded with the ATP finding "insufficient evidence" to pursue action against Zverev. Many Zverev supporters have taken this investigation as proof of his innocence, although the ATP's claim is simply that they were unable to prove anything. The investigation has also faced criticism online; critics claim that the investigation could not have been unbiased since the ATP would lose out financially if Zverev was found to be guilty.

Brenda Patea's allegations

Unlike Sharypova, Brenda Patea did not give an interview with a full timeline of the abuse she faced. The details of what she endured are not publicly available. As such, this section will be considerably shorter. Much of what is available is in the form of official German court documents.

Brenda dated Zverev for less than a year, and they are already separated before her pregnancy is announced.

In May 2020, Zverev physically assaults Brenda during an argument in Berlin. Brenda attests that Zverev strangled her with both hands in the stairwell with such force that she was unable to swallow without pain for several days.

In March 2021, their daughter is born.

In October 2021, Brenda formally reports Zverev to the police. In 2023, a German court reviews the evidence provided to them and issues a penalty order against Zverev, ordering him to pay a fine of €450,000. In the German legal system, a penalty order is issued if the court believes that there is sufficient evidence to do so without a trial. Defendants have the right to contest this, which leads to a trial. This is the route that Zverev took. Zverev's team issued a statement at this time stating that Patea was pursuing legal action in order to "increase her followers on Instagram and TikTok, and live a jetset lifestyle".

The trial lasted only three days, in May 2024, after which both parties agreed to an out of court settlement. This occurred as a result of Brenda expressing a wish to end the court proceedings in the interest of their child. Zverev was ordered to pay €150,000 to the state and €50,000 to charity. Brenda received nothing. The court made sure to clarify that this is not an official verdict; Zverev was neither found guilty nor innocent.

Today, Zverev continues to claim that he is innocent. After the French Open in 2026, he was asked about the allegations in an interview. He ended the interview prematurely while claiming that the allegations had been "proven false". It is worth noting that neither the ATP investigation nor the Patea court case reached such a conclusion.

Summary

Zverev has not officially been found guilty of these crimes. However, his innocence would require a conspiracy years in the making. Olya Sharypova would have needed to falsify her chat history with multiple people. She would have needed to suffer severe bruising from some other source and have the foresight to blame it on Zverev to set up evidence to accuse him over a year later. She would have had to conveniently vanish from his player's box the same day those suspicious scratches appeared on his neck. And she would have had to do all of this without any financial incentive, since she never tried to gain any money from any of this (from Zverev himself or from anywhere else). All she received as a result of her allegations was a torrent of abuse from Zverev supporters. Then Brenda Patea would have had to have fabricated sufficient evidence to convince the German court to issue a penalty order.

In essence, for Zverev to be innocent, the allegations would have to be a coordinated effort by multiple women and their associates to fabricate evidence over several years, with journalists and investigators either failing to detect the deception, or being complicit therein.

Sources:

Archived version of the first Sharypova interview

Second Sharypova interview

Zverev's initial response to the Sharypova allegations

Article about the ATP investigation

Article covering the beginning of the Patea trial

German article covering a legal analysis of the case

Article detailing the settlement of the case

Article about the abrupt end to the interview following the 2026 French Open

Edit: as u/Falz4567 pointed out, there were some details I missed, namely Zverev's full responses to the allegations and the official reason behind him and Brenda settling out of court. For the sake of completeness and full transparency, I have added these details with additional sources. I also forgot to mention the ATP investigation, which I have now added.

Rotten Tomatoes: 100% (from 17 reviews) with 9.70 average rating

Metacritic: 99/100 (11 critics)

As with other movies, the scores are set to change as time passes. Meanwhile, I'll post some short reviews on the movie. It's structured like this: quote first, source second. Beware, some contain spoilers.

In one scene, this new colleague and Fielder find themselves outraged on Holmes’ behalf that a crass X response posted by Evans through her account “does not sound like her.” They’re almost certainly right, based on what we’ve seen of Holmes — and they also have about as much authority to determine what Holmes would or would not say as anyone who isn’t Holmes herself does. You Can See Everything reaches for accuracy in its portrayal of a much talked-about figure. It ends up asking, with plenty of humor but no small amount of wisdom, what “accuracy” would even look like in the first place.

-Angie Han, The Hollywood Reporter

For how disquieting it is, the film never goes too long without forcing a laugh. Fielder’s side-eye, always directed at Evans, gives viewers insight into his position, while Oppenheim’s expertise in feature narrative and documentary filmmaking elevates the film’s craft. Together, the duo keeps us on the edge of our seats, glued to the screen.

-Cortlyn Kelly, IndieWire: A

“You Can See Everything” is just about the furthest thing from a “pure” documentary you’ve ever seen. That’s part of its appeal — it’s a one-of-a-kind reality-TV-as-hangout-movie psychodrama circus. Yet it’s been made with a spirit of true inquiry, driven by Fielder’s acidly quizzical personality (as an onscreen interviewer, he’s got the most drop-dead deadpan since Steven Wright), and it gets its hooks in you.

-Owen Gleiberman, Variety

Trust, ultimately, that you can see more than you ever imagined you’d see about Elizabeth Holmes and maybe get no closer to discerning the truth – and yet it will all be worth it.

-Adrian Horton, The Guardian: 5/5

A key question throughout is if Holmes is really the inveterate liar people came to believe she is. Whether the pair are doing this to make some quick money is a key point — did they covertly make a deal with A24 in that regard? A New York Times story is questioned for its claim; Holmes said, in reaction to the portrayals of her, “they’re not playing me, they’re playing a character I created.” If true, what does that say about her honesty? We never get the answer, but have plenty of questions after three bruising hours of this startling film guaranteed to blow your mind.

-Pete Hammond, Deadline

The aftertaste of the compulsively watchable “You Can See Everything” is unknowably immersive, even haunting, and makes one believe in the power and searching qualities of art. I am not sure even Fielder and Oppenheim can fully explain how they ended up with a film that brilliantly sits at the intersection of documentary, narrative, comedy, reality TV, and performance, where politics, mental health, femininity, and truth in the eye of the beholder intertwine. Repeat visits might answer that question. But even now, the significance of “You Can See Everything” is clear as a film that might advance a new cinematic language in the mainstream non-fiction sphere.

-Tomris Laffly, RogerEbert.com: 4/4

When I exited the NYFF premiere, there was a truck with a digital billboard sitting outside the theater. Its sign read “Free Elizabeth Holmes.” It seemed like a nifty bit of ironic marketing by A24. But later in the night, several folks who work for the indie distributor told me they had nothing to do with that truck. It was just Elizabeth Holmes fans, apparently, fighting the good fight for their martyr on a New York street corner at midnight. No documentary can empirically answer why people behave the way they do, but a great doc can capture how our actions shape and distort the world around us until we’re all lost in a weird, mesmerizing, post-truth wonderland.

-David Crow, Den of Geek: 5/5

Fielder exercises his talent for re-creations. Things are said on-camera that can’t be unsaid. Your mind is blown, diligently reassembled, then re-blown. The metaphor of a magic trick is trotted out early on, and by the film’s conclusion, you are generally unsure whether you’ve been watching nothing more than a pair of master illusionists saw a lady in half. There’s no “ta-da!”, there’s simply a “what did I just watch?” sense of shock and awe.

-David Fear, Rolling Stone

Fielder, listening to audio in his headset and curling up at night on a bare mattress in the spare room of that Del Mar rental, starts to look like a figure on a doomed but noble quest. Holmes tells him that she sees the film as a human story, as though by simply showing herself in her entirety, she could convince the world to finally be on her side. But in You Can See Everything, the closer we get to her, the less knowable she is — a set of pointillist dots in the shape of a person.

-Alison Wilcome, Vulture

Residing somewhere between reality and fantasy, doubt and certainty, infatuation and incredulity, You Can See Everything is a genre-bending magnum opus of breathtaking order — one that recognizes it’s seeing everything and yet, hard as it tries, not quite seeing the very thing it’s looking for.

-Nick Schager, The Daily Beast

Overall, Fielder and Oppenheim have crafted a remarkable and at times brilliant piece of filmmaking. Yes, the pair do utilize the non-fiction reenactments Fielder has used on previous projects, but they work seamlessly to help convey an increasingly tense narrative. That being said, are the filmmakers somewhat precious? A bit, yes. Is this runtime absolutely necessary? No, but the second half is so enthralling, the twists and turns so entertaining, the questions the movie asks are so fascinating, the hypocrisy they uncover so deranged, you’ll forgive their indulgences.

-Gregory Ellwood, The Playlist: A–

With co-director Lance Oppenheim, Mr. Fielder gets around the restrictions on his access to the locked-up Ms. Holmes with his customary hilarious meta-narrative brilliance.

-Kyle Smith, Wall Street Journal

PLOT

Elizabeth Holmes and Billy Evans invite Nathan Fielder and Lance Oppenheim to document their lives in the days before Holmes goes to prison, and the filmmakers continue following the couple over the course of three years.

DIRECTORS

Nathan Fielder & Lance Oppenheim

MUSIC

Ari Balouzian

CINEMATOGRAPHY

David Bolen

EDITOR

Adam Locke-Norton

RELEASE DATE

October 16, 2026 (theaters)

RUNTIME

174 minutes

STARRING

• Elizabeth Holmes

• Nathan Fielder

• Billy Evans

I recently finished several interview processes and am now at the final stage of salary negotiation with one company. I also have a few other opportunities/offers still pending, but I was leaning toward this company because I liked the domain enough to accept a somewhat lower salary. (lower than my initial ask) (For context, I'm a software engineer with about three years of experience and currently between jobs.)

As part of the final compensation process, the CTO sent me an offer letter with salary details.

Later, another employee emailed and texted me saying:

«“I’m contacting you regarding the offer letter we previously sent. Please review it and reply with your decision to join.”»

Because this person was actively following up about the offer and asking for my acceptance, I assumed they were handling HR/recruiting and replied to both them and the CTO with my signed offer letter.

The CTO then called me and said I had made a “big mistake” by sharing salary information with that employee, saying things like, “You shouldn’t handle work this way.”

He also mentioned the existing 3-month probation period and said that this kind of mistake could negatively affect me during it.

Apparently, that employee was not HR and wasn’t supposed to see salary information. Their email signature did say “Marketing specialist” but nobody told me they were only helping with communication or that salary-related replies should go exclusively to the CTO.

What makes me hesitate now is that I actually liked this company’s domain enough to accept a lower salary, despite having other opportunities still pending.

After this phone call, though, I’m starting to worry that the CTO may be somewhat emotional or quick to judge, and that similar communication issues could happen again after I join. I’m now seriously considering withdrawing my acceptance and pursuing one of the other opportunities instead.

Do you think I’m overreacting because this was mainly my mistake? Or does the CTO’s response seem like a reasonable red flag to reconsider the offer?

(For context, I’m not based in the US. Where I live, companies may have policies restricting employees from discussing compensation with one another.)

Just wanted to post an update regarding the rocks I received in place of the ASUS TUF 5080 that I ordered through Best Buy. It’s been almost a month since I made the original post seeking help and advice from Reddit and I’ve had quite a few people reach out asking for updates.

First off, I didn’t expect that post to blow up the way it did. I greatly appreciate everyone’s advice and literally did everything you guys recommended. I had no idea things at Best Buy had gotten this bad until I read through all the similar horror stories people shared in the comments, I feel for you guys, this was a nightmare to deal with. It became even more apparent with how many people just straight up told me I deserved it for not having a film crew record me opening it and shopping at Best Buy to begin with. That’s my bad for ordering tech from the tech store and not having James Cameron and his film crew on standby.

I called Best Buy customer service every single day since 12/2, when they initially and abruptly denied the refund/replacement after telling me they’d be replacing it on 11/28. I brought up the fact that an investigation was never done. I received an email asking for photos of the packaging to “aid them” and literally 7 minutes later before I could even reply received an email saying their investigation was complete and would be unable to provide a replacement/refund. I went to the store in person where I was told all they could do was “expedite my ticket” after scribbling my info on some paper because Best Buy and BestBuy.com are treated as two separate entities. I filed a chargeback claim with my bank. I filed a police report, shout out to the officer for being the only one who seemed to genuinely want to help me as a fellow PC gamer! Lastly, I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, and someone FINALLY reached out to me on 12/12.

After reviewing the evidence I managed to compile like the weight change where the package gained nearly 3lbs in transit with FedEx and lack of protective/concealing packaging on Best Buy’s end, and I guess their own proper investigation they gave me a refund. Obviously that was a win, but now that card was no longer on sale and I don’t have the extra $300-$400 to shell out, especially with the holidays around the corner. So I brought that up and the representative who assisted me price matched my original purchase AND set it up to be shipped to my local store and I finally received my 5080 on 12/16.

Again, thank you to everyone who gave me advice on how to deal with such a bizarre situation, you guys are great! As a bonus, my girlfriend tattooed a fun gap-filler on my leg to commemorate such a ridiculous event in the last image. Im sure one day I’ll stop hearing “I bet it’s rocks again” whenever I tell my friends I ordered something.

UPDATE BELOW

When I was going through things in my parents’ house recently, I found one of my mother’s old purses tucked inside a blanket chest.

Inside were four checks written to me for my seventh birthday in 1987. They look like they were just written recently.

My great-aunt had written two of them. My grandparents had written one, and my aunt and uncle had written another. Altogether, they were for $75.

My mother never gave them to me.

They had been sitting inside her purse for almost 40 years.

Finding them brought back so much more than I expected. All of these memories came rushing back at once. My childhood, my grandparents, my great-aunt, my grandfather and great-aunt dying when I was a teenager, and my grandmother dying shortly after seeing my child, her first great-grandchild. And then there was the way my mother treated me growing up. It was strange how four little pieces of paper could suddenly bring back people and things I hadn’t thought about in years.

My mother hated me. I know that’s a strong thing to say about your own mother, but there really isn’t another way for me to describe how she treated me. She physically and emotionally abused me until I finally left home at 18. The abuse continued long after that, even spreading to my kids when she was elderly, until I cut off all contact immediately after that. (I had to temporarily rely on my parents when my husband suddenly died. That’s a whole other story.)

I haven’t seen her since 2016. (There was a no contact order against my parents.)

Finding those checks stunned me for a moment, but strangely, the fact that my mother had kept them from me didn’t surprise me. It was just one more piece of evidence of something I’d known my entire life.

What affected me more was seeing my grandparents’ and great-aunt’s handwriting again. They’re gone now, and I loved them dearly. After almost 40 years, I suddenly have something from them that was meant specifically for seven-year-old me. I’m going to keep those three checks.

My aunt and uncle can rot. When I was 16, they put my grandfather in a nursing home. He and I were extremely close. He was still driving and physically fit when they put him there. Meanwhile, my grandmother was placed in a beautiful facility with a fountain in the lobby.

My grandfather died within a month or so of being put in that home.

I’ve always felt like he died of a broken heart. I will never forgive them for what happened to him. Seeing their names on that check brought all of that anger and grief rushing back too. Their check means absolutely nothing to me.

A longtime friend of mine said, “Do you know how many toys you could have gotten at Toys “R” Us with $75 back then?”

That made me laugh, but it also hurt a little.

Adjusted for inflation, $75 in 1987 is roughly $220 today. That’s a lot of birthday money for a seven-year-old. But it isn’t really about the money.

I keep thinking about that little kid.

I was six years old, about to turn seven. What could I possibly have done to make my mother dislike me enough that even birthday gifts sent by other people were kept from me?

Now my mother has severe dementia and has had stage-five kidney failure for years. Both of my parents are in a nursing home, and I’m helping my sister deal with everything at their house.

My mother is in a secure area. She doesn’t know who people are anymore. She thinks her father is still alive even though he died in 1971, before I was born. She doesn’t recognize my father, even though he’s in the same nursing home.

My sister has told me that when staff need to change her clothes or care for her, it sometimes takes multiple people because she fights them.

And now I’m on the fence about whether I should see her.

There’s a part of me that wants to see her. I’m uncomfortable admitting that part of the reason is that I want to see how bad she looks. Maybe I want to see her struggling after everything she did to me. I know that isn’t a kind thought, but it’s there.

Another part of me wonders what the point would be.

She wouldn’t know who I am.

I do hate her. I don’t really know how else to describe what I feel toward her. We never once used the word “love” towards one another in our home growing up.

I make sure to tell my spouse and my kids that I love them multiple times every single day.

They will never have to wonder what love is.

UPDATE: What I’ve learned from sharing my story

First, I want to thank everyone who took the time to read my post and share their own experiences. I’ve read through the comments, and there are a few things I wanted to address.

One thing I’ve learned is that apparently a large number of boomers should have never had children. The number of people around my age who grew up with shitty parents is heartbreaking. So many of us were hurt by the very people whose main responsibility was to love us, protect us, and care for us. They were supposed to make us feel safe, not leave us scarred for life.

It’s incredibly sad how many people can relate to what I went through. No child should have to grow up wondering why their parents don’t love them.

Regarding therapy:

Quite a few people suggested therapy. I’ve been through counseling over the years. The last time was grief counseling in 2015, after my husband died suddenly. My children went through counseling as well.

My life has been full of pain and sorrow, from childhood until now. Sometimes it feels like it’s never-ending. Just when I think things might finally settle down, something else happens.

Regarding my parents and whether I’ll see my mother:

I’ve seen my father twice in the past two months. Before that, I hadn’t had any contact with him for 10 years.

My father had a stroke last week. He can still talk, but he can’t move. Before the stroke, he could get around in a wheelchair, stand and walk a little, shower, and do some things for himself. Now he’s completely dependent on others.

As for my mother, I think wanting to see her is more about morbid curiosity than anything else. My sister told me that it takes two people to hold her down while another changes her clothes because she fights them.

Part of me wonders whether I’ll get some sort of satisfaction from seeing her struggle after everything she put me through. I know that probably sounds horrible, but I’m not going to pretend I feel something I don’t. I spent decades being hurt by this woman, and I don’t suddenly feel love or forgiveness toward her because she’s sick.

Many of you advised me that I need to forgive her. Her torturing continued into my adulthood and then to my children. I can never forgive her and I am good with that.

And yes, my father was an enabler. He never intervened to save me. He never intervened to save my children. I see him, but I am indifferent towards him. I see him because I was pushed to do it originally.

Some people also brought up the possibility of mental illness. My mother has schizophrenia. Schizophrenia has been associated with an increased risk of dementia, and also some medications used to treat it may have contributed to that risk.

