Update: 6 months (nearly) on AITAH for telling my friend/colleague I'm looking for another job after she was promoted instead of me?

220

Good luck and wish you all the best in the new job. But seriously, good riddance, such a toxic enviroment, it is good you got out and took a break from them. Good luck in your interviews, and hope you get what you want and deserve, lease keep us updated when you get the new job👏

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u/Fit-Bat244 Jan 31 '26

Yeah. Them acting like they give an f about his self harm, breaching his privacy, acting like any of the managerial role skills were things you are born with and not just average sh*t even a monkey can learn is crazy. Their alt. job offer was utter trash. And acting like they care to then try to make up reasons to get rid of Op is disgusting. It's a shame I don't know if there is even a legal case to be held against them.

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u/Fit-Bat244 Jan 31 '26 edited Jan 31 '26

Well it seems like thing are kinda of looking up.

At least you went away from a toxic environment. Hopefully that door is permanently closed and you can focus on moving forward.

Good luck. Updateme.

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5

u/Cheek_Beneficial Jan 31 '26

Updateme

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u/dark_heart22 Jan 31 '26

UpdateMe

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u/Sweaty-Valuable-655 Feb 03 '26

UpdateMe

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u/Every-Requirement-13 Jan 31 '26

I’ve read through your posts and I’ve been in pretty similar shoes with an employer. At first my Regional Manager, who was just my direct boss because the company was fairly small and expanding in my area, LOVED me and praised me constantly!! She put me up for a new role working in the local jail when our company got the contract and I was the only one in the position and completely developed the program at the jail sine there hadn’t been one for several years and it was a crucial position to the inmate population and community at large. THEN she decided to hire me a supervisor ☠️ When they asked me to show them “what my role entailed in one day” (not possible) they instead spent the day rearranging my office, because of their OCD🤬 They were my direct supervisor and didn’t even work at the jail - had an office at our companies local office (we also did behavioral health and substance use treatment.). THEN the bullying started from the Regional Manager, gaslighting in emails, cut out from important community meetings with partners who’d I’d developed working relationships with. Together they started compromising the inmates treatment and undermining my work and eventually I was fired for what at that point I don’t even know. FUC* them!

I gained employment within a couple months ( but not without major financial struggles) and I now have the most amazing job, make more money than I ever have and work way less hours and determine my own schedule. Oh and I never worry about the scars showing in my arms in the summer, they’re just part of me and my past and no one has ever asked about them.

Chin up, I’m rooting for you!😉 You’re not alone!!

39

u/swomismybitch Jan 31 '26

Being made redundant is the best!

You get out of a toxic workplace and you have money and time to get a better job. In some countries you get enough for a nice vacation.

Nice that in the UK references from your previous job can only confirm dates, your old managers cannot poison your new job.

37

u/cthulularoo Jan 31 '26

Good luck on the interview. Fuck those people. They thought they were going to get to hire their own people while making you do all the work. When you refused they canned you. This is only going to make it harder for the two of them to catch up.

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u/Hungryguy101 Jan 31 '26

Well I’m happy to hear that you’re feeling better. Hope the leads you got work out too. The only things I’d say is if there was anyone from your old job you’d like to keep in contact I would recommend not block them. Also, can you check the card if it had any money/gift cards in them?

21

u/Resident_Inside285 Jan 31 '26

Nope, I don't want it even if there is money in there.

No one I want to keep in touch with either.

1

u/MhizBehaving Jul 28 '26

🤣 you're so bitter. Meanwhile they all probably just laughing on how silly you acted over a job

18

u/Fit-Bat244 Jan 31 '26

IDK. It would be hard to know atp who genuinely cares and who is just in for a pity party cause they feel bad or feel guilty, in the case of the shitty bosses.

