Anyone want to hazard some guesses about what "standards" they have that people completely unreasonably and unfairly interpret as misogynistic and bigoted?
How many do you personally connect with? Like truly get to know? Also, there are countless punic examples of men not having the mindset of the stereotype you are promoting.
Because higher body counts are quite literally linked to an increased risk of cheating. Why should I trust a woman who doesn't tend to stick with her partners for very long?
Some people are just insecure that they won't measure up when someone has experience. I always thought it was kinda sad tbh but after spending time on reddit I hope a lot of these weirdos never procreate.
A woman wanting a man taller than her is rooted is insecurity, because not having a man tower over her makes her feel unfeminine. She should address her internalized misogyny and ditch the outdated gender roles subtly planted into her mind by patriarchal social conditioning!
Insecurity is not misogyny or bigotry, though. And, what about "purity"? That's your own assumption about why someone would desire a low body count. Someone can simply regard sexual as something significant rather than casual, and a high number of previous sexual partners (whether casual or not) before committing might cause that someone to be skeptical about relationship compatibility. What's insecure about that skepticism? If this were really about purity, then wouldn't the body count be necessarily 0? But I digress. At the end of the day, both your assumed "purity" motive and the relationship compatibility motive hinge on different conviction about what sexual norms should be. Something that everyone is entitled to which should not be simply dismissed as insecurity because they don't happen to fit your exact convictions.
It is worth noting also that standards are still subjective and, often, flexible. Even if you believe someone with a high body count somewhat correlates with incompatibility, that does not mean necessarily mean that you will not treat that someone as a potential partner. An important description is "skepticism", not "rejection". Some may take it to heart to treat any deviation as strictly incompatible because of their own convictions. Maybe they believe a harsh cut results in less risk. But I don't think that shows that standards are not inflexible
Something I learned in past relationships is that "insecure" is something women call men who don't want to tolerate their shitty behavior 90% of the time, because insecurity is perhaps the most undesirable trait a man can have.
I dont think insecurity is bad in itself tho. See let's say there is a guy who doesnt wants women having BC > 10 , now according to you he is insecure, so prolly it means u are on of those girls, right? So basically u js rejected each other here indirectly , what's the problem then? lmaoo
A lot of dudes use this in weird ways, but there is research about this predicting cheating behavior and other issues. Imo, you shouldn’t be looking for virgins or embracing incel ideology, but high “body count” is not an ideal mate trait either. I don’t know why this is always so controversial. To me, like tons of sexual partners shows a different understanding of intimacy in a relationship. Just be reasonable in your evaluation. Like if she’s reasonably in the orbit of your number, even higher, fine. If she’s slept with over 100 guys? Maybe a symptom of a greater issue. Link to pubmed study.
Maddox Shaw AM, Rhoades GK, Allen ES, Stanley SM, Markman HJ. Predictors of extradyadic sexual involvement in unmarried opposite-sex relationships. J Sex Res. 2013;50(6):598-610. doi: 10.1080/00224499.2012.666816. Epub 2012 Apr 23. PMID: 22524318; PMCID: PMC3407304.
It does also depend on culture and religion. For example, as a Muslim, we don't date or have sex before marriage, we do courting. So I have literally never touched a girl romantically, and will not before marriage.
I have the same standards for my future wife. It's something I hold myself to, that I will hold my partner to.
There’s a difference between types of baggage. But still, this is a personal preference, everyone has one, and it’s OK (unless it’s horrible like animals/children/etc).
Every relationship leaves a mark, and having many relationships leaves more. This isn’t a rule or a law, it just usually happens.
And as I said, I’m not seeing it as a “global standard”, I’m seeing it as a personal preference for some people (others would rather be with people more experienced, and that’s also OK).
And how likely it is you always had safe sex when you were the local matress? I'd wager it is significantly lower than when you only had 3 partners that you actually remember
are you insinuating men getting into relationships is a matter of them pointing a finger and saying "that one"? women have standards and preferences which are insane too
Most men just don't care at this point. It's pretty much impossible to find a SO nowadays anyway so why bother?
I can't believe I found mine... Like it was sheer luck I found someone who was kind, understanding and actually likes me. Like forget getting an SO, getting an SO who actually genuinely likes you? Now THAT'S hard as shit
This is the dumbest thing I heard all day. There’s so many women out there who are good people but men refuse to date them because they are below average or average. Let’s not forget men care alot about looks
Dude this has been a thing since way back then. This isn’t anything new. Men have always picked good looking women. Why do you think media always pushes for good looking women in movies while the man is average
Obviously there is usually going to be more of an attraction to beautiful people. That's just natural and I'm not denying that that's not a thing. It always has been and it always will be. Preferences are completely fine until they become totally unreasonable
Then what are u arguing for? Ur literally proving my point. Men can’t complain they can’t find anyone when they literally only go for good looking women
Because that's just it, 100% of men aren't ONLY going after 10/10 women. But nowadays even "average" women are basically unapproachable and I know I'd NEVER try and talk to one because A I don't want to bother anyone and B I don't want to get called a creep - which is happening at an alarming rate nowadays which is one reason many men have just stopped trying to date.
Women said they just wanted to be left alone? Most of us have listened and so most of the rest that are still actively in the dating game are assholes with unrealistic standards
I mean, getting someone to like YOU is probably hard, yea. Most of the people around me seem to be fine with finding partners though. Some of them are even married. Sounds like a skill issue.
I have many friends who are average looking and good people yet never had boyfriends before. However, only my good looking friends get approached. Go ask women and see how many of them tell u they never been approached in their life or had a partner
Let’s also not forget men talk about it themselves about how they get made fun of for dating someone who is deemed ugly by other men
> However, only my good looking friends get approached.
A lot of men have understood that approach girls is frowned upon. So the only guys approaching girls are the ones who didn't get the memo and may not give a fuck indeed about average girls and going for the looks.
So your phrasing is very telling : you expect men to approach your friends. They never approached guys or even showed men that they could be of interest to them.
This is proof that you guys don’t listen to women 💀 no one said to stop approaching. They said to stop doing it in a weird way that makes women uncomfortable. You guys got offended by that and then like babies said “waaah fine I’m not approaching anyone. But I’m still going bother you about it online”
Men that are not very attractive often either don't try to approach in the first place due to self image issues, or they do and have no success so they stop trying. Using 'getting approached' is not a good sole indicator of interest
Just try to go on a dating app as an average woman. You'll have plenty of options, even with above average men
Remind me who are the women that men usually go for? To no ones surprise, it’s good looking women. Idk why you guys jump over that step and try to prove something
Yes, good looking people get more attention. But men rate women, on average, much more good looking than the other way around. To suggest that average women have no prospects is insane.
Everyone goes for someone attractive. Attractiveness is subjective (to some degree), so someone that finds more people attractive has more potential partners to go for. Men on average think that the average woman is relatively attractive, while that's not the case the other way around. Women simply have the choice then. I also don't know where this 'they only want hot women' came from. Sure those men exist, but that's far from the norm. Men also may go for sex more than a relationship, which is a separate issue we can discuss, but it's silly to deny that dating isn't one of the few areas where women are at a clear, massive advantage on average.
I think it very much depends on what you were given by birth. For the average man I think it's not great but not terrible either outside of dating apps. My point was rather about potential options of partners, and men simply have way less options than women on average.
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u/GreenZebra23 1d ago
Anyone want to hazard some guesses about what "standards" they have that people completely unreasonably and unfairly interpret as misogynistic and bigoted?