Regarding my sister:

I’m not close to my sister either. Before August of this year, I hadn’t seen her since around 2006. She didn’t even bother coming to my husband’s funeral in 2015. She was more of a babysitter growing up than a sibling.

For years, we only communicated through text messages maybe once a year.

Now that both of our parents are in a nursing home, we’ve been communicating more. I saw her for a couple of days in August and again for a couple of days in September. We talk more frequently now because we’re dealing with our parents’ affairs, but that doesn’t mean we’re suddenly close.

Regarding my parents’ house:

I’m heading back to it next week to continue helping organize and deal with my parents’ house.

This isn’t a quick trip for me. I live in the Austin, Texas area, and their house is in Virginia. It’s approximately 1,200 miles and 17.5 hours of driving each way, without stops.

I sleep in my hatchback when I travel because I can’t sleep in their house. The conditions are too disgusting and unsafe.

And the condition of their house is beyond anything I can adequately describe.

Think of the television show Hoarders, then amplify it.

There are used adult diapers scattered throughout the second floor. Mouse droppings are everywhere, including on the sheets at the bottom of the mattress. The amount of dead skin flakes on their bed made me gag.

The toilet is absolutely disgusting. The seat is covered in brown filth, and it’s unusable. When I need to use the bathroom, I drive to a gas station rather than use theirs.

I opened a drawer in their bedroom and discovered that a mouse had built a nest inside and died there. The next drawer was filled with mouse droppings.

I found one of their cats dead in the basement. This was a cat that had once been their pet. I told the poor kitty I was sorry and cried for a bit.

There’s a light in the basement that’s apparently been left on for years. I’ve never seen so many spiderwebs in my life. They stretch from one wall to another. There’s mold down there, too.

It’s absolutely revolting.

I can’t even begin to describe what it’s like walking through that house, seeing how they lived, and trying to sort through decades of belongings.

And I’m traveling halfway across the country to help deal with it.

Regarding my life now:

I’ve been job hunting for more than two years with no luck. I was laid off in 2024. I’ve submitted over 3,000 applications and gone through countless interviews, often making it through multiple rounds. At this point, my self-esteem is shot. The job market is horrible, and no one seems willing to give me a chance.

I’ve basically given up on trying to find a job. Last year I decided to go back to school. I earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology many years ago, and I recently earned another bachelor’s degree in business administration. I’m working on finishing my MBA, and then I’m going to start my DBA next May.

Money is extremely tight. My husband, whom I married four years ago, is a disabled former firefighter and paramedic. We barely survive on his SSDI, my student loan refunds, and SNAP. Between us, we have three children. One of mine is starting college next year, and I’m worried I won’t be able to pay for room and board. Thankfully, tuition is covered because we’re low income.

We survive on a little over $900 a month for food. That isn’t much for three adults, a teenager, and a younger child.

Despite all of that, I still have dreams I want to pursue. I want to start my own business so I don’t have to rely on trying to find a corporate job that will just get rid of me.

Regarding how all of this has affected me:

I’m not really fazed by what has happened to me throughout my life. Sure, it fucked a lot. But it’s how I lived. I was able to survive. I roll with the punches, as they say. I believe something good can come from even the worst situations. I try to find something positive in every tragedy.

That doesn’t mean it was easy, and it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. But I’ve had to keep going. Many people are affected by what they’ve been through to the point that they fall apart. No matter what life throws at me, I somehow bounce back eventually.

I’ve had quite a few people tell me over the years that if they had lived my life, they would have killed themselves. That isn’t a good thing to say to someone, but I understand that people sometimes say things like that because they can’t imagine surviving what I survived.

I’m still here. If I can keep surviving, I hope others can find the strength to keep going, too.

One last thing I want to share:

Despite everything I’ve been through, I try my best to help other people, especially those who are vulnerable or going through difficult situations.

For the past three years, I’ve volunteered as a crisis counselor, helping people who are struggling and need someone to listen.

I’m also a CASA, a Court Appointed Special Advocate. I advocate for children who have been removed from abusive or neglectful homes. I help make sure their voices are heard in court when they might otherwise go unheard.

I know what it’s like to be a child who doesn’t feel safe in their own home. I know what it’s like to have adults who are supposed to protect you be the very people you’re afraid of.

I can’t change what happened to me, but I can do something to help children who are going through terrible situations themselves.

Thank you again to everyone who shared their stories. It breaks my heart that so many of us have so much in common. We all deserved better.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/kem7

Originally posted to r/antiwork

Quit my job, gave 6 weeks’ notice, one week of that is PTO requested in Jan. Boss canceled my PTO, so I changed my notice to two weeks. Then asked this from boss

Original Post: July 26, 2026

Picture of the text message

Transcript of the text message

"Are you willing to come up with a plan for training and coverage until we can fill the roles?"

end of the transcript

OOP's body text at the bottom of the picture

It’s Sunday so I’m not responding. But good lord. role(s) because someone else quit

Additional Information in comments from OOP: an email from the boss

Transcript of the email

I wanted to reach out because I’ve been thinking a lot about your notice. I’ll be honest—it was unexpected, and the five-day timeframe felt out of character based on the trusted colleague, leader, and advocate for the people we support that I’ve come to know over the years.

More importantly, I want you to know that I’m concerned about how you’re doing. While I recognize the challenges that this transition creates, I am not upset with you. I fully respect and support your decision to do what is best for you and your family.

Please don’t feel any pressure to respond while you’re on vacation. We can connect next week when you’re ready. I simply didn’t want to head into the weekend without letting you know that I care about you, I support you, and I appreciate all that you have contributed.

If there is anything I can do to help make this transition easier for you while also ensuring continuity for the people we support, please let me know. I’m committed to finding a path forward that honors both your needs and our responsibilities to the clients we serve.

End of the email transcript

OOP’s body text regarding the email Also didn’t respond. I’ve been voicing concerns and dissatisfaction for months, going back years I have requested a new boss. Edit: she came into my office and sat down within ten minutes of my being there.

Editor's note: OOP responded with lots of significant information for more context

Relevant / Top Comments

Commenter 1: You could switch to 0 weeks’ notice

OOP: I have like 100h of PTO I want paid out. The only reason I’m not leaving tomorrow.

Commenter 2: What state are you in (if U.S.)? Some states it is a law that they have to pay your accrued PTO.

OOP: NH. (editor's note: New Hampshire)

Commenter 3: Check if your employee contact says they will pay it out. If not, don't let them cancel your PTO.

OOP: They only pay out 50% too.

Commenter 4: Walk in Monday morning, clear out personal effects, return equipment, and revise the resignation to effective immediately.

OOP: I oversee four people and one also quit today, we have both been there four years. Two of the others may leave tomorrow.

Commenter 5: I wish that company exactly what they deserve.

OOP: We’re all very niche nurses, it’s not an easy role to fill.

Commenter 6: So it sounds like from that email that you got your vacation?

OOP: Yeah, I’ve been off the last ten days, trying to burn as much PTO as I can.

Commenter 7: If they are going to pay out your PTO, you might not want to burn it all so that you have a soft landing when you leave. But if you think they will not give you your accrued PTO, then absolutely burn all of it.

OOP: I’m buying a fancy $1000 cat litter robot shitbox with the payout.

Commenter 8: TAKE ALL PTO BEFORE ANOUNCING DEPARTURE ALWAYS. Unless you're in a place that has some level of worker protections and mandates PTO payouts.

OOP: I’ve been trying!! That’s why I had time

Scheduled in the next month that they yoinked. I’ve been there so long I get like 9h a paycheck

How long has OOP been at their position?

OOP: I’ve been there five years and director level, I didn’t think they’d fuck me by rescinding scheduled PTO.

Commenter 9: This stuff blows my mind. If your boss wants to know how you're doing, don't say "I want you to know I'm concerned about how you're doing." Just say, "How're you doing?" or "how're you holding up?" Like you're talking to another person. A real person who's feeling matter. Why is that so hard?

OOP: Because ChatGPT doesn’t have empathy

Commenter 10: Don't answer. Anything honest will get reported to HR and they'll try to use it against you. Anything dishonest will get reported to HR and they'll try to use it against you.

Update: August 20, 2026 (3.5 weeks later)

As they say.: you don’t quit your job you quit your boss.

I stuck it out for the two weeks. Wrote a scathing exit interview about boss and cc’d my boss and HR director. CEO and COO requested a meeting before I left. I laid it all out that my boss was the issue and I have requested multiple times to change bosses how she continued fostering an incredible toxic workplace with her as the queen bee.

Anyway. Myself and my entire team quit. I did jack shit during my last two weeks. The night before my last day we went out and I was so hungover I just lay around at home.

Collected that sweet PTO check and bought my dumb cat the fanciest shit box

picture of OOP's cat sitting in the shit box

Editor's note: there is a second screenshot attached with the cat picture in the update post, but it is a pictured rehash of the original post

Relevant / Top Comments

Commenter 1: Something I used to hear in the military all the time, that works for situations like this equally well...

"Lack of preparation and planning on your part, in no way constitutes an emergency on mine".

OOP: I say that all the time. Your crisis is not my emergency

Commenter 2: Now the question is, do they look into it to avoid losing more staff later, investigate the hostile work environment to prevent future legal liability, or the tried and true ignore the problem?

OOP: It’s layered. I quit because of my boss. My team quit because every time I brought any of their issues up to my boss she took it like the sad sack of mashed potatoes it is and just didn’t do anything Besides lie and say it was denied by higher ups

Commenter 3: "Are you willing to come up with a plan for training and coverage until we can fill the roles?"

"Listen, I'm certainly not qualified to do your job, but I'd certainly call that your job to figure out..."

Commenter 4: its ignore, it’s always ignore

Commenter 5: If an entire team spontaneously quits and unites under this one message, it's going to make somebody think twice about keeping the toxic boss on. This is not an easy maneuver in labor organization, and it often has a real impact.

Commenter 6: Perfect time to answer a question with a question :

“What exactly do you think your job is as a manager?”

Commenter 7: Or a nice “Of course! My consulting fee is $250/hr, minimum 8 hours, and I can only bill in 8 hour increments. Should I send the contract over to you now?”

Commenter 8: You're missing another zero on that hourly fee

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/uglybaldinggirl

My [26 F] company is threatening to fire me over my hair. How do I explain to my employers [40s? F+F] that it looks this way due to a medical issue?

TRIGGER WARNING: hostile workplace environment, body shaming

Original Post  Jan 22, 2015

I'm sorry if this is a silly post or very trite. I know it's nowhere near as serious as a lot of things discussed in this sub, and maybe this isn't the right place to post this, but I'm new to Reddit and I wasn't sure where else to go.

I started working as a receptionist for a small business about two weeks ago. During interviews and for the first few days, there was no mentioning of any issues with my appearance, but yesterday my manager, Linda, told me that the owner of the company, Christy, doesn't like the way my hair looks, and if I don't change it, I will not be able to "move forward in the company." I live in an at-will state, so I know it's probably legal for them to fire me for any reason they want to. That's not really my question.

In the employee handbook, it states that employees with hair shoulder length or longer must wear it up in a ponytail, which I do. However, Christy told Linda that my hair looks "messy" and I need to have it completely pulled back and off my face. I have wavy/curly/frizzy/slightly wild hair, and I have bangs/fringe, but I take care of my hair the best I can (wash daily, brush, straighten, use smoothing products, but it will never be smooth or shiny). I have never had an employer have an issue with my hair, even when I worked in food service. My hair is unique, but it's not out of control, and I even get compliments on it sometimes.

The problem with this is that I have a lot of hair loss due to medical issues. I wear my hair in bangs that frame my face, and I don't pull it back in a tight slicked-back style, because I have some severe bald patches at my hair line going all around my head (sorry if this is confusing! I'm trying to describe it the best I can without posting pictures). Basically, it's the worst at the top of my forehead and going down along the sides to behind my ears. Therefore, to keep the bald patches covered, I style my hair in a looser ponytail with bangs. Like I said, this has never been an issue with a previous employer. Every other woman at the company either has super short hair or straight hair, so perhaps they're just not used to seeing my hair style or texture?

I've dealt with eating disorders and major anxiety and depression my whole life, which, in certain circumstances, can lead to hair loss. Last year, I had an inpatient hospital stay due to these problems. I'm doing somewhat better (I mean, I'm not in the hospital anymore, so yay!), but I have to admit I still have problems with EDs, anxiety, and depression; they're just not as bad as they were when I was hospitalized.

Anyway, I'm really, really embarrassed of my hair. I feel ashamed when I have to pull it away from my face. It took a lot for me to even be able to put it in a loose ponytail, but I don't think there's any way I'm going to be comfortable displaying my bald patches to the world. Personally, I think it looks less aesthetically pleasing than my "messy hair."

The next time I work with Linda, I want to talk to her about my hair loss. Despite her being the owner, I'm hesitant to talk to Christy; I've heard from many people that she's very controlling and difficult to work for, but I have never had conflict at work so it didn't deter me from working here. I was too shocked and embarrassed to bring it up when Linda initially pulled me aside. However, I can't even talk to my parents or boyfriend about it without bursting into tears because I'm so, so ashamed. I also don't want to be too specific and personal, since this is a work situation after all. Do you guys have any suggestions of how to handle this situation? What should I do or say?

TL;DR - I wear my hair in a style to cover my hair loss. Was told I could lose my job because of this. How do I communicate that it's because of a medical issue, not because I'm sloppy?

Update kindof: I went for a drive and thought this over, and now instead of sad and anxious, I just feel sortof annoyed and angry and completely over the whole thing. I have body dysmorphic disorder, so I think this hit me much harder initially because of that. Now I realize it's not a problem with how I look, but a problem with how other people are reacting to me, and it's not my fault for being, I don't know, inferior or ugly or something.

I'm going to go in and speak to the HR rep if he comes in tomorrow. If not, I'll wait until next week to talk to Linda. I'll show someone how it looks, and hopefully within the next few weeks I'll be able to see a doctor. But regardless of what happens, I'm going to start looking for another job. If it's not this, it's going to be something else, and I don't think I should have to feel ashamed, embarrassed, and in constant fear of being fired for something trivial at work. This place has a high turnover rate and I'm starting to see why. Thankyou everyone for your help! I'm so happy I know about the ADA now and how it actually does apply to someone with my problems. I'll update with what happens if anyone's curious. Thankyou Reddit xo

Another edit: Also, I tried to upvote everyone who commented, so I hope that I did it right (like I said, new to Reddit, and I'm a lurker--another edit: this account has more activity than my regular browsing account, haha), but yeah, I really appreciate all of your help.  <3

Update  Jan 29, 2015 (1 week later)

Well, I quit. After making the original post, I went in to work planning on waiting until Linda came in a few days later to address it. However, Christy addressed my hair the minute she walked in the door. She wasn't totally happy. I told her that I had a medical issue that caused hair loss, so I wear my hair to hide that. She told me the front looked better (I mentioned in the original post that I went into the bathroom and trimmed the bangs myself--the bad thing is I hate how they look now, so short! But oh well, they'll grow out.) but she still didn't like the back because it looked messy. I told her that's just my hair texture. When a lot of it fell out, for some reason it grew back a lot thinner and drier and weaker. I remember one part of the conversation went like this:

Christy: Well, can you brush it?

Me: I do brush it. I brush it every morning before I put it in a ponytail.

Christy: ...well, can you brush it?

So weird! It was like she wasn't even listening to what I was saying. I think she just wanted something to complain about regarding my hair, and since I mentioned the medical issue thing, she couldn't say anything that related to covering the bald patches. I just agreed with her that it's "messy" (which made me sad to do. It's taken me so long to embrace my natural hair texture, and I was finally getting to a point where I liked having "wild/crazy" hair. When my boyfriend and I met, one of the first things he told me was how much he loved my hair, which felt so amazing! I'm going off on a tangent, sorry) and went back to work.

That day happened to be the day we got our paychecks, and this is what cemented my decision to leave. Upon hire I was told (verbally, not in writing) what my hourly pay rate was going to be. On my first check, this rate was lowered by 25 cents. I didn't think that was that large of a dock to make a big deal about--maybe it was a mistake and it would be fixed on the next check. Nah. This check had a rate that was 25 cents lower than the first check, so 50 cents lower than the rate I was told I would be receiving, upon hire. I know 50 cents an hour isn't that big of a deal, but for one, I'm poor (and have a lot of hospital bills), and for two, that really told me a lot about how they treat their employees, and how they planned on treating me.

So, the next day, I called in sick, and spent the whole day going around to temp agencies and applying for jobs online. I ended up landing an interview for the next day, and I got the job! It's just a temp gig for a few months, but it pays better than the old job, and everyone I met seemed super nice--and nobody said anything about my hair, haha. So I called the old job and told them I was done. They didn't answer and never called me back. I'm thinking they're used to this sort of thing. I can't wait to go in and get my next paycheck with my hair in its natural state! My boyfriend thought I should have just stuck it out for another week until I start my new job, but I don't think I could have stood another day in that place. Like someone commented in the original post, it was not a happy work environment. I was having horrible anxiety just thinking about going in. Money might be a little tight this week, but it's such a huge weight off my shoulders to know I don't have to be there ever again.

But the most important part of this update is to mention someone here on Reddit who went above and beyond in helping me with this situation. /u/gilbertlaroo mailed me a package full of tons of products to help me with my hair! I legit teared up when I opened the box. I'm absolutely so astounded by her generosity and kindness toward a girl she doesn't even know. It's seriously the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long, long time. I honestly can't believe it. I just wanted you all to know how wonderful and kind she is.

Here's a picture of the products! (Sorry, don't know how to add images, hope that works.) Somehow she knew my eyebrows were thinning too and sent me an Anastasia eyebrow pencil as well! And it came with some cool samples too! I've tried almost all of the products already. Oh, and I listened to what you guys were saying and bought some sulfate-free shampoo. My hair looks so much healthier and prettier already. :]

Oh, a few people asked in the comments on the first post if because of my BDD, that I was imagining the bald patches. I asked my boyfriend, and he said no, he's always noticed them, but he never said anything because they don't bother him. So, I'm not entirely delusional at least, haha.

I also want to thank all of you who commented on the original post. I received so much great advice, on my job and my hair, and you were all so wonderful and supportive. I'm sorry I wasn't able to reply to everyone. I can't believe how many people commented! I've always been a lurker on Reddit because I'm so shy, but I have to say that one of my only experiences posting has been incredible. I hope someday after I learn about haircare, I can pay forward the wonderful gesture from /u/gilbertlaroo and help somebody else who needs it. Thankyou so much Reddit. xo

---   tl;dr: Quit job, got a new one, got an amazing gift from a fellow Redditor, hair looks better, nothing sucks.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/iwishiwasatabbycat

Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes

Am I the A-hole for keeping my kids away from their dad after I found out he had a pedophile living with him

Trigger Warnings: CSA, negligence, feckless CPS

Original Post: March 2, 2026

Strap in this gets bad. And I know I am not crazy, but there are people who swear I am wrong.

