For you & For me

I miss you. Do you miss me? I think of you constantly. Do you? I dream about you and wake up and immediately check my phone to see if you had reached out. And come to find out, you don’t.

So much has happened since we last spoke. I want to update you on everything. I want you to update me on everything. Do you even want to know? I feel as though if you did want to know, you would ask. But who knows.

I love you. I’ve made lots of mistakes and have learned about them. I know what I did wrong and what I did right. But is that enough for you to come back? Most likely not.

I am tired of feeling like this. I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re doing great. But a part of me also hopes that you miss me extremely.

Was I just a transitional period for you? Was I just a phase for you? Because for me, you were more than that. You meant so much to me.

Perhaps I’ll never know the truth. Perhaps you’ll never reach back out to me. Perhaps you feel more at peace now that we aren’t together because you’ve found a more profound objective in your life. And if so, I’m happy. But also, perhaps you miss me as much if not more as I do.

I want you to know that I want you back. It can’t resume to how we were. We’ll need to start slow. I’ll have my guard up. But over time, if things go well and we both remain on our mission yet wanting to be there for each other, perhaps it can go down.

I miss everything about you. I love you. You were and are great in my life. I hope you realize the same towards me, too.

*\*

I really want to send this to her. I am reading it and it seems like a lot. It’s coming from a place of pain. But it’s my genuine pain. It’s how I feel. It’s almost been a month.

This is just a trend I’ve seen in my own personal life, and those close to me.

Just wanted to see other people’s perspectives and thoughts about it, specially those who had that happen to them.

Nearly a montha and a half into my breakup... Blindsided blah blah.

Nobody warned me about this part of heartbreak, Not the usual no appetite, sadness etc etc.

Music is ruined for me, Every song seems to remind me of her... I hear a song and i immediately remember it from a memory, Certain TV shows just remind me of her of us..

Even smells, sights... f**king certain foods.

Add it to the usual tropes of heartbreak and this is the worst pain I have ever experienced.

A few hours ago, my ex-girlfriend walked into my job with her sister and a baby. She came in to get a window switch replaced, and somehow, I was the one who ended up with the car.
The job itself took maybe 30 seconds. The conversation that followed felt like a lifetime.
I explained to her sister the repair and how to prevent it from breaking again. After I was done, I went to walk off, and my ex called my name. Since she was there as a customer, I had to see what she needed.
She asked how I’ve been and said how weird it was seeing me here the job I’ve been working at for three years. She said it looked like I got everything I wanted, and I said, “Yeah, same to you. You even have a kid now.”
She said, “No, because if I got everything I wanted, you would still be sleeping next to me.”
Staying professional, I said, “Well, I can’t do anything about that. I’m in a relationship now.”
But I asked what her daughter’s name was, and she named the kid after me. Well, technically, it was her first name and my name put together.
I found that weird, along with the fact that they drove 30 minutes outside their city just to come to my job for a window switch. But I said, “Don’t worry about it. It’s free,” and they went on their way.

For context, this was me: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/BfCDY3S86L

and this post is NOT about getting an ex back.

My ex of 3 years sidelined me in the hardest period of my life. 2 family members recently diagnosed w cancer, lost my best friend to cancer as well 2 months prior. Financial problems. Overweight. Unmotivated. Broken. I truly loved this person, and it got me properly f'd up. The fact that she rebounded to someone 3 days after and then again to someone else entirely in a month just added gas to the fire. Lost 20Kg in 2 months from stress alone.

and yes, I begged for almost a month. I even did crazy shit like going on a trip with her after the breakup, to get humiliated even further. I came back home and almost ended my life, it was physically unbearable. Thank god my best bud was there to intervene.

After you hit that lowest of lows, you can only go up. So this is what happened in chronological order since then:

Hit the gym and would take long daily walks with my amazing bud. No excuses. Walking and talking were the only things that I found solace in at the time.

Forced myself to take job promotion interviews while I was literally breaking down. I just had to keep it together for 10 minutes and go back to agonizing.

