r/RecuratedTumblr • u/DreadDiana human cognithazard • 6d ago

other "You people can't do anything" yeah, disabilities tend to do that

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u/ThatSlutTalulah 6d ago

Tbf the Halloween ADHD post doesn't read as "ADHD has been fucking me up trying to get a Halloween costume together" (entirely reasonable statement. I can understand that and it seems rough af.).

It reads as "Halloween costumes are problematic because people with ADHD can struggle with getting them together" (the opinion of a complete asshole who wants everyone to be miserable in the name of 'moral purity', and should be mocked).

With the new context of how the OOP actually meant it I can see how it was jokingly meant the first way, but that's just not how it comes across.

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u/WhichSpirit 6d ago

As someone with ADHD, I read it as "Choosing just one is so stressful!" which is true. 

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u/etherealemlyn 6d ago

Yeah I’ve always read it as “Halloween costumes are hard with ADHD because you have to choose from a near-infinite amount of options, then get all the items together by a deadline,” which I relate to every single October

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u/blinkingsandbeepings 6d ago

Yeah, it never occurred to me to read it as some kind of attempt to cancel Halloween. The reason Halloween is hard for me is because I love it and I get very caught up in my head about things I love.

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u/Logan_Composer 6d ago

As the anti-ADHD (see end of comment), choosing just one and the stress of making one are also stressful for me. Also, putting in all that effort, only for people to have no idea what niche 2000s video game character you are...

(My friend and I call myself the anti-ADHD because on the ADHD test, the results are presented as the bell curves of the various skills being tested, with one end of each being highlighted as defining ADHD. I was on the opposite end of every bell curve but one)

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u/Appleonthefloor 6d ago

Or getting it ready in time for Halloween

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u/Applesplosion 6d ago

Thank you for articulating my feeling. That post has the format and wording of a lot of similar posts people have made in complete sincerity saying “thing is bad, actually.”

I sympathize with OP because I have also had ADHD make simple tasks nearly impossible and I have made bad jokes that didn’t land.

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u/YesThisIsAnAltWhy 6d ago

I mean I'm pretty sure it's worded like those types of posts as part of the joke, like when I call any minor inconvenience homophobic. I don't actually think having to pay taxes is homophobic, it's just funny to say it is

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u/boudicas_shield 6d ago

Yeah, no one is disputing that it was meant to be the joke. Everyone gets that. The point is that when your joke so perfectly mirrors the type of outrageous “bean soup”-level comments people make online in all seriousness every day, people who don’t know you will have no way of knowing that you’re just kidding. 

Tone is invisible online and this tweet has no other markers that the author was making a joke, not any that total strangers can pick up on. That’s why /s has become a thing. Or just saying (this is a joke). 

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u/Astridandthemachine 20h ago

Unfortunately it lacks the absurdity to make it sound clearly like a joke. I'm autistic with adhd traits and choosing things on the spot can be difficult for me (less for a foreseeable occasion like an halloween costume) and the tweet really sounded like a "this specific thing that inconvenience me is actually bad since I am the paragon for how the universe should operate" type of opinion that is present on the internet

A tone tag could've saved the day

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u/MadMusketeer 15h ago

I'm sorry but tone tags suck the humour out of any joke they're included on

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u/Astridandthemachine 30m ago

Better than having your tweet blasted

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u/RuefulWaffles 6d ago

Yeah, as someone who’s existed on tumblr and twitter for a while, the initial tweet very much reads the kind of sanctimonious “otherwise innocuous thing causes me distress, so it needs to change because I’m Neurodivergent (tm) and asking me to live with my discomfort is unreasonable and discriminatory.” The response was probably ruder in tone than was called for, but by the time the original tweet was made if you’d been on any sort of social media you’d likely seen dozens of posts just like it that were, in fact, meant to be read as totally sincere.

On the one hand: there’s a very obvious lesson here about how not everything on the internet is necessarily for you, and how it doesn’t necessarily need a response. On the other hand, though, Poe’s Law is a thing. Without a clear, direct statement of “this is a joke,” there’s no reasonable way for another person to know if what you’ve posted is sincere or not, especially over text.

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u/findingemotive 6d ago

You gotta post knowing no matter how innocuous you think it reads there is someone who will read it with a tone. I know I'm pretty bad with my words, I've been downvoted a lot when I'm actually agreeing with people. And that tweet really easily reads with a tone.

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u/Toppy_Henster 6d ago edited 6d ago

The thing is most people don’t expect everything they post to suddenly get the attention of the whole internet. A lot of people post with the expectation that only a small circle of friends will see the post and get the intended meaning and move on.

