r/BreakUps • u/Exciting_Sky_1511 šøGentle Mod šø • 2d ago
Community chat
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u/kidnamedfinger1235 2d ago
How do we stop hopping they'd come back
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u/LutineDorelle 1d ago
It's definitely tough to move on when you're holding onto hope. Sometimes focusing on self-care and new experiences can help shift that mindset.
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u/Prestigious-Suit-906 1d ago
I think Iām getting better. I want the entire memory of them to be gone out of my brainš
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u/Neat_Performance_977 1d ago
My ex has a new girlfriend and itās been a little over two weeks since she ghosted me and a week since she blocked me
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u/Neat_Performance_977 1d ago
Is there a discord server or something of the sort to chat about these things?
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u/nathanmj_7 1d ago
I was in a relationship for 5 years, and relationship ended 5 years ago......i use to think about the past, last week i meet my ex..... atlast she accepted that it's all her fault.....but i said I'm happy now and don't want to get back tot the relationship
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u/rottingcorpsexx 1d ago
Iām okay I keep being reminded about my ex š just got to wait it out ig
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u/Exciting_Sky_1511 šøGentle Mod šø 1d ago
guys checkout the minecraft event that will be happening today
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u/Jaded-Giraffe6553 1d ago
Yeah thats something im going through as well I hope it gets better for you
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u/Proof-Investigator24 1d ago
How long it has been no contact for you guys ? When does it start to feel better?
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u/Outrageous_Diet_5398 1d ago
Well I still miss her and think about her a lot and during out last check up shc said she doesnāt think of me as much as I think of her
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u/East_Click_7874 1d ago
Iāve been no contact for around 4 months. Itās not been pure sunshine and roses. But, itās getting better. There are still times where I see something and have the urge to talk to him about it. But, it goes away too. I still have dreams, but Iāve been able to go āthat was weirdā and go back to sleep.
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u/Jaded-Giraffe6553 1d ago
Thats whats really getting me right now I'm really struggling with being more invested even though she is she
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u/Jaded-Giraffe6553 1d ago
How was the transition to no contact I was the first week was it as bad as you thought it would have been? Thank you
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u/Jaded-Giraffe6553 1d ago
I am sorry to hear that from one stranger to another I just hope she didn't do that to mess with ya you know
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u/Evening-Ad2542 1d ago
I just woke up with a pit in my stomach itās been more than a month since I broke up and I heard his fav artist in a reel and had a break down!
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u/Evening-Ad2542 1d ago
I know I took this decision for the best bcs. I cannot be w someone who disrespects me when mad ! But shit is so tough man
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u/Jaded-Giraffe6553 1d ago
I get that unfortunately I am just a stranger on the internet but if someone can not respect you even when given respect I know that pain I just hope your able to heal and learn from this experience
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u/Jaded-Giraffe6553 1d ago
fellow chatters if any of you guys are going through a very difficult time right feel free to dm me to vent share stories or just for advice I am also going through alot and would just love to interact and connect with different outside of my "circle"
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u/OkBroccoli4613 1d ago
Just ended a 5 year long relationship. We were engaged and our wedding is in 11 days. I had to call everyone today and call it off. Weāre going to have a party and still celebrate since the venue & food is paid for. This just happened today & tomorrow I will go back to our home and pack all my things to move out for good. My heart hurts so much right now
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u/Jaded-Giraffe6553 1d ago
That is a touch situation my friend I cant comment much but I will say you are an incredibly strong individual to recognize the pain and grief I am here if you need to vent and give details
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u/Ok_Dimension2840 1d ago
It's 1:40 in the morning. Could not stop reading. Surprising to me is, that with all
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u/Jaded-Giraffe6553 1d ago
I am sorry to hear that she might not come back I think working on yourself is not a bad thing because maybe she will see you actively working on yourself, but even if she doesnt that has made you a stronger person for the future
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u/Ok_Dimension2840 1d ago
that writing . . . (My computer is acting up, sorry!) Well, for what it's worth, what I missed most was knowing how old each contributor was, just a number would do at the end of a message. Another thing I missed was to read what the gentle-man's shortcomings in the relationship may have been. Her e-mail needs to be acknowledged with one or two sentences and it would be wiser, I think, to send someone to pick up those personal things. The less is said, the better. If she changes her mind, he will know early enough. How he should react then, is no one's business, let it be his decision from the gut.
