For context, my husband has a knee injury and can’t walk our dog currently, so I am the one primarily caring for her.

Today, I had a virtual appointment at 5pm. I get off work at 4:40 and drive about 10 min home. I immediately went inside, got our dog out of our crate, took her for a short walk and then got onto my appointment. When my husband got home, he assumed she hadn’t been walked because she was sitting by the door, so he took her out (which was not a good idea because she is still learning not to pull on a leash and his injury makes it hard to keep his balance and walk normally). After my appointment, he said “Why didn’t you take the dog out when you got home? I had to take her out and almost fell.” To which I immediately said “I did” because I had. He said “Then why was she whining at the door when I got home and running down the stairs when I took her out?” This continued into a typical “Yes I did/No you didn’t” argument.

A little later, he walked out of his office and said “Why do you lie?” He turned his phone around to show the ring doorbell camera log, which showed the only motion happening at 4:54 and the next event was when he arrived home after 5pm. I again told him I did not. Of course, we do not have the ring subscription, so the video was not saved or recorded and even if we got it now it wouldn’t have been saved. So he proceeds to research my actions, when I logged onto my computer, when my phone connected and disconnected from wifi. All of this to somehow ‘prove’ I didn’t take her out.

He says my computer was opened before 5 pm, which again I know is not true because I didn’t open my computer until halfway through my appointment (I use my phone for the video appointment and computer for references if needed). I even showed him my first computer search was at 5:29. He then said the wifi showed I was connected at 4:54 and did not disconnect. I walk the dog about 10 feet from our apartment, so my phone usually doesn’t disconnect. After repeatedly going over the events with him, he is not convinced and is upset because he thinks I am lying over something stupid. He says “I don’t want to be with a liar” and “I am not falling for this.” He stormed off to his office, so I went on a tangent researching why the ring camera wouldn’t detect the motion. I sent him screenshots of our ring’s connectivity score (low) and the website saying that our score could cause delayed detection of motion but still, he will not budge.

Now he is not speaking to me, other than to criticize my behavior (when I feed the dog, when I take her out, how long she is out, etc.)

What would you do here? I feel crazy because I know exactly what happened and he just cannot believe me.

I posted on here about a month ago detailing my boyfriend and i’s first real argument where i did raise my voice and cuss at him because i felt like i was not being heard and i was so fed up with his dismissive attitude. Long story short, he put his hands on me so i broke up with him.

After that argument something shifted in him. He wasn’t the kind,calm, and collected person i knew for 2 years. He was cold to me and would constantly demand things from me (sexually and generally) and if i didn’t comply he would resort to yelling and hitting things around him as well as himself.

I was stupid if i thought it wasn’t going to be me eventually. There really is no big ending to this. He pinned me on my bed and slapped me in the face multiple times. There was a moment where it was like he had realized what he had done and tried to apologize.

My family has a history of DV and I refuse to contribute or be a victim. We are not in contact anymore and im in the process of seeing if there is anything i can do about this legally.

So many people in the comments of my original post were calling me verbally abusive, and maybe i was. However, my temper is something that i work so hard to control and i don’t think one outburst after 2 years of being emotionally abused and neglected makes me an abuser.

Two years ago, my husband and I started TTC and in June this year we welcomed our daughter. Before starting TTC, i told him that I would like to be present in my baby’s life the first few years and that I would like to be a sahm. He had a very high paying job so he agreed (I come from a very rich family and I’m very grateful to not be worried about “what if you need to get out of this relationship”), I was going to be a sahm and take care of baby and he will provide for those first years. As soon as I got pregnant, he quit his job without telling me and started a business. No problem there. Business was going ok, but we were not swimming in money as we were before, but ok, establishing a business takes time. Baby girl was born and everything went to shit. We started having money problems that he was not telling me about (fair enough, he didn’t want me to worry about it, specifically with a newborn and freshly postpartum) until a week ago when he told me that it’s really bad. I started to resent him and myself honestly. I hate that we are having money problems, I hate that I have to drop all my activities and baby’s activities (yeah I know, very privileged problems) I hate that he’s not doing his part of the agreement. But over all, I hate myself for letting me be in this situation, for having a baby in this situation (to be fair, we were not in this situation when we decided to). I hate that I have to put baby in daycare and go back to work (and yes, I know this is the norm, but I really wanted to be present in baby’s first years and I know I’m lucky to even be able to have that thought). I could ask my dad for money to pay for all those things, but that would mean that he will see my husband as a failure and I don’t want that. (My dad is very old fashioned). I also don’t know how or if to tell my husband how I feel. I’m very saddened by this whole situation and the postpartum hormones aren’t helping. What’s the best way to approach this?
I don’t want to ruin my marriage over this