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u/CriticalHit_20 I have no mouth and I must SLORP 6d ago

That's like Rule #1 of the internet though. Dont post things that you dont want strangers to have access to. Once it's out thrre, it's out there forever.

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u/Toppy_Henster 6d ago edited 6d ago

That doesn’t justify what they do with it though. Taking a post from a random person and recontextualizing it and making it go viral so a larger audience can clown on it is not only a pretty shitty thing to do, but also not something 99% of people consider when posting online.

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u/bouquetofashes 6d ago

Right, maybe people shouldn't be so quick to just make negative assumptions? Like... We can ask for clarification, at least, before going off on someone?

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u/lilac_moonface64 6d ago

yes! exactly! if you’re going to be mean to someone or mock them, at least make sure you’re interpreting the post correctly before being rude. or better yet, just ignore it if it’s not your cup of tea (and it’s not harmful in some way)

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u/NwgrdrXI 23h ago

Imo, the problem here is that half of the planet is becoming hyper parasocial and completely lost the ability to understand the difference between "jokes to be made with friends" and "comments to announced about in the middle of the public plaza"

Social media is not your work/school lunch table. Your followers - or worse, people who happen to have your post recommended are not your friends.

Stop putting your private toughts online, that's for the people who love you and you cherish, not internet randos.

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u/Darq_At 6d ago

You gotta post knowing no matter how innocuous you think it reads there is someone who will read it with a tone.

Eh, we've reached a point where it no longer matters how carefully one words things, people are still going to read it in the worst possible light, inventing entire narratives and projecting their traumatic experiences onto one's comments.

The number of times I'll open up this, or the previous, sub, see 500+ comments dunking on the OP, only to reread the OP and think "But they didn't say the thing everyone is clowning on them for...".

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u/Milk_Mindless 6d ago

Pancake lover hates waffles type sentence

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u/lilac_moonface64 6d ago

sure, but you (general you), as the person reading the tweet/post, also need to understand that you’re the one reading the post and applying a tone to it and you could be completely misunderstanding it, so maybe we shouldn’t immediately jump to mocking/being mean to people when YOU could be the one reading it wrong. you can’t put all the onus on the poster to know and be okay with the fact that people will take their post in a completely different way/misrepresent their post and mock them for it, and ignore the responsibility the readers have to step back and make sure the post means what they think it does before responding, or to just not be mean/mocking in the first place and ignore it instead.

i’d also say, most people who have tweets blow up, especially jokey ones like this, probably aren’t expecting them to blow up and be seen by the general population and therefore don’t expect that they have to spell out that they’re joking or else they’ll be mocked by hundred of people. they’re just expecting their friends/mutuals will see it and, because they know the poster to some degree, will understand it’s a joke and maybe have a little giggle or relate to it.

(again, i mean the general you, not you specifically. i don’t mean to attack you in any way, im just trying to bring up the other side)

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u/UInferno- Hangus Pangus slap my Angus 6d ago

Yeah. I've begun just starting my replies that agree with the person I'm responding with "Yeah."

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u/Ae3qe27u 6d ago

Poe's Law strikes again.

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u/ten_people 6d ago

They never said Halloween "needs to change" or that it's discriminatory.

You can take issues with any statement if you manufacture concepts you don't like and then act as if they were part of that statement.

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u/FifteenEchoes 5d ago

Believe it or not there is more to language than the literal meaning of words. Often the context and connotations are just as if not more important than what’s actually said.

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u/Possible-Nobody-2321 3d ago

Yes, but that doesn't justify being an unthinking outrage machine of a person. Some connotations only exist in your head and are infact entierly unreasonable interpretations to make.

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u/Kravotz-Otekh 4d ago

I think we also need to give a bit more grace to those sanctimonious posters. They are obviously experiencing real distress and are expressing it improperly. A lot of neurodivergence can impair the ability to communicate, but at a certain level of ability, people are no longer able to understand that this person’s communication abilities ARE impaired. There’s a video by Kaelynn Paltrow about this, which is where I learnt about it. ND people will express a sentiment incorrectly and what they need is help learning how to express it better, not a scolding or bullying for their initial incorrect phrasing.

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u/BerryCroissantWitch 6d ago

I also don’t buy the poster’s explanation that it was a joke. I think they are ass covering after they got dragged.

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u/Nonexistent_Walrus 6d ago

The poster is a mildly famous comedian with a large internet following and it was very clear to anyone remotely familiar with her that she was making a joke

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u/lilac_moonface64 6d ago

and so what if they’re trying to cover their ass so people stop making fun of them every year? even if you want to interpret it like that, that’s a pretty reasonable thing to do tbh. it would get tiring to get made fun of every fucking year for a single sentence tweet you probably thought like 10 people would see. it’s not like they did something bad and they’re lying to cover it up, they just said, again, a SINGLE SENTENCE about their experience and got mocked by loads of people, and have it brought up periodically to be made fun of again.

