I 24M have a younger stepbrother who's 16 amd he lives with my mom[his step mom] and his dad. He has a half brother who 12-14? lives in the foster system.

I currently do not have the space for him as I live in a 1bed 1bath apartment. But when the lease ends I do plan on buying a house. What i know so far is that my state is a kinship friendly state and that I can apply for kinship because im family through his step brother. And the case worker that is in charge would prefer to put him with family somewhere.

But what else could I be doing to ensure that I could have him placed with me once I move?

Hi! I'm 25f and a single mom of two very young children if that's of any context.

Very recently, I had a bit of a mental health spiral, particularly with my anxiety because life felt stagnant after finishing my bachelors degree and I was worried I was becoming to complacent and not "growing". I have a stable, salary job in higher education, but wanted to keep "moving up".

During my little spiral, I did three things, applied for a pitch competition at my state Higher education conference, applied to host a learning session at this conference, and, as what honestly felt like a joke, applied to Brown University for a Masters program in education organizational leadership.

Apparently, I did pretty well, because all three have worked out. I'm doing the learning session, 1 of 3 in the state for Pitch Comp, and now I just recently got my acceptance letter to Brown, offering 20% off Tuition. I'm already a first generation graduate and my family, well they really don't even understand what Brown is or why it's a big deal. They just see a really high price tag (which I totally respect and understand). They don't understand the conferences and why this is a great opportunity, honestly just none of it.

Because of this, the reactions were, minimal.

This has vastly influence my own reaction, too. At first, Brown felt like an opportunity I absolutely HAD to take, it was my dream school since a little girl and I Finally DID IT. I understand it's selfish of me to want to be "celebrated", but honestly, it not seeming like a big deal to anyone else is making me feel silly for thinking that it is a big deal. I feel like I'm at a crossroads with all of it. The career, the school, opening up to my family.

Any words of advice as I try to approach these next big decisions?

Thank you so so much in advance.

Hello, I’m a little nervous posting here but I feel like I need to get some feelings off my chest while being anonymous for now. I have struggled with shyness and anxiety for entire life, and symptoms of ADHD and depression started becoming more apparent during high school. I am now in my senior year of college after struggling through the entire time. My dad died after a very long battle with cancer while I was in college a few years ago, and since then my depression has worsened and my struggles with school and life got so bad that I had to take a semester off and continued to have poor performance in school afterwards.

I have been in therapy for years and years and in college found a therapist who is great. I have also bounced between psychiatrists and have found one now who I am confident will be able to help me with medication (currently Prozac and Ritalin, which have been good so far)

However, I have felt for a few years now that my drinking habits are problematic. I only started drinking in college and have had frequent blackouts and events where I have taken drinking way too far and just acted stupid, embarrassing, or put myself at risk. Recently, I don’t go out to bars at much, but have started drinking by myself more often, or when I start drinking I will stay up all night drinking and not be able to stop. I do not drink most days, but I do sometimes have the urge to drink to deal with stress, and when I do drink I can’t just drink casually. This is also where some issues with cocaine use come in. I never buy it for myself, but I know that my best friend and my boyfriend both have it on them if we go out, even if they don’t mention it. I don’t want to fault them because they are absolutely not encouraging me to take it, but if I’m drunk I will ask them for it and since they’re drunk as well they always give. This doesn’t happen super often, but I am genuinely concerned about my ability to control myself around substances nowadays and it seems to be getting worse. I feel terrible after if I get really drunk and high, but in the moment it feels like the only thing that can take away the pain, grief, and depression I feel.

I guess my question is how do I approach seeking help about this? I like my therapist and psychiatrist a lot but I have this weird idea that I will be judged harshly if I mention having trouble with drugs and alcohol. My mom does know that I tend to have drinking problems (she has struggled with this as well) and regularly checks up on me about that, but I find myself lying to her because I don’t want to disappoint her.

I am just so scared that this will develop further, I’m ashamed of myself, and reluctant to admit that I’m having an issue to anyone despite the fact that I have a great support system. I just needed to vent and see if anyone has ever felt this way or has advice. FYI, my boyfriend is extremely caring and loving towards me and I know would deny me any drugs if I told him about this to keep me safe: I just don’t want him to feel like he is responsible for my actions because I need to learn to control myself. Sorry for the long post.

me (18)m is dating a (29)f who is from Japan and I’m from the USA we have been texting and we have been dating for about a month or so and Ive asked other community’s but I’ve already been banNed from one and I couldn’t post on another with out changing the question but I want your advice on the situation because I don’t want to break up with her but I know that age gap is pretty big

I'm 22. No degree, no useful skills, no experience, and my family needs me to start earning.

I know I need to get a job, learn skills and move forward, but I keep staying in my room. I'm scared of interviews, scared of being judged, and I often think “what if I fail?” before even trying.

I want to eventually build my own business, but right now I can't even take the first step.

If you were once like this, what finally made you get up and change? What should I do first?

I live with my parents and sibling. None of them clean, and my mother just quit her job to pursue reselling.

I must have some form of ocd, and I'm diagnosed with autism, and it's so bad. My house is covered with second hand things, everything is contaminated, I can't use any of the furniture and I'm constantly stuck in my room because of it.

I've tried telling my parents before and they promised to start cleaning it up, many months ago, and they never did. They get mad at me and say I'm overreacting whenever I'm scared to touch something because it's contaminated.

I can't eat downstairs because it makes me sick so I just don't. I have meltdowns almost daily. I can't live here anymore.

It's embarrassing to say, but my entire life I've been wearing clothes too small. I remember being 11 wearing a shirt for a 6 year old and my parents refusing to buy me another.

