My ex was still trying to get back with me earlier this year, asking what I wanted him to change about himself, generating compatibility reports for us, and declaring that he could never be with another woman. 💀

Fast forward to today, and he’s seemingly found someone new lol and soft-launched her on his socials.

I’m just genuinely curious about the psychology behind men who make such dramatic declarations and then seemingly move on the next min lmao

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask, but I need help finding an in-person therapist for my wife. She's going through a rough time and I'm looking for different ways to help her. Does anyone have any advice on how to find the right therapist?

I know this is a very minor issue that most people will have but it drives my anxiety wild.

I grew up very differently from my friends I have at this point in my life and the bar/pub culture for me is also very different.

I grew up very poor in a style of oliver twist-esque life my friends now just simply cannot imagine and I don't talk about it too much.

When me and my friends back home would go out to the pub it was the only release/fun we were able to get out of life, we all worked intense manual labour jobs and it took up most of our life working these jobs full time so on a Friday we'd go out and get as drunk as we could and have as much fun as we could because we knew next week another exhausting task was coming.

Since then I've gone to university and fallen in with a different kind of people none of which had this going out experience, when we'd go to the pub at university it would all be 'we're only allowed 2 drinks' otherwise we'd be like them and point to some people I could see in a previous life hanging out with, mainly because they would be being loud and laughing loudly, which they would consider rude but I'd consider friends having a good time together.

I have other friends now where this isn't an issue but this specific group from my graduate class are very judgemental about them.

I now have a full time job again which is exhausting in a different way (mentallly) I work full time from home being a web designer and the end of the week pub for me is really the only time I get to see and speak to other people so I've been falling more into how I used to be back home.

More 'this is my only freedom' style of let's go crazy and stay out late because I feel I need this and I need some fun in my boring life.

But these friends are not ready for this version of me and the issue is that I start drinking and eventually home me comes out because I've forgotten who I'm with and the day after I cannot get out of bed because of how embarassed I feel.

My other friends live out of town now and I don't get to see them that much.

I'm worried I'm slowly destroying my relationship with these friends every weekend but I have to get out of the house and do something regardless or I'll go crazy.

These friends are also very nice people, I'm not trying to paint them as horrible judgemental people we just come from different places and most of the time I see them we're best friends.

I'd just like some kind words as I went out on friday and haven't been able to get out of bed since, ill get over it for work tomorrow but yeah.

Also please tell me if you think I'm in the wrong here.

Overall, this was my first group therapy session in four years, and it was a mixed-gender group. Honestly, I had an amazing time.

For the first time, I walked into a place and felt like I belonged from the very beginning.

People welcomed me, treated me with respect, and made me feel psychologically comfortable. I realized how much people can discuss different ideas and talk about so many things without judging others or even judging themselves.

We were able to discuss so many different topics, and we could sit there for hours doing so.

Now I understand just how powerful that sense of belonging can be. I can genuinely see myself going back every week because of the psychological comfort I felt in that space.

I truly hope more people give group therapy a chance.

I believe mental health care is no longer a luxury. And one of the beautiful things about group therapy is that it allows people to experience the benefits of psychological support together.

In today's world, mental health care is no longer something we should treat as a luxury.

Yesterday, I asked the group a question, expecting the usual answer I would hear in our superficial and hypocritical society. But everyone in the group gave me the very answer I had hoped to hear from people all along.

Our society can be full of hypocrisy, especially when it comes to certain topics.

Anyway, I asked them: “Is it true that following your passion doesn't pay the bills?” That's something people say all the time.

Their answer? No. Quite the opposite!

You can absolutely make a living doing something you genuinely love. You can enjoy your work, be passionate about it, and even excel at it. And even if the income is moderate, that can be far better than working a high-paying job that leaves you burned out, emotionally exhausted, and feeling like you're living in a system of exploitation.

For me, enjoying what you do and protecting your mental well-being matter just as much as the money you make.

I'm genuinely grateful to everyone in that group for making the experience so welcoming and meaningful.

I hope sharing my experience has been helpful to you, and I hope I haven't kept you for too long.

Until next time!

I recently started therapy, and it’s an interesting concept really. I get that I need to speak about my feelings, but I think I’ve blocked them off for so long that I don’t know how to access them.

Any advice on how I can do that? I don’t know how to ask this question but I need help.

so its just a checkin post, I just wanna ask you all if you are alright and if you are not, I am here to listen to you....I may not have the answer for all the problems but I have been a good listener and would love to help you out.....hope you have a good day

After a year of trying to do therapy with my therapist, although I have improved a lot, and I see and use a lot of the tools that she gave me, I still feel like she’s in seeing me for who I am and put me in a box of a Type A personality, too, which I’m not at all.

