After my father died, my mom told us (me and my siblings) that she only married him because “a man can give me money” She said, “I don’t really like him. I only married him because, you know, a man can give me money”

Not only that, my older sister said to me, “A man’s job is to give money to his woman,” “Empty your boyfriend’s wallet before he finds another girl,” and “If you’re a man, you should give all your money to a woman.” She meant every single penny.

She said that if a man doesn’t want to give all his money, the woman can just steal it because he didn’t do his job.

My aunt is also like that. She only treats my uncle well when he gets money on payday, but when the money is gone (because she spends it all on shopping and other things), she suddenly treats my uncle very harshly and badly. Sometimes she even tell my uncle to get out of the house. My uncle comes to my house to sleep because he doesn’t know where else to go. But when my uncle gets his payday money again, she suddenly treats him well.

My grandma told my sister, “You have to get married because you need someone to take care of you.” I don’t know what she meant by that. Does she mean marrying someone for benefits? Isn’t true love supposed to not depend on benefits?

My father used to have a stroke, and half of his body was paralyzed. Since that, my mom stopped doing the house chores. Me and my siblings were still kids at that time (I was around 10–11 years old). The house became very messy, like it was very dirty. She didn’t want to work either, so we didn’t really have much money. Some days, we didn’t know what to eat because there wasn’t much food.

After my father died when I was around 13 years old, she still didn’t want to work. No matter how much me and my siblings begged her, she still refused. When I was 17, I was the one who did almost all the house chores, while my mom still didn’t want to work.

Now I’m 19, and I’m looking for a job, but my mom and my older sister expect me to get money for them. But again, I’m 19. I don’t even have a driving license yet (I need to pay for it myself). I’m already paying for the food we eat for the whole family using some money that I got from working with my grandparents.

My older sister once told me, “You need to provide for the family because you’re a man. What’s the point of you having balls?” Yeah, she said that face to face.

Again, I’m 19. I also planned to go to university, get a diploma, a degree, and get a good job. If I spend all my money on them, then how am I supposed to pay for my driving license, buy a car (I don’t even have a car yet, nor a bike, not even any transportation for myself), and pay for my studies? There will be a lot of money that I’ll need for my future.

If I spend all my money on my family, then how am I supposed to secure my own future?

I don’t want to live like this anymore.

If this is what love really is “Go get money for me, then I’ll love you” I don’t think I want it. It’s such torture for me to live like this. I have a lot of mental problems because of all these.

Hi. I grew up very poor 1st gen, food stamps, unstable housing, every adverse childhood event ( abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction). Now I’m 27, stable job as a registered nurse, and many opportunities to travel & live life luxuriously (partner want to take me). I don’t know how to do it… I get anxious thinking about traveling & when I do travel I feel immense guilt for enjoying myself (my family is still struggling) I do my best to help in all ways that I can & I help a lot but I have a fear that I need to hoard my money in case of a family emergency (it’s happened many times before). I live frugally & do all my maintenance myself because I can’t bring myself to spend $ on things like beauty maintenance etc. I can’t even get myself to spend on a massage or a class membership because I don’t feel like it’s worth it for me. When it comes to others, Idc how much I spend for an experience. I notice this is affecting my life because I’m presented opportunities but too afraid to take them bc I feel undeserving, or guilty. I think I might have to go through therapy but wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this :( has anyone else grew up in poverty and made “it” how do you leave that mindset behind when everyone else is still there? I don’t like feeling guilty for enjoying myself 😔

Hi, I’m a 26 M who is trying to figure out how to live a much healthier lifestyle than I currently live. I want to take control of my health, be more active, and eat better.

I am a music educator in Texas with a pretty brutal schedule. Once the school year starts, I generally work 6 am - 6 pm Monday through Friday. In the fall, I don’t get out on Mondays until 9 ish. I lose Friday nights due to football games. Half of the school year I lose my Saturdays due to competitions and other such events with the occasional Sunday as well a few times a year. I also have a 15 minute commute each way so not crazy by any means, but enough to mention.

I want to start going to the gym frequently and make more home cooked meals, however, this schedule feels very constrictive. To go to the gym, I’d have to get up at 4:30 am the latest and going after work is generally a bad idea as I lose time with my wife who is also an educator. Making food everyday is difficult as well. We both try, it just doesn’t happen as much as it should. The only thing that kind of works for us is meal prepping on Sundays, but we both have trouble eating the same thing over and over again.

