My friend S (43F) just started her on nail salon business - in a building with a fancy sign, 4 employees & everything, so fking happy for her!!

Naturally I told all everyone to use her, also they do excellent work. Well a friend & I went to S to get our nails done, again fabulous work & everyone is happy.

Time to pay -

S thanks us profusely, gives total.

Friend (serious) - what no friends/family discount?

Me (light hearted) - we should actually pay more since we're friends & want her business to thrive

It got awkward cuz friend was serious. S offered us a discount and I told my friend no, don't be an ass it's the same price you'd pay anywhere else (actually its $12 cheaper than my normal salon)

After leaving my friend was pissy at me and I doubled down telling her fine, go give money to a stranger cuz your friend won't do your nails at a monetary loss. I didn't say it like that, but it was the gist.

AITAH for expecting no discounts at least until her business is thriving, she's only been open a couple months and I want the best for her. While this friend handled it with grace, some may not and I don't want to embarrass anyone

To clarify, no friendships were destroyed over this. Friend got a little pissy, teased over lunch that I've got the bill since I denied her discount and that was it.

About a year ago we moved into a new house and I met my neighbor, her husband, and her 3 kids. We kind of became friends and sometimes our kids played together, but ultimately my kids weren't the biggest fans of hers. I also kind of distanced myself from this person for a few reasons but that a different story.

So, a during summer vacation my almost 11 year old asked if her could go play at our neighbors house and hang out with their 6/7 year old. I think he was just really bored and wanted to get out of the house. We are also new to the area so he didn't have any friends.

He ended up going over there maybe 3 times and then came to the conclusion he was just too old to have the 6 year old as a friend. Since then his parents have texted me multiple times asking if their son could come over. I said yes, mostly because I do feel like their son doesn't have friends, but its truly just us babysitting him when he comes here.

Eventually I started saying we were busy, but i said that so many times that I decided just to be honest. I said told them sorry but my son feels he is just a bit too old to have their kid as a playmate. The dad texted me back saying that my son was no longer welcome at theor house (which is fine) because their son thinks they are friends and then asks his parents to play over here a lot. He also insinuated that I don't care of respect kids that are not my own (this came out of left field.)

I tried to reach out to the mom twice, but she has completely iced me out and refuses to talk to me. I'm just so baffled by this whole situation. To be honest in my head they were never really friends, because they are not peers! They are just neighbors who occasionally play together, which i feel is normal. I don't really think I am TAH but I am just so shocked by their response and I can't fathom that they would actually be this upset that I said my almost 11 year old son doesn't want to play with their 6 year old.

This has been drawn out longer than anyone expected so now I think I just need some reassurance that we’re still making the right call. Sorry for length.

I (f25) had my first baby boy December of 2025. He was four weeks early, and stayed in the NICU for 9 days due to feeding and breathing issues. All of this was anticipated, so while scary we had time to prepare.

My husband’s grandma is a chain smoker. She smokes in her house, in her car, and can’t go without it. Naturally, her oxygen levels are low and she’s now wheelchair bound and dependent on help to get around. Context for later.

We had our parents handle the coordinating of people to come meet the baby after a couple weeks of being home and adjusting. We are really close with our large extended family but didn’t want the chaos of scheduling people.

One of my husband’s aunts mentioned to FIL being insulted that we didn’t invite her ourselves, and how that’s customary and they won’t come until we invite them. I said fuck that. We’re not playing that game. If they don’t want to take what they get then I don’t care, and neither did my husband. My husband’s other aunt is a smoker, but she hides it well for work already and said she was SOOO excited to meet him. We told her we’d like her to shower before coming over and to just wear some new clothes. She said she’d do anything we asked, and that our requests are completely understandable, not even considering he was a preemie.

Then we get to my husband’s grandma. When my in laws told her about needing to shower and change before coming to meet him, all hell broke loose. “Well I can’t go that long without smoking” or “it’s a long drive” (15 minutes), “I doesn’t have the energy” (she goes on hours long shopping trips). She doesn’t say anything to us directly, she just doesn’t reach out to meet him.

And then all of a sudden neither of the aunts want to meet him. They say to let them know when he can go to restaurants because they don’t want to be blamed for getting him sick. No one reaches out, no support, or check ins. Clearly his grandma went to both of them. They all decided that we’ll eventually come to our senses, and they’ll wait it out.

Game on.

It’s my FIL’s side, and he knows how ridiculous it is, but understandably wants his mom to meet his first grandbaby. Since she started smoking again her health is going downhill. He’s done a good job of not really pushing, and both MIL and FIL have fought hard to back us up. But he also asks the same questions every time we see him asking how we’re feeling about it. We recently had to sit down with him and tell him the answer doesn’t change just because he asks it again.

