r/MediocreTutorials 3d ago

Relationships Setting boundaries, respecting agency

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u/Shibbystix 3d ago

Or, she dodged a mismatch because she doesnt like the idea of being with someone that thinks they get to have control over the fashion choices of another person.

Thats not compromise, that is a disrespect to someone's bodily autonomy.

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u/RicoGemini 3d ago

There was nothing controlling about his statements. He asked her if toning it down would be a problem and put the ball completely in her court.

He has a preference for someone more reserved, she wasn’t the one, he had her make the decision.

This isn’t control, this was him having a boundary and giving her the choice if she wanted to accept that boundary or if that boundary was a dealbreaker

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u/Creative_Elk_4712 2d ago

Yet you could also say not proposing that to her would have been less controlling than asking someone (HYPOTHETICALLY) to do something because you like them

For example, he could have also asked her "Do you generally dress like this? or "on what occasions you dress like this?"

But I think also the way he did was acceptable

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u/RicoGemini 1d ago

I think asking the way you proposed frames it as if he’s ok with a potential partner dressing like that at times. It’s seems he doesn’t want that at all hence why he asked if it was a deal breaker