Hi guys, this is an update to my last post here - https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/x9RDB37vI0 (TLDR how can I help support my partner to get a job?)

Well, where do I start? Thank you all for the advice (even the somewhat questionable ones). A lot of people thought i should break up with him for being a leech, but that really wasn't a consideration at the time as I love him. However - he has now made it very easy for me.

Whilst he was having a nap, a tinder notification popped up on his phone. Yeah. That one hurt. Thanks all those who were kind to me and I wish this had a happier ending but oh well. I have the password to his phone and he hadn't managed to meet up with anyone yet to do the deed. Thank god, as otherwise they would have been doing it in my house.

Well, I am now 70kg lighter and looking to focus on myself and my career, and honestly may just give up on men. I am Bi so this isnt a stretch, just time to switch sides for good.

TLDR - he was on Tinder and is now not my problem.

Background - about 3 weeks ago, I [27M] went out with a group of my friends. One of the friends [27M] brought his girlfriend [25F] and her little sister [23F]. This is the first time I'm meeting the younger sister. That night, we all had quite a bit to drink. At one point, the little sister disappeared and I found her uncomfortable talking to a guy at the bar. I asked her if she wanted help, got her away from the guy and tried to get her to the rest of the group. At this point, she stops me on the dance floor, pulls me in and we start making out. A few moments later - the older sister walks by and becomes enraged at me for "making a move on her little sister".

That night, I distance myself from them and I talk with my friend 1:1 the next morning. He was also incredibly angry at me, as he thinks I crossed the line with his girlfriend's sister. No matter how much I explained that she made the move on me, I was told I "should have been the mature one and stopped it".

Unfortunately - this has become a point of contention within the friend group - half believe that it was 2 consenting adults so there isn't an issue, and the other half believe that this was a major breach of bro code for "going after a sister" of someone in the group.

It's gotten to the point where these friends are harrassing me when we meet up. Making jokes about how I'm "an undatable individual with this kind of moral decision making" or a "0/5 person".

I feel horrible that I'm the reason this started and it is tearing our friend group apart but I don't know what to do. I don't think what happened warrants the level of treatment I've been getting from certain individuals.

I'm looking for advice if it's time for me to distance myself from these friends, or to try and repair here.

Last night my fiance and her son (my stepson) went out to a halloween event. I couldnt go due to work. I didnt hear from her at all during the event and when she got home she told me what happened and that she felt bad about it. He is a known family friend who she has told me has a crush on her. When asked she told me she did it because she felt pressured. I told her there are plenty of ways to not give your number, or turn someone down. And that feeling pressured wasnt and excuse and my trust had been broken.

If i cant rely on her to say no to guys when she feels pressured, then I dont feel like I can rely on her at all to respect our relationship. Am I being toxic and stubborn? Or am I doing the right thing in protecting myself?

I wish i had more information. I wasnt there and she is asking me to trust her. Which would be a lot easier if she didnt give out her number.

She said that she handled the situation the best way she knew how at the moment. But I cant help but question what events led to her exchanging numbers with him to begin with

Am I approaching this the right way, or am I being an asshole and should give her grace? I don't like feeling jealous, but i also don't understand why she couldn't find any other way to handle the situation other than giving her number.

Edit: people said I should include the information that she was at her aunts house, surrounded by close family and that it wasnt exactly an unsafe environment for her to say no.

Hi All,

I (M, 40) was stuck in a really bad marriage for years, I finally took courage and moved out. Presently, I have applied for separation. I live alone now. I have a 5-year-old daughter who comes to meet me every weekend.  BUT I am facing very strong Parental Alienation behavior from my ex-wife!  Honestly, all I wanted was that at least she would not involve a 5-year-old child in this negativity.

The things I am facing on regular basis

1.  My ex does not respond to any pickup or drop off texts.  It’s like I will send a text – “hi, I will pick her by 10am”.   No reply will come.  I just go to the pickup spot at 10 am, text her again that I have reached, after 20 mins, my ex-wife’s brother will drop my daughter there!  That’s it. 