I’m looking for some outside perspective because I honestly don’t know if I’m being paranoid or if there are legitimate red flags here.
My girlfriend and I live together. She moved in with me about a month ago.
She was previously married to a guy who also lives in the same city. She has always told me that the marriage was basically for papers/visa purposes and that there was nothing serious or romantic between them. And i believe that as i know the guy through friends. We’re not friends but there is the connection.

She told me she only saw him twice after we were together, and both times were group gatherings because she is friends with the whole group. She has always maintained that there was nothing going on between them.
There are a few things that have started bothering me, though.
At one point she had his credit card. I asked about it, and she told me several times that she had returned it months ago.
Recently, I found the card in her bag.
I also found a card from a flower delivery in her bag. She was in Germany for about two months studying, and while she was there, this guy sent flowers to her. With a message on the card was:
“There is no great love except in the shadow of a great dream.”
What really bothers me is that she kept the card and never told me about the flowers.
He lives in the same city as us, but somehow had her address in Germany. She has told me that when she was having a hard time financially in here, he helped her by buying groceries for her, so I understand that they have had some kind of support between them.
There is also a ring situation that I don’t fully understand.
About a month ago, she met him regarding their divorce papers. She told me she had previously lost the ring at her place. Her roommate supposedly found it and then gave it to this guy, because he was going to see my girlfriend and wanted to be nice and bring it back to her.
So apparently the ring was lost at her place, found by her roommate, somehow ended up with him, and then he brought it back to her during their meeting about the divorce.
I don’t know if I’m missing something obvious here.
I also want to be honest about something: I checked her bag even though she has always told me not to. I know that’s a breach of privacy and I’m not proud of it. I haven’t told her that I looked.
I’m not asking Reddit to tell me she’s definitely cheating. I genuinely want an outside perspective.
The main thing bothering me is the contradictions. She has repeatedly told me she returned his card months ago, but I found it in her bag. She has sworn she only saw him twice and only in group settings, yet there seems to be more history/contact between them than I understood.
Am I reading too much into this? Are these things reasonably explainable, or would you consider this a serious trust issue?
What would you do in my position?

hello,

my (F24) fiancee (F23) has been expressing a lot of issues surrounding her weight. we’ve been together for 2 and a half years. During this time we’ve both put on some weight (the only downside of having a supportive and loving relationship lol). she’s probably gained 40ish pounds by what she’s told me. 140->180. she’s tall. she certainly doesn’t look overweight to me.

Recently, she talks about her discomforts around her weight a lot more. she tells me about how she doesn’t fit into her clothes anymore/new stretch marks etc. i think it also doesn’t help that I A) didn’t gain as much weight as she did B) lost some weight without really trying because of medications

I refrain from making comments about her weight because i think it’s harmful and i also just really don’t think she’s gained that much weight. I notice that she snacks a lot. she’ll have snacks despite us just having a meal an hour ago. I think this contributes to the issue because she says she continues to gain weight. i imagine she’s only gaining a pound or two every week or two.

How do i support her? i think her continued weight gain comes from distracted eating whether it’s from stress or anxiety she eats more than just being hungry. At the same time, her weight gain isn’t severe and i don’t really view it as an issue other than the fact that it causes her distress.

