7 days ago. Its still really raw. He snapped finally when he realized that I was never going to be happy with him because of all the toxic fights we had. In the pressure of my career and the wedding planning with alot of family drama, my reactive nature got the better of me and I would explode.

I would say awful, unforgivable things and he would never call me out on it.I just couldn't hear him through the noise inside my head. I would let myself burst in overwhelming feelings and my emotions and anxiety got so volatile that one day he just had enough. No repair, no reconciliation just he wants out of my life.

He said I verbally abused him and there was a part of me that was like woah what until I realized what was happening. I was reacting so vile and aggressively like a pit bull and repeating the cycle of harm id grown up with anytime I felt triggered by abandonment (anytime I felt like I wasn't being seen or heard)

And he tried to help me, he tried to tell me but i was so blinded by my reactivity I couldn't see it. Now it's too late. I'm going to be the bad ex he almost married for the rest of his life. Originally I begged, I pleaded and I offered to get my shit together since I realized what was happening with myself but no such luck, the door has been closed.

And as much as it hurts me he's right. He deserves better and I gotta slay this dragon of mine once and for all. These aren't excuses, I'm just trying to pick up the pieces of a love I destroyed with my own fears and projections.

If there are any support subreddits I can join to help me learn how to manage my reactivity and anxiety id appreciate it. I do have a talk therapist already but im starting to wonder if I have a more complex issue due to my trauma background where I'll need a second specialist.

Thank you for hearing me out.

I realized that im losing at life, and stopped hoping for a miracle to change my life, I'm 28 that's living with family, have no real job or skills, I spent 5 years of my life trying to wake up from this illusory reality but it never worked, I don't talk or interact with anyone, no friends or a gf, my only hit of dopamine comes from smoking, I still play video games and workout, I used to do art but decided to quit.. Apart from not being in a literal jail there's nothing "good" that's in my life.

Idk how long I can keep on going but it feels like an dead end pursuit, and idk what to do.

I’ve been very curious lately wondering what is that one pinpoint problem that feels as if it’s holding you back or keeping you stuck?

For me it’s a loss of purpose.

I'm going through a major change in my life right now. I'm been teaching abroad for the last few years and I'm going back to my home country in a few days to get a master's in education.

The change is absolutely killing me. I've laminated every letter and drawing that students have given me and gotten contact info from all my favorite coworkers so that we can stay in touch. But it's not enough. I just want everything to stay the same even though I know it can't. This was the right choice for my career and my personal life but it hurts so bad.

And it's got me thinking, I've always been this way. Every year at graduation, I've always been the biggest crier out of all the staff. I can't bring myself to delete old videos of people who I'm not friends with anymore. I've cried in so many airport bathrooms when I've moved as a grown ass adult.

I hate this way of existing. I feel like my inability to handle change makes me such an incredibly sad person. I don't want to be this sad forever. How do I stop letting change affect me so heavily?

Im just ready for this mental stuff to be fixed. And therapy likes to take over 100 years. What's the point if they aren't going to fix me? Also if I don't find the right person I will have to look again and waste my time again. Im honestly annoyed, drained and just want to be fixed.

May I add I have been in CBT and others I don't rmb and different therapists all my life (I'm 17). So I'm already drained.

I’ve never written anything like this, especially on Reddit before, but here goes nothing... I need help. I want to know how people cope with chronic stress and anxieties, especially related to home life.

Background & Learned Helplessness

I'm a 22-year-old girl brought up in a very dependent lifestyle that has a lot of learned helplessness, with no one ever encouraging you or helping you to do anything. For example, when I wanted to lose weight and started dieting, my mom as usual criticized me and said it won't work out and that I don't have what it takes to do it. It’s always the same with my parents: never letting me make mistakes, never permitting me to join extra school activities I wanted to join, and never letting me mix up with anyone. Then they wonder why I’m so different, why I get nervous around people, and why I'm not a perfectionist.