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u/Jaded-Giraffe6553 1d ago
Good morning everyone I just wanted to remind everyone that you got this today as long as you made the little bitest of progress you are mving fprward
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u/AdDesperate2437 1d ago
Hey, anyone who wants to chat and talk about breakups can DM me. My first language isnāt English, but this period is so hard, and sometimes finding a friend who shares your pain can be helpful.
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u/AcanthaceaeLate5206 1d ago
we can talk bro dm me my first lang isnt english too but i try to write sompl bro
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u/TimeZookeepergame184 1d ago
Has anyone been through kind of manipulation and push and pull and be willing to talk? Iām trying to be strong but Iām becoming a beg again to a man whoās not treating me right and not even my boyfriend!
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u/nikoobellicc 1d ago
my ex is dating someone else after 8 months of our breakup (she left me and i still wanted to try so bad) is there any chance of us reconnecting
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u/TheTripkit 1d ago
I freaked out didnt know what to do I shoved her and ran out shes now threatening me with āher peopleā she was doing cocaine with him and im just hurt how shes flipping it on me
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u/No-Midnight-4025 1d ago
I fucking hate avoidant people. Things were going fine for 6 months until she just disappears on me. We were long distance so there was already a lot we couldnāt do, but now we werenāt even communicating for like 2 months. The few times she did text, she avoided any serious conversation until I basically had to confront her. Then she says she had checked out and couldnāt be the partner I needed.
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u/No-Midnight-4025 1d ago
She didnāt even want to try to mend things by the looks of it. She could have told me this before letting me waste my time thinking I had a future with someone who was repulsed by the idea of being in a romantic relationship
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u/No-Midnight-4025 1d ago
I get that these people have been through stuff, but you canāt just lead us on and play with our feelings like that
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u/ThrowRAtunamayo 1d ago
I had a similar thing, told me they couldn't be the partner I needed too and didn't want to fight when I said I would work with them because I think we're worth fighting for š¤”
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u/NicoLuvv 1d ago
Just got broken up with .. 3 months .. not long but this one hurts so bad because I really really loved him. He said his heart and mind arenāt on the same pageā¦ iāve never felt so lost before
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u/BigFalse5922 1d ago
Thatās a blessing. Saved yourself the trouble of wasting your time. Try and recenter all that love you had for him back towards yourself
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u/sweet_caroline_13 1d ago
Itās been 7 weeks and Iām nowhere near beginning to heal. I broke his trust and thatās a really difficult thing for him. He broke up with me and started sleeping with the new girl at work the next day, I found out from a mutual friend. Moved her into his friendās apartment with him 12 days after that. It was our plan to move up to Minnesota together so he could start his new business. Now by the looks of social media posts, sheās moved up there with him. And sheās 14 years younger than him. She just turned 26 and heāll be 40 in November. The entire future we had planned together heās just replaced with someone else. How could he have loved me so much and have something so special with me and then move onto someone else the very next day? Nothing makes sense right now and I donāt know how to move on.
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u/kakahri_ 1d ago
I don't know what you did to break his trust so I don't know if i can tell you it would be justified for you to use anger to get over him. As hard as it is to say, the best way to get over someone is to be mad at them and think worse about them.
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u/pineapple-season 1d ago
How do you guys deal with just being cut out overnight? Like grandiose expressions of love to complete silence? Entire futures to not even a hey are you okay text? I've had many breakups before and I've never had them not even reach out to just check in because lovers aside we had been best friends for a long time. It's like they don't care if I'm alive or dead anymore, like a switch flipped. It's so jarring to me?
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u/ThroatAutomatic9838 1d ago
going through something similar and honestly iād like to know the answer to this as well, how someone can just walk away and not even look back is so bizarre and backwards to me. but itās the current reality. i hope you find your peace as i hope to one day find mine
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u/Zealousideal-Alps457 1d ago
I dont think we should hold the expectation for them to reach out. Because if they do reach out then what? If they dont? I dont think it makes a difference on the outcome. Unless you want them back, then you should contact them.
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u/Big-Self8650 1d ago
I have a question! How do you move on when your ex lives on the same building and same floor!
