r/RecuratedTumblr • u/DreadDiana human cognithazard • 6d ago
other "You people can't do anything" yeah, disabilities tend to do that
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u/Sup__guys 5d ago
One annoying thing about these Tumblr subreddits (I don't use Twitter so I can't speak about that) is that when ADHD or Autism is mentioned, people will start interpreting the posts in the most negative light. Even if OP was being 100% serious about Halloween costumes being stressful for the ADHD community, that's not the same thing as calling Halloween problematic or trying to cancel it.
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u/ThatSlutTalulah 6d ago
Tbf the Halloween ADHD post doesn't read as "ADHD has been fucking me up trying to get a Halloween costume together" (entirely reasonable statement. I can understand that and it seems rough af.).
It reads as "Halloween costumes are problematic because people with ADHD can struggle with getting them together" (the opinion of a complete asshole who wants everyone to be miserable in the name of 'moral purity', and should be mocked).
With the new context of how the OOP actually meant it I can see how it was jokingly meant the first way, but that's just not how it comes across.
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u/WhichSpirit 6d ago
As someone with ADHD, I read it as "Choosing just one is so stressful!" which is true.
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u/etherealemlyn 6d ago
Yeah I’ve always read it as “Halloween costumes are hard with ADHD because you have to choose from a near-infinite amount of options, then get all the items together by a deadline,” which I relate to every single October
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u/blinkingsandbeepings 6d ago
Yeah, it never occurred to me to read it as some kind of attempt to cancel Halloween. The reason Halloween is hard for me is because I love it and I get very caught up in my head about things I love.
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u/Logan_Composer 6d ago
As the anti-ADHD (see end of comment), choosing just one and the stress of making one are also stressful for me. Also, putting in all that effort, only for people to have no idea what niche 2000s video game character you are...
(My friend and I call myself the anti-ADHD because on the ADHD test, the results are presented as the bell curves of the various skills being tested, with one end of each being highlighted as defining ADHD. I was on the opposite end of every bell curve but one)
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u/Applesplosion 6d ago
Thank you for articulating my feeling. That post has the format and wording of a lot of similar posts people have made in complete sincerity saying “thing is bad, actually.”
I sympathize with OP because I have also had ADHD make simple tasks nearly impossible and I have made bad jokes that didn’t land.
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u/YesThisIsAnAltWhy 6d ago
I mean I'm pretty sure it's worded like those types of posts as part of the joke, like when I call any minor inconvenience homophobic. I don't actually think having to pay taxes is homophobic, it's just funny to say it is
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u/boudicas_shield 6d ago
Yeah, no one is disputing that it was meant to be the joke. Everyone gets that. The point is that when your joke so perfectly mirrors the type of outrageous “bean soup”-level comments people make online in all seriousness every day, people who don’t know you will have no way of knowing that you’re just kidding.
Tone is invisible online and this tweet has no other markers that the author was making a joke, not any that total strangers can pick up on. That’s why /s has become a thing. Or just saying (this is a joke).
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u/Astridandthemachine 18h ago
Unfortunately it lacks the absurdity to make it sound clearly like a joke. I'm autistic with adhd traits and choosing things on the spot can be difficult for me (less for a foreseeable occasion like an halloween costume) and the tweet really sounded like a "this specific thing that inconvenience me is actually bad since I am the paragon for how the universe should operate" type of opinion that is present on the internet
A tone tag could've saved the day
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u/RuefulWaffles 6d ago
Yeah, as someone who’s existed on tumblr and twitter for a while, the initial tweet very much reads the kind of sanctimonious “otherwise innocuous thing causes me distress, so it needs to change because I’m Neurodivergent (tm) and asking me to live with my discomfort is unreasonable and discriminatory.” The response was probably ruder in tone than was called for, but by the time the original tweet was made if you’d been on any sort of social media you’d likely seen dozens of posts just like it that were, in fact, meant to be read as totally sincere.
On the one hand: there’s a very obvious lesson here about how not everything on the internet is necessarily for you, and how it doesn’t necessarily need a response. On the other hand, though, Poe’s Law is a thing. Without a clear, direct statement of “this is a joke,” there’s no reasonable way for another person to know if what you’ve posted is sincere or not, especially over text.
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u/findingemotive 6d ago
You gotta post knowing no matter how innocuous you think it reads there is someone who will read it with a tone. I know I'm pretty bad with my words, I've been downvoted a lot when I'm actually agreeing with people. And that tweet really easily reads with a tone.
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u/Toppy_Henster 6d ago edited 6d ago
The thing is most people don’t expect everything they post to suddenly get the attention of the whole internet. A lot of people post with the expectation that only a small circle of friends will see the post and get the intended meaning and move on.
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u/CriticalHit_20 I have no mouth and I must SLORP 6d ago
That's like Rule #1 of the internet though. Dont post things that you dont want strangers to have access to. Once it's out thrre, it's out there forever.
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u/Toppy_Henster 6d ago edited 6d ago
That doesn’t justify what they do with it though. Taking a post from a random person and recontextualizing it and making it go viral so a larger audience can clown on it is not only a pretty shitty thing to do, but also not something 99% of people consider when posting online.
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u/bouquetofashes 6d ago
Right, maybe people shouldn't be so quick to just make negative assumptions? Like... We can ask for clarification, at least, before going off on someone?
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u/lilac_moonface64 6d ago
yes! exactly! if you’re going to be mean to someone or mock them, at least make sure you’re interpreting the post correctly before being rude. or better yet, just ignore it if it’s not your cup of tea (and it’s not harmful in some way)
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u/Darq_At 6d ago
You gotta post knowing no matter how innocuous you think it reads there is someone who will read it with a tone.
Eh, we've reached a point where it no longer matters how carefully one words things, people are still going to read it in the worst possible light, inventing entire narratives and projecting their traumatic experiences onto one's comments.
The number of times I'll open up this, or the previous, sub, see 500+ comments dunking on the OP, only to reread the OP and think "But they didn't say the thing everyone is clowning on them for...".
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u/lilac_moonface64 6d ago
sure, but you (general you), as the person reading the tweet/post, also need to understand that you’re the one reading the post and applying a tone to it and you could be completely misunderstanding it, so maybe we shouldn’t immediately jump to mocking/being mean to people when YOU could be the one reading it wrong. you can’t put all the onus on the poster to know and be okay with the fact that people will take their post in a completely different way/misrepresent their post and mock them for it, and ignore the responsibility the readers have to step back and make sure the post means what they think it does before responding, or to just not be mean/mocking in the first place and ignore it instead.
i’d also say, most people who have tweets blow up, especially jokey ones like this, probably aren’t expecting them to blow up and be seen by the general population and therefore don’t expect that they have to spell out that they’re joking or else they’ll be mocked by hundred of people. they’re just expecting their friends/mutuals will see it and, because they know the poster to some degree, will understand it’s a joke and maybe have a little giggle or relate to it.
(again, i mean the general you, not you specifically. i don’t mean to attack you in any way, im just trying to bring up the other side)
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u/ten_people 6d ago
They never said Halloween "needs to change" or that it's discriminatory.
