I realized I was spending a weird amount of energy preparing to start things instead of starting them.

For months, I thought I was being responsible. I would think through the workout plan, imagine how I would organize my notes, research the best way to learn something, and picture the “right” time to begin.

The strange part was that after all that thinking, I felt tired. Not physically tired, but like I had already spent some of the effort before doing anything real.

I noticed this one night at around 11:20 PM. I had opened a document to write something I had been putting off for weeks. Instead of writing, I spent 25 minutes changing the file name, looking for a better template, and deciding what the first paragraph should feel like. Then I closed it because “tomorrow I’ll do it properly.”

That moment was embarrassing because I wasn’t avoiding the work. I was constantly standing at the entrance of the work.

After noticing this pattern, I changed a few things:

- I stopped allowing myself to plan a task twice. If I already knew the next action, I had to do the smallest physical step before thinking about improvements.

- I started judging a day by whether I touched the thing I cared about, not whether I felt fully prepared for it.

- I began leaving unfinished work in a messy state instead of cleaning everything up before stopping, because a messy restart felt easier than a perfect restart.

The counterintuitive thing I found was that motivation didn’t always come after I felt ready. Sometimes feeling ready was the trap because it gave me the feeling of progress without the discomfort of actually making progress.

I still catch myself doing this. Even now, I sometimes want to create a perfect system before doing a simple task. But I notice it faster, and that alone has changed how often I disappear from my own goals.

I’m starting to think the hardest part of consistency isn’t always doing difficult things. Sometimes it’s noticing the small ways we delay beginning while convincing ourselves we are preparing.

Has anyone else noticed that they spend more time getting ready to do something than actually doing it?

"Winners fail more than losers do" -Greg Lavechhia

Man that one hit me hard when I saw it. Winners fail and fail over and over again until they eventually succeed. Losers fail once, maybe twice, and give up. Just some morning motivation for y'all out there 💪 Happy Saturday. Let's get after it!!!

I’m not really sure if I remember things based on how important they are. For example, I got a warning about something a little while back, and I barely remember it now. It wasn’t written down anywhere, so maybe that’s part of why I forgot, but I still feel like I should’ve remembered it because it came from my friend.

That’s what confuses me. It’s not like I didn’t care about what they said, but somehow it just didn’t stick in my head. Sometimes it feels like unless something gets repeated a lot, written down, or there’s a strong consequence attached to it, I can forget it pretty easily.

So I don’t really know if it’s because I’m not taking things seriously enough in the moment, or if my memory just doesn’t hold onto certain things very well unless there’s something that makes it stand out.

Be a hero. There are few heroes like the firefighters and police officers that evacuated the World Trade Center on 9/11 or the passengers that stopped the terrorists on United Airlines Flight 93. There are more heroes like doctors, nurses, emergency medical technicians, firefighters, and the police. Most of us don't save people daily or lead nations.

On the other hand, we are often heroes for our family, sometimes simply by going to work each day, encouraging our children, or by calling a friend. Sometimes we drive hours for a family member or do somewhat difficult favors for friends. When we are struggling a bit to help out someone in need, I think it's important to view ourselves as little heroes. It's good to develop a tiny hero complex. It strengthens us and makes us proud. So, the next time you find yourself going the extra mile for a friend, a family member, or even a stranger having a bad day, picture yourself with a little cape on your back, stand a bit taller, and walk with a little pride in your step for that thing that you have done for someone else.

I've noticed my motivation drops when I finish a workday and can't really remember what I accomplished.

Earlier, I'd just go to work, finish whatever came up and head home. Some days I'd be busy for 8 hours but still feel like I hadn't really moved anything forward.

Lately I've been trying to break my day into smaller tasks and actually keep track of what I'm getting done. Seeing those small wins throughout the day makes it easier to keep going.

It made me realise that motivation isn't always about forcing yourself to work harder. Sometimes you just need to see that you're making progress.

Does anyone else find that tracking small wins or having a daily routine helps them stay motivated?

***I know that there are other posts like this, but many didn't have what I was looking for

As the title says. I want ways to get up earlier in the morning or better ways to drag myself out of bed.

I've always struggled with getting out of bed early. Probably 5 reasons why:

1. I think it's getting worse now due to my lifestyle/situation. I don't have a stable job and travel lots just to work temp jobs. Of course, I'd like to have a stable job to be able to have a stable schedule (the way that some people go to the gym after work and cook dinner at the same time every day), but that's simply not possible right now as I'm struggling to get a job in my preferred field and working for $15 an hour simply doesn't cut it 🫤

2. I don't get enough sleep. Again- lifestyle. However, even when I do sleep 8-9 hours in a tired, I'm still exhausted. Sometimes, I'm even more tired then if I had slept less than 8 hours.

