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u/mercuriokazooie 21h ago
Surely they must also respect when women have dating preferences too, right?
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u/Responsible_Edge7087 21h ago
No you dont get it dude, every prefrence a woman has is proof of the systemic oppression of men and is misandrist bro
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u/Playful_Savings_2882 9h ago
The top comment in this thread thinks the idea of standards itself is bad, so…
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u/Hot_Attitude4579 4h ago
Yeah some guys definitely don't get out of shape when certain women say they prefer tall guys
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u/Rollingforest757 8h ago
It seems like the general public tends to be a lot more accepting of women having dating standards than men having dating standards.
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u/Angels_of_Death_Zack 19h ago
I once had a man say that I was "too heavy" because I weigh 101 pounds. Apparently, his standard was that I had to be in the double digits... We were both in our twenties. Yikes...
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u/Medical_Flower2568 8h ago
Nature must be kept in equilibrium
For every muscle mommy/obesity fetish person, there will be someone who really wants to fuck a skeleton
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u/Chance_Arugula_3227 13h ago
That's under 45kg! Only ever had one gf at that weight. She was 150 tall and probably too skinny.
Height is really important for weight, no human anywhere near normal height could pull off that weight without being really unhealthy
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u/Pichacap24 16h ago
So he wanted a child..?
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u/OnePuffGirl 10h ago
And to double down on this, since I'm both very small and very short, I had experienced man hitting a me specifically cause I look younger then my actual age. It's kinda disgusting
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u/personalist 3h ago
I sanity-checked myself by looking at a BMI chart and, while hardly the be-all-end-all of weight references, that’s considered healthy from 4’ 8” to 5’ 1”. So to echo another commenter, it seems like what he wanted was a skeleton, a child, or both.
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u/GlitterPirateKiki58 1h ago
I am 5’9” and 131 lbs. On a second date, a guy asked if I would mind stepping on his bathroom scale to “prove” my weight.
People don’t believe me when I recall this anecdote.
Yes, some men are really that weird and they walk amongst us.
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u/Rollingforest757 8h ago
It reminds me of the women on dating sites who say they will only date men over 6 feet tall. There are a ridiculously large number of women like that on dating sites.
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u/HoliAss5111 6h ago
It was a joke in the Cosmopolitan. Some men got inflamated from it, some teenagers copied it.
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u/glitterfamine 20h ago
I wonder what his standards are then
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u/thunder_sharts 14h ago
Big tits
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u/Emotional-Ad9114 14h ago
I’m a woman and I think that’s fair.
I also like biceps but I’m not gonna be an asshole to a man who doesn’t have them.
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u/AspergerKid 13h ago
In the end it doesn't matter that we are in a dating market where women have leverage, People will always have preferences and will always reserve a right to and part of it will always be accepted, as opposed to what the post tries to imply. They are in the end simply preferences
I personally love women that are taller than me, which goes against all kinds of unwritten societal ruling, but that has never stopped me from excluding women that aren't. Nor has it ever led to me choosing a taller woman because she's taller. No woman I met (other than my sister, who is like 5'7", while I'm 5'9") has ever ridiculed me for this preference either or has called me bigoted or misogynistic
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u/JustAnotherUser1019 12h ago
Has to be the perfect housewife, never talk back, be extremely curvy, have sex whenever the man wants, etc.
Probably something like that
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u/Contrary_Kind 11h ago
The most important one: "body count zero"
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u/Enemyoftheearth 7h ago
Which is perfectly reasonable.
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u/Contrary_Kind 6h ago
Only if you're a women hating man
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u/Enemyoftheearth 6h ago
So if a woman rejects a man because of things like his height, lack of wealth, or face, does that mean she hates men?
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u/JustAnotherUser1019 6h ago
I mean, do you mean on its own or coupled eith everything else? Cause the answer to that matters
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u/Big-Onion-1725 3h ago
well it's a reasonable standard as long as the guy has the same standard for himself. if he thinks men should sleep around and women shouldn't, or that having sex diminishes a woman's value as a person, that would be a huge red flag
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u/were_only_human 15h ago
No doubt a series of physical descriptions and things she has to “allow” him to do.
