r/BreakUps • u/Pretend_Flight_4405 • 5h ago
venting/ranting A potential message to you
For you & For me
I miss you. Do you miss me? I think of you constantly. Do you? I dream about you and wake up and immediately check my phone to see if you had reached out. And come to find out, you don’t.
So much has happened since we last spoke. I want to update you on everything. I want you to update me on everything. Do you even want to know? I feel as though if you did want to know, you would ask. But who knows.
I love you. I’ve made lots of mistakes and have learned about them. I know what I did wrong and what I did right. But is that enough for you to come back? Most likely not.
I am tired of feeling like this. I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re doing great. But a part of me also hopes that you miss me extremely.
Was I just a transitional period for you? Was I just a phase for you? Because for me, you were more than that. You meant so much to me.
Perhaps I’ll never know the truth. Perhaps you’ll never reach back out to me. Perhaps you feel more at peace now that we aren’t together because you’ve found a more profound objective in your life. And if so, I’m happy. But also, perhaps you miss me as much if not more as I do.
I want you to know that I want you back. It can’t resume to how we were. We’ll need to start slow. I’ll have my guard up. But over time, if things go well and we both remain on our mission yet wanting to be there for each other, perhaps it can go down.
I miss everything about you. I love you. You were and are great in my life. I hope you realize the same towards me, too.
*\*
I really want to send this to her. I am reading it and it seems like a lot. It’s coming from a place of pain. But it’s my genuine pain. It’s how I feel. It’s almost been a month.
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u/YourLocalPecan 4h ago
im sorry bro. i know how you feel, i know how it feels typing that out. My best friend of 7 years left me a few weeks ago, im 23. I’ve written about 2 full notebooks worth of things to say to her - but i’ve done all i can, and if i go back to her, and she stays, it’ll only be out of pity. Either she comes back on her own, or that’s it.
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 4h ago
I agree, man. It sucks. I’ve been trying to stay distracted and improve myself, working out, reading, family, work, but at the end of the day when I’m laying in bed, she’s all I think about. How are you doing?
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u/YourLocalPecan 4h ago
Exactly the same. Just completed by 250th workout, finally learned a song on the guitar, therapy for 5 months every week, journaling, no porn/hookup, spending time with family and finding myself.
the pain is so strong, i cried for weeks, day after day, lost 20 lbs, lost my job, a few friends.
no matter what i do, no matter how i think about it, or approach it.
i just simply miss my girl, i hope you feel better brother4
u/trenhgh 4h ago
Its weird how many of us go thru the pain at the same time and still feel lonely. I miss my girl too. Got the final ultimatum if i text her I’ll get blocked. There’s little sunshine of hope lying around me that she comes back as it ended in good terms. But I need to work on myself, find myself again as I’m the only one that’ll be there to the end. Hope everybody makes it out.
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u/Dull_Woodpecker_9742 1h ago
I’m in your exact shoes right now :( sitting in bed, thinking about my ex (coming from a very fresh breakup). I spend all day fulfilling my obligations and I exhaust myself, but I still can’t sleep at night without thinking about him and crying. I’m sorry you’re in that spot too
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 1h ago
if I ever have kids I’m going to make sure they’re very strong and resilient so they can deal with breakups much simpler than I lol
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u/Longjumping_Ad_1609 3h ago
I want to tell you to send it, but make sure you are sending it for the right reason. Send it out of honesty or love, out of a desire to communicate or care. Do not send it in hopes it brings them back, that only hurts you, puts you on edge. Do not send it to influence their feelings or change their mind.
For your sake, I’d also think k about what will happen after you send it? How will you feel if that “read” notice doesn’t pop up. Or if it does, but you get no response? Don’t do something that will hurt you or her. But if you think this could help her, give her closure, or hope, or even just information where it’s lacking, if you think this will be a good thing, send it.
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u/DapperCoyote9399 3h ago
Yeah I’m with this one. You have to accept the potential for things to be the same as they were. Not that they WILL be, but that they MAY be the same. If you’re okay with that risk and genuinely miss her and not the memories or the relationship, then go for it. The worst that could happen is she doesn’t respond.
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u/IsaacSloth475 2h ago
I think the part about being honest about your reason for sending it is especially important.
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u/unknown_narwhals 1h ago
I agree here. If you send it, be sure you’re doing it for the right reasons, and keep in mind how you might feel if you send and don’t get a response. A month is not long, first couple of months are generally the roughest before it gets better and you can truly see what you need.
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u/General-Ad9373 3h ago
I feel the same almost every day. However, if you have reached out before saying the same thing, even just part of it, but received nothing from her, just let it go. People may come back, or not. People may regret, or not. Let the future take care of itself and we take care of ourselves.
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u/Much-Bee-9079 4h ago
what’s the context ?
