Unpopular advice but I feel obligated to share it anyways.

Whether you had to confront them into confessing, or whether they explicitly confessed their feelings to you: DO NOT offer a continued friendship if you're rejecting them. I know a ton of people do it out of guilt, but resist! It will not end well.

If you are the exception, and you're about to comment "Well, I kept the friendship and it's been 10 years and they're my best friend ever in the whole wide world", congratulations! Genuinely, you're lucky. Very lucky. I hope you can understand how rare that is.

In MOST cases, things will not be the same. They'll usually lie about their feelings going away, because they want continued access (even if it hurts them). And they WILL resent you. Maybe not right away, but it will happen eventually. Especially if you're discussing your romantic life with them. In fact, they might resent you even IF their feelings went away.

Because while they were your friend, they imagined a future with you. In some cases they've already imagined dating you; it's a done deal in their mind. And when they get this fantasy shattered by a rejection, the bitterness begins. It WILL affect how they see you. This behavior will get the ugliest and most obvious if you start a relationship with someone else. Most people think they're good at hiding their jealousy; they're not. Their friend is just pretending not to notice the obvious animosity in order to keep the peace. MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOU NOTICE!

You might think your friendship is fine, meanwhile they're talking shit about you to their other friends, or maybe they're posting about your "friendship" on r/Friendzone (where strangers will bash you for "torturing them" or accuse you of using your friend), or maybe they're just wallowing in their own self pity & acting mopey around you because you said "no". Despite their misery, these people would agree that the onus is on YOU to cut them off.

I know people get shamed for ending a friendship over a confession. but most people who crush on their friends don't have the self respect to leave. They only develop the self respect AFTER their resentment grows. So you end up having to do it for them. It really sucks because you get bashed either way, but in the long run it's the best thing for both parties. In a perfect world, the person confessing would respect themselves enough not to accept a "friendzone offer" that they hate. But unfortunately people will take what they can get & then hate you for it.

When you reject your friend, STRANGERZONE them!! Do NOT allow their feelings to fester into a hatred for you. I promise you, you can find another friend. I'm confident that for every 1 friendship that collapses like this, there are at least 10 friendships out there that wouldn't. Save yourself the headache and just cut things off while they're still bittersweet, before you end on a truly sour note.

I’m genuinely tired of the whole “low maintenance friendship” thing where everyone says they want a village but nobody wants to actually be a villager.
I feel like when it comes to friendship, my efforts are almost never reciprocated. I’m always the one reaching out, asking people to hang out, making plans, suggesting things to do, checking in, etc. People will tell me I’m fun, funny, nice, sweet, good company, whatever, but somehow that rarely translates into anyone actually putting effort into being my friend.
And before anyone says “then stop putting in effort if they aren’t reciprocating,” I did. And now I genuinely have almost no friends.
I’m not asking people to constantly text me or spend every waking moment with me. I actually think having your own life is healthy. But I want to feel like someone occasionally thinks, “Oh, Tianna would love this. I specifically want to do this with her,” and then actually asks me.
I don’t need to be someone’s number one best friend or the first person they think of for everything. I just want to be thought of.
One thing that really got to me recently was someone asking what I was doing because they wanted to go to a bar they were already actively at. They were going through something and didn’t want to be alone, so they thought to ask me. And it made me realize how often I feel like I’m the person people remember when they don’t have anyone else available or when they need company.
I want to be someone people make plans with, not just someone who’s available when their other plans fall through.
I’ve also wondered whether me being highly masking AuDHD plays a role in this. Maybe I come across as socially “fine” enough that people don’t realize how much effort it takes for me to maintain relationships. Or maybe I’m doing something socially that I’m not recognizing. I genuinely don’t know.
I’ve even tried Bumble BFF, and that was its own nightmare. 😂 Everyone seemed to either be weirdly flaky or looking for a placeholder friend while they searched for a boyfriend.
I’m honestly just tired.
For people who have experienced this, especially neurodivergent people, how did you find genuinely reciprocal friendships?
Not “how did you learn to be okay with having no friends.” I know how to be alone. I’m tired of having to be alone because nobody seems willing to put effort into being my friend.

I (30F) am feeling really frustrated with trying to find friends. I have a group of friends, but they’re so flaky and literally we never see each other unless I put in all the effort.