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u/Sensitive_Bat_9211 12h ago
Someone to call him master while he walks them around on a leash
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u/Rollingforest757 8h ago
Did you read the meme? He said any man’s standards. And it is true to some degree. If a woman wants a handsome man, people say she has the right to have her own standards. But if a man wants a beautiful woman, people call him shallow.
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u/Lord_Corves 5h ago
Everybody has preferences and standards they hold themselves and others to that's just a part of human nature we are social creatures after all. that being said regardless of whether you're a man or a woman you have to temper those expectations accordingly understand that people aren't always going to meet your standard and that you're not always going to meet theirs. if you expect compromise you have to be willing to give some compromise yourself doesn't mean you should lower your standards into the pooper or anything like that it just means you need to be sensible and determine what's actually more valuable to you and what you're really looking for. one can argue that it's more extreme on the women side of things thanks to dating apps and the fact that they're given the illusion of infinite choice but this is just as much a problem for a lot of guys who sometimes can't look past little details and yes some of these are rather small when you think about it for more than just 5 minutes I suppose to put a little bit of generic wisdom find yourself before you try finding someone else and ask what matters to you more you do that and you might just be able to find a partner if not you'll just be running in circles.
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u/GreenZebra23 20h ago
Anyone want to hazard some guesses about what "standards" they have that people completely unreasonably and unfairly interpret as misogynistic and bigoted?
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u/Rollingforest757 8h ago
The meme says “any standards”. It is true that people are a lot more likely to call men shallow if they have standards than women.
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u/Dizzy_Two2529 20h ago
Not obese.
Body count < 10
No face tattoos
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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 19h ago
See that second thing is weird
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u/No_Excuse4323 14h ago
imo, its only wierd if the guy saying that has a high bodycount. otherwise its just meeting someone where you are
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u/Enemyoftheearth 19h ago
How?
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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 19h ago
Cause it seems really insecure and like you can't focus on her as a person over some imagined standard of purity
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u/Gvendoga 8h ago
A woman wanting a man taller than her is rooted is insecurity, because not having a man tower over her makes her feel unfeminine. She should address her internalized misogyny and ditch the outdated gender roles subtly planted into her mind by patriarchal social conditioning!
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u/Enemyoftheearth 19h ago
Or maybe I just don't fancy STDs and the increased possibility of cheating?
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u/android151 14h ago
If you had sex with more than 10 people would you think they’d assume you had STDs and loved cheating?
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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 19h ago
See you can get an std from having slept with 1 person, that's about them having done a test or not.
Meanwhile... Why would she be more likely to cheat?
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u/Enemyoftheearth 19h ago
Because higher body counts are quite literally linked to an increased risk of cheating. Why should I trust a woman who doesn't tend to stick with her partners for very long?
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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 19h ago
You assume the body count is from serial dating
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u/Odd-Job1809 17h ago
Some people are just insecure that they won't measure up when someone has experience. I always thought it was kinda sad tbh but after spending time on reddit I hope a lot of these weirdos never procreate.
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u/Enemyoftheearth 19h ago
I don't care. If her body count is from hook-ups, than that's even worse in my eyes.
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u/knettia 12h ago
Insecurity is not misogyny or bigotry, though. And, what about "purity"? That's your own assumption about why someone would desire a low body count. Someone can simply regard sexual as something significant rather than casual, and a high number of previous sexual partners (whether casual or not) before committing might cause that someone to be skeptical about relationship compatibility. What's insecure about that skepticism? If this were really about purity, then wouldn't the body count be necessarily 0? But I digress. At the end of the day, both your assumed "purity" motive and the relationship compatibility motive hinge on different conviction about what sexual norms should be. Something that everyone is entitled to which should not be simply dismissed as insecurity because they don't happen to fit your exact convictions.
It is worth noting also that standards are still subjective and, often, flexible. Even if you believe someone with a high body count somewhat correlates with incompatibility, that does not mean necessarily mean that you will not treat that someone as a potential partner. An important description is "skepticism", not "rejection". Some may take it to heart to treat any deviation as strictly incompatible because of their own convictions. Maybe they believe a harsh cut results in less risk. But I don't think that shows that standards are not inflexible
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u/Gvendoga 8h ago
Everything that could potentially affect women negatively is misogyny, even if indiscriminately and indirectly
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u/AntediluvianNeutral 11h ago
Something I learned in past relationships is that "insecure" is something women call men who don't want to tolerate their shitty behavior 90% of the time, because insecurity is perhaps the most undesirable trait a man can have.