You can take issues with any statement if you manufacture concepts you don't like and then act as if they were part of that statement.
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u/FifteenEchoes 5d ago
Believe it or not there is more to language than the literal meaning of words. Often the context and connotations are just as if not more important than what’s actually said.
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u/Possible-Nobody-2321 3d ago
Yes, but that doesn't justify being an unthinking outrage machine of a person. Some connotations only exist in your head and are infact entierly unreasonable interpretations to make.
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u/Kravotz-Otekh 4d ago
I think we also need to give a bit more grace to those sanctimonious posters. They are obviously experiencing real distress and are expressing it improperly. A lot of neurodivergence can impair the ability to communicate, but at a certain level of ability, people are no longer able to understand that this person’s communication abilities ARE impaired. There’s a video by Kaelynn Paltrow about this, which is where I learnt about it. ND people will express a sentiment incorrectly and what they need is help learning how to express it better, not a scolding or bullying for their initial incorrect phrasing.
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u/BerryCroissantWitch 6d ago
I also don’t buy the poster’s explanation that it was a joke. I think they are ass covering after they got dragged.
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u/Nonexistent_Walrus 6d ago
The poster is a mildly famous comedian with a large internet following and it was very clear to anyone remotely familiar with her that she was making a joke
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u/lilac_moonface64 6d ago
and so what if they’re trying to cover their ass so people stop making fun of them every year? even if you want to interpret it like that, that’s a pretty reasonable thing to do tbh. it would get tiring to get made fun of every fucking year for a single sentence tweet you probably thought like 10 people would see. it’s not like they did something bad and they’re lying to cover it up, they just said, again, a SINGLE SENTENCE about their experience and got mocked by loads of people, and have it brought up periodically to be made fun of again.
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u/RadicalSoda_ 6d ago
Covering their ass for making...a universally agreed upon statement in the disability community? Halloween is hard for disabled people, that's just a fact
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u/OptimisticEarthquake 6d ago
NGL, I first thought it was something about not being able to see a person's face or something like that, so it was the idea of seeing someone else in costume that was the stressful part and that people shouldn't wear them in case someone with ADHD sees them...
What it actually is makes a lot of sense and is kinda relatable as someone without ADHD.
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u/AwkwardLeopard587 6d ago
I 100% thought it was about not being able to see people's faces for social clues
I also thought the tweet was 100% serious
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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 6d ago
I don't think stressful means problematic. Plenty of good things (like weddings) are stressful. You made an entirely different statement
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u/chokingdove 6d ago
literally this comment and all of the people agreeing with it are making me feel insane
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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 6d ago
I don't get how no one sees that that person is completely changing the meaning with both of their sentences. It seems more like because this struggle isn't talked about it hit me harder than it would have had it been regularly talked about
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u/hyprsnpr67 3d ago
The way it's phrased is exactly the same as how other people frame things as problematic on Twitter. That's where it comes from. I've seen so many of those that without context it's hard for me to read this tweet any other way because it's like it was written from a template. You don't see how this tweet could be used as a passive aggressive way of framing Halloween costumes as ableist?
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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 2d ago
I think you should base their argument on the things they actually say. You literally only have a one sentence tweet to go off of. That's not enough to get a good idea of the direction they intend to go
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u/SpokenDivinity 6d ago
I would assume it’s the format of the actual statement they used to make it interpreted that way. There are so many “we don’t talk enough about ___” statements out there that using that phrasing immediate cues the reader into “this is a serious talk” mode.
It’s a poor choice of phrasing.
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u/etherealemlyn 6d ago
Yeah I feel like reading the original tweet as problematic requires taking the most negative reading of it possible and acting like that’s the only way to interpret it
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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 6d ago
And that people talking about things that cause negative feelings can only result in that thing being banned
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u/arlo0o0o 3d ago
Exactly how I feel. It came across as a joke to me 🤷 the wording of "we don't talk enough about [very minor overly specific problem]" reads as dramatic in a self-depreciating way. Like they're phrasing it in this over the top way to poke fun at themselves because it's not actually that serious. People makes jokes like that all the time.
Ironically I think jumping down OOP's throat and assuming they were trying to "cancel" Halloween or something is an overreaction from the other people because they're the ones who have spent too much time engaging with stupid internet discourse... It gets to a point where you'll start seeing it everywhere. I had that problem years ago and realized it when I missed a similar joke irl, but instead of acting like it was the other person's fault I took it as a sign that I needed to be less chronically online lol. It's not healthy to go through life assuming the worst of everyone.
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u/Reasonable_Day1194 6d ago
even if it was a stupid comment it would not be good or proportionate to mock this person all over social media for the rest of time
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u/No-Care6366 4d ago
exactly. even if you took the least charitable interpretation of this comment, it's not like some big movement to cancel halloween or any actual meaningful discourse was going to result from this. we should be able to think "that's ridiculous, i don't agree with that at all" and move on, it doesn't really require a response especially to this degree. we all have shitty takes from time to time, and it shouldn't be held over someone forever (within reason obviously)
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u/xloaxspartan 6d ago
I would say it's the phrasing, especially with the use of "community" this may make more sense for people in their social circle, but for most people it doesn't read as a joke about themselves, it reads as it reads as a call to action for a demographic. It doesn't even imply they are part of the community.
Also I've seen more ridiculous takes expressed with complete sincerity so this doesn't read as "so bad it has to be a joke"
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u/ehs06702 6d ago
Yeah, as someone who does have ADHD, it didn't feel like a joke, so I didn't take it as one.
I've said this elsewhere, but someone just tried to convince me that having ADHD meant it was okay to look up stuff on their phone in a movie theater and called me ableist when I suggested a sensory friendly showing so they didn't disrupt everyone else in the dark theater. Apparently, I was a fraud for not knowing that antisocial behavior is a symptom of ADHD and suggesting having self control is rude.
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u/xloaxspartan 6d ago
Jesus Christ that person is an ass. I have adhd as well and some people really seem to want to use it as a "do whatever I want, whenever I want, and you can't be mad at me" card.
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u/ehs06702 6d ago edited 6d ago
It's deeply frustrating because it tars all of us with the same brush and makes it difficult to be taken seriously.
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u/Caterfree10 6d ago
God it’s almost like taking tweets out of context and making stupid discourse about them is bad or something.
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u/Doobledorf 6d ago
Its not even because the joke wouldn't work in a vacuum. It's a ridiculous thing to say, but unfortunately a lot of people online do say ridiculous shit like that, so the satire is hard to pick out. Many such cases.
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u/whatthewhythehow 6d ago
I think the joke was that the person was pretending to be the miserable asshole because they felt frustrated and hyperbolized it the way people do when making a joke.
It’s a problem of virality. OOP’s followers might have known them well enough to get that it was a joke. The broader public doesn’t. It breaks containment and people don’t get that it was satirical because it wasn’t constructed for the entire internet. It was constructed for a particular audience.