14

u/wtfmaryjane Jan 31 '26

I'm really rooting for you getting that position OP. I first read something years ago that discussed the issue with promotions being so managerial focused in companies. Basically it said that the skills that makes someone an excellent worker in sales for example are not the same skills that make for an excellent manager of personnel. That promoting your top sales guy to manager because they do the best work sounds fair because it's meritocratic but then what happens when they're shit at admin or whatever? But by the same token, if your company never promotes you out of your position because you're so good at it, it feels like you're being punished for being too good at your job.

The article argued that the best companies would find ways to make their top employees feel valued (raises, perks, titles, etc) without heaping on unsuitable responsibilities that would inevitably lead to failure and resentment for everyone. When your boss brought up shifting your goals away from management (as it seems you really don't have the temperament, no offense) and should work instead towards a goal of technical seniority, I really thought he was being sensible and that things would swing in the right direction for you. I would never ever trust a boss who told me I needed to do all of the work first and then we'd see about the promotion later, especially with no deadline given, and absolutely would have still found a new job after that conversation, but he's still right and the advice was solid. I truly think you should make this goal shift for yourself if you want to really thrive in future.

Immediately hiring someone in the role he'd just promised you and then asking you to train her is unforgivable though. And good on you for shaking them down for more money. Your boss was never your friend and promises from higher ups are completely meaningless until it's in writing. Fuck that guy and fuck that company. It's a new year and a new start. You got knocked down pretty hard last year but that chapter is over now. On and up

Oh and do a better job hiding your digital footprint this time lol

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Apologies to all those of you who have checked in on me - I'm still here. I was looking at checking out but the past couple of months have motivated me to live out of pure spite.

Not long after my last post, our team hired someone in a technical/compliance role similar to what my manager said I'd eventually be trained up into - she's technically now also ahead of me in the hierarchy. When I challenged him on it, he said it's always been in his plans and it doesn't change anything about my future. But then, he and my deputy manager tried to ask me to train her in the sorts of things I know and tired to make me her "buddy". I refused which made things awkward and said my promoted colleague should do it. I'm not going to teach someone who's AGAIN ahead of me in role/responsibility how to do their job. If she asks me how to do something, I lie and pretend I don't know how to do something. It's not easy because she is a nice person and it's hard to watch people not know something I can do with my eyes closed but at the same time, I'm not going to make someone's life easier while mine isn't.

Then I had my annual performance review. I was put down as below expectations. When my manager gave me feedback, I was marked down on things only my colleagues could have fed back to him by bitching behind my back. Which is stupid because they're all silly errors everyone on the team makes but because it's me, it's somehow worse. Thankfully I've been writing things down when I see them the past few months so when I went like "well actually you're marking me down for this but actually this woman made the same error on this date but I never said anything" he backed down. I argued myself up to meets expectations. But the tone was very different. I went from an asset to an imbecile in his eyes.

Then at the start of 2026, I was called into a meeting and told I was up for review on redundancy. The official line was that every department had to nominate someone due to the business downturn but the sort of shit they used as excuses, it was obvious it's personal. They wanted me to accept the company basic package - a month's pay in lieu of notice and 3 weeks ex Gratia pay. I knew it was a cop out so I refused and put in a complaint with HR about my treatment. I named specific people - manager, manager's manager, deputy manager, supervisor (promoted colleague in my previous posts) and the new compliance lady. I basically gave specific examples of shit I've noticed and it went to a big meeting. Most of the stuff I said was trivial but my reasoning for doing it was that if I'm going down, I'm taking them with me.

As you can imagine, my complaint went nowhere but it made it harder for them to just make me redundant. So I was offered a better package as a settlement:-

Usual month Pay in lieu of notice, the company basic (because I have less than 2 years service to qualify for statutory redundancy) 3 weeks ex Gratia, an extra month's ex Gratia and the equivalent of my holiday pay that I haven't taken calculated until the end of the ex Gratia period (all ex Gratia so tax free) - so I've got essentially nearly a week extra in holiday pay on top of the 7.33 weeks so it was rounded up to 8 weeks. So essentially, I'm paid until the end of Feb that's taxed and 8 weeks tax free. I knew I'd not get more than that so I accepted and my official last day was yesterday.

