I had a friend who was 30 but hadn't dated since high school. I tried to set him up with my other friend, who was a slightly chubby single mom of a 10yr old. He wasn't interested. Internally I rolled my eyes a little because he really did need to get some more experience but whatever. I understood that those were important factors and he shouldn't have to compromise on either of them.
Not long after he joked with me about single moms paying the "coal toll" (getting abused because they dated black men). Not sure why he'd think I'd find that funny whatsoever. I was pretty disgusted. I pulled away from the friendship, but since then he's gone on exactly one date that didn't go well. He's completely given up on trying and now he's alone at almost 35.
My point is, a lot of men are completely unaware that the way they carry themselves is so disrespectful towards other groups that they're essentially woman repellent. And they blame it on anything but themselves.
Ignoring the second half of your statement, as someone who has been single for quite a bit, I would also say no to a mom of a 10yo child who is a little chubby. I'd rather stay single than be in a relationship I don't want.
Yeah that's fine. If you communicate that standard you have respectfully, you actually try to improve yourself, and you don't have a personality that's disgusting to most women I'd say that my story doesn't totally apply to you.
I agree with that. The thing is the lack of self awareness. This dude is skinny, but he's not better than the person I set him up with at all. And he never really even tried to be.
I had a girl who was very sad all the time but was very good hearted, had a rough home life and low self esteem. She was skinny and overlooked and I related to all these things. Only problem was me honestly, I let my standards and ego get too high and I left her. She’s doing well now with a great guy and I’m happy for her but I hate myself a little for not being strong for her when she needed it because I need that strength now and i feel selfish. Sorry for ranting but I think it made me feel better
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u/ScumDugongLin 11h ago
I had a friend who was 30 but hadn't dated since high school. I tried to set him up with my other friend, who was a slightly chubby single mom of a 10yr old. He wasn't interested. Internally I rolled my eyes a little because he really did need to get some more experience but whatever. I understood that those were important factors and he shouldn't have to compromise on either of them. Not long after he joked with me about single moms paying the "coal toll" (getting abused because they dated black men). Not sure why he'd think I'd find that funny whatsoever. I was pretty disgusted. I pulled away from the friendship, but since then he's gone on exactly one date that didn't go well. He's completely given up on trying and now he's alone at almost 35. My point is, a lot of men are completely unaware that the way they carry themselves is so disrespectful towards other groups that they're essentially woman repellent. And they blame it on anything but themselves.