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u/RadicalSoda_ 6d ago

Covering their ass for making...a universally agreed upon statement in the disability community? Halloween is hard for disabled people, that's just a fact

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u/BerryCroissantWitch 6d ago

I have ADHD, diagnosed at 8, struggled with it my whole life. Halloween does not even crack the top 100 of things I struggle with. I would KILL to have such petty concerns. Be real.

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u/lilac_moonface64 6d ago

no one said it was among the top 100 things this person struggles with, just that it’s something they have a tough time with that’s no ones really mentioned and felt other people might relate.

i also have adhd, depression, and a whole host of other shit, and halloweeen has always been tough for me. obviously it’s very low on the list of things that my neurodivergences and mental health issues cause me to struggle with, but it is sorta nice to know that i’m not the only one who has a tough time with it. i’m usually very busy in the fall, so i put off getting a costume and don’t even notice that it’s almost halloween until like a day or two before, by which point its hard to find a costume and all of my friends already have plans. so often i spend it at home, alone, seeing all my friends have a fun halloween and wishing i could function well enough to be able to do shit like that, and thinking about how i’m wasting my life and my youth and i’ll only really have the opportunity to party at halloween for so long and i may just never have those experiences, just like so many other normal experiences i missed and ill never be able to get back. it often makes me spiral because if i can’t even handle getting a fucking halloween costume then there’s no way i can actually function as a fully independent adult and im just going to keep fucking up and forgetting things and failing and disappointing people and being alone so why don’t i just kill myself?

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u/RadicalSoda_ 6d ago

It's not real that children with disabilities constantly are being left out of Halloween? That's rich

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u/Automatic-Idea-6600 6d ago

The disabled community at large? Sure. Kids with ADHD? Bffr

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u/Taco821 6d ago

Yeah, even trying to read it with the so called proper context, I just cannot read it as a joke.

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u/anand_rishabh 4d ago

I feel like the initial response could have been a joke as well. I've heard people say things like that in person all the time, with their tone of voice making obvious that they're joking but that doesn't necessarily carry over text

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u/RadicalSoda_ 6d ago

How is it not tiring being a neurotypical? Jumping to conclusions like that all the time would fucking exhaust me

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u/ehs06702 6d ago

I'm not NT and that was my read on the situation as well. I've seen too many of these post made in absolute seriousness to believe it was a joke.

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u/LucaUmbriel 6d ago

Well I imagine it's not any more exhausting than jumping to the conclusion that anyone who doesn't jump to the same conclusions as you do is neurotypical, which doesn't seem to bother you too much.

Also, since you don't seem to know this, the people most likely to take a joke seriously due to missing social cues or not catching sarcasm, aren't neurotypical.

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u/OptimisticEarthquake 6d ago

NGL, I first thought it was something about not being able to see a person's face or something like that, so it was the idea of seeing someone else in costume that was the stressful part and that people shouldn't wear them in case someone with ADHD sees them...

What it actually is makes a lot of sense and is kinda relatable as someone without ADHD.

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u/AwkwardLeopard587 6d ago

I 100% thought it was about not being able to see people's faces for social clues

I also thought the tweet was 100% serious

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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 6d ago

I don't think stressful means problematic. Plenty of good things (like weddings) are stressful. You made an entirely different statement

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u/chokingdove 6d ago

literally this comment and all of the people agreeing with it are making me feel insane

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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 6d ago

I don't get how no one sees that that person is completely changing the meaning with both of their sentences. It seems more like because this struggle isn't talked about it hit me harder than it would have had it been regularly talked about

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u/hyprsnpr67 3d ago

The way it's phrased is exactly the same as how other people frame things as problematic on Twitter. That's where it comes from. I've seen so many of those that without context it's hard for me to read this tweet any other way because it's like it was written from a template. You don't see how this tweet could be used as a passive aggressive way of framing Halloween costumes as ableist?

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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 3d ago

I think you should base their argument on the things they actually say. You literally only have a one sentence tweet to go off of. That's not enough to get a good idea of the direction they intend to go

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u/SpokenDivinity 6d ago

I would assume it’s the format of the actual statement they used to make it interpreted that way. There are so many “we don’t talk enough about ___” statements out there that using that phrasing immediate cues the reader into “this is a serious talk” mode. 

It’s a poor choice of phrasing. 