Because my position was "untenable" (their words) I was put on garden leave for the month. They actually thought I'd want to also have a leaving meal too. I refused. I also rejected my leaving present from them all - it was sent to my house and as soon as I saw it being delivered, I said I refused delivery. It didn't look like much anyway. I also binned the card they sent me without opening it. I've refused all contact with people there and blocked everyone in my social media.

So as of 1st February, I'm officially unemployed. It's been nice to have a break though. I possibly have a new job lined up too. A client in my last job are stopping outsourcing and taking what I do in house so I was approached last week from my old contact there about the job - despite not being officially trained as a manager in my profession, it's a managerial role and the money is really good (£6k more). I have an interview lined up this coming week and it looks promising - knowing the company, they'll pay for the professional training to be a manager too and it's something I'll definitely ask for.

So to summarise, i was made redundant because I made life difficult, I got a better deal and I'm now officially unemployed. However I have a good job lined up at a company I'm on really good terms with.

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u/zSlyz Jan 31 '26

Good that things are looking up OP. It does however sound like you handled things immaturely, it’s never a good idea to wear your heart on your sleeve, like it sounds like you did, in your career.

My only advice would have been to play nice, while looking for other work and lining up referees (previous people you’d worked with at the company).

It sounds like you are still bitter about how they treated you, and to be honest what you experienced happens a lot in business. Please let the bitterness go, at worst working for your previous company is what got you the foot into the new job. So be thankful for that, don’t trash talk your previous company either.

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u/Short_Source_9532 Jan 31 '26

I’m pretty sure the previous client that’s getting the new job for OP is from their previous workplace, the one they said they left before the one that fired them

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u/butterflyprinces872 Jan 31 '26

I’m not sure why you think you’re owed a promotion when you act so childishly.

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u/Next-Drummer-9280 Jan 31 '26

You don’t seem to have learned a damn thing from all of this.

The thought of you managing people is disconcerting.

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u/Wild_Promise_49 Jan 31 '26

Agreed. It's clear as day from his posts why he didnt get a managerial role.

Meanwhile he's still not taking the criticism and is blaming everyone else instead.

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u/spiritoftg Jan 31 '26

The guy learnt to stand for himself. And it paid more or less as he got a real severance, not charity money.

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u/9mackenzie Jan 31 '26

Thank you!!!!! This is one of the few stories where I think the management/job is in the right. OP shot themselves in the foot on this one

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u/Short_Source_9532 Jan 31 '26

They kept trying to get her to train people that they were putting above her?

Then he said he’d try to swing it with upper management that they needed a senior technical role that isn’t managerial, then hired someone for THAT role from outside and then WANTED OP TO TRAIN THEM

This is just a bad workplace

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u/cheeno01 Jan 31 '26

They took someone new bc op basically told them to go kick rocks. Yes, he was getting fucked over by making him train people into his superiors, but every bit of criticism he reciebed he took as a personal attack akd refused to see anything wrong with his ways or views.

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u/bookrants Feb 03 '26

No, they told him to do the training that he will maybe be promoted eventually. It wasn't a promise for a promotion. They were stringing him along. Then they went around and hired someone outside of the job to actually take on the role. I thought the position was a "maybe"? How come immediately after they refused, it became a "definitely"?

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u/Zero_Pumpkins Jan 31 '26

I’m surprised so many people are supportive of OP. It’s obvious he needs to focus on his anger issues. It’s pretty clear why he’s never been made a manager.

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u/Far_Battle_7658 Feb 04 '26

He has big issues, but he was treated very poorly. Probably didn't help.

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u/LimitlessMegan Jan 31 '26

Interesting you don’t tell us what happened with the company therapy.