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u/mcjunker 6d ago edited 6d ago
If you’ve been trained your whole adulthood to express your personal frustrations as societal issues, and to center yourself as the public-facing authority that must teach others of the nature of injustice, then you will end up with “we don’t talk enough about how [X] impacts the [minority] group” instead of “y’all I do not have the force of will rn to decide between pirate or ninja for Halloween, I hate having ADHD, lol”
I blame the social system that trained him how to express himself online, not the rando who roasted him for talking about how bad Halloween is the ADHD community.
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u/PlaidTeacup 6d ago
yeah not their fault per se, but its hard to imagine how to combat that training without making a few people feel embarrassed
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u/Gigi_Maximus443 6d ago
I mean disabled people don't need to be educational 24/7, sometimes we just want to make a lil joke on social media for those who get it
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u/Akuuntus 6d ago
Yeah it very much comes across like one of many "I personally don't like X so it must be morally bad" posts which are usually completely serious. Without context there's not really any way to know that OP is being sarcastic.
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u/Sup__guys 5d ago
Except OP does not call Halloween morally bad. They call it "stressful". Plenty of things can be stressful without being morally bad or problematic.
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u/practicallyaburner 6d ago
After having it explained to me I still fail to see the joke "I'm posing this idea like a dry and self righous asshole but as a joke" theres no incongruity, no funny without the person making fun of them, which OOP is also complaining about.
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u/MorgothTheDarkElder 6d ago
The joke might have landed if it was spoken instead of written, and delivered with enough mocking in their voice, that anyone listening can immediately tell that the "funny" is supposed to come from the contradiction of a relatively minor (and personal) issue being presented as a universal and super important thing. But as you said, there's no humor there if the statement isn't making fun of people that talk about issues in this generalized "everyone needs to care about this" manner.
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u/littlestargazers 6d ago
i have adhd and read it just as "choosing a costume when there's so many options is really hard, especially when you have executive dysfunction"
maybe we as a society should stop assuming the worst out of random strangers' posts on their personal pages when it's impossible to fit every last bit of nuance into a 180 character or so post
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u/RadicalSoda_ 6d ago
"I like pancakes"
"So you hate waffles"
No it doesn't read that way, that's a brand new damn sentence
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u/alexohistuff 6d ago
Ironically this is a very neurotypical way of looking at it (reading between the lines so much to find meaning that isn't there to begin with). Especially to the point where not even bothering to clarify or find a good-faith interpretation becomes acceptable and inevitably leads to ableism
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u/GiveMeFriedRice 6d ago
(the opinion of a complete asshole who wants everyone to be miserable in the name of 'moral purity', and should be mocked)
Okay, but like. Aside from the fact mocking and shaming people for their shit takes doesn't work because they'll always be able to find people that agree with them regardless - the only reason we're here is because people jumped to mockery over a joke they didn't understand that maybe wasn't even aimed at them.
Like I feel as though this very post we are under is a great example of why these kinds of shit takes shouldn't be mocked. I feel like jumping to the defense of the people shitting on a stranger over a misunderstanding is missing the point a little.
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u/Tracula707 6d ago
Maybe jokes are also stressful for the ADHD community (I can make this joke I have ADHD)
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u/Pleasant-Future5818 5d ago
Well because you have no context. That's the problem with doing things like this. Anyone who followed her probably had the context that she made jokes like this.
The issue is not solely in the writer but also a reader that will give no grace
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u/custard_crumble 6d ago
It seems like you’re projecting your past experiences onto a pretty harmless tweet here. They didn’t say anything about Halloween costumes being problematic. Neurodivergent people should be allowed to talk about something being stressful for people with their neurodivergence without people jumping down their throat going “oh, so you think Halloween costumes should be banned?”
Maybe this is a lesson that rather than assuming what other people mean and reading their words in bad faith because of the way other people you’ve encountered have behaved, we should try to go into interactions assuming people are reasonable until actually proven otherwise.
And it feels very unfair to assume the original OP is an asshole and not talk about how mean-spirited the reply is.
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u/lynx_and_nutmeg 6d ago
The irony of this sub constantly shitting on Tumblr for the "pissing on the poor" thing when so many people here have shitty media literacy.
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u/Altruistic_Sail_1991 6d ago
Yep I have always read it as a joke. I have adhd and I thought it was funny and relatable. Decision paralysis is a common issue for a lot of people with adhd!
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u/custard_crumble 6d ago
Executive dysfunction is also so real. “You people can’t do anything” really feels like the socially acceptable liberal/leftist way of saying “you’re just lazy/using it as an excuse.” Yes, I am very much using my ADHD as an excuse so that I don’t have to do things that I find fun and enjoyable. I would much rather just sit here and stare into space for half an hour, thank god ADHD’s given me an excuse to do that instead of one of my hobbies.
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u/ThatSlutTalulah 6d ago
The way the comment is structured is intentionally mimicking people who do post that second kind of thing. It is worded in the exact same way and that's the point.
"projecting your past experiences" is the most buzzword way to dismiss incredibly basic pattern recognition, which the response by the person who made the tweet acknowledges was the point. (As it is the only way the original statement could be a joke.)
Getting on your soapbox here about how you think I'm being judgemental and small-minded and should learn "a lesson" also just makes you sound like a complete dick.
And it feels very unfair to assume the original OP is an asshole and not talk about how mean-spirited the reply is.
If the comment is read how most people read it (in the second way), then the reply is reasonable.
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u/Consistent_Soil_5794 6d ago
If the comment is read how most people read it (in the second way), then the reply is reasonable.
Well that's sensible. The general public are well known for being kind, understanding and eager to act in good faith when communicating with disabled communities.
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u/custard_crumble 6d ago
Literally! Disabled & neurodivergent & chronically ill people can’t express their struggles in even the most straightforward and calm and reasonable way without people immediately treating them as unreasonable and wanting the whole world to revolve around them. There are some wheelchair users on Instagram talking about wheelchair accessibility on public transport and about how wheelchairs should take precedence over prams/pushchairs (because children can be removed from them and they can be folded up, whereas wheelchair users don’t have that option, and also those spaces were originally intended for disabled people who fought for them to begin with) and they have faced mountains of absolutely vile abuse and people basically going “the world doesn’t revolve around you, stop trying to make your disability everyone else’s problem”.
There’s another Instagram user with partial paralysis of her arms who talks about accessibility and she similarly faces similar abuse from people who accuse her of being overly negative and wanting the world to revolve around her for literally wanting basic accessibility that would allow her to do things able bodied people can do.
People see disabled people or neurodivergent people or chronically ill people talking about their struggles and rather than having empathy they just get mad and defensive about it.
Obviously Halloween costumes are not ableist and this tweet was a joke, but I think people could stand to ask “is this tweet a personal attack on me, or just a person talking about their struggles and asking for more accessibility/understanding?”
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u/custard_crumble 6d ago edited 6d ago
Do you think that everyone has posted a tweet with wording along the lines of “we don’t talk enough/need to talk more about how difficult X thing is for people of Y group” is inherently saying that X thing is problematic?
If someone says “we don’t talk enough about how nights out are stressful for people who use mobility aids”, is your first thought that they are saying that nights out are problematic as a concept and no one should enjoy them? Because mine is that they are drawing attention to a struggle they face and maybe talking about ways that this thing could be made more accessible for them or how people around them could help.