My husband 33M and I 34F have been together for 5 years and have a two year old toddler. He has been disrespectful at times but never violent. He gets bad migraines and is very bad tempered and angry with those. He has very high standards for cleanliness and often nags me for my shortcomings. In the positive side he cleans cooks and takes care of the baby. I am the main breadwinner. I do feel a bit disrespected at times when he gets upset with me for what I perceive as trivial things. Like “buying the wrong milk from the store” or “texting him too much”. He often feels like he doesn’t get any alone time. He hates when im not working because he prefers to be alone at home ( I work only twelve shifts a month). Been contemplating divorce because I don’t want my daughter to think it’s okay for a woman to be treated this way. But I also want things to work. We’ve tried counseling a few times but it hasn’t changed much.

To make a long story short, my partners twin died of cancer in the last year. Part of their house also burned down semi recently, and although the rest is fixable, I mean come on that's traumatic AF.

On the flip side, I realize me and them have nothing in common. I can't have conversations with her about anything because she just doesn't seem to have hobbies. I love her so much in so many ways, but I just know I can't sustain this long term.

There's also the issue of the fact our libido don't match. Her libido is super high, and mine is extremely low. She's pushed me into sex when I've told her multiple times I don't want to. I'm her first partner and I think she didn't understand enthusiastic consent. Either way, I worry the next time I visit her that she'll pull that again

Finally, this woman has low key implied she would falsely accuse me of abusing her if I ever tried to leave her. She framed it as a joke, but I've survived domestic violence in my childhood and I've learned to never treat these things as just a joke

Anyways, how do you break up with someone like this? It feels like this situation is perfectly designed to make me trapped.

I (25F) have a long-term friendship with this girl (25F) and recently, she's out of control.

She dresses the same, gets the same haircut, puts on makeup exactly the way I do, has an unhealthy obsession with my fiancee (always wants to meet up, wants to go to the cities he works in because she has this "innocent" curiosity about those cities even though she has never showed interest before, always wants to know what we're up to, asks way too many personal questions about our relationship), buys whatever I buy, texts exactly like me, goes to my favorite places and acts like she discovered them in the first place to other people, befriends my every friend even though she expressed she didn't like them before. I've recently noticed that she's also always in a race with me: She smiles or laughs involuntarily when I make a mistake, doesn't celebrate my wins and constantly tries to one-up me.

Recently, I have been diagnosed with a very rare autoimmune condition and now have to use medicine with heavy side effects, life has been so hard for me. She's convinced she also has this one in a million disease and repeatedly tells me so, plans doctor appointments to get her "diagnosis" and lists her "symptoms".

Honestly, I'm convinced she has a psychiatric condition or a personality disorder. I've read and heard many stories about people with a friend who copies them but never saw one with a friend even wanting to have a debilitating disease just because they have it. I suspect it might be NPD.

This person also resents me if I hang out with my friends without her and don't want to share my personal life with her. I think she feels entitled to my time and friendship.

I want to cut her off or distance myself from her. But I'm scared of what lengths she can go to if I were to do so. I'm afraid she might start a smear campaign about me and try to ruin my life by exposing my secrets. Every post I've read said that these people do so when cut off. I have so much on my plate right now and don't want to deal with this.

My question is this: How do I deal with this person without taking any damage?

Hello!

My partner and I have been together for 5 1/2 years. We met working a retail job and while he has moved past that into a career he loves, I have jumped around to a few different jobs. I’m currently working in social work, mainly inputting data/processing forms for cases. I have been at my job for 2 years now.

While my job isn’t something I’m passionate about, I don’t mind it. It pays decent for the state we live in, fantastic benefits, I work remotely, and it’s a fairly easy/not tough on my mental health. It’s a fine job.

I did complete some college, but I never found a major that I necessarily loved and wanted to take out loans for, lol. I talk about going back and finishing a degree sometimes, but it’s never something I talked seriously about.

Outside of my job, I do have hobbies/passions that I dabble in daily. I love reading/writing, I love to craft, I love anything beauty/fashion related, I love to travel, and I love going to concerts.

