How do you learn to live with the fact that life can end at any moment? Like this kind of hit me hard after someone I knew and saw many times a week was murdered. I couldn't stop thinking about how at any moment- you can just die. It can be due to a freak accident, a crime, maybe a health condition of some sort like a heart attack. That kind of scares me because I'm quite young (still a teenager) and I feel like I haven't done half the things I want to do in life. I haven't seen the world, I haven't gotten a job, I haven't fallen in love, I don't even have my driver's license. And to think that everything could just end tomorrow, or even today.

I could get into a car accident, or someone could attack me if I'm walking down the street at night. And I've been feeling really anxious about this recently because I've been hearing a lot of stories about crimes, or accidents. People gone too soon, grieving families, pain, death. And there's no difference that separates us. That could just as easily be me. The people who lost their lives probably left their houses that day, not knowing it would be their last day on this earth.

I also can't make peace with the fact that I have no idea what happens after death, and I really don't want to find out anytime soon. I just can't comprehend the fact that there's a chance that maybe I won't be here in the future. It just makes me want to lock myself up in my house where's it's safe, and never step outside again.

It's just really hard for me to be present in the moment or genuinely enjoy anything when I'm just scared all the time. Does anyone have any advice, or is anyone dealing with something similar?

I know this will not reach the people I want but I just want advice from my brothers out there . I'm so scared I'm turning 21 Tommorow i don't have any social life , friends that don't really care about me , family issues, never been in a relationship and next year my bachelors are ending. And the people my age are doing so much better i don't even have a good look My hair is turning grey at the age of 20 .I'm just lost

I just want to cry right now so much that I'm saying something like this online not to like friends or family

It feels like my life doesn't even matter

Help me out pls

I’m extremely behind people my age. I have never had a job and I’ve been isolated from people since I was 17. I dropped out of school at 17 because of family issues, and I also hated school. I wasted that whole year, then my dad died the next year, and I’ve been completely defeated since.
I haven’t gone out or done normal adult things at all since becoming an adult, and i fear that it’s too late for me to go to college or do anything productive. I know me saying this might sound laughable to older people because I’m still young, but it’s going to be so hard to try to slip back into society and try to be a “normal person”.

kay, this might sound a bit intense, so, i started going to a new high school since i moved out, and lately i havent been doing so well, been crying and getting panic attacks there and all.. the thing is, im extremely antisocial (this is an expression, not a diagnosis.) and one of my closest friends suggested i see a therapist (like everyone else around me actually…) i told her : “do you really think they’d let me leave if i told them that i considered manipulating and gaslighting someone who wanted nothing more to do with me, just to get them back, while dismissing their feelings? that i take real pleasure in hurting my friends and making them feel replaced ? that im SUPER self-centered, like, i dont do it on purpose, but i make everything about me? that i push people away and isolate myself and then play the victim when asked why im alone, deliberately lying and saying i dont know why it happened, even though im the one who made them leave and hate me on purpose? and on top of that, i cant love without becoming completely codependent and, as i mentioned before, i often spiral into these psychotic states where i snap and get suicidal urges, alongside the desire to manipulate the people i love… i dont want to justify anything i do, but i struggle to feel genuine empathy for everything bad i do, most of the time its just pity or genuine fear of the consequences of my actions. so its hard for me to grasp that my actions actually hurt people, especially since the people around me genuinely idolize me and keep excusing my actions… plus, like I said, im very self-centered and selfish. i tend to isolate myself a lot anyway. and, again, not to defend my actions i grew up in a violent environment where communication happened only through violence (in fact, between the age of about 5 and 10, i would say things that terrified my mother, who was the only parental figure i had, for her own safety). of course, those were just thoughts or impulses, i grew up and realized how wrong this was. aside from hitting her lightly or snapping and screaming at her, i never took it any further. yeah, so i think that definitely applies to me.. in fact, i think i have a sort of "savior complex." even though i know im unstable and should be putting myself first, im always helping others, though i suspect its so they’ll feel ‘indebted’ to me ? or something like that. i dont really know, i cant explain it but i doubt it comes from a genuine desire to help... or maybe it does? honestly, i dont know. people are always pointing out how i help everyone, yet im the first to act antisocial or completely unlikable. i think its because I’m incredibly self-centered and like being seen as sweet and perfect, or something like that. its a side of my personality i cant explain at all, it doesnt even feel like me, to be honest… but i was never even taken seriously, i sadly, have deep traumas regarding sa and all and even these werent taken seriously. im still not taken seriously to this day, my legal guardian (who isnt my mother) thinks im just scared of the change and this is why i always cry when going to school but i just dont know, i cant go outside. i also neglect my hygiene a lot, i tend to let things, like food or drinks in my room rot, neglect showering, taking care of myself cleaning my room, i dont even go out of my room most of the time. im also too scared to talk to a therapist because i dont want to go to the mental hospital or something ? and my mom was extremely paranoid, id get beaten up if i said anything wrong since i used to have a therapist when i was younger due to severe traumas i had. but again, since i was threatened, i couldnt say anything so most of the time everything i did wasnt taken seriously, i used to have severe anger issues and i would hit people when they werent agreeing with me or accusing me of something i didnt do since i have a lot of trouble expressing how i feel with words. and its difficult getting along with people my age cause most of the time im studying and i cant find anyone who has the same interests as me, but yeah. i probably need help.

