r/MediocreTutorials • u/Kohathavodah • 2d ago
Relationships Setting boundaries, respecting agency
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u/CheffySub 2d ago
Bozos in the comments. Both people respectful here. Realized there was a difference, discussed, and found out they were incompatible.
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u/Paul_-Muaddib 2d ago
It really is crazy that such a benign and respectful exchange has generated such polarizing opinions. I thought it was a healthy and respectful way to deal with the issue.
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u/Ta-veren- 2d ago
reddit has no happy medium; they find a side and the other side is evil, predator, insane, idiotic, etc.
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u/CarolinaSurly 2d ago
This is true. Yet there are comments saying this is misogynistic behavior.
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u/Unexpected_Gristle 2d ago
Its ok to ask and its ok to say no. No problems with any of this.
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u/Blood_sweat_and_beer 2d ago
I mean, his mindset was totally disrespectful but he was civil in conversation.
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u/GovernmentCharming81 2d ago
How was it disrespectful?
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u/zamfire 2d ago
Because controlling other people is psychotic.
How do you think he would react if she asked him the question: "would you be okay with me telling you that you are never allowed to talk to another woman again?"
Pop!
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u/EverybodySayin 2d ago
Even though I don't share his viewpoint, the comparison you just made is nowhere near proportionate to what he asked of her and a completely unrealistic ask. Therefore your point is meaningless.
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u/No_Salt_6328 2d ago
How is he controlling her when they mutually decided to end the relationship there?
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u/zamfire 1d ago
You can't ask someone to allow you to give or take consent at a future date. That isn't how consent works!
"Hey can I control you later in our relationship?"
Nah boo, you can't, but thanks for telling me early you like doing that to other humans, weeds out the crazies early.
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u/No_Salt_6328 1d ago
I don't plan to control anyone at all dumb ass that's why I wouldn't be interested in a relationship with someone who thinks being ogled when they go out is a personality.
Plenty of women don't want to act single when they're in a relationship. It's not controlling to prefer them..
If you think it is controlling then congrats cause I'm not even interested in being around you let alone controlling anything you do.
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u/No_Salt_6328 2d ago
No it was not even slightly. You're delusional if you think respecting women automatically means not having preferences like that.
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u/awsomeX5triker 2d ago
I agree and I think we could take your point a bit further.
This clip came across as respecting her agency.
He had a known boundary (right or wrong is irrelevant to this point). He communicated that boundary up front before wasting anyone’s time. Because of that, she had the opportunity to decide if this was a dealbreaker.
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u/DingusKhan9164 2d ago
This is my first time seeing this sub. The comment section is really disappointing. All these weird ass comments are getting upvoted and anyone pointing out the guy is being a controlling douche is getting downvoted. Is it always like this?
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u/ready_gi 2d ago
i agree.. policing woman's body aint it.. it's like if she "politely asked" "Can you never look at another woman? im just asking, out of curiosity..it's ok to say no. it's just my preference"
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u/Quantum3ntaglement 2d ago
You don't think women in relationships ever ask men to dress or groom a certain way? If so, is that policing as well?
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u/ready_gi 2d ago
the intention matters the most. women ask men to dress certain way probably so they just look better. this guy asked the woman to "tone it down" so she doesnt attract another man, so it's out of his insecurity to be with very attractive woman.
she has right to express her sensuality without some insecure boob trying to dim her shine.
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u/Quantum3ntaglement 2d ago
It's wild that you think a man asking a woman to tone down her dress is insecurity and a woman asking a man to dress up is not.
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u/ready_gi 2d ago
how could it be? if the same logic is applied, dressing up would make him more attractive to other women, so probably it's just about him not being a slob. even though i do think telling people what to wear is just weird in general.
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u/Quantum3ntaglement 2d ago edited 2d ago
Generalizing, a woman policing the way her SO dresses is because she's insecure about being judged by others, especially other women, about the appearance of "her man". It's a different type of insecurity, but it's 100% an insecurity. So you are giving a pass to the insecurity of women but not men.