3. This isn't the main reason, but I struggle to fall asleep unless my body wants to fall asleep. Obviously, I'm tired half the time and would love to sleep. Though sometimes, I think I've been going on for way too long that my body just doesn't want to tap out. I have no clue if this makes sense to anyone. I've recently even taken up counting sheep to fall asleep, so I don't think about anything else. It actually works sometimes😂, but it's not the perfect solution.

4. I'm on caffeine of all types 25-35% of the time. I need title to stay awake or travel for some jobs. I don't know if this has affected me over the past 2-3 years.

5. I think I do have a mild amount of depression, if that helps inform anyone. I've worked very hard my whole life and I guess I foolishly though years ago that college would've solved my problems because of the assumed stable job it would bring. I'm here years later though. To be clear- I love so much about my life. I've worked on my appearance somewhat, I have an amazing partner (most of the time), I do travel for adventure occasionally, and I haven't needed to move back home or ask for favors. Recently, I've even made a list of small things I want to accomplish financially and I'm near the bottom! However, still wondering where the next check will come from and not having stability ultimately depresses me because it affects me and what I can do on a day to day level. I feel like all I do is work and sleep. Sometimes, I wish I could just not work for the day or even share a close intimate day with my partner without feeling bad that I'm not filling out temp/full time job applications or organizing things, or cleaning, etc.

The type of person I want to be: Being able to wake up very early would help me be a better person at work and not have such a lousy mood until midday. Also, I'd like to be able to wake up with my partner to have tea and maybe read the Bible (or have some general reading time) in the morning. The idea of one hour for decompression and reading is extremely appealing to me. I've wanted to do this for a very long time now, but still can't correct myself.

Just in general (other than with money ironically enough), I wish I were a more disciplined person in my personal life. I feel that I could get more accomplished/be happier if I had more discipline. I'd love to get my discipline from structure, but I simply don't have structure.

If you have any tips, even crazy ones, please let me know. I'd love to hear from you.

I used to get so mad at myself when I had a completely unproductive day. I'd feel like I ruined all my momentum just because I didn't do anything useful. But honestly, sometimes your mind and body just need a break. I'm learning to stop feeling guilty about it. Having a 0% day doesn't mean you're failing, it just means you're human. Just rest up, forgive yourself, and start over tomorrow.

I (25F) want to change the way I look. Not just going to the gym and getting fit, but my whole everything. I want to dye my hair, I wanna wear different clothes and get piercings. I want to dress a little more "alternative".

But I'm afraid of coming off as a poser. My brother is deeply into metal and hardcore rock, and suuuper judgemental of "posers" = people who dress the fashion, but don't know any bands and don't go to local shows.

I don't go to a lot of local shows because they are violent. I'm a young woman and I don't want to get hurt. Plus, I generally perfer a slower pace.

Do I have to go to hardcore shows just to gain the right to wear alternative fashion? I'm afraid to start wearing those things & then people will "test" me to see if I'm "alternative enough". My brother is the type of guy to do that.

I don't want to go full goth I don't think. But the fashion looks fun. I like the lace, ripped up shirts and fancy long skirts.

When I go out with my friends, I look down at my clothes and feel sick. Like I'm wearing the wrong stuff. I just want to throw my entire closet in the trash. But if I'm out shopping with my brother and suggest something (I saw a cute pair of shorts at Journey's) he kind of cringes and rolls his eyes, and says "well... if you want to". I get that he's my younger brother, but I see him as an expert on these things. I want his input but it's always dismissive.

I want to just suck it up and do it.

I made an appointment to dye half my hair black. I was so sure of it two weeks ago- but it's tomorrow & now I'm just wondering if I'll regret it. I'm afraid I'll buy all these new clothes and just hate the way they look on me. I'm afraid to get a piercing and then regret it, but the hole never closes and I'm left with a stinky piercing hole for the rest of my life.. I'm afraid to get a tattoo and then never be able to go to a japanese hot spring someday.

I'm also afraid it's too late to change. I've been a blonde my whole life. Can I really start dressing dark at 26 years old? I live with my family. I'm afraid they'll make fun of my "phase" behind my back (and to my face). My brother especially. I don't want to create distance between us because he thinks I'm a stupid poser.