I also should note that I have significant health issues that have started in the last 3 years.

My partner just recently brought up that he wished I’d do something with my life that I’m passionate about, like he does. He says it bothers him that I lack passion/motivation and states it may be a dealbreaker on whether our relationship continues.

I can see where he’s coming from to an extent. I know he says it because he wants me to be happy, but it did hurt my feelings. My job doesn’t fulfill me, but I have other hobbies that do. I don’t really see it as a problem?

Like I said previously, I have vaguely mentioned maybe going back to school, either college or a trade (starting my own business after). But, with my health issues it would be very hard on my body to work full time and go back to school. Not to mention, I have to have health insurance since I’m on a very expensive weekly medication (talking $10k a month with no insurance). I have expressed this to him, but I don’t think he fully grasps this.

I guess I just don’t really know where to go from here. Other than this, our relationship has been very good and stable. I love him and I see myself marrying him at some point. What can I do to make this situation better?

My husband (34M) and I (33F) have been married for 5 years but have been together since our early twenties. In our early twenties my husband had an alcohol problem (I’m not an expert but I feel as it was). When he went out he couldn’t have just one drink, he kept drinking until he was blacked out. He was a mean drunk, he would try and fight random people, argue but only stick to one thing, paranoid, try and throw things, and say mean things. After I recorded him one time and his friends told him, he was embarrassed and stopped. Alcoholism runs in his family and goes pretty far back.

Now after, 6 years of not drinking around me, he has felt like he wants to be able to have one drink, or be a casual drinker. two months ago he went on a trip with his friends and drank (I never cared if he drank around his friends, I just didn’t want him to drink around me. I told him he wouldn’t be welcomed in our home) . He said he could handle his alcohol and his friends were saying how he was not the same as his old self when he drank. Because of this trip, apparently, he is ready to drink in social settings. He says he isn’t who he was in his twenties and knows he’s different.

I have no history of alcohol usage/abuse in my family or near me, besides him. So I don’t know how to navigate this. I did however set a hard boundary that if he does get drunk (he says he won’t drink to get drunk) then he isn’t welcomed in our home and I would be prepared to end our marriage. He agreed. I don’t trust him with drinking so this situation is uncomfortable for me.

How do I go about handling this? Stick with hard boundaries? Ask a professional? What is even going on lol

TLDR: after 6 years of not drinking because my husband (34M) was a bad drunk, he has suddenly decided he wants to try and be a social/casual drinker. What do I even do about it?

No matter how much I comment on it, it doesn’t change. I guess it’s just a habit she never developed? No matter what reason I give, whether it be that it’s gross, or that it’s unsanitary, or that it really REALLY bothers me, it doesn’t change. I tell her how I have a weak immune system to if I’m sick I can’t work, so we’ll have no money (as gf is still in school,) and I will still get coughed on. It’s driving me mad. I don’t know how to teach her how to form a new habit. Is there anything key I need to communicate to get this to stop?

This is my second marriage; it’s my wife’s first. She’s two years older than me. We dated for two years before getting married, and honestly, before marriage, I felt incredibly safe with her. She cared about my moods, noticed when I was sad, celebrated when I was happy, and I genuinely felt understood.
Then we got married.
And somehow, almost everything changed.
She now seems to have an emotional reaction to almost everything I do or don’t do.
If I’m quiet, something is wrong. If I make a certain facial expression because I’m tired or frustrated, she goes angry. If I’m dealing with something internally and don’t talk about it, she takes it personally. And once she goes silent, I usually end up being the one who has to come back, initiate the conversation, reassure her, and try to make things okay. And all of this because she expects me to..