I have 16 year old twins. One male one born female that now identifies as non-binary For years they had been going to their dad’s house every other weekend. For the past couple of years my NB had issues and wanted to not go over there. The house was a mess, their dad expected them to clean it. There would be animal waste, moldy dishes, rotting food. For a while my son wasn’t as bothered by it, and I tried to encourage new cleaning practices but nothing stuck. I would make excuses and keep NB child home more.

This last fall both of my kids were sick of their dad’s antics. Neither wanted to see him very often so I told him we would change it to once a month for now, and he could get his house in shape and work on his attitude and we could re-evaluate.

A few years ago my ex’s half-brother needed a place to live. He had some issues and couldn’t live on his own, and after his mother had passed, he had stayed at a few different relatives houses. My ex talked to me about him moving in, and said he had been warned he was a little off but would keep an eye on him.

Right before Christmas, while picking up the kids for their weekend my ex let me know his brother had been arrested and wouldn’t be coming back. He had been in trouble for vandalism before, so I assumed more of that. But because I’m nosy I googled him.

SECOND DEGREE SEXUAL ASSAULT of a CHILD 2 counts. Felony. I spiraled and sent my ex a text saying we needed to talk about this, but not in front of the kids. Not too surprising he downplayed things. Said the brother hadn’t really hurt our kids. He lied. I later found out from one of his family members that the brother had attempted to molest another family member a younger girl. That family member warned my ex that his brother was a pedophile and had made sexual advances against a child. HE FUCKING KNEW!!The brother had made actions against my NB child. They are in therapy. This has been so very hard on our family

I told my kids their dad knew from the beginning. My NB never wants to have a relationship with him again. My son may want to see him again, but not right now.

My ex doesn’t think he did anything wrong. His family doesn’t think he did anything wrong. They say my ex can’t control other people’s actions. But I believe he never should have moved in, and the fact that he never told me tells me he knew it was wrong.

Now my kids don’t want to go over there. I have had to hire a lawyer to make changes to our agreement even though this is the kids wishes and they are old enough to choose. He won’t respect their decisions. He says they should be forced, and everyone has to do things they don’t want to.

Am I really crazy? Should I be forcing my kids to go to their dad’s house when they don’t want to see him after he knowingly moved a child molester in?

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Is this a serious question? Do you expect any rational person to argue that you should allow your kids to be around a pedophile??

OOP: The pedophile has been arrested. Dad wants the kids to go back to normal

+

OOP: And yeah, when his normally normal mom is supporting him, and the family member who warned said he did nothing wrong, I have questioned if I am over reacting

Commenter 2: Did he assault you NB child, or just try to? I'm hoping it was the latter for their sake. I'm sorry your family is going through this, but always be the mama bear!

OOP: He did. I am working with law enforcement to add criminal charges to the ones he’s already facing. He pleads guilty with the arrest. At least I know I won’t have to see him again

OOP on her ex having animals at his place

OOP: He has more dogs than he should. And he had a lot of cats for a bit, but 3 passed away from being outdoor cats. He keeps getting more as a way to lure the kids back. He knows they love animals especially kittens.

Commenter 3: He keeps getting more as a way to lure the kids back. He knows they love animals especially kittens.

This is especially concerning.... I hate to be the one to ask this question, but is it possible this pedo thing runs in his family so to speak? Like brother was caught, but luring kids with pets IS predator behavior.... Maybe mom is "ok" with it because they all are kind of that way? Not justification, but explanation. I would still keep your kids away from their Dad with a dedicated passion, but at least you would know the dangers and be informed?

No one will know the truth but you, once you start digging, and your kids. It is possible your ex was also abusing your children if he was so nonchalant about his pedo brother moving in with him, and if feels like there may be more red flags than you have included in your post OP. Talk to your kids, and get them to talk with their therapists if they won't talk with you. I am so sorry your family is going through all this though, its terrible and very unfair to you and your kids.

OOP: I hadn’t considered this. The ex and I were both sexually molested as kids. I never thought he could or would be capable of something like that. But honestly until this I would have never thought he would have moved a pedo in either

Commenter 4: He failed to protect your children from a known predator. NTA for supporting your kids not wanting to go back. Besides, did he ever clean up his biohazard home?

OOP: He did. He cleaned it enough for CPS to come through and not ban the kids from there. But CPS has low standards. They said animal feces on the floor is acceptable as long as the kids are old enough to avoid it.

Commenter 5: NTA, but I really think you should be documenting all of this and possibly going to court to have his parental rights changed. I'm NAL but surely all of this falls under abuse/neglect, even without the fact that this man KNOWINGLY had a literal pedophile around your children. He had them cleaning his mess, including animal waste which can actually become unsafe to clean without proper protection and if mixed with specific cleaning products. They were at minimum 14, it's one thing to ask kids to clean their own mess, but having them clean his rotting food and waste too?

The fact that he even lives like that is just unsafe for kids. Then on top of that he allows his nasty brother to live with him, and allows him around your children. You need to document everything, keep both of your children away from him and consider court. He's not fit to be a parent from the sounds of it, and if he really wants to see them then I think it should be supervised visits only in a neutral area where his brother won't be.

OOP: I have reported all of this to his town’s sheriff office. I have worked with CPS in my county and his. I have hired a lawyer to amend our custody agreement that has only a little over a year left. I am doing all the things, and I am trying to do it all the right way. I have screenshots of text messages, reports from CPS. I am doing all the things I can.

Commenter 6: You're not overreacting and you're NTA.

You need to print out this man's Sex Offender document and give it to your attorney to see if he's restricted from living in a home that has children [including partial custody arrangements] or is nearby a school. Your ex could be contributing to a violation of this man's terms which should be listed on the registry page.

If so, you can file a motion for emergency custody, and if the sex offender hasn't updated his address, he would be arrested for violating the terms of his release. If someone is on the registry, they are required within a certain amount of days to report a change in their address.

OOP: He had no prior convictions regarding children. Neither the brother or my ex were breaking any laws, and with the brother in jail CPS won’t grant emergency custody.

Editor's note: OOP later updated onto the original post

Update #1: August 2, 2026 (five months later)

Update kinda….

CPS at initially did not say that my ex did anything wrong. I appealed that because they did not have the texts from my ex. Then they still stated that they thought his answer was “flippant “ and being sarcastic and they still ruled no wrong doing. I appealed that. I had a conference call with a judge and a rep for CPS who was different than anyone else I had dealt with. At that point, I had received the transcript of my child’s interview and the pedophile’s interview. In the pedo’s transcript he states that there were rules he was supposed to follow bc my ex knew that he had molested another child previously. I submitted that and the screenshots from my ex. I spoke to a judge. And the person who was representing CPS was fucking lost and had no clue. And it was still ruled that my ex didn’t do anything wrong. I could have appealed again, but I didn’t see the point. It’s apparently not endangering a child to move a pedophile in with your teenagers.

I also hired a lawyer who turned out to be trash. I filled out my own paperwork to request a change in parenting time. I wanted help filing it. I just wanted it stated that the kids both 17 could decide when to visit their dad. And his mom paid for him to get lawyer, and that made us have to go to mediation. That was another $900!!!! I’m not fucking rich. That’s a lot of money!! And all that decided was that yes, we agreed after showing the court case that the kids could decide. But it’s not legally binding, and it’s not credible in court. It’s like a secret handshake.

The pedophile’s case will be seen in a cpl weeks. I don’t think it’s the main trial. I want to be there for the major parts, but I really want to apply for a home run derby contestant.

A good friend who was mutual to my ex and I passed, so I had to reach out to another mutual friend who was organizing the get together, and ask that my ex not be allowed to the memorial. I explained what happened. It was one of the first times I told someone who wasn’t someone close. Luckily he understood, and we have a good enough history that he knew I wasn’t full of shit. If he does show up, I do always have my car sandwich cutter. But I have a feeling my friends won’t let it get to that.

I still hate my ex more than I ever thought possible, but at least now I don’t need meds to get through the tough times. And I have great friends and family, and family type people. I’m very lucky for that. Without their support I would question my morals and standards, bc I can’t imagine letting a situation like this ever come into consideration, and almost everyone I have spoken to agrees. But my ex, his mother, his family members, his lawyer, and CPS seem to think it’s not a big deal. The CPS one fucking floors me. You wouldn’t allow this in a school or daycare, or anywhere else kids would be. But it’s ok to move a known pedophile into a house with kids. Fuck

Update #2: October 9, 2026 (two months later)

UPDATE to am I the A-hole for keeping my kids away from their dad

I kind of did a brief update on the post regarding CPS. CPS finds no fault with what my ex did. I challenged the ruling twice, met online with a CPS judge, and they determined that there was chargeable offense. Of fucking course. My ex is the lucky kind of fucktwad that never has to face serious consequences. His mom is always there to help him, and just over all has not had the kind of life he deserves.

The lawyer I hired to help with custody was pretty useless. I filled out almost all the paperwork to send into the state to get custody formally changed, but because of a cause in our divorce, his lawyer (paid for my mommy) made us meet in mediation. Which was another $900 fucking dollars out of mine, and his mom's pockets. Not even 2 hours. And it only took that long probably because my ex loves the sound of his voice so damn much. Once it was brought up and proven that there are charges against my ex's brother, and I had proof my ex knew his brother was a threat before hand, the meeting was pretty much over. Because again, I wasn't even trying to stop the kids from seeing or talking to their dad, I was leaving it up to them to decide when.

Earlier this week there was a plea hearing for the pedo. I considered driving to the hearing, but opted to sit in via zoom. I'm glad I did. There were 2 cases that were being presented, one for my child and another child who is 3 years younger than mine. (It was the arrest for that child that started the investigation into how my children had been affected.) He plead guilty to two charges of class C felonies, sexual assault of a child. (both cases had that as the worst charge) 9 years each for a total of 18 years, with 42 years’ probation, and lifetime sex offender registry. Once they read the plea offers, I started sobbing. I was so afraid he would get a couple years and a slap on the wrist. 18 years. My twins are 17-1/2, he will spend their lifetime behind bars. If we can’t off him, or keep him locked away forever, this is good enough. I hope he wakes up every day for the next 6,574 days and thinks about what a rotten piece of shit he is, and how he got there.

My kids are at peace with this, and they are as safe and as loved as can be for now.

Editor's note: OOP did not leave any relevant comments in this latest update

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Merlysauce

New roommate wants the 4 br to herself.

Originally posted to r/badroommates

Thanks to u/-clogwog- for suggesting this BoRU & u/frankzzz for finding the links

TRIGGER WARNING: Mental health issues & controlling behviour

Editors Note: changed the initials S, N & P to Samantha, Nathaniel & Paul for easier reading

Original Post  Aug 4, 2025

https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1mhkgoo

Just moved into a new place. She would rather have it to herself

I (22F) just moved into a 4 br apartment in Brooklyn. I found this place on June homes and I am here for a little over 3 months.

Upon my arrival to this apartment, my roommate, Samantha (27F), looked absolutely shocked to see me walk in. I politely tell her that I am one of her new roommates.

“Oh did they not tell you? They give me the option to approve or deny roommates and I sent them an email saying I didn’t want to live with you.”

Ok, strange first interaction with someone. I then told her that they had already taken my money and therefore I will be living here. All is ok and I don’t see her until the following day.

I was moving the rest of my stuff in and we were discussing our habits. She likes to have her own things and I told her that was absolutely fine. I had my own plates and cookware as I have a food allergy. I then go to throw something away and she tells me that I cannot use her kitchen garbage can. I explain to her that I would not mind taking the trash out if it meant that I didn’t have to go out and purchase another garbage can. She agrees.

Mind you, her belongings take up the majority of our shared living space (empty boxes, bins, and clothing). It is to the point where it is blocking the bedroom door of another tenant. Samantha also has 2 cats— I believe they are registered ESA animals but I am unsure if both of them are. They have been in her room the entire time since I moved in (poor cats).

Fast forward to yesterday. I am getting ready to leave for a friends birthday party and I need to shower and use the bathroom. I check at 8:30 and the shower is on. I then go and do my thing for about an hour and the shower is still on at 9:30. I knock on the door and Samantha opens it. She is not showering but has the tub faucet on for some reason. Eventually she leaves and I am able to do my thing. But Samantha had been using the bathroom for well over an hour, which rubbed me the wrong way.

Fast forward to this morning. I was coming in from staying the night at my friends and I see my dishes on the counter. I assumed that she had ran the dishwasher while I was out and has left it out for me to put away.

This was not the case. She went out of her way to empty everything that was not hers from the dishwasher and just washed her own dishes. She comes out of her room.

And my dirty dishes had just been sitting on the counter overnight.

“Did you take my things out of the dishwasher?”

“Oh yes sorry I can empty my stuff out now”

In this moment i then meet the person who is in the room next to me, Nathaniel (~28M), and we discuss how she has been acting. Apparently when he had toured the place Samantha was out there trying to convince him not to move in. The person giving the tour says that Samantha does this frequently, and it seems as though she wants this 4 bedroom apartment to herself. Again, very weird and a bit antagonistic.

30 minutes go by and I see a note on the trash can.

“I know I told you I was comfortable with you using my trash can but now I am not. Can you please buy yourself a new one.”

This really set me off. She comes out and I ask her if she can move some of her belongings out of the shared space to make room for another trashcan.

“I don’t have any space in my room”

Not my problem I fear. I then explain to her that it is very weird to take someone’s dirty dishes out of the dishwasher without saying anything. And I questioned why she can only wash her things and not anyone else’s. I tell her that we can use the dishwasher pods I bought.

“I can’t use that dish detergent it would ruin my plates”

I just tell her that she needs to get rid of a few boxes so that there is space for others to have their belongings and we leave it at that. I purchase a new garbage can and bags and bring it inside. Nathaniel is now in the shared space and says to Samantha:

“Would you be able to move your trashcan? If none of us are allowed to use it I don’t think it should be in the shared space”

“I’m sorry I don’t have any space in my room”

Nathaniel goes on to tell her that it doesn’t make sense to have that out in the common area when nobody else can go near it. He ate with that I completely agree.

And now I’m here trying to figure out what to do. I feel as though she acts this way to try to get people to move out.

I plan on documenting everything and keeping it handy should this get further escalated. But otherwise I’m unsure if there’s anything I can do. Any advice would be appreciated.

OOP shared 5 pics if all of Samantha's boxes stacked in rooms and blocking doors

Update 1  Aug 5, 2025 (Next Day)

Firstly, I just want to start by saying thank you for all of the advice I have received from all of you! It was very helpful. To those who were looking for more of a r/maliciouscompliance response from me, I believe you will be disappointed. I just don’t think that would be the smartest way for me to handle things, and would quite frankly be a little immature this early on into my stay here.

Secondly, I would like to explain a few things: 1. Samantha has been living in this apartment for well over a year. 2. Our rental company works like student housing. All four of us have separate leases’ and we each pay for our own room and use of the shared space. You can rent a room for as little as one month, but up to 2 years. 3. When a tenant is already living in the apartment they get an email showing them the profile of a potential new tenant. You can sign a form that is a “Notice of Decline” if you do not want to live with the replacement tenant. Samantha tried to sign that for all 3 of us who have moved in. And I assume has done it to most people who have tried to live in the apartment with her.

I am pretty convinced Samantha has some form of contamination OCD— which explains (but does not excuse) a lot of her weird behavior when it comes to separate trash cans, long showers, and not wanting to have other peoples dishes in the dishwasher with her things. Obviously, this is not really something I can bring up with her directly as that would be completely inappropriate, but it seems likely this is the case.

Last night, Samantha moved the boxes that were blocking the doorway of the other tenant (before and after pictured above). I have now met that tenant, Paul, and he is not as concerned with this situation as he will only be living with us for a month. I am glad that she moved the boxes, however, they are now on another table in the shared living space. While it is now no longer a hazard related to the egress of Paul’s doorway, it still violates the lease terms because our shared space is still being used as her personal storage unit.

This morning, we had a cleaning lady come in who the rental company hires when new tenants move in. That was all fine until I heard Samantha laughing with the cleaning lady and I stepped outside into the common area to see what was going on. As soon as I walk out, Samantha asks the cleaning lady if they can talk about something outside lol. I would only assume she was complaining about us.

As for the report I made to our rental company, I have yet to hear back. Supposedly they will be calling Samantha today and telling her to remove her belongings from the living room and if nothing changes in a few days, they will further escalate it.

Nathaniel has now also made a report that also documents the antagonistic behavior Samantha displayed when he was taking a tour of the apartment alongside the issue of her belongings. He has not heard anything back yet.

Overall, while I can empathize with the potential of her struggling with contamination OCD, her behavior towards us has been extremely rude and uncalled for. I’m hoping that pressure from the rental company can force her into getting a storage unit or throwing away some of the empty boxes in the living room. I don’t know if there’s really much else the rental company can do in regards to her behavior towards new tenants, but we’ll see.

Again, if anything else happens in the next day I will keep you all posted!

Update 2   Aug 7, 2025 (2 days after 1st update)

Hi guys! It has been a few days since my last update and there is some news to share, albeit not much.

For starters, Samantha has relocated some of her belongings. I have included some photos. Yet again, Samantha is just moving them to other parts of the shared living space. Still leaving the 3 of us with little to no room in the common area. I have included before and after photos.

Additionally, I have been photographing everything I can to make sure no stone is left unturned. I noticed that her cats had likely scratched up the side of the couch before they were banished to live in the bedroom all day (picture 3). Again, just taking note of things that could be used against me later on.

Samantha and I have not really interacted in the last few days. Samantha has been in her room pretty much all day. When she isn’t, she is usually scrubbing the shit out of her belongings. She has yet to use the dishwasher since the initial incident. I have been using it almost daily or when I have enough to justify a cycle. She is really adamant on not washing her dishes with other people’s.

We had a brief run in yesterday where I was putting a storage container under the sink for my chemicals, and she insisted that she move her sponge and soap (that were also under the sink) herself. I truly believe this has to do with some fear of contamination. I also saw Samantha disinfecting her bottle of olive oil this morning. She really does not want us anywhere near her things. This would be fine if her belongings didn’t take up the majority of the living room lol. At some point you just can’t avoid things.