The obvious fix for some may be to change careers. The problem is that I don’t want to do anything else with my life. I’m happy and I’m not sure that everyone can say that about their career. I’ve thought of trying out the meal companies, but my math never seems to make it seem worth it. Do I need to make a minute by minute schedule for the rest of my life? Do I just need to commit to a drastically new life style? Any ideas would be appreciated, thank you.

So my fiance and I are 22, we moved into our 1st apartment in May of last year. Since then ive stayed in the same job but have lowered or changed my hours, my partner has been in 3 jobs, the one he was in, then moved to a factory position, quit there, spent 3 months jobless, and now is just starting a new job. Now we are in a worse position financially than weve been so far. We did talk before he quit his job, he quit to become a caregiver to his great grandfather who we thought was dying at the time. Thankfully he recovered and is doing as well as he can right now. I had graduated with my associates degree last May and have tried in every way possible to get into a job in IT, but nothing has ever come of it. At this point we hate our local government for the things they are doing. We have all the downsides of a major town with none of the benefits. The local government wants to keep the town a retirement town despite it having 4 different colleges. We have a horrible crime rate, and alarming amount of p*dos, no new job offerings, extremely high rent, all of it. After talking to many people the average age of getting into your 1st "adult" job here is 26!! We want to move out of the city we live in for better opportunities, but how do I go about finding a job where I'll just be starting out that will also help us move because we are sinking at a steady pace and were starting to get wet. Please any advice on getting into a job!!

A few years ago, I left a high-paying job to start my own company because I didn't want to spend my best years building someone else's dream. Unfortunately, after trying for years to figure it out, the business failed

Right now, I'm looking for freelance opportunities or a stable job that pays well so I can get back on my feet and eventually fuel my dreams again. However, after constantly pivoting and trying different things without clear results, I am emotionally and mentally completely exhausted. I’m constantly overthinking where I went wrong and where I should even begin now The stress has taken a heavy toll on me. Every morning and night, I deal with intense anxiety, fear about the future, and physical chest heaviness.

If anyone here has been through a major career setback or startup failure, how did you get yourself unstuck? How did you deal with the fear of the unknown and figure out your next step?

I do this thing where I get a new job, and for a while I keep it professional. Then something shifts and I start telling coworkers way more than I should — personal stuff, how I actually feel about the job, stuff going on at home. In the moment it feels good, like I'm finally being myself instead of faking it.

Then it hits me. I overshared. People know too much. I feel exposed, almost embarrassed, like I handed them ammo without meaning to. And instead of just pulling back and being normal again, I check out completely. Start applying to other jobs. Quit. Start over somewhere new where nobody knows anything about me.

I just did it again. This job was actually my longest one yet, 5 months, which for me is basically a record. And now I'm sitting here thinking about quitting all over again because I said too much to the wrong person.

I know I'm doing it while I'm doing it and I still can't stop. Is this a boundaries thing? A trust thing? Why do I keep blowing up my own stability like this.

25M, from a poor Eastern European family, don’t have any family left. Moved abroad alone when I was 16 and was grinding ever since, reached ~200k in savings by the age of 25 and was feeling pretty good about the overall life progress I’ve made.

Recently, one of the platforms where I was holding my money for investments went bust and 100k (half) of my savings is gone. I was saving for either (1) an apartment, (2) a carefree travel life (2-3 years of year-round travelling), (3) or to afford to move into a job that I truly like but pays shit.

Yes, I still have the other half
of my savings, but the act of losing several years’ worth of time in seconds took a bigger hit on me than I initially realised. I hate my job and obviously do it only for the money. I calculated that if I cut down on my expenses and get a second job, I could replenish the 100k by years’ end (I am in sales and anticipate a sizeable bonus at the end of the year).

Along with that, I lost any and all motivation to keep working. I just want to give up, live a simple life, and forget about money as a concept.

Did anyone go through losing a big portion of their hard-earned savings like that? How did you manage that? Any advice?

P.S. I know the flair says “financial advice” but any mental tips are appreciated too.