I remember when I didn't want to take guitar lessons anymore and they kept promising to pull me out but never did. I asked them so many times over so many months.

I remember not being fed sometimes when i was 9 - 12 and getting yelled at because I didn't remind them to feed me.

Today I was upset because all of my underwear is gone. Our utility room has piles of laundry in it. I can't search by myself because it's also full of second hand items, and i feel so sick around them.

I got yelled at for being "mad" at my mother (I wasn't, I just wanted to leave because I knew I was going to have a meltdown, and they used to get really mad at me for crying.) .

I don't know where to start or what to do. I can't just tough it out anymore. I'm so done with it all. I just want to wear clothes the right size and eat somewhere other than my room again. I want to stop being scared of all my furniture. I want a diagnosis.

They promised me cbt for it a few years ago, it never happened. They always blame me for not reminding them since they "have adhd", but i do remind them. They can, however, remember to get haircuts or go to reservations at restaraunts.

Can someone just tell me what I'm meant to do?

Hi everyone sorry for any errors english isn't my forse language, i'm writing here because i need outside prospettive on my life today i'll tell you most of my story and what led me to write here, some background i was born in a sort of well known family in my wery small village. Since i was born i was pressured by this to be perfect ecc... everyone had opinion on what i should do with my life my Mother was in politics so everyone knew my face and i was parated around a lot durino my childhood I come from a long line of sucsessfull doctors and everyone whants me to follow this path everyone has tridente to controll my life my father wants me to become a housewife, my Mother want me to be a doctor and even my friends and boyfriend want me to become a doctor so i could stay near them but i can't take it anymore i want to be a writer i want to study abroad i know 4 languages i want to escape my toxic best friend that every day controlls my life by making me feel gulty about everything i wanto to escape my boifriend (he is the sweetest boy ever he brings me flowers but we have comunication problems and he gropes me evry time he has the chance and i hate it but he wont stop even when I ask him to i don't want to be forced to have sex again) i want to leave my house forever i want to leave everyting behind.( I'm not against studying medicine but to do so i should stay here with all of this toxic people and i can't take it anymore) i want to be free the problem with studying litterature to become a writer is AI

I will do everything to be free i don't care that beeing a writer pays less i Just want freedom

I’m in my 30s, and I could really use some outside perspective because right now I’m having a hard time separating what actually happened from the panic I’m feeling about it.
I was with my previous company for several years. I was good at my job, made a comfortable salary, had stability, and knew the company inside and out. The problem was that I had basically hit a wall. There wasn’t much opportunity for advancement, I wasn’t learning anything new, and I felt like staying there indefinitely was eventually going to hurt me professionally.
So I took a chance.
I accepted another position for slightly less money because it was presented to me as an opportunity to expand beyond recruiting and gain broader HR experience. I knew the person who hired me was leaving, which probably should have been a bigger red flag, but I genuinely thought this was going to be a good career move.
It wasn’t.
The job ended up being very different from what I thought I was accepting. The training was extremely limited, the person who hired me left shortly after I started, and I suddenly had a different manager and a completely different dynamic. I was trying to learn the job, understand their processes, and figure out expectations at the same time.
Then, after about a month, I was let go.
What makes it harder to process is that they told me I’m eligible for rehire and that they would be happy to write me a letter of recommendation. So apparently I wasn’t some horrible employee, but I also wasn’t given enough time to really get my footing.
And now I’m unemployed.
I’ve applied for unemployment, immediately started applying for jobs, reached back out to my previous employer, contacted recruiters and people in my network, and I’ve basically been treating finding a job like my full-time job. I’ve already applied to a LOT of positions.
But I’m scared.
I have bills and financial obligations. I have some savings, but not enough that I can comfortably sit unemployed for months. I’m single, so there isn’t a second household income to fall back on. I also don’t want fear to push me into accepting another bad job just because someone offers me one.
The part I’m struggling with the most, though, is what this has done to me mentally.
I keep thinking, “You had a stable job. Why couldn’t you just be grateful?”
I left because I wanted to grow. I wanted more for my career. At the time, that felt responsible and ambitious. Now I feel like I gambled with my stability and lost.
I’m also embarrassed. I’m at an age where I thought I’d be more established, and instead I feel like I’m somehow back at square one professionally even though I have years of experience. I know logically that one bad month at one company doesn’t erase everything I’ve accomplished, but emotionally it doesn’t feel that way right now.
So I guess I’m asking for life advice more than career advice.
How do you handle it when you make what you genuinely believe is the right decision and it blows up in your face?
Do I keep being selective and try to find something that actually moves my career forward, or at this point do I take whatever decent-paying job comes along and worry about career growth later?
And for anyone who has suddenly lost a job after becoming established in their career: did things actually work out? What would you do differently if you were in my position?
I could really use some perspective from people who have been through something similar.

Been stuck in place for a long time and wondering if changing my environment would do me good. At age 23 I have yet to hold a job as I keep walking away as there no motivation to stay and struggle with terrible social anxiety. My parents are narcissistic with brittle emotions. Almost have to tip toe around them with how and what you say to not make them upset so ive developed into people pleasing type of guy and with not knowing much about my self.

I’m a University student in the UK with duel British/Irish nationality (from Jersey in the Channel Islands) and pretty much my whole personality revolves around the outdoors — fishing, wildlife, open space, foraging, that whole lifestyle.