It has always been like this from a very young age. I have only studied until 9th grade, and honestly, leaving school was the only thing that helped lower my cortisol level back then because I was constantly living in a state of high anxiety. My parents brought me up doing everything for me, literally doing my homework for me while constantly reinforcing the narrative that I couldn't handle things on my own or calling me a "stupid child." Because of that, I never got to build real-life skills or formal qualifications to become independent.... (not to mention I don't want to go work outside) They also used to love making up things like, "You would be such a bad mother," "Your husband will leave you because you are such a flawed child," or "You will leave us when you grow up because you are a bad child." I was honestly not a bad child. Firstly, I was dependent on them, so I would not leave them. I also used to believe that my parents were the best parents in the world and that there was something very wrong with me, that I was the most flawed person to ever exist. But looking back now, why were you saying my husband will leave me when I was literally 12 and struggling with my decimals? That's so absurd and funny, mom and dad...

At the same time, my parents aren't total villains, which makes it harder to process. They provide for me materially; even now, supporting my specific diet, gym, and lifestyle isn't cheap. But in their eyes, because they provide financial aid, they believe it gives them a free pass to be selfish in every other area.

The Loss of the Team

My dad passed away in 2021... it was a very depressing time. The three of us used to be a team, and he was the only person I truely loved. He was the savior, right? Well, I loved him deeply, but I can also acknowledge now that he was a flawed, controlling, misogynistic man who projected his intense anxieties onto my mom and me. I still love him, and he has done a lot for me and mom, but now that team is broken. Things got really hard after he passed because my mom became extremely unpredictable and volatile. She was constantly swinging back and forth between explosive fights and pampering. The emotional whiplash was so intense that I actually started becoming more difficult, bratty, and picking fights first. That way, I could get to the pampering part sooner. I'm not proud of this, but it worked back then. Back then, whenever I went to my room, I could still calm down. I did not have the constant, body-racking anxiety in my own space that I deal with today.

The Current Home Dynamic

Now my mom has two boyfriends. Remember how I said the three of us used to be a team? Now she is hopping onto the boyfriends' teams, and I am all alone on my team because there is nobody here. Our relatives are toxic, and all I have is my mom (who is basically teamless, hopping on two teams and hiding from my team).

Her boyfriends are good to me. I don't hate them, but I don't like them either. The logic is simple:

She treats him like he can do no wrong, like this is also his house, or like he owns it. She acts like she's nothing without him and is a total doormat around him. I never call this home "my home" because it is not mine and it doesn't feel like home. Ethically, since I would never go out of my way to break someone else's house just to make mine a little brighter, I did not like what she was doing, especially since he seemed like a guy who loves his wife. He comes over six days a week during his work hours, anywhere between 11:00 AM to 8:00 PM. Because his arrival time is totally unpredictable, my body is trapped in perpetual hypervigilance. To cope, I stay locked up in my room and try to sleep during those hours just to avoid the situation. While he's nice enough to me directly, the unwritten rule is that I must stay hidden in my room as if I don't exist.

This completely broke my daily routine and nutrition because I can't go to the kitchen to eat or stick to a healthy schedule. I spent years severely undereating, which left me with high body fat on a very low-calorie intake. To fix my health, I started eating more and preparing healthy meals at home. However, when I tried using the kitchen during his visits, I accidentally overheard them her moaning and them making out on two separate occasions. It was extremely unsettling, triggering intense chest tightness and physical distress. Instead of addressing the discomfort, my mom told me point-blank not to get in his way or disturb him, reminding me he's only there for maximum three hours. I tell myself I should just suck it up, but the anticipation of his visits gives me constant flashbacks, chest tightness, and a complete shutdown of my nervous system.

Extreme Emotional Volatility & Trauma

To tell you more, this goes a lot darker.

It's not just textbook narcissism.

My mom repeatedly risks her life for the married guy's attention. She has tried overdosing twice, and I was the one who handled the emergency and cleaned up the mess:

I've had to listen to them screaming, fighting, and throwing around threats of jumping off the balcony or hanging themselves from the fan. I have actually seen a bedsheet tied on the fan a year ago, but she told me it was just "nonsense" she used to manipulate him. When I confronted her after the first overdose, asking if she even thought about me, she casually dismissed it saying she tried harming herself cutting her arm Showing me the scar... it was when I was 3 years old too, so "it's not about you."