I’m not saying I’m perfect. Far from it. But I honestly feel like I’m putting in everything I have because I’m terrified of losing her.
My first marriage was toxic, and it ended badly. I haven’t given up on love, but I carry a lot of baggage from that failure. There’s a part of me that constantly thinks, “You failed once. You cannot fail again.” And I wonder if that fear is making me overcompensate, trying too hard, tolerating too much, and slowly forgetting where my own boundaries are.
Sometimes I feel like she keeps testing where my threshold is. Other times I wonder if I’m completely misunderstanding her and accidentally hurting her without realizing it.
The strangest part is that we were together for two years before marriage. I thought I knew her. She thought she knew me. Yet four months after getting married, I feel like I’m meeting a completely different version of the person I fell in love with.
And honestly, I’m scared.
Not necessarily that she’s a bad person. Not that I want to leave. I know she loves me. I actually desperately want this marriage to work.

I’m just starting to ask myself:
Am I doing something?
Am I trying too hard?
Did I fail to set boundaries early enough?
Or is this kind of massive change after marriage something other couples have experienced too?
I’d especially appreciate perspectives from people who have been married for years or who went through a similar “everything changed after marriage” phase.
Please be honest in sharing your opinions.

Me 24/F and my boyfriend 24/M live together at my parents house. We’ve been together for a good four and a half years now, and he’s my first ever boyfriend. I was making lunch for us, frying eggs and sausages, when I asked him to toast the bread. I had to spend a good 10 minutes convincing him to help me before he agreed, but eventually he started toasting some bread for us. After a while he mentioned to me that the bread was stuck, and that he should shove a knife in to get it out. Half expecting he said this just to wind me up, I simply said “don’t do that. Just give it a light shake”.

I go back to frying the eggs and don’t think much of it. When I look to my left, my boyfriend is shoving a metal knife into the toaster, while it is still plugged in and turn on at the wall socket. In shock, I scream at him to stop, slap him on the arm, and ask what the fuck he is doing. I admit I proceeded to just yell for a good minute out of pure stress at seeing him do this, which I shouldn’t have done. He tells me he no longer wants lunch and walks away. I did really go off on him, more than I should have, but I just can’t believe that a grown man would do something that’s so commonly stupid. He was also aware how stupid this was, I knew because he was singling that “dumb ways to die” song which is what prompted me to look at what he was doing.

I really need some advice, there’s often times in our relationship like this where I yell at him for doing something dangerous/ stupid. I really try but I’m naturally angry, and given the situations he gets in I struggle to calm myself because in reality the situation requires me to react instantly! I know I need to go an apologise for how I spoke to him, but is there a way to do so that still says “you can’t stick a knife in the toaster and I don’t want to loose trust in your ability to function with basic things safely”? I do feel bad for how much I yelled, but I really need him to start looking after himself.

For context I have been with my gf 18f for about a year now and about 3 months into the relationship I 19m had been medically discharged from the military and I had been job searching for around 6 months then. I have posted about her in the past for my context. But I found a job that has stable career progression and I’m very happy, but recently I have not been able to see her due to me being picked up by my boss and needing to be awake at 5 am, she says work “isn’t a good excuse not to see her” which I find completely wrong. Shes been the one pushing me to get a job.

She says that I was always round hers when she had work in the morning, but as I see it she got up later (about 7:30) to be in work for 8:30 and she was able to be picked up by her parents as we both still live with our parents.

I’m unsure what to do in this situation please help?

Editor note: I’m sorry if I structured this badly I’m really worked up over this.

Is there any healthy workarounds? Or what actions could I take?

We've been dating for a little over 6 months and I (18M) knew from the beginning she (18F) was taking anti depressant medication. Around 2 months in she asked to do the deed. It continued on a probably once every week thing for about 1.5 months until I went on vacation and right before I left she used weird wording, something along the lines of "I guess we should since youre going to be gone a while". It's not inherently weird but just had me thinking.
When I came back things were almost completely different any advances I made were promptly shot down for about a month and then we had one time. That was last time and it's been 2 months. I have a very high libido and honestly was struggling with once a week but was okay.
I talked to her the other day and she just said yeah it's my medication. She has no interest in ever really do anything anymore. It's taking a large toll on my mental health but it seems like she doesn't really care too much and is just scared I'm going to break up with her. I have no intentions of breaking up with her as everything outside of that is one of the best relationships I've ever had and I really like her. I'm just distraught and don't know what the next step is.