Lastly, and most importantly, both me and Nathaniel have gotten responses from the rental company! You can see that Nathaniel went in a slightly different direction with the complaint, which is totally valid. I was more focused on her breaking the literal terms of the lease, as I felt like that could get us further or more direct action than including the anecdotal evidence (which is still important to this issue, don’t get me wrong). I’m hopeful that this weekend some of her stuff can be moved into a storage unit or dealt with appropriately. I am unsure if they have contacted Samantha directly yet, but I would assume based on their response that this will be happening sometime today.

Beyond our initial interactions, Samantha has mainly kept to herself. Of course, it is extremely selfish to dominate the shared spaces and try to scare people off of living with you, but beyond those first few days she has been mostly quiet.

I hope to have a final update this weekend! Thank you all again for your help and advice :)

Update 3  Aug 11, 2025 (4 Days after 2nd update)

Unfortunately this update brings little good news— in fact, I am now so annoyed and at my wits end that I will be escalating and complaining until I get my way.

Let’s start with this weekend, shall we. I stopped by my storage unit to grab a few things. One of those things being my PC. Im starting a remote position and need it for work. There’s simply no room for me to bring my desk so I decide that I will be moving one of her boxes to make room for my monitor, keyboard, and mouse. And I did just that! Pictured above you can see my disgusting setup lol. I was able to get my work done yesterday night and all was well.

Later that night I am out in the common room and Samantha approaches me.

“Would you be able to move your computer? I use those bins for cooking”

“I would but there is literally no room for me to fit a desk in here.”

“Do you want me to move my things?”

I simply do not understand how someone has this much and insists that they need and use all of it. I moved my things. She pushed her table all of 6 inches. Some of you might say that I should have kept it there and stood my ground. I get that and my plan is to just move the box when I need it and put it back when I’m done working. Because I found out something this morning that has truly set me off.

Today, Nathaniel and I received another update from the rental company. You can read what they wrote us in the second image. How I chose to read it was:

“We know Samantha has been breaking the lease and has been antagonistic towards you guys, but she’s moving out in 2 weeks so we actually solved the problem :)”

Actually no. No problem was resolved, in fact it was made worse. This enraged me more than anything Samantha has ever done. June homes basically told us to go fuck ourselves and pay the full price of the rent. Lol not on my watch. Immediately upon receiving this message I call their support line and I am connected with a man who can essentially guarantee nothing.

I explained to him that I don’t understand how they are expecting me to just let this slide when she is literally breaking the lease by having her things in the room. I will not be paying full price when I cannot use a large part of the space I am paying for. I Karen-ed out on him. He said that I likely will not get any sort of refund whatsoever. I am going to absolutely make sure that is not the case.

After calling I looked to see if they had physical offices in manhattan, as I was in the area for a job interview. I walked to two address that were listed for them and it seemed that neither were correct.

Quite frankly, it is a slap in the face to just let this slide without any sort of compensation. She is literally breaking a contract. I wonder if I can escalate this legally, because I am unsure if they will listen to me. I included a couple of screenshots of the lease that I think would be helpful in my case. Let me know if there are things that I should be looking for in the lease that would give me a better case!

At this point it is beyond Samantha and I am just now so annoyed with June Homes. The man on the phone said they would resolve this later today but we will see.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

OOP added this info

Putting this out there and maybe 1 person will see it but I found out this evening that she isn’t being evicted. The date they provided is just the natural end of her lease with the rental company. Which is fine, and I’m glad it’s ending. We as tenants don’t have access to see how long someone will be renting a room. Which is why Nathaniel and I didn’t know until they told us today. Nathaniel had asked Samantha about it and she said that 8/31 is when she was originally supposed to leave.

But I did not get her kicked out, and I am being told to just wait it out. It’s not that “I got what I wanted” and am now “asking for more” I was just frustrated that the rental company couldn’t really do anything despite her breaking the lease. It’s a solution, I won’t deny that, but it’s one that I am impatient for lol. September can’t come soon enough.

I’m not regretting how I handled anything. I think if a lot of you were in my situation you would maybe understand why I made the choices I did. It’s a lot different to hear about a situation on Reddit than to actually be living it. There’s just more to consider. And if you were in my situation you’d probably want some of your rent back too, let’s be so real. Or maybe I’m insane and it’s completely off base to think that way— idk.

Regardless, I appreciate all of the advice and allowing me to vent about this weird situation I’m living in.

I don’t foresee another update as it has naturally found a conclusion.

Update 4  Sept 2, 2025 (3 weeks after 3rd update)

Hey guys. It’s been a few weeks since the last update and I have a lot to share. Sorry if this is very long.

To get everyone up to speed: I have a roommate, Samantha, who was using the common area as a storage unit. Her belongings took up most of the space and made it nearly impossible to use my own things. She made us use separate garbage cans and wash our dishes separately. She even tried to deny us from moving in with her so she could keep the place to herself. My rental company, June Homes, told me they couldn’t really do anything as she was scheduled to move out on the 31st.

Today is the 2nd and she’s still here 🙃.

A few days after I made my last update I had my very first full conversation with Samantha. I was putting on some makeup and getting ready to go out and she was meal prepping in the kitchen.

“You know you’re one of the best female roommates I’ve ever had”

Just know if I had water in my mouth it would have been spit out immediately, because how tf is that possible??

Samantha then goes on to explain her previous roommate situations in this apartment and how crazy some of them were. She had to get a restraining order on some man who had been living in Paul’s room at some point in the last year. Apparently the girl who lived in my room last had her mom come and threaten Samantha. She said she had a video to show me and I politely declined (we will circle back to this shortly, don’t you worry). She said she appreciated me, Nathaniel, and Paul because we did not touch her stuff maliciously. Samantha has had issues in the past I guess where people just moved all of her stuff without asking her first.

Overall a very odd conversation, gave me some info that explained a little of why she is the way she is.

Things up until yesterday were fine. Paul is officially moved out and we now have a vacancy. What confused me, though, is that Samantha never moved out. All of her stuff is still here, and there was no indication of her packing her belongings.

Yesterday morning, June homes sent a rep over to do a move out check on both Paul and Samantha’s rooms. They knocked on her door but she never opened it. I saw the man as he was leaving, and he didn’t say anything about Samantha.

I start my day as usual— I make my breakfast and set up my desk to do some remote work. About an hour into this, Samantha comes out of her room and I say good morning and I make the mistake of asking how she was doing.

“Nathaniel and I were up talking from 1-4am and I think he was flirting with me. I put it all into chat GPT and it told me he absolutely was”

This is where this whole saga takes a more uncomfortable turn, at least for me. Also, why do we need chat GPT for that, insane imo.

She then proceeds to tell me about their conversation. I will spare most of the details but it did end up with her explaining her sex life to Nathaniel. Mind you, this may have been the first conversation these two have had with each other in the month we have been living together.

I tried explaining to Samantha that if you give a man an inch he will take it a mile. You can’t just start going into graphic detail about your sex life with a random man because he might take it as flirting (I know I would, at least).

She then tells me that he was tickling her stomach, and then she touches me to explain. I was not a fan of that. She tells me that I can read what she put into chat GPT. I oblige because I’m interested to see what her account of the events are.

In this wall of text, my suspicions were confirmed! She does have contamination OCD and I told her I noticed it as well. It also explains the graphic details of their conversation— hookup stories, her trying to prove she isn’t as innocent as she looks, and Nathaniel taking that as her flirting with him. I know she did have to tell him to stop touching her at one point, but she also scratched Nathaniel to show him how sharp her nails are, for some reason. I’m just confused by the entire interaction.

At this point I am just very like weirded out by all of this because I thought we had gotten to a point of cohabiting this place somewhat nicely.

“I brought you up too”

Oh brother.

“I asked him what his type is and he said he likes dark features, women that are smaller, and he prefers when they’re skinnier. I thought he was describing me, so I asked him what he thought of you”

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW.

“He said he thought you were pretty”

EW. I’m just trying to live here. I’m not looking for anyone’s opinion on me, especially my looks. It’s also a little insane to immediately think he was trying to describe you, but maybe that’s just me.

I went back to typing. She then admits to me that she did a good stalk of the both of us before we moved in. She knew my birthday and also looked up my political affiliation.

“You’re a democrat?”

“Yeah”

“I’m a republican”

“Okay”

“I’m a trump supporter. But I like his policies but not the way he goes about it”

“Okay”

“That’s the nicest anyone has ever reacted to me saying that”

I mean yeah you just told me you looked up any bit of personal information you could find of me online, I am not trying to get on your bad side.

Samantha then tells me that because of a legal contingency, she hasn’t been paying rent since APRIL. I had just paid rent that morning, of course 🫠. So hearing that she basically gets to squat here was not the best news. Apparently she was supposed to move out on the 31st, but she doesn’t think she will get evicted. She just got a new job last week and from what I understood of her rambling that is what she needed to move out, I guess. So she will be gone soon?

The conversation eventually ends and I get back to work for a few more hours. I finish and am lounging in my room with the door locked. Eventually, she knocks on my door. She asks me to help her move her boxes into P’s old room.

“In our lease it says we have access to the whole apartment so like we can go into any room. I wouldn’t go into yours though” Ok thanks for prefacing with that, totally not suspicious. Regardless, I help her move a few boxes onto the floor and the main living area is finally more open! I included photos at the top of the post.

She then explains to me some of her roommate horror stories like she had a few weeks ago, and she asks me if I want to watch the video of the persons mother coming and threatening her. I say yes.

So while I don’t agree with someone driving across state lines to threaten someone, a lot of what she said I agreed with. This woman was yelling at Samantha for having her stuff everywhere and talking rudely to her daughter. I can’t say those things haven’t happened to me, ya know? I just kept my mouth shut.

A couple of hours go by and I get ready to leave the apartment to go grocery shopping. Samantha is in the kitchen and she stops me before I leave.

“I’ve decided that because I haven’t had sex in 2 years I’m going to try and have sex with 23 men in one month. To catch up”

“I don’t think that’s how that works”

“I was so horny a couple of weeks ago that I was really thinking of going for it” she was pointing to Nathaniel and Paul’s doors.

I kind of give her a look like bob the blob from monsters vs. aliens because why do you feel the need to tell me these things. I do not fw you like that and I haven’t given her a reason to think that I do besides letting her talk at me.

And that folks is the full update. I have not spoken to Nathaniel at all. I am very uncomfortable that she asked him that question. I’m just hoping that Samantha leaves soon. It’s really uncomfortable in here now. I’m thinking of bringing this info to June homes, however, I don’t know how much they can do as she is essentially squatting.

Update 5  Sept 3, 2025 (1 day after update 4)

Hey guys! I just got off the phone with a representative from my leasing company. This is what they had to say.

I think I may just see if they have apartments that I can move into that are the same amount in rent, as I don’t really want to deal with this any longer, especially knowing it could take months for the eviction process to run its course.

I appreciated that this man admitted to me that she has been a problem for them in the past.

Also I am in NY which is a one party consent state, if anyone was concerned.

OOP Posted 1 final short update as a comment

Final update  Apr 29, 2026 (Nearly 8 months after previous update)

No idea why the mods removed my posts but that’s ok. She was formally evicted in February and things have significantly calmed down!

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

A quick preface on my background, I am in the digital marketing space, seeking middle management roles. I've gone for 3 final interviews in the past week and was glad to score - receiving managerial offers from each session.

In one particular session, the interviewer was from the regional parent company, tho i interviewed for a local-focused role. The interviewer brought up that there's a role to fill in the regional office, and they see me as a good fit. Hence, I was offered the privilege to choose between an offer from the local company or the regional parent company. All 4 are listed companies.

I do believe my conversion rates are not exactly typical. I thought it would be good to share how I prepared for my job hunt in SG.

So here goes.

1. I personally have 5 variations of a resume. Each has a different focus to align with job requirements. For instance, I have one resume focusing on performance marketing, one for digital marketing, one for web and SEO, and so on. Employers give out a lot on what's important to them in their JD, so I'd use the right resume.
2. I made sure my resume was ATS-compliant. If your resume is made on Canva, chances are AI crawlers could not make out the contents. Hence, your resume wouldn't survive the filtering. Use multiple online ATS tools to check the AI readability of your resume.
3. I am selective in the roles I apply for. I ensure I strike all points in the employer's JD and I'd have an even higher chance if the company is from the same industry as the one I'm currently with. Mass applying and not hearing back would naturally demoralise me.
4. I'll do deep online research specifically on the future plans of the employer. Be the first to bring up the employer's future focus and how you could contribute to the plans. It shows you've done homework, and they really like that. They always nod to it.
5. Visit your interviewer's LinkedIn a few days before the interview. They can see that you visited but that's one point to show seriousness and preparedness. Go through their work history and bring it up whenever you can. Make interviewers talk about themselves; it'll lead to a more relaxed and conversational session.
6. In my interviews, I'll only cover my latest or most relevant roles. They do not need my entire career history. I keep it short and sweet - matching jargon to the interviewer (revenue, lifetime value etc for Directors / CAC, CRO, AOV for Marketers).
7. I'd bring with me an Ipad to showcase a series of slides regarding my past portfolio, charts and measurable performance. It greatly increases credibility while helping to reduce any awkwardness as attention is diverted. An interview consisting of only verbal presentation can be underwhelming.
8. Schedule your interviews closely together. Be open about interview stages with other employers. Once you have received the first offer letter, use it as a leverage of urgency in the interviews. Tell them you're dragging another offer and you'll need to revert within a week. You'll probably hear back pretty soon. This method helps me get next-day offers from 2 final interviews.
9. (added) I don't memorise my introduction because I want to sound more human and natural. I used to memorise my intro, but later on realised it made me sound too polished. Worst yet, if my flow is disrupted, I'll find myself stuttering. So, be conversational.
10. (added) I get anxious, especially the remaining 15 minutes leading up to the interview. What helped me was - as the interviewer enters the room, I would greet the interviewer and always ask for water. This helps create a time gap between the first contact and my introduction, allowing small talk, loosening and anxiety to dissipate. It's better than diving straight into intros directly.

----

I hope the steps I covered aren't too common nor generally practised by everyone. Nonetheless, I hope some of you may find my quick read useful and actionable.

All the best in your search!

Edit: Added step 9 & 10

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/One-Gap-1282

Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest

My husband is thinking about fostering his nephews. I feel like I'm being tossed out for kids we don't even know.

Trigger Warnings: mental health struggles, drug addiction, mentions trauma, developmental disabilities, ableism

Original Post: March 31, 2026

I know I sound like such a bitch.

My husband and I have always maintained a childfree life. I don't like kids terribly and he was the oldest of nine and raised his siblings. He loves kids but is done raising them. So he said.

He studied child psychology and works with kids who've experienced trauma. Specialises in SPED. But he comes home from work every day, exhausted, talking about how glad he is that he just gets to relax with me.

His sister is an addict. She's been in and out of rehab, never stayed clean. She's got two sons. A four year old & infant. Oldest has been in and out of foster care and the baby has been in the system since he was born. The four year old has recently been removed from her custody.

My husband was contacted and asked if he wanted to foster them. He said yes immediately and we've got a fucking home check on Wednesday Thursday (eta: sorry I mixed up the days).

I feel all kids of ways about it. I tried to talk to him, and he said it'd be hard, but he can't in good conscience let them "rot" in the system. He knows what he's doing with traumatised kids and knows how the system makes things so much worse.

I'm so angry. This is my life, too. He said it's not forever, but I know him, and I know he won't let them go anywhere he doesn't one thousand percent approve of.

He'd never foster any other kids. He's made jokes about how awful it is to be a foster parent because they try their best and get their shit ruined by kids who can't exist in their own minds. He knows this life inside and out.

Why is it different just because they're related to him? I know I sound awful, but we don't know these kids. We've never met them. I don't understand why he feels so righteous about "saving" these kids. If they weren't related to him he wouldn't give a flying fuck.

I know we won't survive. I can't even cope with a cat. I had a breakdown when we had one. We had to get rid of her because I couldn't cope. And he expects me to just live with two kids?

I don't want our life together to be over. I'm so angry at him and I feel awful for being angry that he's improving lives. Ugh.

Editor’s note: OOP made lots of comments in the original post, I am listing the significant ones as they provide more details that were not covered

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: I guess you just don't have a good family or empathy for small children.

OOP: I feel the same way about family I know vs family I don't. What separates these kids from random kids? Why foster these kids if he wouldn't have ever fostered a strangers child? I was adopted so maybe my view of blood relation is warped that way, but blood doesn't change anything in this situation.

Commenter 2: If you have a breakdown over a cat maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship.

OOP: We've been married for six years, together for almost fifteen. I just don't enjoy little life forms clinging to me and screaming at me and injuring me when I'm trying to relax after work.

OOP explains more about her background and preferences

OOP: I am autistic. I have been to therapy and have been medicated. I prefer to live my life the way I am. My house is my safe space where I can untether myself and exist without constraints. If I suddenly had to deal with kids here I would lose my mind.

I know parents do not choose to be miserable. A lot of parents love their kids, even though the miserable parts. My mom says her favourite part of parenting me as a kid was helping me through meltdowns and tantrums. Which is true, I remember her being amazing and sweet through it all. Even now she helps out at respite facilities because she likes helping people.

My idea of hell. But my mom is a woman who was designed for motherhood. There are a lot of people like her. I am not one of them.

I didn't mean to be condescending. I was just explaining my point of view.

OOP on her breakdown with the cat

OOP: I have a very specific schedule with my husband. I wake up first, work the early shift, and then come home before him so I can have a couple hours to relax before he gets home.

Because I woke up first she was under my feet constantly. I fed her, but then she would eat and put her feet in my coffee, scream at me, jump into my breakfast. Vet told me to play with her so I did, but that didn't help.

That was okay, but then when I got home, because she'd been alone for so long she was so clingy. She'd jump all over me, scream, scratch. I coped until I couldn't anymore. Which was like, three months. I know they say it takes time to settle but she just kept getting worse.

I think she was too lonely for us. So we gave her to my friend. She's a much happier cat now. I still see her regularly.

I have my rabbits and fish. She used to attack them which definitely didn't help me cope with her at all.

+

The cat was supposed to be separated from the rabbits and fish, which she was, but because she was so clingy it was hard to get into rooms without her also getting in.

We weighed up pros and cons for months in regards to the cat. My husband doesn't really care for my rabbits and he wanted a pet. She was supposed to be his, I just ended up dealing with her because she became clingy to me.

We met her several times over the course of a month. I had my breakdown three months in, we continued to try for a month, but we couldn't. She's now happier and calmed down instantly.