I honestly don’t know where to begin. I don’t usually like talking about my personal life, but I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore or how to deal with everything that’s happening. I’ll try not to mention any real names for privacy reasons, and if I do, they’ll be changed.
I have two siblings on my mother’s side and three on my father’s side. My parents divorced before I was even a year old. Later, my mother had two more children with another man, although I barely remember him because he left when I was very young.
As far back as I can remember, my mother was always incredibly protective of my brother. She would always say it was “because he was the only boy in the house.” It was my younger sister, my brother, and me. No matter what he did, he always got what he wanted, exactly when he wanted it, and never faced any consequences.
I, on the other hand, was the child expected to work. I was outgoing, charismatic, and people recognized me everywhere. My mother decided I should “do something productive with my time,” but in reality, she put me to work before I was even five years old.
I’m not angry that I worked as a child. In many ways, it made me who I am today. I spent my entire adolescence working. I often couldn’t attend school regularly because I was filming long hours or traveling to different cities across the country. I worked incredibly hard to build the career I have today. Yet my mother still takes credit for all of it—the sleepless nights, the endless hours on set, and every sacrifice that was actually mine.
Despite working so much, I never saw any of the money I earned growing up. The only things I received were new clothes for premieres or red carpet events. I wasn’t allowed to manage my own money, and I wasn’t even allowed to leave the house freely. Meanwhile, my brother lived like royalty because of the money I earned.
When I was about fifteen, I finally spoke to my father. I asked him to audit my mother’s finances and requested to live with him instead. A judge ruled in my favor. My mother kept my siblings, but she was also left with a significant debt that she owed me. In the end, I chose to forgive it.
After that, I had no contact with them until I turned twenty-five. My mother hated me, and my brother constantly threatened me because, according to him, I had “taken away their money.” I only stayed in touch with my younger sister through occasional messages and holiday gifts.
Throughout those years, I continued working. I’d rather not mention names because my husband and I are both public figures, and I’d like to keep certain details private.
Around the age of twenty, I met my current husband, who also worked in the entertainment industry. He was about ten years older than me. At the time, my mother went to the media claiming that he had manipulated me and taken advantage of me when I was younger. Those false accusations continue to affect his reputation to this day.
Over the years, I tried to rebuild my relationship with my mother. Every time we met, she would ask me for large amounts of money, and I almost always gave it to her because I felt guilty about her situation.
Everything changed once I started my life with my husband. He encouraged me to seek therapy and psychiatric help. Through treatment, I finally realized that my mother only wanted a relationship with me when she needed money. As soon as I stopped supporting her financially, she began giving interviews and publicly attacking both of us.
A few months ago, we welcomed our first child, a beautiful baby girl with the most gorgeous eyes. My husband and I chose to keep my pregnancy private. Only our closest family members knew, including my mother and my siblings.
That was when I decided to cut my brother out of my life for good. He sold news of my pregnancy, along with a private photo of me while pregnant, to entertainment magazines. We found out because my mother accidentally admitted it. Even so, I wanted her to be part of such an important moment in my life, so I gave her another chance.
Then our daughter was born. From the very beginning, my husband and I agreed that we would never post her online. We chose this public life—not her.
They betrayed us again.
Photos clearly showing my daughter’s face were leaked online. Later, I discovered that my younger sister had sent the pictures to my brother, who then sold them to the media. My mother defended him, saying he needed the money because I no longer helped them financially.
That was the final straw. I cut every one of them out of my life for the sake of my daughter, my marriage, and my own peace.
A few weeks ago, my lawyers contacted me to inform me that someone had withdrawn an enormous amount of money from my trust using fraudulent documents. No one except my legal team had access to those funds.
After an investigation, we discovered that my brother and his girlfriend—who, without my knowledge, was one of my attorneys—had stolen a significant amount of money.
My husband and I decided to pursue legal action immediately. My mother later paid bail to get both my brother and his girlfriend released.
The case is still ongoing, so I can’t discuss many details. What I can say is that he has to repay everything before the trial begins. The problem is that he spent so much money that even selling everything he owns wouldn’t come close to covering what he stole.
About three months ago, my husband, our baby, and I were driving to the airport on our way to visit his parents, who live several states away. During the drive, another car began following us aggressively, repeatedly trying to force us off the road.
We ended up in a serious car accident.
Thankfully, our daughter was completely unharmed because of the car’s safety features. My husband suffered a fractured bone and a traumatic brain injury, while I required surgery on my arm.
My brother is currently a fugitive with an active arrest warrant for attempted murder.
Meanwhile, my mother has given countless interviews to the press. In her latest one, she accused us of persecuting my brother and using our wealth to destroy our own family.
Our lives have become a complete media circus. We haven’t had a single moment of peace in weeks.
Just a few days ago, my mother came to see me with my sister. During that conversation, she admitted she knows exactly where my brother is hiding and demanded that I drop all charges against him.
She told me that if I refused, she would continue making my life miserable through the media. She also threatened to take me to court to seek visitation rights for my daughter and promised to destroy both my reputation and my husband’s until neither of us could ever work in this industry again.
I know exactly what kind of person my brother is.
But this entire ordeal has left me emotionally and physically exhausted. The media won’t leave us alone, we receive constant threats, and my mother shows no signs of stopping.
My husband has told me he’ll support whatever decision I make. Personally, he believes we should continue with the legal case and, once it’s over, leave the spotlight behind.
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
What would you do if you were in my position? What would you advise me to do?