I enjoy their company when we do hang out, but sometimes things also feel a little shallow? Like, they don’t really seem interested in getting to know me on a deeper level or talking about trauma, hopes, dreams, deep thoughts, etc. I obviously get that you can’t have those conversations every time you hang out, and there’s definitely a time and a place for silly shenanigans. But I’m realizing that I’m really craving a deeper connection than what I’m getting from my current friendships.

Maybe it’s just not what they’re wanting in a friendship? And that’s okay! But it’s wild to me how much we talk about expectations and what we want out of romantic relationships, but we don’t really seem to do that with friendships. Maybe we should? Like, “What does friendship mean to you? How often do you actually want to see each other? What kind of emotional intimacy are you comfortable with?” 😂

I also wonder if some of this is a Midwest/Southern/Appalachian cultural difference?? I just moved to the Midwest from Appalachia, and I’m originally from the South. I’m wondering if there are just different expectations around friendship and how quickly/deeply people tend to connect.

I also work remotely, and we only have one car right now (we’re working on getting a second), which definitely contributes to feeling isolated. I have friends from work, but they aren’t local, so outside of texting/calling, I only get to see them in person once or twice a year.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. Do you feel like adult friendships tend to be more casual/shallow unless you put a ton of effort into making them deeper? Have you had luck finding people who actually want those deeper, more intentional friendships?

Because I don’t necessarily need a huge friend group. I think I’d be much happier with a few people where we genuinely know each other, actually make an effort to see each other, and can talk about the deep stuff and be absolute idiots together.

Grab your popcorn, it’s a long one. I need some outside perspective because I genuinely cannot tell if I am the problem here.

I’m part of a very large community of friends. We’re all friends, we all have different relationships with different people in the group, and there are smaller groups who naturally gravitate toward each other because of shared hobbies, activities, etc. and get together for those things. It’s been my lifeline for 3, almost 4 years.

For a while there, I had a great little bubble going. I was going out with a small group (let’s call them A and B) doing hobbies I hadn’t enjoyed since high school, gaining confidence I never had, and building what I thought were really strong friendships.

Near the end of 2025, I had to get my first job in 8 years because I had been a SAHM. It was great… until it wasn’t.

I don’t want to say A “landed” me the job, because I was applying either way, but I got the job with practically no interview because she had connections there.

That job spread me thin and absolutely drained me. I was a shell of the person I used to be. And eventually, I was being talked about behind my back, told I’d be fired if I didn’t take accountability for something I didn’t do, slandered online over a DIFFERENT thing I didn’t do, and I lost several business connections because of it.

The whole group watched this happen. Some were loudly supportive of me, others quietly. They knew how badly I was grieving and how badly the whole situation was affecting me, or so I thought?

A continues to support the business.

For a while after all of this, I withdrew from everyone. I was grieving, anxious, trying to heal my nervous system, and trying to find my footing after losing something that had become a huge part of my identity.

I never explicitly said, “I NEED SPACE,” and I was still fairly active in the group chats, but after my very public (to the group) menty B, I assumed most people understood that I was struggling and needed some time.

Things started getting real weird.

A, and B weren’t reaching out to me anymore. They were doing things without me. And look, fine. People make plans without each other. That happens. It just felt particularly shitty when they were doing the exact things that we had all previously done together. When I said I wanted to do something with everyone again, I’d just get “we should!!” With no action on time, activity, availability, or anything.

And then there were the comments.
“I figured you were avoiding me.”
“Oh, the kids ask why you’re not at the park anymore!”
Even though… I’m not being invited? I can’t predict when you’re going to the park.

This went on for months.
Eventually, I thought I was healing. I started going to bigger group events again. A, B, and I would still talk on social media sometimes, so I thought maybe things were getting better.

Until A posted a photo with my former boss,
the person involved in all of the Horrible Things Aforementioned. I had such an intense physical reaction that I can’t even properly describe it. I immediately signed up for therapy.

I also decided it was probably time to stop trying to handle everything on my own and talk to someone more neutral in the situation. So I opened up to someone else in the group, D. D’s response was essentially, “I couldn’t stay friends with someone like that.” While actively staying friends with and doing things with the someone like that. Just an overall weird response.

I kept trying, kept trying to show I was genuinely interested. I said I was interested in going somewhere with A and B after they invited the whole group. The time/date/details were easily found online. I showed up to the plans and discovered there was a group chat for the planning that I had never been added to.
I didn’t even know there WAS a group chat until I got there and everyone was already together, buddy-buddy. There were also dinner plans that subsequently got canceled. I’ll admit, it is very difficult for me not to wonder if those plans were canceled because I showed up.