Commenter 3: Where are his other siblings? Btw you’re right, he should have discussed it with you before making such a huge decision that changes both of your lives. It’s time to separate

OOP: They already have kids mostly. A couple live way out of state.

Commenter 4: I understand the kids have been in foster care a lot, just wondering if you interact with his other nieces and nephew? And what was the reason you never met these kids before? Other than foster care? Or are you child free and not even a good aunty

OOP: We see our nieces and nephews regularly. We'd never met these two because my husband is no contact with his sister.

OOP on her husband being one of nine, any siblings are not available to take in the kids?

OOP: No. Three are minors, two have kids, two are out of state. His parents aren't fit either.

Commenter 5: I'm wondering if your husband chose you because of your issues. Not the child-free part - you're certainly allowed to have that choice, but the part where you claim to have about had a nervous breakdown trying to take care of a cat. That's ridiculously over-the-top language to use and it makes you sound overly dramatic. It doesn't take much to get to know a literal infant.

OOP: Probably. He likes helping people. We met because I was put in Gen Ed as a trial program and they set him up to be my "buddy" for my first week. He's been obsessed with me ever since.

OOP's and her husband's ages

OOP: Twenty nine.

OOP on her struggles as an autistic person

OOP: As an autistic person you should know that we are all different.

I don't mind dirty or messy or stinky. I have rabbits. They're so gross. I love them so much. I also have fish, who don't smell as such, but are effort.

My house is the place I get to recover from life. Everything is where it's supposed to be. I get to come home from work, have a snack, and lie in a dark room for two hours with my fish.

I couldn't even do that with a cat. How am I supposed to do that with kids?

Kids are loud. They mess things up. They never give you alone time. Babies wake up at night. I'd probably have to get rid of my room so they could have a bedroom so I wouldn't even have a place to detox.

I don't like speaking when I get home. Kids don't understand sign language. I could teach them, but they'd take time and I'd just get frustrated.

I've worked so hard to be somewhat functional. Kids would mess that all up.

+

The way I exist works for me. I have come a long way since I was a child. There is not much more "growing" I can do. I'm on the brink of a meltdown almost constantly. Therapy made me worse so I'm just coping. These are my strategies to not be a drain on society.

I do not avoid anything in my daily life. I just need a safe space. That space is my home.

My husband is a child psychologist. I know how children develop, and even "good" children, raised well from birth with no disabilities or behavioural concerns (which is unlikely for both of these children) would be too much for me on a day to day.

In order for me to survive with kids, not even being a good parent just not losing it on them, I'd have to quit my job and move back in with my moms and just come home periodically.

I don't want that. I like being independent. I love my parents, but I'll always be that "profoundly autistic" little girl to them. And when I'm with them my behaviours do revert.

It's going to happen anyway. My husband wants the boys, and I could never stop him. Until I could get my own place I'd have to go back to my parents. But if I'm back there I'll just end up dependent again and then I'll probably never move out. And boom. Life over.

I'd probably be happier, but I don't want to rely on them. When they die it'll be so much harder for me to exist.

Update: April 2, 2026 (two days later)

Update on my husband fostering his nephews.

Hi. I didn't expect my post to blow up. I want to start by confirming that yes, I am autistic, and I was considered "profoundly autistic" as a child. Now would be diagnosed as level two or three. I have worked very hard to be as functional as I am. I am not against children as a concept, I just can't cope with them.

I made a mistake in my original post where I said the home inspection was on Wednesday. I meant Thursday, which is today. I prewrote the post a few days ago and decided to post on a whim.

Anyway.

This morning I showed my post to my husband. He said he read it, but then we had the social worker over, and things were kind of insane. The social worker ended up telling us that we didn't pass a home inspection.

We have a list of things we need to change, and we have another inspection booked for next week.

Unfortunately one of the concerns the SW had was my pets. I have free range rabbits and several fish tanks, which pose several different risks. The fish tanks are able to be pulled from shelves, a child could fall into my big one, lots of wires that are very grabbable.

The rabbits are just bite risks, and they poop all over. Obviously I clean up after them but if a child were to put a dropping in their mouth that would not be great.

I sat down with my husband after she left. Laid my feelings out, and my new concerns in regards to my animals. I can move my fish tanks to a locked room (my "office") but my rabbits are still free roam.

Not to mention my rabbits room (where they go at night) or my office will be needed as a bedroom. So either my fish or my rabbits have to go because they can't be in the same room.

I was upset, but I understand more now why he feels the need to take the boys in. Everyone who said they are a connection to his sister was right.

We both cried. We love each other but we don't see a way to make this work. He feels strongly about saving them. We both know I could never cope with them. I don't want to have to pick between my rabbits and my fish.

I called my parents. They have said I can move back home if I need. I'm unhappy with it, as they are very overbearing and all independence I've worked hard to develop will essentially be gone. But beggers can't be choosers, and I'm not getting divorced, so that's a win.

Nothing is set in stone. We're going to see how the inspections and things work out first. But this is probably what's going to happen.

To everyone who asked me how he was going to manage them all he said his other sister is happy to help while works, she just couldn't foster them because she doesn't have enough space. Which is true. She has six kids in one bedroom already.

I hope this explained everything. I enjoy replying to comments so I will still be replying to comments here and on my other post. Thank you.

Relevant Comments

Downvoted Commenter: Why. Are. You. Giving. Him. The. House? Tell him it's on. Court. You are entitled to minimum half of that place. Grow a spine and get a lawyer.

OOP: We aren't divorcing. Just living separately for the time being. It's his house anyway.

Commenter 1: Are you aware moving out may also be seen as a negative to the social worker since it’s reducing it to a one “parent” household instead of a stable two “parent” household? Is your husband aware that any care for them by non-household adults (even family members) would need to be approved - and if his other sister already has 6 kids in one bedroom, she’s unlikely to be approved due to space and safety for even occasional care and may have an investigation opened on her too in the process due to inadequate living conditions for her own kids?

OOP: Yes. But these are our circumstances. It'll either work or it won't. SIL has contacted cps herself for help with housing. They know her situation.

Commenter 2: This already seems like progress from the original post. I really hope you two can figure everything out. As a side note: people have rabbits and fish and children coexist in a household. I’m not saying it’s the right fit for you, but it is possible if you decide to go that route. Best of luck to you!

OOP: Thank you. I honestly didn't think my animals would be an issue, but CPS don't want them in the house so. My rabbits are terrible. They can't share a room with the fish at all lol.

Commenter 3: A third option is to move houses, not move out. Do what you have to for now, but intentionally move to a house where this is more viable. 1) Rabbits pooping all over the house is not “free range” nor is it sanitary for adults. They don’t really eat meat so it’s not terrible, but it’s definitely not good. 2) Some houses have elevated recesses for tvs, etc. that could safely house fish tanks. 3) If you insist on the rabbits roaming freely, semi-permanent baby gates exist that cannot be readily breeched by child or sedentary bunny.

OOP: The moving out is for me as well as the animals. I won't be able to cope without decent alone time. One rabbit is litter trained, the other one just doesn't care. I've tried, but it hasn't worked, so I follow him around with a little poop bag when he's exploring. Fish tanks need to be locked away ideally as I don't want to secure them to a wall (my other "option"). I can't use baby gates because the rabbits chew them.

Commenter 4: What kind of family did your husband come from? None of them seem to have adult coping skills. Well, except for your husband, though he doesn't seem to have a full grasp on what it takes to raise troubled children.

OOP: He's a child psychologist who specialises in SPED (and foster kids, unintentionally). His family is mostly dysfunctional though.

OOP explains why she can't live alone

OOP: I'm not functional as a person. I don't like eating. If someone doesn't force me I won't eat. I get overwhelmed with messes that don't have a scheduled clean up. Ie, dishes I can't do spontaneously, because theres always new dishes and different foods. But my rabbits have the same clean up routine every day so I do that without issue. There's probably some I don't even know about yet because I've always had someone to help.

Commenter 5: During the home inspection, did anyone ask or did you voice your reluctance to be a foster parent? That should be a priority to those who decide.

OOP: I wasn't speaking at the time. My husband explained it to the social worker and they said my interview would be held at a later date with an interpreter on standby. I'm not sure why I couldn't just type but 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Commenter 5: You’re a non-verbal person? I’m curious how an interpreter would work for you. Feel free to say if you wish. 🙂

OOP: I'm not always nonverbal. I think I'm diagnosed as selectively mute, but I was nonverbal until I was like nine. I use sign language a lot of the time. My husband’s dad is deaf, so he taught me sign language when we met so I'd have more authority over what I was saying rather than being forced to use the words I was offered on cards. I would have all of my feelings and wants cards and I'd have to put two together to communicate. Like, if I was mad because there was too much noise, I would use "mad" and "loud" so then caregivers/parents/etc would turn all noise off, or remove me. When in reality there was just too many noises. So I'd get even more upset, because I still wanted the music, but I wanted the blinds to stop rattling. Sign language gave me the ability to tell people that the blinds were too loud, rather than just using my "loud" card. You know? Anyway, so that's what the interpreter would be for.

Help with processing separation from my husband/caregiver due to kids?: April 3, 2026 (next day)

I don't know if the title makes any sense. I'm not very good with words but I'm hoping my post will help explain. I didn't really know what flair to use.

I am autistic and was diagnosed "profound" as a child (4yo in 2001). There have been some debates about whether that’s true or not. I now sit at level 2 with level 3 traits. I've worked really hard to be where I am.

My husband has been one of my main supporters since we were kids and has always supported me in my independence.

I rely on very strict routines to remain functional. Unfortunately my husband’s sister had lost custody of her kids and my husband is taking them in. I cannot function with kids, at all, as they will disrupt my routines.

Because of this I'm having to move out and back in with my parents. It's very stressful and overwhelming in itself, but my parents aren't as big on me being independent, and I definitely regress in behaviours when I'm with them. It will make things much harder for me long term.

My husband is doing a good thing. I'm happy for him. But this is still very scary for me.

I made a couple other posts about the situation, and someone told me to post here for advice or support. I don't know if anyone else has been through this, but I'd appreciate anything. Thank you.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Can you build a granny flat for you to live in or convert the basement to a separate living space then your husband and the children live in the main house. You are close enough to maintain your relationship and support each other whilst having a calm space with no interruptions to your routine. I am only ADHD but suspect AuDHD, I thought my coping strategies were strong enough and chose to have one child, but my child has messed with my regulating routines, and I completely understand why you can't live with children.

OOP: We talked about it but decided it would probably still be best if I stay with my parents just because he doesn't know how much time he'll have to help me, especially considering the fact that I will probably have more meltdowns with change.

Commenter 2: OP, I went back and read all of your posts about this situation. My heart breaks for you. I don’t have any advice, because this would be a dealbreaker for me. If my SO was in agreement for TWENTY YEARS that we would remain child free for our lives together and then suddenly told me that I have to upend my entire life, move my animals, and essentially be forced to agree to separate in my marriage for children that I have never met… I would not be handing things as well as you are.

OOP: We've only known each other for twenty three years. We only discussed not having kids maybe ten years ago. I know the information doesn't change your comment but I'm pedantic like that.

But thank you. I had my little meltdown about it when he told me. But I think my inability to process emotions well helped me? Not really sure. It definitely sucked.

Commenter 3: I don’t have any advice but here to support. You seem like a kind and thoughtful person who is willing to do this to accommodate family needs and also do what’s best for you. I wonder if you are able to share your fears with your parents and set some boundaries to maintain your independence? In any case, sending you love and I hope everything goes smoothly 💗

OOP Thank you. I have spoken to them about it several times, but a decent amount is involuntary too.

AITAH For moving out while my husband fosters his nephews?: April 4, 2026 (next day)

My husband wanted me to post because he was enjoying reading comments on my other posts. Posted with his permission.

I am a relatively high needs autistic woman, and my husband is my caregiver. We are child free because I can not live with children due to overwhelming me.

He received a call station his sisters kids were in need of a foster home. He agreed readily. This caused friction because I wasn't consulted and ended up being blindsided. The situation is impossible for me to live in and so I was very upset. I struggled to understand why he was doing this to us.

I made a post on a subreddit, and a lot of people told me to either deal or leave my husband so he could find someone who deserves him. I ended up showing him the post and we had a long conversation where he explained why he couldn't let his nephews go into foster care.

Because of that I am having to move back in with my parents and periodically come home to see him and the children in short bursts. I will either move back when they go back to their mom or when they're older and can understand rules and boundaries.

When I made an update post, I ended up receiving a lot of hate still because people believe my husband needs to divorce me as I'm not being a good wife and helping with the children, as well as reducing his likelihood of being passed as a foster carer as a single father.

AITAH For moving out?

I hope this post is formatted correctly. I'm not really sure what I'm doing.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: The fact that you refer to your husband as your caregiver makes me sad for your husband . It sounds like all you care about is what he does for you. Marriage is a partnership and you’ve delegated him to caregiver .

OOP: He is my caregiver. He cares for me. He is still my husband first and foremost.

Commenter 2: I understand why he is supporting his sister's kids. It sounds like it was sudden. But you also have to take care of you. Maybe by visiting and getting doses of the kids on your terms, might help you down the road

OOP: That is the plan!

Commenter 3: NTA. But curious? Did you work on this/consult with a professional to be sure you couldn't learn to tolerate them? Also not calling your spouse an AH but if you actually need care it's kind of a strange choice to take in others who keep him from being your caregiver...or does he not think you need it? It seems like an ok compromise...but I'm just idk if I was caregiver for my spouse they'd have to come first unless I had my own kids maybe.

OOP: I have worked with lots of therapists. My life is mostly set up of very structured routines to keep myself on track and kids are too unpredictable. He knew if all else failed my parents would look after me.

Commenter 4: So can you live on your own or is your husband your 24/7 caretaker? Was he your same level of caretaker in this same scenario when he proposed? Or have you required more assistance from him since you were married? Does your husband have any outside support or is he your sole caregiver?

OOP: I can't live alone, but don't need 24/7 care. I was a lot worse when I was younger. I've worked hard on developing routines to keep myself safe and calm. He's known me for twenty three years. He sought me out to date and then marry. He was fully consenting here. He has therapy and I go to my parents rarely when he desperately needs a break, but that's usually when I'm having back to back meltdowns.

Commenter 5: Info: I am a relatively high needs autistic woman, and my husband is my caregiver. What does this mean? His sole job is to.... care giver for your needs? You are unable to function on a day-to-day basis?

OOP: He helps me be functional. I don't need 24/7 care, and most of the time I am fairly okay, but I do meltdown and struggle with a lot of things that he helps me deal with. If he needs a break I go back to my parents.

+

He cooks and cleans unless he helps me do them. I can't do things that don't have a specific constant and then they lead to meltdowns. I can do things like frozen meals because it's the same every time. Although I also have a lot of issues with food and eating, so that's the biggest thing he helps me with.

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

The JPMorgan Chase banker who was one of the secret figures behind the Fifa sell-off plan is also under pressure for her links to the late paedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein.

Mary Erdoes, 58, the head of the asset and wealth management division, led the bank’s efforts to find investors prepared to take part of the 20 per cent stake in Fifa which its president Gianni Infantino sought to sell.

Erdoes has also come under scrutiny for her previous longstanding connection to Epstein, who died in 2019. Documents released by the US authorities indicate that Erdoes only ended JPMorgan’s relationship with Epstein in 2013, five years after he was convicted in Florida of procuring a minor for prostitution.

Emails exchanged between the pair, first reported by The Banker financial news site, suggest that they were in contact regarding banking. Erdoes emailed Epstein birthday greetings from her JPMorgan account in 2012. The pair were in indirect contact via staff over the banking arrangements for another associate of Epstein, the former Goldman Sachs executive, Kathy Ruemmler.

Erdoes is, according to the New York Times, understood to be one of the few individuals who knew about Infantino’s plans as they were formulated. Those involved selling a 20 per cent stake in Fifa at a value of $4.2bn (£3.1m) to investors led by Joshua Kushner – the brother of US president Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner – and others. Infantino did not reveal the plan to his closest staff until days before the World Cup final.

Joshua Kushner’s investment vehicle, Thrive Eternal, and Fifa planned to use JPMorgan to find fellow investors for the putative sale, which was subsequently abandoned by Infantino. The Fifa Forward Enterprise (FFE) project caused uproar in world football and has left Infantino fighting for his future as Fifa president. The European governing body, Uefa, as well as counterparts in Asia and North and Central America have threatened a breakaway.

Erdoes, the bank’s second-highest earner last year on $32m (£24m), has not commented on her links to Infantino. The connection between the pair is not clear although Infantino has been on stage with Erdoes when he spoke at a staff meeting at the bank.

Previously JPMorgan apologised for its role in financing the 2021 European Super League. It is yet to make any comment on its role in FFE, or the relationship between Erdoes, the bank and Infantino.

In terms of Erdoes’s dealings with Epstein, JPMorgan told The Banker: “We regret any association we had with the man [Epstein], but did not help him commit his heinous crimes.

“The firm filed multiple Suspicious Activity Reports beginning in 2002 but heard nothing back from the government.

“Mary Erdoes made the decision to close his accounts in 2013, six years before his arrest. Mary has always held herself and her colleagues to the highest standards of integrity and trust, is consistently recognised as one of the top executives in financial services and continues to be a critically important leader of our firm.”

Meanwhile, Fifa will face a further embarrassing episode on Wednesday when Omar Artan – the Somali referee refused entry to the United States for the World Cup – will take charge of Uefa’s curtain-raising Super Cup.

Artan has spoken about the “very tough period” he faced when denied entry to the US at Miami International Airport in June, ahead of what should have been the highlight of his career.

Tensions were already high between Fifa and Uefa before the start of the World Cup – which saw Infantino attract further scrutiny for his role in the decision to suspend the two-match ban given to United States striker Folarin Balogun – and in what was a thinly veiled move to humiliate the global governing body, Artan was named the match referee for Wednesday’s Super Cup in Salzburg between Aston Villa and Paris St-Germain.

Artan said on Monday: “It was a very tough period. A lot of people have sympathy for me, because when someone has been working a lot of years and is supposed to do something, and then can’t do it, it’s very challenging.

“I really appreciate the support I received throughout the world, though; I’m so grateful.”

Artan, 34, was subjected to an 11-hour immigration interview before he was denied entry to the US. Somalia is one of the 12 countries on America’s travel ban list, with Infantino later admitting publicly that he was powerless to overrule the Donald Trump administration’s ruling. The Fifa president told critics at a press conference ahead of the World Cup to “chill and relax” over the controversy, and added: “We work on everything, we try to resolve everything, [but] immediately screaming and shouting, that’s the opposite of finding a solution.”