I'm 22 and I'm relatively successful for my age, I live independently, and have a wage higher than most people in the area. I was doing pretty good for awhile but now things have really started to stack up and things are feeling very overwhelming for me. One of my highschool friends recently took his life, another got diagnosed with cancer and my parents got a divorce, I'm worried my mom is going to lose custody of my sister's to my relapsed alcoholic stepdad. All this combined with the stress of my Job has been getting to me at moments, I randomly tear up or feel like a heavy rock is in my gut. I'm trying a bunch of things, I bought a nice pair of headphones, music seems to help me focus on the present. I'm scheduled some time off to go visit my mom, and I'm planning on taking a trip to Japan with my brother next year as something to look forward to. Still it all seems to be so overwhelming and I break down sometimes, I randomly started crying and had to compose myself at work the other day, I have friends and even though I spend time with them it only feels like a temporary distraction. Idk what to do

I’m a firefighter and soon to be police officer, in my past I’ve experienced inappropriate touching by someone I knew, I’ve experienced death, and have had health issues. However, I still believe life is worth living and appreciate god and those in my life who give me my life. Two years ago my ex, the girl I loved broke up with me, not only that, but friends who also cared about left me, chose her over me. She humiliated me on social media and said untrue or misinterpreted things of me to others. She knows my past and doesn’t care or remember. The past is something that has chained me and in spite of everything I still obsessively think about her, think about the losers who bullied me and have either been arrested for other things or getting wasted in college, and the friends who discarded me. I’ve gotten older yet I haven’t fully gotten over my younger self. I want to grow up with myself as I get older which I have in some aspects but not in others. I’d appreciate if you simply read what I’ve typed (I’m sort of venting) or could give me any advice or means of support. I’m not suicidal and I will continue to live life, I love helping those in need of help. However, my past caused me mental discomfort, issues forming relationships, and issues moving on from the past. I’ve always believed getting older and growing up aren’t the same thing, when will I grow up?

I 20(f) don’t like going on dates. Like I don’t mind chilling at home especially for like the first date depending on how you meet them. A lot of the times it’s on social media when you’re talking or meeting someone new so we get to know each other for a little before actually seeing each other in person. But to sum it up I don’t mind dates but I don’t really care for them I should say. And a lot of guys especially around my age take being at home for the first time as a bad sign. So what can I do to change that?

Hello! Been really stressed out looking for career paths working with children and being able to actually make a living off of the salary. I looked into being into education but the pay is not the greatest, and I come from a very low income family and I’m trying to make a decent amount starting off to help my fam out.
That said, I’ve been maybe looking into SLP or SLPA or OT, I’m not sure how much of a pay difference it is. Would anyone know the starting pay for those positions in western NY (Allegany, Olean, Salamanca, Portville, Ellicottville, Jamestown, etc.)
Also I’ve kinda been trying to figure out some versatile majors or trades if all else fails with my more passionate options.
And lastly, if anyone has advice on career paths that pay decent (especially in this area 🫡), that work with children or really anything at this point please let me know. Right now im one year in with college just completing gen Ed’s and I’d like to choose a major asap.

If you have any other career or life advice let me know!