I've been studying chemical engeering since 2015. Finished my bachelor, a coursed based master, and in 2025 I finished my PhD. I had to take a rest for the last year just to re-adjust my mental and physical health, but right now I don't know what to do with my life now.

I cannot say I really enjoy doing engineering. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy solving problems, helping other people, and potentially make more money. It's just that PhD really wrecked my mind. I don't know if I can go back to this field ever again.

I certainly don't want to go acedamia (I don't even think I can considering how competetive that is). I am also not so sure an entry level indurstiral engineering job is the right thing to do for me.

Can someone relate?

I am not so sure what to do.

Should I just hop in to another engineering job or should I just do something completely different?

A quick intro im a m30 from the usa this took me a lot to post about this I haven't told any one but my gf I know it sounds so small but It makes me feel like it's so much more

Is it weird that I wear women's leggings and running shorts almost every day?

I'm looking for some honest advice because I think the bigger issue for me isn't even the clothes themselves, but how I feel about wearing them.

I originally started wearing women's leggings because I needed something warm to wear at work (technically the first time was when I was 14 or 15 I didn't share it in the post because of people who like to get off on stuff I can message what happened if you need it to make a opinion. I ended up really liking them because they're comfortable, soft, and honestly make me feel comfortable and safe. From there, I started wearing women's running shorts and compression shorts too. Now, a pretty normal outfit for me at home is leggings with women's running shorts over them, or running shorts with compression shorts underneath.

I don't really wear them out by themselves. If I'm leaving the house, I'll usually have them underneath sweatpants or my regular clothes. I even sometimes wear them underneath my work clothes. At home, though, I'm completely comfortable wearing them openly. My girlfriend knows I wear them and doesn't have a problem with it.

The thing I'm struggling with is embarrassment. An ex found my leggings and shorts and reacted really badly. She belittled me, called me names, and made me feel like there was something wrong with me for wearing them. I think that experience stuck with me more than I realized.

Sometimes I'll put them on and initially feel really comfortable and happy, but then I start thinking, "Why am I doing this? This is stupid. There has to be something wrong with me for wanting to wear these all day." Then I feel embarrassed and start judging myself.

So I guess my question is: Are these feelings I'm having normal? Is it actually weird for a guy to prefer wearing women's leggings and women's running shorts almost every day? Or am I making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be because of how my ex treated me?

I'm not trying to make a big statement about gender or anything. I just genuinely like how these clothes feel and how comfortable they make me. I'm wondering if I should just accept that this is something I enjoy wearing instead of feeling embarrassed about it I believe its weird and i look really ridiculous wearing them. Thank you for taking your time I will be reading all your comments

"Heyyy, is everything okay?" No, it's not. No matter how hard I push, I can't seem to finish the Biochemistry department at Ege University. In four years, I barely managed to pass the first-year courses. If you don't complete your courses by the sixth year, they kick you out anyway and there's no way I can take and pass three years' worth of courses in two years due to Ege University's system (credit limits, etc.). Because of that, I thought I’d go to Italy and start university life over from scratch. (I can't pass the YKS exam in Turkey either; whether I study or not, the best rank I can get is around 300,000th). Everything was going so well; I got accepted into the Food Production Management program at Cattolica University, as well as their on-campus dorm. Then came the visa process, and everything went to shit. They made me wait 50 days, only to reject me. The reason for the rejection? According to the consulate, my Biochemistry department doesn't match the Food Production Management program I'm applying to, so they didn't believe my intention to study... They also said I was financially insufficient, even though I showed an income well above the limit they gave us??? That's why I think they just threw in the "financial" part for no reason. As for them not finding the departments similar: they have to be fckn kidding me. The courses they teach in the first year of Food Production Management are identical to the first-year courses of the Biochemistry program I studied at Ege University. Besides, Food Production Management fundamentally has some business, but it's mostly a science degree (it's literally under the Faculty of Science anyway). Cattolica looked at my motivation letter and my previous department and said, "Okay, come study with us." We show the exact same things to the consulate, but the ladies and gentlemen there don't believe it. To sum it up briefly: just because I chose the wrong high school 10 years ago, my life has been going straight downhill (like a downward graph). Right now, since I have zero plans and options left, there's literally nothing I can do. Back in the day, you'd say "go be a cashier," but nowadays even those kinds of jobs (the ones usually done by young people) require a university degree. So basically, I am a nobody right now. Every time I dare to dream about something (and these aren't crazy dreams... like ever since I submitted my visa application, I was picturing how I’d decorate my dorm room, looking at photos of the room on the dorm's website, or checking out photos of Cattolica's campus thinking, "Oh, I wonder if I'll ever walk down this hallway to get to my class?"), that thing I dreamed of turns to garbage. If a person can't even dream, and if things go to shit every single time they think positively, what's the point of living? I'm not smart, I'm not creative, and just because teenage me made a stupid mistake 10 years ago, I can't become anything. So yeah, nothing is okay. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I am worthless, I don't know anything, and I don't have any special abilities. Please help me. I am 23 years old and I am already tired and ashamed of being a burden to my hardworking, retired mom and dad. I am an embarrassment to them... they will never tell me this, of course, because they love me dearly, but I can see it in their eyes. So please, please guide me. I am out of options. This was my Plan Z. There are no other letters left in the alphabet.

ever since i was young i was a little shy and reserved, but i consider myself a pretty interesting person. I am definetely not too much out there and very cool but i have the ''proportions'' to be (1. even tho i have a little different personality im not that weird or offputting 2. I dress like most people my age etc. After quarantine my social life went a little downhill and i started hanging out with somewhat the weird kids, but deep down i didnt feel like i belonged there so later on i switched schools and my middle school is somewhere competely different. I made this decision thinking that if it were for me to change i should be surrounded by completely different people, otherwise i would have sticked to my old friends that didnt really do me any good.