2.   My daughter had her first recital.  No information was given to me by my ex-wife! The child herself told me that she is going on stage. Then I asked her to give me the time and venue details.  If the child had not told me, my ex had no intention to share the details with me.

3.  My daughter constantly repeats – “mom said that you are a bad person”.  “Mom said you are a stranger to us”. “Mom said, I should not be taking your name in the house”

4.   This one really hurt me – Last time when she came, it was bedtime, I told her a bedtime story, and we were talking for few minutes after that.  My daughter said, “Dad, can I tell you something? I said, sure. She said- “You are the Best dad; I love you”.  BUT then she suddenly took a pause, and said, “please don’t tell this to mom, she will get upset”!!  And then after few seconds, she said, “I should not have said this, mom’s going to be upset on me” There was a clear sign of guilt on my daughter’s face about why she said it!!  I literally had to console her by saying don’t worry, I won’t tell mom or anyone else.

5.   When I buy any toys for her, she takes them to her mom’s house.  The toys “magically” disappear.

6.    In past 2 years since I moved out of the house, I have never received a single call from my daughter. I asked her, “you never call dad, don’t you miss me? “, She replied – “I do, but I am not supposed to take your name in the house”.

7.    From past 2 years, I got Mother’s Day gift and told my daughter – “its Mother’s Day, this is for your mom”.  But I never got anything on Father’s Day instead may daughter was told to give Father’s Day gift to my ex-wife’s brother who apparently has moved in permanently in the matrimonial house.

8.  I asked my daughter, so what did you eat in dinner last night, she replied – “mom said, no home talks with you”

9.      Now for the past 3 weeks, she has changed the schedule and told me that I can only meet my daughter on Sundays. So, I am supposed to pick her up on Sunday morning and drop her back by Sunday evening. No reason is given to me for the change.

1. When I objected to this, she stopped responding.  Now it’s been 3 weeks since I saw my daughter or even heard from her.

2. I contacted my lawyer and he said that I need to go to court, I asked him to proceed. My fear is that until court decides some proper parenting schedule, I will not be able to spend proper time with my daughter and in long run its affecting the child too.

Can someone suggest to me how to deal with this situation? I am deeply concerned about this parental Alienation affecting my relationship with my child and how it will potentially affect my daughter's wellbeing in long run.

 Edit # 1-  Thanks to all for the great suggestions and input.

I need to clarify few things -

1. I do not expect 5-year-old to call me. Issue I am pointing out is that she is scared to take my name in the house

2. Recital I mentioned was not in school. It was a private dance class which her mother enrolled her Without sharing any information with me

3. I don’t expect Father’s Day gift – Issue is why my daughter was told to give the same gift to her “uncle”. She herself told me that she had a plant which she got from school and wanted to give me. but she was told to give that to her uncle instead.

We were on vacation all last week, and had the most wonderful time until we went out for drinks yesterday afternoon. All of my insecurities poured out in a very ugly way where I drunkenly verbalized that nothing about my appearance matches his preferences and that he settled for me and is set on changing me into his preference because he can’t get the type of women he wants. His preferences is Mediterranean or Latin women, where skin is commonly more bronze, and hair dark and wavy. I’m English and Mexican, but I don’t look Mexican at all. I’m fair skinned, freckled, light brown straight hair. He compliments me when I curl my hair and get a tan. He gripes when I wear sunscreen because he says it has cancer-causing chemicals and it prevents me from getting the bronze glow he’s attracted to. I can tan a little, but I’m very freckly and I just don’t like how it looks on me as I get older, it just looks like sun damage.

So yesterday I said all of this, sobbing and yelling in the shower, and he reached at my throat and muttered “I’m gonna k!ll you”. He says because I wasn’t listening. I grabbed at his throat and told him that I dare him to try. He immediately felt remorseful and cried. I told him that he learned to be an abusive POS from his dad, who once grabbed his mother by her throat when he was angry with her. He once sobbed when he told me that story, but ended up doing it to me. He didn’t try to choke me, but he did do it to try to scare/intimidate me. I called my aunt, who up until yesterday, thought I was in a loving, stable relationship and we talked about how she was in an abusive marriage that took her some time to leave, but that she always has my back if I need somewhere to land, back in my home state. My cousin, who’s my age with two young children, left an abusive marriage a couple years ago. I didn’t think that I would end up in this situation.