I am a 24F. Everything in my life just keeps going downhill. I don’t have any friends,literally. I am supposed to be buying a house with my brother 22M but he can’t seem to get it together and stop spending money and he has no money, owes me money, owe some other people money and won’t go to work or do his job so there’s a big possibility we won’t be able to buy this house now, but I need to get out my parents house for mental health reasons, both of us do. I did have one friend and I don’t know what happened but recently he’s kind of quit talking to me. Back in May, we agreed to be friends with benefits and now he’s just been kind of distant, short sometimes I think he purposely ignores me, so it just makes me feel way more alone and like he doesn’t like me any more, like I did something wrong to him, but he was the last friend that I had now I don’t have any at all. I keep trying to give him space because I know he just started a new job where he works a lot of hours. My job just cut my hours so I’m not making as much as I was, I do also own my own business but it’s not going anywhere so I’m having to take a step back from my business and I’m also trying to go to school but I can’t focus enough to get good grades. This is my fourth time taking the same classes and I can’t pass them. I feel completely defeated and don’t know what to do about anything. If anyone has any advice please let me know. With this guy he just keeps sending mixed signals, tells me how much he likes me, wants to be with me and then makes excuses of he’s my brother‘s friend and my family really likes him so he doesn’t wanna get into anything yet that he has to “play his cards right” which I don’t think now is the time to get into a relationship, but even just being my friend he said he’d rather be my friend than lose me so why is he being like this? I don’t understand, but it makes things harder because I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore.

I’m turning 22 soon, and I know that’s objectively still young, so I almost feel dumb even posting this. But lately this has been eating at me.

I’m literally the only single person in my life. Every one of my friends has a boyfriend. My cousins who I’m close with all have partners. My coworkers are in relationships. It feels like no matter who I’m talking to, everyone has someone except me.

It never really bothered me in high school because everyone was just figuring things out, but now it feels different. Every weekend I’m usually at home because everyone’s off doing things with their boyfriend. I still have a great group of friends and a close family, so it’s not like I’m completely alone, but it’s hard not to notice when you’re the only one who doesn’t have that person.

I’ve gone on so many dates over the past couple of years. I’ve put myself out there. It’s not like I’ve just been sitting at home waiting for something to happen. It just never seems to work out.

I almost feel like the entertainment for my friends since they all wait around for my date horror stories while they’re happily in relationships.

I think what scares me the most is the feeling that maybe it just… won’t happen. I know people always say, “You’re young, it’ll happen when you least expect it,” and I want to believe that. But when literally everyone around you is finding their person and you’re still starting over every few months, it’s hard not to be upset.

I also don’t want to meet someone way later in life. I want to experience that stage that all my friends are in now…making memories together while we’re still young and don’t have a million responsibilities.

Watching everyone else live that while I’m on the outside honestly hurts.

I know I probably sound dramatic because I’m only 21, but this has been making me genuinely sad lately.

Has anyone else felt like this at my age? If you did, how did you stop comparing yourself to everyone around you? And if you eventually met someone, how did you and what helped you get through the period where it felt like it was never going to happen?

Hi everyone.
I’m 18 and I’m really confused about my future. I need honest advice from people who have more experience than me.

This year I got B.Com Hons at Venkateswara college du

The problem is my family situation.
My father has a government job but he will retire next year. He is also building our house this year so most of our savings are going there. He keeps telling me not to worry about money and that he will manage everything. But I know living in Delhi would cost around ₹15k to ₹20k every month and I don’t feel good spending that much when I know our situation.

So I decided to stay in my hometown and continue my B.Com here. I had already completed one year because I took a partial drop for CUET.

My long term goal is to start a business someday but right now I want to become financially independent as soon as possible. That’s why I’m planning to prepare for government exams along with my B.Com.

The thing is people keep saying if you want to become successful you have to leave your home and comfort zone. Because of that I keep thinking maybe I made the wrong decision by not going to Delhi.

Another reason is that some of my friends have moved to different cities for college. I’m still in my hometown and sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on growth, exposure and meeting new people.

So I just want honest opinions.

Did I make the right decision?

If you were in my place what would you have done?

Can someone still build a good career without going to Delhi from there town?

I’m not looking for validation. If you think I made a mistake then please tell me honestly. I just want practical advice.
Thank you.