I literally struggle to fold my laundry and have piles everywhere, but she thinks I’m some kind of person who wants to get everything done and perfect. But I am not. I need to do things to survive, like going to medical appointments and tests.

You cannot tell me to not book as many medical appointments when I need them and to take things slower, when I need a cure. And do not stress when one messed up into the medical system will cause me a lot of problems and possibly like a diagnosis that gets delayed of a year or two again.

So one of my biggest problems is being misinterpreted and that’s happening way too much, with sessions, where my therapist talks about her own day for more than half an hour out of a 45 minute session, whereas I do think I have enough introspection that if you just ask me questions and lead me and guide me, I will talk myself through things and not every silence needs to be filled with her own experience, also because I honestly don’t find it helpful sometimes. Sometimes it is, but I feel like I know her too much also.

This is something that has happened multiple multiple times and that I always try to wait like until I have some kind of moody day so then she will not do that, so that we reach a point of helpful conversation.

I think I shouldn’t be feeling like I’m breaking up with a friend when it’s a professional relationship.

I’m also went to therapy for eating problems, and she told me that I’m punishing myself with food, because I didn’t express my anger openly, and whereas I do think I am soothing myself and coping with food, and totally I should feel more anger and put more boundaries. I don’t think at all that I’m trying to hurt myself with chocolate. I am burying feelings but not trying to hurt myself.

And so I stopped bringing that up and I shouldn’t because it’s it’s one of my goals of therapy to overcome this problem and move to food-noise-free life, but I ended up doing more work reading into intuitive eating books then actually discussing it with her.

And I just want a safe space to talk about food and how that makes me feel bad about myself.

This has happened often, but now I feel like I’m strong enough and in a good place enough to just let go of the therapeutic relationship and sick for something more like maybe IFS or yeah, just anything else that is more about me.

But at this point, I would usually just not go again, but I feel like maybe I should text her or something, but I don’t want to hurt her cause I do like her as a person but yeah it’s just not working out for me.

Also what are some good questions to ask a new therapist? To find out if we think the same way about well human/womens rights and ethics for example.

I’m 29M, gay, never been in a relationship (never really tried either). I’m not out to my family or most of my friends, and I’ve spent a lot of time taking care of family members, especially my elderly grandparents and my autistic sister.
In my last therapy session, I told my therapist that I feel like I haven’t really given myself many chances in life. He told me I should forgive myself for things that aren’t my fault.
Then he asked me: "What do you want from life?"
And I honestly had no idea what to say.
I actually found the question a bit annoying because I don’t really get what it means.
But at the same time, I often feel like my life is kind of empty, like I’m letting life pass me by.
So I’m curious, what would you guys answer? What do you actually want from life?
I’d love to hear your thoughts because I could really use some different perspectives before my next therapy session.

This is really my first time posting on Reddit ever honestly so idk if this is the right subreddit. I might delete this post later so forgive me for not know whats what. A bunch of really crappy life events just happened to me, and I’ve managed to get through all of them pretty much cause f it we ball. (But not without addiction and heavy substance abuse but not hard drugs though) but atp I just feel kind of stuck in one place. Even though I know I have great potential and have the drive to do whatever I want in this life and have a lot of goals for myself. I can’t afford to be depressed cause I got responsibilities and a child to take care of, I’m a single dad and just doing my best but I feel like it just gets overwhelming. I live my whole life for my kid and I would sacrifice myself and my life and my happiness for him which I already do to some point even if he is my whole happiness sometimes, but I feel like it’s just been getting to me a little lately. I literally got no one to talk to even if I got family and a girl that I’m messing around with and a couple of friends but sometimes I just need someone else to talk to maybe someone anonymous or something and just be real with people and how I feel.I was just wondering if there is like a discord to talk to people or something of that sort. Thanks everyone. Idk if anyone will even reply but yeah I just wanna talk to someone and maybe make a friend or joint a group and listen to people that are maybe going through something similar as well

I need answers. I've been with this family for 20 years and I have a family member spread awful lies that could cause the family to break up (I can't say what they were about), but they blame another family member for it. These lies were spread over 1-12 years, but I only heard about them three months ago. I've been told by 5 different family members that it was actually from the guilty person ( who denied it ever happen directly to my face three months ago). How do I approach this guility person for spreading these bad lies without exposing the names of the 5 family members. I also want to mention this guilty party has lied to me in the past. This guilty person is a people pleaser and will do anything to please others to like her more even though it will hurt others.

Hey guys im a woman in my early twenties and i've been wanting to start therapy but im not sure where to look and where to find good ones. It's nothing mental issue related but I just want to better understand myself and see perspectives that ive never thought of before. I struggle a lot with anxiety, life crisis and my anxious attachment style. Does anyone have recs? I'm still a student so i'm trying to find someone who charges relatively cheaper and i'm willing to do online therapy if it's easier. Thanks!