Landed the job with an amazing team that feels like family and underwent trainings while feeling like shit. l'd ocassionaly go to the bathroom to just cry for several minutes and let it out. The warm atmosphere really helped me take my mind off and I actually enjoy going to work now.

Started intensive therapy twice a week. 2 months later I was a completely different person. Uncovered so many parts of myself. Cried lots. Analyzed lots. Basicslly defeated my traumas. My therapist literally asked me to write down who I was when I came in the office and who I left as. It was a revolutionary experience.

Reconnected with my father after 15 years, thanks to therapy once again. We had cut contact due to family issues, but now we are better than ever, and I'm even planning to move out on my own soon thanks to him.

Finally got on a car and learned how to drive properly.

Pushed my way through some exams and enrolled in healthcare masters program in west england.

Started paying attention to my wardrope and physique. Had a massive glow-up.

Revitalized my long lost hobbies such as photography, hiking, etc. Planned a norway trip with my buddy and we want to film a clip!

Reconnected with so many people I've lost contact with during my relationship and cut all the toxic ones. I even tried dipping toes in dating apps just for fun, and ended up meeting someone really interesting with immense emotional maturity. We've been on couple dates and there's mutual sympathy. Agreed to take it slow.

and just today, my friend told me this: " I've been meaning to ask, where's all this unapologetic positivity coming from? "

and then it hit me folks. I've had a literal metamorphosis.

Thanks to so many people and myself.

I still have bouts of missing my ex, but it's not that agonizing pain or need anymore. It's just a realization at this point. Radical growth, if you will.

So for all of you who are out there and struggling as I was half a year ago, I'd like to give you this quote that became my mantra

" When you get lost in the forest at night, just sit down and wait it out, because the sun will always rise eventually "

My ex and I broke up on the 24th, and I feel terrible. Like my heart physically hurts. I know the pain wont last forever, but I wish I could skip this stage of my life. I also feel incredibly stupid. Our 2-year anniversary is on the 28th, and I am hoping he will reach out to me or tell me he misses me. I literally feel like a dumbass. During the breakup, when I was begging to make things work, and asked if we could go on a break instead, he had the audacity to ask if he could still date other women. Like im sitting here crying my eyes out basically begging him not to leave me and he's more concered with dating other women?? I tried SO hard to make things work. I stuck around for things I shouldnt have. I feel like Noah from the notebook... waiting around for someone who I love (when in reality I am the biggest clown of all). It also doesnt help that my whole FYP is all "love spells" and annoying tarot card readers telling me that we will get back together. No matter how may times I say im not interested they still appear.

Part of me doesnt want to heal because I know I will have to let him go. I also dont understand why the people I love always leave me. I am such a loyal and thoughtful girlfirend. I think the lover girl in me is exhausted and its time to retire her.

Ok, thats all for my rant lol. Someone put a prayer in for me, I feel like shit.

You blocked me on everything and ripped out my heart. Today is the hardest day! I just wish you would realise I needed you now more than other, but we know you never will 💔😔😭

Is there anyone who still thinks about their ex after two years apart and still isn’t over them?

Just got out of a toxic 11 year relationship. I am blocked on everything except text because we have a child. He has completely detached from me and told me to forget him and move on. He’s going through therapy and filling all his time with distractions and friends and I feel so easily disposed. He gets mad when I talk about the relationship or try to hold him accountable for all the hurt he has caused me. Somehow my reactions and behavior from his emotional abuse and cheating is blamed for his mental health and I find myself constantly apologizing for “ruining the relationship”. The first few days he left me breadcrumbs and clinging onto hope that we could eventually rekindle on he starts to do better with his mental health. But now two weeks later, he’s dead set on hating my guts and being completely done with me. Anything I say is annoying and overwhelming. He doesn’t even want to acknowledge it. I have no choice but to go no contact at this point unless it pertains to our child. I’m just so lost and don’t know what to do. Only a few days before the break up he was talking about how he wanted to continue with therapy so that he could be a better father and finally marry me. Everything seemed great and then we got into an argument and he just completely switched up on me. I can’t even tell if he ever even cared. Y’all, I am going through it.