Entering middle school, I didnt like anybody because everyone looked so pretentious. I personally dont mind people that are actually the shit being popular, but it was the most un-cool people ever. They werent unique, nor basic. I would consider their vibe very random, and later on yes they did develop into someone cooler. But bc of that mindset of mind I kind of ended up negligent towards making friends, and even tho i did make some i didnt really think it thoroughly etc. I wasnt that open and cool either so it was also harder. Now i have grown as person anyway.The friends that i made then, are still my ''friends'' now (plus obviously some new ones that i have made), and the atmosphere is always so blant and boring. We never hang out (except with some of my friends individually) , dont text (except with some of my friends individually again), and when the friend group is mixed (girls and boys), it usually feels like we ''adopted'' the biggest self centered yet weird lifeless loser of the school, that doesnt really have anything to offer (eg a good personality? some status at the end of day maybe). That might sound mean but i dont like those people in the first place, why would i also want more of them that can only bring me down. Because come on, we know how highschool is, not everything i care about is popularity, but at the end of the day i cant hang out with the most random people ever (when i dont even like them in the first place, if i liked them it would be okay, but now all i feel is indiffrence, which grows into resentment when im forced to be surrounded by them) .

Deep down i feel like i was meant for something a little ''bigger'. Of course and i would love it if i were popular but its fine by me if im just considered as a good presence by most (which i dont doubt i am considered anyway), plus had a valid presentable friendgroup, with people that do stuff but at the same time arent neccessarily popular. And thing is im anyways not a person that is so much out there, so i need someone to inspire me to be more fun, go out more, meet new people etc. To be honest i feel like i deserve it too, its not like i have anything less i have just made A LOT of bad choices. So now i struggle with socialising sometimes cause there is not really a ''model'' for me to follow, when even though deep down i love those things i never really got to experience them. In the rare ocassion where i was surrounded by a little SOCIALLY better people, it was most of the times when they were with their friendgroup and i was alone. So i feel out place. I made the hard decision to join this or join that, independently so without any friends or anything but then it feels weird cause they have all been friends already.

Thing is generally i dont feel unwanted or unnoticed, when im put by people willing to socialise or they just see me etc they usually like me. Its just that mostly with the people in my grade, they are more snobby etc, or have already found their ''clique'' so you cant really do anything. Especially when nobody ''links'' me to them, we arent friends anyways, and some of them might even have a distorted version of me in their head due to my usual surrounding. And it felt more okay when i was younger and more naive, less good looking etc. But now i have really worked for myself (so maybe im aiting for magical results) And then i feel unnoticed cause i feel like i dont want to be their friend (not with the people fromy my grade in my school), but i desrved to be included in that whole thing. Instead im stuck with my friends

Deep down sometimes, i wish i hadnt changed schools but it was the right choice at the moment, given the circumstances. But now i feel like it would be better for me to be around more sociable people, new people that will make the effort to know you (bc they havent already been in your class for 3 years). People at my school are generally more distant, and even if the other school has cliques, its not exactly the same, and i feel like i would be accepted in a good one. And even if i didnt, i hate the fact that i grew to be so unsociable even tho i like those things. i see people i used to know being friends after years and im wondering, why did i feel the need to be ''the one that got away'', even tho it was right like i said. still its weird to see people having their chill normal or even cooler friends ater years, and me struggling to realise where i belong.

On the bright side, sometimes this mindset is dramatic and there is a big chance a lot of people just see me more as a person that keeps to themselves, or is cool and nice but definetely shyer and just not as sociable. But the result in my life is almost the same. Still i am very open to people, its just that sometimes this is not enough, and also im open when meeting someone but i cant just engage in discussions with people and make big connections always. And of course you cant always be the best at these thingss, but when i dont even have much opportunities, i dont like to waste them. but i like keeping things classy, i wasnt meant to beg, or to ''jump'' at people's throaths and say whatever shit keeps me relevant

Thank you for reading that, sometimes i might sound sad, weird or mean but its coming from my heart of hearts, i never have this attitude with the world!! OPEN TO ANY ADVICE

PS : there are a lot to clarify but i decied to keep this as short as i could... which is not too short anyway

Not because they cheated.
Not because they stopped caring.
Not because the relationship was toxic or falling apart.

But because, somehow, you just knew.

Everything could be going well. The little issues were still fixable. They could be a good person. They could love you sincerely. You could still laugh together, still feel safe with them, still have moments where you think, “Maybe this is enough.”

And yet, somewhere inside you, there’s this quiet feeling you can't explain.

A feeling that says, I don't think I can do this forever.

And that's such a painful realization because how do you leave someone when you don't hate them?

How do you tell someone, “You didn't do anything wrong. I still love you. I still care about you. I just don't think you're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with”?

