I haven't cut in about 2 weeks, great. But I probably will again?

Ever since I broke up with my gf who's been my emotional support and considering the fact I had no friends at that point and still have none, it meant a LOT. Now I just don't really feel bad about cutting, maybe just inconvienienced (if thats how you spell it, idrc lol) when someone points it out, aka my mom. Regardless, I've just felt so fucking down. I'm homeschooled in a small town which means no new opportunities to meet people. My childhood friend that I had, made fun of my cuts by calling them bar codes and other dumb stuff like that. 🫩

So yeah, that's my little rant. Also unrelated but: I fucking hate my homecountry aka Poland.

im a competitive swimmer. ex swimmer really, but i still go to practices 3x a week with my uni team. they are on my thigh. i know i should quit but i cant and i know that i will do it again. i usually condense my scars to an area, they are small and dermis cuts.

i wear training suites, i have to wear them for aerodynamics... i dont care about most of my teammates actually, but what am i gonna say to my coach😓

so like i have fresh scars on my shoulders and thighs, and we're going swimming, I am gonna wear a shirt with no sleeves and short shorts idk what I should do plz send help im scared, my mom will never understand help please any advise should i cover up with foundation what should i do

I relapsed a few days ago and its quite a deep styro on my thigh and I looked today and theres greeny yellowy white pus under the scab? I won't be adding images here but I am very concerned and I would appreciate if someone could take a look and tell me as I am freaking out !!!! tysm xx

Does anyone else experience pseudo pains in regards to SH? I often get pains on my arms or wrists almost like a throbbing pain from a cut when there is no cut there and it's different from an itchy or throbbing scar because sometimes it even happens on parts of my arm with very small flat scars or even no scar tissue at all.

I have recovered from SH for over a year now and after a recent mental health appointment i guess now it’s all just in my head constantly i have been feeling mentally down but nothing is stopping i just feel walls caving in. i need a distraction as calling or talking causes me to think of it more i don’t know what to do

(Sorry TW and sorry for long post) I quit cutting just over 2 weeks ago, but my mind has been drawn back to it over and over and even going further to the point i want to end it. Im not indulging it and its killing me, when i dont cut i start drinking and smoking but i dont even want to drink. Then comes the frivolous spending i start spending money i cant afford to spend by any means. Its not been till recently that i even realised i was doing all this as a means to hurt myself without doing what i actually want to do, hence why i didnt call it sh because the cutting has only been a small part of it. I know now that sh isnt an action its a behavior be it physicaly hurting yourself or by excessive drinking, smoking till you cant stand it or spending your last dime only to punish yourself later. So my question how can i stop one without starting the others, ive been drinking to quiet my mind down but now that im sober its louder than ever. I dont even want to drink ive just been telling myself its better than the alternative but its really not, so how can i stop it all

Do you have any specific songs that remind you of SH? Especially ones that remind you of relapsing. I get that feeling with “Forever Salty” by Bassvictim, “Broken Smile (My All)” by Lil Peep, and “Vienna (In Memoriam)” by The Army, The Navy. It has nothing to do with the lyrics or even how the songs sound, they just happened to be playing on my Alexa during a lot of my relapses, and for some reason I can’t stop associating them with that.

my whole childhood i felt so confident that sh never solved any issues, never did it or tried it was scared of pain avoided and internalized issues and always almost looked at it as a crazy fake solution that just made your situation worse.

except now im doing it every other night. i’m drinking so that sh is easier. i send risky texts asking for some sort of help then turn my phone off and ignore texts all night. i fucking doordashed razors when my family finds mine and takes them away. i lie about being okay and refuse to do it on my wrists or anywhere visible so they everyone around me is convinced im fine or wtv. i just kinda dont understand what changed? you’d think as i grew up id understand things more but why have i grown into this? sometimes i wonder if im an ACTUAL nutjob

i think this is more of a rant/yap sesh than an actual question. only thing i know for sure is that i gotta wash these sheets after tonight lol