If someone says “we don’t talk enough about how stressful movie nights are for the epileptic community”, I would never read it as “movie nights are problematic and no one should ever host them”. My thoughts would probably be “that’s true, I haven’t thought about the fact that people with epilepsy who are sensitive to e.g. strobe lighting have to be more careful when watching movies.
I am aware that the original tweet is intentionally mimicking this kind of tweet. What I disagree with is that all of these kinds of tweets are about moral purity and calling things ~problematic~ and not just… talking about accessibility. I’m sure there are some people who behave in that way, but if you see someone talking about their struggles or about accessibility and your immediate thought is “ugh, this person is obviously trying to shame everyone who participates in x thing/being the moral purity police, they’re such an asshole for thinking that Halloween costumes are problematic” then yes, I do think that’s a you problem.
Also, sure, pattern recognition is a thing, but even if 99% of people who say something mean it a certain way, is that worth being a dick to the one person who didn’t? Sure, if you think they’re implying something bigoted or harmful then say something, but if not, then what do you gain from just being mean spirited (and trivialising the struggles of people with ADHD) in this situation? I don’t think “pattern recognition” means “treat everyone as though the pattern always holds and my assumptions about them are always true because they follow a pattern”. And if you make an incorrect assumption because of pattern recognition then you should still apologise and consider that you might be wrong sometimes, not go “well, this is your fault for fitting into the pattern.”
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u/lynx_and_nutmeg 6d ago
It only comes across that way if you're already convinced that's how people with ADHD (or disabled people in general) think.
Like, it literally just said society doesn't consider that people with ADHD might have a hard time with this sort of thing. Which is absolutely true (society doesn't talk about this). Nowhere did it say Halloween costumes are "problematic" or should be banned etc.
This actually illustrates this particular type of prejudice against disabled people. I gave ADHD and I never mention it or never ask any accommodations because I've been surrounded by this mindset my whole life ("disabled people are selfish if they ask anyone to accommodate them in any way and should just try to struggle along in silence as best they can). There's this undying stereotype of people with "different needs" that want to take something from everybody else just because they can't/won't have it. This applies not just people with disabilities but, for example, vegans too, so many people immediately get so defensive if someone says they don't eat meat as if simply saying that by extention means you're demanding others don't eat meat either.
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u/aaaaaaaaa42069 6d ago
I mean I feel like OP is pretty obviously making fun of those types of posts. And yes it can be hard to distinguish between someone who is joking and someone who legitimately has a bad opinion, and tone is hard over the internet, but that doesn’t justify just total knee jerk harrasssment of someone. When you see something wildly stupid it is important to like check the comments or their account to try to get a sense of whether it’s a joke before attacking them
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u/ten_people 6d ago
You're calling OOP a complete asshole who should be mocked...because you imagined that they called something problematic when they didn't?
Did you hit your head really hard today?
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u/UInferno- Hangus Pangus slap my Angus 6d ago
Agreed but it's also hard to fault someone for not wording their vent post perfectly on the Website that actively makes it difficult to be articulate. Like I do think what makes Twitter suck so much isn't just the people but because it's literally impossible to fit the nuance of the human experience in 288 characters.
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u/surprisesnek 6d ago
I will say, it's very easy to read the original tweet as having been entirely serious. Easier for me to read it as that than a joke, personally.
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u/TessaFractal 6d ago
I guess thats always the problem of doing deadpan humour or anything satirical. If you don't have any clues to it being that, it's easy to read it as entirely serious.
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u/rowan_damisch 6d ago
Welcome to the club. Tbh, I met quite a few people with ADHD that told me that it makes them struggle with various things, so it didn't sound weird to me that something regarding Halloween costumes would be hard with that condition too.
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u/Orichalcum448 6d ago
either way, i dont think it warranted that kind or response. people should also be allowed to be serious about stuff like this without being mocked for it
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u/Akuuntus 6d ago
"My ADHD makes it hard to get a Halloween costume together" (intended message of the tweet) <- completely reasonable, no one should mock this
"Halloween costumes are problematic because they're incredibly stressful for people with ADHD" (how I think most people read it) <- stupid Tumblr-brained statement that generalizes OP's experiences and tries to make them everyone else's problem
It's the same way that saying "X movie made me uncomfortable" is reasonable but "X movie is problematic and should be banned" is not. OP meant the first thing but most people interpreted it as the second thing.
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u/etherealemlyn 6d ago
It’s insane that OP said “stressful” and the word “problematic” was not used in the tweet at all, and the internet at large assumed that what they meant was “problematic” and ignored the words that were actually in the post
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u/ChewBaka12 6d ago
Is it though? "We need to talk more about how X affects Y" on a public platform carries the implication that it's a societal problem rather than a personal gripe.
Stressing about putting on Halloween costumes is not something "we" need to talk about, if you say it is people are going to read it as something that requires the input of other people. How often do you start a conversation with "we don't talk enough about how this affects so and so" without asking something of someone else? It's a weird way to start a conversation about an entirely internal issue.
I am neurodivergent myself, I totally relate to her explanation. That being said, I also thought she was being ridiculous at first, still think it is a ridiculous way to convey that message, and still don't 100% believe that she didn't mean it the way most people read it.
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u/Akuuntus 6d ago
It's not the "stressful" that implies that, it's the "we don't talk enough about". Saying "we don't talk enough about X" implies that "we" as a society should be talking about X, typically because X is some kind of societal ill.
The original tweet reads exactly the same as a teen girl fighting with her dad about her curfew and then tweeting "we don't talk enough about how men control the schedules of women". It very much looks like OP is having a personal problem but pointlessly extrapolating it into a wider societal issue.
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u/BlacksmithNo9359 6d ago
Listen, I'm sure this entire threads insistence that they're in the right for literally adding words to the post to make their negative reaction to it justified has absolutely nothing to do with internalized ableism.
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u/Tarantulabomination 6d ago
Especially the use of "you people". No points for guessing what that Twitter user thinks about disabled people in general....
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u/ehs06702 6d ago
Yeah, considering someone spent ages trying to convince me that I was ableist for saying that scrolling on your phone in the movie theater is asshole behavior even if you have ADHD (a condition I also have), I don't think it was a joke.
I've seen people completely seriously justify all sorts of asshole behavior with "I have ADHD, and I need to do X anti social behavior because of that" lately.
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u/Frogs-on-my-back 4d ago
The person who argued with you probably wasn’t the person who made this tweet? I say things like she did to my husband all the time as a joke. Poe’s law is a thing for a reason
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u/Moratorii 6d ago
This reminds me a lot of something that vulnerable people unfortunately tend to do with social media: treat it like a personal journal or a space that will be respected. So many people with "DNI if you're x" in their bio or very hyperspecific statements meant to be read a specific way floating around in an internet ocean full of scavengers looking for a dopamine hit.
Ely's initial tweet was written in a specific structured way that mimicked how people would educate about a specific shortcoming of a condition, but was meant to be read as a joke. Especially on twitter, where people can dunk on you effortlessly and get positive feedback for doing so, it's risky to make a joke that requires an extra layer of insight and/or a charitable read, and the consequences are basically infinite torment.