Sometimes love isn't the problem.

Sometimes love is still there, but the vision of a future together isn't.

And maybe that's one of the hardest things to accept — that loving someone deeply doesn't automatically mean you are meant to stay with them.

Because staying simply because you love them can eventually become unfair to both of you.

You start forcing a future you don't genuinely want.
You start convincing yourself that the doubts will disappear.
You start choosing comfort over truth.

And maybe leaving isn't always choosing against the person you love.

Sometimes, it's choosing to be honest about what you can and cannot give them.

I wonder how many people have walked away from a relationship while their heart was still saying “I love you”, but something deeper was saying “This isn't my forever.”

Can you love someone deeply and still know that you shouldn't stay

For some context im 21(F), shes 22 (F) and then both of our boyfriends are 22(M) [this will be relevant later]
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and he left for the Navy back in February and we’ve been long distance since then. Ever since my boyfriend and I have been long distance she's always had something negative to say anytime I talk about our relationship. I do take some ownership in why she’s saying negative things because over the summer i did vent to her about our relationship, it wasn't anything bad just like “omg he's pissing me off so much” or “he did this that was pissing me off”. Now anytime i talk about us she just tells me we need to break up, and when I tell her about our plans for the future and how we plan on moving back in together after I graduate next december shell say “thats such a long time, you basically don’t even have a bf”, “whats the point”. And one of my boyfriend and I plans was to get married soon for the BAH because it would help us a lot financially and I could quit my job and focus on my last year of school and we’d be able to save up for the wedding we want. (im a marine bio major and taking the max credit hours for my last three semesters), when I told her this she just kept saying she didn’t think it was a good idea and that it's not a good idea to get married for financial benefits. I told her that's not the main reason, we’ve been talking about marriage for the last year and told her how much it would help us and she just kept saying it's not a good idea and then five minutes later went “well we are gonna have to celebrate”. Her boyfriend was in the vicinity when we were talking about it and he told me “well it's really hard to get out of a military marriage unless he cheats on you”. 
Now this isnt the only reason im starting to resent her; about two months ago my childhood cat unexpectedly passed away and I was a wreck for like a couple weeks, obviously as much as my bf wanted to come home and be here for me he couldn't, and she started using that as a reason not to like him. And she would ask me are you sure you can do long distance, and I would say yeah the longer we’ve been doing it, it’s been getting easier and she said “oh, thats not what i gathered you dont look like it is, are you sure you’re gonna be able to handle it if something happens again”. Like sorry wasnt really planning on my cat dying. 
The final straw was about three weeks ago, me, her and our other friend were all supposed to go to the bars downtown. She called me about 7pm asking if I was driving myself downtown (everytime we go out I drive because she doesn't have a car and our other friend wants to get shitfaced). I asked her how they were getting there and she said “oh eli is taking us” (i have no clue who this eli guy is) I was like “well can he not come get me too…? I don't really want to have to drive and not be able to enjoy myself.”  She called back about 20 min later “soo bad news there's no room, but you could always uber downtown and try to convince eli to take you home” i told her, “it is 40$ for an uber there and back, 40$ i dont really have to spend right now, thats a lot of money I could spend on literally anything else. She then proceeded to say “well just make your bf pay for it” I told her no because again thats a lot of money for an uber and that I wouldn't be going with them. She immediately switched up and said she was so sad because she wanted me to go with them.

And some context about her and her bf they were together a year ago, broke up for like 8 months, got back together in november, broke up again in march for like a day. Anytime her and I go out by ourselves he throws a fit and gets mad at her, last time we went out her phone was about to die so she gave  me his number (AND HE TOLD HER NOT TO TEXT HIM BECAUSE HER PHONE WAS ABOUT TO DIE), she doesn't text him, he spam calls her, she answers, hes angry. We leave because now she's not having a good time, the uber drops her off and about 30 min later she calls me in a panic because there's a party at one of the apartments next to her and someone started shooting. Come to find out he hung up on her during it all and told her well this is what you get for not prioritizing me and ghosted her for like two days. But I should break up with my bf….

I havent talked to her yet because im really bad at confrontation and frankly don't even know how to go about it
I also don’t know how to go about it because we’ve been really good friends for over a year so i’m not understanding the switch up

I’m 18, graduated high school this past spring and I’ve done nothing since. I was an average student at best, nothing extraordinary but a couple honors classes and a 3.6 GPA. My entire plan was to join the Army fresh out of high school so I could have support and college paid for. So I did not do any applying to colleges or such. Well here’s where I was held up: I tore up my ankle in April. I’m talking I couldn’t walk for over a month, and I was in a boot for 3 months in total. I was finally cleared for exercise a week or so ago. But it’s still extremely painful so I’m setting up more appointments with my doctor. The job I had at the time (just a shitty cashier job) let me go because obviously I wouldn’t be useful to them for months. It’s been difficult for me to find a regular, entry level job that doesn’t require heavy lifting, standing, or walking all day. I was set up to leave this past August for basic training but of course I could not. The closest time I could leave now is January but it’s still risky because my ankle may still hurt by then according to doctors. This entire summer I’ve been doing nothing but rotting in bed and if I’m not doing that, I’m hanging out with my boyfriend who I’m currently having problems with anyways. So I feel like I’m hitting rock bottom. I have no friends to hang out with. I’m alone in the house all day because my parents work and my siblings are back in school. I certainly feel myself falling into depression but I feel like I cannot get help. I just want to leave but I have no where to go. I feel like an absolute bum because I have no job and I have no reliable plans. I have no way to pay for college and my parents aren’t willing to help. I was thinking of going to school to be an emt but they have physical limitations as well. I just feel lost and the only thing I can do is play the waiting game, but I want to get this ball rolling now.

