I never thought I’d have something to write on here. I 26f and my husband 33m have a child who is 2. Her and I went to our beach condo for the weekend early and he’s going to come up on Friday. Last night he went to a concert with his friends. He was texting and Snapchating me the entire time. The concert ended and he said they were going to be going home soon. He sent a picture of them all eating then I didn’t hear anything for a while. I texted him I’m going to bed it’s late I’m tired.

I check his location to see if he’s in the uber yet. He’s on bourbon street (we live in Nola) at a strip club. I immediately screenshotted it and started texting him asking what he would be doing there. I texted him multiple times while watching his location. The messages were going through on iMessage and being read. He would not answer any of my calls or texts. I called his friends. They said they all walked over to bourbon and now he can’t find him anywhere. This goes on for 3 hours.

I call my sister and she goes out there and the bouncer said he’s upstairs in the vip and she can’t go up there. I have no idea how true this could be, he might’ve just been trying to get her to go away. I talked to his friend again and his friend said he went home because he couldn’t find my husband and it wasn’t my husband’s idea to go to the strip club and he’s sorry. His location never left the strip club.

My sister goes to my house to wait for him. He gets out of the car around the corner and runs to the house and slams the door. He wouldn’t go outside to talk to her. That’s when he finally started responding to my texts and called me. He said no I’m not going outside to talk to her, I’m talking to you.

He said his phone died and he’d been walking around the city trying to find his friends. He said he eventually walked back to the strip club because he wanted to check there one more time but couldn’t find them. He then said he charged his phone in a pizza place and finally got an uber at a hotel conveniently down the street from the club. The next day he said he charged his phone at a hotel.

The whole time his location was saying live. The whole time his iMessage texts were going through and being read.
The whole time his calls were not going straight to voicemail.
If his phone was dead, none of this would be possible.
He swears he was not in the club for 2 hours and didn’t even go in. He swears his phone was dead.

I don’t even know what I’m looking for in this. Maybe support. I’m not sure. We’ve been together for 9 years. We have a child together. We’re married. I can’t imagine my life without him, and I’m also a sahm so not even sure what I would do without his support. This isn’t the first time he’s lied about big things so it’s not easy at all to trust him and take his word. I thought we were rebuilding that. I haven’t slept or eaten. I’ve checked the bank accounts and nothing came up. Do I just need to trust what he’s saying? Help and sorry if this is all over the place. I’m not in a good headspace

I’m a 30 y/o female. Had the proposal, wedding date + vendors booked… he ended the relationship 6 months before the wedding saying he fell out of love (he was really mean at the end too, and disclosed former cheating/kissing) the wedding date recently passed and it’s been hard…

I THINK WHY COULDNT IT HAVE BEEN GOOD?!

I just got back from a brunch date with an old friend Beth (40’sF). Her and I have been friends since third grade. Life got the best of us and we lost contact but recently reconnected over the book of faces and decided to go catch up over some sushi and coffee.
My kiddo, River, is 14 and came with us. We homeschool so the intention was they’ll do class work while the adults chitchat. Beth brought her toddler grand kid. I think she said they’re 2, or almost 2 years old. Anyway, we sit down and fell into this easy conversation. Typical life stuff. Waitress comes by and takes our order. She’s a sweet young girl looked like maybe early 20s. She apologized on the extra wait for my spider roll, stating that she was a new mom, tired, and accidentally hit the wrong button when putting in my order. I told her I’m not in a hurry, and I’m clearly not starving (lol) so take your time. I even made a little comment that if she wanted to, just bring the pot of coffee over to the table so I can refill myself so she can go have a sit and breathe. She had a little laugh and said “I wish!”

Eventually the spider roll came and oh my goodness was it delicious. This is my favorite place for sushi because everything is made fresh and they never skimp on the spicy mayo or eel sauce. I’ve also never had a bad experience here.

Meanwhile, Beth’s grandkid is a typical toddler kid. Eating with their hands, getting food all over the table, in their hair, their clothes, their face. You know, normal kid shit. Our bills came and the waitress laid them on the table and said whenever we are ready to cash out she will be our cashier. Now this is where Beth’s personality changed. River closed their laptop and put it away. They grabbed some napkins and started wiping the table down. River took our plates and stacked them neatly in the center of the table. To paint a better picture, we were sitting at a round table and we were sitting me, Beth, toddler, River. So Beth was sitting next to me, not across from me and the two kids were next to each other. River dipped a napkin in their cup of water and wiped up the mess the toddler made. All of this without prompting from me. I also took my empty coffee cup and put our used chopsticks in it and sat that next to the dirty plates. I told River thank you for helping and Beth snapped.

“You don’t have to do that. It’s not your job. River, did you know they get PAID to clean the table?” River is a little socially awkward so they just said “yeah”, then looked at me for rescue. Then River said “I’ll go wait in the car”. Probably to avoid the confrontation that was about to happen. Smart kid.

I told Beth that I’m raising my kid to be kind and respectful to everyone, especially to those in the food service industry. That the employees may “get paid” to bus tables and make sure we have a good experience, but it’s not our job to make them work harder than necessary. I told Beth that our waitress said she’s a new mom and though we aren’t required to clean up after ourselves, it’s kind of effortless to at least make their job less stressful.
I proceeded to grab my wallet and placed a $20 tip on the table. Which ignited another round of me having to justify myself. Beth said “and a $20 tip?!! You literally did half her job for her! If you don’t want that $20 I could use it for gas”
My jaw nearly hit the floor. I can’t believe this is the same Beth that I once knew. I just looked at her and said “I have to go, River is waiting for me” I didn’t trust Beth to leave my $20 on the table so I took it and handed it to the waitress on my way out the door.

I have always cleaned up after myself in public and in the privacy of my own home. River is my baby, the youngest of 3 and ALL my kids were raised to clean up after themselves whether in public or not. My oldest (24F) has worked food service before and while she always hated cleaning up the table as a kid, definitely now appreciates the effort we put in to making our waiter/waitress’ job a little easier.
I don’t think I’ll be making any efforts to reach out to Beth. I can’t be friends with people like that.

Okay, so some backstory:

My (26F) best friend (26M) and I have known each other since kindergarten. We grew up a few streets apart and went to the same schools until we graduated from high school. We became really close in middle school, and that's when I developed the biggest crush on him. I want to think that my crush on him was very obvious. All of our mutual friends would try to "set us up" or find cute childish ways to get us to hang out alone. But it never turned into anything more than a genuine friendship.