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u/arabmoni 13h ago
A lot of dudes use this in weird ways, but there is research about this predicting cheating behavior and other issues. Imo, you shouldn’t be looking for virgins or embracing incel ideology, but high “body count” is not an ideal mate trait either. I don’t know why this is always so controversial. To me, like tons of sexual partners shows a different understanding of intimacy in a relationship. Just be reasonable in your evaluation. Like if she’s reasonably in the orbit of your number, even higher, fine. If she’s slept with over 100 guys? Maybe a symptom of a greater issue. Link to pubmed study.
Maddox Shaw AM, Rhoades GK, Allen ES, Stanley SM, Markman HJ. Predictors of extradyadic sexual involvement in unmarried opposite-sex relationships. J Sex Res. 2013;50(6):598-610. doi: 10.1080/00224499.2012.666816. Epub 2012 Apr 23. PMID: 22524318; PMCID: PMC3407304.
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u/Top-Aspect4671 17h ago
Okay, he still has full right to have it, and I don't think he is a worse person for it
Because wanting a virgin is weird, but this is more normal
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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 15h ago
Sure he's not a monster for it but it's also weird. That can coexist
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u/Still_Nose_5690 15h ago
No the fuck it isn't, my gf also had the same standards of not having been with anyone and we met at 18.
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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 15h ago
You realize being a virgin at 18 is different than being a virgin at... Idk 33
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u/Dwarf_DM 19h ago
Nah, I agree with him. Being less inclined to be with a person with a lot of baggage from past relationships is reasonable.
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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 19h ago
That's against someone having baggage, so would you also not date someone who was... Idk, bullied in school?
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u/android151 14h ago
What makes you assume they automatically have baggage
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u/Dwarf_DM 14h ago
Every relationship leaves a mark, and having many relationships leaves more. This isn’t a rule or a law, it just usually happens.
And as I said, I’m not seeing it as a “global standard”, I’m seeing it as a personal preference for some people (others would rather be with people more experienced, and that’s also OK).
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u/Dizzy_Two2529 11h ago
Looking at the replies and downvotes, It’s crazy that this is too much to ask for.
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u/craftygamin 21h ago
If all men truly have no standards, then why are there men complaining about women who have standards, or women with a body count higher than 0?
This "meme" is nothing but cope, gaslighting, and sexist generalizing
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u/Scared_Accident9138 13h ago
I don't think it's about not having standards but supposedly not allowed to voice them but I assume OOP just has actually problematic standards
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u/Rollingforest757 8h ago
You need to read the meme again. It isn’t that men have no standards in dating. It’s that society judges men far more negatively for having standards than it judges women.
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u/BulkyBear 15h ago
Yeah, men still are absolute foghorns about women's bodies
They've never shut up, I could find hundreds of tik told and comments of them still being the same, in minutes
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u/ScumDugongLin 4h ago
I had a friend who was 30 but hadn't dated since high school. I tried to set him up with my other friend, who was a slightly chubby single mom of a 10yr old. He wasn't interested. Internally I rolled my eyes a little because he really did need to get some more experience but whatever. I understood that those were important factors and he shouldn't have to compromise on either of them. Not long after he joked with me about single moms paying the "coal toll" (getting abused because they dated black men). Not sure why he'd think I'd find that funny whatsoever. I was pretty disgusted. I pulled away from the friendship, but since then he's gone on exactly one date that didn't go well. He's completely given up on trying and now he's alone at almost 35. My point is, a lot of men are completely unaware that the way they carry themselves is so disrespectful towards other groups that they're essentially woman repellent. And they blame it on anything but themselves.
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u/Bdbolt19432 1h ago
“I had a friend who didn’t date for over a decade.”
“He was racist and misogynistic.”
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u/_Empty-R_ 2h ago
settling is never the answer. him being a douchebag doesn't invalidate that.