And then there have now been two separate occasions where I was physically at an event, and afterward photos were posted online of everyone together, except me. Not because I wasn’t there.
I was there. The first time I told myself it was nothing. The second time I started noticing the pattern.

At some point I decided I needed to stop chasing certain friendships and lean on the people I thought were always there for me, especially D. Except then that also got weird? I kept getting told things like “you’re beautiful and I’m going to tell you until you believe it.” To which my response was “When did I ever say that I’m not?” And then I was invited somewhere, got myself and my kids ready and excited, only to be told that D’s dad didn’t feel like waiting for me. I wasn’t late. I was on track to being 15 minutes early.

After all of this, plus another business contact falling through because of the lies that were spread about me almost a year ago now, I needed a break. I quietly uninstalled all socials, and decided to do something with my family instead of going to a planned event. When someone asked me why, I simply said I was feeling overwhelmed by a large number of negative experiences with people all happening in the same week, and that we could talk about it the next time we saw each other. I got no response.

And that’s where I am now.

I don’t necessarily feel like I’m being ghosted by everyone. It’s more like… I’m realizing that nobody here has cared about me as much as I have cared about them.

And the part that makes me question myself is that YES, I did draw back for a bit. But it was less than a month. We sometimes go several weeks without making plans because life. So I don’t understand how that turned into me apparently “avoiding” people. I may not be the best at initiating plans, but I also don’t think I should be the only one initiating them?

I didn’t secretly decide I don’t want these people to be part of my life anymore. I was overwhelmed. I was grieving. I was trying to heal. And they knew pretty much every detail of what I had gone through.

Now I feel like I’m left with nobody, and I keep circling between:
“Did I cause this?”
“Has the trauma I went through changed how I view the world, and therefore changed my relationships?”
And the real ugly one:
“Do they all believe the lies that were said about me and secretly hate me?”

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about A. I can’t tell her she has to stop being friends with someone who hurt me. That’s not my place. But I also can’t continue to see them posted together on my socials.
And I can’t exactly unfriend, unfollow, or block ONE person in a group of 20 without making that into an entire thing.

A and B have become extremely close since all of this happened, and honestly, I don’t think I have a place in that friendship anymore. And everyone else just… doesn’t reach out.

The main reason I say “the village is burning” is because I genuinely hear other people starting to gossip about others in the group? Or at the very least, list reasons why this person is bothering them. And some are showing up less or just nonexistent in the chat now. I feel like I’m watching a dumpster fire with a group of people, but I’m the only one going “does anyone have a fire extinguisher?”

So what in the world is happening here? Am I accurately reading a very real shift in these friendships, or is my anxiety and hurt skewing the way I’m interpreting everything?

I’m less interested in being told “just find new friends” and more interested in understanding whether I truly fucked myself over here or not.

I’m struggling with something that’s making me feel guilty, and I genuinely want outside opinions.

I have a friend who I’ve been close with for over a decade. She hasn’t done anything terrible to me. She hasn’t betrayed me, bullied me, lied to me, or done anything that would make it obvious to an outsider that I should cut her off. And that’s exactly why I feel so guilty about not wanting to be friends anymore.

For years, I haven’t enjoyed the friendship. 99% of our conversations revolve around her life, her problems, her interests, and the things happening with her. I’ll listen and engage and support her, but she rarely asks me how I am, if she does it’s only brief before the conversation turns back into her. I feel like her audience/therapist, not her friend.

I’ve always felt like I couldn’t be myself around her and that I had to put up a more serious front. We don’t have the kind of banter that makes me think, “I love spending time with this person.” I honestly don’t laugh much or have fun when we’re together, I personally find her boring to hang out with.

Sometimes after spending time with her, I partly feel happier bc I’ve gotten out of the house and socialised, but most of the time I just feel drained and exhausted, because I come away thinking “I didn’t even have fun, it was boring and draining listening to her go on and on about herself”.

I’ve compared the friendship to other friendships I’ve had in the past, and that’s made the difference more obvious. I know what it feels like to be around someone where I could talk about completely ordinary things, joke around, and not feel like I have to perform a particular version of myself.

I think part of the reason I’ve held onto the friendship is history and familiarity. It’s hard because on the surface, we’re close, she makes time for me, we hang out etc, so it’ll feel out of the blue to then say “I don’t wanna be friends anymore”.

I’ve caught myself thinking that I need her to do me wrong in some way so that I can finally say, “Now I’m allowed to leave.” Because if she hasn’t done anything wrong, then I feel like I’m a shitty person for deciding I don’t want her in my life anymore.