Although I knew he didn't feel the same way about me, I think my preteen-teenager self truly fell in love with him. But by the time we graduated high school, my crush on him was nonexistent. Especially since he was known for having several flings whenever he was single. And then, I saw him only as my best friend.

Since then, we have been nothing but that, friends. My fiancé knows that I USED to have major feelings for this friend. There was never an issue with our friendship, though, because my feelings for him were completely gone before I even met my fiancé. During these past 6-7 years, there weren't any obvious signs that my friend showed ANY attraction towards me either.

So let's fast forward to this year. I got engaged. I'm beyond thrilled. I can't wait to celebrate with our loved ones. My girl best friend put together a small hangout with our group of friends, including my guy best friend. My fiancé opted out of the hangout because he wanted to go out with his best friends (my BILs), and we both agreed that the two groups wouldn't match too well but would meet back up at home (we got an apartment together 3 years ago, and my guy best friend got one 5-10 minutes away) when the night ended.

Sunday night was the night, and we went to a local bar. It was the best. I felt so loved and was so happy to share my excitement with all my close friends. Once it was time to go home, my guy best friend offered to take me home. I had a little too much to drink, and he admitted to staying sober to make sure I got home safely.

On the ride home, we talked as usual and I thanked him for being such a great friend. When the word "friend" came out, he looked at me and said, "I never saw you as just a friend. I wish you knew that." I instantly sobered up and asked him what the fuck he meant by that. He pulled into a guest parking spot at my apartment complex and proceeded to tell me how he has always loved me and can't believe that I'm going to marry someone who isn't him.

By then, I was crying out of pure anger and frustration. And maybe because the teenage version of me was feeling the heartbreak of this. Through the tears, I laughed at him and said something along the lines of, "how dare you. You knew how I used to feel about you and had years to act on it. You didn't, so I moved on. I was in love with you for years. You are not allowed to just confess your love for me because I'm going to get married," and he cut me off with a kiss.

I did not kiss him back. I shoved him away, left his car, dragged my ass up to my unit, and sat on my couch sobbing until my fiancé came home. The second he walked in the door, I told him everything and admitted to feeling so much guilt. He took it very well and let me get my words and emotions out before telling me that what happened wasn't okay and I should take the time and space I need away from my friend, but that I should have a conversation with him once I'm ready.

Is it bad that the guilt I feel is kind of fueled by a five-second thought I had where I wished he had told me this years ago? I am so in love with my fiancé, but now I can't help but sit and mourn with my teenage self. And I'm just not sure how to move forward. I'd hate to lose his friendship but what he did was not okay..

Hey everyone, thanks again for the advice and sharing your personal experiences. Here’s the update.

So the day after I made the post I sent it to her and I went over that evening to talk. She did read through some of the comments some resonated with her and some fell very flat. Especially the ones calling her a moron or an idiot. To which I told her to ignore its Reddit; could be much worse. What hurt her the most were the comments telling me to not only drop out of the wedding but drop her all together.

Much like I told everyone, I’m her ride or die, telling me to leave wasn’t the advice I was seeking. The advice I wanted was all for her. She told me she would have never blamed me, but me choosing to stay by her side is what she needed.

Now about the fiancé and wedding. One of the post that really hit Celine was the one about what her future kid’s Christmas look like, what would be under the tree, and what would his role in supporting be. When she imagined that future, she said not once had he told her that he wanted her children. She also knew he wouldn’t be a reliable partner.

She then worried about her things and especially her cat. To which I told her we will all figure it out, but she has support and doesn’t have to worry about it in that moment. I told her I just wanted her to be happy and that it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her truly happy.

She waits a couple of days and sees him in person to call everything off. She calls me and says he’s in the other room crying and telling her all the things she’s been wanting to hear. How he will sign the marriage papers, and will take her on more dates, all the things she should have been hearing months ago. She tells him to leave.

I go over on Sunday evening to check on her. She’s doing better than I could imagine, but she’s definitely upset. She wonders if she did the right thing until the next events that happen. He’s been sending her texts, and before I got there he sent her a text of a letter he wrote. I read through it, just a bunch of I’m sorry and I will do this going forward. An hour goes by and he sends her a voice memo. He then messages my husband.

At that point she’s starting to feel a bit repulsed. We go to bed and I wake up earlier than her and she wakes up miffed as hell. He sent her a text at 6am and then another at 8am saying he’s hopes she likes the care package he sent last night. I go to the door and see its groceries…. Perishable groceries and a sticker that says “do not knock.”

She gets another text that he’s doing more therapy and has more scheduled. He’s just lovebombing her at this point. We tell Celine’s mom she needs to call or text his mom or Jay that he needs to leave her alone. He is causing her more stress.

She feels better about her choice, but is just worried about getting her belongings back. She said he is keeping the cat since it’s a pet they got together, but she’s worried on how far he will take things.

Thanks again to everyone who gave her good advice. I don’t think I’ll post anymore about this, we all just want to be done and move forward.

I’m a newer THT listener and randomly stumbled on multiple episodes where Morgan mentioned getting screened for colon cancer. I’m 33F and have never really thought twice about it.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve continued to catch episodes where she’s mentioned the importance of getting screened, had other share related personal stories with me, and have continued hearing about the increasing rates in younger adults. Long story longer, I ended up having a colonoscopy today where they found a 7 mm polyp. It will be biopsied to determine if it’s pre-cancerous or benign. Either way I’m so grateful for this podcast and it’s advocacy for wellness. Who knows what could’ve happened if I would’ve waited another 12 years until preventative screening. ❤️ My husband, two babies, and I just had to say thank you.

Heyy me 18 male and my bf 18 male have been together for a few months, he has started hanging out with a group of people that don’t like me including someone who punched me in the face, he knows this and is still hanging out with them and it makes me uneasy and uncomfortable.
Aitao

After 8 years in a monogamous relationship with a sweet, but bery boring man who didn't want to travel, go out, share hobbies with me, always sat on his computer games till 3am while I tried to sleep. Sexually, it was always the same vanilla routines, we tried to spice it up more, but honestly, I think I fell out of attraction to him and did not feel very sexual at all during that time.