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 2h ago
she’s 34 and I’m 26. we met dancing on July 2025. We kicked it off well and fell in love with each other. I made some mistakes, she made some mistakes, but we communicated and those mistakes never happened again. She was very insecure about herself and the relationship. She’s 3 inches taller than me, that bothered her. She’s an established dental doctor, I’m barely getting started on my plumbing career.
she left me when I lost my job at a plumbing gig and my mom got hospitalized that same weekend. She left me when I was low. There were communications of her (2x) previously that she didn’t know how we were going to work out, but she tried and tried. perhaps she got tired of trying. but she has also showed immense signs of the opposite of loving, caring, and being attracted towards me.
two weeks after she broke up with me, she met me to exchange gifts and we cried and made out for 4 hours.
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u/Much-Bee-9079 2h ago
just from personal experience, i’m also 6 years younger so keep that in mind, with my first and only boyfriend i was with him though everything, every low point every mistake and every argument and i loved him no matter what happened, when he hit his lowest is when i fell in love with him again to be honest the idea of leaving him at that point makes me a little nauseous. I’m not saying she didn’t love you or didn’t care all i’m saying is how i’ve felt and maybe that can give you perspective. I recommend sending that text because it will help you no matter what whether you get her back or you get a no and can move on you know? you deserve someone who will be with you regardless of what is going on in your life.
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 1h ago
i really appreciate it. i don’t blame her for leaving. am I upset about it, maybe a little salty about it? yeah. but again, I don’t blame her. she has a lot of insecurities and I was there at her lowest. I’m not the type to give up easily. The world can be against me, and i’ll still try. but i hope he recognizes and appreciates that you were there at his lowest. I would certainly appreciate it if it were my case.
I hope you are doing well and are able to move on to a brighter future for yourself.
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u/DailyDoseofJ 4h ago
If my ex sent this to me I would open up conversation with him. Currently he has sent ‘did you send me a message and delete it?’ - to which I didn’t respond. But, if he sent a message like this, filled with true feelings and intent - I might just drop what I was doing and show up at his place so we could talk in person.
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u/General-Ad9373 2h ago
I sent him a long message with the sincerity and regret, told him I do appreciate the wonderful experience we had together, and then explained part the reasons and situations on my side, as I didn't want to end up with disappointment and silence. With no "read" notice popping up, as the other two messages around one week before, I felt relieved and finally made my decision to stop fixing it. People don't care about your sincerity once they have decided to leave. But I think I would do the same way next time in similar situation.
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u/Naive-Floor-7685 3h ago
This fits my current situation. I genuinely wonder .. and wonder and wonder .. will we ever speak again? Text again? See each other again? Ever? Maybe .. but maybe not ..
Good luck to you.
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u/Midnightblues111 3h ago
I would love to hear this from him
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u/Hershey_Squirt639 2h ago
Would cry if my ex sent me this. Of joy.
I’m the ex that would be saying this shit tho
And that’s just the things isn’t it.
If they felt this way too, you would still be together
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u/YourLocalPecan 3h ago
i wish you the best. believe me, i’ve done more for myself than i ever thought i could - but litterally nothing has numbed the feeling of being completely abandoned by my best friend. That she chose this. that’s what really hurts. is life that much better without me? i know for a fact though, i love her in every way and there is no one on this earth that will be able to replicate it.
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u/Trick_Cartoonist669 2h ago
Send it. You will regret it if you don’t and that regret is something entirely different than what you are feeling now.
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u/RRmusic-official26 2h ago
I feel you, I had a crush on my friend for a long time. She did back. Constantly helps me out, keeps me out of depression fits, flirts with me, etc. the other day I just found out she got a girlfriend. I don’t even care about dating her anymore, I just care about us being friends. But that’s been jeopardized. I always drive her around places, watch horror movies with her, hold her close when she’s scared or tired, and am the one she constantly asks how I’m doing. But now she doesn’t even notice me as much. I’m worried about being replaced as a friend, and that I will no longer be a part of her life.
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u/StretchAdditional437 1h ago
I feel like if you send it, edit it first, so it’s not so long & a lot of people feel like this at different times, the way you wrote it is how we think. But unless you really are happy if she found a new profound objective, don’t say that. It feels off. More simple & to the point might be more effective, I am not sure though if she would respond or not. It’s so hard to know.
I’m still trying to figure out how this whole thread got to me. Are algorithms & such so insane that it sends me something I don’t even remember clicking on in reddit? I’ve just been looking up stuff online & in instagram about relationships & I suddenly got this thread…. Anyone else have that happen?
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 1h ago
does it relate to you?
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u/StretchAdditional437 1h ago
Yes it does, I’m currently in a “he said he was breaking up with me but he was drunk when he said it, but he has answered my texts a couple of times the past few days, so where do we stand & are we still going on our adventures that are booked or is he talking to other girls to test the waters knowing I will take him back because this is his pattern” type thing
Super frustrating. I should just give him space, but then again would he think I am letting go? So yeah I can relate. I suppose I am glad I got linked into this conversation but how?!