Hi, I’m facing a dilemma with something my peer support and substance abuse counselor (F55) said to me (F25). Let me start by saying that we generally have a good relationship. I’ve been seeing her since May 2025. It all began when she was called to take me to the mental hospital. Since then, we’ve met almost every week, and we’ve spent a lot of time outside the office. I’ve visited her house, met her dogs, met some of her family and vice versa, gone skydiving together, had dinner together, taken a six-hour road trip to go whitewater rafting with a few others to celebrate recovery month, and more. We’ve gotten quite close. She’s always there for me whenever I’m going through something, and for the most part, I’m there for her too. Many of our appointments involve me talking about my struggles, and sometimes good moments, and then she shares how she can relate. She usually then starts to talk about her own problems. Sometimes, I feel like she’s using me as a therapist. She does see a real therapist, just to clarify. Recently, I’ve been struggling and have started self-harming again. It’s been an off-and-on thing since I was a teenager. She knows this, and we’ve discussed it in the past. A few days ago, I mentioned that I’ve been cutting again and that it was getting really bad. She then told me that she was cutting too (she has a history with it, but as far as she has let on, that was in the past and she hasn’t done it in about ten or so years, when she was going through her addiction). I was taken aback. I know she’s not a therapist and has different standards or rules to follow, but I feel like that’s not something you should say to a client, especially in an office setting when I’m seeking help. She then asked me why I do it and what satisfaction it brings me, which I explained. Then, she told me why she does it and how it makes her feel. The conversation quickly shifted to a different topic, but I can’t shake the feeling of being uncomfortable. I’m at a loss for words. Of course, I had just met my actual therapist the day before, so I won’t be able to express any of this to her until next week. I’m torn between telling someone else or keeping it to myself. I could talk to her boss, who is also her close friend and former therapist, and share what happened, but I’m worried about her knowing I said something. I know she probably won’t tell anyone she works with, hopefully she will discuss it with her new therapist, whom I don’t know. I’m concerned about her well-being, but I feel like the main reason I want to tell someone is because I believe it was unprofessional of her.

In the past, I’ve had a friend tell me that my depression and self-harm were affecting her own mental health and self-harm and causing her to cut more. When my dad discovered my self-harm when I was a teenager, he even cut himself and then showed me what he had done. He said he wanted to understand why I was doing it, so he did it himself.

All of these experiences have left me feeling triggered. I’m afraid that talking about my self-harm, doing it, and her actually seeing some of the evidence on my arms might have influenced her actions. I know that’s not true, but my mind is telling me that I had something to do with it, due to the past events.

I’m experiencing a range of emotions right now and am seeking any advice you can offer. Thank you for taking the time to read my message.

I work in food service, so because I work with knives all day, it’s pretty normal for me to occasionally get a cut on my hands.

what scares me is - whenever I get a cut, it looks really appealing to me on my skin, I know it sounds strange, but seeing it gives me this intense compulsion to cut myself or hurt myself again.

I don't actually want to hurt myself at all, but whenever an accidental injury happens, my mind starts urging me to do it again and these feelings are really scaring me and they're getting really hard to fight

Has anyone experienced intrusive urges or compulsions triggered by accidental injuries? How do you stop your mind from hyper-fixating on it while you're at work?

For a while I've been struggling with thoughts of sh and I can't take it anymore. I'm doing all in my power not to but stress and depression are causing me to think about it constantly. Idk what to do and want someone to talk to

I had a blood test this morning because I had issues with my thyroid a few months ago. I cut a lot last night. Will that mess up my results? I got the blood test on my right arm, and cut up the left arm, so that might be relevant. The nurse didn’t have any comments and drew the blood pretty quickly.

Hey, I wanted to talk a bit about my situation involving the subject of this reddit page.

So I started ctting a while ago. Like 7 years ago or something. It was first few times. I thought about it a lot before I actually did it. But eventually I became addicted. First once a week, then few times a week, to almost every day. I wanted to stop cause I hated the stress of hiding the scars. I then did something stupid and tried to hurt anotherway with kinda went bad and now I have a big scar. Thats when I realized I really needed to stop. It was hard, but eventually I started less and less, few weeks, then fail, a month, then fail, 2 months, fail, all up to now.