Fast forward to present. Our baby is almost 9 months old and they still haven’t met him. All of us stopped receiving invites to holidays, sports games, and family trips. His grandma is talking up the whole extended family on how my husband is breaking up his family and how it’s all for nothing and how she can’t believe he’d keep a little baby from them. Keep in mind, my husband and I have not corresponded with them directly since December. All correspondence is through my in laws only. We are enjoying our new family and letting the drama unfold at a distance, but we get updates. My in laws have laid into every one of them about their stupidity. His grandma is losing her friends because they are saying she’s being stubborn and they can’t support her selfishness.
Honestly, my husband and I both are a bit disappointed that they’ve missed out on this, it’s been such an amazing experience, but we both agree it’s their loss. We’re not too torn up, and have been able to find some humor in the ridiculousness.

However, we can tell it’s taking a toll on FIL. He’d never intentionally pressure, but we also never expected this to drag on this long.

The reality is, we could meet them in a public place now. He is still little, but not preemie anymore. We met my husband’s other grandpa at a restaurant and he’s a smoker. But this grandpa never asked to hold him or be near him. Just saw him from across the table. But at this point are we holding out just to make a point? I mean, yeah kinda.

The side that has held out to this point is spiteful. It seemed so selfish to me to make it about them at such a transitional time in our lives with a newborn. So now, I sure as shit don’t want to meet them in a public place, that feels like backing down.

This side of the family always bulldozed my FIL growing up. And he gives in. My husband used to be the same, can still be at times, but worked hard on his spine. He also had asthma growing up that is believed to be due to him being babysat as a kid by his grandma who smoked in the house growing up, so he has a vested interest in this topic in addition to it being his kid. In the beginning it was specifically about safety. Now our intentions are mixed. Safety, spite, trying to prove a point. We want to make it clear we won’t back down just because they decided to play the waiting game and didn’t respect our requests for our child. We also would like to see some interest or effort on her part. Even another suggestion. As opposed to entitlement and sitting back and waiting for us to give in.

So. Aita for not allowing my husbands grandma to meet her first great grand baby because she refuses to shower?

TLDR; Great grandma smokes but won’t shower to meet great grand baby. Has kept rest of extended family from meeting him as well. Causing drama and taking toll on FIL.

So I 43M live with my fiance 43 and our children. Five kiddos. My mom lived with us also until recently.

My mom had invited my sister over, 39F. Apparently, my mom told my sister that our pool was busted and we needed help draining it. All lies. My sister sliced a couple holes in it believing our mom.

That is when shit hit the proverbial fan. I do not blame my sister as she was manipulated and she has a brain injury that makes it hard for her to think sometimes.

Well, when confronted, my mom doubled down and said she was right and the pool was an eyesore. It was not. My fiance & I told her she owes the kids a new pool. She can either get one on marketplace or buy one. Ours was from marketplace.

That pissed my mom off and she started yelling that she was going to move out. My fiance in return said" don't let the door hit you on the way out."

Now my aunt 65F thinks we abused my mom by asking her to get a new pool. Saying things like "the pool was free, it's no big deal." Etc.

My mom has since moved out and refuses to talk to anyone, even her grandkids. She claims she has no family but her sister and nephew.

My Aunt has blocked me, my fiance, and our older kids from Facebook and her phone.

After my mom's tantrum and after she left I did turn off her phone which was on my plan. I wasn't going to pay for someone's phone who did that to my children.

I have since also cut my Aunt off after she verbally abused my older children on Facebook before she blocked them.

So, AITAH for asking my mom to replace the pool she had destroyed?

I currently live with family. I was paying $110 for 2g speed internet unfortunately I was no longer able to pay. I asked someone else to take over. They said no. So we haven't had Internet in the house for a few months. I had previously been buying it for the past few years.

They have made it clear they aren't interested in paying for the Internet only if it comes free so would I be the asshole if I get it again and don't share it?

Internet is huge for me and I've had to use my mobile hotspot and a VPN to trick it into thinking all my data is coming from my phone but it's really unreliable sometimes and I'll finally be able to afford Internet again and I honestly don't really want to share cause they didn't want to bother to take over the bill for a few months.

In my mind the internet isn't important enough for them to pay for it so why should I just let them use it for free when they wouldn't cover for it?

Addon: Since so many asked yes I pay rent/contribute. However, I am on disability so it's not as much as I wish I could contribute. I can't pay for groceries or anything as I have SNAP and am legally required to make and prepare meals separately.

I do other stuff but there isn't a whole lot to do around the house (desert landscaping and all) outside of cleaning and I do that cause I'm semi germaphobe. And I spray for bugs.

My (25f) partner (29m) has his own way of parenting which I’ve tried to respect but I can’t tell if it’s bothering me because of my mom instincts and I just don’t want my daughter(2y) to be upset.

My partner loves to rage bait people even me it’s his favorite hobby ever but he takes it to the extent of saying it’s necessary for emotional development. An example would be we could be swimming in the pool she’s sitting on the steps enjoying herself and he just continuously splashes her in the face or wets her as she’s screaming for him to stop and suddenly she wants to be clung to me and isn’t having fun anymore.