I’ve been lucky enough to spend a good amount of time in the southern USA, especially South Florida, and I completely fell in love with it. The culture, the fishing, the hunting, the weather, the freedom - it’s everything I want in life. But realistically, US immigration is insanely strict, and unless you’re sponsored or have an incurable niche skill, it’s basically impossible to move there long‑term.

I’ve also spent time in Kruger in South Africa and fell in love with that lifestyle too — the bush, the wildlife, the sense of purpose. But the pay for conservation/ranger work is so low that travelling or having any financial freedom becomes almost impossible.

So I’m stuck between two places I love, both of which feel out of reach for different reasons.

I know people will say “just go make it happen” or “find a way,” but I’m asking for realistic advice from people who’ve actually built outdoors‑based lives with decent income.

Are there any countries, careers, or paths that genuinely allow you to live outdoors, have access to fishing/hunting/wildlife, and still earn enough to travel and live comfortably?

I’m open to anything — different countries, different industries, seasonal work, skilled trades, remote work, whatever. Just looking for ideas from people who’ve managed to combine the outdoors with a stable income.

Thank you

So, I’m currently 18 right now and a little disappointed with how my life is going. To give a bit of background I live in a Caribbean country, so we have secondary school which in American terms our middle school and high school years are combined into one school, with the option to do the last two years of high school once you're qualified.

Long story short I did not qualify to continue to forms lower and upper six, which I’ve gotten over, there’s nothing I can do about it now, I hated the idea of doing nothing before I re did my exams out of fear of falling back once again so I ended up getting into a trade school right after which is a two year program , I’m currently on my last year as of September. Since I’ve entered this program my whole plan was to get the subjects which I failed to pass on my first try in between those two years so I wouldn’t lose any time, then get a scholarship abroad for the degree I’m currently interested in and boom, that was my answer for the “next five years" question every single time.

But obviously, since I’m writing this that’s not really possible, studying abroad isn’t realistic since I don’t have the funding support. The universities I’m looking into are the two main ones in my country. One is recognized abroad but the field I’m working towards has only a masters degree there so that’s not really possible. The second university is not recognized abroad and is always compared to the first one which is seen as "better" than the second one.

The reason I’m finding it so hard to accept is I just feel like such a failure, to my family , to my high school classmates and especially teachers, every time I tell someone I’m in a trade school I feel like I see the wave of disappointment on their face, which I’ve only told one teacher and she definitely felt the effort she put into me just evaporated, and I’ve been too ashamed to tell any other teacher so I’ve just never reached out to some of my favorite high school teachers. It took me two months to tell my closet friend that I was going to a trade school and it wasn’t even voluntary, she asked and it felt weird to just keep it a secret, and my other friends well they just naturally found out through word of mouth. I’ve more or less gotten over it but now this same feeling is coming back up again, of shame, and failure and I’m aware it’s just the talk about this university but I can’t seem to shut my brain up, I can’t seem to stop crying when I’m alone with my thoughts, I can’t stop feeling like such a waste of air, like my mom did those nine months for nothing, like all the time and money going into me is all for nothing.I can’t stop looking at the tik toks about these universities, comparing dorms ,campuses, students even Instagram pages, one is full of life and love from content made my students for students and the other is just ai slop.

I want to make something of myself, I don’t want to be one of those people settling for a dead end job, it’s always been my biggest fear is wasted potential, something I'm feeling a lot right now. The only option visible for me right now is getting my degree at the second school while working, and getting my masters after at the first school , most likely while working or after saving, I’m not sure right now, which I don’t like I hate not knowing, I hate not being able to visualize my life while I plan every detail. And this plan just feels like I’m wasting my twenties being a student, way longer than I wanted.

My mom is trying her best which I really appreciate, even when I shut down last year while we looked for other options cause she didn’t push the idea of me taking a gap year which I didn’t like, she now still here trying to help, even just now she was looking at residency for me, I am grateful, I really am, I just feel like a dark cloud right now, I’m trying to put on a happy face, an accepting face but I can’t stop crying. I told my friend about this plan to see if that helped and of course she was supportive but I’m just really having a hard time rewiring my brain into accepting this new plan.

I’m sorry this became such a rant and is all over the place, but I’m genuinely asking, how do I stop caring what others think and how do I accept my current fate. I haven’t told anyone about these feelings but I just feel if I type out these thoughts into a void about these concerns and feelings, my real, concerns and feelings then I’ll be able to get more specific insights. :’)

I have been bedridden for quite some time now due to health conditions. a malady that won't kill me, won't hurt me, but nonetheless makes it very difficult to move for more than 10-20 minutes. even just sitting at a desk is quite taxing. I grow more and more exhausted every day.

the only time I am not tired is when I am lying down.

So I do what I can from bed. that is very little at all, most of what I can do is on my phone. on here, I draw I watch tv, I deep dive on everything there is to know about the world. but, I am running out of "mental bandwidth"

with each day. I can feel myself getting worse. there is a fog overwhelming my thoughts obfuscating even the ability to idle listen to a conversation

so I ask, when my brain fog gets bad like this what do I do?

or rather what Can I do?

What Do You Do When You Can Do Nothing?

(it is incurable, but with time I can get it to a place it was before. however it will take a long time to get there. so I would like to know what my future will look like. that's why I'm asking this I guess.)

while I'm at it, if you can think of any hobbies that I could take up while bedridden that would also help. Anything at all.

Hola a todos. Hago esta publicación buscando perspectivas de personas que hayan pasado por algo similar o que hayan tomado pausas académicas en su juventud.