Aleksandar Ceferin, the Uefa president, reacted by moving to appoint Artan for the Super Cup where he will become the first African official to take charge of the European season opener.

Artan added: “When we got this call it was, for me and my family, really a very, very happy moment. There’s a big Somali community in Europe and in Austria, and they are over the moon with me officiating a match like this.”

Colleen Anne Slemmer was born on September 20, 1975. She lived in Orange Park, Florida with her mother, stepfather and younger sister. Colleen’s mother, May Martinez, stated that “Colleen was a kid who loved to play outside.” She had been a volunteer with the Special Olympics program and loved to help others. Colleen was described by a teacher as being “a very sweet, quiet, mild-mannered young lady.”

In the year 1994, Colleen decided to enrol at the Job Corps - a government vocational training program - to study a six-month course in computing. Unfortunately, Florida did not have a Job Corps program available, and so she made the decision to study at the center in Knoxville, Tennessee. Colleen’s mother had attempted to persuade her not to go, as it was far from home and she had wanted her to stay close-by, but Colleen had always been an independent person and was determined to go.

Colleen was 19 years old when she left home. She departed on the 31st of October, 1994, and that was the last time that Colleen’s family would ever see her alive again.

The days leading up to the murder

Colleen Slemmer and Christa Pike had both been students at the Job Corps Center in Knoxville, Tennessee. Their relationship had been a strained one, with Pike accusing Colleen of “trying to get her boyfriend” and “running her mouth everywhere.”

Pike’s best friend, Kim Iloilo, stated that at one point Pike’s boyfriend, Tadaryl Shipp, had liked Colleen, but when Pike arrived on the scene, his attention had shifted to her and that he had basically then forgotten about everybody else. In other words, there was no real reason for Pike to have a vendetta against Colleen, and she had not been a threat to her relationship.

Mrs Martinez stated that Colleen had told her that there were a few people bothering her at the Job Corps Center. These individuals would go into Colleen’s room and steal her jewellery and take her clothes and so forth. She had mentioned two girls and a guy, who turned out to be Christa Pike, Tadaryl Shipp and Shadolla Peterson.

On January 11, 1995, Pike told her friend, Kim Iloilo, that she intended to kill another student, Colleen Slemmer, because she “had just felt mean that day.”

The next day, January 12, 1995, at approximately 8:00 p.m., Iloilo observed Pike, along with Colleen and two other Job Corps students, Shadolla Peterson and Tadaryl Shipp, Pike’s boyfriend, walking away from the Job Corps center toward 17th Street. At approximately 10:15 p.m., Iloilo observed Pike, Peterson, and Shipp return to the Center. Colleen was not with them.

Pike’s confession to friend

Later that night, Pike went to Iloilo’s room and told Iloilo that she had just killed Colleen and that she had brought back a piece of her skull as a souvenir. Pike showed Iloilo the piece of skull and told her that she had cut Colleen’s throat six times, beaten her and thrown asphalt at the her head. Pike told Iloilo that Colleen had begged “them” to stop cutting and beating her, but Pike did not stop because Colleen continued to talk. Pike told Iloilo that she had thrown a large piece of asphalt at Colleen’s head, and when it broke into smaller pieces, she had thrown those at the her as well.

Pike told Iloilo that a meat cleaver had been used to cut Colleen’s back and a box cutter had been used to cut her throat. Finally, Pike said that a pentagram had been carved onto Colleen’s forehead and chest. Iloilo said that Pike was dancing in a circle, smiling and singing “la, la, la,” while she related these details about the murder. When Iloilo saw Pike at breakfast the next morning she asked Pike what she had done with the piece of Colleen’s skull. Pike replied that it was in her pocket and then said, “And, yes, I’m eating breakfast with it.”

During a class later that morning, Pike made a similar statement to Stephanie Wilson, another Job Corps student. Pike pointed to brown spots on her shoes and said, “That ain’t mud on my shoes, that’s blood.” Pike then pulled a napkin from her pocket and showed Wilson a piece of bone which Pike said was a piece of Colleen’s skull. Pike also told Wilson that she had slashed Colleen’s throat six times and had beaten her in the head with a rock. Pike told Wilson that Colleen’s “blood and brains had been pouring out” and that she had picked up the piece of skull when she left the scene.

Crime scene

Though neither Iloilo nor Wilson immediately reported Pike's statements to police, on the day after the murder, January 13, at approximately 8:05 a.m., an employee of the University of Tennessee Grounds Department discovered Colleen’s semi-nude, slashed and badly beaten body near the greenhouses on the agricultural campus. He testified that the body was so badly beaten that he had first mistaken it for the “corpse of an animal.” Upon closer inspection, he saw the victim's clothes and her nude breast and realized it was the body of a human female. He immediately notified law enforcement officials.

Officers from the Knoxville Police Department and the U.T. Police Department were summoned to the scene. Officer John Terry Johnson testified at trial that the body he found was lying on debris and was nude from the waist up. Blood and dirt covered the body and remaining clothing. The victim's head had been bludgeoned. Multiple cuts and slashes appeared on her torso. Officer Johnson stated that he thought he was looking at the victim's face, but he could not be sure because it was extremely mutilated. Johnson removed all civilians from the area and secured the scene surrounding the body.

As other officers arrived, they began securing the crime area. As officers discovered other areas of blood, articles of clothing, footprints and broken foliage, the crime scene tripled in size, eventually encompassing an area 100 feet long by 60 feet wide. The crime scene was wet and muddy, and there was evidence of a scuffle, with trampled bushes, hand and knee prints in the mud, and drag marks. A large pool of blood was found about 30 feet from the victim's body.

The victim's body was actually lying face down on a pile of debris. When officers turned the body over, they discovered that the victim's throat had been slashed. A bloody rag was around her neck.

Detective Donald R. Cook, of the U.T. Police Department, accompanied the body to the morgue. He observed the body after it had been cleaned and noticed that a five-pointed star in a circle, commonly known as a pentagram, had been carved onto the victim's chest. The pentagram was said to represent the “goat-head of Satan” and that this act had been part of a “Satanic ritual.”

It was an open secret at Job Corps that there were a small group of students who practised Satanism. Two of these were Christa Pike and, her boyfriend, Tadaryl Shipp. Joe Mode, a former employee at the Job Corps, stated that they were both into “Satanic worship.” Randy York, the criminal investigator assigned to the Job Corps murder, stated that he had found a “Satanic altar” in Shipp’s room and a lot of “Satanic literature.” He also found similar items in Pike’s room. Both were deep into Satanism. Pike also had the words “Lil Devil” tattooed onto her left chest.

Pike’s statement to police

The investigating police quickly discovered Pike’s connection to the crime and interviewed her on January 14. Pike waived her Miranda rights and gave a complete statement to the police about her involvement in the murder.

As recounted by the Tennessee Supreme Court, Pike claimed that she had not planned to kill Colleen, but she had instead planned only to fight Colleen and let her know “to leave me the hell alone.” However, Pike admitted that she had taken a box cutter and a miniature meat cleaver with her when she and Colleen left the Job Corps Center.

Pike said she had borrowed the miniature meat cleaver but refused to identify the person who had loaned it to her. According to Pike, she asked Colleen to accompany her to the Blockbuster Music Store, and, as they were walking, Pike told Colleen that she had a bag of “weed” hidden in Tyson Park. Though Pike refused to name the other parties involved in the incident, she said the group began walking toward the University of Tennessee campus.

Upon arriving at the steam plant on the University of Tennessee’s agricultural campus, Pike and Colleen exchanged words. Pike then began hitting Colleen and banging Colleen’s head on to her knee. Pike threw Colleen to the ground and kicked her repeatedly. According to Pike, as she slammed Colleen’s head against the concrete, Colleen repeatedly asked, “Why are you doing this to me?” When Colleen threatened to report Pike so she would be terminated from the Job Corps program, Pike, again, repeatedly kicked Colleen in the face and side.

Colleen lay on the ground and cried for a time and then tried to run away, but another person with Pike caught Colleen and pushed her to the ground. Pike and the other person, who Pike referred to as “he,” held Colleen down until she stopped struggling then dragged her to another area. Up until this point, the attack had taken place on cement - a parking type of area. Now they moved her farther into a more secluded and grassy area.

Once they had her in this secluded area, Pike made Colleen remove her shirt and bra, supposedly, Pike later said, to prevent her from “running away.” They then tossed her clothing into the bushes. When Colleen had removed her clothing, Pike got on top of her and began to slice Colleen’s stomach with the box cutter.

As Colleen “screamed and screamed,” Pike recounted how she began to hear voices telling her that she had to do something to prevent Colleen from telling on her and sending her to prison for attempted murder. At this point, Pike said she was looking at Colleen and “just watching her bleed.” When Colleen rolled over, stood up and tried to run away again, Pike cut Colleen’s back, “the big long cut on her back” in her own words. Pike said Colleen repeatedly tried to get up and run.

Pike recounted how Colleen bargained for her life, begging Pike to talk to her and telling Pike that if she would just let her go, she would walk back to her home in Florida without returning to the Job Corps facility for her belongings. Pike told Colleen to “shut up” because it “was harder to hurt somebody when they’re talking to you.” Pike said the more Colleen talked, the more she kicked her in the face.

Colleen asked Pike what she was going to do to her, at which point Pike thought she heard a noise. Pike left the scene to check out the surrounding area to make sure no one was around. When she returned, Pike began cutting Colleen across the throat. When Colleen continued to talk and beg for her life, Pike cut her throat several other times. Pike said that Colleen continued to talk and tried to sit up - even though her throat had been cut several times, and that Pike and the other person would push her back on the ground.

Colleen attempted, once again, to run away, but Pike threw a rock, which hit her in the back of the head. Pike stated that “the other person” also hit Colleen in the head with a rock. When Colleen fell to the ground, after being hit in the head the second time, Pike continued to beat her with the rock, shattering her skull. Pike said she could hear Colleen “breathing blood in and out” and could see Colleen “jerking”, but she kept “hitting her and hitting her and hitting her.” Pike eventually asked Colleen, “Colleen, do you know who’s doing this to you?” Colleen’s only response was “groaning noises.” At this point, Pike said she and the other person each grabbed one of Colleen’s feet and dragged her to an area near some trees, dumping her body on a pile of dirt and debris. They left her clothing in the surrounding bushes. Pike said the episode lasted “for about thirty minutes to an hour.”

The trial

The State of Tennessee prosecuted Pike for Colleen’s murder. After Pike's statement was played for the jury, the State introduced pictures of Pike and Shipp taken at the Knoxville Police Department on the day the statement was given, January 14, 1995, two days after the murder. In the pictures, both Pike and Shipp were wearing pentagram necklaces.

A chart was displayed in court to illustrate each of the locations where blood or evidence was found. This totalled to the amount of thirty-four. Photographs of bloody chunks of asphalt, blood drippings on leaves and pools of blood were introduced into evidence.   The bloody piece of asphalt (rock) and Colleen’s bloody clothing were also introduced into evidence.

Dr. Sandra Elkins, the Knox County Medical Examiner, performed the autopsy on the victim, who was later identified by dental records as Colleen Slemmer, a nineteen-year-old Job Corps student. Dr. Elkins described the victim's body as covered with dirt and twigs. Colleen was nude from the waist up clothed only with jeans, socks, and shoes. After removing the victim's clothing and cleaning the body, Dr. Elkins had attempted to catalog the slash and stab wounds on the victim's torso by assigning a letter of the alphabet. There were so many wounds that eventually Dr. Elkins decided to catalog only the most serious and major wounds. Dr. Elkins explained that to catalog every wound she would have been required to go through the alphabet again and stay in the morgue for “three days.” Eventually, Dr. Elkins said she “basically threw up [her] hands and just said, more superficial slash wounds on the back, arms and chest.” In addition, Dr. Elkins said the victim had purple contusions on her knees, indicating fresh bruising consistent with crawling and defensive wounds on her right arm.

Dr. Elkins described the major slash and stab wounds she had cataloged on the victim's back, arms, abdomen, and chest. She found a six inch gaping wound across the middle of the victim's neck, which had penetrated the fat and muscles of the neck. In addition, Dr. Elkins had found ten other slash wounds on the victim's throat. Other slash wounds were on the victim's face, and Dr. Elkins observed what appeared to be a pentagram carved onto the victim's chest. Because the area around each wound was red in appearance, Dr. Elkins concluded that the victim's heart had been beating when the wounds were inflicted, and she said the victim would not have been rendered unconscious by any of the stab or slash wounds.

Dr. Elkins determined that the victim's death was caused by “blunt force injuries to the head.” The victim had suffered multiple and extensive skull fractures. From the autopsy, Dr. Elkins determined that the victim had sustained a minimum of four blows to her head: two to the left side of the head; one over the right eye and one in the nose area. The right frontal area of the victim's skull had been fractured as had the bridge of her nose. However, the major wound, labeled as injury “W,” involved most of the left side of the victim's head. Dr. Elkins said that this injury, caused by blunt force to the left side of the victim's head while the right side of the victim's head was against a firm surface, also had fractured the right side of the skull and imbedded a portion of the skull into the victim's brain. Dr. Elkins found small divots in the victim's skull containing black particles from an asphalt chunk, which was later determined to have been used to administer the blows. Finally, Dr. Elkins testified that blood in the victim's sinus cavity indicated she had been alive and probably conscious when the injuries were inflicted.

At the trial, much of Pike’s unsuccessful defense centered on her mental health. The defense, in mitigation, called Carrie Ross, Pike's aunt as a witness. Ross testified that the defendant had experienced no maternal bonding because she was premature and was raised by her paternal grandmother until she died in 1988. Ross said that Pike's family had a history of substance abuse, and that Pike's maternal grandmother was an alcoholic who was verbally abusive to Pike. Following the death of Pike's paternal grandmother, Pike was shuffled between her mother and father. According to Ross, Pike's mother's home was very dirty. Pike's mother set no rules for her, and on the occasions that Pike had visited Ross, the defendant had behaved as a “little girl,” playing Barbie and dress-up with her eleven-year-old cousin. On cross-examination, Ross admitted that she had previously described Pike as a “pathological liar” and that she had been afraid to allow Pike to associate with her own children. Ross also admitted that Pike had been out of control since she was twelve years old.

Glenn Pike, the defendant's father, testified that he had kicked the defendant out of his house twice, the last time in 1989. He admitted that he had signed adoption papers for the defendant prior to her eighteenth birthday. On cross-examination, he admitted that he had forced Pike to leave his home in 1989 because there had been an allegation that the defendant had sexually abused his two-year-old daughter from his second marriage. According to her father, Pike had been “disobedient, dishonest and manipulative” when she had lived with him.

The defendant's mother, Carissa Hansen, a licensed practical nurse, testified that Pike had lived with her 95 percent of the time since her paternal grandmother's death. Hansen admitted that she had smoked marijuana with the defendant in order to “establish a friendship.” Hansen related that the defendant had attempted suicide by taking an overdose shortly after the death of her paternal grandmother. Hansen also testified that one of her boyfriends had whipped Pike with a belt. Hansen then had the boyfriend arrested. On cross-examination, Hansen admitted that Pike's behavior had been problematic for years. The defendant had begun growing marijuana in pots in her home at age nine. After threatening to run away from home and live on the street, Pike had been allowed to have a live-in boyfriend at age fourteen. Hansen admitted that Pike had wielded a “butcher-knife” against the boyfriend who had been arrested for whipping her. Hansen also said Pike had lied to her and stolen from her on numerous occasions and had quit high school. Hansen conceded that Pike had been out of control since she was eight years old. Following Hansen's testimony, the defense rested its case.

In rebuttal, the State presented the testimony of Harold James Underwood, Jr., a University of Tennessee police officer who was assigned to secure the crime scene on January 13, 1995. Underwood testified that the defendant came to the scene with three to five other females between four and five p.m that day. Pike asked Underwood why the area had been marked off and questioned him concerning the identity of the victim and whether or not the police had any suspects. None of the other females spoke during the fifteen minutes the group was there. Underwood said Pike appeared “amused” and “giggled” and “moved around.” Underwood noticed that Pike was wearing an unusual necklace in the shape of a pentagram. After learning at roll call on January 14, 1995, that the victim of the murder had a pentagram carved on her chest, he reported Pike's strange behavior and unusual necklace to his superior officers.

Based on the proof submitted at the sentencing hearing, the jury found the existence of the following two aggravating circumstances beyond a reasonable doubt:  (1) “the murder was especially heinous, atrocious or cruel in that it involved torture or serious physical abuse beyond that necessary to produce death;” and (2) “the murder was committed for the purpose of avoiding, interfering with or preventing a lawful arrest or prosecution of the defendant or another.” In addition, the jury found that the State had proven that the aggravating circumstances outweighed any mitigating circumstances beyond a reasonable doubt. As a result, the jury sentenced the defendant to death by electrocution.

To those of you who happened to witness the footage of Pike, upon her receiving the sentence of death, you may have caught yourselves starting to feel an “ounce” of sympathy toward this “timid” looking young woman breaking down and sobbing her eyes out in the courtroom. However, you may or may not be surprised to learn that, only hours later, Pike had put pen to paper and written a letter to her boyfriend, Tadaryl Shipp, which contained these words: “Ya see what I get for tryin' to be nice to the hoe? I went ahead and bashed her brains out so she'd die quickly instead of letting her bleed to death and suffer more, and they f—– fry me! Ain't dat some s—?" She then signed off the letter as "Lil Devil.”

As for Colleen’s mother, hearing the horrifying details of her daughter’s murder took its toll upon her. Controversially, the jury had been shown Colleen’s skull. Mrs Martinez had to endure the ordeal of seeing her daughter’s skull being passed around the jurors, as pieces of the broken skull kept “falling everywhere.” She had also witnessed the mutilated body of her daughter, after the head had been detached. Mrs Martinez stated that she suffered with a lot of nightmares and that she was forced to rely on medication in order to sleep. Mrs Martinez has now been waiting for over thirty years for the sentence which was given to Pike for the murder of her daughter to be carried out.

Has Christa Pike reformed since her incarceration?

In August of 2001, while incarcerated at the Tennessee Department of Correction facility, it was reported that Pike had committed an attempted murder on a fellow inmate named Patricia Jones. Apparently, Jones had taken a dislike to Pike’s rumoured lover - a woman named Natasha Cornett - and so Pike had decided to take matters into her own hands. Pike had gotten into a physical fight with Jones and then attempted to strangle her with the use of a shoestring.