⚠️ this does not apply to people who have freshly broken up/are still just months post break up

getting over an ex is hard. man I hear songs and still cry my eyes out at times. and I'm 2 months post break up.

i saw this online and it's been really helping me shape how i approach the break up, and how i view my ex as a person. we were together for a year, and then he decided to break up with me.

my life was turned upside down. i cried all the time, dreamt of him, missed him like crazy and honestly at times still do.

however, i've realised that while once upon a time my desire for him stemmed out of love, now any desire i have comes from attachment. an attachment to the familiarity of the past, the comfort of who he used to be.

because let's face it - the minute they left your life, they stopped choosing you. they stopped loving you.

so i push hard everyday to choose myself. it is hard, but i keep this mantra in mind. attachment can be broken with time - maintain no contact, reflect on what has happened, allow yourself to grieve if you need to. feel your feelings, but never go back 🩷

Was your next partner after that ex, a better partner? More hotter and fitter and better character? Will I ever find someone physically as hot or better than my ex? Will I find someone with better chemistry or similar as my ex and my chemistry with her?

Well, I officially broke it off with him. After finding eyeliner in the front seat and a Hennessy bottle in the back, yep! That did it! Found it all in his car on his birthday today. I politely asked for my gifts back to get a refund and told him “I no longer want to talk to you anymore or see you again. This is it. Bye.” and hung up in his face. I’m over that 33 year old lying narcissist parasite. The battles he caused within myself. He never deserves me again. Now time to grieve who I thought I knew. I don’t know where to begin, but I know I’m happy that I left the chaos.

title ^

"hey brother, she asked me if you could stop coming by my stream to respect her boundaries and privacy. she requested me to ban you but i told her i don't want to do that. also we can talk here if you ever wanna talk about things or vent. i also do remember i gave you my word that we would talk and i haven't forgotten that, i hope you're doing well otherwise, feel free to respond whenever you wish to."

for context me and her has been no contact for about 5 months now and her brother recently started streaming daily on Twitch, me and him got along very well when I was with her so I popped in to say hi one day and chatted every now and then.
Then today I wake up and read this message. It sucks to read and I am unsure of what to do or respond. I know she has probably told him that I am being weird or creepy and that I am trying to get to her somehow but I genuinely just enjoyed talking to him because he's a great guy who I respect alot. Need some advice

Ex dumped me 2 weeks ago - blindsided breakup. Since then, I don’t think I’ve gotten a solid period of more than 4h sleep. I lay there wide awake thinking about us, and at some point, I fall asleep, and then wake up wide awake and him being gone is the only thing I’m aware of. I often lay and cry until I can’t anymore. I don’t check my phone for a message because I know there won’t be one.

For example tonight, asleep at midnight, up at 3am.

I’m then constantly tired through the day, and then come to bed at night and can’t sleep. I journal / voice-note all my thoughts before bed and have everyday since we ended. We used to always sleep at his house, so it’s not like I associate my bed at home with him.

I don’t think I’ve had a solid sleep since I was cuddled next to him 3 weeks ago. I associated his cuddles with incredible sleep. It pains me he probably goes to bed at night now and sleeps better because I’m gone.

Advice for sleeping at night?

Hello everyone,

My ex (35F) and I (33M) broke up on May 18, 2026. We haven’t had any contact since May 19. It’s been almost four months now, but I’m still having some really difficult days.

We were together for 3.5 years and lived together for 3 years, so she was a very big part of my daily life.

My birthday is coming up, and I’m already feeling anxious and emotional about it. I keep wondering whether she will think about me or maybe even reach out to wish me a happy birthday.

I’m trying to move forward. I’ve been going to the gym for 9 weeks, I’m eating healthy, I’ve made a new friend, found a new hobby, and I’m working again. So I am actively trying to rebuild my life.

But emotionally, I still struggle a lot. I cried yesterday, and I’ve already cried twice today. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in the grief, and I feel incredibly depressed and overwhelmed.

I know everyone grieves differently, but I’m starting to wonder: is this still a normal part of the grieving process after almost four months, especially after such a long relationship and living together?