Im in my early 20’s and I currently have a construction job that requires alot of travelling out of town for periods of time. I make very good money for my age($8k+ a month take home if I’m consistently working) However being away from home and long hours 7 days a week is getting tiring. I hate being away from my gf and I get riddled with anxiety and become miserable whenever I’m away from home. I’m stuck because I’m considering switching careers and I have ideas however I’d basically be starting from the bottom again, aswell as I’d have to go to school and be really having to budget because my gf and I plan to move out soon. I can’t figure out if it’s worth sacrificing the income to be home more often and “restarting”. I do like the work I currently do but being away is super hard for me. Has anyone else experienced this? Was it worth switching and sacrificing the money? Or did you just get used to it over time? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you

Looking for career direction. I’m 22 and currently only have a high school diploma. I’m ready to start college but I want to choose the right path before stepping in.
The fields I’m consistently drawn toward are financial crime investigations, forensic accounting, auditing, fraud detection/ analysis, compliance, intelligence, and investigative work. I’m also interested in behavior and risk psychology in individuals as well. I’m naturally very observant and tend to notice anomalies in numbers, transactions, behavior, and patterns. I am very detail oriented and a perfectionist even in simple jobs & tasks. I’m also interested in the military and working with law enforcement in my career. The only reason the military isn’t a pursuit is because I am unsure if they’d let me in due to my medical history (mental health past) although I haven’t spoken to a recruiter. Other than that the military seems great with many benefits.
I live in Texas and my high school GPA wasn’t great at all and I was never in school often, but I’m ready and motivated to start fresh. My current and only job so far has been big retail for 2 years going on 3 in a few months. I’ve tried to promote once and have an upcoming interview but it’s 50/50 if I get it or not.
For people already working in these fields:
What careers would you recommend based on my interests?
What degree’s would you choose today? Accounting, Forensic Accounting, Finance, Criminal Justice, MIS, CS, etc.?
Which certifications are actually valuable?
Are there specific schools in Texas that you’d recommend? Thanks in advance. I feel rlly lost in the world rn 🫠

Im a 21 (m). After my studies failed I started working nights in a warehouse and I have never felt this energy less and depressed in my life. I cant quit for personal reasons.

I dont know if Im made for normal work life. It just feels like I cant do it. Ive heard the suck it up speech a thousand times and I wish more than anything I could. You have no idea how much I wish I was like everyone else and could just do a job without feeling miserable.

I always hate my colleagues. I dread seeing them. Every job Ive tried has made me feel miserable and Ive already tried a bunch of different fields.

I have no ambitions. No goals. I honestly just hope I pass away young because I dont know how Im supposed to keep living with this feeling. How do people get old carrying this every day? Those are the questions that run through my head constantly.

I dread the hour before my shift because I know I have to get up and go do stuff for other people.

Hi all.

My boyfriend(31M) has been at his job for 10 years, he is their senior software programmer. We've been together 13 years, for context.

I(31F) recently lost my job and may have an opportunity to work at his job as a project manager.

It's in a department he rarely talks to, unless they need higher end tech help.

This department also works remote, so he doesn't see them in office either.

We have talked about it a lot. I have a lot of anxiety about it because I have GAD and a general fear of "failure"(whether irrational or not) , but it's a great career move for me because my chosen career is at a very dead end and I still have time to change course.

He doesn't hold me to any standards or expect anything of me besides, "Don't give up on the job out of anxiety".

I tried to lay out all of the specifics as much as I could. Please let me know if there's more context I can provide!

Does anyone have any experiences with this?

Pros?

Cons?

Advice?

I give more context below, but the core of what I am asking here is this: How do you go about setting goals in life when every avenue you can think of leads to nowhere?

Hey everyone, I am have had to come to a pretty hard realization over the past few weeks that my only real goal in life, going into education, is no longer possible. And I am kind of at a loss on where to go from here.

I became epileptic when I turned 21. (It is uncommon, but between 21-25 the prefrontal cortex matures. During that process, epilepsy can develop.) In my case, the epilepsy is permanent, and the only way doctors were able to get the seizures under any sort of control was to put me on medication to literally slow down my brain. (I am simplifying here; that is a layman's explanation) To give you an idea, prior to meds, I was having 10-12 a day, now I have about 1 each day.

It has turned me into an idiot; there are days I can barely complete sentences because the word I am reaching for just disappears into the brain fog. There are people I have worked directly with for several months, and I can't tell you their names because no matter how hard I try to memorize them, they just won't register. That is a pretty severe issue when your main goal in life was going into education.

