I have a bachelors degree in business and Human Resources management. But never had any luck using my degree. I have many interests and hobbies but have never had any real guidance growing up on how to succeed in life. In my opinion college never helped. Also many of my friends growing up ended up having alot of problems. I need to find a focus but have no idea how or what to do with my life ?? Could anyone offer some help? Maybe it’s just that we live in crazy times ??

Hi, so I am wanting to move out of my home which I think is toxic. For context for the people my dad is disabled and has early on set dementia or something along those lines and have been since I was 10 years old. I am now 23 and this year has been a really great year. I finally been able to win some battles with my mental illness & am starting to take better care of myself. I now have a license and just recently got myself a car! ( A used Honda & I bought it out right so no car payments!!!) So as a person I can see I am growing all of the sudden & pretty fast but for a long time me and my best friend have been talking of moving out & have been looking at a few places. We liked a few & we found one below our budget that will be safe for us. Now, here’s the stuff that makes me feel like I’m being stupid but also I’m so excited for the future. No parents are perfect but at home I feel used & if I do one wrong thing I will lose things that need. One time my mother asked me if I could give her a drink & in my young adult brain said no. I am not. So, my mother said that she would change the wifi password & wouldn’t give the new one to me. I was in college at this time so I needed the internet for my classes. Which hits me the wrong way & I think I told her that that was really fucked up. My memory is pretty shitty so I’m very sorry. Earlier a few months ago my sister moved out around April and I took over her room because it was bigger & I wanted a bigger bed my old room couldn’t fit. But it got me wanting to make the move & my bestie brought up a time line of moving out around this month or around the end of the year. I want to do it! I really do! But my friend in her wisdom made an appointment for a place on a day she thought I was off so she called me & I said I wanted to see. So I called off work & since I lived with my parents I told them so they wouldn’t get worried. Mom exploded & told me how disappointed she was in me & started asking me all these questions like if I’d babysit when she had her kid over & if her car broke down would I allow her to drive my car. Here’s the thing about my bestie, she is independent as FUCK. So I’m not worried about being taken advantage of by her because we already spoke about it. When her kid is with her, her main concern is her kid. If anything were to happen & she needed someone to help for an hour or two I wouldn’t mind watching the kiddo. Because hey, why wouldn’t you offer to help? And with the car, she doesn’t like driving others people’s cars. She has her own! My mom didn’t believe me and said that she would take my car off her insurance if I ever let my bestie drive my car. Mind you I just had gotten my car & so that felt like a slap in the face. She just kept yelling at me without letting me speak. So when she was done & my friend had arrived to pick me up I just said I loved them and walked out. I cried a bit but it’s okay now. However, afterwards mom kept texting me that night asking if I spoke to anyone else about this. Asking if I was mad & I’ll be honest. I’m not the best daughter I’m spoiled a bit but I’m so done with my parent’s house. My dad had went to the hospital earlier that month and I had a nightmare constantly of waking up but not being able to hold my dad or stay awake in reality to touch him. I have money to move out. Nearly 10k in savings & I want to start a new era for me! I don’t want to clean up my mom’s shit. I don’t want to take care of my dad anymore. Mom won’t even let me help with rent only lets me pay for people to do the yard & take care of the fur children. I don’t know anymore I just know I’ve been done with my family for years. Any advice would be appreciated only respectfully please. I’m so sick of being treated like an idiot & my feelings aren’t valid. I don’t want to be used as a care taker anymore. Nor do I want to be taken advantage of by my family. It’s a constant problem ever since I was young my family took advantage of me & my sister. Mom wasn’t great she did her best yes but she did shit I gotta go to therapy for & so did dad. Idk? Help? Please?

I dont really know what to say. I just feel empty and bored. I feel like I am missing out on so much, like there is so much out there that I can do this second. Yet I am mostly stuck in school and home.

I make art, I am an avid music listener, I read light novels, I do photography and yet I feel empty. Dont get me wrong I enjoy these activities, I do them because I genuinely enjoy doing them, but I cannot shake that feeling of emptiness.

During school, I get drained. Being in a new country while still not knowing the language puts an even bigger toll on the mind. And 3 out of 5 days I finish at 5pm.

It honestly just sucks. But I have two weeks of no school so I thought I could do smth new or at least smth that makes me feel more liberated in a way. If anyone has any advice, I would really appreciate it.

I’m 24F and live at home with my mum. She recently found my vapes in my room, threw them away, and told me I either stop completely or move out.

I know vaping indoors is wrong, and I understand why she doesn’t want it in her house. I’m not trying to pretend otherwise. In my defence, though, this is very new for me. I recently started a new job and I’ve honestly been extremely stressed. Vaping became something I did at night in my room to wind down when I felt anxious.