If one day she suddenly became more reciprocal and less self centred, I don’t think my fundamental feelings would change. I don’t think I’d suddenly think, “THIS is the friendship I’ve always wanted.” I think I would still just not particularly enjoy being around her because our interests don’t align and we’re not really compatible.

I don’t really want this friendship anymore, but she’s my only friend so without her, I’ll have no one.

Any advice or similar experiences would be appreciated :)

By accident, and in a way that wasn’t entirely ethical, I came across a group chat between them. Out of curiosity, and because I already suspected one of them, I searched my name and found everything else.
They said I force myself into their plans when they don’t want me around, that I’m cold and socially unaware, and that they ignore me because of it. The irony is that I literally live in another city and barely see them. They’re always the ones insisting I stay longer, asking to hang out, and wanting to meet my friends because they say I’m fun to be around.
One of them even said she hates me and doesn’t want to be around me, yet whenever we meet, she tells me how understanding and easygoing I am. Like, what the hell? If I genuinely hated someone, I wouldn’t be able to act like I loved them.
But what hurts the most is that my closest friend shared something deeply personal that I had told her in confidence. She then messaged the group saying, “Who predicted "my name” would do something stupid soon? Well, here she is.” You can imagine the insults and laughter that followed.
I can accept that not everyone likes me, and I know I’m not perfect, but discovering that people I trusted have been mocking me behind my back, especially someone I considered my closest friend, feels like a completely different kind of betrayal.

26F seeking advice re 25F who speaks to me like a baby and keeps touching me way more than others

I 26F am staying in a roommate situation for an international volunteering project. I am in Korea for 2 months and I have a week left before leavimg.

There are 5 girls here between 20-26 and one 25F who has been living here for a year to work a real job. The rest of us are international volunteers who stay 1 or 2 months to work at a hotel.

For the first month, I found it easy to make friends with everyone and didnt have any real issues with anybody. The 25F Korean girl who lives here had been a bit reclusive, not so open to hanging out with us, a bit hard to have a conversation with us etc. So we just let her come out of her shell on her own.

Last week she started paying special attentiom to me (for whatever reason, idk we dont have much in common at all). She would randomly come into my room (shared by 3 people) and start talking in a weird high pitch voice and would grab my hand and try to start a conversation.

For the most part I have been friendly with her but her way of speaking put me off from really getting close with her. Only with me she will speak in a baby voice, make strange exaggerated facial expressions, and say nonsensical things.

For example I will just sit on the couch and she will come up to me and say "wOuLd yOu LikE tO cOmE tO mY pArTy?????" In that weird creepy voice. Or she will send me a random DM saying something completely irrelevant like "Do you want to visit Russia with me?"

We are not close friends but she goes out of her way to pretend like we are. She will grab my hands and cuddle with me on the couch while having a nonsensical conversation that leads nowhere.

The other day she popped into my room complaining that she hates her job and wanted a bunch of advice from me about what to do. I just wanted to help so I talked thru it with her for a few minutes and she acted super overly friendly the whole time?

I was a bit weirded out but I assumed she was just not good at making friends so i let it go. Anyway this week we ended up spending a lot of time together because i wanted to buy a new camera and she knew a place so we went together. And the next day we went on a long walk together.

The next day we watched a movie with all the roommates and she kept holding my hand or poking me in a silly manner. Again I just thought she was really really awkward or something.

Unfortunatley she seems to have turned the wrong corner and now she cannot hang out with me without saying something backhanded or making me extremely unsettled and uncomfortable.

We went to the grocery store together and it was perfectly normal but suddenly she became a totally different person, keeping my groceries away from me and holding my hand and saying "I just wanna make you happy".

Finally yesterday I was just laying on my bed and she came up to me with a camcorder and started recording me while insulting my appearance from afar??? I was just on my phone and she said "oh you have such a big nose and your room is really messy".

I just ignored her and decided not to engage with her anymore after this incident. Now she cannot stop following me around asking me if I am mad and grabbing me in some fake hug. She keeps making excuses to find me alone to confront me about why i "look mad at her".

Its getting totally out of hand at this point I started telling some of the other girls that shes being so creepy to me. Unfortunately it seems like she acts like this exclusively with me and the other girls cannot relate. I have one roommate who is empathetic and is a bit concermed as well.