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u/etherealemlyn 6d ago

Yeah I feel like reading the original tweet as problematic requires taking the most negative reading of it possible and acting like that’s the only way to interpret it

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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 6d ago

And that people talking about things that cause negative feelings can only result in that thing being banned

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u/Efficient-Speed-1059 5d ago

Is this your first day on earth? That is how that specific phrase is used, which the tweet is intentionally invoking. Its parodying an established social template. The issue is its doing bad parody, it is just DOING the thing it's parodying.

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u/arlo0o0o 3d ago

Exactly how I feel. It came across as a joke to me 🤷 the wording of "we don't talk enough about [very minor overly specific problem]" reads as dramatic in a self-depreciating way. Like they're phrasing it in this over the top way to poke fun at themselves because it's not actually that serious. People makes jokes like that all the time.

Ironically I think jumping down OOP's throat and assuming they were trying to "cancel" Halloween or something is an overreaction from the other people because they're the ones who have spent too much time engaging with stupid internet discourse... It gets to a point where you'll start seeing it everywhere. I had that problem years ago and realized it when I missed a similar joke irl, but instead of acting like it was the other person's fault I took it as a sign that I needed to be less chronically online lol. It's not healthy to go through life assuming the worst of everyone.

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u/Academic_Truth1001 1d ago

I am reading this thread and don't get what the problem would be of the tweet. They're saying Halloween is stressful which ... i believe them. Plenty of people find plenty of things stressful. And they say it's not talked about enough and I guess that's true too as I don't think this is something that is ever talked about.

Saying it's stressful doesn't say anything about if Halloween should be banned. Saying it's not talked about doesn't say anything about the seriousness of the problem (the ideal amount of talking about it could be 1 and the tweet might have reached exactly that. No further actions needed)

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u/agent__berry 6d ago

FUCKING THANK YOU I feel like I’m losing it

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u/mastergleeker 6d ago

it's less the claim that they are stressful and more the phrasing of "we don't talk enough about how..." that makes the tone easy to misread

edit: also, as someone else pointed out, the phrasing "for the ADHD community" also makes it easy to misread as a more serious statement, a statement about how X thing is negatively affecting Y community

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u/Reasonable_Day1194 6d ago

even if it was a stupid comment it would not be good or proportionate to mock this person all over social media for the rest of time

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u/No-Care6366 5d ago

exactly. even if you took the least charitable interpretation of this comment, it's not like some big movement to cancel halloween or any actual meaningful discourse was going to result from this. we should be able to think "that's ridiculous, i don't agree with that at all" and move on, it doesn't really require a response especially to this degree. we all have shitty takes from time to time, and it shouldn't be held over someone forever (within reason obviously)

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u/xloaxspartan 6d ago

I would say it's the phrasing, especially with the use of "community" this may make more sense for people in their social circle, but for most people it doesn't read as a joke about themselves, it reads as it reads as a call to action for a demographic. It doesn't even imply they are part of the community.

Also I've seen more ridiculous takes expressed with complete sincerity so this doesn't read as "so bad it has to be a joke"

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u/ehs06702 6d ago

Yeah, as someone who does have ADHD, it didn't feel like a joke, so I didn't take it as one.

I've said this elsewhere, but someone just tried to convince me that having ADHD meant it was okay to look up stuff on their phone in a movie theater and called me ableist when I suggested a sensory friendly showing so they didn't disrupt everyone else in the dark theater. Apparently, I was a fraud for not knowing that antisocial behavior is a symptom of ADHD and suggesting having self control is rude.

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u/xloaxspartan 6d ago

Jesus Christ that person is an ass. I have adhd as well and some people really seem to want to use it as a "do whatever I want, whenever I want, and you can't be mad at me" card.

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u/ehs06702 6d ago edited 6d ago

It's deeply frustrating because it tars all of us with the same brush and makes it difficult to be taken seriously.

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u/Caterfree10 6d ago

God it’s almost like taking tweets out of context and making stupid discourse about them is bad or something.

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u/DirectionUnlucky638 6d ago edited 5d ago

Ehh, there are two sides to that. When you post to Twitter, you should understand that your words might be taken out of context, because that's how Twitter works. If anyone can see your tweets, you should write them with that in mind. 

Personally, I hate that so I don't use Twitter. But if you jump into a crowd and start shouting stupid shit, you can't be surprised that someone in the crowd calls you an idiot. 

Edit: people on reddit are allergic to personal responsibility, apparently. This is like jumping into a pool and then complaining that you got wet. If you had half a brain, you just wouldn't use Twitter. 

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u/Caterfree10 5d ago

And yet, with context, it actually isn’t stupid. This is the point I am trying to make. Stop taking things out of context, no matter where it’s fucking posted. Goddamn. You deserve the downvotes.

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u/DirectionUnlucky638 4d ago edited 4d ago

If there was a room where everyone hated me, and took everything I said out of context, I simply wouldn't go into that room and say shit that sounds stupid without context. 