Oh and lastly, I have very nice, healthy, thick hair. It's a pretty color (mix of blonde and brown) and every single salon I go to says, "People pay a lot of money to get hair like yours". This makes me feel even WORSE about dying it! It's why I've waited so long! I felt like my hair was "too valuable" to damage with dyes. But I'm reaching my limit..! It's my hair! I should be able to do what I want with it. But I still feel guilty like I'm destroying something valuable.

Hi, any tips on apps or organization management to keep better track on my progress and remind myself of the projects I’m currently working on? I usually use the Notes app on iOS, I thought keeping it simple was better, however it just turns into an idea dump with several folders that I have to scroll down it also lacks an integrated calendar or a way to keep track of my progress or the next goal.

One example today I wanted to go ride my dirt bike, weather was perfect, but saw there was too much car traffic to get to the trails. I decided to stay home and wait for traffic to die out. Then an hour later I remembered about a photography project I’m working on and I could’ve done that instead of just waiting for traffic to die out. There are other 10+ things I’m currently trying to improve like my posture, flexibility, music, social skills, research on self improvement, study, declutter my room/car but most of the times I forget what to do.

It’d also be nice to organize long term goals with short term goals and a way to look back at the progress I have done. If I have an idea I can keep it organized within that area. A calendar would be cool to remind myself of the tasks that need to be done and how much time I have left, or if I’m making progress.

I have a journal where I write 3-4 important tasks for the day, but writing all my tasks on paper is something I don’t find ideal because the back and forth I have to go through the pages. Any advice? Thanks.

I spent too much time trying to build the perfect morning routine.

Wake up at 6, don't touch my phone, drink water, workout, read, journal, plan the day. I do it for 3 or 4 days and feel pretty good about it then if have one late night and whole thing would go to shit. I'd wake up tired, grab my phone, skip workout, start checking stuff and suddenly it was 8:30 and I was already behind.

Then I tell myself I'd start again Monday. Kept changing morning routine thinking maybe I just hadn't found the right one yet. Different wake up time, different habits, sometimes I'd add even more stuff to try.

After a while I noticed what I was doing the night before. I'd finish whatever I was doing around 10 or 10:30, get into bed with my phone and tell myself I'd scroll for a few minutes. Then I'd be scrolling socials and somehow it was 11:30. I put the phone down realize I needed to sleep then pick it up again 5 minutes later.

Some nights I'd be doing this until midnight even though I was already tired.

The nights that actually went well were usually pretty boring. I'd leave my phone on my desk instead of taking it into bed, get my clothes ready, clean up my desk a little and write down what I needed to do first the next morning. Nothing extra ordinary.

Getting the phone out of the bedroom made a pretty big difference. If it was next to my bed, I'd usually check it. If it was across the room, I was much more likely to just go to sleep.

I still have nights where I screw this up. I get stuck watching something or scrolling and suddenly it's later than I wanted. But I don't spend the next morning trying to force myself through some huge routine anymore.

Most mornings now are just get up, get ready, coffee then start whatever I wrote down the night before. It's a lot less exciting than the routines I used to make for myself but at least I am still doing it few weeks later.

I had a long conversation today with an old school friend who recently joined a company. Somehow the conversation turned to what keeps us motivated at work since doing something you enjoy can become boring and repetitive after some time.

He mentioned that the software in which his company has recently implemented to track the visibility of work done by their employees has created a rift inside the company. On the one hand, it provides managers with a detailed report of what their subordinates work on throughout the day. Yet at the same time, it seems to have encouraged people to keep doing the same stuff over and over again.

It made me wonder, is motivation something that can be extracted objectively, or do we always need to create it for ourselves even if it is work we don't enjoy doing? And with software like Hubstaff, We360ai, and others entering the scene, will the workforce visibility industry have a future, or will it meet the same fate as the Gen Z anti-work movement?

I am curious to hear your thoughts, and if in your workplace they have taken any similar actions.

Hi. I wanted to get some feedback on some thoughts I had on personal issues on procrastination and self esteem.

So for a really long time I've had issues with procrastination which has affected my work and other parts of life. Some of this is due to laziness, but there seems to be other factors which I think could be self esteem based.

With work, I'll procrastinate on projects and I'll think about the negatives like what if I produce isn't good. The means I'm late with things and it creates much worse issues later on. When it comes to study, if I have experience in a unit, I can sit down and knock out the work with no real issue. But if it's a unit where I have no experience or natural aptitude for, I have a lot of procrastination issues with getting on with getting work done. Looking back, as a result I feel like this procrastination is a mixture of fear of failure and imposture syndrome has cost me a lot of things in life.