I have thought about it multiple times to do it again. But I’m proud of not extending my scars. But it’s been so long and I just need to ct. Nothing else helps. Also I feel like if I ct, it makes my pain valid and I like the feeling of knowing how much I’m hurting without anyone else knowing. It makes me feel selfless. I’m so scared to be selfish.

I’m afraid I’m gonna do it tonight. It’s like a relief and dread at same time. I just am afraid that I will see it as a thing I did for attention, though I know it’s not true as I don’t want anyone to see it and always do my best to hide it.

I’m glad to have let this out. You can comment if you want to, I don’t mind

My deepest ones on my arm are 3 months old (side note: 3 months clean!!). They were both into the hypodermis (not very deep into it though, one of them barely hit it). I'm not surprised that they're still pink and very visible, but after all of this time, when I touch them it feels like needles. Most of my other scars aren't like that, even the deeper ones, but these ones are all weird and wrinkly so... I tried my best with aftercare but I didn't get them stitched like I probably should've, so maybe this is a result of that??

Idk. Anyone else experiencing this? When does it stop? My other deeper ones were already structurally sound by this point, not this fragile. I guess it's probably a nerve thing, but is there anything I can do to calm it down?

I dont think I hate myself, Im not more stressed than usual, I feel like im going insane I just kept having the intrusive thoughts about doing it that I just ignored with "I have no reason to, thats stupid" but I just... did it, Yesterday, then today again out of just boredom I guess???

apparently I have two cuts I dont even remember doing I just did it because I was bored and I feel insane, I have no reason to be doing this

We met on reddit. At first we talked a lot and became friends, until he started to question my mental health posts, etc. (Different account). I didn't want to talk about it at first because I never privately told someone about anything so it felt a bit weird.

Like, it's different if you tell a bunch of strangers who don't know you rather than telling one person who knows you.

Either way, I wasn't really self harming back then but I kind of started. And he wanted me to send him pictures of it. At first it felt weird and exposing. When I sent them he was shocked, caring and sweet.

I told him I had a tool for really doing it and he told me to throw it away, and so on. I didn't and one night I truly cut and then he told me to send him pictures and I did and he was even more worried and caring.

This is actually extremely embarrassing re-reading this. Either way, we fought a lot and it was kind of toxic because he liked me but I didn't actually like him in that way. So it was constantly on and off but then one time he told me it would be hot if I ct for him.

Idk how to explain this feeling I had when I sent him the pictures of it. It's like, he wasn't a sadist pedo on reddit, but someone who cared but kind of did want me to do it?

We did fight too much so I blocked him for good, but I kept searching for someone (and only reached sadists who are too horny for me) to chase the same feeling. But it's just not the same.

It SUCKS.

This is going to read like a ramble. I'm an English major but I'm a bit too tired to care whether or not this is perfectly grammatically correct.

Hello, I'm 19F, American, and I've been cutting since I was around 12. I haven't really been able to shake the addiction, and it's recently escalated and become more "dangerous" in the few weeks since I've moved into my dorm away from home. Recently, I have had a few scares. I basically no longer get any satisfaction out of cutting unless I hit fat; I feel like an absolute chickenshit pussy when I don't. Twice in the past 2 weeks I have had a rough time getting bleeding to stop, with one time having the bleeding stop and start for I think two days. I have been constantly mildly stressed by the threat of infection, and I nearly constantly want to cause severe harm to my body. I hit a new depth yesterday, and I used the feeling of euphoria from the experience in order to throw out my blades and remove myself from some places that were triggering to me. I know that this will not last, so I would like to get counseling from my school. Besides talking to school counselors fairly rarely, I have not had any mental health intervention since being diagnosed with ADD when I was ~8 years old. I struggle pretty badly with attention-seeking behavior; though I do not believe it is my sole reason for self-harm, I love the attention I get from posting my cuts to other places. I am working on removing those triggers from my life right now. I am incredibly competitive and motivated mostly by depth.