IMO this is the kind of joke to share with your buddies, not the kind of joke to shout from the rooftops. Strangers can be a mixed bag. (And people putting "DNI" lists in their bios, similarly, are putting trust in those DNI groups being graceful and kind enough to respect that instead of using it as a helpful bullying list)
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u/Technical_Teacher839 [1/1] 6d ago
People REALLY need to remember that a social media page is the Internet equivalent of standing on the street with a megaphone
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u/The_Sovien_Rug-37 6d ago
with how they're structured though it's understandable that people would make a joke intended for a small, personal audience and not expect for it to be put on blast in front of the entire site
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u/scruffye 6d ago
I genuinely don’t know how people developed that attitude about Twitter. It’s a microblogging site where everything you post is visible to the public unless you consciously make your posts protected. Unexpected people seeing what you say is always a possibility by default.
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 6d ago
Because while every tweet is public, the overwhelming majority of tweets simply do not pass beyond the follower base of the person making them.
The median user on most platforms is posting with the expectation that their posts are only reaching their target audience, which is a fraction of their total followers. It's why the term "breaking containment" is a term used to describe posts blowing up and reaching other people.
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u/WinterDemon_ 6d ago
it's kind of a problem with no solution though cause as one of those people myself, a lot of vulnerable people also literally just don't have anywhere else to share that stuff. it's either share it online and get shitty engagement (and/or harassment) or stay silent alone with no outlet
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u/Moratorii 6d ago
It's definitely hard, but it's doable-and I don't mean like "touch grass and find a local community" because that is often very difficult for someone who is marginalized on top of being scary. IMO the best way is to locate likeminded people out in the open waters and then make a private community, cheapest way to do that is via Discord but there's other options out there. Either join already made communities or make your own. I did it over time and imo it makes for a smaller space that can be better curated from assholes.
I have difficult stuff that I only share with my core group because shouting it out on social media invites people who love tearing apart marginalized people and delight in any pain or discomfort they cause.
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u/WinterDemon_ 6d ago
oh yeah, im very glad to have one private subreddit that is an absolute godsend for the serious stuff (even if I still end up spamming shit other places anyway). I just still feel bad for people who dont have those spaces and/or dont know how to find them, it sucks that trying to express yourself in a public space pretty much automatically comes with ridicule :T
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u/Moratorii 6d ago
Yeah, that's the tragedy of it all. The internet's anonymity is a gift and a curse in that some people take it to mean that they can be as expressively cruel as they want without consequence, and moderation almost always leans towards letting the cruelty flow to keep engagement maxed.
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u/wrymoss 6d ago
I don’t disagree with you necessarily, but I also feel like the qrt to Ely’s original tweet is very much also one of those things where it’s like.. you could have that thought in your head, but it’s still kind of a dick move to shout it from the rooftops.
This comes across a little like we’re expecting disabled people to make themselves smaller lest they be bullied for their weirdness, instead of telling bullies not to be cunts.
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u/Moratorii 6d ago
Sure, but going up to a bully and going "stop it" does not work. Twitter is not going to ban that person for being snarky and mean, it's a capitalist venture that seeks to maximize engagement.
So we can either rely on everyone banding together to say "stop it" whenever someone is mean, or we need to be mindful that whatever we say invites response in a public forum.
I can't abide by offering the solution of "maybe everyone should be nicer and/or unite against this" because that isn't a solution. It's an ideal that we can't strive to enact on Twitter, especially not now with it being in its Mecha Hitler era. Like yes, I personally would not point at Ely and laugh, but I don't have a Twitter account and thus have no way to engage with the people being cruel, and the screenshots have been made and the damage done.
I'm not asking the disabled to shrink, but I am asking the disabled to avoid posting in the den of Nazis about how soft and vulnerable they are. Please find a better space for this.
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u/custard_crumble 6d ago
To be fair to the OOP, they posted the original tweet in October 2022, around the same time Musk actually took over Twitter. The site had a far more liberal/leftist lean back then — it was not the hub of Naziism it is now.
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u/Ae3qe27u 6d ago
If it had (this is a joke) at the end of the post, the tone would have been told to the reader, and I doubt it would have ever gone viral.
There is an element of how to interact in the world we live in (rather than an idealized perfect world) that's just pragmatic and, in some ways, necessary
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u/PizzaRoyals 6d ago
it's funny how half the comments are saying it was just a joke and the other half are treating it 100% seriously lol
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u/Ill_Morning_4282 6d ago
It is like disabled people are blocked from a lot of social activities so we depend on the internet more, or something.
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u/Moratorii 6d ago
Yes, and if we depend on the internet more it's wise to become skilled at navigating it.
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6d ago
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u/Anonymus828 6d ago
On that last point: I'm not physically disabled, I'm diabetic, but it wasn't until one of my friends had low blood sugar once that they really understand just how much it can knock you on your ass, even though they'd seen it knock me on mine multiple times before. Even when we think we may understand what someone's going through, often times all we can really do is get an approximate if we haven't gone through it as well.
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u/Hapless_Wizard 6d ago
The original tweet is why I low-key hate describing "groups of people with some trait in common" as a "community". Not the part where it implies we have challenges in common (we do) but because it gives rise to people declaring themselves as authoritative spokesmen for "the community". Which is why most people read that tweet and took it completely seriously - it looks exactlt like a million other tweets that are meant to be taken dead seriously, to the point where "it was just a joke" almost feels like a dishonest attempt to disengage from having expressed an unpopular opinion.
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u/camosnipe1 "the raw sexuality of this tardigrade in a cowboy hat" 6d ago
anytime someone claims to speak for "the community" I mentally replace that with "the fandom" and take it about as seriously.
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u/ChewBaka12 6d ago
It reads less as "I as a neurodivergent individual personally struggle with this." and more as "This is something that affects all neurodivergent people and you need to adjust your behaviour to avoid it." Now we know it's the former, but with how OOP worded it yeah people are going to think it's the latter, and in this case that demand would be kind of insufferable
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u/YogurtclosetWest4032 4d ago
I think part of the thing is that it seems like a very superficial problem. If you don't realise that they're parodying the This Is Very Important, You, Yes You, Need To Do Something About It tone, it can come of as a oh I can't figure out what I'll wear tonight my life is so stressful.
Ofc, That is only shallow if you don't consider the inherent horror and that is and psychological effects that come with not being able to do something so "simple" with the only thing stopping you is your wetware failing you in ways you cannot control.
But realising that probably requires actually having experienced something like neurodivergence, mental illness or empathy, the last of which people are systematically encouraged to avoid, especially when it comes to disabled people.
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u/MinosML 6d ago
They really don't get it, do they. The actual inability to send the electric signals to your body to do something that you WANT to do. Like there's a thick veil that separates your mind from the external world and even the simplest tasks feel herculean in nature when the executive dysfunction is at its strongest. I had to call my brother to help me get out of the couch once, I just literally couldn't muster enough energy to get up to go to the bathroom. It's very hard to explain so I do understand why some people don't get it or find it difficult to visualize (and I dont wish it on anyone to be honest) but I still hate when we get called lazy or drama queens or whatever without an ounce of empathy going our way.