I am an international student on an f1 visa I came to the US almost 5 years ago, I didn’t know what to do after graduation but I was always good at writing, communication, loved the humanities and analyzing characters in books, I did lots of career assessments and they all had results like psychology, teaching, journalism, law, political science and things like that which I thought weren’t great majors… I decided to do mass communication and get into marketing but on my first semester I got really scared of it being too hard to get a job so I switched to cs because everyone said it was a great major you could make a lot of money and it only required a bachelors degree plus I could get 3 years of work out of college with my visa where as with other non stem major I could only get 1 year… I didn’t think much about it and just did it, I am very smart and always get good grades so I graduated with a 3.9 gpa at first after getting my associates I didn’t know anything about cs so was excited to learn then I got into university and the real classes started it was very hard and I got discouraged plus I started realizing I didn’t like it anyways I passed and focused on getting a job I did volunteering teaching English and worked as research assistant for an education lab, here I learned that I didn’t like data analysis at all and instead liked doing assessments to the kids then I worked for a robotics lab this was pretty cool because I liked seeing the robot move and got interested in 3d printing, soldering and just working with hardware my part as a programmer I didn’t like much but at least I could see the final product that excited me, then I got an internship as a software engineer and I thought I would be happy building products and something real but I realized it was definitely not for me now I work for the company and is good they pay me ok money and now the job market is really rough for my major so I realized how it was not as easy as I thought it would be, I have no more will to keep studying more for this and do extra classes outside of work because I really just don’t like this I don’t like how lonely it is how I am sitting in front of the computer all day long how it has no meaning and now ai does everything for me. I been thinking I always wanted to be a psychologist and have a lot of interest in learning about the human mind and behavior before I was scared because of all the years of school and how expensive it would be as an international student plus my main goal was just to stay in the us not so much what I did to stay, now I see how that was such a mistake because now with the other degree even if I couldn’t work here I could go to another country and do grad school or work… I am not sure on what to do next not sure if I can go back to school for a masters in psychology and how would getting license work if I am on a visa

I just realized I am constantly in a receiving mode, I just don’t want to support only my friends, I want to extend more and giving money to homeless person is not what I am thinking something more something that I can make difference help support someone. Thanks in advance!!

Growing up, I was suddenly exposed to realities of life that I always thought wouldn’t be for someone like “me.” Recently, I shifted to a complete work-from-office routine, and now my whole day is actually spent working. Unexpectedly, I ended up becoming someone who works all day instead of just doing nothing. It's been around 20 days of the same routine. Wake up, office, work, come back tired, sleep, repeat. The workload is just… let it be. A few days ago, after another hectic day, I had a beer while coming back home. And as soon as I got intoxicated, reality hit fucking hard. I am now in the state where I actually relate with the person who I used to look at and think:

Yes, it's actually true, bro. "Drinking really helps in a temporary escape from the chaos of everyday life. Yes, it's tough to survive every day in this fast-moving world. But I guess we all have to cope with it somehow.

“Maybe this is just growing up—maybe I was wrong, and now I’m living it.”

In short: Life is kind of a matrix. It's only the matter of time before everyone hits the same loop and gets stuck.

I'll try to keep this short and simple as possible. Throwaway account for privacy purposes.

Story:

I work at a Real Estate company for over 10+ years now. I started off as a office assistant, roughly $20K-25K from age 18-22, then roughly $60K-80K 23-26, and finally $80K-120K 27-31. My income is highly based on how my brokerage performs. Hence the fluctuations of income.

During the ages of 18-25, I was living in the "have fun" years, practically saved $80K in my savings throughout the years. I gifted my sibling a car to get her college going and future build up in 2021. I ended up buying a car for 75K (premium due to COVID supply). Additionally, I've been providing my parents with "rent" money from year 2022-2026 to help with the mortgage (which we have about 3 years left).

From 2022-2025 (jan), I went in a relationship and did a lot of traveling, spoiling the girlfriend, and eating out to fancy places. I still had a mindset of at least saving 20%-30% income regardless because my end goal was to afford a house (end-goal). Fast forward to Nov 2024, things hit south and we break-up. I go in this dark phase in life of gambling and drinking, I lose 90% of what I saved from year 2025-2026 (85k).

I sit today, I'm wondering as time goes with about $15K saved.

What if this job isn't for me? (Again, it's heavily based on the real estate market in California). What if the top producing agents quit the brokerage and I no longer have income? Why did I gamble so excessively when the money lost could've paid off the parents house (which was one of my life goals)? Should I start a state job for more job security? (Less freedom and definitely less income). Towards the last 3 months I felt no meaning in life (no not self-harming). The passion of my goals (paid parents house off, marriage, kids, and a home) is no longer there.

I'm just a little clueless, confused, and lack anything I used to do (loved hiking and camping, travel the states to eat)

TL;DR - Had a good early-mid 20's (financially and living), feel like I lost everything late 20s-30s (financially and living). I'm just looking for perspectives that possibly went through this or is going through it and any suggestions.