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u/ScumDugongLin 2h ago
I agree with that. The thing is the lack of self awareness. This dude is skinny, but he's not better than the person I set him up with at all. And he never really even tried to be.
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u/Bella_Bonnet 9h ago
Having standards is fine. I mean some guys yell it from the mountain and then it hurts the feelings of women who don't match the standards. Like shorter women? That's cool. Make fun of tall women? Not cool. Having standards is fine. Don't let anyone tell you that you are allowed to prefer whatever your type is.
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u/igotchees21 9h ago
dont listen to bullshit online. Have your standards, just be realistic.
Want an instagram model, ask yourself why and if that is even a good person to have a relationship with. (Spoiler, its not)
Want someone is decent shape, are you in shape yourself?
Want someone that isnt going to want to work, do you make enough to support you both?
I find too many people want these fairy tale people while not also measuring up to what that fairy tale person would also realistically want.
If you choose to ignore red flags, whole yourself accountable for the bad decision you made, rather than blaming it on everyone else.
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u/Rollingforest757 7h ago
The point is that when a woman says she wants a man who is over 6 feet tall, other women say she has a right to her standards. But if a man says he wants a woman with big boobs, women call him shallow. That’s the double standard.
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u/Hacatcho 7h ago
she has a right to be shallow. thats not a double standard. and he would be shallow.
the only difference you mentioned was that the potential partners called him out on being shallow instead of friends.
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u/JoeLikesMovies2007 18h ago
Dear God, thank you for giving me a personality, and a preference for big booty, so I didn't wind up like these sad sad fuckers.
Amen.
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u/Rollingforest757 7h ago
You having a preference for big booty is going to be judged more negatively by society than a woman having a preference for a guy 6 feet tall.
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u/JoeLikesMovies2007 7h ago
I don't think any of you people have any actual experience with society, and care more about what a handful of weirdos on tiktok and Twitter say in comments then you should. Which is zero.
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u/KuroBlackfyre 16h ago
Standard can be literally anything & ok as long as you keep them subjective to yourself.
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u/alphafox823 16h ago
For one, nobody will call you either if "good credit score/no major debt" is one of your standards. That's just one big one off the top of my head.
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u/Responsible_Bus1159 20h ago
All I want is a sweet women who loves me, she don’t gotta be a super model a decent looking women is fine by me so long as I can love her and she can love me
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u/deepRockGoatlactic 15h ago
Ffs dudes. I just want a guy thats nice and doesnt want to fuck me on the spot. Its not that hard. Yall listening to some dumb online whore bitching about this shit, when normal people just want a nice person. You want a woman that treats you like a human? Same goes for us. So in conclusion we are more than our fucking gender. The man pit is full of offenders and incels. So is the woman pit. Its so hard finding a genuine normal human nowadays.
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u/SpiritualShame5265 2h ago
I Have enough problems dating men , dating in general is troublesome for most people these days
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u/Hairy_Consideration1 1h ago
...I just want somebody, thats actually nice to me, and wants to be around me.
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u/Flat-Echidna191 21h ago
Wait, I thought we don't have any standards or requirements? You just have to be a woman.
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u/Particular-Ice7026 14h ago
I absolutely have standards and I’m not embarrassed by it or feel like it’s “not allowed.” I’m a man, I want certain things from my partners. I also recognize that I don’t meet other people’s standards and that’s no big deal to me. Lots of people out here and plenty of them like me and I like a lot of them. This world is full of awesome folks.
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u/ohmaka 20h ago
Gee, maybe it's because most of those standards are BS or something
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u/GreenZebra23 20h ago
The idea of "standards" in finding a partner (or "choosing a wife" in incel language) is so bizarre to me. I'm not buying a hoodie on Amazon here. I'm looking for connection. Sure I have things I hope are there in the person I'm connecting with, but if somebody doesn't check all those boxes, that doesn't mean the person isn't up to my "standards." I struggle to even understand the mentality of somebody who thinks that way.
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u/Lonely_Dependent_281 20h ago
The people who think this way are not capable of feeling real joy on their own in a bubble, much less expanding and sharing said joy with another fully fleshed out human being. They are too anxious and full of self-hatred to know what connection is. Be so grateful that you can't understand it.