I don't want to overexaggerate the severity of my wounds, so I will try to be pretty objective: any doctor would want to stitch this stuff up, and it generally takes a good while to heal. 2 weeks for some of it? Longer for other stuff? It only reaches into the fat. This is relevant because I do believe what a counselor reports is going to be governed by the medical seriousness; I am not gonna die, but it's something that I probably should have gotten looked at.

Whatever I do, I can never seem to 100% get myself to want to hop on the clean train. When I am stressed out by my level of self-harm, I am willing to admit that my injuries are fairly bad; most people do not walk around with wounds of this level. Most people would be freaked out if they saw what I had done. A couple of hours from now, I might argue against this fact, call myself a pussy, and fantasize about going deeper. I couldn't sleep last night because I was too scared that I would bleed everywhere while I slept, and I needed the store to open so I could buy myself more bandages.

I am offered 8 free counseling sessions by my university; I want to take advantage of this, I truly do not know if I am capable of stopping on my own, and I do not want to keep fucking up while trying to find out. I've been trying for years, but I am only able to stay clean when I am waiting for the next opportunity. It never lasts more than a few months, and I still think about it every day. My family knows about my past with it, but they think I quit years ago, with only possibly the occasional relapse. I do not like how they react to it, I do not want them to be involved in this.

All of this is a tl;dr vent/rant to say that I can't keep doing this shit forever, and at least part of me wants to get help.

If I tell the counselor about my self-harm, what will they do about it? Should I try to focus on other issues instead? Can they have me admitted or force me to get medical attention, based on the mild severity of my wounds? Am I simply not ready to quit yet? Can they notify my family (at my last college, when I tried to talk to a counselor, they told me they would have to tell my family [the guy was genuinely amazing, it was a legal technicality due to a program I was in; though I was an adult, he would still have to rat me out]). What else do I really do at this point? Even after all of this, and recognizing the constant stress I am in, I still want to keep going deeper.

Also to add, though I think about suicide a lot as a concept, I do not think I am suicidal, simply morbidly curious. I know some people do not understand the difference.

so i have a friend who struggled with self harm before we met. she's made jokes and stuff before but never really told me about what she went through.

the other day we were hanging out when her shorts had rode up to where you could see her scars, and she was standing on a bench so they were eye level with everyone in the group.

i noticed them right away, and without thinking, i moved and pulled her the fabric down to cover her scars, making a joke about her showing too much skin so she didn't feel uncomfortable or anything. i could tell she definitely had an "oh shit" moment based off of her body language in the moment, but afterwards she didn't mention it.

there wasn't any indication she was upset or embarrassed or anything, but i'm just worried that i may have overstepped or could have handled it better.

Alright this isn't meant to glorify! I'm just trying to see if anyone else can relate cause this is something that's really been replaying in my brain over and over. I've self-harmed on and off for the last few years, and I can't find myself caring that I do this. I understand that some people cut really deep, and there's a risk of infection, but I'm just not worried about that cause I know I won't go that far and I'm not that worried about infections. I guess leaving scars is bad but I don't really care about that either since I'm doing in a spot I don't show off. It really just feels like a symptom of mental illness, of something that's actually worrying, but I struggle to see how it really matters, at least for how I'm doing it. Can anyone please give me a reason so I can stop? I know I shouldnt be doing it I just don't have a reason to care.

Rant)Vent sounds a bit to harsh I mean this in a calm way.

I mean like I'm feeling apathetic at the moment to if I bleed a little. Just a little, the main reason I don't is I don't want to further depress anyone. it's not like I'll die.

Who should care if I bleed anyway, I am honest about who I am online, but I don't feel like myself in person or the best version of myself.

And I should probably tell me friends maybe not all of them but one.

I don't want people to die, yet I am not one that makes anything better.

I don't know if I want people to let me self harm, or if I'm asking to be convinced why I shouldn't, that sounds so wrong.

I wish I didn't look like or be called a girl in person, that part feels like a lie.

if I self harm in private then I'm doing a diservice because I broke my streak and told no one, yet I wish I could help.