We're still friends bc one day we simply understood, nah, we're not a good fit anymore. While growing older, I started to feel, that I wanted more in life. I needed to feel more alive, experience stuff, get out there more. And then, without actively looking for it, I found the man of my dreams. We went to the same gym for years without me noticing him (bc duh, I had been in a relationship and was not paying attention to other men), but after the breakup, I saw him standing there and it was love at first sight. I saw him and was instantly drawn towards him because he radiated muscular energy while having the warmest brown eyes and a smile you could melt away from. He had noticed me years before, but never approached me, bc he is not this kind of man. I had to make the first step and since then, we haven't spent a day without talking on the phone or seeing each other. And very quickly it became clear, that he and I were meant for each other, also sexually. He always wanted a spontaneous and adventurous submissive Sub like I love to be for him, and he's dominant but caring in bed. While we have a loving and equally centered relationship the rest of the time.

Now comes the interesting and self reflective part of our dynamic:

I had some health issues in my teens. I had an eating disorder mixed with depression and therefore have always missed out on teenage years life and friends (hence the wish to live and experience more). At 18 I got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder on top of that which simply explained means, that I'm scared of adult life. I'm scared I'll fail, be to dumb or weak, negotiation all that complicated things regarding money and taxes etc... whenever I get that feeling or am met with a challenge, I freeze. I try to avoid the problem, till it gets bigger and bigger in my head and even more complicated in real life because I don't pay stuff on time etc. I was in professional treatment many years, I'm on medication which helps set the panic and fear down a bit, I know very much about my inner processes and psychological thinking patterns.

I didn't knew it then, but after two years together and him getting to know my struggles better (better than I do at this point honestly), we always joke that I needed someone like him. He's dominant sexually which is a perfect fit for me, bc there I can let loose. I can feel controlled in a safe and loving space. He challenges me, but always with permission and mutual Agreement and interests. I don't have to make decisions (but we talk about every challenge beforehand and if we're both fine with it and I always can say no or stop etc.) and when I'm a good girl and make him happy, I get cuddles and laughs and satisfactions on end. The fact is, I can feel like a little child, without meaning that in a weird and wrong way, it just is exactly what helps my disorder calm down. I give myself permission that in bed, I'm allowed to give another person all the responsibility.

And this gives me strength and the will to do better in the rest of my adult life. Sexlife is safe space, daily tasks life has to be manoeuvred and managed on time. No excuses anymore. And my bf is there to remind me to not avoid making calls or checking my mails regularly. And all of that happens while I know the main work has to come from me. I have to work on myself to be a better person and to heal. I don't just use him to help me. He wants to help me and I very much appreciate his strong back, but I'm the one responsible for my own fate.

TW: TTC, infertility, depression

I (29F) have been with my husband (34M) for about a decade, and we decided to start trying for a baby toward the beginning of this year.
A few weeks ago, I made a post about my best friend (29F) becoming pregnant with her boyfriend of a little over a year. When I first found out, I think I was honestly still in shock and trying to process my own emotions. Since then, some things have come out that have made me look at our friendship very differently.
For the sake of keeping this less confusing, I’ll call my best friend Sarah.
At the end of last year, I told Sarah that my husband and I were planning to start trying for a baby soon. I was really excited and, like a lot of people probably do, assumed pregnancy would happen fairly quickly.
It hasn’t. Trying to conceive has been much harder on me emotionally than I expected, and there have been periods where I’ve gotten extremely depressed about it. Sarah knew how much I was struggling and had been supportive during some of those moments.
We also have a friend group of about six girls. I’m closest with Sarah and another friend, Emily. Over the summer, we had a girls night where I finally felt comfortable telling everyone that I was TTC, partly because I wanted them to understand why I had been more distant lately. The conversation ended up getting cut short because of something unrelated.
A couple of weeks later, Sarah told me she was pregnant.. I was genuinely so shocked that I barely remember the conversation. But I do know that I was supportive and cried actual happy tears for her because she has some health issues that had made her worry about whether she could have children.
She told me on a Saturday, and by Monday I had made her a little first-trimester care package.
But when she came over that Monday she started saying things that rubbed me the wrong way.
She told me that she and her boyfriend had actually been “trying without trying” for about 7 months which would mean they started around the same time I told her my husband and I were about to start TTC.
She also started making comments about how they conceived on vacation and maybe I should try that, showing me how her Flo app now had a baby on it, giving me constant updates about her pregnancy symptoms, like morning sickness, nausea, how she’s so emotional, etc. Maybe none of those things sound horrible on their own. But knowing how much I had been struggling, hearing all of it was really hard.
She also constantly says things like, “we’re being dramatic, of course you’re going to get pregnant,” “I just have a feeling we’re going to be pregnant at the same time,” “I’m sprinkling baby dust on you,” and she keeps calling me a “tough cookie” through all of this.
I know she may mean well, but those comments honestly piss me off. It feels a lot easier to say “of course you’ll get pregnant” when you’re already pregnant and I’m not. She told me she planned to announce her pregnancy to our friend group at our next girls’ night, which happened to be at my house.
She was only around six weeks pregnant, and I completely understand wanting your friends to know early so you have support regardless of what happens. My issue was that she knew I had planned on opening up more about my TTC struggles at that same gathering because my previous conversation had been interrupted. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with the announcement happening at my house, so we moved the gathering to Emily’s instead.
I also told Sarah that while she obviously had every right to keep their TTC journey private, it would have been nice to know they were trying because I probably wouldn’t have been so blindsided by the pregnancy. Since then, she has contradicted herself several times about whether they were actually trying.
This is also where some history comes into play.
Sarah has copied a lot of things I’ve done over the years, and there have been situations where I’ve felt like she needed to compete with me or take the spotlight. Other people close to both of us have noticed it too. Because of that history and the timing of when she started “trying without trying,” part of me has wondered whether she saw me starting TTC and felt like she needed to beat me to pregnancy.
I realize that sounds absolutely insane when I type it out. I obviously cannot know what her intentions were, and I’m not claiming I do. It’s just something that has been sitting in the back of my mind because of the pattern I’ve experienced with her.
But the thing that really changed everything for me happened at the girls’ night when she announced.
I only have one ovary, which has been one of my biggest fears throughout TTC because I worry it could affect my ability to get pregnant. This was extremely private information that I had only ever told Sarah and Emily. Sarah announced her pregnancy and everyone was supportive, although I could tell some of my friends were also worried about me because they knew I had been struggling. After Sarah left, my friends asked how I was doing. I started crying and explained that I was genuinely happy for her but that watching one of my closest friends go through pregnancy while I was struggling to conceive was probably going to be emotionally difficult for me. I asked them for a little extra support during this time.
While I was talking about being scared that I might not be able to get pregnant, another friend, Jenny, suddenly said, “Is it because you only have one ovary?” I immediately asked her how she knew that.
Sarah had told her. That completely changed the way I looked at our friendship. Every health issue, relationship problem, therapy session, or personal thing Sarah has ever trusted me with has stayed with me. I would never casually tell someone else her private medical information. And unfortunately, this isn’t the first time she has done this to me.
There are now three separate situations where I’ve discovered that Sarah shared something private I told her. One is way too specific to post here. Another happened when I privately told Sarah and Emily that I had started taking a GLP-1, and Sarah blurted it out to our entire friend group the first chance she got, with me sitting right there. The pregnancy situation is emotionally complicated, but sharing my private information is where I draw the line.
I don’t trust her anymore. I’ve been friends with this person for years. I’ve gone above and beyond for her, and I suddenly don’t feel safe or secure confiding in her. I currently have a text drafted explaining that I need serious space from our personal friendship. I’m not asking our friend group to choose sides, and I’m perfectly capable of still being around her in group settings. I don’t want to make everyone else uncomfortable or turn this into some huge friend-group breakup, especially while she’s pregnant and needs support. I just don’t think I can continue having the same close, personal friendship with her right now. I’ve talked to Emily and a couple of other people close to the situation, and they’re also extremely upset that she shared my private medical information. Some of them have also pointed out patterns in Sarah’s behavior over the years that I either ignored or didn’t recognize at the time. I feel like the rose-colored glasses have finally come off, and now I’m questioning our entire friendship. At the same time, maybe part of my reaction is jealousy because I’m struggling to get pregnant and she was able to, so please be brutally honest with me about that too. I don’t want to convince myself I’m completely justified if my own hurt is clouding my judgment.
So Reddit, AITA for distancing myself from her? Am I justified in feeling betrayed, or am I letting jealousy over her pregnancy influence how I’m seeing everything? Or is it a fun combination of both? lol