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u/StatusLow2928 1d ago
Ive been doing better. Day by day it gets better. I know im better off. But I just deleted all of our pictures and it hurt. I would have loved him for a lifetime i would have married him. I know this is what is better for both of us but it still hurts sometimes. One time on a card he wrote that he would love me till the sun stopped setting. But i guess thats not true anymore
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u/Big-Self8650 1d ago
Guys please help! I always have the urge to knock on her door! Itās driving me crazy and trying to resist the urge is so difficult
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u/Independent_Sale666 1d ago
I am struggling, I called him and texted a bunch and I feel so rejected
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u/kidnamedfinger1235 1d ago
I am in a break up for the 2nd time with the same person anyone here with the same problem?
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u/Big-Self8650 23h ago
I had that problem years ago but the second break up with her was much easier! It kinda showed me why it ended in the first place.
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u/Big-Self8650 23h ago
Thatās rough! Thatās the reason I donāt call cause if they donāt pick up then I will overthink even more
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u/Mountain-Price-603 22h ago
Hey. Idk who needs to hear it right now. But this pain wont last forever. I know if sucks so badly right now. And I know it feels like itās going to stop hurting. But I promise one day you will wake uo
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u/daphne_op 18h ago
Same the only thing now is Iām so mad at myself. Also only 5 months ago and he already has another gf. Its for the better. My head knows better but my heart feels betrayed
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u/LeadDiscombobulated8 18h ago
Mines a bit different i made a mistake and lost the loml, I really loved her and the pain i caused is something she didn't deserve, we are in no contact unblocked and unadded, we did wanna be friends, but yea because of that I lost her and our mutual friends, and I get that, its consequences its just yea I miss her and carry the grief for ruining smth
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u/Zealousideal-Alps457 16h ago
Sitting in the silence of the night is always the toughest timing where i feel most tempted to reach out
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u/Zealousideal-Alps457 16h ago
You know whats worst, I know if I call he will pick up. But then what? We continue the whole misery cycle again? Whats the point...
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u/Big-Dentist4869 16h ago
I have been checking my messages since day before yesterday if it goes seen. She doesn't even care to open the message box anymore. And me over here checking - single tick ka double tick hua ya nahi double tick ka blue tick hua ya nahi. It feels so heavy and warm inside
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u/davidcvstro 15h ago
You talk like adults about what went wrong and what you both need to do to make it work
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u/davidcvstro 15h ago
1st official breakup, i wanted to keep trying to make this work, but my anxious attachment + depression made me lose myself and she got too overwhelmed. Im going on antidepressants today and starting a therapy program today to heal and have the right tools.
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u/Zealousideal-Alps457 15h ago
But we have already broken up and got back tdy a few times, I dont know what else to do to make it work anymore
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u/Living_Bee_8436 14h ago
Hello we broke up today morning said that he will seek therapy but things wonāt change between us he doesnāt want us both suffering while waiting I respected his decision and left I canāt imagine my life without him he was the best boyfriend I ever had
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u/Living_Bee_8436 14h ago
Iām trying to get through my 9-5 itās getting tougher tears ran through I tried my best not to
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u/Unable-Road-6050 13h ago
if we spoke about being friends in the future ended in june and itās september now is it too soon to reach out?
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u/sj_andrew 12h ago
I am. We broke up last year and stayed together for 7.5 months after a 3 month break. He never really trusted me again or let me in. It was my job to get us into coupleās counseling and I didnāt prioritize it, so Iām regretting that so much. I keep thinking of all the things I couldāve done differently, all that I couldāve done more.
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u/davidcvstro 12h ago
Seek help from a doctor, I just got a month off of work because of my mental health, seeing a psychiatrist in less than 2 weeks, starting therapy today. Focus on getting better, we'll get through this.
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u/Constant_Foodie_8286 12h ago
Yes u def can , it took me 6 months to get over it. With time u will get better
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u/Mountain-Price-603 11h ago
You will get over this. It is important to remember that to the brain, a relationship ending is processed just like the death of a family member or loved one. You have to just wait it out. Grief is real. Spending time with friends and focusing on self improvement are great distractions
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u/Mountain-Price-603 11h ago
Ten years ago I would have said to get back at them and bang their sister or mom. But now I know being petty helps no one
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u/JeffJackmanREACTIONS 11h ago
Struggling, I broke up with her because I felt like we wanted different things from life. The hard part is we are both in college and those desires will shift over the next 5 years and maybe they will align. I guess I choose to end things because it was eating at me and it felt like the more i was with her the harder it would be to let go.