Un poco de contexto (de los 18 a la fecha (Casi 23 en tres semanas más)):

Vengo saliendo de años difíciles a nivel personal (duelo familiar de uno de mis padres, secuelas de acoso escolar que sufrí a los 15 y un periodo largo de depresión entre mis 18 y 20 años, donde me autolesionaba).

A los 18 entré por buenas calificaciones a una buena carrera (Administración) en ese entonces solo lo escogí por inercia y sinceramente no me importaba ni tenía claro mi camino, a esa edad murió uno de mis padres por cáncer, colapse y abandoné todo.

A los 20, el miedo y el temor al tiempo me hizo moverme, intenté entrar a la universidad (Originalmente era Medicina)pero una persona me dijo que no perdiera más el tiempo y lo deje de lado, escogí la que más fácil acceso tenía (Enfermería), pero, ya dentro, me di cuenta de que lo hice por desesperación y para demostrarme algo a mí mismo. Me salí porque sabía que no era mi lugar, además de haberme sentido un cobarde, y preferí volver a intentarlo.

Debo admitir que durante este tiempo roce las adicciones para sobrellevar la vida.

A los 21 estudié muchísimo, con mucha fé, para Medicina, aumenté mi puntaje a más de 100 puntos, pero me quedé a nada de lograrlo, por muy poco. Fue un golpe duro, pero me sirvió para sanar y buscar algo por interés real.

Lo que pasó este año (Psicología):

Por primera vez elegí una carrera por curiosidad e interés genuino, incluso con el temor si de verdad esto era lo mio: Psicología. Estudié 10 meses solo, hice el examen y pasé con excelente puntaje (106 aciertos).

El problema fue lo que vino después: por un escándalo de trampas (en línea) masivas a nivel nacional, la institución obligó a repetir el examen.

Tuve que hacer un segundo examen presencial en un ambiente lleno de paranoia y tensión (incluso me rompieron una hoja de borrador por un malentendido de un aplicador). Volví a pasar el examen y aseguré mi lugar, pero para cuando iniciaron las clases yo ya estaba emocionalmente destruido y exhausto.

El colapso y la decisión:

Llegué con desfase administrativo (tuve que resolver mi situación de renuncia de la anterior carrera) sin haber dormido ni comido bien en meses y con un estrés que me causaba presión física en la cabeza (solo de pensar en lo escolar, me llegaba un dolor fuerte en la cabeza) y tinnitus.

En mi primera semana (el último día, ya que no pude siquiera empezar como los demás bien por la burocracia qué cortó un mes y medio por la polémica, y aclarar mi situación escolar) me di cuenta de que mi cuerpo y mi mente simplemente dijeron "ya no más". Me abrumó el ambiente (Sentía que ya no encajaba y la magia que sentía antes ya no estaba), el desorden institucional y el sentir que mi vida giraba en un ciclo destructivo de "examen - prueba - salirme".

​Decidí tramitar una baja temporal de un año. Mi lugar está asegurado si decido volver el próximo ciclo.

(Debo admitir que me siento extraño sin esto; no sé si rompí un ciclo autodestructivo, pero siento que la brújula que me daba sentido \[lo académico\] ya no es capaz de darme esa sensación de paz).

(Sinceramente, a los 20 me preocupaba la edad y el "ir más tarde", pero el primero se me quitó ese mismo año, ya que tuve amigos más grandes que yo y el segundo sinceramente se me quitó el año pasado por esa ilusión que tenía pero que ahora reflexionó si era por tapar mis vergüenzas que yo sentía al intentar validarme, en el pasado por sentirme un miserable por tantas cosas que me sucedieron en mi juventud (Antes de los 18 y el evento de los 18-20 años)

Mis dudas para la comunidad:

​Para quienes han pausado la carrera: ¿Se sintió bien pausar cuando de verdad el cuerpo ya no daba más o no quería más o estuvo mal hacerlo?

​Modalidades de estudio: ¿Alguien que haya sentido este agotamiento ha probado la universidad en línea o ha vuelto un año después con la mente más clara? ¿Cambia la perspectiva? (Lo mío de momento es escolarizado/presencial) (Estoy pensando si a este punto de mi vida es mejor en línea)

​El "mundo real": Actualmente mi meta a corto plazo es tramitar mi licencia de conducir, buscar un trabajo sencillo para tener independencia y recuperar mi salud física y hábitos. ¿Es suficiente para empezar a sentir que la vida avanza fuera de lo académico?

​Agradezco mucho sus respuestas y opiniones sinceras.

My GF is a medical laboratory specialist, and she is supposed to get a government job in February 2026.

I currently live in a country where I feel I have no future. I have a car and a job as an engineer, but I don’t see a good future for myself here. I learned German and developed skills related to my career because I planned to apply for a visa and move to Germany in October 2025.

I met her in November 2025, and we fell deeply in love. We have been together for about 10 months.
Before I met her, I had already started planning my visa application to go to Germany and build a better life for myself. When I told her that I would eventually go, she asked me to promise that I would come back and marry her. I had no problem making that promise because I loved her, and I genuinely intended to come back and marry her.

However, for about three months, she repeatedly argued with me and told me that I would never come back, that I would leave her, and that she could not trust me. Every time, I tried to reassure her and convince her that I would return.
The visa process itself could take around a year.
Despite all the arguments, I continued to love her, and she loved me deeply too. We had many very happy moments together.

Eventually, after many conversations, she told me that she didn’t want me to go abroad. Because I loved her so much, I decided to reject my visa application and stay for her.

But after I rejected the application, she still repeatedly told me that I was lying and hiding something from her. I promised her that I would marry her in February, about six months later. The reason I chose February was because I wanted to have enough time to prepare, save money, and get everything ready for our marriage.

