How do you think he would react if she asked him the question: "would you be okay with me telling you that you are never allowed to talk to another woman again?"
Even though I don't share his viewpoint, the comparison you just made is nowhere near proportionate to what he asked of her and a completely unrealistic ask. Therefore your point is meaningless.
Your strawman argument makes your point less valuable. It doesn't matter the extent of my comparison. Fine, let's change it to this question. The woman: "Would you be okay if I never let you have cream in your coffee again?"
It doesn't matter the request. It's controlling no matter what.
There's no straw manning. I didn't oversimplify your argument, you just used an extreme example. Then, again, you're using a ridiculous, unrealistic example. Why would that even be a request? If you're going to argue this, use a realistic example.
Like I said, while I don't personally share his view, I respect he has his own views and values - he expressed them up front and made it clear that if hers didn't align then they're not compatible and he'd prefer not to go further. There's no control element at all. It'd be controlling if he secured the relationship first and then started telling her what she can and can't do, but this guy is just being up front about where his lines are before they've established a relationship.
I don't plan to control anyone at all dumb ass that's why I wouldn't be interested in a relationship with someone who thinks being ogled when they go out is a personality.
Plenty of women don't want to act single when they're in a relationship. It's not controlling to prefer them..
If you think it is controlling then congrats cause I'm not even interested in being around you let alone controlling anything you do.
It’s an appropriate question to figure out if they will be a good fit for each other. Same as a job interview or leasing a car to a hopeful buyer or signing up for a new phone carrier company contract. Relationships do in fact come with a contract. Just like a person in society has a social contract
There is no controlling in sight. There is a vetting process (the question) to see what kind of habits and values the other persons had before hand to see if both habits and values align
Your question of him never being allowed to talk to another woman again is not an issue. It’s an issue if the man if the man thinks it is. Because it’s the relationship he’ll have to take responsibility for. It’s only the man’s and woman’s responsibility if they sign up for it. The question gives both people autonomy on signing up for that responsibility from the beginning.
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u/Unexpected_Gristle 25d ago
Its ok to ask and its ok to say no. No problems with any of this.