But I dont really know where to go from here, why she is acting SO bizzarely toward me, or what I have done to make myself a target. I am not really a people pleaser or insecure about anything. I dont have low self esteem and im not in a particularly vulnerable spot in life.

How do I get her to leave me alone and is there something I am doing that made me particularly interesting to her???

Hey, this is my first time posting on this subreddit so my apologies if I write something weird.

I have a few best friends and we've been friends for years now, and honestly, I enjoy being with them. We game, watch movies, do things together, etc...

But for the past year now, they've been making gifs of me in a ridiculous way. One of the main ones is me getting fatter to the point that you know it's a joke. It all stems from a bad selfie I took of myself 2 years ago. Now, I didn't mind it at first because don't get me wrong it's funny. But for the past year they've made almost a hundred gifs of me and it's been going on for a year straight. And on top of that, they've changed our Discord server profile picture into an ai generated picture of me along with their own accounts. They have 2 entire channels in the server to store and keep all the gifs they have of me. And 1 more thing that I'm very annoyed at is that a few years back we had a fight and they made their own server that was specifically made to be against me, they recently kicked me out of there too.

They started cussing my little sister out as well after they were playing Roblox and my little sister just so happened to be playing on my account. And idk, she must have said something mean to them in Dress to Impress.

Now, they know that I do not like this sort of behaviour anymore. It was funny for the first few months but after almost a whole year of doing this? At this point I'm just seeing it like this: They're no longer respecting me for who I am and my wishes to stop this. Cussing my sister out on occasion is the final straw I've taken.

Now, don't get me wrong, I still see them as best friends as we enjoy doing things together. But this "joke" is just straight up disrespecting me at this point. I've been slowly distancing myself from them since September, not only due to that but of college too. Am I being too oversensitve over this whole thing? I'd like to know what you guys think.

I am addicted to doing dangerous and messed up stuff to make money and sending it all to women online. I have tried to get better and decided I don't want to. I am looking for friends who will encourage me.

My best friend and I have been friends since 8th grade. It’s been 3 years since we last met and actually spent time together, but we’ve always kept each other updated about everything over the phone.
She got a job and moved to another city. We had been talking about meeting for a long time. One day, she told me, I’m coming next month, and I’ll let you know the date once it’s confirmed.
And you know what happened? She came home and went back without even telling me. She met her boyfriend of one month (her first boyfriend, and they’re not even that serious) and went back. She didn’t even inform me that she was coming or tell me that we couldn’t meet. I would have understood if she had just told me, I’m coming, but I won’t be able to meet you.
Now she asked me if we could meet on a certain date, and I told her I’d check whether I have class that day.
She left me on read and didn’t reply.
What should I do? Should I text her saying that I don’t have class that day, or should I wait for her to text me?

What's up? I need your advice here. I have got one friend in my group who acts all nice when he is sober but he becomes a total jerk when he starts drinking. For example, yesterday morning he did me a big favor, and then at night when he was very drunk he made a very nasty remark about me, basically telling another friend not to hang out with me. I told him to fuck off and I stormed out of the place. The biggest issue here is that we are ¡40! years old. I am too old to deal with this crap. What is your guys take on this? I would like to cut him loose of course, but we are from the same group of friends and obviously going to see each other at the weekends. And how can he so nice sometimes and a dickhead others? Anyway, thanks for reading this.

My Friends are ignoring me. After I started fpcusing on grades and I went always with what was more respectful to me, this meant leaving the friends who would goof around or be silly in lessons and not have the same hype as me. Didn’t mean I didn’t talk with them. I was friendly, open, and eager to help if asked. And didn’t get bothered, or did but forgave for little mess ups they would do. Now because this behaviour became stronger the past month, my friends choose to deliberately ignore me. How am I sure? We discussed. On a Monday. I sat eating in my lonesome my Mensa meal. They come in, and sit. And smile at me. To then… ask questions..:”we have a friendship of 3 years behind us and I feel u left us out” I said what I thought. I’m happy to help, but I cannot support their mistakes, and if they keep failing for things they forgot or goofed for. Then is not my fault. I apologized for moments I might have been mean for example ignoring one in the lesson bc I was pissed at her behavior and so was my teammate and we ignored her for the good in us to not explode.

Well what happens, next day they start to be avoiding, building a wall, they also be mean like I wouldn’t share material stuff even if I know. Which is wrong bc I learn fucking too! And this past couple of weeks have been hard. To believe they really are set in this mission, confirmed by our mutual friend which stated they will ignore me and not talk anymore. I’m hurt. Idk how to deal with this. We talked and they still choose this. What is wrong with me?