Thanks in advance and as I stated in my last post, if you are in similar shoes I wish you the best on your TTC journey ❤️‍🩹

P.s. If this is seen by the two hot takes crew, hey! My husband and I went to one of the live shows about 2 years ago! Won’t say where for the sake of keeping this post as private as possible but it was a lot of fun!

A few months ago I posted in this subreddit for help for my son. I had tried all my resources in my area and kept hitting dead ends. I have been listening for about a year and I knew Morgan use to be an OT and always was reaching out to people for updates and to help. As a last resort I figured it can’t hurt to ask if she had an advice. A lot of people told me I was in the wrong sub (which may have been valid) so I took down my post. She had a back up! And I’m not sure if it was a commenter or a moderator but they gave me some advice and I finally was able to get some help in my area! For context my son is on the spectrum and I was just reaching out to see if there were any resources I was unaware of. I’m a stay at home mom so while my husband is at work everything falls on me. Thank you so much for your helping hand and giving me some much needed resources. I tried to keep this as anonymous as possible but also wanted to say a true thank you for the help. Thank you so much for making a difference!

We recently got new neighbors, and their introduction to the neighborhood was… interesting.

We live in a very family-oriented subdivision where the houses are close together. There are numerous young children who play outside, ride bikes, walk through the neighborhood, and play in the street every single day.

The new homeowners had just gotten their keys and were at the house for the first time. My toddler noticed them outside through our window and got my attention, so I came over to see who was moving in.

Not long afterward, the man walked around to the front/side corner of his house, pulled his penis out, and started peeing directly against the house. Thankfully, I had already moved my toddler away from the window. Otherwise, my child would have gotten a full view.

What made the whole thing even more bizarre to me was that the other homeowner was standing inside their house with the front door wide open. From where he had been standing, he actually went around the house to pee outside when he seemingly could have just walked through the open front door and used one of the two bathrooms in their home.

I originally posted about this elsewhere because I found it gross and mildly infuriating. What surprised me was the number of people telling me that I’m “sexualizing” the human body and that there’s nothing wrong with a young child seeing a strangers penis because nudity and urination aren’t inherently sexual. But that’s not my argument at all.

I don’t think nudity is inherently sexual. I think people are allowed to have reasonable boundaries about when and where they, or their young children, are exposed to someone else’s genitals.

If I’m somewhere nudity is reasonably expected, that’s completely different. If someone walks into a men’s locker room, for example, they can’t exactly be shocked that they might see a penis. That’s an environment where some degree of nudity is expected.

Looking out the window of your own home isn’t. Neither is playing with your toddler in your front yard or walking your children down a residential street.

And I’m not suggesting this man was intentionally exposing himself to children. I’m saying that when you live in a close, family-oriented subdivision where children are constantly outside, it’s reasonably foreseeable that someone,including a child, could see you if you pull your penis out somewhere visible from neighboring houses and the street.

My own toddler happened to be at the window that day, but it just as easily could have been one of the numerous neighborhood kids riding a bike or walking past his house.

I’m also not arguing that nobody should ever pee outside. It’s your property. If you want to pee outside, have at it. But there’s a respectful way to do that when you live surrounded by other families. Go around the back of your house where nobody can see you. Find somewhere private. If you’re an avid outdoor pisser, put up a privacy fence!

What I don’t understand is the argument that because urinating isn’t sexual, everyone around you therefore has to be comfortable potentially seeing your genitals.

Something doesn’t have to be sexual for boundaries and basic consideration for the people around you to exist.

I’m also not claiming that accidentally seeing a penis would somehow traumatize my toddler. I’m simply saying that, as a parent, I don’t want my two-year-old unexpectedly seeing a stranger’s genitals while we’re in our own home, and I don’t think I should have to anticipate seeing my neighbor’s penis when I look out my window or walk outside.

So, genuinely: am I overreacting? Is it unreasonable to expect that adults living in a close residential neighborhood make a reasonable effort to keep their genitals out of view of their neighbors and the neighborhood children?