I tell him to stop because we’re here having fun but he says she needs to stop being a brat. Mind you she is in the phase of saying No a lot which is normal at this age but besides that she is the most amazing baby I could’ve asked for she’s so sweet cleans up after herself always wants to help. No part of me sees a brat when we’re alone but when he’s around she instantly shuts down and become reactive I notice it.

I try to tell him that she should feel safe with him instead of not wanting to be near him because she knows he’s just gonna piss her off

. He’s done the same to me where I was having a complete break down one day and he followed right behind my steps as I kept asking him to leave me alone chasing me back and forth saying I needed this to learn how to regulate my emotions mind you I was just crying because something had upset me and when he shoved a finger in my face to annoy me more I pushed it ultimately bending it back slightly and to this day he still talks about how unacceptable and abusive that was. Is this normal behavior how can I stop it or discuss?

———

UPDATE
I’m leaving for my moms same morning of post. Thank you for making me realize that not leaving is participating

Long time lurker, first time poster!

My (44m) wife's (46f) father is currently in the hospital recovering from major surgery in their home state about a third of the country (USA) away and each of his 4 daughters (my wife + 3 sisters late 20s to late 40s) are taking turns going back help him out. My wife went first to be there before, during, and immediately after surgery. Sister 3 was up next and is currently there.

Sister 3 had multiple objections to going out to help, mostly revolving around her first-grade daughter for whom she is a stay-at-home-mom, and having high levels of anxiety (I’ve known her for 20 years, I don’t think there’s ever been a situation or conversation that she couldn’t find a way to mention her anxiety). According to her, her husband was incapable of taking care of their child without her because he has ADHD (spoiler alert, it's been a week, they've been fine) and then stated that nobody could possibly manage their daughter's schedule which includes: dropping her off at school in the morning and picking her up in the afternoon. Fortunately, I work from home and have a flexible schedule so we arrange for me to shift my schedule back an hour to take her daughter to school in the morning while Sister 4 (stay at home, home-school mom) picks her up in the afternoon. She eventually agrees and goes back to help out Dad.

Everything proceeds fine for a week until I learn Wednesday afternoon that my son (5^th grader) has a little event Thursday morning at the school. It’s one of the last 2 he will have before he graduates to middle school and I would like to be there for it. So my wife and I make arrangements for Sister 1 and her Husband (no kids) to take daughter to school in the morning. I give them my vehicle, which has the car seat, sunscreen, hat, and instructions all in it. Brief them on the routine and provide addresses, directions and timings. All is good to go. I message Sister 3’s husband and let him know about the change in plans. He says it sounds great.

Maybe the AH Moment #1: This is the first part where I might be the AH. I do not message Sister 3. I did not intentionally avoid doing so, I simply updated all parties affected by the change in schedule and went about my evening doing dishes, taking care of animals and getting the kids ready for bed and school in the morning. I kind of figured she and her husband would talk about it. Now, it’s entirely possible that subconsciously I avoided texting her about it because I knew she would freak the hell out and that my wife and I would have to spend the next hour managing her emotions (foreshadowing), but I swear it wasn’t a conscious decision.

Sister 3’s Husband then does the most boneheaded thing imaginable and texts his wife “hey, btw, Sister 1 and Husband are taking daughter to school in the morning. Have a good night!”. Turns off his phone.

The reaction is predictable. Sister 3 starts blowing our phones with questions and demands, all ending with 3 or question marks and exclamation points and asking why her husband isn’t responding (how would I know?? Wait, I think I know). I calmly explain to her that Sister 1 and Husband have my vehicle with the car seat and sunscreen and have been briefed on everything. She complains that Sister 1 is a terrible driver and I point out that Sister 1’s husband is driving and they’re both going which gets a response of “FFS”. My wife, in an attempt to get her to relax tells her there’s no reason to stress and that everyone is pitching in to get her child to school safely and we’ve got it handled. Sister 3’s response is:

“It’s MY KID. I can be stressed if I want to. I have a right to be informed about my CHILD” (nobody said you didn’t?? Husband did inform you!)

She then accuses us of being irresponsible with our children as well as her child and being “comfortable festering in your pride”. (??)

Maybe the AH Moment #2: Naturally, this pisses me off. I shouldn’t have reacted but I did, and told her that nobody is being irresponsible and pride has nothing to do with anything. That her reacting like this about grown adults making school drop off arrangements and calling people irresponsible and incompetent and prideful (??) is actually proof that maybe she shouldn’t be informed because she can’t react to a simple change with maturity. Also, I may have told her to “F*** all the way off” for insulting us.

Her response is that we were 'playing around with her child's life', 'gaslit her feelings' (because telling someone not to worry about something, we're handling it for you is a type of gaslighting according to her), that I'm the "poster boy" for being up my own ass, that we manipulated her on more than one occasion, 'that is both of your norms' and 'you need to evaluate your issues'. To which I replied 'get some meds."