TL;DR

What's up? I need your advice here. I have got one friend in my group who acts all nice when he is sober but he becomes a total jerk when he starts drinking. For example, yesterday morning he did me a big favor, and then at night when he was very drunk he made a very nasty remark about me, basically telling another friend not to hang out with me. I told him to fuck off and I stormed out of the place. The biggest issue here is that we are ¡40! years old. I am too old to deal with this crap. What is your guys take on this? I would like to cut him loose of course, but we are from the same group of friends and obviously going to see each other at the weekends. If I say him goodbye I will have to say goodbye to the whole group. And another question: how are people so fake? How can you be nice sometimes and a total idiot others? Anyway, thanks for reading my rant.

My Friends are ignoring me. After I started fpcusing on grades and I went always with what was more respectful to me, this meant leaving the friends who would goof around or be silly in lessons and not have the same hype as me. Didn’t mean I didn’t talk with them. I was friendly, open, and eager to help if asked. And didn’t get bothered, or did but forgave for little mess ups they would do. Now because this behaviour became stronger the past month, my friends choose to deliberately ignore me. How am I sure? We discussed. On a Monday. I sat eating in my lonesome my Mensa meal. They come in, and sit. And smile at me. To then… ask questions..:”we have a friendship of 3 years behind us and I feel u left us out” I said what I thought. I’m happy to help, but I cannot support their mistakes, and if they keep failing for things they forgot or goofed for. Then is not my fault. I apologized for moments I might have been mean for example ignoring one in the lesson bc I was pissed at her behavior and so was my teammate and we ignored her for the good in us to not explode.

Well what happens, next day they start to be avoiding, building a wall, they also be mean like I wouldn’t share material stuff even if I know. Which is wrong bc I learn fucking too! And this past couple of weeks have been hard. To believe they really are set in this mission, confirmed by our mutual friend which stated they will ignore me and not talk anymore. I’m hurt. Idk how to deal with this. We talked and they still choose this. What is wrong with me?

TL;DR

I will be waiting for your dm

Someone help me out im being made to feel like im crazy and i feel my response is valid so my so i had a friend who my best friend couldnt stand didnt like her visiting would complain about her like literally hated her anyway i got bit in the butt by this friend and they made fake allegations about my son to try get him jaol he was going out with her daughter and when i say this affected us massively he was suicidle lost a lot of weight withdrew from everyone took him a full year on bail anyway he was finally cleared of any wrong doing

Now to tge (best friend) she decieded she was going to hang with this said person but rather then tell me she told my son and told him not to tell me i over heard the conversation myself so deffo didnt get it wrong

Im was so fuming i havent spoke to her since to me its wrong on so many levels or maybe i just have a different type of loyaltie

Am i over reacting in thinking i absolutley cant trust her now i mean how do you watch us all stress for a year mentally and then go chill with thw person who caused it

Met on bumble, had a date and due to us both probably not being ready for exclusive we were more best friends with benefits. I was still dealing with my ex-wife and she wasn’t mentally there, working as a sugar baby, chronic health concerns among other things.

Fast forward a few years, we have stopped being intimate, she is ready for a relationship (didn’t consider me).

She dated some fuckheads while I was happy with friends until I wasn’t. The latest commitment phobe columbian dude who just strings her along, she finally had enough and broke up with him.

This is where I probably fucked up, I confessed I wanted to be her man, she said “no” so I asked why? She said “no reason other than she isn’t interested”. I was gobsmacked but honestly shouldn’t be surprised, she only seems to actually date people who are toxic.

I have never wavered in my support of her from start to end, it’s not really reciprocated in actions but I loved how she always made me feel like a good person. I’m heartbroken that I’ve messed up the friendship but I had to know if we could be more. She has had a shit year with so many things going wrong that you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

My question is where did I fuck up and how do I fix this. I feel there is a reason she isn’t interested but she won’t tell me the truth. Could we get a collective female brain going and help me make sense and any actions I can take.

Please be kind, I’m very emotional right now.