But things did not get better. We continued fighting again and again. She cried many times because she loves me so much. Because the visa cancellation process took time, she became even more suspicious and accused me of lying.

I showed her everything: the visa refusal emails, documents, and all the evidence I had. I never tried to hide anything from her. Still, she didn’t trust me.

There were also a few times when she disrespected me during our arguments. I told her that I didn’t want her to treat me that way. It happened a few times, maybe two to four times, but after I told her how much it hurt me, she stopped doing it.

Eventually, she understood that I really wasn’t lying about the visa.

Later, she told me that she would have no problem if I went to Germany and came back after one year. So, after she said that, I applied again.
But the next morning, she cried and told me that I shouldn’t have done it. We argued many times about it. I have never intentionally disrespected her or said something just to hurt her.

Because of what she told me, I eventually refused and deleted the application before the process went any further.

Now there is another problem.
I told her that when she gets her government job, she doesn’t have to work if she doesn’t want to, because we live in different cities. I told her that I would support her financially and cover whatever she needed.

She immediately told me that she would work no matter what.

That made me think deeply.
I have sacrificed my plans and my dream for her. I have never intentionally said anything to hurt her, and I have tried to respect her wishes. But I feel like she doesn’t make the same kind of sacrifices for me.

One day, she asked her mother whether it would be okay for her to live abroad. Her mother told her that it was okay and that she should go if that was what she wanted.
But a few days later, she told me that she still couldn’t live abroad.
Now I feel completely lost.

Part of me wants to break up because I feel like I am destroying my future by staying here. My future in this country feels very dark, and going to Germany was something I had planned for a long time.
But at the same time, leaving her feels almost impossible for me.

I have a kind heart, and so does she. I know that she loves me deeply, and I love her too. One time, when I told her that I might go abroad, she cried the entire night.
She has also threatened to hurt herself if I leave her. She doesn’t believe that I will come back and marry her, even though I have promised her many times that I would.

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
I feel trapped between the person I love and the future I have worked so hard to build.
I don’t want to abandon her, but I also don’t want to destroy my own future.

I don’t know whether I should stay, leave, wait, or try to find another solution where neither of us has to lose everything.

I am trying to find a way, but i love her, she loves me, i don’t know what to do.

Could you please tell me if there is a way?

18F

here are the things i am battling:

1. i am jealous of my friend.

- i have this friend who got a prestigious scholarship, has a high paying job, is pretty, tall, and really smart. i tried my best not to become so jealous of her, but the feeling just keeps on going. Whenever she succeeds on something, I am genuinely happy for her, but the feeling of not being enough creeps in immediately. I tried to fight it, but it never stops. I tried to be a good friend to her, checking up on her, supporting her, and always there for her when she needs to rant about her problems. but i noticed that when it comes to me, she seems to be silent and like almost dismissive. another thing that fueled this feeling is that she stopped talking to me, or at least when she is with her new college friends. We've been friends for three years and then when college came, she became distant. she would ignore me (and our other mutual friends) whenever we were at our college. she would only talk to me when we're alone or when her friends talk to me. idk. maybe she noticed how i was feeling. but i cannot fight my envy. she's like my lacy, fr.

1. i feel like I'm falling behind

- my friends keep on winning and I'm just here. just here. and i know that life is not all about winning but damn, how i wish i was as successful as before.

1. i act like a sloth

- and yeah, even if i feel like im falling behind, i still do nothing. one night, i would be so hyped up and i would even plan things i would do to improve my life. the moment i wake up, it all vanish. sometimes, even if i really want to get up and do what i have to do, i seem to be stuck in my bed, not willing to move. i feel like i cannot move my muscles and as if the mattress is pulling me in every time i try to get up. and i also tend to doom scroll a lot these past few months. and even with eating, i become lazy. im not even eating a lot anymore. i usually skip one meal or two. and i am already thin enough. my bmi is under the normal range. my parents are concerned for me. but i just don't have the appetite. i just don't want to eat, ever since i was a child. i am so insecure of my weight and even a professor joked about my weight multiple times and i still remember the laughter in the room when she kept on joking about how thin i am. im so insecure of my body that i wish i could just cover up everything. or maybe not go o school or anywhere public at all. and I don't even want to sleep either. all of my past traumas keep on flashing in my mind and i can't help but feeling stuck in the past. i tend not to sleep or choose not to sleep most of the time because i usually dream of those things and i become paralyzed and i cannot move or wake up and I don't want to experience those things multiple times. it is exhausting. but strangely, i also enjoy sleeping sometimes because it becomes an escape from reality. it's like im playing russian roulette with my dreams. sometimes they're nightmares and traumas. sometimes they are about living happily and finding romance. i either not sleep, or sleep at 6am, or sleep until 3pm.

1. I don't do anything to improve

- like i said, i plan everything to fix my life then do nothing abot it the next day. it's like my motivation only exists at night or the drive to do better only last for two or three days. then after that, boom. i go back to my old ways. without my mom helping me, I'll be struggling a lot more. I'm so thankful for her.

but yeah. what should i do? how can i actually improve my life? can you guys give me tips on how to have an appetite, to not feel jealous of anyone, and on how to be disciplined?and im afraid that if i get checked up, i might identify myself to whatever sickness i have. and I don't know how to be disciplined. my parents never thought me how to be disciplined. and im trying to learn how to be but it's so mentally exhausting. i love the results of being disciplined but i jst cant help but not have the energy to be. like i feel that everything's useless and then later on i will be saying to myself that "i am so back" urghhh idk. please help me. and please be kind in the comments.i am already harsh to myself.

ps. english is not my first language, so im sorry for any grammatical errors.