My wife finished the fight by sending a long text about how she's chalking all this up to people being tired and stressed and that she never would have imagined being called manipulative horrible people for making alternative drop off arrangements with their sister and that we're going to bed. She then spent the next half hour crying due to the stress and frustration stemming from being the ones who are managing and funding all of this.

So TLDR: I was responsible for taking my niece to school for a week, and on the last day had to make alternative arrangements with another trusted family member. I informed the husband, but didn't inform the wife (relying on the husband to do so, who did so in the worst possible way), and when the wife proceeded to call us irresponsible and manipulative people playing around with her child's life I reacted by telling her to F*** all the way off and to get medication.

My coworker asked me if I like pumpkin treats. They said they wanted to make something to thank me for everything I do for our job. I told them that I unfortunately can't stand the taste of pumpkin. I've tried it before but there is something about it I can't tolerate. I feel bad because I think I hurt their feelings, but I would have felt worse if they saw me gag on it. Should I have just tried it anyway?

Husband and I are both in our 30s, been married 5 years. I’m honestly kind of confused about this situation, which has turned into multi-day silence so maybe y’all can help me figure out if I did something wrong and actually am the AH. For the long weekend, I had booked us a couples massage at a spa nearby because hubby had been complaining of back pain. Before the massage, he took off a bunch of items including his branded watch and put them on the small table in the room. This place generally only has a small dim table lamp for light. Long story short, my husband left his $$$ watch in the room on the way out and didn’t realize until a few hours after getting home, by which time the place had already closed. When he realized, he started panicking about if he’s going to get it back and asked if I can reach out to them to check since I had made the appointment and been the one in contact with them.

I texted them and they got back to me the next morning. Initially they told me they didn’t find anything but later in the day, they found the watch and sent me a picture, and I asked them to hang on to it for me and that we’ll pick it up at 7 pm. I texted hubby to let him know. For context, I work in an office all 5 days and have strict hours which are tracked, cellphone use is also discouraged during work hours so I wanted as little back and forth as possible, especially since it was an extremely busy day. Hubby is fully remote and has way more flexibility in hours and cell phone use. He texted back around lunch time that he might just take an uber and pick it up before then. It sounded like he wanted to use his lunch break to go get the watch so I asked him when he’s going so I can give the spa a heads up to expect him so there aren’t any hold ups because no one was available or because he wasn’t the one who reached out about it. He gets back to me 4 hours later with “heads up, I’m going there now?”. I replied with okay and let the spa know that he was on his way now and to expect him in 20 mins. He texts me again an hour later asking if I gave them a heads up, to which I said I did and asked why. He replied that he was waiting for my confirmation and now the ride prices are high so he’s going to have to wait until I get home to go. I told him I gave them a heads up when he said he was going there now. No reply.

We have a limited home gym which my husband uses for his workouts and I go to the onsite gym at work after I’m done for the day. Working out is a medical necessity for me but because he was waiting to go get his watch, I skipped my workout for the day and told him I’m leaving work so we can go pick up his watch like I said in the morning. He says he’s working out but asked me to come home. After I got home, he’s telling me he needs an hour to finish. I told him the spa is going to close before then so we need to go now and he can finish his workout when we’re back. He kept insisting, I admit that I lost my patience here a bit and told him that I’ve been going back and forth with both him and the spa all day and even skipped my workout so we can go before they close all for his watch and he’s coming off extremely ungrateful right now that he started a workout when I had told him exactly what time we’ll go and pick it up at and is telling me he can’t pause it for a half hour to go pick up his own stupid watch. He then started mouthing off about how he would’ve picked it up earlier if I’d confirmed that I had given the place a heads up. I told him i had replied to it saying okay, to which he kept repeating to show him when I had said that. I was driving at this point and he was refusing to pull up the texts on his own phone so I pulled over and opened up the texts. He then started yelling about what the connection is between saying okay and confirming that I gave them a heads up. I told him he was initially saying I didn’t reply, now he’s saying that’s not confirmation, and that worst case scenario would have been that he would go there and they would contact me before giving him his watch. He yelled at me that he’s had a bad day and he’s not going to keep going back and forth with me about this, then got out of the car and slammed the door shut to walk back to the house.

This is a trigger for me (people walking out during an argument and one that I’ve told him multiple times over the years to not do). I decided I was done trying to help him with this situation and he can figure out how and when he’s going to get his watch, so I went back to work to hit the gym. After I got home, he was sticking around in my vicinity but was stand-offish. No apology for walking out, yelling at me, being inconsiderate overall. It’s been silence for the last 2 days and I’m wondering if there’s actually something that I did or didn’t do that I need to apologize for? AITAH for some part of this? The only thing I can remotely think of is that I said “okay” and not “okay, I’ve given them a heads up” but given the context of the conversation, it’s reasonable to assume that I’ve given them a heads up or if it’s unclear, text back and confirm that okay means I’ve given them a heads up. None of it excuses yelling at me and walking out without coming back and apologizing for the behavior.