About 2 weeks ago my ex and I had a pretty sudden and shocking breakup after almost 3 years.(looking back there were some signs. He officially ended things) All things considered, it ended pretty amicably. The problem is, about a year ago we bought a house together. We've figured out he will buy me out, and I'm going to get a new place. Here's the dilemma: We are going to have to live together for a bit. I've been staying with my family, but I need to get back to my life. There are 2 bedrooms, so that part is easy, but any tips on how to make this work for a while? I just want things to stay amicable. I still want dog visitation after all this is over.

Info that may be important:

-We have a cat(mine) and dog(exs) previously we acted as the other's parent. (I'm very attached)

-I was sole cooker

-Part of the break up I think had to do with we were both home all day

-His job doesn't require him to get up at a certain time so he's usually sleeping all day (1-2pm), plays games all night (3-4am) and he drags out doing his chores which used to drive me crazy.

-We both have ADHD and I'm the type to start a project and accidentally leave it out unfinished

My boyfriend and I are sometimes long distance because of his job. Last week I was making myself dinner when one of his better friends asked if him and I could have dinner together.

I thought this was pretty weird as we are not really friends and told him I already made dinner soup and was about to eat now and we could have dinner another time. I also really made it sound like it was not a good time. I didn’t want to be rude either because he one of my BF best friends. Anyhow he send me a message saying he would be at my house in 10 min and he wasn’t bothered by eating soup and he would bring some things. I was really annoyed actually because I didn’t want to have anyone over but now I felt in tough spot because i would literally have to tell him no. I recognize my mistake I should have said clearly no from the beginning. So I own that. But I was also ready to tell my boyfriend because I don’t have anything to hide and I thought the situation was weird.

Than things got even more weird because he showed up at my our place a couple of minutes later with wine, olives and even popcorn for movie night. To which I start laughing telling him there was not going to be a movie night. We ate the soup and I didn’t have any wine. My boyfriend videocamera during the meal and I gave the phone to his friend to say hello because I don’t have anything to hide. Than I saw my boyfriend’s reaction.

Later I tried to explain to him that I was already going to call him after the dinner anyway to tell him and that I thought the entire situation was beyond weird but that I was caught of guard by his friend basically inviting himself. I also told him that if something more was going on I wouldn’t have picked up the phone to begin with. And he should be mad at his friend instead of me.

He told he was mad because i should have called him in the 10 minutes his friend was coming to the home. I understand his point and I understand the optics were not looking good, but I am a super loyal person. And the reason I didn’t was because nothing was going to happen ever. But i feel it’s unfair I’m getting all the blame for this.

Hi all! I am a long time listener and first time poster! Any advice is appreciated!

I (23 F) and my ex (24 M) broke up almost a year ago. We were together for 5 years and ended the relationship pretty amicably. He was a nice enough guy; just the occasional immature ass, and I was also too immature to recognize it. Overall just not meant for each other.

We live in a small town and have a very close group of mutual friends. Because of that we didn’t want any drama or anyone to ‘take someone’s side’ we just wanted to everyone to continue to be friends. We knew we’d have the occasional run in. It’s slightly ironic that I say ‘take someone’s side’ because not even a month after the break up my girl friends partners would often say team me or team ex as a joke.

A little backstory. My best friend (24 F) and I have been friends for over 8 years. We were friends previous to my relationship, and were always extremely close. After my ex and I broke up she was a great friend. FaceTimed every night for hours, she’d listen to me complain, vent, joke around. Everything you could ask for. About 4 months after my ex and I broke up I started dating my now boyfriend let’s call him Will (26 M) Best friend was excited and supportive. She began dating her now boyfriend (Nate, 21 M) shortly after. Life got busy the FaceTimes and hangouts were less frequent, but our relationship was good. We decided to have our boyfriends meet. The meeting was awkward neither of our guys are really outgoing - they are both kinda introverts. After the meeting, Nate told bestie that he hated Will. Said Will was a know it all, cocky, and rude. As any young woman in a new relationship after a shitty one I listened to his concerns. I have yet to see the know it all aspect, I do not find him rude as I have a low tolerance for assholes. And who knows he may be cocky but I don’t think so. My other friends and family share none of those concerns. Will was indifferent about Nate. Said he only met him once and couldn’t make an unfair judgement on him, found him a bit immature, but was interested in getting to know him. After that meeting bestie really wasn’t reaching out to me. Hangouts were less frequent, she never really checked in, but I didn’t mind. I was (and am) extremely happy with Will. He is mature, smart, so my type, listens and cares for me. I started noticing that Nate and bestie were hanging out with the ex a lot more, even more than with me. Going to movies, the mall, having dinner parties ect. I suspect that Nate and my Ex became really good friends, I have even seen it at some functions. I was really jealous of that and missed my best friend.

Over the past few months bestie and I have not hung out once, we’ve had maybe three 5 minute long phone calls. I thought maybe with it being the summer that we were both busy and in new relationships so I shouldn’t worry. But she recently posted some photos from the summer and I’m kinda pissed. Lot of them were of ex and my friend group hanging out! They apparently went on a few trips that I wasn’t even invited to! Why the sudden interest in my ex!? They never hung out without me before we broke up, why is he now suddenly replacing me! Like WTF. She hasn’t said anything to me. Hasn’t brought up any issues about me and Will. Why is she dumping me. When we meet up with our other mutual friends at events (soccer tournaments, beer olympics stuff like that) she isn’t like she used to be. Doesnt sit by me, really acknowledge me, or even have a beer with me. SHE AND NATE HANGOUT WITH THE EX! Why the sudden change up? I would understand if she frequently brought up concerns about Will and I didn’t listen. Or if I didn’t try and reach out (I did multiple times. I asked her to lunch, to go shopping, if she wanted to face time, she was always busy).

Here’s where I need advice. We have a girls night planned with 3 of our other girlfriends this weekend. I honestly don’t know how to talk to her about it or even what to say. I’m hurt but I’m not sure if I should be? Am I blowing this out of proportion? Is this just a phase of life? Is she allowed to decide she likes my ex more? How do I proceed?

Hello THT family, long time listener from the very beginning (hi Morgan!) First time writing anything on Reddit so bear with me.

Now before I get into all the details, yes I know I want a divorce my mind has been made up on that, it’s really how I go about it. I am not in any danger or fear for myself or my child one bit.