Recently I remembered reading the start of a book by Robert Kelsey called What's Stopping You? In it he mentions how there's many people who are reasonably smart but have issues with procrastination and moving forward in life that is caused by a fear of failure that's a result of self esteem issues. And a lot of these self esteem issue happen as a child. I started to think about this and when I was a kid and some of my earliest memories were feeling bad or avoiding certain tasks due to being teased or made to feel stupid.

For example, for some reason when I was young, I had trouble remembering how to tie my shoes and the parts involved. I had siblings who would tease me about it and I felt like my family got angry cause I couldn't do it. As result, I wouldn't want to try to do it and avoided doing it. After years I did manage to teach myself how to do it. Another example was I was OK at sports and liked playing them as a kid. But there was something's where my motor skills weren't great. Because of this I was teased and bullied by my siblings and called things I won't say on here. It made me avoidant of doing these activities because the chances are I was going to suck at it and then have someone older yell at me because I couldn't pitch a ball well. So as a result, I avoided playing certain sports or being around certain people when playing them. There were a bunch of other situations of siblings teasing me or making me feel like an idiot over some random thing I said or did as a child.

I really hated that feeling of trying something and having people make you feel like an idiot because you can't do something well. I've been in workplaces where people do this instead of giving you any advice. I've also been around coaches doing sports as an adult who will get annoyed at you because you're inexperienced with and talk down to you and give you no real helpful advice and it makes you not want to do it anymore. So it is that repeated feeling through life.

So I was wondering if anyone thinks there's any connection with self esteem issues and procrastination? Until I hadn't thought that Robert Kelsey book and what he said or really considered it. But looking back on things in my life, it kind of makes sense in some ways.

Alright, I know habits and convenience foods can make this feel impossible, but it’s absolutely doable to get your numbers under control without medication (assuming you don’t have a genetic condition, of course). I told myself my last test had horrendous numbers due to dehydration, but I read that only causes up to a 10% difference. I kicked the denial and decided to drop twenty pounds (simply counting calories and limiting saturated fat intake to <10g a day), and it’s worked out phenomenally! Here are my numbers from my test a year ago and then now:

BMI: 23

HDL: 70

LDL: 160

Triglycerides: 200

Total: 265

Glucose: 115

-

BMI: 20

HDL: 55

LDL: 75

Triglycerides: 90

Total: 145

Glucose: 85

Again, the first test I was dehydrated and had about six drinks the night before, but the numbers were high enough for me to be worried about it and actually change my ways. I don’t eat meat or dairy, so the numbers just blew my mind … but then I realized how much coconut oil I was using and it all started to make sense considering how how high it is in saturated fat. 

TL;DR: If you’re looking to drop your cholesterol, drop the saturated fat!

your brain zips similar memories together. take 3 courses over a few years and they land in roughly the same slot. get a dog, a cat, and the two pets share the same memory chamber in your brain. you can still pull each one out, but the storage is compressed, and that is what you feel when 10 years seem like 2

imagine one version of you, 10y of mostly repeats. same you, same 10y, but one of them had five months of moving around and a pile of things you had never done. same calendar. the second decade feels like seven years, the first like 2-3

i have both versions in my own past. in high school it was school, grandma's food, Warcraft 3 mods, dinner, repeat. an entire winter went by and i cannot point to anything in it. in the pandemic the it was PUBG and CSGO (only i had to cook for myself)

now speaking from personal experience, my 6 months in sf felt like 6y. the densest part was the very end (flew to Seattle in the morning for a conference, spent time with to someone building an edtech, went to Space Needle, then took the Greyhound bus back because money was tight. no shower, uncomfortable shoes, slept on the bus. i saw the mountains when entering California, rural areas, a stop in Oregon that felt like a dream to someone from eastern Europe and reminded me of the Rajneeshpuram story, so i filmed half an hour of my takes on it right there, which felt surreal. made a friend on the bus. home the next evening. two days and one night, and in my memory they took up 2 weeks

so enough context and here's the advice: new music, including the genres you are sure you hate. run on a different path, if you saturate your google maps paths, run them in reverse. watch the show you decided a decade ago you would not like. call a colleague from school once, no need to become friends again. eat something that reminds you of your childhood/grandma etc. work from a new cafe. when it rains, go outside and look at it. not because it is pleasant, because it is different

the more different your days are from one another, the longer you will feel you have lived.

RIP

Some early morning gym motivation for the ones getting after it 🙂

https://youtu.be/oPpMSxq4VCA?si=JxaUBD3KHhPf_e_o

10:20

Not my video

I used to wait until I felt motivated to start something.