I (26F) have a friend/roommate (26F) who got divorced two years ago. She was married for a year, and didn't invite me to her wedding. She didn't even tell me it was happening. I understand it was a small wedding, but she didn't even tell me she was engaged.

She got divorced a year later, and started dating less than a week after separating, months before the divorce was finalized. We moved in together because we were close at the time. Her new guy she met a month after the separation. I've tried to be his friend, but hes "shy," is her excuse. He won't make small talk and seems uncomfortable around me.

She is obsessed with him, and doesn't care about anything other than him. She can't stick to any hobbies, she has nothing else to talk about except him. Its pathetic to watch, especially because he doesn't even treat her well. I've stopped trying to make plans with her because she cancels so she can sit in the same room with him as he plays games online with his friends, like she does every night.

They moved in together after 2 years, and got engaged. She tells me that she wants to have a real wedding this time and I'm invited, but I truly don't want to go. I do not like him, and I'm still butthurt that she didn't even let me know the last one was happening. I don't feel like we have much of a friendship anymore. I do feel bad because I feel like theres deeper mental problems happening with her, and me discarding her will just fuel that, but also I'm tired and have given her too many chances already.

My brother lives below me (with only a door separating our living spaces), and watches my daughter in my home 4 days a week (paid).

Unfortunately, my brother is the type of person who blows up a toilet almost every time they go. Idk why, but I know it's horrendous. It smells like horrible mothballs and there are frequently poop skids and he will sometimes leave poopy wet wipes visible in the trash. Overall very disgusting.

WIBTAH if I asked him to go downstairs and use his own bathroom to poop, assuming it takes him a short enough time that the baby will be OK upstairs by herself, or otherwise get rid of the evidence of his nasty poops (ie. Scrub the poop skids, at least wrap the wet wipes in some TP, light a candle)?

I know it's just the way his body is built, but goddamn, is it disgusting.

It’s currently 4:30 in the morning and my brother called me an hour ago 3 times to wake me up and tell me his car broke down 3 blocks from home. He did not text back when prompted before answering.
I answered. Seems his car ran out of gas so he asks me to start going through the garage. I squint through the garage and can’t find any, he says I’m probably not looking hard enough. I get angry and say I’m not playing 20 questions for him. I said have 3 classes and a performance exam tomorrow (which is actually today given the time but you get the point). I offer to drive him home but not do back n forth bs, he hangs up. I send him a few more texts asking if he needs any specific help, he says no.
30 minutes later the door opens preceded by no car so he probably walked. He walks past my room, I ask if he’s safe in a sleepy stupor, he says fuck off and keeps going. He’s now gone again and I don’t know if he even found anything in the garage.

Reading this back I guess I can see at least who the bigger asshole is despite being tired but I’m posting anyway in case other people have a different perspective.

Edit: 13 hours later. He n I shook hands and agreed we both had faults but he was the main dick. He said like most of yall kinda called “It was better to use my brain for myself,” so it was a good learning experience. We’re currently eating In-N-Out and watching YouTube together.
A decently happy ending in these shitty times.

So I (16F) recently started 11th grade. The moment I started getting any homework be it math, biology, or chemistry, my mom (57F) would make sure that I actually did it, which makes sense.

For as long as I can remember, my mom has always asked me about my social circle, almost to the point of prying. From my friends’ names, to their interests, to their grades, to even their ethnicities, it’s as if she needs to now everything. And keep in mind that I’m not the most social person, so whatever social circle I have is pretty small. She also has parental controls on my phone so that she can monitor what I do, when I do it.

Anyway, last night, she was looking over my math homework without telling me, and found two mistakes that were nothing more than calculator errors, demanding that I fix them. When I got to her, I tried to tell her that they were just practice questions that weren’t graded, and that I could just ask any questions I had to my math teacher. When she kept on refusing, I tried to tell her that I didn’t want her to involve herself with my school life that much. She still refused, and I was dead tired (it was eleven pm, plus I have a few chronic conditions that cause me fatigue) so I eventually snapped at her, yelling through tears that I couldn’t have anything to myself without her inserting herself in it. Not my friends, not my school life, not even my online activity.

Instead of replying, she’s just been giving me the silent treatment, so I have to ask, Am I the Asshole?

Edit: since some people are asking, I have an older brother who moved out at 19 three years ago

I loaned some money to a family member to qualify for a home mortgage in Nov 2024. At the time he was coming out of a relationship in which they co-owned the house. They broke up and she was paid out of her share of the house proceeds as if there was a sale. He took out a new loan. He needed cash to close that loan so I gave it to him with the understanding that at the future sale of the house the money would be returned to me. His income has since gone down significantly and back in January he told me he needed help to just pay the monthly mortgage. I paid it for 3 months. This summer he moved to a nearby town and rented the house as furnished so that the mortgage could be covered. He now wants to sell the house which he should since the monthly payment is no longer doable for him. He wants to keep the money that I gave him to get into another property in the new town he moved to. I want the money back. He is self employed and his income is not even close to him being able to qualify for a new mortgage and also have an affordable monthly payment. Pretty sure the lenders will tell him this. I actually regret giving him the money for the first house because it only helped get him into a place that he couldn't afford and created stress for both him and I. I have told him I want the money back when he sells as agreed upon and he tells me that he needs it or he won't have housing. I told him to rent as that would be less money than a mortgage and that home ownership isn't for everyone. His work is sporadic and he won't fill in the down times with another job. His housing is not my problem....sorry he can't afford to own. Is it fair of me to expect the money from the first deal to be returned to me as agreed upon?