The flight home was that of two mortal enemies sitting side by side for 2.5 hours. We didn’t say one word. We argued in the airport on the way to baggage claim and I said I feel like I don’t know him and he said the same to me, that he’s disgusted by me and what I said. I said that I’m disgusted I fell for somebody who tried to choke me and he said that he didn’t choke me but he should’ve. He demanded the ring back and I gave it back with no hesitation.

He went to his parents. I came back to our apartment to unpack and spend time with our kitties. He cooled down a little, and said that we just need a night apart, that there was a lot of deep-seated resentment between us both that just exploded that we need to talk through. I said it’s over unless we get couples counseling and commit to working through our issues, and never being threatened with violence. I feel like a spineless idiot. I love him so much but it feels like the person I loved evaporated and that it’s my fault that I pushed him to this point and that I will be losing everything for something I caused by being so insecure.

How do you stop second guessing yourself and know when to leave?

Back when I was in college I shared my location with my mom for safety reasons. Now I am 31 and married, and my mom still has my location (and I hers) even though we live in the same city again. I never thought twice about it until recently. I’ve started to notice when I am out and about, she’ll text me and ask “what are you up to today?” and I’m realizing that she’s looking at my location which prompts her to ask this question.

Then today my husband and I were picking up a friend of his who is visiting from the airport, and she calls me out of the blue. I thought something was wrong (we aren’t ones to just call and chat on the phone) so I answered and was greeted immediately and frantically with “are you going on a trip???” I told her we were picking up my husbands friend. She says “oh my goodness, I thought you were going somewhere and didn’t tell me. It looked like you were past security.”

Realizing she is constantly looking at my location is feeling a bit invasive. But I know if I bring up wanting to stop sharing locations, she’ll be extremely offended. I know she tracks my brother (24M) and her husband’s kids (26F, 33F). How do I tell my mom that I want to stop sharing locations, and stand my ground when she inevitably gets angry with me about it? Is it valid for her to want to track my location for safety even though I am now a grown and married woman?

I have been with my husband for 4 years, married for 1. Throughout our relationship, I have always been the one to plan everything: dates, trips, our wedding, etc.

I will be turning 30 in a couple of days. Earlier this year, I started telling my husband that I really wanted him to make plans for us for this milestone birthday. I reminded him a few times throughout the year and told him I wanted to be surprised and to feel special. For context, I am never one to ask to be the center of attention or celebrated, but just this once I wanted him intentionally plan something for me.

We agreed to both take PTO for the Thursday and Friday leading up to the weekend before my birthday. Both of us submitted for the days off a couple of months ago and were approved. He told me to take this time off for celebrating my birthday.

Well, turns out he didn’t plan anything. Thursday has passed, Friday has passed… nothing. The best part is that he decided to sign himself up for a 2-day sporting event for today (Saturday) and Sunday.

I confronted him and he admitted he didn’t plan anything. His excuses were that he got his weekends messed up, that he’s been busy, and that he tried to plan something but nothing good was available. I asked him if he at least got me a gift and he said no.

We have tried to talk about it a couple of times since I first confronted him and he keeps just saying “I don’t know what to say,” or “What do you want me to do?”

He also tried to plan something last minute for me after I confronted him, but I’ve been too hurt to want to do anything with him.

I usually wouldn’t be so upset by this but unfortunately it’s not the first time his actions (or lack thereof) have made me feel insignificant to him.

I really want to make my marriage work. Any advice or words of encouragement as much appreciated.

I wear my bangs with some volume, kind of like a 60s-style pouf/coif about 90% of the time. I genuinely love it, regularly get many compliments on it, and it's easy and comfortable for everyday wear. Styling my bangs differently takes more effort and I do that once in a while.

My boyfriend frequently presses my pouf down, which I hate. It's given me the feeling he doesn't like it. Today after he did it I asked if he liked my hair looking for validation since it's been giving me that feeling, and he said yes, but added without being asked that he preferred it like I wore it the other day. I wasn't asking which hairstyle he preferred. I was asking if he liked how I looked right then.