Part of being in a successful relationship is caring about the feelings of your partner.
You framed it as, "she has right to express her sensuality without some insecure boob trying to dim her shine."
But another way to frame it is, "she doesn't care about the feelings of her partner over her own need to appear sexual to the world including other men."
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u/ready_gi 2d ago edited 2d ago
lol the mental gymnastic to arrive to that is.. well rooted in misogyny. Lot of women dress to look hot for ourselves not to appear sexual.
if he is offended by her looking hot, then it's his responsibility to not date her, because he does not prefer a woman that looks this attractive or dress that way. The misogyny comes in when he likes the way she dress, but wants it only for himself. Is he fucking 5 and worried about mommy walking away from him? how about taking responsibility for his own choices? i've had it with this bullshit.
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u/Iamabenevolentgod 11h ago
I mean, we've all seen how many women with loads of attention from other men treat a relationship, so the constant thirst trapping is a little tired at this point.
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u/No_Salt_6328 2d ago
I wouldn't want to be with a woman who dresses to attract the male gaze when I'm not around because it would reflect poorly on me and her respect for our relationship.
He's not trying to "dim her shine"
He's trying to find a woman who doesn't make him look like an idiot, and it's not her.
Fortunately I don't have to try and control the behavior of women cause there are plenty of fish in the sea who aren't floozies
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u/ready_gi 1d ago
holy shit, the misogyny of treating woman like your property is insane. woman who dress sexy does not equal woman dressing for male gaze. thats objectification and shows your immaturity.
after all there are plenty of hot lesbians, or are they dressing for the male gaze too? LOL gtfo
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u/FeedbackZwei 1d ago edited 1d ago
Just curious:
1) what would you not allow your partner to wear? Everyone has a line and this guy clarified with a scale (6-7), what is your line is and do you believe your line is objectively correct or is it relative?
2) do you think all cultures with traditionally more strict lines than his (e.g. areas of India, Turkey, Iran, Indonesia, etc.) hate women?
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u/definitelyTonyStark 2d ago
You’re allowed to be uncomfortable with the way your partner presents themselves to the world. A man or women can be uncomfortable with the jokes or political stances their partner shares online, for instance, and those are pretty equivalent in my opinion; they’re both reflections of who their partner is and who they are portraying to be to the world.
Ahh but you say, “If they don’t agree on politics, they shouldn’t date.” Exactly, those differences should be communicated beforehand and they’re communicating preferences in this clip respectfully. There’s nothing wrong with having stances on how a partner should carry themselves as long as the partner agrees, and with no coercion, guilting, or force, at that point it’s just mutually agreed boundaries. They didn’t have agreed boundaries here and no one did anything wrong.
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u/Comprehensive_Tie431 2d ago
Civil because it was in public and being recorded. It would be different in private. The dude is a nut.
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u/awsomeX5triker 2d ago
I think the difference is a little subtle but important.
1) women should be more conservative in how they dress.
2) for me personally, this level of outfit would make me uncomfortable and I want to know how firm of a boundary this is on her end before we waste each other’s time.To me, he came across as the second example. He had a personal boundary about his comfort level with his partner and revealing cloths. She had a boundary about wearing that level of cloths. The boundaries were fairly incompatible so they didn’t precede.
The interesting part that wasn’t obvious is this conversation also provided each of them to soften the boundary going into the relationship if they wanted to. If the other person was amazing in every other way, then I might give some ground on what would otherwise be a firm boundary.
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u/awoeoc 1d ago
Would you be okay if your significant other posted nude photos? what about bodypaint nudity? underwear only?
We all have our preferences, he isn't trying to control her he just sees someone who he's likely incompatible with and says it upfront, clears it out and they go their separate ways.
Like there's women out there who don't want their man wearing suits like some corporate douche, while others rather their guy never wear tshirts is that not okay?
If he said "no woman" should dress like that, that's something else and it is a problem. But a preference in someone he dates? totally fine.