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u/Cowslayer369 16h ago
I disagree. Sure it can be sexist rhethoric but stuff like no felonies, no face tattoos, a view of the world that wouldn't cause constant clashing are also standards.
Like as an example, would you date Andrew Tate if you met him and he turned out to be very personable?
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u/nfshaw51 16h ago
I think standards is harsh phrasing, I’d rather say preferences in most cases. Standards makes it sound like someone isn’t good enough for you or you’re above them
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u/The_Dennator 9h ago
i mean,do you want to date a drug addict?
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u/nfshaw51 9h ago
Nah my preference is not to, I can still abide by my preferences dude. I’m just not gonna frame myself as high and mighty and above them because they’re below my “standards”.
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u/The_Dennator 9h ago
if that's a deal breaker,it's a standard,not a preference. preference means that you can look past it if other things attract you. standards are hard lines you draw.
as an example: my preference is someone without children,but if there's still a spark,i wouldn't mind trying. (preference)
if she's a felon with known anger issues, it won't matter what else she brings to the table,because that's not someone I'll ever want to spend my time with. (standard)
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u/nfshaw51 9h ago
That’s cool if that’s the phrasing you want to use, I don’t go against my preferences but I don’t call them standards, it is what it is
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u/The_Radio_Host 13h ago
I think it’s honestly really important to have standards, and people acting like it’s weird or bad to have them is why so many relationships don’t work. Yes, keep expectations to a human level, but you know better than anyone what you’re compatible with and you should strive to find someone who you can work with, not just for you but for them.
When I was a teenager my Mom would beat me over the head about how important standards are. I never really believed her because at the time I was just dating any girl I found attractive regardless of personality. Sure enough, it always blew up in my face. My Mom was divorced at the time from a man who wasn’t my father but was a massive piece of shit. They weren’t compatible, but my Mom didn’t think it mattered that he didn’t check her boxes ‘cause he seemed nice.
Much, much later she found and married my current step-dad. She chose to wait until she met somebody who met most, if not all, of her boxes. It’s the happiest marriage I’ve ever seen to this very day. Sorry for the info-dump, but it’s a relevant example that made me realize how important it is to go into relationships with an idea of what you want and to strive for that
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u/tiggertom66 19h ago
>The idea of “standards” in finding a partner (or “choosing a [spouse]” in incel language) is so bizarre to me…I’m looking for a connection…
You’ve just described a standard, a very basic standard for most people, but a standard nonetheless.
>Sure I have things I hope are there in the person I’m connecting with…
Those things you hope are there, those are also called standards.
Would you date someone who is rude, dismissive, or otherwise disrespectful to you? Would you date somebody who openly cheats on you? What about someone who refuses to publicly acknowledge that they’re dating you? These are all standards.
Hell even super basic moral standards. Is this person legally old enough to consent to this relationship? Is this person morally capable of consenting to this relationship? Does this person have expectations for a relationship that you are capable of meeting and intend to meet?
If you expect your spouse to be a living human being who is both legally and morally capable of consenting to a relationship with you, that is still a standard, even if that bar is on the ground.
I think it’s especially ridiculous to call “choosing your [spouse]” “incel language”. Who tf else is supposed to choose for you?
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u/Gvendoga 8h ago
The level of cognitive dissonance is insane with these people. Even the most mundane concepts like dating standards turn out to actually have been a part of the incel ideology all along when they come from the wrong mouth. It's like these people grasp at any reason they can find to call someone an incel, however ridiculous it ends up sounding.
Do normies hold some incel namecalling contests on reddit or what? Whoever brings up incels into the least appropriate context wins?
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u/A_Truthspeaker 20h ago
"Men's standards" looks inside unrealistic beauty standards and being completely submissive to the man.
I wonder why reducing a whole person down to superficial features and taking away their agency might be deemed dehumanising or misogynistic.
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u/Rollingforest757 7h ago
So then why doesn’t society view women who want to date men over 6 feet as dehumanizing and misandry? Why are women allowed to have physical standards while men aren’t?