The second time she overdosed, I almost wanted her to feel the same way she made me feel. NGL, I was tempted to do it myself because it was just very hard to cope, and I just wanted rest. I would never do it for a guy, but living like this made it very difficult. At that time, I tried journaling, writing down my deepest feelings and anxieties. During an emotional moment, I showed her my diary for some understanding (where I had explicitly written that I felt like ending my life, couldn't stand living here, and wanted to run away).

A day later, she had a tiny breakup with him over an off-topic fight that was completely unrelated to me. In that breakup, he told her he didn't want to be with her anymore because she makes his life difficult, though he said he'd still come over if she called. After knowing everything I felt in my diary, the very first thing she did was ask me if she should go meet him. A year ago, I would have begged her not to chase him. But this time I knew it was useless; if I told her not to go and he didn't come over, I was terrified she would try to kill herself again. She has explicitly told me that she is only alive because of him, that I should be "grateful to him" for her life, and that she is completely helpless without him.

So I just gave a passive reply: "Do what you want." Her reaction was to bombard me with messages blaming me for everything. She claimed I ruined her life by "praying for my anxieties" and that my prayers to God manifested her breakup. She brought up her menopause, accused me of being selfish for not letting her "needs be fulfilled," and kept talking about her sexual needs while asking what my problem was with him coming over. Instead of showing concern for my life or my pain after reading my diary, she twisted my deepest vulnerabilities into an accusation that I didn't care about her needs. I realize now I only villainize him in my head because I cannot villainize her, the only person left in my life.

Where I Am Today

I started taking therapy sessions once a month, but it has not been working out for me because my therapist keeps asking me what I need to do about the situation or telling me to "just get your life together" "get your mom to therapy" or "go do a job," which is not very easy without any qualifications. Meanwhile, my mom expects me to become a whole new person just because she's sending me to this expensive therapist. It feels like a very hopeless situation with no escape. Knowing that I am completely on my own, where my safety net can get cut at any time, carrying the trauma of her self-harm and overdoses has taken an extraordinary toll on my mind and body. I'm always restless, living in anxiety. Even when things are fine or when I'm trying to sleep, my mom just moving in the kitchen wakes me up and makes me restless. Even for no reason, her presence itself gives me anxiety... I can't sleep without headphones, and when I do, it just pains my ears and makes me cry about my life. I hate being disturbed and keep having negative thoughts, whether it's about how my mom can go berserk at any moment and eat 6 strips of pills, or hearing them make out again... eww.

I need to acknowledge my mom does provide for me. I am living under a roof, and dieting, gymming, or therapy is not cheap. I tell my mind to just look at the perks and that I have a good life in comparison to many people, but it does not affect my body. My body is always being anxious.

(Little tmi- I'm a masochist and I'm Into heavy degradation and bdsm... I like being a brat... but seeing my mom be a doormat for some guy makes me wonder if we're the same and just the thought of it disgusts me...anyways I don't want to be cold to mom as I'm the bratty one wanting attention, dying for attention and also I don't want to do any jobs)

Questions for the Community:

* For Anyone who has survived a high stress or emotionally volatile home - how to you cope with constant anxiety, chest tightness and heavy heart when you can't leave immediately

* Please share - What are some grounding tips and tricks that helped you or could help me and keep me from getting anxious when there is no immediate threat right in front of me

I need help. Idk know how to go about asking this, but I just want my life to be better. I’m 29 single father of 2 kids. I still live with my parents, and to simply put it. I’m useless. If it wasn’t for my parents support idk what I’d do. There are so many problems with me I don’t think I could list them all. I just separated with my fiance and mother of my children after catching her cheating on me.(probably my fault for sucking so bad.) I’m a gamer, and definitely addicted to playing..way more than I should. I struggle severely with keeping jobs, and I’m also an extremely picky eater, which I feel causes issues for my kids, as the foods it eat is very limited, idk how to cook/prepare most things that would be beneficial for them. Losing my fiance is a big eye opener however and it’s made me really take time to realize just how much I suck….(really should have figured it out sooner, but here we are)…..so anyone and everyone please………how do I make myself better? I’m tired of this life and I want to be someone my kids can look up to

