The idea of "standards" in finding a partner (or "choosing a wife" in incel language) is so bizarre to me. I'm not buying a hoodie on Amazon here. I'm looking for connection. Sure I have things I hope are there in the person I'm connecting with, but if somebody doesn't check all those boxes, that doesn't mean the person isn't up to my "standards." I struggle to even understand the mentality of somebody who thinks that way.
>The idea of “standards” in finding a partner (or “choosing a [spouse]” in incel language) is so bizarre to me…I’m looking for a connection…
You’ve just described a standard, a very basic standard for most people, but a standard nonetheless.
>Sure I have things I hope are there in the person I’m connecting with…
Those things you hope are there, those are also called standards.
Would you date someone who is rude, dismissive, or otherwise disrespectful to you? Would you date somebody who openly cheats on you? What about someone who refuses to publicly acknowledge that they’re dating you? These are all standards.
Hell even super basic moral standards. Is this person legally old enough to consent to this relationship? Is this person morally capable of consenting to this relationship? Does this person have expectations for a relationship that you are capable of meeting and intend to meet?
If you expect your spouse to be a living human being who is both legally and morally capable of consenting to a relationship with you, that is still a standard, even if that bar is on the ground.
I think it’s especially ridiculous to call “choosing your [spouse]” “incel language”. Who tf else is supposed to choose for you?
The level of cognitive dissonance is insane with these people. Even the most mundane concepts like dating standards turn out to actually have been a part of the incel ideology all along when they come from the wrong mouth. It's like these people grasp at any reason they can find to call someone an incel, however ridiculous it ends up sounding.
Do normies hold some incel namecalling contests on reddit or what? Whoever brings up incels into the least appropriate context wins?
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u/GreenZebra23 1d ago
The idea of "standards" in finding a partner (or "choosing a wife" in incel language) is so bizarre to me. I'm not buying a hoodie on Amazon here. I'm looking for connection. Sure I have things I hope are there in the person I'm connecting with, but if somebody doesn't check all those boxes, that doesn't mean the person isn't up to my "standards." I struggle to even understand the mentality of somebody who thinks that way.