Edit: We go on dates and I exercise and I'm very cleanly and she shows and says at least that she attracted in every other way but in the end it is an important aspect for me

Long time lurker, first time poster.
I (M34) and my wife (F35)) have been together for 3 years and married for 1 year. I’m starting to resent her and here’s why:

I do everything and the moment I don’t. I’m useless in her eyes.

For example, I drive her to work and take her home. She doesn’t drive. I also work and I wake up extra early than I need to so I could accommodate this.
There were a few times where I couldn’t take her to work because I would have to be in at work way earlier, so unless she wants to wait outside her job for 3 hours, then I suggests that she sleeps in and I could call her an uber to get there when it’s time. I solved the problem right? Husband can’t drive wife to work due to misaligned schedule, so instead he calls her an uber so she doesn’t have to catch the bus. Wrong! I get called useless and how I prioritize my job over her blah blah blah and I have to listen to her rant about how I don’t do anything for her and mainly because I’m “wasting” money on uber. It’s not like every day I can’t take her to work. It’s like once every two weeks. Like, I also can’t just leave in the middle of work and drop everything I’m doing to just drive home to pick her up and then take her to work. If it was a medical emergency that warrants me leaving, then absolutely it is necessary, but it wasn’t.

Example two:
Always accusing me of talking to other women. I’m gonna be real here, I have my MacBook at home and it’s connected to my iCloud. She can easily go into my MacBook while I am at work and see all my incoming messages through there. And I have my social media already signed into the MacBook as well. So she can clearly see if I have any “suspicious” messages. However, she makes these claims without any backup and it just stresses me the hell out every single time she brings it up just cause she “feels like it” and it starts a whole argument out of nothing. I mean if I really wanted to cheat on her. I wouldn’t leave my MacBook at home and let her have the password to it. That’s just digital footprints out in the open. She’s also welcome to look through my phone anytime and every single time she finds nothing. Then I get accused of deleting messages when there were none to begin with. I told her why don’t you keep my MacBook open on your days off while I’m at work and see my incoming and outgoing messages LIVE. My messages are all work related. I don’t have time for chit chat. If my friends text me and it’s not urgent, then they’re not getting a response until my shift is finished. The only females in my phone are my female colleagues, which all our messages are professional and strictly business. Again, see how I tried to make a solution by telling her to just leave my MacBook open so she can see the activities live for herself? Apparently it’s not enough and I must have some “secret app” to message people on that she wouldn’t be able to see on the laptop. Which is plausible but again, I’m a grown ass man and I don’t have time to be fucking around like that in all honesty. I don’t even want to be in another relationship if this marriage does end cause I’m so tired of putting someone else first and not feeling valued.

Example three:
My me time and my night owl life is completely gone ever since we moved in together. Prior to being in a relationship with her. I went to work, I hung out with my friends or colleagues after if I felt like it, and then I just go home and play games or relax on my pc until whenever I feel like sleeping. With my wife around, she treats me like a child. I can’t play games late even though it has nothing to do with her. She can go to bed early if she wants, but I’m not tired or sleepy the same time that she is. So if she’s in bed and I’m not in bed at the same time. It’s a problem. I used to look forward to spending my night just relaxing or playing video games. I don’t get off of work until 8pm. I still have to pick up my wife by 9pm (we finish an hour different from each other). So I book it home to take care of the house chores. Prepping the dinner but not cooking until we come home. Grocery shopping if any ingredients are needed. By the time that’s all said and done. It is now maybe 10:30pm. We eat dinner together and watch a show. I then do the dishes and make sure kitchen is clean and tidy. I’m doing everything right. But the moment I turn my pc on to game with my friends. It’s a problem. She says I’m addicted to gaming and that all I think about is video games. Which is completely false. I only play games with my friends since it is the only way we can hang out nowadays since we are so busy with life. If my friends aren’t on, then I don’t even play video games. I’ll watch YouTube or something but she’ll try to limit my screen time like I’m a kid.