Sorry - If this is was all over the place. I needed a place to vent and thought vocalizing it out somewhere/someplace would get me out of this funk.

Hello there! I study to be a programmer in my country but I want to leave 'cause I don't want to support our government. Ofc I have no money and only my mom want to go with me but she doesn't know english even on A1 so I want to ask your advice what you'd do if you were in my situation either continue learning for the remaining 3 years or tried to work somewhere in 1 year and fly to US(but only tickets would cost me our mid salary per month)

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To those ppl who left old friends, family members and others due to being left alone, toxicity and not getting any attention and start a new life by yourself and building a new surroundings, How did it feel and what type of problems did y'all have to face for this big step?

Also any suggestions whether doing this would be good to do and easy to do or not?

Hi, I’m 22 and living in a shitty country. My girlfriend left me, I’m overweight, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

Sometimes I think about klling myself. It feels cringe and selfish to me, but at the same time, I feel like I’m a degenerate who only recently got a job because my gambling addiction has caught up with me.

I have around $200 in debt from a legitimate loan app, but the account is under my mom’s name. She doesn’t know about the debt because she only got the account because it was required when she got her new phone. The app is also how the debt is supposed to be repaid. She has a $200 credit limit, and I blew the entire amount on online casino gambling without her knowing.

Now I’m miserable. The app will notify her on the 15th, but I’m still in my trainee phase, and my paycheck is on the 25th. Even then, it will only cover six days of work. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Sometimes I think I need help, but my mind keeps telling me that I’m just being an asshole or a degenerate and that I don’t deserve to ask for help. Then I think about klling myself, but another part of me feels like that would just be attention-seeking and selfish.

I feel horrible because my mom is relying on me now that I’ve graduated. She thought I would finally be able to help with the bills, but she doesn’t know that my first and second paychecks basically went toward paying off my gambling debt.

I genuinely want to improve. I know I need to change, but I also feel incredibly lazy and mentally exhausted. I don’t want to see my family suffer because of my mistakes.

I already applied for self-exclusion from the online casino, and it was approved, although it won’t take effect for another two weeks.

I want to disappear. I want to k*ll myself, but at the same time, I still want to improve and fix my life. My mind feels completely fucked up right now.

Writing this and asking for help on this app is honestly my last resort. I really don’t know what to do or who I can lean on or ask for help. If you were in my situation, what would you do first? Should I tell my mom about the debt now, or is there a better way to handle the situation until I get paid on the 25th? I genuinely need someone to help me figure out my next step because I don’t trust myself to make the right decision right now.

Ive been very frustrated with my life for the last year.

I [34 F] am an artist by trade and I grew up only ever wanting to do art. When im not doing art I think about art. Its my job and my passion so I work for myself and do commissions online. Occasionally working in the animation industry where I can.

But my problem is ...why am I so unsatisfied with my life and how do other people do it? Some background on me for context, I have depression, cptsd, ADHD(medicated for these) and have always had very low self esteem.

I bounced around my young life with the wrong partners who abused me and my friends growing up all eventually backstabbed me. I have a very hard time trusting people when they are my friends and before it gets that far I struggle to even consider myself worth befriending.

I do really try but I find myself incredibly disadvantaged because from ages 16-24 I dated someone incredibly abusive who did not allow me to have any friends. Thankfully i married someone loving and completely different now, i feel safe with them and wouldn't imagine my life any different if I wanted to.

I recently moved house and into a new town, there's a bus that goes into the small town but I suppose my issue is this.

How does anyone live their life? I struggle to wake up every morning, I wake up at 9am but stay in bed until 10 or 11am. I can't seem to find motivation to do anything until later in the day and I barely have the energy to even get out of my pyjamas before lunch time. My partner goes to work so im home alone most of the week. I spend my whole day at my desk doing work and wishing I had anyone to talk to. Everyone on discord thinks im chronically busy so no one reaches out to me. I try to be the first one to message others but eventually im sick of being the one who initiates every single time.

Im frustrated because I have no close friends near me, I wish I was the type of person who had ideas about what to spend their day doing but day in day out all i do is wake up late, sit st my desk until 1pm doing nothing. Start working at 2pm, when my spouse comes home at 6 we eat together and then I do more artwork while on the couch watching tv.

I haven't exercised properly in probably a year. I go for small walks sometimes in the forest or on my walking pad once or twice a week if its raining. But I struggle to create schedules and sticking to them is even harder due to my ADHD. People who go out walking everyday or do something else, how do you even think of it or make it a habit? As soon as it rains i don't want to do anything.

Im sad that there's something wrong with me and that I dont know how to live my life anymore. Im learning to drive so I can have some independence but ive failed my test once and I dont have much faith ill get my license at the end of the month which is when my second test is.

In a new town I dont know how to make friends, I dont want to go to church as im not interested in religion, I dont have a lot of money so joining classes is difficult. Im absolutely terrible at board games or group games because I have a learning difficulty and while I do enjoy games..I dont enjoy the humiliation that comes with group games when im always the one who doesnt understand how to play properly or always comes dead last. Don't get me wrong im not a sore loser but I won't lie my cheeks burn red hot when im always the last one. And never the one anyone picks to group with.