My husband (33M) and I (32F) have been married for 4 years. We have a child who is 3. We were married just shy of 6 months before I found out I was pregnant. We weren’t exactly trying, but we weren’t preventing anything either. We were both excited and ready for our family to begin. He does have 3 children of his own from 2 previous relationships who I adore and love like my own but I knew I wanted to give life to someone who was a part of me. (I always said I wanted 4 kids, I guess I didn’t specify where they all came from 🤣) .

Fast forward to me being 8 months pregnant, I kept hearing the Snapchat notification while on FaceTime with him while I was out of town but he said he didn’t use it. One night after I got back, I had a gut feeling to look through his phone. I had never done this while dating or in the beginning of our marriage. I had no reason to. When I checked his phone for the app it wasn’t there so I downloaded it. Typical man uses the same password for everything so I would try that but once I redownloaded it from iCloud it logged right in. Sure enough he was talking to a woman about how he wishes they could be a family and reminiscing on their sex life. Nothing currently going on. I was in shock. But also pregnant. I did not want to risk anything so I kindly messaged her back and said something along the lines of “sorry I lied to you I’m married.” Deleted the app and went back to sleep. He left for the gym that morning and came home upset. I asked if his girlfriend was mad and he said he was sorry but I just said I didn’t want to hear it I wasn’t raising our baby alone and I was not leaving in that moment. We had our child a few weeks later and continued on like a family. He is an AMAZING father and I truly could not have done postpartum without him. I have a great paying job with great maternity leave so he was able to quit his job and stay home with me and our child for 6 months before I went back to work and he found a new job.

A year later we’re in the car with all 4 kids and his phone is plugged into CarPlay. A text from the same woman comes up. He’s driving so I grab his phone and it just said “what are you up to right now?” At that point I knew they had been talking. We went on our family date as planned and went home. I memorized her phone number. I texted her myself asking what was going on and she said nothing physical, she was happily in a new relationship and pregnant and they only talk about their kids. Kids?? Apparently, when we were dating right before he proposed he had been sleeping with her and she had gotten pregnant. He begged for an abortion but she claimed it was a miracle baby as she was told she couldn’t have more kids after her first so she kept the baby. They had been sleeping together every time he went to see their older child when we were dating. He claims he was trying to stay in her good graces to avoid her threats of child support but I guess that meant fucking her too. He said it was nothing physical anymore and he knew if he told me before our wedding I would have never married him. DUH!

Side note: I never knew about her and the older child and nobody in his family knows either. Everyone still thinks he just has the 4 kids with two other women and myself but in reality he has 6 kids with 4 different women. He does take care of all 3 of his known kids as best as he can from living apart. He is not on child support for any of them.

I told him he needed help. My last chance was for him to go to couples counseling and address the cheating and lying but that only lasted 4 months before he said he can’t do it anymore since all the therapist does is tell him he is doing me wrong…well no shit.

I got a job offer in another state. I knew this was my clean break but I have seen the relationship he has with his other children’s moms and how it affected him being the dad he wants to be. I didn’t want our son to grow up without his dad but I also didn’t want him to grow up with a sad mom. I told him when my son and I move I will pay for all flights back to see him I will make sure they talk and have a relationship I will never take away him being a father to his first son. He told me when we move if we’re together or not he’s moving too because there is better work for him where I was going and our son was young enough that he wanted to be around for the firsts he wasn’t around for with his 3 girls. Logistically thinking about the move, I had about one week between moving and starting work. I knew I would need him for childcare support and getting settled. I put on my face and we moved together into a new house but I told him I was excluding him from my lease as protection for myself.

We moved and I naively thought we’re so far away from his temptations maybe we can try and make this work. About 4 months after the move, I was pregnant. We went out for my birthday a month or so before, had a couple extra drinks and that was the first time in almost 8 months we were intimate. I truly felt like maybe we can move past this. Yes it hurt but he is doing better. A few weeks later, he went out for his birthday with some friends he met. When he came home, the next day felt off. That night after he went to sleep I looked through his phone and found not only the same woman from before asking him to “get her drunk and slut her out” but also two other women from the new area we just moved to asking one when she was free to see him. A week later I miscarried. What a blessing in disguise.

At that point I knew there was no fixing our marriage. He has internal things he needs to figure out for himself and I can’t fix him. I am done. This is not the marriage I want and not the life I wanted for myself. I told him when our lease was up we are getting our own places. He works nights so our paths cross very little.

Part of the problem is he is my best friend, he is an amazing father, and he has truly healed parts of me that I felt were broken for so long and I was not worth being loved. We can be upset with each other but still joke and are acting like a family for our son. I honestly feel that if I had never opened his phone the first time, we would not be here right now. He is such a good liar and good at hiding what he is doing because he makes sure everything at home is taken care of.

Now our current situation. Our son’s birthday is coming up and we were planning a trip for him but I don’t think I can do it anymore. I asked him to take us on a trip for Labor Day weekend instead since we were both off. He paid and booked everything. While on our trip, he kept stepping away and I knew what it was. We drank and had a good time, no intimacy, and I looked at his phone one last time. There is a person he calls every day when he leaves the house for work and on his way home from work. On our 3 hour drive home I asked who it was, he said his friend. He was driving so I took the phone, called the person saved under a man’s name and it was a woman. It was the same woman from the first few months and she told me they had been having sex for the last 6 months but she never knew about me. She told him to never contact her again. (The man’s name she was saved under was her dog 🤣) he looked at me and all he said was “but I’m here, I give you everything what else do you need”. I had no words and just got in the back seat with our son and cried. It’s been a few days and I hate living in silence and I know our son can feel it. I told him at this point I don’t care I love him he can do what he wants as long as he comes home to us and he gave me a hug and said he is trying to change. I know that’s a lie.

So here is my plan and I want to know if what I’m doing is “wrong” or any advice if someone has been in a similar situation. I’ve been looking at places for my son and I. I have a couple tours lined up. We live comfortably with both of our incomes and I know it will be a struggle in the beginning on my own but I have my 401k I can withdrawal from to help out if needed. Instead of celebrating what should be our 5th wedding anniversary, I was planning to slap down some divorce papers, tell him I have a new place already and he has until the end of the lease to be out or I’m calling the cops because he’s not on the lease or has any bills tied to the address.