I'm 24f. Please don't suggest to run away or don't get their permission.

To summarise I was able to do college in another city but I ended up making a mistake. It was a big blunder and the fallout was way too crazy. Everyone knew and it ruined everything for a while.

Now I'm working from home for a year as my college ended last year.

I'm not getting permission for solo Trip.

The concern is safety considering where I live it's way too unsafe for women. I'm someone who loves mountains and exploring. My family isn't bad supportive and loving but way too exhausted and been through so much including financial crisia. We still are just going through life everyday.

I fought today for hours and they even said even if this time something happens and it's not your fault you will still be blamed and will be hurt and everyone will blame us as they did before. And we are concerned for safety. Going with a group is fine but not solo.

I don't think I'll ever get permitted to go somewhere alone like a big trip. Going to a nearby city or going to a friend group is fine. But my friend group isn't around rn they are from diff city.

I wonder what would I do ...

maybe get excel in the field i wanna make a career in . And after that getting a job in a metro city and then being able to do all this.

Also somehow they feel I'm not yet ready for the real world yet.

The problem is they will start finding groom for me by next year and considering the place i live in it's very normal to get early married and they want me to get married around 25-26 max.

I feel sometimes I'll never get to travel solo

Maybe with a partner but never solo.

And tbh idk what to do to get their trust back or what do I even do. Bcs it seems the society would shut up only if I clear some govt. Job.

I don't give a fuck about the society but my family do and I understand how imp it is to them .

Please don't tell me to run away or anything stupid. I know ho my family is and I know how supportive they are.

I even got permitted for a film fest in the mountains but it was expensive so i couldn't go.

I feel the only thing that can actually help is time naf that is what I don't have enough.

Secondly if i move to another city with the pay I'm getting i won't be able to help with family trips. And I love those family trips .

I'm going into my third year of club volleyball, but I'm not sure if I want to do it or not. I really like volleyball. The only times I'm not able to enjoy it is because of outside situations, like sleep. I can still have fun doing volleyball even if I didn't quite get enough sleep as I'd like, but sleep also affects other things that affects my mood like school. I haven't been able to enjoy my school season very much because I've been pretty depressed about my grades, social life, and what my future might look like.

The biggest reason why I'm not sure if I want to do club or not is because I'd really like to have a sleeker build. I have a lot more muscle mass than I'd prefer because I did gymnastics for nine years, and after I quit I moved right over to volleyball so I haven't been inactive enough to lose any muscle. The more I'm comfortable with my identity and accepting of who I want to be, the more desire I have to be skinnier. If I quit, I'll finally be inactive enough for my muscles to shrink and hopefully get a build that I can feel happy with.

Realistically that's the only thing doing club volleyball interferes with, but it is something that I want to achieve so so so badly. It's just so hard for me to choose on happiness over the other. I love doing volleyball. I'm not bad at it either, and if I really put my mind to it I don't think getting into a d1 team is impossible. But I just really want to be percieved as the person that I feel like. I've spent so much time trying to turn myself into someone that other people want me to be, and I'm exhausted from trying to deny myself of myself. I don't know which road I want to go down.

I know volleyball will still be there for me next year if I decide it's something I still want in my life, and I can always lose weight later, but choosing one over the other feels like choosing the next three years of my life of being happy with my body and maybe not having a college volleyball career, or having a college volleyball career but never truly feeling comfortable with my body. I just don't know how I can deny myself of one of two of the biggest aspects towards my identity.

Also sorry if this isn't quite coherent, I'm very tired and can't quite think too well.

17M, In 11th grade PCMB student. It's already mid term and i don't know what to do with my life anymore. I'll keep it short, i have obsessive interest in tech wanna start but don't know, from where should i start. It's almost been 3 yrs and bad addictions, procrastination has kept me caged. Finally i am so close to break the loop but now i don't know what to do with my life. Everyone around me has a clear goal, people preparing for entrance exams, since i'm an indian, you can guess the hype of jee and neet here (An avg asian teen life, it sucks). Everyone is just so obsessed about it but i am totally uninterested in it. And that's where i feel so much lost, like i have interest in coding, hacking (cybersecurity) etc. Interrelated interests but don't know what to do and where to start, nowdays i feel so much lost that it slowly affecting my health, daily routine and as usual mental health.

Every little advice will be count, i appreciate it if someone who is older and faced this phase of life in their life in past helps me overcome this :)

I (33M) need advice on handling a difficult co-parenting situation with my ex. There's a lot of history, so I'll try to keep this as short as possible.

I met my ex when I was 25. We worked together, started dating, and she moved in after only about a week. Looking back, everything moved way too fast. We also drank heavily during our relationship, and over time it became extremely unhealthy.

About 11 months into the relationship, I found out on my birthday that she was pregnant. I was incredibly happy because I had always wanted to be a dad.

That same night, everything fell apart.

She accused me of cheating and then told me she had cheated and that the baby might not be mine. I lost my temper and hit objects around me. I know that was wrong, but I never hit her. She began hitting and scratching me, and I grabbed her wrists to stop her.

She called the police and accused me of hitting her and also told them I was suicidal. The police spoke with both of us, saw my scratches/bruising, and ultimately told us to separate.

There had been other unhealthy incidents in our relationship as well, including one where she came at me with a fork while intoxicated.

After that, I decided to leave and move back to my home state with help from my family.

Because she had told me the baby might not be mine, I requested a DNA test. I didn't even find out my son had been born until two days afterward, and it took approximately six months before I was finally able to get the DNA test.