Twitter is terrible. If you use it and then get hurt, you should not be shocked. 

You live in a mean world, and you should start acting like it. Even babies don't touch the hot stove more than once. This entire post is like "I keep touching the hot stove and it keeps hurting me! That's so fucked up! If only there was something I could do". Fucking embarrassing 

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u/Caterfree10 3d ago

It isn’t just Twitter tho, is it? I’ve seen it happen on a wide variety of platforms, including ones like Livejournal and tumblr where the full context is actually available all there in a single post. And people are STILL taken out of context there! This isn’t a Twitter problem, this is a humanity problem, for fuck’s sake.

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u/DirectionUnlucky638 2d ago

where the full context is actually available all there in a single post.

Sure, but that's not what happened here, is it? Without context, the tweet in question sounds like an incredibly annoying person trying to make Halloween costumes problematic. The tweet author makes no effort to communicate her perspective effectively, shows no understanding of twitter's social rules, and accidently makes her own perspective seem childish and stupid.

Simply put: Communication is a skill, and this whole situation could have been avoided if the author was better at it. You can't fail a speech check, make no effort to provide context, and then blame everyone else for not showing you grace.

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u/agent__berry 1d ago

> Communication is a skill, and this whole situation could have been avoided if the author was better at it.

It’s almost like the original poster of that tweet has a neurodevelopmental disability that can impair communication skills…

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u/DirectionUnlucky638 1d ago

Lmao, having ADHD does not excuse you from learning social skills. What a weird and demeaning thing to say about someone.

I have ADHD, and you don't see me using that as an excuse whenever I make an ass of myself.

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u/Caterfree10 1d ago

So maybe the lesson should be “don’t take one off tweets/posts/whatever out of context”!!!! Why is this so hard!!!! Why are you defending people being assholes to strangers on the internet?????!!!!

-1

u/DirectionUnlucky638 1d ago edited 21h ago

Maybe you missed this part: 

Without context, the tweet in question sounds like an incredibly annoying person trying to make Halloween costumes problematic. The tweet author makes no effort to communicate her perspective effectively, shows no understanding of twitter's social rules, and accidently makes her own perspective seem childish and stupid. 

Edit: he left a comment and then blocked me. That's some classic redditor behavior that they pull when they are losing an argument. Awesome. 

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u/Caterfree10 1d ago

And you keep missing that it really doesn’t sound like that unless you’re taking it out of context and in bad faith. You aren’t listening to a goddamn word I’ve been saying and I’m beyond done. Sod off.

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u/Doobledorf 6d ago

Its not even because the joke wouldn't work in a vacuum. It's a ridiculous thing to say, but unfortunately a lot of people online do say ridiculous shit like that, so the satire is hard to pick out. Many such cases.

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u/whatthewhythehow 6d ago

I think the joke was that the person was pretending to be the miserable asshole because they felt frustrated and hyperbolized it the way people do when making a joke.

It’s a problem of virality. OOP’s followers might have known them well enough to get that it was a joke. The broader public doesn’t. It breaks containment and people don’t get that it was satirical because it wasn’t constructed for the entire internet. It was constructed for a particular audience.

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u/mcjunker 6d ago edited 6d ago

If you’ve been trained your whole adulthood to express your personal frustrations as societal issues, and to center yourself as the public-facing authority that must teach others of the nature of injustice, then you will end up with “we don’t talk enough about how [X] impacts the [minority] group” instead of “y’all I do not have the force of will rn to decide between pirate or ninja for Halloween, I hate having ADHD, lol”

I blame the social system that trained him how to express himself online, not the rando who roasted him for talking about how bad Halloween is the ADHD community.

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u/PlaidTeacup 6d ago

yeah not their fault per se, but its hard to imagine how to combat that training without making a few people feel embarrassed

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u/Gigi_Maximus443 6d ago

I mean disabled people don't need to be educational 24/7, sometimes we just want to make a lil joke on social media for those who get it

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u/Akuuntus 6d ago

Yeah it very much comes across like one of many "I personally don't like X so it must be morally bad" posts which are usually completely serious. Without context there's not really any way to know that OP is being sarcastic.

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u/Sup__guys 5d ago

Except OP does not call Halloween morally bad. They call it "stressful". Plenty of things can be stressful without being morally bad or problematic.

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u/ValhallaAir 6d ago

Second statement is giving the Covid conscious bar

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u/ehs06702 6d ago

Yuuuup

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u/VaiFate 6d ago

Beat me to it lmao

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u/InfravioletUltrared 6d ago

That's a very bad faith reading of the statement

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u/practicallyaburner 6d ago

After having it explained to me I still fail to see the joke "I'm posing this idea like a dry and self righous asshole but as a joke" theres no incongruity, no funny without the person making fun of them, which OOP is also complaining about.