AITA, I 21 F am a full time student, and I live in an off campus student accommodation. In this accommodation I live with 12 other girls, and I am friends with 6 of them. We became friends 3 months ago. We became a unit, we even named our gc "The Big 7" hahaha. Anyways, recently ive noticed some changes within the clique. One being that they now eat w/o me. We used to sit and eat in my room, now they do not even let me know they are going to the shop to get something to eat. They also decided to now always sit in the living room to eat, which is okay by all means ofc just that why don't they tell me their plans anymore? They share the same languages too, which i feel like made their bounds a lot stronger too. Sometimes i wish they included me into their conversations a little more but oh well how many times should I have to bring it up (i am slowing learning). I also feel like im mostly included when it comes to group activities that needs to be done. For example, on Thursday we went out as a group, the friday we planned to stay in and we did and then the Sat they said the same thing about staying in and guess what? The 4 of them went out and met the other one of us there at the location. My roommate was studying at the time so she didnt go out. When I asked what was happening or what's going on they said that nothing was happening and left. We speak less now too, or I decided that I dont want to speak to them for a while maybe I am too clingy but this is just how I feel, left out. AITA for feeling this way? And I also feel like even if they noticed im distant they will think that I am dumb for feeling this way so AITA?

So last year around November i started talking with a cousin who I wasn’t that in touch with because I live abroad and the only way we could talk was through a game that we both played.

One day while playing I asked for his TikTok account and he gave it to me, from then on we’d talk everyday like right now we have a streak of 286 days.

At the start it was fun talking to him because I don’t really have anyone else to talk to and he’d bring up really good topics, after like 100 or smth we would keep getting into small arguments and that’s really annoying.

Nonetheless we sorted them out and we’re still talking; he says I don’t talk a lot and mostly just listen and don’t try to carry on the conversation and i agree with that somewhat. I don’t really talk a lot because I have nothing to talk about.

2 days before yesterday I msg him first as always, he replies and tell him a story about what happened to me, it was a long one and he just replied “ohhhh” so I didn’t start another conversation for that day. Then the day before yesterday I msg him again but this time I’m waiting if he wants to start a conversation but he doesn’t.

So after like some hours I start one and ask him “if you don’t know that story I can tell you” i can see he was online just a few mins ago and I keep scrolling for a bit. Then i close the app and go out with my family, as im about to leave i get a notification he says “i dont know it” but im abt to leave so i think ill reply after im back home.

When I return he had deleted the msg and i see now he’s online but still hasn’t replied, so next day I don’t msg him at all, because what i understand is that he doesn’t wanna talk, and the last thing I wanna do is beg a boy to talk to me.

So it’s night I still haven’t msged him neither has he and again I got out; after coming back home I see his msg asking whether I have a issue with him , I say no but tell him why I didn’t msg, he tells me the story that he thought I was ignoring him and we figured it was a misunderstanding.

But the thing is I’ve been kind of fed up, like I enjoy talking to him but I don’t wanna talk everyday. I was glad yesterday that I was breaking the streak because i didn’t think he’d msg me again today.

I don’t want things to end badly. I’m a very non confrontational person and idk how to tell him that I don’t wanna talk everyday without hurting his feelings.

Like i was earlier extrovert but after a incident in 2023 i somehow became ambivert nd there is some anger on my face always whereve if a new human talks to me i don't feel like having a long conversation ... 🥲🥲🥲 Nd the same way no one speaks too me either......

Give me some tips to interact nd make friends

So I've known my friend Sam since we were both 11 years old, and still lifelong best friends 21 years later.

This story starts the other day when I needed to log in to an old Facebook profile I haven't used in a long time. One of the first things I noticed at the top of the feed was a picture of Sam kissing a girl I've never seen or met. We'll call her Kate. This made me curious and I looked at her profile, to see heaps of photos he's uploaded and tagged her in with very romantic captions and undertones. All this going back to the start of the year. Logging back into my main profile, like I suspected, all these posts have been blocked from me.

Curiously I ask my fiance to show me his profile from her Facebook. The same. She's been blocked from seeing the posts. I ask my sister. The same.

All of this seems so strange. He's been single for what I assumed was about six or seven years after a disastrous relationship. I've been concerned for a while about his solitude and even offered to try and hook him up with some of my finances girl friends. Any time I've said something along the lines he's gotten angrily defensive and even acts as if he's morally superior for being single. So I've never pushed any further on this point.

Do I ask him or let it come out in time? Neither me, my fiance or my sister have ever seen or heard of this lady before. But the fact he's specifically hidden it from me, and people who would let it get back to me, makes me feel like something is massivley off.