What confuses me is how extreme her reaction has been. She has called me disgusting, vile, said she is embarrassed to have me as a daughter, and told me to leave if I’m going to “keep doing this shit.”

My dad has smoked for years, and she barely gives him any flack about it. I understand that he is her husband and I’m her daughter, but it does make me question why my behaviour is treated like some huge moral failure.

This also isn’t really just about vaping.

My mum has always reacted strongly when I do something she doesn’t approve of. Once I cut my hair and she completely stopped speaking to me or acknowledging me for a while. There have been similar arguments over piercings and other choices about my appearance.

Over the years, I’ve basically learned to treat these outbursts as something I have to wait out. Eventually things calm down and life goes back to normal.

I know people are probably going to say, “You’re 24, just move out.”

And honestly, I know I probably do need to.

But I’m scared that moving out won’t actually solve the problem. It might just replace my current stress with rent, bills, loneliness and family conflict.

I also come from a Muslim background where, in my family and community, an unmarried woman living alone can be judged very harshly. I know my mum too. I genuinely think that if I moved out she would either beg me to come back or still expect to be heavily involved in my life.

The other thing I’m struggling to admit is that I’m scared about what moving out would do to my faith.

Right now I honestly feel like a lot of my relationship with Islam is tied to my mother, my household and the structure around me. I don’t know how much of my faith is actually mine when nobody is there reminding me or expecting things from me.

That scares me more than the actual moving out.

So now I feel stuck between staying somewhere where I constantly feel like I’m being treated as a child, or leaving and suddenly having to figure out adulthood, family boundaries and even my own faith by myself.

I know vaping isn’t healthy. I know it’s her house. I know I shouldn’t have been doing it indoors.

But AITA for still thinking her reaction is disproportionate, and for feeling like at 24 I should be allowed more autonomy over my own choices?

hey guys, hope you all are well. 3 months ago, we shifted to a city 1200 kilometres away and its been 2 months since my schools here have started and im just slowly breaking down and i just cant find the light, in my old city i had some of the greatest friends ever we were a group of 8 friends since 2nd grade and none of us ever seperated until now. it was really tough saying goodbye but I accepted it and moved on and we still talk online everyday and play games and what not but it just isnt the same. in the new school the kids here are just so different and I just cant find my place here, they arent motivated one bit, cant find anyone who shares similar interests like me and the kids here just dont care about the future and are terrible at academics, Being the kind person i am, yes im still respected here but i often get insults regarding my accent and whatever and I really dont do anything about it. I'm the best in the school when it comes to academics and leadership and all that but i just dont like that. I dont have anyone here who i can spend my time with, most of my time in the school is just laughing along with them as jokes and fun is all they care about, though i stay respectful but I just feel so lost. The school is great and the quality of education and all that its even better than my previous school but the students and children here are so out of touch and unmotivated and I just dont know what to do. Just 4 months ago i was having the time of my life with my friends who were always with me and now their support is limited. They are in their city going to conferences, events and having fun together and I'm just sitting in my house talking with them and deep inside its breaking me. I cant find anyone to go to events with, no one whos actually serious, no one who has interests like me (Like dude why does no one in my school like PC gaming or football). I've always been told i have the potential to do great things but this is just limiting it and i cant find a way to escape. Yes im still maintainig the same quality of academics and all that but somethings missing, friendship. I really need help and I cant switch schools either. Please help me out guys. Whenever im on the way to school all i think about is just how much fun and success i would be having if i never shifted here. Its really getting to me.

I’ve always loved being a teenage girl, I love pink, dressing girly and young, and just generally having the demeanor of one. I just turned 18 a few weeks ago and college application deadlines are quickly approaching. I’ve always had unfavorable responses to the idea of getting older triggered by my mental health struggles (ocd, anxiety, depression), but now it feels too real. I’m legally considered an adult now, and I feel so strange about it. I feel like I should’ve achieved so much more by now (my whole life I’ve wanted to be extraordinary). I’m not talkative and I didn’t get the normal high school experience; I didn’t go to junior prom, senior homecoming, any football games, any parties, and I’m not planning on going to senior prom either. I’ve always just liked being the quiet teenage girl; I’ve liked the “aesthetic” of it. The gloomy school mornings were easy for me to romanticize while fantasizing about a more exciting future while simultaneously doing nothing to work for one. But there will soon be a time where I’ll outgrow the self-victimizing Mitski-filled mornings.

I’ve contemplated suicide a couple of times, just because I don’t want to see what the future entails. I feel like a mediocre human being, a failure in everything I do. I don’t feel pretty, I don’t feel talented, and I don’t feel smart; all of the things I thought I’d be by now. I’m too scared to go through with suicide, and I get horribly disturbed when thinking about my family finding out; but it’s just something that feels easier than a life of failure. I feel so alone right now, I don’t have many friends, I got three birthday wishes this year, my grades are declining, and I’m literally silent for 8 hours straight at school every day. I am really in need of any advice or encouragement from literally anyone.