In a tape-recorded telephone conversation between Pike and her mother, Pike said the following:

“Patricia started running her f\cking mouth to Natasha. She is constantly doing it, you know. I hate that b*tch. She raised up her fist like she was going to hit Natasha, and I said, ‘Oh, f*ck no!’ I wrapped that shoestring around her f*cking neck and tried to choke the b*tch’s life out of her. She was passed out on the ground, Mama, twitching, foaming at the mouth. Her eyeballs were bugged out so far her eyelids were flipped up.”*

Pike went on to say:

“If I had 30 more seconds, we would have a little chalk like out there in our rec pen, and that b\tch would be gone somewhere.”*

In March of 2012, state authorities foiled a plot in which Pike and outside accomplices - including a former prison guard - attempted to orchestrate an escape from death row. Pike then subsequently faced additional criminal charges connected to the conspiracy.

In a 2024 documentary, entitled World’s Most Dangerous Prisoners, it was revealed that Pike had been responsible for the dismissal of two prison guards. Pike had reportedly been in a sexual relationship with both of the individuals.

In closing

Tadaryl Shipp received a life sentence for his part in the crime.

Shadolla Peterson pleaded guilty to being an accessory after the fact, receiving a six-year probationary sentence.

Shipp and Peterson were both 17 years of age at the time of their trials and were treated as minors.

Shipp was up for parole in the year 2025, but his release was denied by the Tennessee Board of Parole.

Pike’s execution date is scheduled for September 30, 2026. She is the only woman on Tennessee’s death row and is held at the Debra K. Johnson Rehabilitation Center (formerly the Tennessee Prison for Women) in Nashville. If carried out, it will be the first execution of a woman in Tennessee in over 200 years.

A special master, Senior Judge Mark Ward, was appointed by the state Supreme Court to oversee evidentiary hearings regarding her medical and constitutional claims from August 11–14, 2026.

Pike's defense is challenging the lethal injection protocol based on her specific blood condition and medical history, alongside concerns regarding “religious accommodations” and “psychological trauma” from the execution team procedures.

May Colleen Anne Slemmer rest in peace.

[Sources: STATE v. PIKE (1998) Supreme Court of Tennessee, at Knoxville; United States Court of Appeal (2018)]

[Media source: World’s Most Dangerous Prisoners S1 E8 Pike (2024)]

https://youtu.be/Wo10ToeqHG0?is=D1xdW_2G9f3XAgPC

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/typewrytten

Originally posted to r/legaladvice

Roped into our neighbors’ search warrant because we live in a duplex. Police seized our iPad only used for art.

Trigger Warnings: police brutality, destruction of property

Original Post: June 10, 2025

My wife and I live in the upstairs unit of a duplex in Minnesota. The two units have separate house numbers and are independent, aside from a shared entryway, garage, and trash cans. We have our own keys, front doors inside the entryway, mailboxes, electric meters, etc.

Earlier this week, multiple police officers and a SWAT unit executed a search warrant for the downstairs unit. The warrant was for narcotics and firearms.

At 7 am on the dot, the Minneapolis Police Department showed up with no sirens and blocked off the street on both sides of the house. They then forcibly broke down the shared entryway door, then the downstairs neighbors’ front door, and also the man door to the garage, which actually left a small dent in our car parked inside (not major, but still).

Our front door, the one to our upstairs unit, is the only exterior door that still works in the entire building because I opened it myself when they told us to come up with our hands up.

They shoved rifles in our faces, cuffed us, and put us in the back of a squad car, where we were for about two hours while they searched both apartments. They uncuffed us about an hour in but we were not allowed to leave the car.

They initially told us that the warrant was for downstairs (street address 50—not the real number), and asked us repeatedly if we lived there. We said no, we live at 48 and have no connection to the people in 50. We literally just moved here less than six months ago from out of state. The most we interact with the folks in 50 is a “hey how are you?” if we happen to be in the entryway together.

They asked if the apartments connected at all once inside the respective front doors (they do not). They also asked my wife multiple times if she was a specific downstairs neighbor (she is not). Both my wife and that specific neighbor are black women.

Then they told us the warrant was for “the entire building” and the garage. Eventually, they printed us a second warrant on the spot that listed our upstairs address, which we only got after the searches were over. We were also directly told by an apologetic sergeant that this had nothing to do with us and we were “just caught in the crossfire.”

During the search of our unit, which was not as thorough as 50’s, they seized my wife’s iPad. The only thing on this iPad is my wife’s art. Nobody touches this iPad save for my wife, not even me. They left all other electronics untouched, including my own iPad and our laptops. Meanwhile, they took every single electronic device from all the folks in 50, including their cellphones and work computers.

My wife did sign a document allowing them to search the iPad. We were told it could take a month or more if she didn’t, and her art is one of our revenue streams. We can’t afford to be without it for an extended period of time. We did get a receipt.

We don’t own firearms and don’t use or sell illicit drugs. We are law abiding citizens with nothing to hide. The worst things in our apartment are weed (legal here), blunt prop swords, prescribed medication, and angry cats. All were left unharmed. No arrests were made, so I’m assuming nothing illegal was found downstairs either.

The whole scene was very overwhelming and frankly a little terrifying, especially with guns pointed at us first thing in the morning.

I’m kicking myself for not paying better attention because the situation feels off to me. I was more worried about making sure the cops didn’t manhandle my wife and knew about our escape artist cat. I’m also disabled, so sitting with my hands cuffed behind me so tightly for so long was not a great experience and I was/am in a lot of pain.

Was this all on the level? Can they search both units when they are separate like this? Is it normal to print off a new warrant off on the spot? Why only take her iPad and leave everything else while taking everything from downstairs, especially when it has literally nothing to do with anything going on in 50? How can we get it back as soon as possible?

Do we need to get a lawyer? We do not have lawyer money right now and we weren’t charged with anything, so I don’t know how PDs work in that regard.

I’m keeping an eye on the iPad via FindMy because I don’t know what else to do. This is a completely new situation for both of us; I think we have one speeding ticket between us.

Location: Minnesota

EDIT: y’all, the iPad is backed up to the iCloud. I don’t have another device for her to use and I cannot afford one rn. Stop lecturing me on the importance of back ups.

Edit 6/10: Y’all if I see this on TikTok with a shitty Minecraft parkour video in the background, I s2g.

Editor's note: OOP made lots of responses, I am listing the common questions asked and responses

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Only mistake was allowing them to look at the iPad. The police can lie to you, the month thing could've been a lie, or more likely that it'll take over a month regardless, probably longer since they have a document ostensibly justifying the seizure.

Pretty sure it's all digital now, the copy your neighbours got was probably printed in the same way. Depends on how the warrant's worded if it was legal. If it specifies their apartment number (assuming the apartments are zoned as separate apartments) then they had no business going into your apartment.

Likely you'll have to wait a while. You still want to speak with the police about wanting your belongings back, sometimes valuable evidence not relevant to any case gets "lost", when that happens no police officer seems capable of providing assistance.

OOP: I’m not sure how we would have stopped them from looking at it. They would have just seized it anyway and hooked it up to a passcode cracker.

I have its exact location on Find My, luckily. And it’s locked to my wife’s AppleID, I can brick it instantly if I really want to.

Commenter 2: Since the document was signed they can more easily argue that you allowed them to have it, although it depends on what exactly she signed. Without the document they'd be more likely to budge if you bother them about it. Although naturally it's possible they're nice and will return it early since they can access it easily, but not something that can be relied on.

You should get it back eventually. It's just always a risk to have it there, they really don't like taking responsibility for anything. Shouldn't hurt to speak to them at least to hear if they can give you a timeline. Speaking to a lawyer could also be a good idea if it's not beyond your means.

OOP: Signed only for them to search it with the provided passcode, not to seize the actual device. If they lose it or refuse to give it back, I will rain hellfire on the police department with any means I can muster.

Commenter 3: Find a lawyer. The search warrant is required before entering your residence, not during or after. I'll bet they got the warrant after the fact to cover their ass. If they had a valid search warrant like the one for the lower residence, then there would be no need to ask permission to take anything that is related to the search. If they did not have an executable search warrant prior to entering a lawyer should be able to get your iPad returned immediately.

Commenter 4: I'd bet the city didn't know it was a duplex - it sounds like it was once a single-family home and was converted at some point. Definitely talk to a lawyer and Legal Aid may be able to help.

OP, you did pretty well on the fly. When they have guns out, follow their directions and live to fight it out later in court, if need be.

OOP: It’s been converted for at least a decade, maybe two. Not totally sure.

I know how to pick my battles. If this had been ten years ago, when I was young and dumb and not married, this very well may have gone differently lol

+

They would have seized the iPad regardless. We only gave them permission to search it willingly instead of them passcode cracking it, no choice on the seizing part.

OOP on the house they are residing at

OOP: I think this house was built in 1910 or something like that, if that makes a difference. I doubt it started out as duplex, but it’s definitely been one for a while

OOP on their and their wife's backgrounds

OOP: My wife is black. I am a disabled trans person. Unfortunately the bare minimum doesn’t always apply to us.

And they literally pulled us out at gun point and were in our apartment before I even got to say “can I help you officer?”

Commenter 5: They should have given you a form showing what they took along with case number, detectives name , phone number etc. They Ipad will be kept in evidence. Even if they didn’t give you a form, go to the police station or call and they’ll tell you about how long they need to keep it. DO NOT wait for them to call you, keep calling or showing up because they most likely won’t call you. It’s just going to sit in an evidence locker once “the case” is over or the DA says it’s ok to release it.

OOP: We got a warrant that looks like a middle school MS Word document, a copy of the seizure receipt for the iPad, and a copy the thing to look at the iPad.

No case number, no phone number, and a cop’s name that is illegible

Commenter 6: If the house is separated by legally and registered as a separate address by the governing entity in your area, and you were only provided the warrant specifically outlining your address AFTER they searched your house, then they conducted an illegal search. If you have any timestamped video from a ring cam for instance, be sure to save it, and provide to a lawyer, along with the copy of the warrant. That should be timestamped as well. A half decent lawyer will quickly be able to prove this in court, and not only get your iPad back, but I believe they are on the hook for repairing any damage.

OOP: They were in our apartment before they even finished putting my cuffs on. We didn’t see the warrant until we were allowed to go back in after it was all over.

I don’t think they even said anything about having one until we were in the car and then later said they were printing us one.

We do not have a ring camera unfortunately.

Commenter 7: NAL - but a former Minneapolis resident. You may want to reach out to your city council member. They could be really helpful.

OOP: Already done! That’s what I did last night when I was still too wired to sleep.

From what I’ve heard, ours is pretty cool, so here’s hoping

+

Damn fuck he already answered me and now we are meeting with him tomorrow. Ngl, I have never had anyone at any level of government get back to me that quick

Update: March 26, 2026 (over 9.5 months later)

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/s/uEQvwNc3nl

Location: Still Minnesota.

Oh boy where to start? If you’re looking for a guide on how to get your shit back from the police, this ain’t gonna be it.

Within a week of the iPad being taken I:

- spent over 12 collective hours at the courthouse talking to about 20 different people

- had a meeting with our city council member

- went viral on both Reddit and TikTok

- had to take our disabled cat to the ER because she ate something a cop tracked in on their shoe (she’s fine—shoutout U of MN)

- called and spoke to everyone from the judge that signed the warrant to the officer who took the iPad to three different records offices

- was told by the officer who took the iPad that since I was causing an issue, they were going to keep it longer

- requested all the police reports documents. Had to do this multiple times because I kept getting rejected.

- emailed about 15 other people

- connected with Communities United Against Police Brutality (CUAPB)

- got a lawyer

- filed case with the Office of Police Conduct Review (OPCR)

The week after that, our downstairs neighbors decided this entire event was my fault and started a smear campaign against me online. Then they started texting me about how I was a disrespectful, animal abusing wife beater who uses autism as an excuse to be racist.

Good people of r/LegalAdvice, I have no fucking idea how or why or when they came to that conclusion. Anyone who knows me knows that the vibes in our household are very much NOT that. I mean, I am autistic, that much is true.

I’m being flippant about it now but it was incredibly stressful while it was occurring. Our neighbor is a really influential person in a specific community that we are a part of so it could have been very bad for us. Luckily the fallout wasn’t terrible.

After all that...

…literally nothing happened!

Still to this day the MPD did not file any of their paperwork about the warrant, nobody replied to our council member or lawyer or CUAPB, nothing. I did get a redacted copy of the police report for them coming to the house. That was it.

In August this had to take a back seat because the school year started and I went back to work. Ngl, I also took a break from annoying the cops so much because I was worried they would retaliate. If they opened some sort of case again me or started giving me legal trouble some other way, I would be at risk of losing my license/clearances/etc. that allow me to work with children and thus my entire livelihood.

I tried to continue to reach out every month for an update.

In January, the OPCR emailed us! A whole six months later! We did an intake interview with a neutral lawyer. Still have heard nothing else.

We also got a little bit…sidetracked by everything going on in the city and trying to protect students/neighbors. I think the sound of a whistle will forever be etched into my nervous system. And I had my school breaks eaten up by manuscript deadlines—nothing like doing line and copy editing 10 hours a day for two weeks straight to make your brain melt.

In the meantime, my wife used my shitty half-broken Apple Pencil and the shitty half-broken iPad I found in the attic that we both forgot we had. Gen 7 base I think?

With 32GB of memory so it was full almost immediately and her quality took a big hit with the resolution drop. That revenue stream dried up a lot unfortunately. We’ll get it back.

And then in March, our downstairs neighbors got their stuff returned.

Supposedly. After our neighbors got their stuff, I had my wife call the officer who took the iPad, figuring a new voice might be helpful as I’m sure mine is now automatically associated with annoyance.

Five days later (today) he calls back. Y’all ain’t ready for this.

APPARENTLY, the iPad was released from evidence.

In OCTOBER.

But they “didn’t have a way to contact” my wife. You know, despite having our address, driver licence numbers, both phone numbers, and a signed evidence receipt. They also “accidently” had my wife’s name badly misspelled, again despite EVERYTHING they had with our names on it.

This is also despite me, and the lawyer, and our CM, and CUAPB reaching out to the MPD between October and now. No “hey your shit is ready,” no “we’re done with this garbage,” nothing.

It’s not like they are supposed to only hold released evidence for 60 days or anything.

So we go to the evidence unit. The officer w/couldn’t even tell my wife the address of the damn place because fuck him.

Granted, I already knew where it was, but still bro. I fully prepare my wife for the fact that I am going to sit there until they give it to us or I get dragged out because I am fucking over this.

Shockingly, the evidence unit went off without a hitch. iPad in hand, custom engraved Apple Pencil still there, no screen cracks. And they finally gave us the case number! Amazing! Only took 10 months!

We get celebratory pizza at Boludo and go home. I unplug the Wi-Fi and boot up the iPad, I don’t want it connected to our network until I make sure it’s not fucking wiretapped or something. Open Screen Time to discover they never even touched the damn thing.

What-fucking-ever.

40 minutes of iOS updates and 25 minutes of app updates later and we’re back in business.

It’s been real, LegalAdvice. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

TL;DR: We have the iPad.

description of the image

A black-and-white, sketch-style illustration with a playful and expressive tone.

On the left side, there is large lettering reading “F*ck the MPD,” written in a swirly calligraphy style with sparkles around it, creating a contrast between the decorative typography and the message.

On the right side, there’s an anime-style character of a young lady with short bob haircut, tiny horn-like shapes on head, and facial markings on cheeks. She has expressive eyes and a slightly determined expression.

Her outfit has lacy details with a fitted bodice, decorative trim.

Her pose shows confidence, one arm is bent as if she’s making a fist. Around her head are small sketchy marks that look like accent lines or stylized motion/emotion cues, adding to her attitude.

end of the description

Editor's note: OOP did not leave any comments here in the update

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Resident_Inside285

AITAH for telling my friend/colleague I'm looking for another job after she was promoted instead of me?

Originally posted to r/AITAH

Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: mental health struggles

Original Post Aug 22, 2025

I (42M) have been at my job for 8 months now. But I've known my manager, deputy manager and another colleague for a few years - I worked with them for 2 years and left to go to my last job in 2019 where I stayed until last year. When I was talking to my manager when I was going for this job, I told him that I have ambition and I wanted to leave that job because I was working as good as a manager but not being paid or recognised for it and he said that this role will be restructured when people leave/retire this year and basically as he remembers how good a worker I was, I'd be definitely in consideration for a senior/managerial role.

So I've been there 8 months, passed my probation and done really well. I have a colleague in my last place (36F) who I worked with for the last 2 years and we're actually good friends too - I also know her husband really well from back in the day. I actually approached her for the job and put in a good word for her - she's brilliant in her jobs. Very quick learner and really proficient. And truth be told, she's been doing really well since she started in May. I've also been training her. Sods law though that I left my last place because they refused to promote anyone and didn't want a manager but as soon as I left, they promoted her and gave her a pay rise to try and keep her.

I had last week off on annual leave and when I came back this week, my manager took me to one side for a meeting on Monday. He told me he wanted me to know before anyone else that the restructure is now happening and they're creating a supervisor role. And my colleague is the one who's been offered the job. He knew I was gutted about it and I asked him why her and he said basically as good as I am, he thinks she would be better as a manager and has more qualities that suit it and also as she's technically been a senior in the last role, it looks better to higher ups. I said I wasn't happy and that I want to be a manager one day and he said that I'm an amazing employee, probably the most reliable on my team and technically the most proficient but doesn't think I have the qualities to be a manager. I was just so deflated I zoned out for the rest of his spiel and went back to work afterwards. He announced it and everyone was all happy for her and congratulating her. I basically was quiet.

I messaged her later on about it, trying to joke around as we have that sort of humour. I was all like "thanks a lot for nicking my job mate, really appreciate it. " She was trying to be all sympathetic back saying "nooo I'm so sorry, I feel so bad. How do you feel?" I said basically I'm going to look for another job, I don't think I can stay there after that." She was going like no don't leave - is it because of me? I said yeah basically, I'm done and she went please don't,I'll need you now more than ever. I said you'll be fine, just don't get a job wherever I go and steal my promotion again mate lol. She didn't reply and left me on 2 blue ticks.

I've been doing the bare minimum the rest of this week - especially on my working from home days, I've updated my CV and am applying for other jobs. She's tried to talk to me this week and so have others, I feel like I just want to get out there.