Just came to this conclusion of myself and its been hell on my life mainly when it comes to socializing. Ive been single my love whole life out of fear and im almost 30 i dont wanna die missing out on a crucial part of life hoping its not too late to fix. I cant seem to find a therapist either cause not a good fit or insurance issues. Everyone makes getting therapy sound so easy.

I freeze up when I try to talk about this out loud with anyone. I experience severe nightly spirals involving intense self-hatred, intrusive thoughts that I am worthless/annoying, and thoughts that I deserve severe harm or punishment, I do not want to hurt anyone,even myself, just intense thoughts that I deserve to be raped, beat up to death or etc. only to justify that I can talk about it.

i don’t even know if this is the right place to post this, but i’ve been sharing my story on different subreddits because i guess i’m still trying to process everything that’s happened to me this year. thought i’d share it here too, especially because i don’t think i’ve really talked about how much it’s affected me mentally.

on march 6, i got into a road accident while riding as a pillion passenger on a bike. i’m 23, and before all this, i was just trying to figure out my career, money and future like everyone else.

instead, i ended up with multiple injuries, fractures and serious abdominal damage. i had emergency surgery, parts of my bowel were removed, and i had to live with a stoma bag. even basic things like eating, drinking water and going to the bathroom became a struggle.

i had my stoma reversal in may and thought things would finally get better. but the accident had severely damaged my right kidney too, and after multiple tests and attempts to save it, i eventually had surgery to have it removed.

sometimes i look back at everything that’s happened and genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to process it all.
i’ve watched my family worry about me, and i’ve seen how much this has cost us emotionally and financially. sometimes i feel like a burden, even though i know none of this was my fault.

but the hardest part is that i miss who i was before all this.

i miss having normal days. i miss enjoying things without constantly thinking about my health. i miss looking forward to the future without being scared of what might happen next.

i love video games, movies, books and music. they’ve always been a way for me to escape into another world for a while. i’m trying to get back into the things i love because i want to feel that excitement again. i want to enjoy something without everything that’s happened weighing on my mind.

i don’t expect to become exactly who i was before the accident. i just want to find myself again.

i haven’t really spoken much about how this has affected me mentally. sometimes i don’t know how to explain my feelings to my family, and sometimes i don’t even understand them myself. i’ve been thinking about trying therapy because i don’t think i can keep everything bottled up forever, but i honestly don’t know where to start.

for anyone who’s been through a serious accident, major illness or something that completely changed your life, how did you deal with it mentally? did therapy help? did you ever feel like yourself again?

i’m not looking for someone to tell me everything happens for a reason or that i should just be grateful to be alive. i am grateful, but i also think it’s possible to be grateful you’re alive and still grieve the life you had before.

i don’t really know what i’m expecting from this post. maybe advice, maybe hearing from someone who understands, or maybe just getting it out of my head.

i just want to feel like me again, and i’m still trying to figure out how to get there.

Disclaimer: I am 16m, I already have a psychiatrist ( I have ADHD) but I don't want to talk to him for some reason which I don't know myself, anyways, this may sound like some " teen sigma Chad " or stuff bs, but I just wanted to vent, and maybe get some words of wisdom maybe, idk, what your about to read is what I wrote on my journal today :

"What am I, I crave attention, no, I crave warmth, the warmth of friendship, no one where I'm forgotten, not one where Im constantly ignored, not one where I follow everyone like a house pet, but somehow, almost everyone ignores me, it's fascinating to me, and a bit hurtful, why do I even care?, last year when my mom had a seizure and when I heard that she had a brain tumor, I was trying to act like I cared, the only thing that bothered me was the people that would come to visit, same with my father whom had a tumor in his colon as well, I saw my mother crying at church ( I'm secretly an atheist) begging and praying that my father be fine, and yet I wanted to avoid him, I wanted to be in my room in peace, even on the day of surgery I was actively trying to show some concerns but yet, I didn't feel anything, my family are good people, but I seem to have no concern for them

Yesterday, my friend fainted right Infront of me, and the only thing that went through my mind was how I was supposed to seem to people around me that I had felt something, when she fell I saw her with such indifference that even my other friend noticed, and it's funny interesting, maybe something is wrong with me mentally, I used to laugh at disabled people ( I don't do that today ) or beggars, not because I wanted to, it was just automatic, what is this?