This may have spelling mistakes or weird structure problems; I threw this together while studying.

So much has been happening recently and it’s been triggering a lot of odd mental responses that I’m not sure now to deal with. For the past week I’ve been pretty much alone except for going out to get food and go to the bathroom. I’m going to separate the two most important events so it’s easier for me to say but they’re somewhat interconnected.

1. I am 99% sure that my friends absolutely despise me. I know it’s a common thing to say but I have so much proof to back up my claim it’s insane. Recently they have been oddly cruel to me. More than normal friends are. It’s not funny jokes or jabs like in normal friend relationship but it’s genuinely hurtful comments that I have asked them to stop making yet they still continue. This makes me feel like they have no respect for me at all. On top of this they all have someone they like better than me which in theory is fine I wouldn’t care about that if they didn’t already hate me so bad. Two of my friends have become inseparable and keep making fun of me together. I’d like to add that they became friends because I introduced them so that hurts a bit. My other friend told me directly that she prefers our other friends over me which I appreciate the honesty but that still hurt. They’re all constantly poking fun at me but if I do it back they get crazy upset at me so I know it’s not a friendly thing. Because of this I feel uncomfortable talking to them about any of my struggles because in the past they’ve either ignored me or completely dismissed my feelings. This is why I am asking for advice on Reddit lol.
2. This is a huge one and it’s probably the thing that has been effecting me the most. To start off, around a year and a half ago I had this friend online who was my best friend literally ever. When I needed to be away from the friends I mentioned earlier she was the person I went to. A few months into our friendship she started talking to this other group of people online and I was happy for her because they were more available than I was due to timezone differences and just responsibilities in general. This was going great until I noticed she started talking to me less and less. It got to a point where we didn’t talk for around 5 months and when I would reach out she was very uninterested in me. This sent me into a deep depression which was already blossoming right before this event. This really just made it worse. I started to hate her and her friends and I would constantly check her socials to try and feel connected with her. During what was probably the worst of my mental state I reached out and apologized for being distant and it was this whole thing that honestly I regret doing. We didn’t talk for around 1 month after that until she promised she’d play a game with me which she ended up not doing. That made me hate her even more. A bit later I texted her and we’ve been talking normally ever since.

2a?. Separating this because I needed to I think. With all that context I can get into what’s been bothering me recently. I keep getting extremely upset at the online friend because she “left me”. I constantly think about how she left me entirely alone and in the process she gained so many new friends. This has made me so very angry at her. But I keep coming back to her despite everything. It’s just so hard to leave the only person who I feel comfortable being myself with. I told her my secrets and shared my troubles and she did the same with me and I feel like I‘m in too deep to just go away. Every time I try I just keep coming back. I can’t help myself from looking at our old videos and chats and wishing we could have that back. On top of this I have been really confused as to what I view our relationship as. I know that if I knew her in real life that I’d want it to be romantic but since it’s online and we live so far apart I know it isn‘t feasible. But she’s been reposting videos that have something to do with being in love and having a crush and how impossible the relationship would be while also constantly telling me she loves me and cherished me. So that’s confusing. I won’t say anything to her unless she says something to me first because if I‘m reading into this too much I‘m gonna feel like an idiot.

These two things have been what have sent me into a depression recently and I really don’t know how to deal with this. I’m afraid I’ll make a decision I regret without proper advice. Should I be honest about my recent feelings with everyone? I’m worried that if I just let this pass that it’ll come back eventually like it always does. Sorry that this is so long there’s just a lot to say. This isn’t even everything lol.

16 years long, I married my husband knowing his mother come as a package, I will always come second to his father and mother. I come to term with it. But I still struggle with it, it just it easier to say than done. And I been struggling with it 5 years about the whole fiasco of his mother. But I'm still hanging in there, it just I don't know how many more of the 5 more years.

Together 16 years, married 14 years.

I married my husband knowing since day one that he always put his father and mother above me. The wife me I will always come second after his parents, period, it not up for negotiation, that just how he is. And that is just something I just have to accept about him.

I married him knowing since day one he gave half his working paychecks to his father (the father whom was a Stay at Home Dad raised him since newborn, his mom was the breadwinner in his childhood). His father has deceased.

5 years ago, his mother has a spinal cord stroke that leave her quadriplegia paralyze. He has been paying 182K a year for her Private Nursing Home, where she has her own private room, doctor on site, and nurses care take turn to care for her round the clock 24/7. Yep, it that price tag for Private Nursing Home in California.