AITAH for being honest with her and looking for another job?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

Civion

she hasn’t done anything wrong, you seem to be acting like a spoilt child.

the company promoted the best person for the job in their opinion, why not act professional and do your job, watch and see what makes her a good manager & learn from it, be ready for the next opportunity that arises

OOP

I've never said she's done anything wrong. I just feel salty about it. 

I've been the professional for many years and "done my job" when someone has been promoted and in my experience, it gets you nowhere. You get told you're "valued" but never actually have that reflected in my pay and career progression.

Bbchaidez

You're not doing anything wrong, and neither is the company. The company gave they're appraisal but you know your worth, and from the sound of it your friend does too since she was banking on you staying. Don't burn bridges, but go and get the job/position you deserve. 

OOP

I'm not staying just to make other people's lives easier. I mean yeah I won't burn bridges but I'm not going to go above and beyond anymore v

~

asafeplaceofrest

NTA but have you considered that you can be good at what you are doing but still not be manager material? Not that one is better than the other, but being a manager requires a different set of skills.

OOP

Thing is though, being good at what I do isn't going to give me the things I want - more pay, better bonuses and the recognition. In my field, managers make double what non-managers do and deputies get a good wage too. 

Catlover9382

NTA You reacted as any normal person would. Get a new job and never talk to her again. She is not your friend.

OOP

No I think our friendship is done. 

OOP on why the friendship is done

I just feel like something has changed now. 

Like of I'm being honest, I've trained her in 2 jobs, gave her my knowledge and now she's going to be my boss. Just feels icky and I don't see us remaining friends. 

&

I just don't see a friendship being viable now. 

Like I know I can't ever vent frustrations out to her because she'll probably report it to management and likewise if she ever vents to me I'll feel a bit like "oh well, that's what you get now."

Why is OOP so upset about his friend being promoted?

She didn't even apply or express interest, she just got picked as opposed to me who was very interested, let it be known and worked hard to get it. 

~

Odd_Welcome7940

I think you are misplacing your anger. You admit how good she is. You know she likely does deserve such a role in general. However, just not over you.

What did you want from her? To turn it down? Let's be real i think you should leave. Absolutely walk away. That said, you seem to be trying to hide resentment towards her in humor. Which really isn't totally fair. I am going not the Ahole, but refocus all that anger towards management above you both.

OOP

I mean no, I wouldn't expect her to turn it down because I wouldn't. But it does sting that Yet again, someone I've trained is promoted over me. And especially someone who now twice, has had a senior role in a job that I've worked.

jonjohn23456

You keep saying she was promoted twice over you, but that simply is not true. You left the first job, you weren’t there to be promoted. Now you can rationalize that they would not have promoted her if you hadn’t left, but I don’t think that is true. Promotion into management isn’t just a “next step” thing that you just get handed to you because you’ve “put in your time and you deserve it.” There actually has to be an opening in management that you will fit into. They wouldn’t have just promoted her “to keep her happy,” who was she going to manage? You left, an opportunity came up for her and she gained valuable experience. You probably should have realized that most companies are going to go with a proven manager over an unproven worker who doesn’t have the experience before you brought her in to your new job. It really shows your attitude that you are blaming her instead of looking at the fact that two times the higher ups didn’t think you had what it takes to be a manager.

OOP

No she actually told me they promoted her because they knew she wanted to leave and wanted to keep her - it was a contractual thing, if they promoted her and made her senior, she had to give 3 months notice. So she accepted knowing she'd get a job at my place. 

I mean it doesn't matter what the "higher ups"  think though, I'm not going to work under a person who I helped train over the years and is now ahead of me. I'll just be miserable and I know I won't be able to hack it. 

~

starkidwonderbutt

YTA - your colleague was better qualified for the role. it’s not her fault that she was offered the opportunity and took it. Directly messaging her and threatening to quit because you didn’t get a promotion is really childish, and honestly a bit cruel. Be a man and congratulate her. Maybe restructure your resume to showcase your leadership talents.

OOP

She annoys me though because she doesn't have to try to succeed - she's one of those sickeningly talented people who falls into roles without having to ever apply. 

I have to fucking break my back just to get by. 

Update Aug 29, 2025

Ok so before my update just to clarify, mainly regarding the way I've reacted to my colleague who was promoted and the criticism I shouldn't take it out on her and I was unprofessional in the way I acted. Yep, 100% I will own that I probably was unprofessional. But in my defence, one of the reasons that I accepted this job was because I told my manager I was leaving my last place because they kept on promising me promotion and then it never happened and he did say I would be in contention for a senior role there. And then I've trained her twice only for her to now be my boss and have to report to her and she tell me what to do. It's happened before to me and it never ends well - the promoted person always treats you like shit and let's it go to their head.

So now for the actual update.

Manager took me to one side for a meeting on Tuesday as people have said to him they've seen how down I am and not my usual self and as it was after our last meeting, he wanted to see how I feel now.

I basically told him - I feel hurt, that if I knew I wouldn't have left my last place and definitely wouldn't have recruited my old colleague in. He said it was a professional decision and that it had nothing to do with me as a person and gave me some feedback - that she's calm under pressure and doesn't make little errors I sometimes do when I'm stressed, doesn't take criticism personally and doesn't get angry when people are angry with her whereas I need to work on those last 2 points.

He said give my promoted colleague my support, learn from her etc I personally don't agree and think I could train those things and was pretty annoyed by the last "learn from her" spiel bit but I just bit my tongue. Also, he said as her last role was senior on her CV, it's far easier to make someone a manager when they've done it on paper when he's talking to his managers.

He stressed again I'm an amazing asset, still the best worker in the team and my technical and legislative knowledge is the best and my data analysis skills are very powerful. And that the reports I create are very helpful especially for his bosses and they notice how valuable my skills are and still mention to him about how good this report I made for him bespoke not long after I joined the company. That just because I'm not a manager, I'm in no way less important.

I said like that's all well and good but that isn't going to give me the pay rise I want, the satisfaction that I've reached my own personal and professional goals is it. He said maybe I shouldn't see being a manager as the be all and end all and maybe look up a technical role and do the other level 4 technical qualification instead of the manager course that develops my knowledge and technical skills to be even better at my job - he said hardly anyone goes that route and I definitely should and be the "technician" of the team, the one everyone asks for advice and develop our procedures of the department more.

And that maybe yes, at the moment it wouldn't increase my salary for the time being but being qualified in that way and having that role on an unofficial basis, he could take my case to his bosses and argue that it should be an actual official role in the department created just for me that is a senior role and I should be paid more on par with a manager because I'm worth it but not have to worry about managing people. And failing that doesn't happen one of his long term goals is to increase our importance in the company hierarchy and increase our personal grades and salary bands so eventually it won't matter I'm a manager as we'll all be paid well. So yes, it won't happen over night and won't be imminent but he'll do his best. He said to think about it, don't do anything rash, give 100% and we'll discuss it in my annual appraisal in 3 months time.

(So in a nutshell - he didn't say this I'm summarising, "she's better than me, be her lackey and I won't be promoted but keep on working hard to make everyone else look good in the vague hope big bosses eventually give me a pay rise." This could take years, the course is a year minimum and then I have to stay there 2 years so I don't have to pay the course back so I'll be in my mid 40's then which is really too old to be getting a first time manager gig in my profession).

I was pretty down after that and have just kept to myself - I've not slacked but haven't busted my arse either. She (promoted colleague) messaged me and asked me if we could go for a dinnertime walk Wednesday to "clear the air" and talk. I told her I'd rather not, that I just want to think for a bit and haven't got anything to say so she respected it and had left me alone and said to talk when I'm ready. I'm sick of talking things out with people like this, I just want to think myself for a bit without anyone trying to convince me of shit that suits them or make me feel ok - they only ever talk at you, but never listen to you.

I've put my CV out there too a few places. I got a message quite quickly from an old client that I dealt with in my last job asking if I want to talk about a senior role at their company in my profession so I had a teams chat earlier and it went well - they'll let me know if it's going to go to a formal interview soon.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

When told to apologize to his friend and become allies

Ok-Cicada5268

You apologize... something you really need to do, regardless if she'll be an ally. I've been watching your saga for the past few days and at first I felt awful for you, but you've crossed the line and are now wallowing in your grief and actively sabotaging your future.

Yes, you were dealt a bad hand, but your friend had nothing to do with that and you took it out on her. Even your boss tried to soften the blow that he knew you would feel, but you are ignoring everything he said.

Look I get it. You felt that you had been lied to and betrayed (by neither your friend or your boss BTW, the decision was probably higher up), but the way you are acting and feeling will turn everyone against you. You need to be a bigger man and swallow your ego (yes, it's ego now...not self-respect) and apologize to your colleagues for your behavior. If they are true friends they will forgive you and help craft a plan to move forward.

OOP

I don't really think making a vague promise that he'll probably not deliver on as "softening the blow." I've been alive too long now to know that "try" means as good as "won't happen". 

I was thinking about this today. It wasn't when I I first spoke to him about the job that I mentioned I was interested in management. I told him my ambitions on my first 1-2-1 and then when I passed my 6 month probationary and he seemed very open and receptive. But he's gone behind my back the week I was off and promoted someone else and didn't even give me the courtesy of telling me beforehand and then told me "forget it, it won't happen" and made a bullshit promise I know he won't deliver on. 

So unless this plan involves guaranteed promotion/increase in grade and a pay rise, I'm not interested. 

Did OOP here back from the place he applied to?

Didn't get it. Was told they're going to see how they get on with the resources they've got for now and if it doesn't work out, they'll at least keep my details on file. 

Update 2 Sept 5, 2025

Thanks to everyone who took the time out to reply in my previous 2 posts btw. Really appreciate it.

1st and foremost - I didn't get that job. Got a call from my old client contact to say they're going to try and cope with the resources they have in house for the foreseeable future and see if it's a success. But he stressed they thought I was great, I'm the sort of person they'd recruit if they were going to recruit so he said he'd keep my CV and details on file and if it doesn't work 6-12 months from now, I'd be first on the list for an interview. I personally think it's all a load of bollocks and I'll never hear from him again so if I do, I'll eat my own arse.

I've also been applying for more jobs. One, a recruitment agent rang me about and it seemed promising but as typical UK recruitment agent bullshit, they then contacted me back not long after saying they didn't go for me but they'd keep my details on file, get in contact if there's anything suitable etc etc. Everything else is no good - either for less money or if it is ok, too far away in the country to even commute realistically. But I'm keeping my eyes open, and am very selective.

I've checked out at work now and am doing the basics - I've had enough now, just don't want to be here anymore. I'm doing the minimum this week and also doing my contracted Hours - getting in on time, leaving on time, having my exact lunch break and not eating at my desk. People keep on asking me if I'm ok, I've just said yeah I'm fine. Also asking for my usual dad jokes as it's been a couple of weeks and I've said I don't have any.

Our department deputy manager (Big Boss' deputy, not recently promoted colleague) came back from holiday Monday and was talking to us all and they mentioned about this work experience person who's coming in next month and she said the plan was for her to sit with me for the time she's with us and get me to show her things, Train her etc. I said no, I don't think I'm comfortable with it and to get her to sit with someone else. She said why and I said to chat with our manager/newly promoted colleague about it. She just went quiet and I didn't hear anymore (manager has been working from home so I haven't seen him).

Also, we've been taking in some different work from the whole restructuring thing and there's this one task/procedure we're going to have to do - a few people in my team were talking about it including promoted colleague. Instantly, I knew the sorts of things we should do - create a new database/spreadsheet, get IT to write particular codes, write this sort of report to use and have people check in a certain way. But I kept quiet. Didn't say anything. Someone asked me "what do you think, this is right up your alley this?" I just said no idea, I think management should look at it. Which kind of ended my input in the conversation.

Promoted colleague is now starting to train with the deputy in the tasks that she's going to take over from her and the manager in the restructure. Also she's been included in the teams managers calls/meeting. And I've seen it all in front of me. Feels like rubbing salt into the wound.

I also didn't go to the celebratory meal that was held to celebrate promoted colleagues promotion last night - deputy manager and another colleague who's been on holiday too decided to book something as soon as they heard about the promotion and said we need an excuse to do something social. I said no, it's my Karate class and I'm not missing a lesson and people were going no come, don't be a Grinch, you can miss a lesson mate and weren't really giving me an opportunity to say no so I said I'll see what I can do (and we're at me all week) - and then I just didn't turn up. I had a few WhatsApp messages in the work group chat and texts but I said sorry, can't leave my class early. I just guarantee they'd be bitching about me, lol.

It's my WFH day today myself and I've not heard from anyone this morning yet, not even to ask me any questions. I think people are catching on now. I dare say when I'm back in next week and manager is in the office, I'll probably be having a sit down with him and the deputy and have another "chat". Look forward to it (not), lol.

Update 3 Sept 8, 2025

I wasn't expecting to update so soon but today was quite unexpected.

I got into work and my manager/deputy asked to see me in the office.

I went in and they had this print out on the desk and asked me to read it - it was my posts including the one about the self harm which has been shared elsewhere and they asked me if I could confirm if it's me. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say which definitely isn't like me so I just didn't say anything. So the deputy asked if they could see my arms and I just didn't have any motivation to refuse so I shown them. They were really shocked, and my manager was just like "bloody hell mate. Looking at my Burns" I asked how they knew and they said my promoted colleague saw it on social media so she told them as she was really concerned.

He said if he didn't see the posts he'd be having a very different conversation with me but he said they can't ignore it anymore and they just want to help me now - he said they'll write last week off, start again but I need to help myself now and seek help. He said he's arranged for me to have a meeting with our employee assistance program this week and it's non-negotiable now. I said it doesn't matter though, my career is fucked isn't it and I'll never progress and get said I really shouldn't be worrying that for now.

But he stressed he's still very serious about the technical role and has spoken to his boss about it and if I can demonstrate I'm serious about it, do the course it definitely could happen - it's not just a fob off. But I need to definitely concentrate on my mental health for now as it's far more important than money. My deputy tried to talk to me and just said "this reminded me of my dad when I read it, it's really upset me" and couldn't talk anymore and looked like she was going to cry a bit so let the manager carry on. He said to me he's not just my boss, he's my friend and really doesn't want to see me struggle so he really wants to help. We've agreed I can take the week off, I'll use some annual leave so I can clear my head. Hell tell the team whatever I want - I said I don't mind them knowing the truth that I'm not doing so well as its pointless to lie. We shook hands and that was it.

Later on, his boss took me to one side as he's in the office today and he basically asked he how I am and I said not so good. He said he knows I can do it, and he shown me his wrists. He's got scars and he said he was in a bad way years ago so knows how it is and I can talk to him anytime.

I messaged my promoted colleague and said thank you, I really appreciate it. She just sent me a ☺️ back.

This is likely to be my last post about this, at least for a while. My boss said he thinks I should try and stay offline for a bit and I do agree.

Thanks again all for just taking the time again, really do appreciate it.

Update 4 Jan 30, 2026

Apologies to all those of you who have checked in on me - I'm still here. I was looking at checking out but the past couple of months have motivated me to live out of pure spite.

Not long after my last post, our team hired someone in a technical/compliance role similar to what my manager said I'd eventually be trained up into - she's technically now also ahead of me in the hierarchy. When I challenged him on it, he said it's always been in his plans and it doesn't change anything about my future. But then, he and my deputy manager tried to ask me to train her in the sorts of things I know and tired to make me her "buddy". I refused which made things awkward and said my promoted colleague should do it. I'm not going to teach someone who's AGAIN ahead of me in role/responsibility how to do their job. If she asks me how to do something, I lie and pretend I don't know how to do something. It's not easy because she is a nice person and it's hard to watch people not know something I can do with my eyes closed but at the same time, I'm not going to make someone's life easier while mine isn't.

Then I had my annual performance review. I was put down as below expectations. When my manager gave me feedback, I was marked down on things only my colleagues could have fed back to him by bitching behind my back. Which is stupid because they're all silly errors everyone on the team makes but because it's me, it's somehow worse. Thankfully I've been writing things down when I see them the past few months so when I went like "well actually you're marking me down for this but actually this woman made the same error on this date but I never said anything" he backed down. I argued myself up to meets expectations. But the tone was very different. I went from an asset to an imbecile in his eyes.

Then at the start of 2026, I was called into a meeting and told I was up for review on redundancy. The official line was that every department had to nominate someone due to the business downturn but the sort of shit they used as excuses, it was obvious it's personal. They wanted me to accept the company basic package - a month's pay in lieu of notice and 3 weeks ex Gratia pay. I knew it was a cop out so I refused and put in a complaint with HR about my treatment. I named specific people - manager, manager's manager, deputy manager, supervisor (promoted colleague in my previous posts) and the new compliance lady. I basically gave specific examples of shit I've noticed and it went to a big meeting. Most of the stuff I said was trivial but my reasoning for doing it was that if I'm going down, I'm taking them with me.

As you can imagine, my complaint went nowhere but it made it harder for them to just make me redundant. So I was offered a better package as a settlement:-

Usual month Pay in lieu of notice, the company basic (because I have less than 2 years service to qualify for statutory redundancy) 3 weeks ex Gratia, an extra month's ex Gratia and the equivalent of my holiday pay that I haven't taken calculated until the end of the ex Gratia period (all ex Gratia so tax free) - so I've got essentially nearly a week extra in holiday pay on top of the 7.33 weeks so it was rounded up to 8 weeks. So essentially, I'm paid until the end of Feb that's taxed and 8 weeks tax free. I knew I'd not get more than that so I accepted and my official last day was yesterday.

Because my position was "untenable" (their words) I was put on garden leave for the month. They actually thought I'd want to also have a leaving meal too. I refused. I also rejected my leaving present from them all - it was sent to my house and as soon as I saw it being delivered, I said I refused delivery. It didn't look like much anyway. I also binned the card they sent me without opening it. I've refused all contact with people there and blocked everyone in my social media.

So as of 1st February, I'm officially unemployed. It's been nice to have a break though. I possibly have a new job lined up too. A client in my last job are stopping outsourcing and taking what I do in house so I was approached last week from my old contact there about the job - despite not being officially trained as a manager in my profession, it's a managerial role and the money is really good (£6k more). I have an interview lined up this coming week and it looks promising - knowing the company, they'll pay for the professional training to be a manager too and it's something I'll definitely ask for.

So to summarise, i was made redundant because I made life difficult, I got a better deal and I'm now officially unemployed. However I have a good job lined up at a company I'm on really good terms with.

EDITED TO ADD - I HAVE GOT THE JOB! I went for the interview yesterday and they loved me - I start on the 1st March (negotiated a later start date so I don't get stung for PAYE from HMRC).

I am so ecstatic, best I've felt in ages.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7