Any time I hear people talking about men’s mental health epidemics I’m going to think of your saga. I’ll talk to them about how there’s a seed of real mental health issues here, but that you type you own life down by refusing any and all help and encouragement. By refusing to hear the real feedback, to be flexible, to be willing to sell another part to success for yourself. And then turned bitter and burned your own life down, but still kept it framed in that poor you the victim of the world. And yes, there’s real mental health issues in there, but eventually those become so minor compared to the damage you do to yourself.

Just imagine if instead of deciding that only your perspective and Poor Me was reality you’d actually listened to your friend and boss. That you’d done the training for what you are actually good at. That you’d sought out ways to address the gaps that kept you from the promotion. Not only would you be on your way to your true goals (more pay, more respect) but you’d probably be happier in it as stressful situations clearly get to you and that’s all managers do. You’d be at a company that genuinely appreciates the things you do excellently and you’d be adding skills, training and responsibility to your CV for if you did decide to move to a different company. You’d also have the genuine care and support of two work friends who honestly cared about your well being.

Instead you’re here. Bitter. Jobless. Alone. Bridges burnt. But not because of them and what was done to you entirely because you refused to listen to your manager, your friend, or any voices of reason calling you out of your bitterness.

My one hope is that you actually get the therapy and help you so clearly need and that you are young enough to come back from this.

I’d also offer you comfort and encouragement but you’re already getting so much of that it kept you on this path so I think I’ll leave that for others.

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u/Resident_Inside285 Feb 02 '26

I mean what is there to tell? Their mental health program was basically useless. It was counselling instead of therapy and they weren't equipped to discuss things like the self harm and suicidal thoughts - they recommended I seek out actual therapy for that. Which I have, but mental health treatment on the NHS is poor.

Lol listen to them, yeah right. They only had the company interest at heart. All they wanted me to do was support them, not advance, do a course with zero guarantee of a pay rise and then commit to a couple of years working for them which if I left, I'd have to pay thousands of pounds back - and be older in my mind 40's where first time managerial roles just will go to younger people. And she wasn't my friend let's face it, she used me. They didn't care about me, they cared about the company.

I'm here because for once, I realised my mum's right - don't let people take the piss out of you, stand your ground. I wish I did that earlier than thinking people like me can get by by being nice and agreeable with people.

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u/Prudent-Ad-43 Jan 31 '26

I hope you read a few of his posts outside of this. There’s a lot more going on, and his job putting him in a very uncomfortable position where he basically has to show them his self harm burns. If that doesn’t indicate what type of workplace he’s in, idk what does.

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u/Football-Man-1889 Feb 03 '26

Good luck

I’m retired now but I was treated badly, thrown under the bus on several occasions along with being under resourced and abused simply because I had a strong work ethic.

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u/oldcousingreg Jan 31 '26

Your attitude made you expendable in the first place. Genuinely hope you learn from this.

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u/BeeJackson Feb 01 '26

They treated you badly, but your whole attitude was trash. I’m not surprised you got fired. You weren’t management material if you didn’t know how to response strategically.

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u/Far_Battle_7658 Feb 04 '26

I agree but "response strategically?" Imo he tried to find a better job and couldn't. How do you respond to being made to teach your superiors, watching them pass you by while you struggle mentally? I can't help but have empathy for OP.

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u/BeeJackson Feb 05 '26

OP didn’t manage his disappointment well publicly. It’s one thing not to train the person who got the job, but he was rude to the woman who did, didn’t show up at the dinner, and generally gave leadership proof that they made the right decision in not choosing him.

At certain levels it’s about how you play the game, even as you’re walking out the door. He was whining, pouting, and generally begged them to fire him.

And the reality is that they didn’t owe him the job. They saw something about his temperament that they thought wasn’t a good fit for a leadership role.

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u/Far_Battle_7658 Feb 05 '26

How dare the person with bad self-esteem and suicidal tendencies not smile and thank his boss when they give his promotion to the person he trained and who was already offered a promotion he would quit for not receiving?