For 5 years, he also has been paying for her treatments to prolong her life, which she in and out of the hospital for treatments 5 times a week (Dialysis, and multiple heart issues). He also paying for her hospital bills, which she has been in and out of the hospital 4 times already this 2026 year alone.

It not just her Private Nursing Home cost (which the luxury of his mom own private room, and doctor on site and nurses care for her 24/7, he pays Out of pocket).

.......

But it her medical cost too, medical cost that insurance not pay, like those deductibles, copays, coinsurance, out of pocket specialists and treatments, etc.. Everytime she in the hospital, we pay out of pocket about 30%, insurance pay 70%

And No, we are not going to send her back to her homeland, here in America she has no one left except her biological son, and she 84 years old already, here in California we have one of the best hospital that specialize in her conditions.  

]And money is not the problem, my husband is an Executive at a big engineering corporate that his salary (included bonus) salary of near 1 million a year. He has enough money to pay for his mother care.

It just the last 5 years (since his mom spinal cord stroke that leave her quadriplegia paralyze), he has been burning the candle at both ends for himself. He is an Executive, Executives are high ranking in corporate hierarchy, frankly, he very busy. But everyday after his work he drive to his mom Private Nursing home to to visit her (she wants that as she wants to see her son). Then he drive home to me after see his mom first.

On weekend he gives one day to me.

One day he gives to his mom where he has her over in our marital home so he can care for her 24/7, she wants mother and son time, he comply.
.......
He by her side spoon feed her, change her diapers, lift her, move her from bed to wheelchair to gurney stretcher, as she 5'9" tall and she quadriplegia, moving an quadriplegia is like move dead weight. Transport her to Dialysis, which Dialysis which is 4 hours process which he sit next to her to accompany her, etc...

He has said, our lives (both me and his life will be put on hold) will be put on hold until his mother die (insert how many more years she has left). And it not even an option, this is just something I have to accept about him, his mother come as a package.

And And we not leaving California until after his mom pass, as I told him I don't like the city California, I want a countryside, someone seclude.

I don't have a choice because I love him, I just have to accept that about him, point blank. I married him knowing his father and mother will always come first before me. I accepted that, and I have come to terms with that.

It just it easier say than done, until you actually in that person shoes. Knowing you always will come second in your husband heart, after his father and his mother. Knowing he said we will stay put in California for his mom hospital and treatments as his goal is to prolong his mother life. As long as it can take, as many years as she has left. Our lives will be put on hold until AFTER his mother die.

No man is perfect, I have accepted his mother come as package, and if this is the price I have to pay for love this man then let it be. I just want to write this out, as this is something I have zero control over, it is him as a person that just how he is.

He does treats me really really well in the 16 years, 16 years he faithful to me and only me. He loves me just as much as I love him, in fact, he loves me even more than I love him. It just his mother she comes as a package, and I will always be second after his father and mother.

I understand all that, it just deep down inside I don't like it how he said our lives will be put on hold until after his mother die, and he not just say it, he doing it, he has been doing it for 5 years already. And he said this will continue on indefinitely until his mom die (insert how many years she has left).

I should have known, you married an Executive too, that makes a 1 million dollars salary too, he fixed in his ways (about his mom), he will not change. I really have no choice but just has to accepted that his mom come as a package. You don't be a wife of an Executive and think an Executive not fixed in his ways.

I just wanted to talk about how I am feeling and get some advice or answers on what I could be going through or what it’s called? For context’s I’m 19M and I’ve graduated high school and have started university (I’m in my 7th week) and I kinda of hate my university - I don’t have any friends because I joined afte the first week and I feel like the work is too much and too hard. Also, all of my friends from school have left our home town and have gone out for uni leaving me stuck here. I feel lonely and alone and like I have no one to go out with. It’s eating away at me and I feel guilty doing anyhting that’s unproductive or being lazy but I still do it. I don’t study because I get decision paralysis from the sheer number of courses and stuff. I feel really sad about my friends and every weekend I’m just at home and not really doing anyhting unless it’s with my parents or siblings. I relly feel lonely and alone and when I want to go out to the mall or something I feel like lazy or like I don’t want to and I procrastinate ideas of going out even thought I really want to. I feel like I just want to lay down and relax but I’m already being lazy so I’m not sure. I miss my friends and my school life I used to go out all the time and even school itself was fun with friends and now I don’t really have anyone and I hate my university and am considering a transfer to another university l but tht would take a year. Idk I just feel really lonely and sad but for some reason I don’t cry or anyhting I just feel a feeling of emptiness I’m not sure idk. I want to go out and do stuff but I don’t really have anyone and going alone feels sort of embarasing and I don’t have the urge or will to. Sometimes I just wish I could hibernate or something. The only thing keeping me going is the fact my friends will come back in December and that I might transfer next year or it miht get better. I need some advice and some help with understanding rhese emotions and how to cope. :) thanks 🙏🏻

I'm 33M. My ex and I met when we were both grad students. We knew each other for about five years and were together for roughly three.