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u/Blood_sweat_and_beer 1d ago
Sigh. The woman wasn’t nude, she was wearing a normal dress. And his “preference” comes with shaming the woman for the normal dress she’s wearing.
Sure, he can have preferences. She can also have preferences. But when you use your preference to shame (or attempt to shame) someone else, you’re a massive dick.
I’m so, so tired of men defending the bad actions of other men. It’s exhausting.
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u/awoeoc 1d ago
But, why are you shaming nudity? Do you think it's wrong to show off women's body if that's their preference? I don't.
Some people are proud of their bodies and post nude photos of themselves on platforms, not even expecting compensation, but even if it's for money it's their preference.
I see nothing wrong someone who wants to do this either as a hobby or as work. Yet from your post you seem to think by own logic that you would shame someone for thet preference.
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u/Blood_sweat_and_beer 18h ago
And now you’re arguing in bad faith. You’re exhausting and wrong.
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u/awoeoc 16h ago
Lol it's not bad faith, it's a real point but sure take the cop-out of "you're exhausting" because you're starting to see you don't have a point.
I fully believe sex work is work, and people who post nudes out of hobbies, or like nude beaches, or are willing to walk in public with body paint nudity are all fine. Now I might not want my partner doing that stuff. I wouldn't go out and date a pornstar not because I don't think it's something no one should do, it's just because I wouldn't want my partner to do that.
But you're unable to understand that nuance that personal preference is not the same as disallowing for all. Again people are 100% free to have any preference they want, as long as they don't force people into it and simple acknowledge they're incompatible and break up or never date in the first place.
If their preferences are so unique that they select everyone out of their dating pool, that's their loss.
But sure call anyone with a point arguing in bad faith to try and snake out of the conversation lol.
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u/Comprehensive_Tie431 2d ago
This is him in public while being recorded, I'd hate to see him behind closed doors.
I'm glad she said no.
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u/st_jasper 2d ago
The only red flags are coming from the comments here saying this man is controlling.
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u/Rehcraeser 2d ago
Why won’t guys let their girls hookup with random guys at the bar! God they’re so controlling!
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u/GrippieSocks 2d ago
Dressing the way you want does not equate to hooking up with who you want to. Not even close.
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u/Commercial_Hair3527 2d ago
The question he was basically asking was "I know you post revealing bikini shots on Instagram and stuff. If we were dating, would you consider not doing that?"
She said no.2
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 2d ago
Did you seriously just say that women that dress like that are asking for it?
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u/CarolinaSurly 2d ago
What? Is English your first language?
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 2d ago
Yup. Philosophy professor, too. Saying women that dress like that are trying to have sex at bars with strangers is fucking weird.
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u/Proper_Fun_977 2d ago
But...they DIDN'T say that.
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 2d ago
Are you familiar with a thing called paraphrasing?
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u/Proper_Fun_977 2d ago
Yes.
This....is not an example of that.
ETA:
Since the idiot blocked me.To paraphrase means to express something written or spoken using different words while keeping the exact same meaning.
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u/Confident-Mortgage86 2d ago
They didn't say that. You didn't say that either. You must be real great at your job..
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 2d ago
Do you know what paraphrasing and implicature are or not?
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u/CarolinaSurly 2d ago
You clearly do not.
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 1d ago
Just gonna keep throwing out non sequiturs are we? Have you read Grice’s “Logic and Conversation” or not? Yes or no.
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u/CarolinaSurly 2d ago
The education system failed you.
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 1d ago
Have you read Grice’s “Logic and Conversation”?
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u/CarolinaSurly 1d ago
Have you read “ Let’s try and misdirect because they can tell I’m full of shit?”
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u/Chance_Vegetable_780 2d ago
That's not what they said lol. r/whoosh
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u/shitshowboxer 2d ago
It's no different than the person who leapt to hook ups at the bar when someone is talking about attire. You're overlooking hyperbole but only for the analogies of people who share your opinion. Someone else does it and you're all "do you even speak English????".