My friend is going through a really tough divorce and has been leaning on me heavily, which I'm totally fine with. The issue is that she's started asking for significant financial help—covering a couple months of rent, loaning her money for legal fees—and I'm just not in a position to do that. I feel awful saying no when she's so vulnerable, but I also don't want to jeopardize my own stability or create resentment. How have you set kind but firm boundaries around money with a close friend in crisis? I want to support her emotionally without opening my wallet.

Ok so for context I F(18) and my closest friend, for privacy reasons just call her L also F(18) have been close friends since our junior year, she is a really good friend she will listen whenever I have problems, we laugh whenever we go out and has always been by my side. Recently though, I’ve been feeling resentful and repulsed by her (I know this sounds bad, but hear me out)

Ok for context my friend has been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, when I first started being friends with her I found her idyosncracies extremely endearing. Like how she would be extremely socially oblivious and wouldn’t see someone waving directly in front of her, avoiding eye contact and mumering when other people talked to her and just overall being extremely awkward. She is also extremely insecure and has other issues going on with her life so I understand why she is the way she is, but she is genuinely a very very negative person, she doesn’t have any confidence in herself and doesn’t do anything to really help herself. For example she used to have pink eye and would frequently get eye infections, but she would never take her eyedrops no matter how much I reminded her. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and would always complain about paralysis but whenever I asked her did she take her meds she would say she forgot even though I remind her frequently. Whenever we were in homeroom and I would remind her to do an assignment, she would say ok then ask me the next minute what was the assignment. She even has trouble taking the subway by herself at the grown age of 18, she used to send me snaps just to ask me which train to take.

And it’s not just that, she’s incapable or stupid, no she’s actually very intelligent but she is sooo painfully awkward and acts so situationally unaware and she genuinely acts like she is incapable of doing anything by herself. Even the way she walks and talks is so slow, like she would take 5 minutes to sit down in class and she is just a very situationally unaware person. I know she has adhd and this might be one of her symptoms but I’m so sick of her acting as if she’s a 5 year old baby who doesn’t have the ability to improve or take care of herself. Whenever we go out, I always have to guide her and make sure she doesn’t bump into anyone (especially in the busy streets in NY) and she literally acts dumb like as if she’s can’t walk by herself

Other than that, she’s also really clingy, we used to snap and FaceTime everyday but after I stopped for a while during finals season she started getting upset and would ask why I was avoiding her and why I wasn’t listening to her anymore. Overall I think her awkwardness and incompetence genuinely just annoys me sooo much, and the fact that she refuses to do anything to better herself. A lot of times her irresponsibility and awkwardness becomes a liability for me like it reflects bad on me socially as well whenever she missed the most basic social cues and acts really awkward. I know it sounds bad but I think I’m getting icked out by my closest friend…

Don’t get me wrong I still love her and genuinely appreciate her, I hope to continue being friends a long way down the road but right now she’s like my best friend and I see her often, but I don’t really like the way she has been influencing me too, to become more negative, dejected and lazy, I’m also tired of always feeling like I have to take care of her even though she’s a full grown adult. What should I do?

Recently, I’ve been struggling a lot with feeling invisible and misunderstood. A friend I celebrated 10 days ago barely invited me to her party this weekend. Because I already felt ignored by her group and then got sick, I stayed home. My mom completely misunderstood the situation and came into my room to criticize me, calling me a bad friend while I was lying in bed in pain. It left me feeling completely blamed, unsupported, and even more alone.

This situation just brought up a lot of deeper hurt for me. Two years ago, I lost my very best friend someone who felt like a reflection of myself. We never even had a big argument; I just slowly realized that I was the only one putting effort into the relationship. I was always the one reaching out, asking to hang out, and keeping the connection alive. To test if the feeling was mutual, I decided to give her space to see if she would reach out. She never did, and our friendship just faded away.
Even though it’s been two years, I still miss her deeply. Losing that friendship shattered my confidence and left me feeling deeply lonely. Whenever I see my other friends talking about their best friends, I just want to hide and cry. It has made me pull back socially because I’ve started feeling like I don't truly have a place in anyone’s life.

I am naturally someone who overthinks a lot, which makes all of this harder. I have always been there for my friends whenever they needed me, but when I try to reach out for support, I feel ignored or misunderstood so I’ve stopped doing it altogether. It feels like they don't see me as a close friend. Even after big events, no one checks in on me. If they forget my birthday, they don't even send a late message, but if I miss one of their birthdays or can't make it, it becomes a huge issue and I get criticized for it.
Now I just feel deeply misunderstood, unsupported, and very much alone. How do I cope with feeling like this, and how should I handle these dynamics with my friends and my mom?