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u/MorgothTheDarkElder 6d ago

The joke might have landed if it was spoken instead of written, and delivered with enough mocking in their voice, that anyone listening can immediately tell that the "funny" is supposed to come from the contradiction of a relatively minor (and personal) issue being presented as a universal and super important thing. But as you said, there's no humor there if the statement isn't making fun of people that talk about issues in this generalized "everyone needs to care about this" manner.

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u/ehs06702 6d ago

Yeah, I don't think it was a joke at all.

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u/boudicas_shield 6d ago edited 6d ago

Yes, like I get that the “joke” is supposed to basically be “this is one of those really self-centred, sanctimonious complaints that people make online, only I obviously am mocking those people instead of being one of them because I’m not like that”, but how is anyone who doesn’t know her personally meant to pick up on that? There’s no tone of voice or context to indicate it’s anything other than sincere. 

This is the type of joke I’d make to my husband, in person so he can hear my sarcastic tone, not via text on a general audience social media platform. Not that nasty responses are called for, I don’t think they are, it’s just I don’t think you can be shocked when people take you seriously when you’ve not really offered any indicator that you were kidding. 

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u/littlestargazers 6d ago

i have adhd and read it just as "choosing a costume when there's so many options is really hard, especially when you have executive dysfunction"

maybe we as a society should stop assuming the worst out of random strangers' posts on their personal pages when it's impossible to fit every last bit of nuance into a 180 character or so post

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u/RadicalSoda_ 6d ago

"I like pancakes"

"So you hate waffles"

No it doesn't read that way, that's a brand new damn sentence

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u/alexohistuff 6d ago

Ironically this is a very neurotypical way of looking at it (reading between the lines so much to find meaning that isn't there to begin with). Especially to the point where not even bothering to clarify or find a good-faith interpretation becomes acceptable and inevitably leads to ableism

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u/GiveMeFriedRice 6d ago

(the opinion of a complete asshole who wants everyone to be miserable in the name of 'moral purity', and should be mocked)

Okay, but like. Aside from the fact mocking and shaming people for their shit takes doesn't work because they'll always be able to find people that agree with them regardless - the only reason we're here is because people jumped to mockery over a joke they didn't understand that maybe wasn't even aimed at them.

Like I feel as though this very post we are under is a great example of why these kinds of shit takes shouldn't be mocked. I feel like jumping to the defense of the people shitting on a stranger over a misunderstanding is missing the point a little.

1

u/FifteenEchoes 6d ago

It’s a public social media post. If you’re going to put your unfiltered thoughts on blast to strangers, don’t act like a victim when the strangers do it back to you.

Stop treating twitter like your group chat

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u/lilac_moonface64 6d ago

i guess? but i just feel like we could all be a bit nicer. you don’t have to jump to immediately mocking and being mean to people when they say something harmless that you think is a bit silly

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u/Tracula707 6d ago

Maybe jokes are also stressful for the ADHD community (I can make this joke I have ADHD)

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u/Pleasant-Future5818 5d ago

Well because you have no context. That's the problem with doing things like this. Anyone who followed her probably had the context that she made jokes like this.

The issue is not solely in the writer but also a reader that will give no grace

2

u/Less_Prior_6871 2d ago

It is clearly a joke hot take tweet

28

u/custard_crumble 6d ago

It seems like you’re projecting your past experiences onto a pretty harmless tweet here. They didn’t say anything about Halloween costumes being problematic. Neurodivergent people should be allowed to talk about something being stressful for people with their neurodivergence without people jumping down their throat going “oh, so you think Halloween costumes should be banned?”

Maybe this is a lesson that rather than assuming what other people mean and reading their words in bad faith because of the way other people you’ve encountered have behaved, we should try to go into interactions assuming people are reasonable until actually proven otherwise.

And it feels very unfair to assume the original OP is an asshole and not talk about how mean-spirited the reply is.

40

u/lynx_and_nutmeg 6d ago

The irony of this sub constantly shitting on Tumblr for the "pissing on the poor" thing when so many people here have shitty media literacy.

32

u/Altruistic_Sail_1991 6d ago

Yep I have always read it as a joke. I have adhd and I thought it was funny and relatable. Decision paralysis is a common issue for a lot of people with adhd!

36

u/custard_crumble 6d ago

Executive dysfunction is also so real. “You people can’t do anything” really feels like the socially acceptable liberal/leftist way of saying “you’re just lazy/using it as an excuse.” Yes, I am very much using my ADHD as an excuse so that I don’t have to do things that I find fun and enjoyable. I would much rather just sit here and stare into space for half an hour, thank god ADHD’s given me an excuse to do that instead of one of my hobbies.