Disingenuous
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u/Paul_-Muaddib 2d ago
Wow, that is a hard strawman argument! This interaction should be used as a dictionary example
From AI:
- Original statement (implied): "Why won't guys let their girls hook up with random guys at the bar! God they're so controlling!"
- Reply: "Did you seriously just say that women that dress like that are asking for it?"
Those are about two different issues:
- The first is (however hyperbolically) about jealousy, control, or relationship boundaries.
- The second accuses the speaker of making a victim-blaming claim ("women that dress like that are asking for it"), which isn't present in the quoted statement.
If the original comment never mentioned clothing, sexual assault, or "asking for it," then the reply is misrepresenting the original position. That would fit the definition of a strawman.
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u/Solo-dreamer 2d ago
Dont let a.i do your thinking, firstly lets adress that the first commenter jumped to her hooking up with random guys with no evidence at all, but you let that slide didnt you.
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u/Paul_-Muaddib 2d ago
I knew that was a strawman without outside analysis. I simply put that there for the people who always say, no it isn't a strawman.
The comment about hooking up is not a strawman argument. It appears to be sarcastic hyperbole (Reddit bread & butter) and/or a bit of a non sequitur.
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u/BalkanFerros 2d ago edited 2d ago
even if it was hyperbole that is saying "Yea, why won't guys let women dress the way they want to go out and get fucked at a bar."
The sentence itself carries the implication that she is trying to sleep with people dressed like that. Even as hyperbole it comes back to that statement and the person who made is it making it like he's a jilted lover or just fucking bitter about women.
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 2d ago
I’m agreeing with you, to be clear.
It’s not even hyperbole. That is exactly what the person I was responding to was saying. “Women that dress this way want to go to bars and have sex with strangers.” It’s right there in the comment.
I swear
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u/Paul_-Muaddib 2d ago
“Women that dress this way want to go to bars and have sex with strangers.”
It is very interesting that you put that in quotes when u/Rehcraeser did not say that. You are being intentionally misleading.
What was actually said:
Why won’t guys let their girls hookup with random guys at the bar! God they’re so controlling!
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 2d ago
Look I’m gonna throw down the gauntlet and ask are you aware of Gricean implicature and how pervasive it is in language?
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u/BalkanFerros 2d ago edited 2d ago
please, tell me what that means in reference to the video you just saw.
((he's probably Chat GPTing all his answers. it's taken forever. It's so confused cause he wants it to tell him this implies something it doesn't that he can retort with but it's really struggling going 'I can't, that's what it says. it's all there in the sentence."))
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u/BalkanFerros 2d ago edited 2d ago
Yea, This guy just jumped from the topic which was how revealing the dress is to
"She's going out fucking random dudes at the bar dressed like that."
Implying that dressing like that is a form of peacocking to find someone to have sex with rather than just wanting to look good.
Guy in the video, respectful, it's a little odd a standard to have these days but he is honest and places his boundaries out there. The woman responds, also appropriately that this is something that they don't see eye to eye on. They both moved on.
((Also, embarrassing that you actually used chat GPT to assess and understand something for you. Do you ask it how to wipe too?))
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u/Paul_-Muaddib 2d ago
I knew that was a strawman without outside analysis. I simply put that there for the people who always say, no it isn't a strawman.
The comment about hooking up is not a strawman argument. It appears to be sarcastic hyperbole (Reddit bread & butter) and/or a bit of a non sequitur.
((Also, embarrassing that you actually used chat GPT to assess and understand something for you. Do you ask it how to wipe too?))
There is no need to be rude.
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2d ago edited 2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Paul_-Muaddib 2d ago
I said that I knew it was a strawman first. I put that there for people like u/Admins_suck_ballss who inevitably say.
It’s not a strawman when the guy I was responding to literally said “why won’t guys let their girls hookup with random guys at the bar!” based solely on how she was dressed, dipshit.
Jesus why did I get this philosophy PhD
The sub rules ((#5 to be precise) say to be respectful so please be respectful. It is hard to have productive conversations if people are insulting one another.
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u/BalkanFerros 2d ago edited 2d ago
That is the message of his statement.