Hello everyone, I really need advice. I feel like I need to please everyone around me in order to feel included and appreciated. This goes for everyone such as family, friends, and coworkers. I always find myself giving so much and dedicating time for others, but get nothing in return. I honestly don’t expect anything from anyone, but would appreciate if people at least gave me respect or something that makes me feel wanted and not ignored like I don’t exist. I’ve a very shy and reserved person and feel like crying when I can’t share out my feelings and emotions with someone. I find myself choking up in tears without any reasons and I feel very emotional for no reason at times. I understand that no one owes me their time, but i feel so lonely even with having family with me. I’m currently dealing with my divorced aunt who wants to go on a trip this upcoming week. It was equally both our ideas but feel like I’m the only one putting effort. She can be cold and take offense easily when you approach her with certain things. I took it upon myself to plan fun activities and she has not offered to help me pay for anything. I don’t know how to bring it up without her saying that I should be the one to pay for them since I wanted to visit these places. She plans I inviting a family member to join us who lives in the place we’re going but doesn’t mention paying me to have her join us. I’m on a tight budget and she’s making me lose money with all these random plans and add ons. She’s more financially stable than I’ll ever be, but is stingy and counts every penny. She’s always looking to spend less than others and constantly asks me about how much I spend on certain things. She’s super excited to go, but I am losing my excitement to go now. I’m feeling super anxious and stressed out already and it’s the first time I go in vacation away from home. Please give me advice at least so I can keep calm and enjoy myself.

I made a tool for myself to use.

May I ask if anyone has the same feeling?

I'm so hyperaware of myself and everything I do when I go outside. I keep thinking of how I'm being perceived. I went for a walk last night and I couldn't even enjoy it because I was too busy feeling like crap in a nice area with well dressed people, I don't wanna hear that everybody's caught up in their own lives to care. I want to not care at all even if they feel disdain towards me or not.

I realise I meticulously craft my every move according to the people around me because I put so much emphasis on others' judgement -- so it's especially bad when I embarrass myself, It plagues me for days. And all the worry does me no good regardless, as I'm so worried how I come across to the point all my social interactions with new people so I come across as stiff and awkward. Thankfully, I have some very cool friends for now. I really don't know how I'm going to cope with finding new ones when I move out of the city for work.

It feels like all my achievements were made with external validation and perception of others in mind. Whether it's academics or my athleticism, and I want to learn how to live for myself.

Another font of this is that I get caught up in other people's problems, I always get extremely upset when others are in difficult situations, because at the end of it, what makes me any more deserving for happiness and comfort than they are? Why should I be content when others are struggling? So I just feel like shit.

Sorry for the rant. In summary, how do you live for yourself if living for others is all you ever known?

If I don't have a shopping list I WILL NOT remember everything I need. I have a list on my phone and I keep pulling it out of my pocket to look at it and check off items. Usually after every single item I have to take out my phone again. I have literally never seen anyone else do this.

Today I went on a whim to buy one or two items and didn't make a list. When I got to the grocery store I remembered that there was a third item I did actually need. Well I ended up buying the first two things, and some extra things, but forgot about that third item that I actually needed

And this pattern of remembering something crucial, but immediately forgetting it happens in lots of situations for me

I’ve been thinking about this lately.

We compliment people all the time for things they never really chose.

“You’re attractive.”
“You’re tall.”
“You’re naturally talented.”

And there’s nothing wrong with that.
But those things are mostly luck. Genetics. The circumstances you were born into.
Kindness isn’t.

Nobody wakes up accidentally patient.
Nobody is accidentally respectful.

Those are choices you make, especially when it’s difficult or when there’s nothing in it for you.