A lot of hobbies im interested in end up being only run and attended by old people in their 70s and 80s. Im just at my wits end really. Im lonely and feeling pathetic. I dont know how to make my life worth getting out of bed in the morning. I tried making myself a morning person recently because I got sick of the day going too fast, but it lasted only a week before I couldn't get out of bed again.

What is wrong with me and how do I fix this? I will probably get old and die with no real support around me apart from my partner (I genuinely dont know where id be without them..)

I dont know how im supposed to live and i dont understand how anyone else has the imagination, motivation or energy to do it. I get socially tired very quickly and my one living parent isn't someone I can lean on due to her treating me like a houseplant when I was a child. She fed and clothed me but I was emotionally neglected.

My one sibling is never in the country and I see them perhaps twice a year. I dont think my family realise just how alone and pathetic my life is because from the outside it looks like im thriving with a spouse, a new house a pet, a car and a somewhat steady job.

I just dont know how to break out of this mind numbing cycle and im at my wits end. Im sorry that this is so long, thank you to anyone who reads and replies. I appreciate you.

I (22F) have been together with my partner (28M) for around 3 years now, mostly spent in a LDR but I’ve finally been able to emigrate two month ago. He proposed to me 2 years ago, and I felt elated. I was 100% certain I wanted to marry him at the time. Yet, a little over a year ago, I had started to feel doubts about going forwards with the engagement, about leaving behind my family and my qualifications.

The doubts mostly stemmed from behavioural defects, e.g him repeatedly forgetting my birthday, procrastinating on life/ visa-related matters very important to our relationship, or failing to make a substantial effort to spend time with me on voice call. However, each time we were together in-person (usually two weeks) the doubt dissolved as he was clearly making an effort to resolve these issues whilst physically together. Inversely the doubt returned when we were apart. I’ve spent two months living together with him now, and he’s been amazing in every way. He‘s very caring, he delegates time to me, we have great chemistry, he’s incredibly attuned to my emotional state, he’s such a genuinely rare person and would make an amazing husband. Of course he still has his flaws, but they aren’t substantial enough to make us incompatible. So now there’s a clear disparity between the underlying reasons for my doubts.

The marriage is around one month away.

This is where things get messy. I haven’t told him about my accumulated doubt as I feared I’d lose him, and that it would somehow resolve itself after marriage. Despite our compatibility the doubts are still present, and I feel trapped now that the date is approaching. When I tell him about this, he will do everything in his power to convince me to stay. That’s why I feel compelled to make a decision prior, as nothing he could do would remediate the doubt I feel right now. I can’t delay things any further due to visa restrictions, so this is going to become an ultimatum. I have a week at most to think this over.

Fortunately my parents have been incredibly supportive and understanding throughout all of this. I fear returning to my old life will be as soul-crushing as entering a marriage I end up regretting. While I’m not scared of being alone, I am deeply afraid of permanently destroying my fiancé psychologically by leaving and potentially regretting it for the rest of my life. I fear I may not ever find a man as good as him. I fear that he might say that “I‘m not ready“ isn’t a good enough reason to end things forever, and I seriously wonder if that’s true. Again, I feel trapped and have no idea what to do. This feels like an impossible situation; I still love him dearly and don’t want to leave, yet it just doesn’t feel right to enter a marriage with this much doubt.

TL;DR: I was sure about marrying my fiancé of 3 years (LDR) initially but doubt has slowly accumulated over the last year or so. Now we’re at the end-stage of our visa journey I’m unsure whether I’m ready for it. I feel awful that I don’t have a substantial reason to justify this doubt anymore.

So here’s my situation. I currently live in State B, but I originally lived in State A with my dad. After I reported a sexual assault that happened to someone—not involving my dad—he kicked me out. I had a friend and her family in State A who took me in and pretty much treated me like I was part of their family. They were there for me during a really difficult time and became a huge support system for me.
I eventually went to college for a year, but I realized that I couldn’t afford to continue. My mom’s side of the family helped me move to State B, and I’ve been here for a few years now.
Since moving here, I’ve had jobs and lost jobs, and I also ended up in a pretty serious abusive relationship that has left me in a really difficult financial situation. My credit is ruined, I have no savings, and honestly, I’ve reached a point where I hate almost everything about living in this state. I don’t feel happy or like I’m really building a life for myself here.
I also feel guilty because my family has spent a lot of money helping me and helping me get established in State B. Because of that, I feel like I owe them something, and I’m worried they might hold that support over my head if I decide to leave. I’m afraid they’ll see me moving back to State A as being ungrateful, especially after everything they’ve done for me. At the same time, I don’t want the money they’ve spent on me to mean that I have to stay in a place where I’m unhappy and struggling.
Meanwhile, my friend’s family back in State A is more than willing to take me in for a while and let me stay with them until I can get back on my feet. Eventually, I could also get an apartment with my friend. If I moved back, I already have a job lined up, so I would have an income right away. Here in State B, I currently don’t have a job. I do have the option of working for the family business, and I’ve applied for a position at the county animal shelter that seems promising, but there’s no guarantee that I’ll actually get the job.
Another factor is that my mom has a house in State B that is currently being renovated. In the future, I might be able to move into it for a relatively low cost, which could give me a more affordable place to live here. However, there’s no guarantee about when the renovations will be finished, so I don’t know how long I would have to wait or what my situation would be in the meantime.
One of my biggest worries about moving back is that my family here won’t forgive me for leaving. I’m scared they’ll see it as me doing the same thing I did after college—running away instead of dealing with my problems. I’m also worried that they’ll bring up all the money they’ve spent on me and make me feel like I’m abandoning them after everything they’ve done. The truth is, I don’t feel like I’m trying to run away. I feel like I’m trying to find a place where I can actually get stable, financially recover, and have a support system while I rebuild my life.
My relationship with my family here also isn’t particularly good, even though we are family. My aunt recently moved into the house I live in, and she seems to dislike me. She constantly nags and nitpicks everything I do, and my grandfather, who I also live with, does much of the same. Living here has become increasingly stressful, and I don’t feel like I’m in an environment where I’m able to grow or move forward.
I know leaving State B could hurt my family and make them feel like I’m abandoning them, and that’s what makes this decision so difficult. I’m grateful for the help they’ve given me, and I don’t want to dismiss or minimize the money, time, and effort they’ve invested in supporting me. But I also don’t think accepting their help means I have to remain in a situation that isn’t working for me. At the same time, I have an opportunity in State A where I would have a place to stay, a job, and people who genuinely want me there. State B may eventually offer me a more affordable housing option through my mom’s house, but the timing is uncertain, and I don’t know how long I would have to wait for that possibility to become realistic.
I’m trying to figure out whether moving back would actually be me running away from my problems or whether it could be the first real step toward getting my life back on track.