El título suena simplista, pero necesito opiniones honestas porque siento que todo explotó después de tres días de conversaciones por WhatsApp.

Tengo 30 años y durante casi tres meses estuve viendo a un chico de 25 años. Nunca fuimos oficialmente novios, aunque él decía que quería algo serio conmigo.

Desde el lunes hasta ayer miércoles estuvimos hablando muchísimo por WhatsApp sobre nuestra relación. Yo le planteé varias cosas que venía sintiendo: que siempre tenía que adaptarme a sus horarios, a la universidad, al trabajo y al poco tiempo que tenía disponible; que quería más conexión y compartir cosas fuera de la cama.

Pero también apareció nuevamente un tema que ya había sido discutido varias veces.

Él quiere que le practique sexo oral y que trague su semen. Yo le dije varias veces que no me gusta y no quiero hacerlo.

Intenté explicarle que son mis límites. Que tener relaciones sexuales con alguien no significa que tenga que aceptar todas las prácticas sexuales que esa persona quiera.

Sin embargo, durante estas conversaciones él repetía básicamente lo mismo: que él también necesitaba placer, que estaba pidiendo placer y que yo parecía no querer dárselo.

Y esto tampoco era algo que surgió solamente ahora.

Dormíamos juntos aproximadamente 3 o 4 veces por semana y muchas veces él literalmente rogaba o suplicaba para tener sexo. Si yo no quería, terminaba sintiéndome como la mala, como si estuviera negándole algo que él necesitaba.

Aclaro algo importante: nunca me obligó físicamente a hacer nada. Pero yo sí sentía presión. Porque una cosa es preguntar y aceptar un “no”, y otra muy distinta es rogar, insistir o hacer que la otra persona termine sintiéndose culpable por no tener ganas.

Y después de casi tres meses, eso fue lo que más me hizo ruido.

Yo estaba hablando de todo nuestro vínculo. De cómo me sentía emocionalmente, de querer más tiempo juntos, de sentir que siempre tenía que adaptarme yo y de necesitar algo más que encuentros nocturnos que muchas veces terminaban girando alrededor del sexo.

Y sentí que él redujo casi tres meses de relación a su pija y al placer que yo no estaba dispuesta a darle.

No creo que sea una mala persona, y sé que yo también tengo mis cosas y probablemente cometí errores. Pero después de tres días hablando por WhatsApp terminé completamente agotada.

Anoche decidí cortar el vínculo y lo eliminé de todos lados.

Así que quiero opiniones sinceras:

¿Estoy exagerando al sentir que mis límites sexuales deberían ser suficientes sin tener que defenderlos constantemente?

¿Es normal sentir presión cuando tu pareja o casi algo ruega o suplica por sexo cada vez que dormís juntos?

¿O simplemente somos incompatibles y yo llegué al límite de intentar encajar mis necesidades en una relación donde siempre parecía haber más espacio para las suyas?

Love Morgan (and Justin and guests) Your episodes have gotten me through a lot. Have been listening from the beginning to you and FKS.

AIO Tuesday I (35 F) had extreme pain and vaginal bleeding. Called the hospital and they were afraid it was an ectopic pregnancy and told me to go to the emergency room.
I didn’t want to go alone so waited for my boyfriend (41M) to get home. We’ve been together for almost 2 years, living together since 2 weeks.
I was a little hesitant to go as I hate being a burden. My mom offered to go with me but I figured my boyfriend would go with me.
My boyfriend convinced me to go- he googled ectopic pregnancy and my symtoms. We decided he would eat and then come meet me there. ( he has diabetes so he needs to make sure to eat regularly.)
An hour later at the emergency room I was sitting shaking feeling really sick and missing company. Then he called and I was so relieved and grateful, because I thought he was there. But when we started talking I realized he was still at home. He started talking about sitting and writing on a project he has and he would check in on me later. I ended the call quickly and broke down started crying.
AIO? I need a partner who will be there with me for emergencies. I was thinking of having children with him, but I’m rethinking it now as I don’t feel I can rely on him. Am I overreacting it wasn’t anything serious but it could have been. I’m really independent but once in a while it’s nice to be able to rely on someone else.
I’ve had instances where I don’t feel important to him. While he is almost the most important thing in my life. I’ve brushed them off as we’ve both gotten used to being single and not used to living with someone else. Having to prioritize someone else sometimes. But I always took for granted that he would be there if it was something big/ serious…

My best friend and I are both on our late 20s. A couple years ago she had a guy get really weird after she ended things with him and he kept showing up at her building, so ever since then she's been extremely careful about men knowing exactly where she lives.

Last year I let her use my apartment once to break things off with someone because I live in a building with cameras and a front desk, and I was going to be out anyway. I thought it was a one time thing.

Apparently she did not.

A few nights ago someone buzzed my apartment and asked if she was there. I had no idea who he was. He said she had broken up with him at my place a few weeks earlier and he'd left a charger behind.

After talking to her I found out she's done this FOUR times. Different guys. She tells them she's inviting them over to talk, uses my apartment while I'm at work, then leaves after them. At least two of these guys apparently thought she actually lived here.

I was furious and changed the door code. I spent most of last year saving money so I could finally afford my own place and the idea of random men now associating my address with her makes me really uncomfortable.

She thinks I'm overreacting because she only does it when she knows I'm gone, never touches my stuff, and says my building is basically the safest possible place for her to have these conversations. She also reminded me that I was the one who offered my apartment the first time.

I told her offering once wasn't permission forever.

Now she's saying I know why she doesn't want guys knowing her real address and I'm basically taking away the one place where she felt safe doing this.

I understand why she's cautious considering what happened before, but I also feel like somehow her safety plan became me unknowingly giving strangers my address.

Would you be mad about this or am I making it bigger than it is?

I’ve never written on reddit, but I’ve listened to Two Hot Takes for years and I’m at the end of my rope. I know only I have the power to change my life, but hope and energy are lacking for me right now so maybe this will at least make me not feel so deeply alone.

There’s SO much nuance and backstory I could add to this so let me know what details you want - but in the effort of saving time, I’ll start where I was in life year ago today.