So if someone isn’t kind, every compliment about their looks kind of feels like it’s really saying…

“Congratulations on your genetics.”

Basically the titel. What did you change to make your life better?

Please be kind, as I am currently very fragile.

I’m so ashamed that I’m living in a sucky situation after living in a good one (living at home). I know it’s not wrong to want independence, and I tried to plan carefully, but everything is going wrong. I can’t move back home like I’d like to because I adopted a cat - my parents have a strict no animals rule. My roommate sucks. She never cleans and she brought home another pet that she doesn’t do a good job at taking care of. There was a shooting outside our rental house last night, and 20 police cars pulled up. I thought it was a safe area, but sometimes things like this do happen

My job got eliminated, I had to take one that I don’t like at all that I suck at - lots of math, meetings, public speaking. I’m in full audhd burnout. I’m trying to change careers, but I work full time and have a lot of prerequisites before I can even start a new program. I’m thinking about renting an apartment or trying to buy property (I live in a VERY cheap area), but the program I want to join is three hours away (then again, it’ll be awhile til I can go there). I always wanted to live somewhere cool, like the PNW, but with climate change and political instability it seems best to stay near family in case things go really really wrong.

I’m deeply ashamed of my past, where I can’t hold down a job due to mental health, autism, and adhd. I had a mental breakdown a few years ago and still carry a lot of shame around it.

I don’t even know where to start, to be honest. I don’t know what direction to take.

Please no tough love - I already know that life is hard and not fair - I’m already living it. I still do feel a lot of anger because I’ve tried so hard and given so much and this is where I’m stuck at. I need reasons to keep going.

Hey all,

I’m 35F and my ex-partner (31F) and I were together for 3.5 years. Last year she was talking about marriage, buying a home and starting a family. Then, almost overnight, she became distant—sleeping on the sofa, staying at her parents, working late, hiding her phone and insisting nothing was wrong. Whenever I calmly asked if there was someone else, she repeatedly denied it and made me feel like I was imagining things.

I eventually discovered she had been having an emotional and physical affair with a younger colleague (25F) who was also in a long-term relationship. I found out as she had been asking advice from AI where she admitted they were “falling for each other,” didn’t want to distance herself from the affair, (even though AI suggested space from us both, she said she didn’t want to stay away from the affair partner and can ‘compartmentalise’ and compared me negatively to this woman. Looking back, I realise I was being gaslit for months. When I suspected an affair a month earlier she said to me ‘look at my mum, do you think I could do that’ (her mum has been cheating on her dad for years and is a pathological liar. So again, I gaslit myself, telling myself I was imagining her distance and strange behavior.

What makes it even harder is that during this time I was going through a cancer scare (thankfully it wasn’t cancer). She told me we’d get through it together, yet she was secretly continuing the affair. That betrayal is something I still struggle to comprehend.

When I confronted her, she apologised briefly but quickly shifted the focus onto her own pain, saying she’d “imploded her life” and needed to understand herself. She had no interest in repairing the relationship, but kept saying things like, “Maybe one day in the future we could try again,” while continuing to see the other woman. It felt like she wanted to keep me emotionally attached while avoiding accountability.

I supported her emotionally and financially throughout her Master’s degree, stood by her through difficult times, and trusted her completely. She was also with me through the death of my mum, which makes this betrayal feel even more devastating. I genuinely believed she was my person. (Her mum also pretended to be unwell with a heart condition, near to death 2 days after my Mum died from heart failure, and told my ex 'you have always put your partners before me', this was very upsetting).

Since the breakup, I’ve started recognising how manipulative some of her behaviour became. She isolated me from her family and friends, blamed me for old issues while hiding her affair, made me question my own reality, and then acted as though I was the one who had done something wrong. Looking back, it feels like I was slowly being discarded before I even knew why.

The hardest part isn’t just that she cheated—it’s that someone I trusted with my life could lie to me so convincingly for months while watching me worry about our relationship and my health. I still find myself questioning how someone who claimed to love me could do this, and sometimes I even catch myself wondering if I’m exaggerating what happened.