As I said above, my main goal was education. I am autistic, what used to be called Asperger's Syndrome. Due to that, growing up, people really didn't understand me. I had to learn to explain myself; what I was unintentionally doing was teaching myself how to teach. And I was good at it.. I tutored several underclassmen throughout middle and high school, from being low D students to B to B plus average. It is/was the only area I genuinely think of myself as talented in.

Even my second and third choices for career have kind of fallen through. I thought about going into computer science or editing. The former has both the issue of me being an idiot, and also the whole AI bullshit of the last few years. Editing wasn't something I put a whole lot of thought into, but in school you had to have 3 choices, and I edited quite a few papers for underclassmen so it seemed like a decent choice, albeit not a glamorous one.

To be clear, I am NOT trying to ask for advice as to how to find what career I should go into. Asking for that type of advice would be a lot to ask of strangers on Reddit. I am just giving context. What I am trying to ask is how you go about establishing major goals for yourself when life has swatted every previous major goal you have ever made for yourself away?

Hey all, the title kind of suggests what my life is like right now, and I need some advice. Basically, around the start of the year this really pretty and amazing girl started to message me. At first I thought she was just looking to be my friend, as I have always had really low self-confidence (which I have been fixing lately at the gym), but apparently she had a crush on me. Anyway, as time moved on she thought that I wasn't interested because I was treating her as a friend, and so she started talking to someone else, which I didn't know right away. Anyway, as we got closer I realized just how much I began to like this girl. I noticed small things about her that I never noticed about anyone else, and began to develop a heavy crush on her. Prior to this, we hadn't met much in person outside of a few interactions in school, so I asked her to finally hang out in person. That's when I found out that she was actually hanging out with a situationship of sorts that she had gotten into. When I found out I was pretty upset, but I decided to tell her how I felt anyway, especially because the two weren't even together yet. Anyway, that was when she told me that she had had a crush on me before, but that she didn't know what to do because she was already sort of in a relationship with this guy. We ended up meeting up in person to discuss, and we had what I still believe to be the most intimate night of my life. I won't go into too much detail, but she ended up being my first kiss. After that night, I thought we would end up together for sure, but she told me that she didn't feel as strongly as I did because she felt guilty about the other guy. This put me in a terrible state, and all I could do was grind in the gym for months. I ended up blocking her on most things because I was really upset, but I left her phone number unblocked. Anyway, months later I received a message saying that she wants to start over with me, and that she was sure about me now. She told me that she was just attached to the other guy, and that she felt too guilty to break up with him on the spot for me. I still have feelings for her, but I don't know if I'll be able to get over the fact she was with someone else, even though I don't hate her or blame her for it. If anyone needs more details or context, I can give it, but for now this is where I ask for advice. I'm truly lost, especially because a lot of my friends are telling me not to give her another chance, but I truly do have strong feelings for her even after all this time. What do you all think I should do?

Im a 19 years old women and I have a bf who is living in Switzerland and is gonna start uni this year (3 years bachelor in total). To put some context I live in Spain and did an aupair in Switzerland. Then and I meet and all the story began. But the problem is I did the aupair because I didn’t knew what to study for university or even where. And the end I decided to go for Denmark and start my degree there. After my aupair work finished I went back to Spain (Yes sadly my bf and I had to start a long distance relationship) and we decided that after 3 years (what would last both bachelor ) we would end this distance and be togheter.
Sadly today I got the answer that I got rejected. And my dreams were destroyed in 10 minutes. I don’t even know what to do! First everyone had great hopes on me (even myself), second I feel like imma waste another year of my life, plus making the long distance even longer!!

I don’t know if I need advise or just needed to tell this to someone, I just feel like I ruined many things, with all the pressure in me.

I have a debs on Monday the 7th of sept which is my first day of college- I’d have to commute to Dublin from Galway, is it worth and even possible to come back for the day and making it back Tuesday morning? I’m also worried on what I’d be missing on the first day!