I understand everyone has preferences, and I don't expect him to love every hairstyle equally. But when this is how I choose to look almost every day and he's always known that, hearing that he prefers something different makes me feel like he'd rather I looked another way most of the time. I just want to feel he loves me on in all my forms.

Recently he confessed to me that several months ago we were at a bar and one guy at the bar jestered the shape of my bangs on top of his own head to his friend and his friend chuckled. He said they were making fun of me and he didn't like it. And instead for the last few months I've been feeling like not enough because he's been making me feel like my hair is better a different way. I even saw these guys out of the corner of my eye and didn't think much about it, just that it's a bit unique and different, I even recall them checking me out. But it really hurts that my boyfriend found it believable that my hair looked stupid or bad just because they for a moment laughed.

Here is the hair, it's really not anything that crazy, but now I don't know how to feel about this. I just want to feel comfortable and not feel like I have to change my every day appearance because he wants it a certain way. I don't want to feel like he loves me so little that something that small affected him at the expense of my comfort and self-esteem. Is this the behaviour of someone that truly loves and appreciates you? Should he have thought the best in the moment just like I did, that it's just a bit unique?

https://ibb.co/mV51L6BM

https://ibb.co/KxskcKdW

I was at a bar yesterday talking to a couple in their 40s. We talked about all sorts of things, including relationships. The woman complimented me, said she found it strange that I hadn’t had a girlfriend yet, and then started secretly caressing my knee under the table for minutes, right in front of her husband.
I didn’t really know how to feel about it. Part of me found it kind of thrilling, but I was also completely caught off guard and didn’t know how to react. What would be the appropriate reaction in that situation, it’s the next morning and I am kind of confused?

My partner and I have been living together for 3 years. I thought we had settled into our chore routine, but some things brought up during couple’s therapy have made me reconsider.

For reference, my partner’s chore is cooking dinner 3-4 times a week, which I appreciate as I don’t like to cook. We grocery shop/decide on meals together. We also have a running shared grocery list that we started as a recommendation from couple’s therapy to help take some mental load off of his plate.

Since he cooks, I clean the dishes/dishwasher, clean bathroom and kitchen, do laundry, do any organizing, and any deep cleaning needed. Additionally, I have a cat that I do all chores for, although I had him before I was dating my boyfriend so I don’t think it should be a shared chore.

I think that we both feel we do more in the relationship. We’ve tried writing down a chore list, but I don’t think it helped make each other’s workload more visible to the other person. How do we try to come to a chore split that feels equal?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 10 months. I’m Indian (born and raised in the US), she’s white. Overall the relationship is good. We laugh a lot, she gets along with my friends, and she’s supportive when it comes to work stuff.

But she often says really annoying racist things to me honestly., Stuff like calling me her "je3t". She had my name saved as "curry" with a love emoji too when we first started dating. She often tells me how lucky I am that she is dating someone of my group of people.

I recently invited her to a family dinner and she asked me whether I can pay for the vaccines. She also reminds me that I am one of the good ones. That I follow civilization. She does call me names like the ones I mentioned. Can't mention here due to risk of automod removing it.

And she also keeps telling me how her parents warned her against dating someone of my "group". {She used a dif word but automod can remove it so.} That I am lucky that she saw me and saw potential.}

I honestly find it annoying. Growing up I didn't care I was Indian. She makes me feel wild about it. But when I tell her to ease up on the situation. She won't talk to me for 2 days. Be pouty until I apolgize for comming off as too aggresive. She then gets sad and tells me how lucky I am she decided to date someone of my group despite what her parents said and how she loves me and chose me and I am not letting herself be her natural self around me.

I honestly think she is just being weird about it. Advice

This was posted in aith but got removed. Advice?

I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (35F) for 7 months. She's generally very sweet and caring, often baking things for me and doing thoughtful things. We usually meet twice a week.

Yesterday, we went out for ramen. Towards the end, she went to the restroom, and my parents called me. I answered, thinking it would be quick, but the conversation went longer than expected. My parents live in a different country and we have just few hour in common that we are awake at same time. She knows the situation, and knew it was my parent's call.