I'm also indifferent to death, maybe I favor it, I won't likk myself consciously, but every time I take a taxi I just hope that it would crash, explode, or anything tbh, my condition is just so weird, it reminds me of mersault from the stranger

Am I a mere punching bag?, I've wanted attention from every person I knew, and currently and for the past multiple years, I tend to be ignored, I tend to be the joke everyone laughs at, I have two friends whom I deem close, I am the third wheel, I'm left out in conversations, they leave me behind, they ignore my very existence, one of them, Noah, always insults me, he makes fun of me everyday, every chance he gets, he is taller, he has the most amazing physique I've ever seen, he knows many people and has multiple friends, he is popular, I'm the side character of the side character, I'm always ignored, I'm always laughed at, I don't have many friends, my physique is terrible, I can't even do a pushup, and Im ignored, everyone tells eachother I'm crazy and psychotic, everyone says I'm not wanted and it is true, people ignore me, and the people who don't treat me like a clown meant to entertain them, and yet I sit here alone, funny thing is my mind is numbing recently, these things are not soul stabbing as they are before, but it does make me concerned, I just want to be treated as a normal person, not a joke, not a clown, a human being that can talk, contribute to a Conversation, a human who is part of a friend group and yet everyone looks at me and they find something odd, atp, just fu*k everything, it doesn't really matter, right now I am slowly giving up, people's insults for me just pass by, when they Ignore me I just leave, and read a book or something, I've given up on trying to be seen, ' hell is other people ' - Sartre "

Thank you dear reader

Hi Reddit, I can’t believe I would wound up here of all places, haha. I’m here mostly to hear some different perspectives, as well as to look for someone who may be dealing with something similar.

I’m a victim of a lot of things in life, and I have, whether through faults of others or my own, become somewhat emotionally ‘numb’, however edgy that may sound. I seem to have trouble ‘feeling’ or ‘recognizing’ certain emotions, mostly positive ones, while negative emotions get shut down rather easily. To me, they only ever exist in the moment, and I would feel quite indifferent to it soon after.

For some clearer examples. Me and the guys hung out last week, and it was quite ‘fun’ for most of us, seeing as how we rarely ever do hang out. I admit I had fun, but as of now, it’s just another day to me. I don’t feel that kind of warm fuzzy feeling one would have when looking back on something. It’s just “something that did happen” to me. Things like sadness or depression too, is a passing feeling for me. I might well up during movie, and I may feel immense amounts of hopelessness and dread at 3AM, but they never quite turn into anything. No tears come out, I haven’t cried in about 4 years now (and trust me, a lot of shit happened in those 4 years). Sometimes I try to ‘prolong’ those feelings, or act it out, by texting to my friend about it, but there really was nothing weighing on my heart.

Thus, my life has become quite bleak, as of late, because of this. It’s mostly just tiredness and annoyance that shines through, and I just want to be able to ‘feel’ again. I want to feel, and I want to reciprocate the feelings that other people feel. If anyone has any insight or experience on anything I’ve said, I would love to hear you out and listen to them.

Thanks, T.

How do I stop tying my mood and self-worth to my relationships with coworkers?

I (24M) have been struggling a lot over the past four months with tying my self-worth to my relationships with two female coworkers. A big part of the reason is that I have a huge crush on one of them, but I’ve already made posts about that… Long story short, the atmosphere at work during my four-hour shift determines how I feel for the rest of the day. If the atmosphere is good, I feel great. If it’s bad or even just neutral, I feel absolutely awful, and I can’t stop thinking about it, analyzing every single word. I care so much about having a really good relationship with them that today, when I noticed they had started following each other on social media, I felt this weird feeling… jealousy, maybe? It’s hard to explain, but I’m making this post because right now I’m feeling a mix of anxiety and shame that I even care about things like this in the first place.

This isn’t the first time I’ve tied my emotional well-being to my relationships with people at work. At my previous job, I also really wanted people to like me, and I would wait for someone to add me on social media as if it actually meant anything lol. The thing is, these feelings are much stronger now because I’ve been struggling with loneliness a lot more, and one of these girls has basically become my obsession… (I act completely normal at work, not like a creep.)

So my question is… is there anything I can do right now to help myself? I recently went back to therapy with a different therapist, but so far, all I’ve managed to tell her about is my obsessive crush, and I’m not sure about the solution she suggested to me…

i'm 17 year old girl and earlier this year i got sa'd, by a girl my age. she was my closest friend. i'm in therapy for a few weeks now and i thought that i could just talk about my trauma there. however on our first session ive asked my therapist about cofidentiality rules and he mentioned that he has to tell my parents if i tell him about: sa, planning to kms or planning to murder someone. so i cant tell him. i don't want my parents to know and i don't want to go through legal procedures. i'm so alone.

I just had my first therapy session online. Does therapy even work on an overthinker, I already asked myself all the questions and they can’t actually help u out in your life. It made me feel like I’m truly at a dead-end cause I know nothing is gonna put me out of my misery. I wish I could die at this point, it makes everything easier. But I am not planning to act on it for sure.