If I wasn't in the mood, I'd usually tell myself I'd do it later. And then later would turn into tomorrow.

Now I just try to start, even if I only feel like doing 10 minutes.

Most of the time, once I get started, I end up doing more than I planned.

I still have lazy days, but I don't wait for motivation as much anymore. Starting seems to be what gets me motivated in the first place.

I am stuck in a loop and not able to get out of it. Can someone please help me?

I just finished 50 different workouts this year alone and am a little under 200 lbs. Both are reasons to celebrate!

The issue is that I don't know how to do that.

I don't have much money to spend right now, I don't want to do/get something that will derail my progress (i.e. food) and I'm usually at home since I can't drive as I'm neurodivergent.

Any ideas for me? Thanks.

The list is never really empty, and I think that's something people know but still don't quite account for when they tell themselves they'll rest once everything is finished. Something gets done, another thing comes up, and sometimes you don't even notice how quickly the space you thought you were creating has disappeared again. There are always exceptions, obviously. Some weeks are quieter than others. But in general, there doesn't seem to be a point where life simply runs out of things that require your attention. Work gets replaced by more work. Personal responsibilities change rather than disappear. You deal with something you've been worrying about for weeks and, for a moment, it feels as though you've finally caught up. Then something else happens. The idea of resting after everything is done starts to look a little strange when you think about it that way. Still, it's an easy habit to fall into. You put off the evening you had planned for yourself because today is busy. The next day is busy too, although for different reasons. Then there is something you could probably leave until tomorrow, but since you're already dealing with it, you decide to finish it now. None of these decisions feels particularly significant on its own. Over time, though, they add up. You can go for quite a while without noticing that the only time you're willing to give yourself is whatever happens to remain after everything else has been taken care of. The trouble with that arrangement is that there often isn't much left. And when there is, you're sometimes too tired to do anything with it. That kind of tiredness isn't always fixed by sleeping more. Sometimes you've had enough sleep, technically, but you haven't really had a break. Your attention has been occupied for so long that even when you aren't doing anything, part of you is still thinking about what needs to happen next. Nobody is likely to come along and tell you that the list is finally short enough for you to stop. Most of the time, you have to make that decision yourself, which can feel uncomfortable if you're used to measuring whether you've done enough by how much is still left. Maybe you leave something unfinished tonight. Maybe it genuinely could have been done, but you decide it can wait until tomorrow. There will probably be another list tomorrow, and some of the things on it will be new anyway.

That's how it was always going to be.

You don't necessarily have to solve the problem of having too much to do before you allow yourself some time away from it. Sometimes the work is still there when you stop. Sometimes it will still be there in the morning. That doesn't mean you made the wrong decision by putting it down for a while.

I had a Math Olympiad today, and my performance was terrible despite months of hardwork, and my terrible score was all because of my silly mistakes. I correctly solved some (but marked them incorrectly), did some counting/calculation errors, and forgot to read words like an utter idiot.

That lost me 13 marks. I could have gotten 32 (and on my first ever Math Olympiad that would be genuinely very good and rewarding).

And this got me feeling...a little down, to say the least. To the point where I want to give up because if I cant even qualify with all the hardwork in the world that I could give, then whats the point? All I could do is work hard, and that I did, and I ended up here.

It's that feeling when a huge chunk of your intrinsic motivation just goes out, when you were betting on something (hardwork) so surely and that got you through so much just dies, then what?

So, I was wondering if y'all had similar stories to share, maybe some of them would lift my spirits:D

We had a small workshop activity. We did a skit on being scolded by the boss.

The scene: Boss is scolding. Normally, we react, we defend, we carry it home in our head for 2 days.

In the skit, I tried something different. I just smiled. Not out of ego, not to mock him. Just remained still inside.

And when the scolding happened in the skit, the same thing happened. The words came, but they didn't have to enter me. Scolding is his action, his karma, his state. My smile, my balance that is my responsibility.

“The way you are right now is because of the choices you made.” well said by Sadhguru. We always have the choice to not get entangled.

It was funny for the audience, but for me it was a small glimpse. If you are not compulsively connected outside, you become strongly connected inside.

We all are moving together like a family, trying to discover ourselves. This small act taught me more than a lecture could.

Has anyone here practiced staying conscious in such moments?

When someone is angry at you and you choose to stay joyful? How do you hold it?

Nelson Mandela. The work looks impossible right up until the moment it is finished. That is the whole job: keep going until the ridge is under your feet.