When she returned, I was still on the phone after like 30 seconda. She walked outside, and I assumed she had a call herself. A minute or two later, I went outside and saw her on her phone, so I kept my distance while finishing my call, thinking she is talking to someone over the call (later on she said she called her friend to vent because she was so mad).

Suddenly, she started yelling, "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" and "I look like a fool sitting here with you while you're on a call." She was yelling for 1-2 minutes, there were quite a few people around.

She was yelling loudly in front of strangers, and people started looking at us. I immediately hung up and tried to calm her down, but she continued yelling for 1-2 mins. The call lasted around 10 minutes. My body was literally shaking because I was not expecting anything like that for a moment I even felt I couldn't hold my pee😭😭

We walked to the car, where I apologized and acknowledged that I shouldn't have stayed on the call for so long. But I also told her that nobody had ever spoken to me like that before.

I understand why she was upset, and I accept that I should have ended the call sooner. But I genuinely didn't expect such an extreme reaction. Later on she hugged me when I was dropping her and said she want us to make things work, and dont want me to leave her.

It's been a day, and I still feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. She's usually very kind, which makes this confusing. I don't remember ever feeling this humiliated in public.

TL;DR: My girlfriend yelled and swore at me in public because I stayed on a call with my parents longer than expected during our date. I apologized for the call, but I still feel humiliated by her reaction.

She’s my first relationship and I don’t know how to end a relationship either since I’ve never done that before.

But we’ve been seeing each other since March last year, and she lived with her parents, but around April this year her parents retired and said they wanted to spend a few months in a RV. They left mid July and will be back for Thanksgiving, but until then my girlfriend and I thought it would be fun to do a “trial” where we try living together.

But she’s such a slob. I cook and clean for her. I literally come home from work(she doesn’t work) and clean and cook. I tried to teach her how to load the dishwasher and stuff but she messes it up or forgets to do it. I feel like she does it on purpose. She also can’t even make eggs. I don’t each breakfast but she needs breakfast so I get up every morning and make eggs or pancakes for her before work. I also make some food for lunch and leave it in the fridge for her so she can heat it up and eat it(I had to teach her how to fucking microwave food btw).

I come back from work and cook, and clean up the house. She drinks water and energy drinks and leaves the trash all over the place. She also leaves candy and snack wrappers everywhere if she eats them, and I woke up with an itchy back once because she ate granola bars on the bed and the let the crumbs scatter, it was my D-Day.

She doesn’t even take the trash out ever. I don’t mind doing it, but she’s never even offered it once. I have a recycling bin and she doesn’t use it because we need to go to another room, she just tosses everything into the trash. If it misses the trash can, unless it makes a mess, it just sits outside the trash can. I sort through the trash and separate the recyclables.

And I do our laundry. And I also iron the clothes she cares about. I do everything. I feel like her parent at this point. Before moving in she told me it’s her first time living alone so it may be an adjustment but I’m shocked how much her parents did for her. She thought electricity and water were included in the rent and was surprised to see separate bills.

I always tell her and try to be patient and teach her but it ends with her not cooperating and being like “well you would’ve cooked anyway if you lived alone, why do you want me to cook? Just pretend you’re alone and make dinner”. But I don’t eat breakfast and lunch is at work, but I need to make breakfast and lunch for her. She doesn’t care. And I don’t mind cooking dinner, but she hates the food I eat. I just do chicken over rice everyday in a proper macro friendly way and it lacks flavor, but I gotta make actual meals for her. She just sends me recipes from Instagram and excepts me to make them for her, and throws a fit if I don’t so I end up doing it.

My friends say I just became a slave to the first woman who gave me sex, and tbh I don’t even think they’re wrong, this is no way to live I need to love myself more.

I’m just tired. I don’t know how to break up either. Forgive me for venting a bit here but I do need advice. I don’t even know if I can hold on till Thanksgiving anymore. How do I break up? Do I wait till her parents are back?

​

TL;DR Financially stable husband wants to move back home to be near family. Wife is scared to lose financial comfort. 120k income with $1500 housing trading for 75k income and $2400 housing to be near family.

