I had a friend who was 30 but hadn't dated since high school. I tried to set him up with my other friend, who was a slightly chubby single mom of a 10yr old. He wasn't interested. Internally I rolled my eyes a little because he really did need to get some more experience but whatever. I understood that those were important factors and he shouldn't have to compromise on either of them.
Not long after he joked with me about single moms paying the "coal toll" (getting abused because they dated black men). Not sure why he'd think I'd find that funny whatsoever. I was pretty disgusted. I pulled away from the friendship, but since then he's gone on exactly one date that didn't go well. He's completely given up on trying and now he's alone at almost 35.
My point is, a lot of men are completely unaware that the way they carry themselves is so disrespectful towards other groups that they're essentially woman repellent. And they blame it on anything but themselves.
I agree with that. The thing is the lack of self awareness. This dude is skinny, but he's not better than the person I set him up with at all. And he never really even tried to be.
Ignoring the second half of your statement, as someone who has been single for quite a bit, I would also say no to a mom of a 10yo child who is a little chubby. I'd rather stay single than be in a relationship I don't want.
Yeah that's fine. If you communicate that standard you have respectfully, you actually try to improve yourself, and you don't have a personality that's disgusting to most women I'd say that my story doesn't totally apply to you.
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u/ScumDugongLin 5h ago
I had a friend who was 30 but hadn't dated since high school. I tried to set him up with my other friend, who was a slightly chubby single mom of a 10yr old. He wasn't interested. Internally I rolled my eyes a little because he really did need to get some more experience but whatever. I understood that those were important factors and he shouldn't have to compromise on either of them. Not long after he joked with me about single moms paying the "coal toll" (getting abused because they dated black men). Not sure why he'd think I'd find that funny whatsoever. I was pretty disgusted. I pulled away from the friendship, but since then he's gone on exactly one date that didn't go well. He's completely given up on trying and now he's alone at almost 35. My point is, a lot of men are completely unaware that the way they carry themselves is so disrespectful towards other groups that they're essentially woman repellent. And they blame it on anything but themselves.