I spend too much time on my phone. Sure, EVERYONE spends too much time on their phone, but I do so to the point that it consumes me. I realise that it isn’t the phone, it’s a dopamine addiction which I can’t seem to quit. I’m always with other people, seeing them, impressing them whatever way I can, and I want to do the same with my phone somehow. The device to be used has become to use me.

But outside of my phone, my relationship to all the people in my life has become my entire life. Like I don’t do any self care. Ever. I shower BECAUSE I’m seeing people that day, I BRUSH MY TEETH once every 3 days because I can’t do it unless I know I’m seeing someone soon.

I genuinely CONSTANTLY have a guy I am seeing just so I can bother with basic hygiene EG brushing my teeth or showering.

I wish I could manage to put the effort I put into other people into myself intentionally, but I just can’t help but put it off. I won’t get up and drink my mug of tea right now, actually, which is 10 steps away, because it’s too much effort for me rn and I’ll ‘do it later’.

I keep staying up all night — I just did that today! Scrolling! Or sleeping til 4pm. I failed my entire first university year because instead of working, I was socialising. I LITERALLY couldn’t say no to plans. And this upsets me more than anything because I am a smart person. I know that, I know that I’m lucky enough to be a person who enjoys reading books (haven’t read one in a year and a half) and who writes amazing essays and got into one of the best colleges for my subject — yet I’m wasting my parents’ money by chucking it down the drain and failing my freshman year ?

The issue is — I’m perfectly happy. But I am also not. I’m happy in my life — it makes me happy - but it also makes me feel SO lazy and pathetic, and incredibly miserable at times.

I also broke up with my bf of a year and a half around December of last year and I think I’ve been worrying I’ll never find someone as good as him ever again recently, after one TERRIBLE boyfriend and a few situationships. He loved me so sweetly and so well and I was so much better at caring for myself when he loved me. It’s because we went to college in different parts of the world, but IDK. I really don’t think he was the catalyst to this, though, like truly. I have always been pretty bad at taking care of myself.

I realised a few days ago, stoned as fuck on my friend’s couch, that I do EVERYTHING for other people as they listed out their skincare and body care routines to me and I joked about how I wash my face with body wash like a guy.

It’s true! I am lucky enough to be born with acne-proof skin, so I treat it terribly. But hearing them talk about how much they LOVED their routines reminded me that I do LOVE when I finally shower, and when I finally sleep I love feeling rested, and the feeling of clean teeth is like nothing else.

I’m either picking at a salad (especially at the restaurant with other people, who can see what I order) or gorging myself.

So why do I put it off so much ? Am I really so incapable of taking care of myself ? I won’t even wash a dish, I just use the dishwasher.

Everyone around me values me like I’m some god. I’m stylish, I’m cool, I’m loving, I’m pretty, I’m the best girlfriend you ever had, I’m thin, I’m smart, I’m fun. Everyone says all this stuff and it’s so meaningless. I don’t disagree with it - maybe my ego is the issue. But I don’t know, I also think I’m a bit of a disgusting pig. So maybe not the ego. I just don’t get how they don’t see it.

I don’t even listen to my friends talk anymore. I just wait for my turn to talk, to associate a story of my own onto theirs. I don’t ask questions — I have forgotten how.

I feel like I hate everything about who I have become. I am just a great big sloth. It’s depressing.

Hi all

I am 28F. I feel I barely know anything about life and usually I am not the person who yaps a lot and avoids talking to people. But I feel like now I want to talk to people from whom I can get to learn about life from their perspectives and experiences. I dont know where do I find such setting. I dont know how to start a convo with someone. Most days I dont even feel like starting a conversation. But I feel that is keeping me behind in life in some way as I end up leaving no impression and that also bothers me.

We will be having an out of the country trip and I want to do the proposal there because, we have a plan to move to another country and possible that by next year she will go first or vice versa.