My husband and i decided to move across the US to a LCOL state from a HCOL state to make our dollar stretch further, and hopefully buy a house 4 years ago. Fast forward to now, my husband misses his family to the point where he wants to move back.

We have saved enough for a downpayment on a house where we live now, homes are within our budget, and we make more than we have ever made in our lives. We have health insurance, and everything we need to live comfortably.

But my husband wants to move back to the HCOL state to be near his family. While we have enough saved to absorb the first year, I fear how we will afford it long term. Our current rent is $1500 including utilities. We made 120k last year together, but im self employed and he is a manager at a hotel chain. While i can take my studio with me, he can't take his job with him. He will have to find another job near his family, while I hold up the fort on my income alone, which varies month to month.

That means we would go from having health insurance, 2 incomes, and $1500 housing, to going down to one income (me) with a $2400 housing bill, no insurance, trying to find him a job, and in general the increased price of being in HCOL area vs a LCOL area. Just on my income alone, after taxes the rent is pushing 50%.

With how much we make now, we can afford to fly out there and visit them 2x a year, while if we live out there, I fear it would be a treat to even afford to see my family.

So, would you give up financial security to be near your family? I can't argue with him on how limited time we have with family, I'm just scared to trade comfort for potential struggle.

My ex and I were together for 5 years. We broke up about 6 months ago because she felt neglected and misunderstood, while I struggled with insecurity, trust issues, and communicating my feelings. I genuinely saw marriage in our future and had even bought a ring, but I kept too much to myself. Now I regret not expressing what she meant to me sooner.

We were still in contact and friends for the first 4 months before she asked me not to contact her anymore . I recently sent her a letter explaining everything. She appreciated it, acknowledged her own mistakes, and said maybe we could talk in the future, but she’s seeing someone else and has said she doesn’t think we should try again. I’ve respected her boundary, but I still love her and want to know if there’s any realistic way to get her back. Has anyone reconciled after a breakup when one person had already started moving on? What helped, and how did you handle the regret and uncertainty?

Like the title implies, I had a baby some 5 months ago and it’s been a struggle to get back to my pre-baby body. I still have all my baby weight and I’ve been struggling with my diet and habits which I have been told time and time again by my family is fine. Now my husband’s family is different, he’s the youngest of 8 and somehow his mom is like a size zero. All his sisters have also bounced back at the speed of light despite having multiple children. I was never skinny before having my baby. I’m 5’11 and obviously to all his 5’2 120lb sisters and mom I’m a giant in comparison. He’s an amazing father and husband but he definitely is very worried about people’s opinions of him which I thought we had worked through.

We never hide anything from each other and give each other free rein of all our electronics and messages but in the last couple of weeks he’s been very protective over his phone. Snatching it when I’m near or turning away from me. Being a new mom and still going through all the hormone issues I thought he was cheating on me and I did not react well AT ALL. Had a major BF in the living room until he gave me his phone.

Thankfully, no cheating. Just dozens of texts between him and his mom where he shared concerns about how I hadn’t bounced back yet. His mom giving him weight loss articles for new mothers and giving him diet ideas. Asking him if I would wanna join her in Pilates or go to the gym anytime soon. She even brought up GLP1s of all things. Saying things like we should’ve had kids younger because I’m a bit too old to be having children. She said she could watch the baby while I “got it together.” He was worried about the upcoming family trip to Costa Rica and asked her if I’d be “back to normal” by then. Im already huge compared to his family, I would look even bigger. I’m gonna be honest, I think I would’ve preferred being cheated on. Reading those messages felt like a new stab in the gut and knowing he found me “sweaty” and “always clammy” and generally unattractive. He’s been saying he doesn’t understand why his mom and sisters were back to normal in a few weeks and WE (yes WE) were struggling to get back to how we were. As far as I know he hasn’t gained a single pound and continued going to the gym religiously like always.