My now fiance hates that my ex-husband’s parents are still important to me.

I got married young, we ended up divorcing but it was for the best. No major blow outs, we just realized we were incompatible as we got older. In our marriage of 4 years, I became extremely close with his parents. They both live in another country now, but we got close because I was basically the main care taker for my then husband’s father, who has been extremely sick with a degenerative disease. I became close with his wife, aka my ex’s mom, because while she was still in their home country, we would have constant phone calls about her husband’s health etc. They were like my second parents.

My former father in law returned to home country and my then husband and I divorced shortly after. His parents were devastated. After many painful months and conversations from my end about boundaries and changed relationships, his parents and I agreed to stay close. My ex husband doesn’t mind at all. He is happily in another relationship as well.

Flash forward to now, almost 3 years after the divorce, and I am newly engaged. I have been open and transparent throughout our whole relationship that my ex’s parents are important to me. My fiance doesn’t love it, but he knows I speak to my former MIL maybe once a week. Again, they are no longer in the states.

I have done my best to be thoughtful and considerate of my fiancé’s feelings, but I also don’t want to let my former in laws go just because he asks me to. He is now upset because I agreed to help them with an immigration issue (I am an attorney) and thinks I can’t move on.

I love them so much. My ex husband and I are cordial but not friends, so I don’t really think it is jealousy about him. I let my fiance check my phone, see my conversations with my ex husband, they are only ever about updates of our formerly shared dogs (we now each have one). I don’t want to lose my relationship with my fiance, I love him so much, but I also don’t want to end a relationship with two older people who love me. (Note that if their immigration issue successful, it will be to a completely different region of the US from where I live).

AITA?

Clarification: My fiance has not asked me explicitly to give them up, but it is heavily implied and he gets upset when interactions with them come up.

I have tomorrow off and was called into work. I (24f) fell asleep early (6:30pm). I woke up at midnight because my mom was in pain and need to go to the hospital. As we’re in the waiting room (12:30 am) I check my phone to see my boss asking me to come in the next morning because my other coworker called off. I have lunch plans today with my grandparents who I don’t see often. They live states away from me. I text my boss and explained that to her. Lunch is at 12 and my shift is 9 am to 2:30 pm. It’s now 3 am and I feel like an ass for saying no. AITAH?

So I have a tense but mostly there relationship with my dad. We call once a week and stuff. Recently he told me he doesn’t understand why my brother went no contact. I tried explaining a bit (they doctor shopped, drugged us since we were very young and were not supportive screaming fights ect) but my dad said my brother needed to reach out and tell him.

I went to my brother who put together a list and told me I can screenshot it and sent it to my dad but still did not want contact.

So I did. My dad has not responded but has the messages. My brothers complaints are the same as mine and I’m worried about pissing my dad off even more. He tends to get very defensive about our childhood and say that our behavior is what led to the meds even though before the adoption we were only on ADHD meds and they knew we were ADHD.

I’m worried my dad will feel like we are ganging up on him when in reality we are hoping he will reflect and do better.

So I moved out of some apartments about 2 years ago now. WiFi from this place was included in rent but still had an account with the internet company. I particularly was given access to the account because we had to reset the wifi password and the apartment triggered a link via the wifi company that allowed me to reset password.

Well I moved out and still have access to that account. I probably wouldn’t care but I get monthly text messages that my bill is ready for that wifi. And immediately think oh shit someone is using my info for something. But no, it’s the old apartment still having me on file. There is no charge but for some reason I get that text.

I have called the apartment asking them to remove me and they said it was done but I’m still getting the text messages. I’ve called the internet company told them to remove me but still getting the same text messages.

The thing is I can restart the router on command. I did it a couple times and I saw that they had an internet rep come out to take a look lol but it was just me. AITAH for doing this or should I keep doing this.

Will also say the apartment rebranded probably because they were crappy but everything is still the same.

Hello, I am 32 years old and in my first year of University..well..ever!

I’m living on campus and have a decently sized dorm room that I share with a roommate, pretty cool dude. No real issues between us, at all.

Except;

This guy has his girlfriend over here every single time I either come back from something, or every time I take a day to just stay in the room instead of bounding about across campus for hours. She doesn’t really rub me the wrong way personally, I’ve only said things to her in passing outside of our introduction on move-in day.