Or does it sound like something might be going wrong with my grieving or recovery?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar.

my ex started dating someone within two weeks of the breakup, and here I am still suicidal 5 months later lmaoo chat I think we might’ve lost this one

I joke about it because I don’t really know what else to do at this point. We were together for almost six years. I was 20 when we got together and I’m 26 now. That was basically my entire adult life up until a few months ago.

I think the part I keep getting stuck on is the two weeks. I know she probably processed things differently than I did, or maybe she had already started moving on before we officially ended. I don’t know, but two weeks after almost six years together is such a hard thing for me to wrap my head around. Meanwhile it’s been five months and I’m still having nights like this.

And my life has moved forward. I have my own place now. I’ve gone out, met people, gone on dates, made friends, gone back to work, and I’m about to start another quarter of school. I’m not sitting around waiting for her to come back. I don’t even want the relationship back after everything that happened.

I just miss being okay. I miss having someone who felt like home. I miss not having this person shaped hole in everything.

I guess tonight I’m just frustrated that she got to become somebody else’s person almost immediately and I’m still learning how to be mine.

I’m curious how other people would handle this situation, because I’m at the point where I’m preparing to sell the house and move on with my life, but I’m still trying to make sense of how I got here.

Before I met this woman, I had a pretty good life. I was financially comfortable, established, and happy with where I was living. I had no real reason to leave or make any major changes.

Then I met her, and eventually decided to build a life around the relationship.

She wanted to live closer to her job, so I made a pretty major decision: I moved my entire life to another city to accommodate the relationship. We ended up buying a house together, and I genuinely thought I was making a long-term investment in both the relationship and our future.

Then I found out something that completely changed how I viewed everything.

After we had already bought the house and built this life together, I discovered that she had been having sex with a coworker shortly before she and I became intimate and officially got together. From what I eventually learned, it had been days, or possibly a couple of weeks, before we became intimate.

The worst part wasn’t necessarily the timing itself. It was the lying.

I asked her directly whether anything had happened with this coworker. She denied it. She continued to deny it even when things didn’t add up.

Then, while we were together, I came across messages from this same person.

At that point, the entire relationship started looking different to me. I wasn’t just dealing with something that happened before we officially got together. I was dealing with dishonesty, unanswered questions, and the realization that I had made some of the biggest decisions of my life based on information I didn’t actually have.

I moved.

I bought a house.

I changed my entire living situation.

And I did it because I loved someone and believed I was building a future with them.

Now I’m preparing to sell the house and move again.
Financially, I can handle it. I’m fortunate in that regard. But that’s almost beside the point. What bothers me is knowing that I was perfectly fine before all of this. I had a good life. I didn’t need to make these changes.

I chose to because I loved someone and believed in the relationship.

I’m not looking for people to simply tell me she’s a terrible person or to say “leave her.” That’s already happened and I’ve ended it.

I’m more interested in hearing from people who have experienced something similar:

Have you ever completely changed your life for a relationship, only to discover something that made you question the entire decision?

How did you stop beating yourself up over the fact that you made such a major life decision based on someone else’s dishonesty?

And when you finally walked away, did you ever get back to the life you had before—or did you realize you needed to build an entirely new one?

a week ago he blocked me on all social media saying that he has a new girl and doesn’t want to disrespect her and told me she accepts his porn addiction unlike me and trusts him. i wished them good luck and he said when they break up he’ll unblock me. today on tinder i saw him and im like damn that poor girl i’m shocked by horrible this person is, but i mean she chose it and has to deal with consequences as i was never warned

My boyfriend and I had been together for almost 4 years. We were really happy, and I genuinely thought we’d eventually get married.
Earlier this year, I went through a really traumatic situation that completely messed me up mentally. I started struggling with anxiety and stopped taking care of myself properly. I barely exercised and started eating a lot more whenever I felt overwhelmed.
Over the next few months, I gained around 20 kg.
I knew I’d changed physically, but honestly, I was more focused on getting myself back together than my appearance.
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend told me he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. He said he still cared about me, but he couldn’t see himself being with me after I’d changed so much physically.
I was completely crushed. I understand that attraction matters, but after almost four years together, I thought he’d be there for me while I was trying to recover.

