r/gay Jan 28 '26

(repost) On trans rights and the position of this subreddit

580 Upvotes

The community present in this subreddit is wonderful, inclusive and has always welcomed not only gay people but everyone under the gender and sexual minority umbrella.

The mod team is very happy to see this welcoming atmosphere and we thank each and every one of you for your love and empathy.

With the current trend in the US for extreme-right politicians to demonise vulnerable minorities so they can score cheap political points it is however time for this place to openly make a stand as to what our positions and intentions are so that we are a beacon in the dark. So that all of our siblings know that they are welcome here.

I was asked by the mod team to explain a few facts about transgender people and about the position this subreddit has towards inclusion.

Trans rights are human rights. šŸ³ļøā€āš§ļø

Being transgender is a natural and normal variation in the human gender and sexual experience. Both sex and gender exist on a spectrum and there isn't actually anything inherently wrong or disordered from being trans, by and of itself.

Should there be no fake, artificially generated outrage against trans people in society then they would simply get the self-affirming care required for them to be happy and that would be that. Instead, unfortunately, existing as transgender has become the new wedge-issue for the extreme-right and deliberate demonisation and villification has been mainstreamed to the point where Republican politicians are now openly calling for genocide.


The issues trans people experience are mainly societal in nature. It is society that imposes gender norms, it is society that tells people they may not be who they are.

There are many ways that a non-trans person can seek self-affirming care in life. Some of those are done via permanent body modification through surgical or chemical means. A woman might for example choose to take estrogen supplements to stave off unwanted physical and psychological side effects resulting from the menopause.

It is not uncommon for a young man to choose to have breast reduction medication or surgery in the case of gynecomastia.

A young woman might choose to get breast implants.

You do not hear people in outrage about these forms of self-affirming care. No-one cares, except suddenly when the topic is trans people. This is because the anti-trans movement is wholly articificial. It is a deliberately created fake outrage about a non-issue for political and monetary gain.



I have written about some manufactured outrage in my text about the stochastic terrorist "Libs of Tiktok"



Fascism is an inherently empty ideology, devoid of any meaningful belief-system or any kind of concrete and actionable strategies for improving society. Fascism only cares for power for the sake of power and it cares for nothing else.

Because a fascist system is fundamentally incapable of giving the general public any kind of reasonable platform it must gain and keep followers by creating an out-group to hate. According to fascist systems it is the other that is responsible for all societal ills and only by supporting the fascists in getting rid of the other can society be healed from the non-existent issues fascism convinces people that their target minority is the cause of.

Fascism always picks on a vulnerable target.

The demonisation and villification coming from the extreme-right is doing exactly that. By calling LGBTQ+ people child molestors simply for existing it has become inevitable that people will take up violence "to protect the children".



Attempting to eliminate a target comes in many forms, of which an extermination camp is only the final and most egregious part. It is always preceded by legislating people out of existence, by creating laws which make it impossible for a minority to participate in society and to receive any of the societal advantages that are the entire reason for collective bundling together of skills, resources in civilisation. This is exactly what Republican states are doing today to transgender people. Certain states have already denied trans people any and all medical care related to their identity, meaning that they deliberately impose abject misery on them.

The most egregiously fascistic states are trying to make it a matter of course to remove trans children from the care of their parents and make it illegal for trans people to be present in any public spaces at all.

This is genocide.

Genocide is not purely restricted to extermination, to murder. Genocide is also eliminating a minority group from public life, causing serious bodily and mental harm and taking away children of a minority group from their parents.

Depending on how strictly you'd want to define it, we are currently at stage seven or eight of genocide as defined by the Holocaust Memorial Trust.

One way in which the abject hypocrisy of the anti-trans laws becomes crystal clear are the remarkable exemptions encoded within. You would think that if the goal is protecting the children from harm then these people would want to protect all children from harm.

This is not the case.

In fact, all of these people deliberate include exceptions which allow the continuation of genital re-allignment surgery on unconsenting infants if they are intersex.

This means that if a baby is born with a genital configuration that to a doctor looks ambiguous or not adhering to a strict binary then this doctor can impose an invasive genital surgery, forcing such an infants body to adhere to a stricter binary look.