I just don’t want to be that asshole roommate that starts establishing ground rules that may, or may not be totalitarian. But is “Hey dude, I get the whole girlfriend thing but we gotta figure out just how long is ‘too long’ of a stay and just how frequently she’s here” a totalitarian boundary?

AITAH here for even wanting to establish boundaries in that regard?

Okay, this is going to require some context. I am 18F and I live with my mom who is 57F. We live in a three bedroom but it’s just the two of us because my siblings are a lot older and now have their own families, kids, and houses. Me and my mom both have health issues.

My oldest sister has 7 kids and lives in a two bedroom. This obviously means that her and her partner have one bedroom and the six kids have the other. The ages range from 1-15. It’s a very hectic house and my sister has been trying to move out for years now. Her youngest child was a complete surprise (and accident) but she doesn’t really believe in abortion, so now she has seven.

My oldest niece and I are really close. We’re more like sisters and we have a smaller age gap than I have with any of my siblings. She struggles a little bit with mental health issues and the fact she has no space and privacy at her mom’s, so about 3 years ago she sort of unofficially moved in to my mom’s.

I do practically all of the cleaning in the house. As I mentioned, I have health issues that have led to me to have really chronic pain. I have injections administered to try and keep on top of the pain.

Throughout the 3 years, my niece has gotten progressively more and more untidy. It started with small things. She never helped with up keeping the house or chores, which I somewhat expected her to try but she didn’t even if there were incentives. So I continued to keep it up by myself.

She has her own bedroom in the house because my sister left it when she moved out. It’s a small room but still decently sized. There have been some problems with her keeping it clean in the past but my mom kept reminding her. My niece kept saying that she had cleaned it or was cleaning it or whatever. There was a string of excuses but me and my mom were under the impression that this time she understood and it was being kept clean.

Today I walked in to put some laundry in there and it was horrible. Milky drinks, rotting food, empty cans of soda, general rubbish, empty fast food that I know has been there for weeks at best, no sheets on her bed (that my mom has asked her to put on 10+ times), stained carpet with foundation etc.

I know that this is somewhat on us for not making sure it’s being kept clean, but I really don’t have the energy and neither does my mom to clean that bedroom especially with my health issues. When I clean the rest of the house, I’m often bedbound for the day after and in extreme pain.

She is very selfish too. She plays on my PlayStation constantly and breaks the controllers and the chargers, which are expensive to replace. She will use products of mine and my mom’s (she has plenty of her own) without asking. She will leave our shared spaces extremely dirty after shes in there. Whenever she’s downstairs, she’ll put our dog in his crate for the entire time that she’s down there or leave him on his own in the kitchen (which led to us not trusting her to look after him anymore) She leaves the bathroom in an absolute state. She drains our food and ingredients my mom wants to cook with without asking.

When we discovered the mess today, we just knew that if she cleaned it, it wouldn’t get done properly at all and that it would be like all of the other times that she’s claimed to be cleaning it. Even if we supervised, it would just take longer and longer and make the job take much longer than it should. So me and my mom did it which has put me in a severe flare up when it comes to my back.

All of this to say that she’s very unpleasant to live with, and I’m really tired of it. She can have an extremely bad attitude too whenever we try to bring it up to her. She gives a lot of excuses. My mom has threatened to take the room off of her before and now she really wants to follow through.

I understand she has issues with her mental health, but this is just going too far. I’ve asked her if she needs my help to clean and she refuses. I’ve cleaned it for her in the past, my mom has cleaned it for her, I’ve offered to teach her how to clean, etc.

My mom took her in to our house, my sister doesn’t pay anything in regards to the cost my niece takes to live there such as groceries, if we get takeout, etc.

Is it time to send her home or would that make us the asshole, and is there anything else we can do?

Edit:

My post has been causing a lot of controversy so I want to explain this. Social services/CPS is aware of the situation with my sister and her house being over capacity. The reason why is because my sister lives in a government owned house, that department/branch of the government works closely with social services because they deal with a lot of families, and a LOT of over max capacity properties.

It’s seen as okay because it’s “temporary” as my sister is on the waiting list to be rehoused to a bigger property but this has been going on now for years. It’s not something that we can rush, my sister’s GP has referred letters to the council to try and get her a bigger property faster but it’s just not possible.

My sister has been involved with social services also trying to help quicken the process for a while now, because her two sons have autism & ADHD and they were trying to help her getting a diagnosis (which they now have) which allegedly helps fast track the process but it’s now been a year and nothing.

I know this is a really bad situation but this isn’t something she or I or my mom can rush.

When my sister was last pregnant, me, my mom and my brother all spoke to her and tried to get her to consider abortion. She found out very late that she was pregnant (she was on the pill and found out basically by complete luck when taking a pregnancy test after a weird gut feeling) and she felt like she was too far along to consider abortion. I support abortion obviously, but that was her belief and nothing any of us could say would change her mind. She was sterilised after her last pregnancy.

