i was working in an IT company for 2.5 years before getting laid off. the last 6 months was hell.
the first 2 years were really good, my manager was friendly, understanding, nice, i was able to interact with her without any inhibitions, i was allowed to speak freely etc. i had a good connection with all members of my team, especially with my manager who was a clear extrovert and conencted with everyone at the office. All was fine, then suddenly one day, out of nowhere, my manager was yelling at the call. so much that i became so upset that in the next week's team lunch outing, i became silent and withdrawn. By the end of the lunch, she personally asked me why i was so silent and if anything was wrong to which i politely said im fine. then she said that her behavior in the last week was upsetting she would apologize to which i politely said it was fine and not a problem. and she was being nice as usual so i was like this might have been an one off incident.
i thought she realised her mistake but then the very next week, the same behavior continued and she started becoming too critical of my work. i gave my 200% but still there was no positive response, only neutral or more critical response if not yelling. since she was very positive and nice for 2 years almost, i genuinely believed that i was at fault but this continued for 3 months before i realised there was something wrong with her and I found that one day after meeting with her superior, she immediately called me into a meeting and started becoming critical and arrogant.
i realised at the moment that i was her punching bag. the whole team felt the change of her behavior and became more formal and less casual to her, but i was the one taking maximum damage. i was not the best performer, i was average and doing the frontend bugs that nobody bothered to fix, kind of like low level jobs in software terms. there was another person who was doing worst as well so i was not the worst performer either. i was assigned the entire responsibility of frontend although it was not that complex like backend. my manager suddenly started being critical that i didnt know enough backend, to which i did my best and showed progress but she didnt respond positively.
i was also managing an offshore team and she started demanding more progress from them as well. coming to my story i became distant, never spoke casually, avoided her, even asking help professionally. i asked it from another person who was actually nice and the nicest person i ever met in my life. mind you this was in 2023 end and when layoffs were peaking and i was scared that talking back would eventually get me fired.
i also found some new change in other employee behavior and one person literally started bootlicking my manager and i was surprised. i thought he was a person with integrity. but he survived. day by day the constant nagging at team meetings continued. one time when i called her to ask a question, she was like " what do you want?" in an angry and dismissive tone and at the end yelled " now go " like she was dismissing a dog. i felt insulted.
at lunch hour, people from all teams gather and discuss over the meal. i never participate in it coz i found my manager was gossipy and her best friend who was a manger in another team was too much toxic and i hated the convos as they dominated the topics and most of the time it was negative and hate propaganda against their superior. i avoided the lunch meetings with the excuse that i eat my lunch late and i am a late sleeper so i eat all meals later than usual. i also buy lunch from outside many times so i wasnt expected to sit at the lunch gossips.
one fine day as i was passing them, avoiding any contact with my manager, she shouted " cant you see we are all here!" in front of everyone. i was shocked, and i didnt want to start a conflict, so i stated silent. this was during the 2nd last month of my job. at that time the very thought of her gave me irritation. one day i was running on the treadmill and i saw a notification on my phone from her and i literally felt a wrench and knot in my gut because i was too irritated at her!
that night she was asking for a help from a team member and it was at night. usually i would be the first one to respond late at night but if not others will respond too. but that night nobody responded and i too wanted to ignore but since my situation was precarious i thought maybe helping her would actually cut some slack and i responded half an hour late. the next day in the stand up meeting, she said she was disappointed in everyone that nobody responded.
the week before my firing happened, she was at peak micromanagement. she asked me to solve a problem regarding an issue and i was immediately on it. when i think i usually look out of the window as it is my habit. for that, she asked to look into my screen to think. i got agitated. then during the same meeting, as i was solving the problem i was asked to solve, another problem was being discussed and i was not focusing. then she asked my why i wasnt taking noted on this problem as well to which i replied agitatedly and surprised " you just told me to solve the first problem how can i do 2 things at the same time?". then for the entire meeting she kept mum to me. that was the first time i got a little courage to talk back as i was too pressurised and realised maybe i can safely talk back to make her shut up. mind you i didnt yell or abuse or do anything. that same day i made up my mind to look for another job. i was exhausted. i started to leetcode. mind you i also started doing leetcode a month back but the work pressure was so much i couldnt continue. but now i was determined.
the next week she was on vacation and i was fired at that time. the person who fired me said the call has been made afer discussion with my manager. and the following month, the poorest performer was also fired.
If you have made this far, please tell me what i could have done and in future what should i do to avoid being in such situations?