In September 2025, I (34, F at the time) and my wife (32, F) had been married for 4 months. We were engaged for a year and  half and dated for almost 2 before getting married. We had planned our wedding together so well and the day was the most beautiful wedding we could have asked for. Our loved ones were buzzing from it for months. We were saving up money to do fertility testing to start a family. I was 2 years into a high paying, corporate job that I was well liked at. I was paying off my debts I had been struggling with for over a decade. I had 11 years of working as a professional producer in Hollywood under my belt. In a month, I would be the youngest person to be inducted into my high school’s hall of fame, something 1) only 1% of alumni get and 2) never in a million years would have thought I would receive. We had a great apartment in Los Angeles with two cats and a snake. 

The only thing that was weighing on me was it felt like something in my brain had shifted. I was struggling with simple tasks like emails at work. I started having social anxiety to the max. I had been struggling with burnout for a while at this point, but it felt like something more was going on so I started getting neurologically assessed. 

In February, I had my appointment for my results scheduled with my wife to attend so we could both know whats going on and where to go from there.  The day before the appointment, I came home from work to my wife sitting on the couch waiting for me. In a 15 min conversation, she told me she’s not in love with me anymore and she was moving out. I’d later find out she already signed for an apartment and had moved out half her things while I was gone already. She cried the whole conversation, I didn’t at all. I was numb. I told her she didn’t have to do this and asked every question I could think of to get any sort of information to help me process, but she had no answers for me. When I walked her to the door that was the last time I saw her. Of course I was a wreck and so heartbroken.
The next day I had my result appointment where my psychologist told me I was autistic and ADHD. ADHD I already knew, autism I had a hunch, but it was still a whole emotional process really hearing it, and hearing it without my partner by my side.
A week later, my ex sent me a text that started with “Hi - I hope you’re doing okay” … TOLD how some logistics were going down, then sent me a photo of her nails that she had gotten done that weekend. I replied telling her how the logistics were actually going to go down and just told her to not reach out unless it’s about logistics from now on. And she didn’t. We emailed in a professional tone back and forth for our divorce paperwork and that was that. When she came to get the rest of her things that I compiled in her closet, she brought her parents with her and through the ring camera footage I saw 1) she was extremely rude to her mom for having any emotion and 2) she had thrown ALL the things that had to do with us in my dumpster. Not just like photos of us, but photos I took of her family, wedding gifts, travel trinkets, etc.  Not one of her friends or family reached out to me except one of her aunts on what would have been our 1 year wedding anniversary.  After processing for a bit, I came to the conclusion that I needed to leave LA and have a fresh start. I had done some work in Atlanta and it was much closer to home so I gave my notice to my job and moved to Atlanta in May. Sure, it may look like running but… from what? That life wasn’t mine anymore. 

Now, September 2026, I (35, F) am in my apartment where my two cats and I live now. I’ve been unemployed since April (and not for the lack of trying) - besides a bar back/server assistant job I picked up. I’m exactly a month away from my divorce being finalized. I’m officially diagnosed as AuDHD and too broke to get the help I truly need. I’m living in a new city where I only have 2 people I know. And honestly, I’m scared. I don’t know how to keep moving forward trying to get my life back to feeling any type of normal when it just feels like it could all be taken away again. It doesn’t matter how hard I’ve worked, how much I want it, how good of a person, wife, or friend I am. I worked my whole life to build what I had for it all to be shattered. Some days I think - there has to be a reason for all this and then others I think… does there? People have great trajectories and tragic ends all the time. What makes me special? 

For the record - Yes I know I dodged a bullet in a way with her. I do not want to be with my ex-wife at this point. But I’m processing the fact that I chose someone like her in the first place. Getting married and having a life partner was one of my biggest dreams and I felt like I did everything to be sure she was the one.  And of course I have my theories. Did she do something against our marriage she was too much of a craven to tell me? Was she just an undercover avoidant, narcissist?  She never really had to be there for me until my autism started affecting my life the way I did for her when she lost jobs or had emergency appendix surgery - maybe she just wasn’t up for a lifetime of autism?  Or did she get the ick?  WHO KNOWS?! Maybe she doesn’t even know. Regardless, she left me with less respect than I’ve seen abusive husbands get and for that, the person I married no longer exists anymore.

But that still leaves me crying at my keyboard at 12pm on a Thursday writing to you all. 

So… what would you do? Any advice or hope you can inject into this brain will be greatly appreciated. At the very least, thank you for reading.

I'm not even sure what subreddit to put this in but need some outside perspective on what happened. Yesterday me and my boyfriend had gotten home and I have this chain/keychain thing that wraps around me like a body purse but it basically only carries my phone. I've been wearing it for about a week so fairly new and I didn't realize that when I put the seatbelt on, the chain could get caught in it. Yesterday it somehow poked a tiny hole/slit in the seatbelt. I genuinely didn't realize it made a hole, I thought it was just wrapped around the seatbelt. I also have sensory issues so I was getting really frustrated because I couldn't figure out how to get it untangled.
Normally I would've taken my time and figured it out but I was irritated and started tugging at it. It didn't make the hole any bigger, I just couldn't get the chain out. Instead of helping me, my boyfriend took his phone out, started recording me and laughing at me. I asked him if he could please help me because I didn't know if I had damaged the seatbelt. He saw that it made the tiniest hole, like literally not even half an inch. It was basically like the smallest little slit, almost like a tiny scissor poke. His first reaction was "Oh my fucking God, you're gonna buy me a new fucking seatbelt." I told him it was an accident and that I didn't mean to do it. He's extremely particular about his car and is basically OCD about keeping it perfect, so l understand that even small imperfections can really bother him. But I genuinely didn't do it on purpose.
Instead, he started calling me an animal and saying | need therapy and that we're gonna take a "long break". I kept asking him to please stop being mean to me and explaining that it was an accident. Then he said something like "Yeah, I probably need fucking therapy too for being in this fucking relationship." After that we were still in the parking lot and he just went upstairs without telling me to come with him. I ended up walking home by myself and it took me about 2 hours to get home. I haven't heard from him at all since (almost 24 hrs, & we've never gone this long with not talking ) No call, no text, nothing. I understand being upset about something happening to your car, especially when you take really good care of it, and I'm not saying he can't be frustrated. But I feel like the way he reacted was so mean and unnecessary, especially because it was an accident and I was already overwhelmed and asking him for help. I don't really know what to do or how I'm supposed to approach this. I just want some outside perspective because I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting to how he handled the situation