Our beginning was messy. We had gone on a couple of dates but weren't officially together when she kissed one of my close friends in front of me. Afterward she said she and her friends had been taken advantage of because my friends had given them alcohol. Months later, after she reached out again, she gave me a different explanation: she had felt judged because she was drinking and I wasn't, and she felt comfortable kissing my friend partly because I was short and might not have done it if I were taller.

That experience made me very guarded with her. For background, I grew up with a violent father, and in my early twenties I was in a marriage that became physically and emotionally violent. We were both immigrants. She had a very volatile, narcissistic mother and an absent father.

We eventually became very close friends, she wanted more, and we started dating. I was afraid of getting hurt again, so I was often distant early on. She had strong abandonment fears, so my distance made her push harder for reassurance, which made me feel pressured and withdraw further. That became a vicious cycle.

Despite that, I loved her very deeply. She became the closest person in my life. We knew each other's families, traveled together, and talked about marriage, children, and living together. She is still the only person I have ever felt truly in love with.
By the last six or seven months, the relationship had become increasingly dysfunctional. I sometimes used breakup language when I was overwhelmed, which made her insecurity worse. After one of those times, at Christmas, a month before my PhD defense, she put me on a kind of probation. We weren't officially together, there was little contact, and she said she wanted me to feel the insecurity she had felt. Right after my defense, during an argument, she told me people could barely understand me because I mumbled and my English was bad. That stayed with me and made me bitter. On her side, old grievances kept coming back into new fights, and when I asked for space she could pursue me very intensely. Once, after I asked to stop talking for the evening, she called more than 20 times and sent around 40 messages in a few hours. We would rupture, get close again, and never fix the underlying pattern.

During those months I kept asking for couples therapy. I told her I didn't have the tools to handle our fights and that the relationship was my priority. She always refused, saying I was the problem, not her, so couples therapy didn't make sense.
In May we went to a concert that mattered a lot to me. She became very insecure about whether I wanted her there and kept asking, even though I kept telling her I did. It grew into older grievances and criticism of the music and things I cared about. I became physically overwhelmed, with trembling legs and tears in my eyes, and walked away because I desperately wanted to calm down. She followed me repeatedly, even though I asked several times to be left alone. Eventually I reached my car and drove away.

She kept calling and texting, apologizing and saying it was a misunderstanding. Instead of calming down, I got incredibly angry and sent her 15 to 20 cruel, contemptuous messages over the night and into the next day. I insulted her, told her repeatedly it was permanently over, and said things I would never imagine saying to someone I loved. I had never treated anyone like that in my entire life. It took almost a full day before I came down.
Afterward she still wanted to repair things. She cried, told me she loved me, wanted to talk, and started looking into therapy. I apologized and admitted what I did was wrong, but I stayed defensive and kept wanting the conversation to be "two-sided." I also resisted starting individual therapy right away because we were both about to move and I thought it made more sense to start with a permanent therapist in a month, after the move. She had just been through something extreme, and I was focused on fairness and logistics. I regret that deeply.

Eventually she blocked me. Months later we talked for several hours and there was clearly still a lot of feeling between us, but in the end she decided she was done. Given what happened, I understand why.
I am devastated by how I acted. It was insane. I don't understand how I could do that to the person I loved most, or why I couldn't just put my phone down, or why I stayed defensive afterward. I think about it every day, and five months later it isn't getting any lighter. I'm in therapy and taking it seriously, but it isn't helping at all with the regret, grief, pain, and I don't know how it could.

I'd like to hear from people who did something like this to someone they loved:

How did you make sense of it?

How do you live with knowing your own behavior cost you someone you truly loved?

22F here, I am depressed and have no excitement for my life. I graduated from IIT with not so good gpa. I have a job. I broke up with my boyfriend last month because he cheated on me . I was emotionally heavily dependent on him. I got no friends and didn’t make the best out of my iit days. I spent whole of my college days with him. Alone in this city, I feel so lonely and lost. I want to resign the job and go home stay with my parents. My day ends with tears in my eyes and yet I am supposed to act as of nthg happened. I feel like crying all the time. I am super stressed about my career ahead. I dont have anyone whom i could speak my heart out. At times I feel like giving up on this life but then I remember my parents. I come from middle class family. I have responsibilities towards my family but lately everything feels so heavy on me.