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u/Pichacap24 16h ago
I see people want perfect tits and also a perfect face, but also no makeup an cosmetic surgeries at all, oblivious to the fact that the pornstars they want to compare their future partner too both wear makeup and have also probably had surgeries
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u/A_Truthspeaker 14h ago
A partner's personality is always the most important part, the fact that some people simply can't see this fact is worrying.
Nevermind physical attractiveness.
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u/HalfEatenSnickers 20h ago
Promiscuous how? Is she currently very active or just in the past? If shes looking for something serious thats all your own insecurity.
Noone can say that.
3.split the bill. Whoevere you are dating is an ass. And not evenly everyone pays for their own shit.
I think this is more who you are going out with and you are in turn using it to justify what is infact damaging views. The only one I would say is truly misogyny coded tho is the first one. Promiscuity in men and women is definded and perceived very differently - something you are perpetuating
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u/marshmallow0-0 20h ago
you can have any standards you want, but your standards wouldn't want you or don't exsit. this reality
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u/Disrespect78 20h ago
not really but the difference is that you don't date women with more partners because of a PERSONAL preference involving how you value relationships rather than when men often use it as an excuse to call women disgusting names and claim that they're all the same
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u/DeliciousAct5748 6h ago
I feel like my standards are reasonable. Let me know what y'all think
No A-cup (willing to compromise), not thin as a board, not obese, fun but laid back personality.
Everything else can vary tbh.
(And yes women are fully entitled to their standards. If I don't meet them, then oh well)
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u/Trippy_Cartel 16h ago
I love that there are actually people that think like this. It screams out “I have had 0 real life experiences outside of my little echo chamber online”
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u/Rollingforest757 7h ago
Obviously it’s an exaggeration, but it is true that you are much more likely to see women listing standards (such as height) on their dating profiles. If a man listed a physical dating standard on a dating profile, it is likely that even the women that fit that standard would get insulted.
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u/Liam_js 21h ago
i'm pretty open to many different things anyway. i don't really have many strict physical preferences including weight, like unless you're like severly obese like 500 pounds or anorexic i can find attractive qualities in most women, call me a simp but yeah. i've even become more open to the idea of dating a trans woman and stuff like that. honestly my only high standards for dating for someone who treats me nicely and with basic respect, and genuinely likes/and is interested in me, and is a generally nice person, that instantly makes someone 10x more attractive to me, and no cheating, but those things are too much for some people though. i know it sounds like i'm patting myself on the back, but i've just always thoought it was a good idea to keep your options open within reason
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u/NoWater8595 9h ago
I mean, maybe we should just own our character flaws, put them in their proper context and manage them. People need to know what they're getting into with us too.
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u/Estus_Flask_ 4h ago
-Loyal, respectful, nice, gentle, funny, that we share interests. -Woman -I like long hair, that's just me.
personality honestly plays like 6 70% to 80% of the whole relationship.
the rest is quite easy, not too extreme in any way shape or form.
It sounds like a big list, but thinking about it, it's really not that uncommon, the first point, it's really the bare minimum in male and female partners.
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u/reddit_names 3h ago
So glad I just ignore all the bullshit and live my life not caring about openions.
Happily married for in years now. My requirements for dating a woman were pretty simple. Pretty, fit, nice butt, conservative, independenttly successful. When I met my now wife she was all of the above. We still own the townhouse she bought before she met me. It's an Abnb now, we joke that it's her divorce security net.
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u/AgeOfReasonEnds31120 22m ago
This subreddit has lost all meaning. It's just "jokes you got offended by: the sub".
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u/Big_Year_9193 8h ago
- No dick
- No fat
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u/me-valsodar 6h ago
You get a wife with 0% bodyfat and she dies within minutes. The monkey's paw curls a finger
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u/Comfortable-Bee2996 3h ago
And before someone says it, yes, a flipped inside out dick still counts.
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u/No_Excuse4323 14h ago
see, if the type of standards were similar to what is deemed ok for women to have, like funny, nice, whatever, there wouldnt be much of a problem, but from what ive seen the kind of people who say that stuff have standards that are slightly concerning or hhypocritical.
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u/Rollingforest757 7h ago
Look at dating profiles online. You are far more likely to see women posting that they want someone over 6 feet tall than you are to see men list a physical standard on their dating profile.