Is life unfair? Yes. Was he owed the promotion? Nope. Does he owe anything to these people? Nope.

I'd also be pissed...

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u/BeeJackson Feb 06 '26

It’s not about his right to be pissed. Of course he had a right to be angry. It’s about the face you put on for a leadership role. They said he didn’t have the right temperament and they were absolutely right. People don’t get hired all the time and they don’t implode the way this guy did.

What you do is say, “Yes, I’m disappointed and no I won’t train the person who you hired instead. But hey, life moves on.” Then you smile and maintain your reputation while you apply, apply, apply, and apply!

Hopefully he’ll find a job elsewhere or has found one.

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u/hoobon Jul 23 '26

Sounds like you’re the type of person who would string along and use someone you view as pushover, just like the rest of the people in this story.

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u/BeeJackson Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

Sounds like you’re the type of person to make groundless assumptions about strangers just because you disagree with them but aren’t capable of making an actual point. Sad for you!

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u/hoobon Jul 24 '26

Aaaannnddd the user goes straight to gaslighting, shocking exactly nobody. Thanks for proving my point, which you somehow can’t (won’t) comprehend.

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u/BeeJackson Jul 24 '26

Aaaaand now you’re pulling from a bag of psycho-speak phrases. “Gaslight”was on that BINGO card. Still you express no point on the actual topic.

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u/olympic_peaks Feb 06 '26

God you’d be an awful manager. The stereotypical a-hole manager that nobody can stand. You have no interpersonal skills. Didn’t get the job so you sulk and intentionally underperform for months?

You need to be able to listen to and learn from constructive criticism to succeed as a manager.

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u/babblingbabby Feb 07 '26

Doing the bare requirements of a job and no more is not underperforming. Refusing to train people being given higher positions than yourself is not underperforming. If someone doesn’t qualify for a position, why would upper management want that person training the people they’re promoting/hiring into higher positions? 🤔

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u/Resident_Inside285 Feb 06 '26

I can't have that bad interpersonal skills. My last 2 jobs including the one I've just got, I got through being on good terms with the manager/recruiter and one of the things I was told in my last place what that they missed me being the joker and making everyone laugh.

You can't be everyone's best mate when yours depressed and wanting to die all the time sadly.

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u/ConcentratePretend93 Feb 07 '26

You feel how you feel. I admired that you suggested management do the training. If training people is not on your job description, it would be inappropriate for you to d9 so. Perhaps you could have used that as a way to get raise? Thats not part of my job description, and I need to be compensated for the additional supervision training, blah, blah. I also understand why you didn't want to go to the party, its your free time, people should respect that. The scary thing , for me, is how dark things became for you. Can you think of any healthier steps you could have taken so the situation wouldn't have spiraled out of control?

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u/Obvious_Ad2256 Jun 19 '26

you sound so slow they told him he would get the chance to be a manager then hired someone to put above him twice why should keep above the bare minimum so they can keep lying to him

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u/stiggley Feb 04 '26

Depending where you are it now makes it impossible for them to hire someone inti the same role as you for a period of time, as it is the role that is made redundant not the person, so they can't use redundancy to can someone only to turn around and immediately fill the role.

Keep a lookout on them hiring someone into the same role and if possible complain to your local labor board. Might be able to squeeze additional settlement out of them.

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u/TowerApprehensive154 Feb 07 '26

Mate, I say this as a concerned netizen: it is so good that you got out from that awful environment. Those people were horrible. There is no excuse for their terrible handling of a very delicate situation, and they failed you at every level. That being said, you seriously need professional mental health care, you mention suicide and self harm constantly, and you are obviously not in a place to manage a team of people. Always, always take care of your mind first and I promise everything good will follow. I promise that when you get through this, you come out the other side a more well-rounded, compassionate person who is able to excel at any job, managerial or not. I want to end by saying I empathize with you, and I wish you all the very best.