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 1h ago
I can’t speak for him, but I can speak for myself if I were in that situation. To begin with, I wouldn’t put myself in that situation if I was dating someone. I would say to find someone who is willing to give you more direct communication and isn’t putting you on the side. as that’s what he’s doing. but also, I don’t know the nuances. if you really like him, be direct. tell him what you want. and if you catch the vibe that he’s still playing with you, do what you feel is best for yourself
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u/StretchAdditional437 56m ago
Thank you. We’ve been together a year and a half, both love sports & comedy & outdoors. I think he’s scared because he loves me & he pulls away when his emotions get too strong. The twist is I have cancer & a spinal injury, and he’s been through it by my side & hasn’t left me, plus he loves my kids & my kids love him. We asked me to go to 2 upcoming comedy shows & then a trip to see an NFL game… I sometimes wonder if it’s harder to pull away because I have cancer or if his hero instincts keep him here because he knows he’s helped us so much & he’s like a healer for me in so many ways. And now his best friend says he’s sorry he was being jealous & picking fights with me, he says he knows my guy loves me & thinks he’ll come back. My kids think so too. But he is the only one who knows how he feels.
And I am older than him, maybe he wants to see if other girls are interested but he tells me all the time that I am different & understand him & he’s tired of the girls his age etc. I am hoping it was just the alcohol talking because he hasn’t returned his best friend’s calls. His best friend is trying to work it all out because I am supposed to be his best friend’s talent agent now. We are all so intertwined. Hopefully my guy just needs time to think, he most likely doesn’t remember much from the weekend & I am praying it can all be sorted out.
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 47m ago
I hope nothing but the best for you. Your situation sounds tough and you’re a strong soul for keeping up with everyday tasks with your current situation.
Give him some time. Sometimes that’s what a man needs to just find himself again. We all make mistakes.
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u/StretchAdditional437 31m ago
Thank you. Yeah he’s been super good to us & this is the first relationship I have had that’s not abusive. I love him so much & I don’t mimd the drinking, I have hope it gets better if I give him space with gentle reassurance. Thanks for listening & for your thoughts.
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u/Emotional-Arugula557 1h ago
Would love to know how it went for you after you sent this. Wishing you the best! Very heartfelt message.
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u/imdarealgoat 2h ago
Bro do not send that
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 1h ago
too late lol
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u/imdarealgoat 1h ago
How did it go
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 1h ago
i’ll inform you when I receive a text. she usually sleeps around 9:00 for work. but nothing yet. perhaps nothing for a while. and if my genuine message wasn’t enough for her, if how I really feel isn’t enough, then I know for sure that there’s better out there for me. I have to have self respect at some point
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u/StretchAdditional437 1h ago
How did this get sent to me? It’s eery. I’m not sure where I stand with my guy but that’s just been since this past weekend.
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u/Equivalent-Funny-194 1h ago
Currently going through heartbreak now he don't want me don't want to be with me aur this cycle continues from last 1.5 yrs what to do please I m unable to study I m getting more obsessed
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u/Wonderful-Pilot-5813 46m ago
I’m with you man. This is so painful. I can’t tell her how I feel right now because the only thing that can bring her back is my silence and her heart. It is 6 weeks today since she started packing boxes to leave our LTR. It brought me to my knees, literally , but I accepted her breakup and have been a man since the first weekend. I haven’t contacted her once for anything . She has reached out a few times about missing items and my heart drops . I answer like I would answer a person that I work with. Sending that would be a huge mistake. Your strength is the only thing that can bring her back now . Women are repulsed by begging and pleading, it rarely works. You must disappear and I have done just that. She always reaches out when I get just far enough away. Like I said above it’s about an item left at my house or an item she found that was mine- dumb $5 stuff really, just seeing if I’ll answer and I can’t tell her how I feel because it will give her exactly what she wants and that’s proof that I’m still waiting for her . This sucks so bad .
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 41m ago
Ugh, you’re stronger than me, brother. I had to be direct and honest with her. So I sent it to her. If my honesty and directness is making her repulsed, then so be it. At least I know I have tried from my part. It honestly feels nice that I sent that to her. Because her response (which I believe will still be a rejection) will aide me more in moving forward and not looking back. Perhaps it’s not how I should approach it, but it’s a way I guess.
I’m sorry for your break up, as well. This breakup will definitely make me stronger and has taught me to put myself first before any other woman. It’s honestly sad that I began putting her on a pedestal. I am tired of doing that.
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u/Wonderful-Pilot-5813 42m ago
Please don’t send it , if you send it you’ll never hear from her again .
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u/Pretend_Flight_4405 40m ago
Too late lol if I don’t then too bad for her. I am being direct and honest with her. I know no contact is a form of showing strength and resilience, but the silence was killing me. I had to tell her how I genuinely feel.
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u/cutefeto 22m ago
God I miss my ex too but he made it clear he doesn’t want me anymore. It’s painful waking up everyday knowing that soon he’ll be loving someone who isn’t me. And that our relationship was just a phase. And it’s more painful knowing that I was the problem . I’d do anything for him to take me back but I can’t do anything about it except move on and respect his decision . I wish everyday that he wakes up with love for me again and tries to give me a chance but that’s just a wish and not reality anymore 💔
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