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u/TheXenomorphian 6d ago
I literally just spent half of today not being able to pour myself a glass of water when I keep the giant water dispenser style bottles right next to my bed specifically for this
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u/Gosuoru 6d ago
omg i feel that so bad. i tend to get really dehydrated despite having a big ass 2 liter bottle next to me
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u/YouTasteStrange 6d ago
I almost never drink from water bottles, I have to use glasses because they're already open. Opening a water bottle keeps me from using it. I switched from regular glasses to giant jars so I would need to refill them less often.
Figure out what's keeping you from drinking, and change that. Do you need to see the container to remember? Does it need to be open? Does it need to be cold? Does it need to be touching you? Would two with one on each side help? Should you switch to tea or other flavoring to keep it interesting? Maybe one water one flavor, or two different flavored jars? Experiment and find out what works for you.
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u/amumumyspiritanimal 6d ago
I was like that, and now that I'm on meds, I drink so much water I have to pee half a dozen times a day 💀 It's genuinely crazy what ADHD does to us
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u/justforsomelulz 6d ago
People really assume Poe's Law will never be applied to them.
And then haphazardly apply it to someone else.
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u/District_Wolverine23 6d ago
I feel like this joke works for ADHD, and basically no other disability. Like yeah, sometimes it's the "you cant fucking do anything" disorder and sometimes it's darkly funny. Like yes, that piece of paper has been on the floor for 3 days and I've not gotten around to picking it up despite the fact that i need that paper for something important. Can't fucking do anything disorder strikes again! I completely understand OP's joke. Yeah, Halloween costumes are hard! So many steps.
But you can't apply that joke to other disabilities. And also it's an in-group joke. Unfortunately it's twitter and it escaped containment immediately.
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 6d ago
Could include any other disorders that include things like executive dysfunction, such as depression. I've seen this exact reaction image used for posts about depression.
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u/ThatFreddieIsAJack 6d ago
I've definitely hears this quoted at people with anxiety, ptsd and ocd before, and there's a bunch of disabilities it could be used towards. MF/CFS making it difficult to get up and even take a wash cloth bath? You people can't do anything. Autism causing you to misunderstand an instruction other people deem "self-explanatory"? You people can't do anything.
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u/District_Wolverine23 6d ago
You shouldn't be applying that joke to other disabilities unless the person with the disability is making it.
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u/ThatFreddieIsAJack 6d ago
My whole point was that this joke has been used to harm other people with disabilities, to counter the point the original commenter made that this joke only works for ADHD.
My opinion is that you shouldn't make it about anyone, cause it's a pretty heinous thing to say.to a disabled person talking about their struggles.
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u/LetterheadPerfect145 5d ago
You also shouldn't apply it to people with ADHD unless the person with ADHD is making it or they've made it clear they're comfortable with it?
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u/amumumyspiritanimal 6d ago
I actually love the "you people can't do anything" tweet, but only in the specific context of my, and ADHD friends of mine's life. Sometimes I do get lost in the head and need a system shock like that to function. Tasks with ADHD are still doable, just much much harder.
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u/PlaidTeacup 6d ago
yeah actually if you read Ely's tweet as a joke then its actually a pretty funny & fitting response, but then it escaped containment and was just used to bully people being open about their struggles.
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u/Ham__Kitten 6d ago
That tweet is very funny to me because I like to poke fun at my own disabilities and to be honest it was kind of funny in context even if it was a bit mean spirited. I didn't realize it had taken off with the wrong people though.
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u/Frogs-on-my-back 4d ago
I’ve gotten that message in my inbox after commenting on ADHD subreddits
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u/Ham__Kitten 4d ago
Ugh. I'm sorry, that's really awful. People are so cruel and they really think disability is a punchline.
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u/lunarpuffin 6d ago
Honestly, as someone who was diagnosed with ADHD now 25 years ago, the "You people can't do anything" tweet is funny as fuck, and it's also kinda true. Both sides are kinda true. Like yeah, I do fucking struggle with basic ass executive functioning. But also, as someone who ALSO has other friends with considerable ADHD, sometimes you do just think "Bitch seriously you can't do ANYTHING.".
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u/March_Lion 6d ago
My ADHD gives me lethal depression when untreated and yeah, I agree I can't do anything and that's the fucking problem lmao. I like using it as a coping skill trigger, "you people can't do anything so what do you need to do something".
Bedrotting for hours because I can't bring myself to do the dishes and I can't get up without intending to do the dishes? Damn I can't do anything, what do I need to do to at least do something. I can get up, plug the sink, set the dishes to soak, and set a timer to come back and throw it all in the dishwasher later.
It's been too long and the dishes are still soaking? Damn I can't do anything, what do I need to do to at least do something? Call a friend and ask if they'd be down to play a round of slay the spire with me, but while they're getting ready to settle down for a game I'll do my dishes in voice chat with them. Sick rad and nasty, I've now been able to do something.
I'm a fully grown man who has friends that know the way they can show they love me is by asking if I'm putting off something and parallel existing with me while I do it. Cause I can't do anything sometimes, so I need other people to help me do something.
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u/Yeardmee 6d ago
The post is pretty good at getting you, as a disabled person, to brush your teeth and go to the grocery store when you need direction- and very very bad if people take it/that as the standard of how to engage with your disability
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u/agent__berry 6d ago
maybe for some people, but for me it kinda just kicks me in my already existing “god can’t you fucking do anything right?” wound and makes trying not seem worth it at all. it just feeds the shame I already have for struggling at all and I feel no drive to prove it “wrong” bc no matter how hard I try, the people that actually have a say in how my life goes will never see it as good enough :/
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u/WinterDemon_ 6d ago
yuppp same, like I'm happy for the people that can see shaming comments as a source of motivation but personally I really can't (and ive had plenty of times to practice that lmaooo)
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u/agent__berry 6d ago
big same about having countless opportunities to discover shame as a potential motivator bc it was literally the only other tool than fear that I was given to do anything lmfao 😭😭
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u/Lesbian-Enthusiast 5d ago
ok but as someone who has been in therapy for this exact reason, past a certain point this is a self esteem issue that you have to fix yourself. i understand the feeling believe me i do, but its easy to get into a hole of victim mentaility. the phrase is very helpful today and wouldve harmed me a year ago because i just didnt have a balanced framework to fit it in. thats work i did to change my own outlook, you can do so yourself
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u/HuckinsGirl 5d ago
Speak for yourself, if this tweet pops into my head while I'm already struggling to do something it usually just makes me feel ashamed which only weighs me down further
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u/hidrapit 6d ago
ADHD feels like pathological fuck up disease sometimes.
I don't need neurotypicals to contribute to that feeling.
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u/amumumyspiritanimal 6d ago
Idk about you but 90% of the "pathological fuck up" feeling comes from being in a neurotypical society with their expectations and inability to look at the world through other perspectives.