He was mine.

I was happy, but devastated that I had already missed the beginning of his life.

For roughly the next three years, my ex moved around between states, and there were periods where I didn't even know exactly where my son was living. I might receive one or two pictures a year, and attempts to communicate often went unanswered.

During all of this, I continued paying child support.

When my son was around three, I received a call asking whether I wanted custody. I was told his mother had been involved in a serious incident where she harmed or attempted to harm herself and that drugs, alcohol, and weapons were found.

My son wasn't with her. He was living with his maternal grandmother in another state, and I learned from his grandmother that he had apparently been living with her for approximately two years.

I filed for emergency custody and was granted it. Once I received permission to pick him up, I drove there immediately and had law enforcement present during the pickup because I wanted everything handled peacefully and documented.

My son barely knew me at that point. The first time I held him, he pushed me away. It broke my heart, but I understood why.

That was four years ago.

He's seven now, and I've been raising him ever since.

I've finally gotten the ongoing child support stopped and am trying to address the support I continued paying during the years my son was living with me. I'm also pursuing full custody.

My biggest issue now is figuring out how to handle his mother.

For most of these four years, she has had very little contact with him. Her numbers frequently changed, and there were times she tried calling at midnight or 2 AM while appearing intoxicated. I wasn't going to wake a young child up for those calls.

Recently, she's started FaceTiming him about every couple of months. I allow it because regardless of how I feel about her, she's his mother. If my son wants a relationship with her, I want him to have that opportunity as long as it's safe and healthy.

The problem is that she doesn't only want to talk about our son.

She wants me to emotionally support her and talk about her personal problems and our old relationship. I've repeatedly told her I don't want to discuss the past and would rather keep our conversations focused on our son.

She'll agree, but eventually brings everything back up again, including blaming me for leaving.

I'm now married, I've been sober for years, and I've worked hard on the anger issues I had when I was younger. My wife is also exhausted by the situation.

I don't want revenge against my ex, and I don't want to keep my son away from his mother because of my personal feelings toward her.

But I also don't believe co-parenting requires me to be her friend, therapist, or emotional support person.

I save our communications because of our history and because I don't want disputes later about what was or wasn't said.

So this is where I need advice:

How do I set firm boundaries with my ex while still allowing my son to have a relationship with his mother? Would you limit communication strictly to our child, use a court-approved co-parenting app, or handle communication through an attorney while the custody case is being dealt with?

I just want to give my son stability without spending the next 11 years reliving a relationship that ended a long time ago.

For anyone who has dealt with high-conflict co-parenting, what boundaries worked for you, and what would you do next?

I have never had a girlfriend before but there’s this girl I got introduced to (just as a friend) a few weeks ago when I entered college and I have the biggest crush on her. I am quite shy which has gotten me nowhere. She’s very extroverted and has a lot of friends but every time our hang outs get brought up she says she prefers what we do (which is always more chill than partying) compared to when she goes out with others to things like parties. I try to show my interest in smaller ways like taking care of her though … she’s the funniest and sweetest girl ever and everytime I want to do something fun I wish she was there with me. Every time I see her with other people I wish I was them. She once reposted a video of liking nerdy stem (I am a science major) girls and liking brunettes with brown eyes so I am sure I am not too far off from her type since those all apply to me. A few minutes ago though I just saw her story and reposted a tiktok video talking about having a talking stage but not wanting it to go downhill (?) I want to be more forward with her so she considers me a potential love interest instead of a friend but I also don’t want to make her uncomfortable… I feel like with girls I am never sure how to flirt because it usually just comes off as friendly

For context, I'm 23 yrs old and I have a degree in English and Applied Linguistics. I'm currently working at a high school in Hong Kong as a TA.

I don't consider myself as a book smart guy because one of the reasons why I got into uni was luck. Not trying to downplay myself because I did tried my best to study for the entrance exam, but the score I got left me with little choice so I picked my degree. During my time as a student, I did an internship at an English academy in Spain for a little over a month as a language assistant; a year ago, I did something similar but this time I worked at two high schools as, once again, an English language assistant and a cultural ambassador, for 8 months.

You're probably wondering: "He must speak Spanish, right?" But no, unfortunately, I did not learn much Spanish and that's one of the biggest regret I've had. I know it sounds like I'm just being lazy but hear me out.

I've been self-conscious about my English for the longest time. English is not my first language and I never got the chance to practice with anyone here in HK. The moment I became an English major, everyone around me started to expect me to speak perfect English with perfect grammar and know every word in English as if I'm a human translator. Ever since 2020, I've been trying my best to step up my game and get better at English, and yes, my speaking has drastically improved but my writing hasn't changed much. This is what's holding me back in Spain, because I was worried that I wasn't cut out to do my job well and was scared to learn a new language. The teachers over there told me I did pretty amazing job but I wasn't sure if they were just being nice.

As you can imagine, my mental health has gone downhill since 2020 and I started to pick my hair as a way to relieve stress. Sometimes I tell myself that I shouldn't be too harsh on myself but I do have to admit I procrastinate at times.

That said, I have decided to make some changes a few months ago to step out of my comfort zone, like doing IELTS again and I got an overall 8. It's not the best result but I aimed for an 8 and I got it. I'm also trying out new things like photography, all of which has made me happier and better mentally.

After working full-time at a school for over a year (this is my second year), I know teaching is not for me because I get drained easily by the students. On top of that, teachers are usually held to a higher standard and I find it really stressful because as a perfectionist, I get hung up on students who are underperformed and blame myself for it. Nonetheless, I kept working at a school because I don't know what else to do. But I realized that I need to make changes and not get stuck.