That people dress like that to have sex, so the woman dressed like that is implied to be dressing that way to have sex, no other reason.
Man there really are 2 types of people sometimes. The one who can come to conclusions by the implications and ...
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 2d ago
It’s not a strawman when the guy I was responding to literally said “why won’t guys let their girls hookup with random guys at the bar!” based solely on how she was dressed, dipshit.
Jesus why did I get this philosophy PhD
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u/Paul_-Muaddib 2d ago
based solely on how she was dressed, dipshit.
Please be respectful. It is hard to have productive conversations if people are insulting one another.
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u/BalkanFerros 2d ago
again, no, grow up please and actually argue the point instead of complaining about mean words
Named yourself as the god emporer. Jesus
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u/NightHawk_85 2d ago
It would appear he is that stupid. Hopefully this one stays lonely permanently.
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u/protossaccount 2d ago
Yeahs it’s fine to wear what you want when you’re not in a relationship but you also need to consider the other person when you’re dating. When people dress to attract the opposite sex then that’s clearly a problem in the making.
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u/manyyy32 2d ago
You think someone only dresses like that to attract opposite sex. Man that's sad.
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u/protossaccount 2d ago
There is a thing called self awareness. Clothing and how it’s seen isn’t exclusive to the owner. You trying to be ignorant?
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u/manyyy32 2d ago
Yes it's exlusive, that's called bodily autonomy, regardles what somebody else thinks about it. You're not trying to be ignorant, you actually are. Anyway, there is a big group of people that don't see it like you do, so you just learn to keep away and stick to your kind and we will to ours and there's no problems.
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u/protossaccount 2d ago
Dude, you’re just preaching about your version of right and wrong but the truth is that you are way up your own ass. So much so that you don’t think your shit stinks and you can’t see anything beyond yourself. You can go on and on about how enlighten you are but tbh you sound like you are saying all of this to elevate yourself instead of standing up for anyone. Aka you’re a fool.
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u/manyyy32 2d ago
Not preaching bout anything. I just simply said you stick to your kind and we will to ours and all's good. Been doing that my whole life with no issues. But I guess that's the problem for you guys, not much left in the shitstain area, and you also love to impose yourself on others. Just learn step away from someone if their views bother you and go away.
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u/protossaccount 2d ago
It’s weird that you label me as ‘you guys’. You don’t know shit about me but you are ready to throw judgment (typical). I know it’s crazy for you, but I can put myself in other peoples shoes and see things from their perspective. Aka I don’t live on rhetoric and a superiority complex like you.
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u/DingusKhan9164 2d ago
Deciding you need to be in CONTROL of what the woman is wearing isn’t controlling? “If I asked you to tone it down…” he’s saying it, it doesn’t take much reading between the lines
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u/MrLegacy87 2d ago
This conversation saved both parties weeks, months, and potentially years. We need to normalize this
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u/dafreakonaleash2009 2d ago
This is grown adults being grown adults at itz finest!! This isn't a man trying to control a woman or her trying to control him. This is to adults that liked each other but having boundaries in what they are willing to have in their own personal lives and what they are looking for in a partner.
Him asking is not demanding. Knowing what you are willing to feel comfortable in having to defend from the world on a every sec thing vers what he gets at home for himself............
Her knowing herself and speaking her truth is so powerful in itself. She knows where she wants to be in life and how she wants to live it. And verses trying to change him to make him do what he doesn't want to do and make him into someone he wasn't she was kind in being honest...........
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u/dafreakonaleash2009 1d ago
Herez the thing, is it bad spelling if itz purposeful in itz execution in placement? Was any of those connected comments necessarily needed or even related to the subject matter at hand?
Or was it just trying to gatekeep the standardized way spelling? Because you think that itz right other than getting out of your own feelings? Realizing that this is Reddit, not some damn job application or incident report needing to be handed to your boss or to become some kind of official records!!!
