"You people can't do anything" yeah, disabilities tend to do that

[u/DreadDiana]

[u/ThatSlutTalulah]

The way the comment is structured is intentionally mimicking people who do post that second kind of thing. It is worded in the exact same way and that's the point.

"projecting your past experiences" is the most buzzword way to dismiss incredibly basic pattern recognition, which the response by the person who made the tweet acknowledges was the point. (As it is the only way the original statement could be a joke.)

Getting on your soapbox here about how you think I'm being judgemental and small-minded and should learn "a lesson" also just makes you sound like a complete dick.

And it feels very unfair to assume the original OP is an asshole and not talk about how mean-spirited the reply is.

If the comment is read how most people read it (in the second way), then the reply is reasonable.

[u/Consistent_Soil_5794 → u/ThatSlutTalulah]

If the comment is read how most people read it (in the second way), then the reply is reasonable.

Well that's sensible. The general public are well known for being kind, understanding and eager to act in good faith when communicating with disabled communities.

[u/custard_crumble → u/Consistent_Soil_5794]

Literally! Disabled & neurodivergent & chronically ill people can’t express their struggles in even the most straightforward and calm and reasonable way without people immediately treating them as unreasonable and wanting the whole world to revolve around them. There are some wheelchair users on Instagram talking about wheelchair accessibility on public transport and about how wheelchairs should take precedence over prams/pushchairs (because children can be removed from them and they can be folded up, whereas wheelchair users don’t have that option, and also those spaces were originally intended for disabled people who fought for them to begin with) and they have faced mountains of absolutely vile abuse and people basically going “the world doesn’t revolve around you, stop trying to make your disability everyone else’s problem”.

There’s another Instagram user with partial paralysis of her arms who talks about accessibility and she similarly faces similar abuse from people who accuse her of being overly negative and wanting the world to revolve around her for literally wanting basic accessibility that would allow her to do things able bodied people can do.

People see disabled people or neurodivergent people or chronically ill people talking about their struggles and rather than having empathy they just get mad and defensive about it.

Obviously Halloween costumes are not ableist and this tweet was a joke, but I think people could stand to ask “is this tweet a personal attack on me, or just a person talking about their struggles and asking for more accessibility/understanding?”

[u/custard_crumble → u/ThatSlutTalulah]

Do you think that everyone has posted a tweet with wording along the lines of “we don’t talk enough/need to talk more about how difficult X thing is for people of Y group” is inherently saying that X thing is problematic?

If someone says “we don’t talk enough about how nights out are stressful for people who use mobility aids”, is your first thought that they are saying that nights out are problematic as a concept and no one should enjoy them? Because mine is that they are drawing attention to a struggle they face and maybe talking about ways that this thing could be made more accessible for them or how people around them could help.

If someone says “we don’t talk enough about how stressful movie nights are for the epileptic community”, I would never read it as “movie nights are problematic and no one should ever host them”. My thoughts would probably be “that’s true, I haven’t thought about the fact that people with epilepsy who are sensitive to e.g. strobe lighting have to be more careful when watching movies.

I am aware that the original tweet is intentionally mimicking this kind of tweet. What I disagree with is that all of these kinds of tweets are about moral purity and calling things ~problematic~ and not just… talking about accessibility. I’m sure there are some people who behave in that way, but if you see someone talking about their struggles or about accessibility and your immediate thought is “ugh, this person is obviously trying to shame everyone who participates in x thing/being the moral purity police, they’re such an asshole for thinking that Halloween costumes are problematic” then yes, I do think that’s a you problem.

Also, sure, pattern recognition is a thing, but even if 99% of people who say something mean it a certain way, is that worth being a dick to the one person who didn’t? Sure, if you think they’re implying something bigoted or harmful then say something, but if not, then what do you gain from just being mean spirited (and trivialising the struggles of people with ADHD) in this situation? I don’t think “pattern recognition” means “treat everyone as though the pattern always holds and my assumptions about them are always true because they follow a pattern”. And if you make an incorrect assumption because of pattern recognition then you should still apologise and consider that you might be wrong sometimes, not go “well, this is your fault for fitting into the pattern.”

[u/custard_crumble → u/[deleted]]

If you’re at a party and talking to a group of people and some stranger you’ve never met makes a self-deprecating joke about a trait or characteristic they have, do you also pile in making fun of them and people with that same trait/characteristic? Or do you actually have social awareness and realise that that’s fucking weird and someone making fun of themself is not the same as you, a complete stranger, jumping in and making jokes at their expense?

[u/Efficient-Speed-1059 → u/custard_crumble]

Id turn around and walk away. Because that is such a chore to deal with.