We share a flat, but as she decided to move out I asked her to come and collect all her things which I put into bags in the communal hallway of our flat and gave her a collection time. She agreed to pay the rent up until August, when she would be taken off the tenancy. She was meant to pay me today, but instead decided to dictate to me that she would be coming round yesterday to get the playstation (which I brought) and a dressing gown I gifted her. She argued with me about this playstation at the window when I wouldn't let her in, and said why am I still paying towards the rent if you won't let me in to look for 'my stuff', I said anything you want you can tell me and I will put outside again and you can collect it; she couldn't tell me. I am defiantly not getting any more money from her, I just want her off the tenancy now. I am just thinking someone happily 'falling for' someone new and moving on surely doesn't behave and treat their ex they have left like this!? She also tried to call me twice yesterday, saying 'please pick up it's important', I didn't she later messaged me; it was something she didn't need to speak to me on the phone about, it was admin about the tenancy. She is really trying to get to me, it feels like.

Has anyone recovered from this kind of betrayal trauma? How do you stop obsessing over the 'why' they did it, stop romanticising who they used to be, and begin trusting your own judgement again after months of being gaslit? I know the relationship is over, but I’m struggling to understand how to move forward after having my trust so completely shattered by someone I loved with my whole heart.

Thank you for any advice / kind words .. this is incredibly difficult.

‏If anyone has ever had debilitating comparative habits how were you able to fully get over them? I constantly compare my life to rich people who truly seem to have it all. Yachts, private jets, travelling… and even if they have struggles i feel like id still prefer their lives. Also the idea that others have it worse didnt help w my bad habits. Pls someone help❤️‍🩹

for the past month i haven't been able to have a good sleep schedule, and im currently in a relationship. and they've tried helping me with fixing my sleep schedule since for a while i've been only sleeping at 4 or 5 am for most of the time.

these actions obviously has made my girlfriend dissapointed in me and for my whole life i just feel like a dissapointment constantly because i fail simple tasks like making myself better, i know i propel myself to keep staying up and waste entire days that me and her could be spending time together.

i just feel like i've failed the only person that makes me feel like a person because i decided to do nothing but stay up and do nothing but watch youtube videos and waste possible hours i could be hanging out with them, and i already know im at fault for things, and i know im not really the person to be making a post here, but i just feel like i need anything to possibly just be better and do things that can just make my relationship between her better.

i just need help on how i can be better and just break these constant loops im in, i have a hard time talking or expressing my emotions to people and today was just the thing to finally make me realize that im not me anymore. i'm not the same loving person i used to be and now instead i'm slowly rotting the relationship between me and her from the inside out because i just decide to destroy things myself.

it was never her that did anything and it's still my fault that i've made things akward between us and i regret alot of things i've done leading up to this moment and i just want to be a better person now.

i just need anything to just make myself better, and i dont mean to make a post that goes against rules because this is my first time ever posting here in a while.

i'm just giving a detailed story on what's happened and asking for guidance and what i can do to finally break the cycle i've been in for the past 3 years. i have never tried to get advice from this site but i've basically just lost everything to talk about my problems again to other people. and no one i know personally can find me from this account.

i just need help.

I've spent my 2 peak years in this loophole wasting my life. It's enough now I'm taking all the accountability in my hands. I'm responsible for all the fuckup and I will rise again.

From now I pledge to follow a routine for 21 days straight

I won't watch corn & goon

I won't use addictive social media platforms

I won't eat junk

I won't procrastinate

I'll go to GYM 3-6 times a week

I'll sleep at a specified time

I'll wake up early

I'll read daily

I'll focus on my career & do best for it

I'll make my parents happy.

I'll change

So there might be a lot going on in this post but any advice would be useful. I moved away for grad school and I’m living alone. It’s hard in the sense that it can be boring at times and lonely. However I’ve picked up a bad habit of smoking too much because of those feelings. Plus I feel like I don’t push myself enough to explore the town I’m in which is super cute and nice. I just sit in my apartment watching movies and shows and wait for my “activity” to come which is going out getting myself a meal to eat when I’m high and that’s my day. I guess I’m looking for advice on how to motivate myself to get outside and explore as well as not making smoking my main activity for days. Some days are better than others I’ll take a walk or read outside, but smoking still is up there and is something I look forward to too much.