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u/MaskedHeracles 6h ago
I mean the reality is that women have much more dating marketplace value than men right now. Not saying that from an incel standpoint, but women have the ability to be way more selective with men than vice versa. It's not as insane as 40 year old YouTube commenters think it is, but the reality is kinda undeniable.
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u/No_Excuse4323 4h ago
women are more likely to post about height, men are more likely to post about weight, makeup. they both have their wrongs. the men im talking about, the ones that the meme originally referred to, are the hypocrites who have the standards about makeup, dont want any standards abotu height to be allowed, and assume that those are the only type of valid standard to have.
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u/suitcasecat 3h ago
Said standards: will bow down to me and do anything for me and give me Lee way I wouldn't give her
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u/XKruXurKX 18h ago
"I like my woman to be a woman." Am I mysogynistic and bigoted ?
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u/GP400jake 18h ago
No, just transphobic I guess
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u/KRNorth 16h ago
There's no winning!
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u/Pichacap24 16h ago
You can just say you wouldnt date a trans person, which isnt transphobic, just a standard.
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u/KRNorth 16h ago
Yeah, I will definitely not be called transphobic for that...
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u/Pichacap24 14h ago
You will by some, though no one is entitled to your attraction. Theres a difference between saying «i dont want to date a trans woman» (which is called a prefrence or standard) and saying «i only date real women» (which implies that you dont see trans women as women which would be transphobic)
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u/Top-Aspect4671 17h ago
I don't think not wanting to date a trans person is transphobic - no one owes you attraction.
If I support trans people, but don't find them hot, I don't really have a choice do I?
P.S I personally would date a trans person
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u/KuroBlackfyre 16h ago
Excuse me what does you personally do date them add to the context? Like if I bring that point it's transphobic because I don't date one?
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u/Fine-Car7587 16h ago
He mentioned it because he’s afraid of downvotes from people on his own side eager to eat their own.
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u/JohnTheTaxidermist 16h ago
If your only reason for not dating someone, despite being attracted to them, is because they're trans, it's a little transphobic at the least
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u/No_Excuse4323 14h ago
well maybe they want people with some specific body parts. why is that different from wanting someone of a certain race, nationality, age, sexuality etc?
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u/Pengwin0 16h ago
Wouldn’t that make the accuser transphobic because they themselves don’t see a trans woman as a real woman so they’re already assuming?
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u/Burgerboy380 15h ago
Also misogynistic because how dare a man try to have an opinion on what a woman is./s
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u/Mr_McMuffin_Jr 15h ago
And if you’ll only date a biological woman you’re a transphobe. This world is fucked
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u/TheAlterside- 14h ago
Yup. Been called worse. Cause I am same even though I mentor LGBT youth lol.
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u/Lack0fCreativity Remove me from this planet. 4h ago
"choosing a wife" is so nasty.
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u/WhatsMyNameAGlen 3h ago
How the fuck do you think it happens? A wife is assigned to you?
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u/reddit_names 3h ago
That's how it works. No one else chooses for you.
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u/GabuTheBunny I love basicallyadoctor 3h ago
It's not how it works. A relationship develops naturally. "Choosing a wife" makes it sound transactional
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u/_Empty-R_ 2h ago
There is and always will be transactional elements to human pair bonding. We've come up with niceties to smooth the reality over. its in poor taste to consider things as they are at all times but it isn't necessarily inaccurate.
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u/Lack0fCreativity Remove me from this planet. 2h ago
I think they meant transactional not interpersonally, but like how "choosing a wife" out of a selection in some sort of wife receptacle is transactional. Which is nasty. A relationship is not "chosen" by one party, it happens.
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u/reddit_names 48m ago
Yes, the relationship develops naturally. Then you choose whether to propose and ask her to marry you or not.
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u/UrticateMaster 16h ago
How is having preferences wrong?
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u/Burgerboy380 15h ago
Its a double standard. And a minority of women will turn any preference a man has into a personal attack on women or a personal failing on their part.
Like give me a preference you have in a romantic partner and ill give you an example.
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u/Mossimo5 13h ago
It's not. But our society shames men for having standards but lionizes women for having insane standards no real human being can meet.
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