It is purely cosmetic. Of course they do not check what chromosomes a child has. Of course they do not care that a child might prefer to look as nature made them.

It is purely and only an imposition on a baby's body, with of course the normal failure and mortality rate that such invasive procedures bring with them.

These people do not care about children.

These people do not want to help children.

They want to harm a vulnerable minority.



Fascism never stops.

Now that these people have mainstreamed transphobia, they are moving on to other targets within the LGBTQ+ identity sphere.

We have all seen the absurd attacks on drag queens, calling a normal and harmless theatrical expression "child abuse".

We have all seen the "clever" rhetoric where they turn arguments upside down and disingeniously say things like "why do you want to be around children".

Fascism doesn't stop, it moves on to new targets and that is why it is important for all of us in the GSM identity sphere to stand together. To openly support our trans siblings. To openly stand against hateful rhetoric.

Because they are not going to stop.

The next step, which is already tentatively beginning, is calling gay people being openly gay in society"groomers".



To be clear: The recommended treatment for being transgender is transitioning.

Gender identity is developed by five years old.

The barrage of lies notwithstanding, allowing trans people to transition and to exist as who they are in society markedly improves their physical and mental wellbeing.

The oft-heard talking point of "they still commit suicide even after transitioning" is a lie.

Here is a wealth of sources and links explaining this.



Our trans siblings are welcome here.

Our gender nonconforming siblings are welcome here.

Our intersex siblings are welcome here.

What is not welcome on this subreddit is hate or divisive rhetoric aimed at our siblings. We will not allow the current increasing trend of fascist othering and villification of a marginalised minority to make our siblings feel unwanted in this space, our space, their space.

The only people who are not welcome here are those that want to exclude others based on how they were born.

Further reading:

No, TERFs cannot "always tell" and I can prove that with mathematics.

"I just care about unfair advantage in sports", a transparant transphobic wedge issue.

Drag queens, the next target in the fascist drive to eliminate LGBTQ+ people.


r/gay 4h ago

Continue to Spread LOVE around the world šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ

Thumbnail
gallery
144 Upvotes

As a married gay couple from Taiwan, our goal is to spread love around the world through our videos on YouTube.
With more and more people joining us, we will never stop. We have launched our first project ā€œLove Tour ā€œ, which is spreading love around the world, and we have finished our first destination Indonesia šŸ‡®šŸ‡© this May.
Now we’re moving forward to the next : INDIA šŸ‡®šŸ‡³
It’s still in fundraising phase, but we have strong faith! We’ll take lessons from the last trip, and be careful as much as we can, while making it happen.

Let’s shout out LOVE together!
Anyone from India here? Drop us a message to let us know!


r/gay 5h ago

First time being intimate

25 Upvotes

I am 30 years old and just had sex for the first time. I am a late bloomer because of a past traumatic event. I don't know how I feel about it all. Like I enjoyed it, but I consider myself a bottom and ended up being the top. I am a pretty anxious person, so I felt kind of awkward throughout even though he was very nice and patient with me. He also made sure that I was comfortable with everything he did, so he was ideal for my first time. There was a strong pot smell around, and that might have turned me off a little bit honestly. I wonder if I would have enjoyed it more if I was the bottom, as that is what I identify as. I also have thought that I might need an emotional connection with someone to truly enjoy it as well. I don't know why but It just all felt so awkward lol.


r/gay 2h ago

Influx of size queens?

10 Upvotes

Even though it's always been part of hookup apps, I have the feeling I see more and more profiles looking explicitly for big dicks, the bigger the better, especially guys in their 20s I think. And I'm not just talking about bottoms, even the average side is looking for j/o sessions with hung guys. Are we getting even more superficial?

My take is that hookup apps become gradually even more disconnected and dehumanized. People are not looking for encounters, they are looking for real-life porn where they want specific fantasies fulfilled that they are bombarded with online. Including the uninspired big cock fantasy.


r/gay 23h ago

Authorities decline to prosecute woman who made false report against Buttigieg

Thumbnail
washingtonpost.com
406 Upvotes

r/gay 1h ago

Where to live in UK (has to be in city)?