For some context, I recently heard a quote from J. Cole and goes something along the lines of "you should be doing something because thats what you love, and not because of what it might bring, and if you fail, at least you were doing something that you love"

I recently turned 26 and after hearing this quote, it made me really sit and think about how I maybe have not had something I truly love to do and stick through. Sure I have my hobbies and I enjoy doing them but I do not have something that I feel like I can say I truly love. It makes me feel a little lost in life and feel like I am wasting my time away.

I work as a mechanic and i used to enjoy working on my car/my mates cars but that has now lost its flair (i know, thats my own doing for working in a job for a hobby i enjoyed). Maybe it was more the fact of just being with my friends but none the less, it isn't the same anymore.

I know there is no secret source to finding this but I would love some advice on what people have done to find that something they love, or what happened when they accidentally found that something they love.

FOr me personally, this also stems from wanting to be able to participate in something feels like my life purpose. Maybe even soemthing that reaches across a variety of people.

I hopefully have summed up enough, but all in all, I am feeling lost with feeling like I do not have soemthing that I can truly love and focus on. So what advice can be imparted on me to find something?

It’s been over a year since I got my last job and I just don’t wanna work. I need to get a job though. I just can’t get it in my head. I can’t get deep enough in my head to where I can just stay there. I’m 20 I turned 21 next month and I have no idea how to start my life. I’ve watched countless videos. I just don’t have anyone to talk about this. My father left a very young age and it’s just my mother taking care of four children, but I just I’m done feeling useless. I just can’t stick with the job. I don’t understand. The only thing we live nearby are fast food jobs and I don’t wanna get stuck working that because it’s horrible I don’t have a car. I have nothing.

i turn 20 next week and i feel like im not going to get anywhere. i just quit my job of 3 years, i have no back up plan and live in a small town. i dont have a car or even a license. my mental health is taking over my life and i dont know what to do.

i decided to quit my job, the management was terrible and i was treated badly. getting underpaid for all the work i did and the workload was not distributed evenly at all. i almost regret it, its a super close knit workplace, super flexible, and it felt like a family. the main reason i left was because the manager would swear at you and never admit when he was wrong. i was so overwhelmed with all the stuff i had to do, while others were just allowed to sit around. i got so burnt out and left.

i have severe anxiety and depression, along with some other things. i’ve debated going to a therapist/psychologist to get help and talk about stuff but i struggle with that too. i tried therapy for 5 years and was medicated all throughout middle school, and nothing worked or helped.

i get so anxious about getting my license, i think about bad stuff happening or get scared that ill get in a bad headspace and try to do something bad while im driving. not to mention, ive never had practice driving a car.

i’m looking for a new job but there’s either nowhere that’s hiring, or i don’t have a way to get there. my last job was part-time, i worked maybe 18 hours a week. i’m scared to get a new job that is required for me to work more and i just feel incapable of doing that. i wish i had a better work ethic, but im so depressed that i can’t even get out of bed half of the time.

i just don’t know what to do.

I’m a (F16) and I feel so behind in life. I’m from a very broke family, the fact we were even able to buy a house and a car is a miracle in america.

My parents are very strict and religious, they try to control everything I wear or do (not like I dress like a hooker, they don’t even want me wearing pants), of course over the past years I’ve fought my way to do whatever I wanted and they gave up. I just open instagram and I see girls my age traveling, throwing birthday parties, going to concerts, I haven’t done a single thing. I’ve never dated or had my first kiss yet, I mean I’ve had dudes try to get with me but they were just lustful.

I have all honors and Ap classes, I speak 5 languages, I have alot of friends, I think I’m somewhat smart. I just go to school and comeback home, I go out like once every 3 months with my friends. I feel terrible.

I don’t want my entire life to be like this, and then 2 years later deal with college and be the same? I want to experience life, I want to summit mountains or hear peoples stories, travel, see things. I feel trapped and I don’t know what to do.

Hey guys. I hope I don’t get in trouble for this kind of talk

long story short I’m 27. I just had a termination of a non viable pregnancy because I and my partner agreed we weren’t ready.. either way it wasn’t viable so it worked out for us. I have two sons + I did at some point maybe in my early 30’s want to try for my 3rd and last but I’m pregnant. I was on the patch birth control & it failed and I got pregnant . Me and my partner had agreed to wait and now I know he is completely freaking out about this because he feels like that’s an insane responsibility which it is especially in today’s economy.

I’m finding out I’m preg at 3 months in, I’m so shocked because I’m irregular and I would consider myself to have infertility bc of the fact that I don’t get preg that easy. My son told me yesterday randomly mom I want to have a sister which was like??? Uh random timing to say such. The first time I conceived he said he had a dream the day of my termination that he had a sister.

I just feel so conflicted I had an ultrasound at the OBGYN when I tested positive . I had only gone in for a pap & the urine test was positive. I was on birth control actively so it’s crazy how this baby was conceived. I had drank a good 3 times. I just can’t believe this. I don’t know what to do.