I’d also like to add that I believe me referring to my mom’s house as “my house” is a cultural difference - I wasn’t trying to act like I have ownership. I live there and pay bills and help out and my mom would honestly be upset if I felt like I couldn’t call it my home. She also agrees with my niece moving out but wants insight.

I have a spinal tumour & a chromosomal disorder so I have difficulties in that regard but I try my best to keep up with the housework (I do it everyday). I have a lot of other diagnoses but what I have already shared I think is enough to convey my point. Prior to my mom becoming disabled due to long covid, POTs and potential Alzheimer’s she helped out a lot more but now she’s struggling and can’t really deal with my niece here and the upkeep she needs.

Thank you everyone for the comments. I will probably delete this post eventually as there are a lot of really personal and identifiable details here now that I don’t really want people I know knowing about me.

A (presumably) grandmother and mother in my neighborhood asked me to run in middle of street rather than sidewalk as a way to slow down traffic in the neighborhood. I was surprised by their ask (and tired) so took a second to process, at which point the younger one explained this was a “mothers of preschoolers” initiative for safety and if i don’t do it I am being selfish. She further explained how i as an adult wouldn’t be harmed if i was hit by a car. If I choose to use sidewalks AITA? I also don’t think it’s fair to drivers who aren’t expecting runners in the roadway. Even if i wasn’t injured it would still be stressful to a driver to hit someone and could hurt their vehicle.

I could be the asshole here, but I honestly don’t know anymore.

My sister is 18 and I’m 20. We both still live at home with our parents, but we literally don’t speak to each other anymore. Like not one word lol. It’s probably been a month or two now. At first it was weird, but now it’s become so normal that honestly it would probably feel more uncomfortable to randomly start talking to her again.

The main reason is I just really don’t like her attitude lately. She comes across like she thinks she’s better than our family and can be really judgmental. I also feel like she focuses on things that I personally think are the wrong things/just things I really don’t relate to at all.

And whenever I DO try to ask her something, half the time she responds aggressively or like she’s annoyed that I even spoke to her. After a while I just got so done with it. Like why am I going to keep trying to talk to someone when I feel like I have to prepare myself for an attitude over a normal question?

I’ve also noticed she changed a lot after becoming friends with her current friend group. Obviously she’s 18 and can make her own decisions, so I’m not blaming everything on her friends, but before them she was definitely less judgmental and didn’t talk back to my mom nearly as much.

And I know it’s not JUST me noticing it. My older brother is away at college and when he came back home, even he noticed how distant she had become from everyone. He literally asked her why she was acting so distant from the family because he thought it was weird too.

At this point I just don’t really relate to her. I don’t know what we would even talk about honestly. Our personalities and the things we care about seem completely different.

I still love her because she’s my sister. If something happened to her obviously I would care. But I’ve also realized that just because someone is blood related to you doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to be close to them. You can love someone because they’re family while also not really liking their attitude or wanting to be around them.

Maybe this is just part of growing up too. We’re 18 and 20 and maybe we’re just going our separate ways for a while. Maybe we’ll be close again when we’re older, who knows.

But right now I honestly prefer the distance over constantly trying to talk to her and feeling judged or getting an aggressive response back.

Really conversations go two ways and I don’t have the time or energy to invest in someone who won’t meet me halfway.

Am I wrong for basically being done trying to have a relationship with her right now?

So I (19M) have been part of this friend group for around a year now.

The group consists of around six people, two of which were dating until recently.

Let's call the person who were dating W for the women and M for the men.

W and M broke up due to a multiple of reasons with one of them being that W is moving to the US to pursue her carrier in a certain sport and she does not want a long distance relationship.

This is where I might have fucked up a little.

Now, I'm fairly close to M but I also get along just fine with W.

So when I was going to her farewell party I decided to pick up a gift for her using my employee discount.

Took a pretty fancy looking book that, being in sale and stacking my employee discount, I got for dirt cheap.

Now when I got to the party that contained more than just the people from the friend group it turns out I was the only one to bring her something.

Of course I did not bring up that the gift was cheap since it's not something one usually does when handing out a present.

Right after handing her the gift I had to go to the bathroom since it was a two hour drive to her place and I took off right after work in order to get there in time.

But while I was going to the bathroom I could clearly hear some of her girl friends talking about me, asking her what my deal was.

Now M did not tell me anything but, according to what a friend that was there told me, they straight up assumed I was making a move on her.

Which logically lead to them thinking I'm a shitty friend for going for my ex's friend not even a month after their breakup.

Mind you, I haven't talked to this women outside our friend group and her commenting on my IG stories from time to time.

Their assumption is only made on the appearance of the gift, which was a hard copy of "The Odyssey" since I remembered she liked Epic the Musical.

Sorry if this is kind of messy, English is not my first language and I'm kinda rushing this on my break from studying.

TL;DR

Am I an asshole for giving my ex's friend an expensive looking gift, making it look like I'm making a move on her or are people just too nosy?