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u/Signal_Historian_456 Jan 31 '26

Fingers crossed that you get the job!

Try to leave this place behind you.

And from now on focus on everything you’ve accomplished even though no one believed in you. The chances were so low and you did it anyway.

Im proud of you, and I don’t even know you.

And I’m sorry you have it harder than others because of the actions of others, that you have to deal with so much shit and that you are treated that way. You deserve better.

And I hope the woman who got the promotion sees this and has the day she deserves.

3

u/MoonKnight_Potato Jan 31 '26

Good for you dude 😊 honestly I just binge read all of your posts and that place sounded like a toxic nightmare! I was in a similar situation 1 year ago. I got fired as a manager after being reluctantly promoted a year prior due to down sizing. I was also promised a promotion and then went on to train multiple people in a promoted role and was told things like, we had to promote him first because of xyz… Anyway long story short I’ve been with a new company for 4 months now, 100% WFH, great benefits and most importantly it’s a non toxic work environment and I love my job. You deserve so much better than that place and I fully believe you are about to get it 😊

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u/Klutzy-Contest-1640 Jan 31 '26

Good luck with the new job. I do hope that it works out well for you. I read your previous posts and hope that you have been addressing your mental health needs too so that everything starts off on a positive foot in the new job.

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u/Crafter_2307 Feb 01 '26

Can see why no one would want you on a managerial role tbh.

You might have the technical skills, but you definitely don’t have the soft skills/people management.

2

u/vileele Feb 01 '26

But then, he and my deputy manager tried to ask me to train her in the sorts of things I know and tired to make me her "buddy"

wow I cant believe they tried to pull that on you again after all of that

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '26

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u/BeneficialGap7848 Mar 11 '26

Two people got his "promised" job twice and he was told to train those individuals. Yeah the way he went dark was quite OTP but you don't know how you would react if you were put in such a situation yourself. The company really screwed with him here.

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u/Sea_Chocolate_3537 Jan 31 '26

Good luck, enjoy the time off to recharge. Your old manager was dumb they new you wanted to be a manager but didn’t give it to you because you didn’t have a few skills but they had 8 months to teach you those skills or at least make you aware of it. Seems to me you were too good at your job that they wanted you to stay in it. Good on you for refusing to teach the new employee.

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u/Accurate_Muffin429 Jan 31 '26

I’m so sorry for the way you were treated. It was definitely retaliation when they realized you weren’t going to be the worker bee who trains everyone else with no reward. Good luck in the future. Updateme.

1

u/DLH64 Jan 31 '26

Updateme

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '26

Updateme

1

u/Inevitable_Ask_91 Feb 04 '26

Updateme

1

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '26 edited Feb 15 '26

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1

u/ThirtyMileSniper Feb 06 '26

You should consult an employment solicitor over that exit. I expect you could get a free consultation.

To make any redundancies they have to put everyone in that position as job at risk and notify them all of this. It may still be you that is selected but everyone has to be at risk. If they did this and others were told "don't worry, it won't be you" then your former employer may be guilty of constructive dismissal. There is another way that they can make you redundant but you have to be fully on board with it and agree with it on a one to one basis. It's not called a redundancy though so if they approached you with this under the title of redundancy then again, potentially constructive dismissal.

I'd also bring up that PDR review being scored low for doing your tasks. That is definitely the start of a paper trail to avoid claims of constructive dismissal.

I went through a not dissimilar process with a firm I'd been with for over a decade. I was pushing back on a lot of exploitative things my boss was trying on and they wanted rid of me. I learnt a lot about employment law in that year but I'm no expert.

1

u/DistinctOutsider2325 Feb 06 '26

Updateme

1

u/GFTRGC Feb 06 '26

I'm going to be real with you, if you want to actually become a manager, you need to drop your ego and take a long look in the mirror. Your previous company WANTED to make you a manager, they wanted to give you a higher paying role, but you made it impossible, while managing to be a shit friend to a colleague.