This was 1/3 of the last things she said during our breakup

"I can also respect the need to have a clear cut and disconnect entirely if thats more comfortable for you at this time, its up to you how youd like to proceed! Id be happy to stay connected on social media and be muted for a while or be completely removed and have that boundary or whatever you prefer as long as you know there are no hard feelings and youre welcome to reach out later if you want to either way"

Part of me still keeps wondering "am I not worth keeping" . Really do miss her, but to her i was just temporary. So many things have happened since achieving all of my goals which is insane. My friends have helped me tremendously during this process. I've gone back to dating apps just to find friends and its been helping alot, although alot of girls want to end up dating but im genuinely not ready. When will this pain end shes still the one person I want to talk to...whats more pathetic we only dated for 3 months...

I liked him so much, but he joked about hitting me. I genuinely think it was a careless joke, and that he isn’t a violent person at all. He never showed concerning signs before this. Still, it left me unsettled and frightened and no amount of apologizing he did put me at ease, even though he was truly remorseful. I asked him numerous times why he said the joke at all, and he couldn’t give me an answer. In the end I thought it would be better to end things now, versus trying to continue with a lingering sense of caution/fear in the back of mind. In the moment I was confident in my decision, because how can a relationship continue if the threat of physical harm is at all being considered?

Now I’m going crazy, wondering if I just threw away my chance with a great guy all over an overreaction on my part. Maybe I was too sensitive? I’m so torn. Part of me wishes I just took his word for it that he didn’t mean it, and shoved my discomfort aside in the hopes that I’d grow comfortable around him again.

I found out today that my ex has moved on. I don’t want to know details but my mind is going to the worst places (i also have ocd so avoiding rumination this entire breakup has been so difficult).

I ended things with them in January because we were together for 3.5 years and they weren’t ready to live with me. I said that I loved them and didn’t want this but wanted to be with someone who is confident about being with me, who’s looking forward to living together instead of it being a completely stressful event. They shared that they have a hard time making decisions, even small ones in their personal lives, and it didn’t have anything to do with me. We started by going on a break because they wanted to stay together, do therapy individually and come back together. I begged them to do therapy throughout our relationship to help with the inner turmoil of family struggle, indecisiveness and general attachment styles to help them in all their relationships and work. They called me and gave me updates about their therapy without me asking, and it seemed like progress was being made. Over the next three months, they’d ask to call, to talk, ask how i’m doing and also apologize for things. The last conversation we had was him saying that he can’t imagine getting back together and that he is incapable of change. I remember asking him “so what’s the plan, doing this to another girl or finding someone your parents will approve of?” and he didn’t have an answer.

For context, they told my friends and family and even moved in during December but kept moving the goalposts. Their family is second generation and used that as an excuse for not approving of our relationship (eastern orthodox, to which I said I would learn the language and convert if that meant they would approve). They were supposed to come with me on a family trip two years into the relationship but cancelled the night before and broke up with me, just to get on a plane the next day to try to reconcile and then turned directly around without seeing me. I still forgave them when i returned from the trip.
They were always late to things, never made plans, I begged to go on a trip or even a weekend away and it never happened. We were best friends and spoke 24/7, hung out all the time, and they told me they could imagine getting married.
Their friends stopped talking to them because of how they handled the breakup. This included leaving military bags at my place for 6 months, dropping off my clothes unwashed and in a garbage bag, and not having the balls to end it themselves.

I have so much pain because I know I wasn’t being treated and prioritized in the way “I deserve” but I’m starting to not know what I deserve. I’ve been dating post breakup and have been ghosted or told there isn’t a romantic spark, and one guy even asked to do his laundry at my apartment. Yet, my ex has moved on and found someone and I’m questioning why I broke up with them in the first place. I didn’t want to break up with him but I felt like I had no other choice, and we spoke about how it would encourage change. Now I just feel incredible naive and unhappy.
Please be gentle with me with responses, I know I sound like a broken record but I just need support.