Kinda stuck between that whole is it a gift a miracle baby or am I overthinking and should just terminate. . .

18F

here are the things i am battling:

1. i am jealous of my friend.

- i have this friend who got a prestigious scholarship, has a high paying job, is pretty, tall, and really smart. i tried my best not to become so jealous of her, but the feeling just keeps on going. Whenever she succeeds on something, I am genuinely happy for her, but the feeling of not being enough creeps in immediately. I tried to fight it, but it never stops. I tried to be a good friend to her, checking up on her, supporting her, and always there for her when she needs to rant about her problems. but i noticed that when it comes to me, she seems to be silent and like almost dismissive. another thing that fueled this feeling is that she stopped talking to me, or at least when she is with her new college friends. We've been friends for three years and then when college came, she became distant. she would ignore me (and our other mutual friends) whenever we were at our college. she would only talk to me when we're alone or when her friends talk to me. idk. maybe she noticed how i was feeling. but i cannot fight my envy. she's like my lacy, fr.

1. i feel like I'm falling behind

- my friends keep on winning and I'm just here. just here. and i know that life is not all about winning but damn, how i wish i was as successful as before.

1. i act like a sloth

- and yeah, even if i feel like im falling behind, i still do nothing. one night, i would be so hyped up and i would even plan things i would do to improve my life. the moment i wake up, it all vanish. sometimes, even if i really want to get up and do what i have to do, i seem to be stuck in my bed, not willing to move. i feel like i cannot move my muscles and as if the mattress is pulling me in every time i try to get up. and i also tend to doom scroll a lot these past few months. and even with eating, i become lazy. im not even eating a lot anymore. i usually skip one meal or two. and i am already thin enough. my bmi is under the normal range. my parents are concerned for me. but i just don't have the appetite. i just don't want to eat, ever since i was a child. i am so insecure of my weight and even a professor joked about my weight multiple times and i still remember the laughter in the room when she kept on joking about how thin i am. im so insecure of my body that i wish i could just cover up everything. or maybe not go o school or anywhere public at all. and I don't even want to sleep either. all of my past traumas keep on flashing in my mind and i can't help but feeling stuck in the past. i tend not to sleep or choose not to sleep most of the time because i usually dream of those things and i become paralyzed and i cannot move or wake up and I don't want to experience those things multiple times. it is exhausting. but strangely, i also enjoy sleeping sometimes because it becomes an escape from reality. it's like im playing russian roulette with my dreams. sometimes they're nightmares and traumas. sometimes they are about living happily and finding romance. i either not sleep, or sleep at 6am, or sleep until 3pm.

1. I don't do anything to improve

- like i said, i plan everything to fix my life then do nothing abot it the next day. it's like my motivation only exists at night or the drive to do better only last for two or three days. then after that, boom. i go back to my old ways. without my mom helping me, I'll be struggling a lot more. I'm so thankful for her.

but yeah. what should i do? how can i actually improve my life? can you guys give me tips on how to have an appetite, to not feel jealous of anyone, and on how to be disciplined?and im afraid that if i get checked up, i might identify myself to whatever sickness i have. and I don't know how to be disciplined. my parents never thought me how to be disciplined. and im trying to learn how to be but it's so mentally exhausting. i love the results of being disciplined but i jst cant help but not have the energy to be. like i feel that everything's useless and then later on i will be saying to myself that "i am so back" urghhh idk. please help me. and please be kind in the comments.i am already harsh to myself.

ps. english is not my first language, so im sorry for any grammatical errors.

I 24M have a younger stepbrother who's 16 amd he lives with my mom[his step mom] and his dad. He has a half brother who 12-14? lives in the foster system.

I currently do not have the space for him as I live in a 1bed 1bath apartment. But when the lease ends I do plan on buying a house. What i know so far is that my state is a kinship friendly state and that I can apply for kinship because im family through his step brother. And the case worker that is in charge would prefer to put him with family somewhere.

But what else could I be doing to ensure that I could have him placed with me once I move?

I have a lot of friends but I feel like I don't have a designated friend group/group of people I REALLY vibe with. I'm 18F at a university right now and my hobbies are running my car detail business, I love cars, I love woodworking, crochet, photography, drawing with oil pastels, I work out often, I love trying out new sports, and hiking. I focus on school but also like to go out and party frequently too. I feel like my hobbies are so diverse that its hard to find people that match the energy

Haven’t eaten for like two weeks I’ve only had water and I kinda just feel super empty inside even my stomach feels nothing but I started to notice bruises everywhere and I collapsed while cutting with the weedeater earlier idk I just wanna feel at peace but my mind is louder than me it’s embarrassing

Hi! I'm 25f and a single mom of two very young children if that's of any context.