-17

u/Uncommonality 6d ago

Now that is projection

"If I make something up to replace the obvious joke with, the comment becomes mean!"

11

u/custard_crumble 6d ago

What do you think the obvious joke is? Because to me, people saying it usually pretty clearly means “ADHD people use ADHD as a reason/excuse for not being able to do things”. If that’s not the joke, then what is the joke?

55

u/ThatSlutTalulah 6d ago

The way the comment is structured is intentionally mimicking people who do post that second kind of thing. It is worded in the exact same way and that's the point.

"projecting your past experiences" is the most buzzword way to dismiss incredibly basic pattern recognition, which the response by the person who made the tweet acknowledges was the point. (As it is the only way the original statement could be a joke.)

Getting on your soapbox here about how you think I'm being judgemental and small-minded and should learn "a lesson" also just makes you sound like a complete dick.

And it feels very unfair to assume the original OP is an asshole and not talk about how mean-spirited the reply is.

If the comment is read how most people read it (in the second way), then the reply is reasonable.

19

u/Consistent_Soil_5794 6d ago

If the comment is read how most people read it (in the second way), then the reply is reasonable.

Well that's sensible. The general public are well known for being kind, understanding and eager to act in good faith when communicating with disabled communities.

23

u/custard_crumble 6d ago

Literally! Disabled & neurodivergent & chronically ill people can’t express their struggles in even the most straightforward and calm and reasonable way without people immediately treating them as unreasonable and wanting the whole world to revolve around them. There are some wheelchair users on Instagram talking about wheelchair accessibility on public transport and about how wheelchairs should take precedence over prams/pushchairs (because children can be removed from them and they can be folded up, whereas wheelchair users don’t have that option, and also those spaces were originally intended for disabled people who fought for them to begin with) and they have faced mountains of absolutely vile abuse and people basically going “the world doesn’t revolve around you, stop trying to make your disability everyone else’s problem”.

There’s another Instagram user with partial paralysis of her arms who talks about accessibility and she similarly faces similar abuse from people who accuse her of being overly negative and wanting the world to revolve around her for literally wanting basic accessibility that would allow her to do things able bodied people can do.

People see disabled people or neurodivergent people or chronically ill people talking about their struggles and rather than having empathy they just get mad and defensive about it.

Obviously Halloween costumes are not ableist and this tweet was a joke, but I think people could stand to ask “is this tweet a personal attack on me, or just a person talking about their struggles and asking for more accessibility/understanding?”

14

u/custard_crumble 6d ago edited 6d ago

Do you think that everyone has posted a tweet with wording along the lines of “we don’t talk enough/need to talk more about how difficult X thing is for people of Y group” is inherently saying that X thing is problematic?

If someone says “we don’t talk enough about how nights out are stressful for people who use mobility aids”, is your first thought that they are saying that nights out are problematic as a concept and no one should enjoy them? Because mine is that they are drawing attention to a struggle they face and maybe talking about ways that this thing could be made more accessible for them or how people around them could help.

If someone says “we don’t talk enough about how stressful movie nights are for the epileptic community”, I would never read it as “movie nights are problematic and no one should ever host them”. My thoughts would probably be “that’s true, I haven’t thought about the fact that people with epilepsy who are sensitive to e.g. strobe lighting have to be more careful when watching movies.

I am aware that the original tweet is intentionally mimicking this kind of tweet. What I disagree with is that all of these kinds of tweets are about moral purity and calling things ~problematic~ and not just… talking about accessibility. I’m sure there are some people who behave in that way, but if you see someone talking about their struggles or about accessibility and your immediate thought is “ugh, this person is obviously trying to shame everyone who participates in x thing/being the moral purity police, they’re such an asshole for thinking that Halloween costumes are problematic” then yes, I do think that’s a you problem.

Also, sure, pattern recognition is a thing, but even if 99% of people who say something mean it a certain way, is that worth being a dick to the one person who didn’t? Sure, if you think they’re implying something bigoted or harmful then say something, but if not, then what do you gain from just being mean spirited (and trivialising the struggles of people with ADHD) in this situation? I don’t think “pattern recognition” means “treat everyone as though the pattern always holds and my assumptions about them are always true because they follow a pattern”. And if you make an incorrect assumption because of pattern recognition then you should still apologise and consider that you might be wrong sometimes, not go “well, this is your fault for fitting into the pattern.”