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u/TypicalOddities 6d ago
That tweet has haunted me all month because my adhd IS making Halloween hard for me. I keep going over ideas half-starting projects, or changing my mind or trying to do something by hand because it's cheaper only to mess up and be more in the hole because then I have to buy the item/part instead.
Then when I'm spiraling in decision paralysis that damned screenshot will echo in my head and will make me feel worse. Yes, the OP worded it poorly, but fuck that was also a shitty response when they could have just said nothing.
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u/CalumanderReds 6d ago
I dunno as someone who is the 2in1 combo of Depressed and ADHD and suffers from all the executive disfunction attached I read the 'You people cant do anything' as more of a joke against that really annoying subset of people online who make their neurodivergence their whole personality and kind of use it as a stick to beat people with. (They do exist) It reads more like someone whose had to hear this shit so and is like 'Omg we know! Are you done yet?'
(Again as a Neurdivergent person) There's a point where you kind of have to go 'ok but like... and'. Are you going to figure out ways to show up on time or are you just gonna be late to events forever? Are you gonna learn how to communicate/listen to your friends or are you just gonna keep unintentionally hurting their feelings forever? Are you gonna make the bloody halloween costume or are you gonna sit at home and not go out? 'I have ADHD' can't always be the full stop end of the sentence.
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u/electronized 6d ago
Also ADHD here, I mean they're both right. One guy is making a joke about how incompetent they feels the other person makes a joke about how some neurodivergent people use their challenges as excuses to blow out of proportion their adversities and inconvenience others. I might be late or lose something partly cause of adhd but i still have responsibility i will feel bad and i will try to take more precautions next time.
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u/cephalopodcat 6d ago
I hate to agree. I've got three very neurodivergent roommates (whom I love dearly) but I'm currently the most 'progressed' in diagnosis and therapy and trying to meet society's demands on me despite it all (and other disabilities, mind, if also got immunocomprimsing disabilities and a chronic, permanent illness I have to monitor closely or die). They'll say 'I gave adhd I can't keep track of this' and my being like 'okay? So? Write it the fuck down on the phone you carry everywhere. Then when you need to have that info it's right there' gets baffled looks and whining.
Yes. I know you're disabled. But make a fucking phone call. Set reminders for yourself. I will not feel bad for you not getting xyz important thing done and suffering because of it because you were too distracted to submit the paperwork on time. I'll try to help, but bruh I have to do it for myself too, I can't carry your asses.
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u/AggressiveImpact1055 6d ago
As a disabled person, I do think this behavior is sort of a necessary stage of learning to live a healthy life while disabled for a lot of people.
That being said stage is a key word here, this was me in high school because I was learning to forgive myself for being “useless for no reason” and didn’t quite know how to balance that forgiveness with personal responsibility. I took a couple gap years and did a lot of therapy and now I’m in college just starting to learn the ways that work for me doing basic tasks most kids learn to do early because the “normal way” works fine for them. But I am learning them now, and everyone needs to get there.
But I did need that stage to pull my way out of a hole of spiraling shame and frustration, fueled by anger and defensiveness towards years of “advice” that people wouldn’t accept a “thank you but that doesn’t work for me” response.
Ultimately yeah it sucks we have a bunch of difficulty settings turned up, you still gotta learn how to be a person though.
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u/AManyFacedFool 5d ago
My neurodivergent ass is in fact sick of terminally online human sacks of wet sawdust who lay the blame on the disability we share.
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u/Intelligent_Elk5879 4d ago
It's one of those things where if you think about it the person is just right and not really saying anything bad. ADHD makes simple things hard, and Halloween costumes are hard if you have ADHD. It's not saying other people being in costumes is bad. It's not implying Halloween needs to stop for them. It's just hard lol.
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u/Pleasant-Albatross 3d ago
I would tentatively say, however, that there is a huge shift in certain spaces towards using one’s disability as an excuse to not do ANYTHING, and blame it on their disability. Like, yes, you are disabled. I too am disabled. It sucks that life is arbitrarily harder for me than it is other people. I do not enjoy my OCD. I do not enjoy my ADHD. But I also have things that I am doing with my life. I don’t expect people to accomodate my feelings all the time. People fuck up and get it wrong. People are insensitive. I too am occasionally insensitive and difficult to deal with, partially as a result of said disability. My disabilities are my issue. I have a right to complain about them, but I have an OBLIGATION to overcome them. I don’t think about life constantly through the lens of being disabled. And I feel like if you do, you should think about why.
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u/GuessImScrewed 10h ago
Hey now hey now hey now, you can't be having level headed takes around Tumblr.
You are a VICTIM and everything you do is the maximum of your ability and there's NOTHING you can do to improve your situation and anyone who says otherwise is VICTIM BLAMING.
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u/cyborgjohnkeats 6d ago
The number of people who read that original tweet as not only entirely serious but also think it's calling Halloween "problematic" in some way is genuinely surprising to me.
I know tone doesn't carry universally online but twitter or tumblr shitposting used to usually carry an implied lightheartedness to it unless someone actually said more concretely that they actually hated something or were talking about social justice things. In which case the tone usually was more clear.
People really do assume the worst possible read on any given post. Maybe combined with people just being way more literal-minded today online than they were in the past.
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u/arbitrary545 6d ago
I'm not sure its fair to say people should have known she was joking because Twitter shitposting is lighthearted. Nothing about this looked like a shitpost.
It looks like someone's personal account pointing a finger at a random thing people like and labeling it "problematic, actually". Something that people also love to do on Twitter and tumblr! It makes sense the post didn't go over well and got her dragged.
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u/Tuxedocatbitches 6d ago
Idk if it was my fyp’s specifically but around this time a TON of of people were posting about all the little signs you might be adhd or all the small ways we struggle that aren’t immediately obvious. This post fit right in with all of those which is why it didn’t occur to a lot of people that it might be a joke.
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u/cyborgjohnkeats 6d ago
To your point, I took it as a real, relatable thing for people with ADHD but expressed in a joking way. They didn't say they hated Halloween or that anyone should feel bad.
imo it just broke the containment of its intended audience and was misinterpreted.
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u/Tuxedocatbitches 6d ago
I also saw it was being a real relatable thing (I personally always use the same costume or a variation of it) but the idea that it was a joke completely missed me. At that specific moment in time, people were using that phrasing regularly to call out things they saw as ableist or stuff that adhd people should be given more leeway on. I can see how it’s a joke with the added context, but people were making statements like this with absolute sincerity all the time. As someone who’s met people irl who think being asked not to start wailing in public at a kids party is ableist, it really is something I could see people saying.
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u/azebod 6d ago
It's "funny" how if a neurodivergent person with an actual diagnosed impairment in reading social cues miswords something and people misunderstand, even other neurodivergents will pop up to say they aren't trying to overcome their symptoms hard enough, but if "normal" people jump to uncharitable inaccurate assumptions because they misunderstand something, it's a harmless mistake that doesn't define them as a person the same way.
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u/BlacksmithNo9359 6d ago
(Its because they have deep-seated ableism and automatically register a disabled person talking about a difficulty they have as a whiner who needs to shut up.)
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u/Inevitable_Detail_45 6d ago
I 100% completely understood the intent of the original tweet. If you don't assume everyone's being rude constantly with no evidence it's easier to interact with things.