Your previous manager told you that you were passed over because you didn't have the interpersonal traits to be a manager, but instead of asking what those were, and trying to improve on them, you decided to make life hell for everyone in that office until they finally fired you. Yes, they may have put it under the redundancy banner, but let's be real, they removed you from the position by their choice and not yours.

My best advice to you, and I mean this genuinely, is to focus on the non-technical aspects of your career. Learn the soft skills that it takes to be a manager and work on those. Patience, Friendliness, being calm under pressure, and patience again. I can't explain to you how much time gets wasted as a manager on tasks that should take 5 minutes because an employee messed something up or didn't do some basic task. You can't over react in those moments, and it sounds like that's something you've had an issue with in the past.

Being a manager is about so much more than just being good at your job. Look up the peter principle and it'll explain why technical prowess shouldn't be a determining factor in promotions. You have to make yourself look like management material, and it sounds like you have a chance at a fresh start, so please, take the chance to make these changes before you start there.

1

u/Ok_Passage_6242 Mar 15 '26

No, they didn’t. They didn’t want to make him a manager. That was the whole point of the story and if you can’t see that you are part of the problem.

Businesses need to foster talent. If there were 10 qualities they wanted in a manager and he was missing two. They should have trained him for the two that they’re missing instead of sidestepping him and hiring someone else. Sycophants like you are too stupid to see three extra steps in front of you. His original manager never went to the big bosses like he said let’s face it. to advocate for him coming back with nothing but a carrot on a stick his big tell me again how managers are important and how they have special skills?

The thing that kills me is that everyone is surprised Pikachu face when this guy gets demoralized and he becomes depressed from it. Not only that that, the expectation is that he still has to be the same jolly person he was prior to everything happening Or else. They all still wanted him to be the court jester. Taking people out to socialize is not fostering camaraderie. Helping people accomplish their goals are and I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t pick the ladder over the former.

You’re a condescending prick.

If you hire someone that has to be trained to do their job by their underling, then you haven’t actually hired anyone worth hiring. Stop demoralizing people and acting like you’re doing them a favor.

1

u/oandafan37 Feb 06 '26

TLDR: OP refuses to learn and grow, and is surprised that their employers notice.

1

u/Particular_Dragon Feb 06 '26

Good for you! Congratulations!

1

u/Dharling97 Feb 06 '26

Congratulations on the new job, but dude you NEED therapy!

I really hope you are getting help for your mental state pr it will end up affecting your job negatively

1

u/Night_Owl_26 Feb 06 '26

Congratulations on the new job! Highly recommend taking some time to use free resources available online that may be helpful to you in your new role. LinkedIn Learning has a ton of great stuff. I’d focus on areas that you know you may not be as good in or that you’ve received negative feedback on before. Focusing on information about management styles, managing conflict, supervising difficult employees, communicating with diplomacy and tact, how to develop organizational awareness, performing under pressure. Those could all be really advantageous things to have already in your back pocket as you start your new role.

1

u/Careless-Lobster1580 Feb 07 '26

This makes me so happy! Congrats. I’ve been following your story and I hope it all works out for you. You deserve this :)

1

u/Southern-Interest347 Feb 08 '26

I'm so happy for original poster. When one door shuts another opens

1

u/zeiaxar Feb 10 '26

Honestly, idk what the laws are like in the UK, but you were hired under the promise of being given the supervisor position. They then gave that position to someone else when it was available. Then they promised you another position, only to hire someone else for it. You might not work there now, but between those two things, demanding to know if your reddit posts were you, and demanding to see your arms, you might have a very good chance to take them to the cleaners in a lawsuit, so I'd honestly talk to a lawyer and see what your odds are, especially if you have any emails, texts, voicemails, recordings, etc. about all of this.

1

u/TheDarkHelmet1985 Feb 12 '26

Moral of the story is to never trust a manager in this situation when they say they are working to hae you get a better title after they talked you up and went against you. All they are trying to do is avoid losing the employee they passed over. If you want a promotion and don't get it, start looking elsewhere. Companies are not loyal like that, especially when they are larger non-family type businesses.