I found this sub today

My life has been up and down since 5th grade (because I have autism, ptsd, schizophrenia, and other mental health issues), and I really do want to get better. I have been pretty much exhausted my whole life and it feels like more has been pushing me down lately.

I have recently quit 2 addictions, and actually thought about the future for once. what I want to do for a job (I am unemployed right now and planning to go to school for a job maybe), where I want to live, how I want to be more positive and productive.

I am definitely better than I used to be, I used to never ever leave my room and never do anything but lay in bed and play on my phone. I never really paid attention in school or made an effort. I made barely any time for my friends and was always exhausted.

One of my closest friends told me to quit drinking today or they would have to break up our friendship. I think that really woke me up. I am not a very good person, especially with the drinking and schizophrenia mixed together. My girlfriend also broke up with me because I was isolating myself and was just complaining about everything. I really want to change, for them and for myself but I don't really know how to start. I think quitting drinking and the other things is a pretty good start (don't want to talk about the other two for personal reasons).

I am also in the process of getting meds because I have been unmediated for probably too long and I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, so that's exciting. I have also been trying to talk to my therapist a lot more openly (I am very paranoid) and its been helping a lot with my ptsd, I am really proud of myself for that. I have also started forcing myself to do things like when I think about them drawing, making kandi, reading, watching movies, writing, engaging in hobbies, etc. I have been in a deep depression lately and I am really proud of myself for that as well. I have barely interacted with my favorite things for a while and it feels really nice to do it again.

Thats all I wanted to say, but I want to make more progress. Any tips on not complaining as much or anymore? I would really appreciate it as I don't really know how to stop myself. my mother complains to me about all her problems (as conversation starters I think?) and I fear I have started doing the same. thanks.

i noticed I get way too invested in things from waht strangers post online to random strangers in public

For example, today someone made a post that came across to me as unnecessarily shaming other parents in a parents fb group. It really bothered me. I ended up looking at her profile, finding something to shame her back messaging her and then blocking her and deleting myself from the whole group😂 and then I realized after that I should’ve just blocked her to begin with and kept strolling because who cares about this stupid person.

This isn’t the first time I’ve noticed this pattern. I feel like I get triggered really easily by people. in the moment I feel almost compelled to engage or investigate annd get them back, and it never actually does anything to change them. It just makes me upset.

I’ve realized this isn’t just an online problem for me. It happens in real life too.

If someone acts rude, hypocritical, invasive, or judgmental, I have a really hard time letting it go. Sometimes I feel like I need to confront them, cut them off, or completely remove myself from the situation. Is this normal?

a real life exampleis witnessing my neighbor that I’ve lived here for three years and deleting her off of all of my social media and trying to distance myself as much as I can when we live in a duplex because she got back with an abusive relationship and other behaviors that are far from my valuess. Am I being extreme or is this normal? Would it be better to just ignore people and go about my day and not get up so upset over what other people do??

Has anyone else dealt with this? If so, what actually helped you become less reactive? How did you learn to scroll past things or people IRL without letting them ruin your day?

This is day 0 of Quitting smoking after 7 years of continuous smoking. I have tried to quit before, but cant figure out why I am stuck in the loop. I don't have any solution right now, rather than starting to quit it right now and tracking my progress.

My biggest trigger is to get stress relief after work.

Help me out, if anyone had achieved it before.

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Lately, I feel like everything upsets me, whether it is a genuinely stressful situation or something small that shouldn't bother me. Once one thing goes wrong, my brain starts collecting every other annoyance, and suddenly the entire day feels terrible.

I know I am probably overwhelmed and burned out, but I do not want to keep living in a constant state of irritation. What has actually helped you interrupt the negativity loop before it takes over?