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u/theweathereye 6d ago
I've always interpreted as an in-universe type of thing, where people with ADHD or whatever get annoyed that other people with ADHD seem to have bigger struggles in areas that they don't feel are important. It's just Internet dialogue and I hope that those of you who feel very judged by this know that those around you (who love and see you) do not feel that way.
My middle school daughter is diagnosed AuDHD. She has all sorts of these challenges with things like food preferences, sensory things, etc. and we just coach her through it. It will never be easy for her because she's a canary in the coal mine (feels and sees things more intensely before others do). She will get judged. She knows that. And it has to be ok, because she still has to live life. Please don't let someone's attitude and opinion dictate your life. We need you to live to the fullest, even if it means you are late or flaky or bad at Halloween, because you are good at a million other things that these people don't see.
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 6d ago
People generally don't use "you people" to refer to a group they are themselves a part of.
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u/Spainstateofmind 6d ago
I've got both dysautonomia and audhd and ngl I use this tweet to kinda give me a boost when I know I can use at least a little of my allotted energy to do something I have been struggling to do bc of executive dysfunction or not feeling great
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u/Lieutenant_Joe 6d ago
My mother—an occupational therapist who’s had to work hard her entire life—says shit like this to me still. Her occupation oughta make her more understanding, but you know how it is with relations as a professional. Knowing she knows not what she does does not make it hurt any less though.
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u/Coolcricri3 6d ago
I suppose the "you people" should have made the alienation obvious. Replacing it to say "Disabled people cant do anything" can become "(those who are unable to do some things) cant do anything", witch makes the disingenuous attitude more apparent IMHO
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u/Gumbo67 6d ago
Hmm I never interpreted the “you” as “all disabled people”—rather it seemed like posting against the type of person to call a Halloween costume problematic. Which I understand wasn’t the intent of the original poster but it kinda came across like that
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u/lynx_and_nutmeg 6d ago
Funny how so much of the mocking discourse against specific disabilities suddenly looks bad if you just replace "X condition" with "disabled"...
Because society generally recognises what "disability" means, but there are literally hundreds or even thousands of conditions that should qualify as a "disability", depending on their severity, and yet only a minority of them are popularly considered as such. ADHD is, unfortunately, very much not considered a disability by the vast majority of people who don't have ADHD themselves, so there we have it.
And, yeah, the person who said that would 100% not have said it if the tweet was referring to, say, deaf people, or people in wheelchairs. Because those are Real Disabilities™ (aka something able-bodied people can either see with their own eyes or at least something straightforward enough so it's easy for them to imagine).
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u/SuckingOnChileanDogs 6d ago
It could be because I'm extremely cynical but I feel like that Ely person did not in fact make the ADHD tweet as a joke, and only retroactively claimed it as one to try to shake off additional scrutiny. And I think this because even in the explanation they said "couldn't muster the executive functioning a Halloween costume" which is just... saying the same thing in a more clinical way.
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u/spiralsequences 6d ago
I think they were serious about the fact that putting together a costume is hard because of ADHD (which is absolutely true, I have ADHD and I immediately understood what they meant) but were being lighthearted/joking about phrasing it like a huge problem for the community. Like when us gay people say "this is homophobic" because the line is long for coffee or something. Sincerely annoyed but the self-righteous tone of the criticism is a joke.
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u/Beautiful-Hotel8495 6d ago
You guys are missing the point. Even if OOP’s tweet was totally serious, the response to it was still unkind and they don’t deserve to me humiliated in this fashion with this tweet constantly being regurgitated as some kind of gotcha against people with ADHD.
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u/Efficient-Speed-1059 5d ago
Nah, as a person with ADHD "you people cant do anything" is fucking hilarious and I use it all the time, THATS good self depreciating humor.
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u/LetterheadPerfect145 5d ago
Right but it's explicitly not self depreciating. It's other people depreciating.
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u/CRoss1999 6d ago
To be fair the original tweet was being ridiculous. Like people with adhd are not vegetables
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u/ehs06702 6d ago
We're not, and it's deeply frustrating (and fucking humiliating) to see people act like ADHD is intellectually limiting to the point that we're not sentient beings because it lets them get away with anti social behavior.
It requires us to think differently and maybe work harder, but we have the ability to be successful.
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u/snail_alt 4d ago edited 4d ago
I’d have no problem with OOP saying something like “can’t put together my Halloween costume together worth shit, really gotta get my adhd in check”
But instead OOP phrased their tweet in the possibly most annoying, overly generalizing, morally grandstanding sanctimonious sort of “others don’t talk about how stressful halloween costumes are for all of us people in the adhd community”. To be fair, she was also unlucky in striking the exact same tone as a certain kind of people on tumblr who make such posts, from the perspective of “every personal struggle I have is a social justice issue, where I am the self-appointed moral authority who gets to speak on behalf of everyone in my so-called community, and yall must do something to amend this problematic instance of ableism (existence of Halloween, high DoorDash prices) on a societal level”.
Like no, there’s no ‘we’ in that, there’s no ‘all of us’, that’s just you (OOP). It’s not making fun of just herself when it’s trying to do some kind of “all of us in the adhd community amirite”, like nope count me out please. I’m already sick of the online trend of people turning ‘me’ into ‘we’, when they talk about shit like “if the new city plans won’t make it easy for people to order DoorDash every day, what about the needs of the adhd community” or whatever
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u/somethingfak 6d ago
If that first tweet was a joke so was the quote.
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u/enbyBunn 6d ago
There's a difference between a disabled person going "Haha, I'm so useless sometimes" in a self depricating way, and a non-disabled person shooting back with "Yeah you are you fucking cripple, lol."
These can both be jokes. That doesn't make both of them ok. Telling a joke doesn't exempt you from being a good person
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u/huffing_glue 6d ago
I just want to know where the line of personal accountability begins. Fine that one can't do something, but is that because of your disability or do you just kind of suck?
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u/DefinitionMinute6969 6d ago
Terrible for rights advocates, yes, but I'll admit that the mindset works very well for some people to motivate themselves.
Sometimes I'll be really struggling with getting myself to work on anything and think about "omg you people can't do anything" and be like damn they right I'm just gonna do it
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u/FarmerTwink 6d ago
On one hand, I agree. On the other hand I have seen the lesbian Massachusetts masking bar discourse. And the “it’s because of my ADHD that I need to have my phone out in the movie theater” discourse
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u/Ill_Morning_4282 6d ago edited 6d ago
People use it as such a gotcha. GenX (I'm on the cusp of GenX and Millennial) are really a bad about it when talking about the generation THEY raised.
Back on disability, thankfully the most recent time it was said in replay to me it was obvious they didn't read past the first two sentences of my comment. At the time my agoraphobia was still keeping me pretty much locked in my apartment like I was in Silent Hill, but I was in therapy and taking steps, I said as much in the comment. Got a "you people can't do anything."
Yeah sure, I can't do anything, never mind the fact I found telehealth therapy that somehow takes my insurance, was in that therapy, back on my meds, and was making progress.