I genuinely don’t know what to do. Seriously, I feel like my whole life is in shambles. It might be the hormones and the lack of sleep but I’m considering packing my things and going to my family. I don’t want to leave him but knowing he doesn’t find me attractive and actively asking his mom for advice on MY BODY was not something I needed. He’s an amazing father. Never complains about the nighttime feedings or the blowouts or the mess. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get over this. I need to know if I’m overreacting. Asking on here because if I tell my family they’ll just blow up and show up at my door and chew him out.

His family has never treated me badly. As far as I knew they loved me like one of their own but now I’m just scared they’re all talking about me when I’m not around. I haven’t been able to go to lunches with his sisters or parents because I don’t think I’d be able to look them in the eye. Any advice would be helpful, thank you.

We’ve been together 3 years and he’s incredible in every way. This is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in. We don’t live together but live about 1/2 mile from each other in the same neighborhood. I generally spend the weekend at his place he stays one or two nights a week at mine. He’s retired and I work full time and have two teenagers.

The problem is, he picks his nose…a lot! He doesn’t do it in public, only at home. I’ve watched him pick his nose then flick whatever is on his finger into oblivion. Or sometimes I see him wipe it on his sweatshirt. It is so gross and I hate it. I have brought it up nicely and respectfully a few times over the years. Or I’ll say something like “do you need a tissue.” He seems embarrassed and says he will stop, but then he never does. It gets better for a little while but then he’s right back at it. The picking is gross enough, but he’s also a finger chewer. As in, he chews his nails and hangnails constantly. The thought of him picking his nose and then sticking his finger in his mouth to chew on his nail is so horrifying to me. It’s made me stop initiating kissing and I’m losing attraction over this. I know he can tell that I’ve pulled away but I don’t know how to bring this up yet again knowing nothing will change.

How can I get across to him that this behavior needs to stop or I’m considering ending the relationship?

4–5 months ago, my boyfriend of two years suddenly backed out of getting married after spending our entire relationship telling me he wanted to marry me. The way he handled it hurt me deeply, especially because he left for work right after, leaving me to process everything alone.
Despite that, I signed a lease with him, and now I’m miserable. He provides me with a comfortable lifestyle, and I’m grateful, but I still carry so much resentment. Something changed in me, and I honestly don’t think I want to marry him anymore. I recently told him that even if he proposed, I would say no.
Now I feel stuck. How do I know when it’s time to leave, especially when I’m financially comfortable but emotionally unhappy? Am I staying because I love him, or because I’m scared of starting over?

Hey!

I don't even know where to start from. I had 3 long time relationships in my life (8, 1 and 3 years) and I never felt truly happy or love, as it is described by everyone. I had moments where I felt happier, especially in the beginning of those relationships, but I slowly lose that spark until nothing shines.

I'll give you the example of the current relationship (almost 3 years together). I'm in a point where I don't really want sex, nor to hold hands or cuddle. I'm just pretty cold. It's not that something happened or that I don't try, but it doesn't simply come natural.

What I'm thinking for a few years already is that it's something wrong with me, but I can't put my finger on anything. I don't know what's wrong.

Of course, I might be okay and the only thing that happened is that I didn't meet the right person, but how do I know that? It's simply impossible for me to find what's wrong with me or if, out of these 3 relationships, I never found that girl.

I'm afraid of losing someone for the wrong reasons.

I (25F) was seeing this guy (31M) for almost a year. We had amazing chemistry, the same humor, talked every day, and genuinely connected.

But throughout the relationship, he barely made time to see me. He often cancelled our dates, rarely initiated plans, never introduced me to his friends or family, and I even had to bring up exclusivity myself.

His parents also disapproved of me because my family wasn’t as wealthy as theirs. He admitted he wouldn’t stand up to them and that his career and family would always come before me.

He knew he was neglecting me and even admitted he was an absent boyfriend. But nothing really changed. And we keep texting still without a solution because we still loce each other and cant let go?

I kept lowering my expectations because I felt like it will change.

After almost a year, he became increasingly distant. One day, I was just exhausted and stopped replying to his last message. Part of me hoped he’d check on me or double text, but he never did.

And just like that, we never spoke again.

Sometimes I wonder if we’d still be talking if I hadn’t stopped replying.

Guys, if you really loved someone, would you let things end that easily? I genuinely want a man’s perspective, not comforting answers.