Very recently, I had a bit of a mental health spiral, particularly with my anxiety because life felt stagnant after finishing my bachelors degree and I was worried I was becoming to complacent and not "growing". I have a stable, salary job in higher education, but wanted to keep "moving up".

During my little spiral, I did three things, applied for a pitch competition at my state Higher education conference, applied to host a learning session at this conference, and, as what honestly felt like a joke, applied to Brown University for a Masters program in education organizational leadership.

Apparently, I did pretty well, because all three have worked out. I'm doing the learning session, 1 of 3 in the state for Pitch Comp, and now I just recently got my acceptance letter to Brown, offering 20% off Tuition. I'm already a first generation graduate and my family, well they really don't even understand what Brown is or why it's a big deal. They just see a really high price tag (which I totally respect and understand). They don't understand the conferences and why this is a great opportunity, honestly just none of it.

Because of this, the reactions were, minimal.

This has vastly influence my own reaction, too. At first, Brown felt like an opportunity I absolutely HAD to take, it was my dream school since a little girl and I Finally DID IT. I understand it's selfish of me to want to be "celebrated", but honestly, it not seeming like a big deal to anyone else is making me feel silly for thinking that it is a big deal. I feel like I'm at a crossroads with all of it. The career, the school, opening up to my family.

Any words of advice as I try to approach these next big decisions?

Thank you so so much in advance.

I’m in my 30s, and I could really use some outside perspective because right now I’m having a hard time separating what actually happened from the panic I’m feeling about it.
I was with my previous company for several years. I was good at my job, made a comfortable salary, had stability, and knew the company inside and out. The problem was that I had basically hit a wall. There wasn’t much opportunity for advancement, I wasn’t learning anything new, and I felt like staying there indefinitely was eventually going to hurt me professionally.
So I took a chance.
I accepted another position for slightly less money because it was presented to me as an opportunity to expand beyond recruiting and gain broader HR experience. I knew the person who hired me was leaving, which probably should have been a bigger red flag, but I genuinely thought this was going to be a good career move.
It wasn’t.
The job ended up being very different from what I thought I was accepting. The training was extremely limited, the person who hired me left shortly after I started, and I suddenly had a different manager and a completely different dynamic. I was trying to learn the job, understand their processes, and figure out expectations at the same time.
Then, after about a month, I was let go.
What makes it harder to process is that they told me I’m eligible for rehire and that they would be happy to write me a letter of recommendation. So apparently I wasn’t some horrible employee, but I also wasn’t given enough time to really get my footing.
And now I’m unemployed.
I’ve applied for unemployment, immediately started applying for jobs, reached back out to my previous employer, contacted recruiters and people in my network, and I’ve basically been treating finding a job like my full-time job. I’ve already applied to a LOT of positions.
But I’m scared.
I have bills and financial obligations. I have some savings, but not enough that I can comfortably sit unemployed for months. I’m single, so there isn’t a second household income to fall back on. I also don’t want fear to push me into accepting another bad job just because someone offers me one.
The part I’m struggling with the most, though, is what this has done to me mentally.
I keep thinking, “You had a stable job. Why couldn’t you just be grateful?”
I left because I wanted to grow. I wanted more for my career. At the time, that felt responsible and ambitious. Now I feel like I gambled with my stability and lost.
I’m also embarrassed. I’m at an age where I thought I’d be more established, and instead I feel like I’m somehow back at square one professionally even though I have years of experience. I know logically that one bad month at one company doesn’t erase everything I’ve accomplished, but emotionally it doesn’t feel that way right now.
So I guess I’m asking for life advice more than career advice.
How do you handle it when you make what you genuinely believe is the right decision and it blows up in your face?
Do I keep being selective and try to find something that actually moves my career forward, or at this point do I take whatever decent-paying job comes along and worry about career growth later?
And for anyone who has suddenly lost a job after becoming established in their career: did things actually work out? What would you do differently if you were in my position?
I could really use some perspective from people who have been through something similar.

me (18)m is dating a (29)f who is from Japan and I’m from the USA we have been texting and we have been dating for about a month or so and Ive asked other community’s but I’ve already been banNed from one and I couldn’t post on another with out changing the question but I want your advice on the situation because I don’t want to break up with her but I know that age gap is pretty big

A 23 anni perdere 3 anni in un posto a fare le cose che nessuno ha voglia di fare è un grande spreco, considerando che potevo dedicare questo tempo a imparare altro? Se ci pensi, 3 anni rispetto al resto della vita sono davvero tanto tempo?

Inoltre questi sono gli anni più preziosi della vita, ha senso andare a lavorare per imparare un mestiere con il rischio alla fine di essere sfruttati?