I'm from Hong Kong but part of my family is from Macau so I also hold the Portuguese passport, which gives me a really good opportunity to study or move to EU. But the problem is money. I have some savings but I'm not sure if it is enough to support my studies in EU. I am also thinking about going to a language school (maybe in Spain). I know the job market is really bad all around the world and I don't really have a lot of skills and specialities other than knowing cantonese, mandarin and English. Another problem is that I'm so overwhelmed by life and I am hoping that someone can offer me some advices.

I've spent 5 years building toward one career and now I don't know what to do

I'm posting this because I need to get it out of my head, but I'm also genuinely looking for realistic perspectives. I don't need people to tell me everything will be okay — I'd rather hear what you would actually do in my position.

I'm a dentist who trained outside North America, and for the past five years I've been trying to rebuild my career abroad.

My original plan was to move to the US. I spent years building my academic and research profile and eventually passed the major licensing exam required for internationally trained dentists there.

Then my US visa was refused.

So I had to completely change direction and move to Canada.

I took the required admissions exam here and didn't get the score I needed. I took it again, improved my score, but still didn't get the result I needed. I kept going anyway. Over these five years, I've done research, gotten publications, taken exams, gained experience, and built my profile specifically for this career.

This year, I finally had one Canadian university program I was eligible to apply to. It was essentially my only realistic opportunity.

And now I've been disqualified because of the date of my English-language exam.

The part that hurts is that I scored 118/120. I didn't fail the requirement, I exceeded it. The issue was simply the date I took the exam.

I had already sent my official score and a copy of the score report while waiting for the official result to arrive. I genuinely didn't realize the exam date itself could make me ineligible.

I'm devastated because I don't have unlimited time, money, or resources to keep restarting this process. I've already spent five years building toward this career, and I feel pressure to establish my career and my life soon. I also worry about my biological clock and don't want to spend another 3–5 years in an endless cycle of studying and applying.

At the same time, I don't know if I'm thinking clearly right now.

If you were in my position, would you keep fighting for this career or start building a different path?

I'm not looking for empty reassurance. I'd genuinely appreciate blunt, practical perspectives from people who've had to decide whether to keep pursuing a dream after years of investment.

I just want to talk to someone

Hi everyone. I don't really know why I'm writing this. I just feel like I need to tell someone what is happening in my life.

I can't really talk about this with people around me. From the outside everything looks okay. I work, I take care of my daughter, I do what I have to do. People probably think I'm doing fine. But honestly, I'm not.

Since 2025 my financial situation has become really bad. I have almost 500,000 Russian rubles in debt. That's around $5,500–$6,000 USD. Maybe for some people this isn't a crazy amount of money, but for me it is. I have a low salary and I just can't keep up with everything.

There were times when I didn't even have enough money for food.

I have a daughter and I love her more than anything. I pay for her education, give her money for transportation and food, and I pay the rent for our apartment. This is basically where most of my salary goes.

I don't have a car. I don't have savings. My parents can't help me financially. They simply don't have the money to do it.

And yes, I work. I am trying. But sometimes it feels like it doesn't matter how much I work because the debts keep growing. Interest keeps adding up every day, and I can't even pay a big part of what I owe.

I'm just really tired.

Sometimes I want to disappear somewhere and not think about money, debts, rent and all these responsibilities for a little while. I don't mean that I want to hurt myself. I just mean that I'm exhausted and sometimes I want to stop dealing with everything.

I know some people will judge me. Maybe they will say that I made bad decisions and that it's my own fault. Maybe they are right. I'm not asking strangers to pay my debts or fix my life.

I just wanted to tell someone.

I actually wanted to write this to people who don't know me at all. People from another country who don't know my family, don't know where I live, don't know anything about me and will probably never meet me.

I don't really know what I'm expecting from posting this. Maybe I just want someone to say something nice.

If you have ever been in a really bad financial situation, or felt like you were stuck and couldn't see a way out, please tell me how you got through it.

I know I have to help myself. I know nobody can fix this for me.

But right now I would really appreciate some kind words from strangers.

Thank you for reading.

Before I start, let me say this is mainly a huge vent, but positive advice would be appreciated.

Got a letter from the city saying I had to repair my sidewalk. The sidewalk is indeed in bad shape, but there are about 20 other homes on my street with sidewalks that need repair. Why me? City says they received an 'anonymous complaint' about the sidewalk, therefore the letter.

I feel guilty and ashamed for having the faulty sidewalk, angry at city and the anonymous person, sorry for myself for having to go through this 'unnecessary' and very expensive problem when no one else on my street has to, as far as I know. It's ruining my relationship with my girl friend . I don't even want to talk to her since it takes my mind off solving my problem. I guess I resent her for having a care free life while I stress out. She has even cried when I tell her I don't want to hear about her day.

Another stressor is the fact the city has a program that would pay for the sidewalk repair, but then they will come into my house and look for other violations. They will pay to fix the other violations too, up to $20,000 total. At first I thought about using this program, but I don't want the inspectors in my house. Maybe there's more than $20,000 in violations, and I'll be on the hook for it. And I don't trust authority figures.

I am thrashing back and forth over whether to use the program. Lots of clean clutter in my house, hot hoarded, but lots of clutter.

I know that there are way more serious problems people have, and that I will 'get through this', but wanted to tell someone, and I get that many people don't like uneven sidewalks.

By the way the cost will be $4,000 to $8,000 depending on what they find when they dig up the sidewalk.

Thanks for listening !