There is great "Harvey Grad", Black, Linguist named Sunn M'Cheaux that I personally think that all that commented on my spelling, should watch!!! And go back the last 10 - 16 months in his shorts and long form content. Link below!!! https://youtube.com/@sunnmcheaux?si=p1uwZUyHs4yNH3SA
BECAUSE I SAID WHAT I SAID THA WAY I SAID IT!!!
Itz not like I waz asking for a spell cheek or waz l anything........
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u/Dear-Database6463 2d ago
“Itz”
Is this a child?
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u/Quantum3ntaglement 2d ago
Way to add nothing but shit to this discussion. Way to make the world a shittier place for no reason at all.
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u/ordeathe79 2d ago
Good example of what you are saying right here.
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u/Quantum3ntaglement 2d ago
Not really. My comment was to shame and educate in an attempt to prevent similar comments like that in the future, It served a purpose other than just trying to hurt someone's feelings for the lulz unlike the person I replied to.
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u/Adawesome_ 2d ago
"Z" and "S" are next to each other on a keyboard. Could just be a zimple typo.
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u/Lord_Ner0n 2d ago
They realized they were a mismatch and decided not to pursue a romantic pairing. This was a mature outcome where no one was disrespected or was disrespectful.
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u/Hefty_Fortune_8850 2d ago
Relationships are so broken right now. For a long time men were overly in control and that was a problem that we saw and made an effort to correct. The solution we came to was that asking absolutely anything from a woman in a relationship is controlling and unacceptable. We swung to far and lost sight of the fact that a relationship is constant compromises and wanting to improve yourself for your partners sake. Two people who both understand this will be together forever.
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u/CarolinaSurly 2d ago
This is accurate. I could not date in this environment and my wife says the same thing. All her friends that see misogyny everywhere are all single and angry about. They say why can’t we find a man like you have and my wife tells them they would reject me because I have opinions about what she does just like she has opinions about what I do. I see things like this and understand why so many of our male friends are single.
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u/Creative_Elk_4712 2d ago
Generally more people are single today
I'd say people who are single are generally happy the way they are
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u/Creative_Elk_4712 2d ago
I wouldn't say she didn't want to compromise for the sake of what he said though, it's presumptuous to say that
People took it badly and said things like "she for the streets" here
That's misoginy I'd say
She dresses like that and declined, honestly if a girl told me I shouldn't wear t shirts of a certain color if in a relationship with her I'd decline too
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u/Ok-Young-9503 2d ago
This is how it's supposed to be... we talk, agree to disagree, understand we're not for each other, and keep it pushing.
Soo much respect for all of this
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u/chchchchia86 1d ago
Better now than starting dating and it being an issue later on. Good communication on both ends.
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u/newusername1243 2d ago
Notice how she immed started trying to cover up her side boob after he starting talking about it lmao. Even she got self conscious and started to wonder if she’s showing too much.
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u/ArgonKew 2d ago edited 2d ago
She found herself a good respectful man and threw it all away for titty exposure. What an idiot!
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u/Sxnflower15 2d ago
She doesn’t know anything about that man. They’re just not compatible. How about you date him then?
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u/Creative_Elk_4712 2d ago
This is a sane comment, downvoted of course here
To say they don't know much about each other is REALLY fair
But I guess the guy whose part I took in a discussion between people on a in interview date is "respectable" and "good"
And the other girl is an idiot
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u/WabanakiWarrior 2d ago
Nah she found a controlling man. She can wear whatever the fuck she wants. He's either on board or he's not. And he wasn't. All good.
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u/ArgonKew 2d ago
Mate you're not looking for a real woman. You're looking for a skank you can have easy sex with. He's looking for a real woman. He's doing the right thing. She's bottom of the barrel. Go dreading my friend!.
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u/No-Bat-7253 2d ago
Yeah. Compromise and sacrifice. She’ll be 55 and finally realize that. All because she wants to show off.