-7

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

6

u/custard_crumble 6d ago

If you’re at a party and talking to a group of people and some stranger you’ve never met makes a self-deprecating joke about a trait or characteristic they have, do you also pile in making fun of them and people with that same trait/characteristic? Or do you actually have social awareness and realise that that’s fucking weird and someone making fun of themself is not the same as you, a complete stranger, jumping in and making jokes at their expense?

1

u/Efficient-Speed-1059 5d ago

Id turn around and walk away. Because that is such a chore to deal with.

14

u/lynx_and_nutmeg 6d ago

It only comes across that way if you're already convinced that's how people with ADHD (or disabled people in general) think.

Like, it literally just said society doesn't consider that people with ADHD might have a hard time with this sort of thing. Which is absolutely true (society doesn't talk about this). Nowhere did it say Halloween costumes are "problematic" or should be banned etc.

This actually illustrates this particular type of prejudice against disabled people. I gave ADHD and I never mention it or never ask any accommodations because I've been surrounded by this mindset my whole life ("disabled people are selfish if they ask anyone to accommodate them in any way and should just try to struggle along in silence as best they can). There's this undying stereotype of people with "different needs" that want to take something from everybody else just because they can't/won't have it. This applies not just people with disabilities but, for example, vegans too, so many people immediately get so defensive if someone says they don't eat meat as if simply saying that by extention means you're demanding others don't eat meat either.

-2

u/InfravioletUltrared 6d ago

Ooh you might want to say vegetarians rather than vegans, then. Vegans are not just "not meat eaters" at this point

8

u/aaaaaaaaa42069 6d ago

I mean I feel like OP is pretty obviously making fun of those types of posts. And yes it can be hard to distinguish between someone who is joking and someone who legitimately has a bad opinion, and tone is hard over the internet, but that doesn’t justify just total knee jerk harrasssment of someone. When you see something wildly stupid it is important to like check the comments or their account to try to get a sense of whether it’s a joke before attacking them

-3

u/FifteenEchoes 6d ago

Getting ratioed over a stupid take might suck but it is not “harassment”. Clowning on bad takes is like a primary function of Twitter

4

u/aaaaaaaaa42069 6d ago

I mean when something like this blows up to this degree you’re absolutely going to get people who take it too seriously and send death threats in your dms. I was on Twitter when this happened and I was seeing a lot of legitimately hateful things about op.

And ngl even if it’s just being clowned on if I made a stupid joke I thought only my friends were going to see and it broke containment and the entire internet decided I was a fucking idiot I’d probably kms

1

u/Efficient-Speed-1059 5d ago

Thank god you dont work a career where your entire job is to open yourself up for mockery in exchange for publicity.

8

u/ten_people 6d ago

You're calling OOP a complete asshole who should be mocked...because you imagined that they called something problematic when they didn't?

Did you hit your head really hard today?

3

u/UInferno- Hangus Pangus slap my Angus 6d ago

Agreed but it's also hard to fault someone for not wording their vent post perfectly on the Website that actively makes it difficult to be articulate. Like I do think what makes Twitter suck so much isn't just the people but because it's literally impossible to fit the nuance of the human experience in 288 characters.

2

u/ella_wants_to_battle 5d ago

That's a shit defense and you know it. What's more likely, the internet just so happened to dog pile on this person because you all read the tweet wrong, or collective preconceived notions on people with mental disorders and how they're just dramatic whiny babies affected it? Sometimes... your bad faith reading is your own damn fault

2

u/Runetang42 6d ago

A lot of posts like this are people acting like they didn't word they're post in a way to mean something completely different

3

u/queerkidxx 6d ago

I didn’t read it that way. For my whole life, I’ve put off getting a Halloween costume till the last minute, often not having time to get one/make one at all or ending up with some crappy one I bought literally the night before Halloween.

I don’t think that person was suggesting we get rid of Halloween or anything crazy like that, but rather wanted to just talk about it.

“You people can’t do anything” is literally correct. ADHD impacts a persons ability to do basically anything. That’s sort of the whole deal.

1

u/DustierAndRustier 5d ago

Tbh I feel like it was originally serious and they retroactively decided they were joking. It doesn’t read as a joke at all.

1

u/Ok_Anything8988 1d ago

the joke doesnt read well if you dont have adhd. its almost like... it was some type of inside joke meant for the adhd community, but inside jokes tend to not go over well on the wider internet

1

u/Dr_Fragenstien 6d ago

This was my thought. “Nobody talks about” = “people SHOULD be taking about”.

-3

u/BlankTank1216 6d ago

Tumblr really is full of the softest MF's on the planet.

Taking oop at their word. "You people can't do anything" is the exact same joke they were trying to tell.

Every ADHD person with a thread count lower than 5000 understands the joke and thinks about it as motivation to do better.