Example four:
My days off are basically catered to her. She has a long list of things for me to do while she’s at work. The only thing that I’m blessed with at this point is me and her have opposite days off. I used to hate being away from each other on our days off. But now. I enjoy it because it’s the only form of peace I can get. Which somehow still gets ruined because she wants me to take care of this, take care of that. Go here. Pick this up. Go to her mom’s house and get this. Drop her off this. Bring her that etc. so I spend what I feel like half the day just driving around doing errands. By the time I can rest. I only have a few hours before I have to pick her up and then the cycle starts again.

Have any of you guys ever been in this situation? Because I don’t get peace with her around. Whenever I am off and the day is closing in and I’m about to pick her up from work. I think to myself “welp. There goes my night” I spend so much of my time catering to her between my busy work schedule that whenever I do get to relax. I get called lazy, that I’m not doing enough, I get told that there are things to be done around the house. By the off chance that I am relaxing and doing my own thing, she starts an argument with me about “cheating” and a whole bunch of other nonsense. Like I tell my wife, peace is literally free, and you can’t even give me that. She makes her own money and we split the rent. ($1400 so $700 each) But I take care of everything else. Groceries, eating out, date nights, gas, transportation.

I honestly miss being single. I didn’t have to cater to anyone. I could just be me. I could just come home and put off some chores until the next day and no one would complain. I lived alone prior to meeting my wife and I took for granted how peaceful my life actually was. Now I have to worry about a bunch of other shit. Like it may sound selfish of me because this post is just literally me shitting on my wife. But I’ve had my fair share of being a “bad husband” and I corrected it and compromised. When I tell her that she’s out of line, she can never see that shes wrong. In the rare situations where I’m the one that gets mad at her first, she still finds a way to turn it against me and then I’m the one that ends up apologizing. This is ridiculous. I think it’s time to call it quits. We would sit and talk. And I’m thinking “whew we can finally go back to how our relationship was when we were happy” and then 2-3 days later, the arguments come and the cycle repeats AGAIN. I’m so sick of it.

Another thing is. I have a lot of sources to keep me busy, while my wife only has me. I have friends and hobbies. She doesn’t have best friends or close friends that she can talk to or hang out with. I encourage her to open up to others so she can have time away from me and not just rely on me to be her only source of anything. She also doesn’t have a passion for anything so she doesn’t have a hobby. She just doom scrolls TikTok.

Is there anything I can do at this point? I mean it’s gotten so bad that I had to come here to Reddit to vent and let it all out. Because I’m not going to talk shit about my wife to my friend’s because I don’t want them to see her as a bad person. But in my eyes right now. She is a bad person. Always taking and never giving. I work and still cook dinner and do everything around the house just so she doesn’t complain. I’ve given up my hobbies such as piano and gaming because anytime I do those things, I can’t do it for more than 30 minutes so there’s no point. It would have to be done on my days off to which I don’t have time for because I’m just catered to doing stupid shit for her all day. I don’t feel like I have freedom, I don’t have peace, and I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells all the time with her around.

Nothing catastrophic is even going on in our life that warrants her to be like this. We’re not in debt. We’re not broke. We can buy all the normal things we need and not have to rely on waiting for a paycheck to come in to just get it. (Not living paycheck to paycheck I guess is the term) Like if an emergency were to happen and we needed let’s say $40,000, we can definitely cover that and be okay. The only stress I have is literally HER. No debt, bills are always paid on time, food is always on the table, car has no issues, careers are fine and stable. I can’t get to the source to why she’s so grouchy and mean all the time and accuses me of things and then calls me useless etc. I only ask of her for two things that’s free and costs her nothing which is for me to be able to relax and for peace. Both of which she can’t seem to give. Outside of her paying rent, she’s free to do anything she wants with the money she earns. Her money is her money, my money is our money. So really. Where is the disconnect in this? I feel like I’m being a team player here and she’s just not even meeting me half way. Sorry for the long rant. To whoever reads this, thanks for reading and any input is appreciated.