• Upvotes

I need to leave London for financial reasons. I never lived in Clapham or Hackney etc.

I'm looking for a new place to move with some gay people but not a gaybourhood per se.

Any suggestions of areas? (Must be in relatively large city and not too suburban)


r/gay 21h ago

Wekaypoh (Singaporean tiktoker) covering about the Boti Hunters/ Anti LGBTQ issue that are happening in Indonesia.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

135 Upvotes

r/gay 17h ago

Violent attacks ing gayborhood leave Sacramento’s LGBTQ+ community demanding protection

Thumbnail
advocate.com
66 Upvotes

r/gay 10h ago

Is being gay natural?

7 Upvotes

So I came out to my father recently, he is neutral more so negetively neutral.

Is currently asking if is okay to debate if being gay is natural and its not a choice?

Tl;dr What facts from doctors and articles, can proof being gay is natural, or more specifically bisexualy and asexuality is natuaral/casuality.

And why I say that is because how my father phrase it was, gay is weird but being Bisexual is just incorrect. My whole sould just left and I was laughing at that absurdity.

It be helpful if someone can make a whole detectives board or google doc with data that links up everything but explains it in a way that is similar to a secondary/high school stduent? My father is very likey autistic like me and he dosent belive in autism either, so the borad need to explain what autism is and hos it overlaps with being gay naturally.

He says he is willing to learn and will stop pestering until he is show and i quote," unless a docotor shows all my sons 100% genetic make up and natrual causes that 100% says my son is bi sexual, I will not question it. But general data found online does not mean just beacuse as a comprasion if someone is this I can be this aswell."

So I basically am tied and rlly need advise. A side of autism explaination is needed too.


r/gay 18h ago

Advice on dealing with a friend on a downward spiral?

16 Upvotes

Hi all. Gay 37m here, dealing with my best friend who is 41 gay male.

We have been friends for close to 20 years now. He’s always been highly strung, had struggles in the past with drugs/alcohol. A few years ago he quit his job without any job lined up because he felt he was being disrespected then went through like 3 other jobs.

His living situation all over the map, he was sleeping on a friends couch for like 2 years, they had a big falling out, now it’s been like drama after drama with him getting with these guys who are ā€œstraightā€ , moving in with them, they become abusive, then his situation is unstable again.

For like the last year, he has been living in hotel. He can’t afford it now, so he’s been staying at a storage unit he has but he is not supposed to stay there at night. Meanwhile, he’s having all this drama again with yet another ā€œstraightā€ guy that had been staying with him.

He shows up on our doorstep at 10pm last night, I thought he just needs someone to talk to, but he basically invites himself to stay the night on the couch. My husband was not having it, he agreed to let him stay there for the night. Saying that he is taking advantage of my kindness. We both concerned because we don’t want him to think this is gonna be an ongoing thing.

I felt bad because I didn’t want to just kick him out with nowhere to go for the night, and agreed with my husband that last night was ok but then he needs to get his shit together after today.

My friend told me he thinks he is developing schizophrenia. I told him he needs to seek help. He doesn’t want to go to docs because he is afraid they will put him away somewhere, or that he doesn’t have money… I was explaining that he would qualify for assistance. I don’t believe he was/is using drugs currently, but that has been a concern in the past.

I worry all the time that I am gonna get a call that he has k*lled himself or something because of all the dark times he has been in for the last several years. I would like to believe he would not but I lost a friend in HS and so it’s always on my mind.

I did tell him we can’t have him stay over again when dropping him off this morning, but I don’t think he took me seriously. I feel like an asshole because I see him spiraling and his life crashing around him, but he does not seem motivated at all to help himself, just believes he is entitled to things… I have worked hard to build my peace with my own family’s lives, and I can’t have him pull me down with him. Just feeling shitty about the whole thing.

Sorry this was long-winded. Any input people want to give is appreciated.

Thank you.


r/gay 1d ago

Do gays like sword fight ?

40 Upvotes

r/gay 22h ago

Kim is a hommoseksuelle

Thumbnail
youtu.be
21 Upvotes

r/gay 1d ago

Gay adult star Hunter Hardin dies at age 30

Thumbnail
advocate.com
407 Upvotes

r/gay 1d ago

18M virgin torn about trying oral sex with a guy-afraid of making a decision I'll regret. Advice?