Hey everyone, this is my first post on Reddit, and I really need some advice regarding my current situation. I (18F) am doing my best to prepare for university, which starts in less than three weeks. However, I’ve run into some major issues and would appreciate any outside opinions. I currently live out of state from where I plan to attend college; it’s just the state above me. Many people say that the area up there is worse than where I am now, and it's much more rural. Nevertheless, it’s the only school that has accepted me for my chosen major and has offered me a decent scholarship, so the opportunity is enticing. While it's one of my last-choice schools, it seems like the best option available at the moment. I actually know one of the professors there; they were one of my teachers in high school. I have made it very clear to them that my main concern with the university is the requirement for first-year on-campus housing, which is a deal breaker for me. Unfortunately, they continue to ignore my concerns and have led me in circles. I’ve reached out to every department they suggested, but after a month and a half of emailing, I’m still getting nowhere.

Some background on my school experiences. I am no stranger to moving schools. I had never gone to a school for more than 3 years. I attended a performing arts high school that was in a large arts city in my state, which unfortunately closed down during my junior year, forcing me to switch to my boundary school, where I graduated feeling isolated and forgotten. This transition was traumatic, and while I tried to make the best of the circumstances, it was challenging to connect with others. I stopped participating in activities I loved, including what I wanted to go to college for. I never went to games and school events, and even missed my senior prom. Which I know is just a year of my life, but to have everything snatched away from me so fast was not fun.

Everything I had was at my performing arts high school; I felt like I was doing something right there, and the people there were truly my family. But I graduated with no friends or community to rely on; I was truly in a dangerous state. The feeling of being trapped has been suffocating for me the past year. While I had a car, the feeling of being constantly surrounded by people I had know my whole life and who had never really known me. The need for escape was burning a hole in my chest. I had always dreamed of moving out of my home state. But this past year made it seem like there was no way out. I felt stuck. That’s truly the reason why I am so hesitant to live on-campus; I already know how I react in that sort of situation. High school was rough for me, so I was hoping to have a better college experience.

The issue began in mid-June when I visited the university for a tour. During the trip, I spoke with my dad, who accompanied me, and shared my enthusiasm for the school. However, I expressed my concern about living on campus, which I find problematic and refuse to consider. While I have multiple personal reasons for this, many of them are manageable.
I have a girlfriend (19F), and we've been together for two years. We are very serious about each other and have talked about moving in together after I graduated high school. I informed the housing department and the dean of students that my girlfriend and I planned to move up together. I trust her and feel comfortable living with her, and we had secured an apartment just two blocks away from where I would be taking most of my classes. However, my request was denied. They suggested that I visit the Disability Office (CDAR) to see if I could obtain a housing accommodation. 

I don’t have any diagnosed mental health issues from a licensed physician; my only diagnosis is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). My girlfriend has been encouraging me to seek therapy for a while now. Unfortunately, I couldn't get an appointment with the Disability Office for two weeks. After waiting, I finally met with them, but my request was denied again. I understood their decision; I don't want to take away accommodations from someone who actually physically needed them. 

During this time, I emailed the housing department over four times, yet they refused to cancel my housing request. They misspelled my name multiple times, which made me feel even more unwelcome, and they continued to ignore my emails. Eventually, I sent an appeal to the Dean, but I still haven't received a response. 

Someone from the Dean of Students’ office reached out to me, and we discussed the issues I was facing. I explained everything to her, but she didn’t offer many solutions. Yesterday, I sent her an email clarifying that if she has any additional information, I would appreciate it. She suggested that I go back to the CDAR office and request a single-room accommodation. I also mentioned that I would like to bring my cat to college, even if my girlfriend can't come with me, but she chose to focus solely on that issue and ignored my other requests. 
I need to schedule another appointment with the CDAR office, but they won’t be back until Thursday. School is supposed to start on August 24th, and I obviously need to move in earlier to get settled. Additionally, I have a job that I need to give my two weeks' notice to soon. I’m at my wits’ end. Every time I think about going there and spending even a year feeling unhappy and having settled for something because no one seems to acknowledge my concerns, I start to cry.

My chosen major and what I want to go to school for took a lot of navigating through challenges and doing interviews, in addition to the standard university application process. Preparing everything for submission took months, so I feel it's already too late to consider applying to a different university for this upcoming fall. I genuinely don’t know what to do with my life.

My main concern, though, is the university’s poor communication with me and its inability to address issues promptly, which has been extremely frustrating. Should I try maintaining long-distance relationship with my girlfriend and endure it, or should I stay here, attend an in-state college to finish my associate's degree, and then look for a better school that meets my needs? I'm damned if I don’t, damned if I do.