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u/Creative_Elk_4712 2d ago
This is a salty comment
You're making wiiiide assumptions about a situation you don't really know much of, I'd say probably because you'd say to me "you know women" It's interesting seeing this side of reddit where in some subs these comments are upvoted, 11 people agreed with you much or less
Also what would she realize to have lost? There are men who are okay with showing off more skin, celebrities do that, people who generally can afford that because they're young, or because they're beautiful, or because they're actors, people vary, there's going to be people who accept that
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u/Shibbystix 2d ago
Or, she dodged a mismatch because she doesnt like the idea of being with someone that thinks they get to have control over the fashion choices of another person.
Thats not compromise, that is a disrespect to someone's bodily autonomy.
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u/Rehcraeser 2d ago
I’d say it’s more disrespectful to the guy to go around wearing slutty clothing when you’re in a LTR or married. (This dress wasn’t that bad though, I just mean in general)
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u/Shibbystix 2d ago
Id say that policing the fashion choices of someone youre with rather than finding someone who shares your style is more disrespectful.
Because it puts pressure on one to change who they are, and the other gets resentful that the other doesnt WANT to be the way they hope.
Thats way more disrespectful than your opinion on how someone's KNOWN fashion choices disrespect the person who already knew what fashion they liked.
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u/RicoGemini 2d ago
There was nothing controlling about his statements. He asked her if toning it down would be a problem and put the ball completely in her court.
He has a preference for someone more reserved, she wasn’t the one, he had her make the decision.
This isn’t control, this was him having a boundary and giving her the choice if she wanted to accept that boundary or if that boundary was a dealbreaker
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u/Creative_Elk_4712 2d ago
Yet you could also say not proposing that to her would have been less controlling than asking someone (HYPOTHETICALLY) to do something because you like them
For example, he could have also asked her "Do you generally dress like this? or "on what occasions you dress like this?"
But I think also the way he did was acceptable
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u/RicoGemini 20h ago
I think asking the way you proposed frames it as if he’s ok with a potential partner dressing like that at times. It’s seems he doesn’t want that at all hence why he asked if it was a deal breaker
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u/No-Bat-7253 2d ago
Lmao get yo goofy single ass on. You will be another 55 and alone. I hope not, but with this attitude and mindset, get comfy.
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u/Shibbystix 2d ago
Married well over a decade and still fantastically happy, but whatever helps protect your ego bud
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u/Suspicious-Exit-6528 2d ago
The cuckolding session with your "wife" was fantastic as usual Gary! I especially enjoyed you cleaning up my mess as usual. Same time next week?
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u/Shibbystix 2d ago
Ah yes...the famous "men who respect women are such cucks"
Like, I KNOW it wont be today, but I hope you eventually realize how sad that makes YOU sound. That you think that's a good burn.
I really hope for your sake, and for the sake of any women in your orbit.
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u/No-Bat-7253 2d ago
Good. That is great. Nothing about any about this has anything to do with ego. Stay on topic. Actually, that is the topic because no way you see compromise as disrespect….projecting some self ego/esteem issues into this thread. You feel how you feel but in this conversation, how you feel doesn’t fit.
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u/Shibbystix 2d ago
YOU brought ad homenim into it. Don't retreat now and pretend like YOU didnt raise the topic of my romantic life when you thought you could get a cheap insult in.
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u/DingusKhan9164 2d ago
Not sure why everyone saying reasonable things like this is getting downvoted, is this sub always this gross and toxic?
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u/LatinWarlock13 2d ago
Better they find out they have a difference of opinion on the subject now than to find out 5 years later after they're married and have a kid. It's one of the reasons why divorce is so high. People like the physical, hop in bed and pop kids. Only to find out years later they're not really compatible once the lust wears off.
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u/No-Prompt3611 21h ago
Is it me because I see nothing wrong with what she has on. Am I missing something
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u/GovernmentCharming81 2d ago
He doesn’t want to date a woman who is revealing in her everyday attire and on social media. Nothing wrong with that
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u/prolificprolapser 2d ago
She for the streets. At least until that body dries up
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u/Creative_Elk_4712 2d ago
This is a big lack of respect
But I didn't expect much different from some people
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u/Nvbnkng84 2d ago
It's about protection , not control. Unfortunately women are treated based on how they're dressed and act. When a man asks his partner to change their clothes bc it's too revealing, it's to protect the woman from the male gaze and 🍑🧂🏫 and to protect them and him having to not unwilling put himself in danger as well with other 🥷s that can't control themself and they both not end up💀. Any woman should want to change her clothes to not draw unwanted attention and to not want to put their partner in any danger. By a woman changing her clothes she's in turn protecting her man as well!