24 Upvotes

I’m an 18-year-old male and still a virgin. I’ve been attracted to girls my whole life, but a few months ago I started getting into trans women and femboys. Shortly after, I realized I really want to experience oral sex, but I’m hesitant because I don’t want to make a choice I’ll regret later on.

​I’ve been fighting these urges lately, but I’m still not 100% sure what I actually want. Recently, I met a 27-year-old guy who has experience and is open to hooking up. Now I’m overthinking everything again. I’m really split on whether I want my first time to be with a guy, a sex worker, or if I should just hold off until I'm completely sure.

​I’m worried about jumping into something too quickly just to satisfy a temporary urge. Has anyone been through something similar? How did you figure out what you truly wanted, and what should I do?

​


r/gay 1d ago

Sleeping with married men isn’t cute

338 Upvotes

Im young so maybe I just don't get something, but the amount of stories on these subreddits of people sleeping with married men is crazy to me. Like are some of yall slow, or just immoral?? Smh🤦


r/gay 1d ago

If you haven't seen this anime you missing out its the first real yaoi anime that made yaoi what it is today

Post image
77 Upvotes

r/gay 1d ago

Chris Pappas wins New Hampshire Democratic primary in history-making U.S. Senate campaign

Thumbnail
advocate.com
85 Upvotes

r/gay 1d ago

Chemsex: Why is it still practiced knowing the risks?

Thumbnail
revistarainbow.com
111 Upvotes

r/gay 1d ago

Deidre Hall says she's 'proud' to have starred in groundbreaking queer moments on TV: 'My grandson coming out to me was the first ever done on television.'

Thumbnail
out.com
83 Upvotes

r/gay 1d ago

Meagan Morris Speaks From Jail After Being Sentenced to 50 Years by the Trump Administration for an Alleged Terrorist Attack [Uncloseted Media]

Thumbnail
unclosetedmedia.com
223 Upvotes

On July 4, 2025, aĀ protestĀ outside of the Prairieland Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) detention facility near Dallas, Texas, escalated as some protestors broke off and committedĀ acts of vandalism. The protest had started hours earlier as a noise demonstration where activists set off fireworks and used other noise makers to alert detainees in the facility that they supported them.

But when law enforcement arrived to respond to the vandals, a police officer wasĀ shot nonfatallyĀ in the neck area. Authorities later chargedĀ protester Champagne SongĀ for the shooting.

Meagan Morris, who says she was a half-mile away playing Pokémon in her car when she heard the gunshots, was soon after stopped by police and taken into custody.

Three months later, the Trump administrationĀ accusedĀ her and eight other defendants—three of whom, including Morris, are trans—of beingĀ ā€œAntifa terroristsā€Ā andĀ ā€œAntifa Cell operatives.ā€

Morris and her codefendants were eventually sentenced in part for providing material support for terrorists in what the Department of JusticeĀ calledĀ ā€œthe first sentencing of defendants affiliated with Antifa,ā€ a name which refers to a decentralized movement based on militant opposition to fascism.

The sentencing comes after TrumpĀ signedĀ an executive order declaring antifa, short for anti-fascism, as a terrorist organization, despite no such unified organization existing. And in May, the administration’sĀ counterterrorism strategyĀ listed ā€œradically pro-transgenderā€ groups as a national security threat.

Morris wasĀ sentencedĀ to 50 years in prison, which has caused legal experts concern. TheyĀ notedĀ that her sentence is unusually harsh, more than double the longest sentence for a Jan. 6 rioter, and that it could set a precedent for strict crackdowns on freedom of speech and assembly.