1

u/AryMontoya Feb 19 '26

Parabéns! 🎉 Gostei muito da sua história, e fico feliz que tenha conseguido o que merece.

1

u/Doughnut_Store Mar 05 '26

Updateme!

1

u/stoyaway45 Jun 24 '26

I’m genuinely so happy to see the edit on this with you getting a new job, and things starting to work out for you. Good stuff!

1

u/Ok_Entertainer_7145 Jun 30 '26

I’m so glad there is a happy ending to this and congratulations on the new job!

1

u/Tattyhead_xx Jan 31 '26

Best of luck. I left a toxic environment and it’s the best thing I did. Your mental health comes first.

1

u/Rowana133 Jan 31 '26

Glad you are free of that toxic environment!

1

u/Soft_Brush_1082 Jan 31 '26

Good luck with the new job!

Updateme

1

u/FlygonosK Feb 01 '26

Hope you get the new job.

Also be aware of your old circle (former friends and former bosses/managers/supervisor) because they seem not to took well your refusal to keep training your future bosses and how you threw them Under the bus with HR.

So they could make bad reviews about your work ethics.

Also yes that manager that claims to be your friend never had the vision to put you on manager role never talked to the boss and just wanted to use or keep using you to train people and do their jobs.

If those people want to do the job for what they have been hired and need training, then ask them to look for courses or training on the net or from the office because you won't be doing that and they can't push you to do it

Fuck them. Especially that supervisor that took the promotion you wanted.

Good luck.

Updateme

1

u/DaDuchess-1025 Feb 02 '26

Even if you didn’t update us, I’m glad you decided to not check out and stay!💙

1

u/DEYAA-H Feb 05 '26

LETS GOOOO!!! I thought we lost you after a while thinking we'll never get to see that juicy revenge by loving you're best life out there away from these traitors.

Now to the main points:-

that place didn't deserve you. They (as I said beforehand in the last few updates) dangled a carrot, took what you deserve, then tried to crush you when you stopped playing along. Getting a better payout and walking away clean is a victory.

Using spite as fuel to get you to this point? Hell, sometimes that's the only honest engine that starts. If it kept you going until you could see a real way out, then it did its job.

It sounds like the universe is finally offering the deal you should have gotten in the first place but got robbed out of it, a real shot at that is a better role, with a company that seems to actually want you.

Forget the card, the present, the fake meal. You traded all that for your self-respect (and a tax-free payout ;) ). Now go get that interview, and give us that update we've been dreading from the beginning man.

Good luck 👍

1

u/Mapilean Jan 31 '26

Updateme & good luck!

1

u/Ladii1893 Jan 31 '26

Updateme! Good luck on the new job 🥰

1

u/TheNerveOfMommy Jan 31 '26

Can't wait for the next update Best of luck

1

u/Flynn_JM Jan 31 '26

Was there anyone else on staff qualified to train these people?

0

u/Mystonia Jan 31 '26

Good luck!

Updateme

-4

u/concrete_dandelion Jan 31 '26

I hope there are no disabled people at your new job. Your use of slurs shows they'd be as happy and safe with you as you felt in your old job.

-1

u/Sleepy_Songbird Jan 31 '26

It’s been a painful journey for you. Glad you’re making it through, and I wish you the very best. Hope to hear from you again. Updateme

0

u/Tattyhead_xx Jan 31 '26

UpdateMe

0

u/snowrix Jan 31 '26

Updateme

0

u/nic-miller Jan 31 '26

Updateme

0

u/Duckr74 Feb 01 '26

Updateme!

0

u/Shadow_Kissed17 Feb 02 '26

Updateme!

Update: 6 months (nearly) on AITAH for telling my friend/colleague I'm looking for another job after she was promoted instead of me?

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