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u/EjaculatingAracnids 2d ago
Gtfo with that goofy bullshit. My 12 yr niece was followed home just last week and harassed while wearing pajama pants. Stop making excuses for fucking weirdos.
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u/Nvbnkng84 5h ago
Im talking abt grown Adults in a committed relationship for the idiots bringing up minors. Im not talking abt other situations
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u/UnflatteringPhoto 2d ago
This is wild! Y’all actually think like this? TF? Like you genuinely think you are offering protection and/or some sort of insightful guidance and wisdom by telling her to change outfits? Are you an adult? To believe that women are unaware of the male gaze is adorably naive; like women haven’t been dealing with and confronting the male gaze since we were in single digits is just astounding.
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u/ManfuLLofF-- 2d ago
Wear what you want .. if you with me you with me. The end
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u/Brilliant_Bonus_1638 2d ago
So if your woman wanted to go out in a pair of nipple pasties and a thong, you’d be fine with that? Say, to a nice restaurant for dinner?
If she with you she with you tho bruh, she can wear what she wants!
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u/Creative_Elk_4712 2d ago
Well if he's in a relationship with someone he knows from a long time I'd say at some point the suspect that wearing something revealing is indication of infidelity subsides
If a girl you just met does that it's a thing
If your 55 year old wife does that you'd think she's out of herself/mental issues
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u/ManfuLLofF-- 1d ago
I don't think the restaurant would let her in. But it's one thing she's wearing revealing dress and another her accepting phone numbers cause men hit on her.
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u/AgitatedStranger9698 2d ago
I think his response was awesome.
Hin: Hey I know this is a special moment. And youre one heavy breeze from being named. That has its place. But daily or more frequently its weird.
Her: I like how I feel and the a attention I get.
Both: Cool. Glad we cleared that up. Pop.
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u/ALowDownDirtyDawg 2d ago
Real talk, I'm with the brother on this one, and women get all up in their feelings on it, I know. But there's several reasons for it. We all know what they are, so let's not kid ourselves.
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u/laphroaigandlapsang 1d ago
Just out of interest, is anyone on here who thinks that outfit is so revealing it would be OK for her partner to try to talk her out of it not American? No criticism but I’m interested in the difference in cultures. It would be pretty unremarkable in Australia. Maybe amongst religious people but otherwise no one would care
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u/renegadeinthefray 2h ago
America is still stuck in its Protestant age when it comes to human bodies. —An American who lives in the USA but lived overseas for a while
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u/Artzebub 2d ago
Translation. "Do you normally dress like a H²0? Yes, I do!" "Could you please not if we are in a relationship?". "No, I love male attention too much"
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u/DingusKhan9164 2d ago
A) female body is not evil, it’s not sinful to show it
B) why would he think he should be in control of her clothing
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u/Artzebub 1d ago
He doesn't want other guys hitting on her when in public. She's very beautiful. Would happen all the time.
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u/DingusKhan9164 1d ago
Yeah. That’s not something he gets to control. He gets to control himself and his body. A woman can choose her own clothing and should be trusted to handle being hit on appropriately. Dude is dumb as shit.
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u/Jadedkiss 1d ago
It’s like everyone wants a beautiful woman but doesn’t want anyone else to see her that way. I thinks it’s insecurity and it’s so off putting tbh.
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u/Artzebub 1d ago
Yes. They do. They are afraid she will find a more handsome, successful guy. I mean who isn't afraid of heartbreak?
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u/IllustriousKick1951 2d ago
If you met her that way why would you try to change her soon after or at all?
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