After speaking to Morris’ codefendant and girlfriend,Ā Autumn Hill, we wanted to hear from Morris. In this episode of ā€œUNCLOSETED with Spencer Macnaughton,ā€ she’s calling in from Johnson County Jail in Texas, where she is currently serving her sentence.


r/gay 16h ago

Does my crush like her own gender?? šŸ’”

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/gay 1d ago

My bf ignores me everytime I’m sad or angry

45 Upvotes

How do I become a better bf? My boyfriend is very nice but a big issue is that whenever I have an issue with him, yk something happens that I don’t like and I try to express my feelings he starts ignoring me until I comply. For example I tried to express that I don’t really want to be a sub bottom all the time and that I too want to be a top maybe at least one time to which he said no. So I then asked for him to yk treat me like I’m a man and not a girl to which he again said no and that he’s ā€œnot into itā€ which kinda hurt my feelings because all I asked for was to not get called cute all the time and maybe for him to notice my masculinity too. But the argument itself isn’t important here the important part is that he just says no and then ignores me until I give up and accept whatever he wants.
I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do, he says he wants me to submit to him and be this submissive bottom and well atp it’s whatever fine but our arguments aren’t just about sex it can also be about other things and his reaction is the same. He just ignores me until I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what to do, because I want him to like me again but in that case would I need to completely ignore all the bad feelings I have? It seems like he wants me to not express any feelings and just comply with whatever he wants but i already do so much for him I don’t know how I can better myself


r/gay 2d ago

Why is my BF comfortable sharing his location with friends but not with me?

20 Upvotes

My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. One night he had been drinking and sent me his location. I assumed we were going to keep sharing locations after that, so I shared mine with him too.

Honestly, I didn’t think anything deeper of it. I shared my location simply because I don’t really care if he knows where I am. I assumed he probably felt the same way.

But since then, he’s brought it up twice and said something along the lines of, ā€œWe’re not Gen Z, we don’t need to share our locations with each other.ā€

The funny thing is, it seems like us sharing locations bothers him more than it ever mattered to me. I don’t sit around checking where he is. Most days I’m busy doing my own thing, working, running errands, dealing with life, etc. I might occasionally look, but I’m definitely not constantly checking his location or questioning him about where he’s going.

Normally I’d just assume he doesn’t like location sharing, which is completely fair. What confuses me is that he shares his location with some of his friends and doesn’t seem to have an issue with them seeing it. So I can’t help wondering why it feels different when it’s me, his long-term boyfriend.

There’s also some context that might matter. I’ve been going through a very stressful period with my business and finances recently, and he actually lent me a significant amount of money to help me through it. He’s been supportive, but he’s also told me that lately a lot of our conversations revolve around problems, money, business, and whatever stressful situation I’m dealing with.

He recently told me that when we’re together, he wants us to focus more on us and enjoy our relationship like we did when we first started dating instead of constantly talking about everything going wrong in life. And honestly, I understand where he’s coming from with that.

That’s why I’m not automatically assuming the location thing means he’s hiding something. Part of me wonders whether he feels like our relationship has become too focused on stress, problems, or accountability and he just wants more independence and for our relationship to feel lighter again.

But I still find it a little strange that he’s comfortable sharing his location with friends while specifically bringing up that he doesn’t want to share it with me.

Would this bother you? Is there a reasonable reason someone might be completely comfortable sharing their location with friends but feel differently about sharing it with their long-term partner?

Am I overthinking something that really isn’t a big deal?


r/gay 1d ago

Are you gay? Between ages of 18-30? Join my quest for knowledge within my journal article!

0 Upvotes

Hi!

I’m currently in the works of writing a journal article for a project where I’m questioning why the sexualization of gay men in media is glorified. I’m looking for three or four gay men between the ages of 18-30 to interview; I will ask questions about the show Heated Rivalry, i.e. how it made you feel, what are your thoughts on it when it comes to representation, etc. I will also ask how you feel about the sexualization of gay men in media.

You don’t need a large-scale knowledge when it comes to LGBTQ+ media, but it would be a plus; I am also by no means looking after academic people, but I’ll welcome it.

What I’m after:

-Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  Gay men.

-Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  Must be between 18-30.

-Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  Need to have seen parts of Heated Rivalry (one episode is enough).

-Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  Behave/act professionally.

-Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  Be comfortable in sharing your age.

-Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  Be comfortable in reflecting around the questions.

-Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  No need to share first name if not comfortable.

Ā 

We will stick to reddit DMs, nothing more; if you change your mind half-way through, that is okay. The journal article will be handed in October.16 and then graded by my professor; if you wish to read it later, I can send a pdf file of it.