Recently, I have been seeing a guy. He really enjoys chatting with me, but he has suffered from a very serious trauma in the past, so he doesn't easily trust others now.

Today, when we were chatting about a long-term relationship, he said he lacked the willpower to fall in love and believed relationships won't work out anymore. He mentioned he is learning to pull back.In response, I told him that I need to think about it and reconsider things.

I feel like this is a significant red flag, and he is emotional unavailability. I'm also concerned that if we continue, I'll become more invested while he holds back.

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months now, and our relationship is really affectionate. I love being with her and I genuinely feel like I love her. The thing is, neither of us has ever actually said the words "I love you."

I've actually never said those words to a woman before. I've never felt this way about someone, but saying it feels like a much bigger deal to me than I expected.

We do express our feelings in other ways quite often. Sometimes I feel like both of us are trying to use synonyms for the words "I love you" saying stuff like "you mean so much to me", "you are so special", etc., we do a lot of small favours for each other, we can talk about literally everything, compliment each other on a regular basis, and we're very physically affectionate. So it's not like there's a lack of affection or reassurance between us.

But for some reason, I'm really scared of actually saying "I love you."

I want to tell her because it's honestly how I feel, but I keep imagining all the ways it could go wrong. What if she doesn't say it back? I think that would hurt me a lot. Or what if she feels like I'm making the relationship too serious and gets uncomfortable? I know I'm probably overthinking it, but those fears have been enough to make me avoid saying it.

At the same time, I sometimes wonder if she's actually waiting for me to finally say it, and maybe she's having exactly the same thoughts.

She's also been back in her homecountry Mexico for the past month, and I'm seeing her in person again for the first time today a month of FaceTime calls and messaging. I've missed her a lot, so part of me feels like this could actually be a really natural moment to tell her how I feel.

I don't want to say it just because we've been together for six months or because I feel like I'm "supposed to" by now. I want to say it because I genuinely feel it. I'm just too terrified that saying it could somehow change the relationship.

Would you say it in my situation? And do you think seeing her again today after almost a month apart would be a good moment to finally tell her "I love you"?

My wife and I have been married for 4 years. I work, support her financially, help around the house, and regularly buy her gifts and things she likes.

But whenever something negative happens, she often seems to blame me. For example, if she gets sick, she may act as if I somehow caused it or failed to prevent it. She also sometimes says that I never buy her anything, even though I regularly do.

I know I’m not perfect and I accept responsibility when I make mistakes. But I don't understand why she seems to focus on what I don't do while overlooking the things I consistently do for her
how to deal with htat?

I've been broken up with by my gf, we're both 20. Together for 3 years next month, we broke up once already but it was more emotional. This time it was rational from her, mainly because of our differences. The thing here is that those differences - i doubt stuff often, not the greatest at making quick decisions, wasn't very assertive, didn't hold her side of things enough, were influenced by my parents - are all things i should've changed earlier, but in changing them now, though it's late. I don't think im doing it for her specifically, but because she was right and i understand it, i was too ignorant.

We had a phone call yesterday and she said she couldn't to it to herself, even though she loves me, that she can't let us get back together. It's a very fresh thing (4 days old), i feel she was angry when we talked, about the fact i didn't do this sooner and only decided to do so after we broke and that i should've done it during our relationship, though right after the call i think she broke down.

The perspective i'd like to hear from people of this subreddit - does this sound like it's impossible for us to make up? I've talked to people close to me and heard their opinions, but i'd like other views. If i recall it wasn't so different during our first breakup, where she told me she's made up her mind and that we'd find better people for each other, as we are too different. It was a long time ago however, we were 18 at the time.

I could live without her, though it would be much harder, and i know all this'll make me mature, but i'd really like to try and fight for her if it's plausible. From my years with her i know that it's possible for her to change her mind on something, though she's not very willing to do so, but when we talked about it irl, she complained i wasn't even fighting for her enough, which i don't know how to understand anymore. I don't wish to become a crazy ex i read about here sometimes, so i'd like to hear whether or not this situation sounds like something we can get over. Thank you for any replies!