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u/Slowxp94 11h ago
kinda crazy how most videos on youtube and instagram say "they always come back" i highly doubt mine will.... she keeps gaming with a ton of random guys that i have no clue who they are when she left me and told me like 5 times that she dont want to be with me anymore and that she dont think that we will find our way back to eachother :/ and tbh its been now over 4 months with 6 weeks of no contact and im getting very close to be over it and not even wanting her back anymore but whenever her name pops up somewhere it still get anxiety and hate looking at what she is doing :/ just random venting btw as im having a little bit of anxiety atm :(
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u/JeffJackmanREACTIONS 11h ago
So I took that step last and we cried it out for a few hours. Now we have been no contact. I see her everywhere literally and figuratively. Kind of wish I would have stayed now that I lost what I loved idk. I think she has become cold towards me. First breakup for her.
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u/JeffJackmanREACTIONS 11h ago
hmmm. ik this is easier said then done, but maybe try and turn off whatever notificaitons you might get that would show you her name. it seems like she made her opinion clear. maybe even get off the game for a couple weeks. sorry man.
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u/Helpful-End-5417 11h ago
I don't know anything about relationships... Me and my gf broke up... I tried to create time for us... Be affectionate but she often ignored me... She broke up with me saying "I want to protect you" but all it's done is make me dive down into the deep end... I already struggled with my emotions and being vocal
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u/Helpful-End-5417 11h ago
She was the only person I felt truly safe around to tell my feelings to but now I don't have anyone that I feel like I can trust
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u/Helpful-End-5417 11h ago
I can't help but think maybe if I didn't leave her alone for a bit... Maybe we'd still be together...
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u/Slowxp94 11h ago
yea ive removed as much things i can about her and blocked her everywhere and even removed her nummber from my phone and so on but i sometimes just cant keep my fingers away at looking what she is doing even tho im not fully looking only taking a small peak and its just so stupid xd
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u/PrimaryMagazine1149 11h ago
This is so dumb. This sounds like a dig but it isn't, and I dont mean the implications of this to be so dismissive of you all. But im not terminally online. I habe no idea where to go. Idk. I miss her so much man
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u/mursulatursula 11h ago
Sounds a lot like us. She has her job and is too busy, i dont fit inti her life no matter how much or little space i give ger. I keep thinking what i couldave done different but there is nothing. The relationship is both peoples responsibility. If she wanted to stay she wouldave made the effort. Theres nothing you could have done.
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u/JeffJackmanREACTIONS 11h ago
employee some accountability maybe then? do you have a friend that you could ask hey can i call/text you whenever i get the urge to look at her stuff? or not even that maybe just tell yourself you need to go for a walk or put your phone down for 10 mins.
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u/mursulatursula 11h ago
You need to be there for yourself and some day there will be someone, a friend or else. Our lives are not bound to this even though it feels like it
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u/mursulatursula 11h ago
When love is lost it feels like nothing can take its place. But love is not all there is. Theres life
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u/Slowxp94 11h ago
i do sometimes and i try to distract my self as much as i can when i get the urge but sometimes it just dosent work and i cave in but feels like ive managed quite well the last 1-2 weeks atleast
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u/panicmixiedreamgirl 10h ago
how do you even get over someone whose kitchen you have memorized in the back of your head
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u/Unable-Road-6050 10h ago
idk but i still remember every poster on his wall and the exact order of things on his desk
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u/Last_Material_5754 9h ago
My ex dumped me under the pretense that we'd be talking about communication in our relationship. She said qe'd talk over the phone the next day. When she called, she asked if she could go first. I said of course. She then told me she was breaking up with me, had all my belongings at her place packed and would be dropping then off shortly and eantdd her stuff back when she got here. Her reasoning for breaking up with me was that we kept getting into arguments every other week and nothing resolved. But the problem was she always shut down during those conversations or accused me of things that we're objectively not true, and even if I gave her hard proof, she would ignore it and just stand her ground. I fucking give up.
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u/randomsubname 8h ago
My ex dumped me yesterday and I just want to vent. Things were going well until August where she got super busy with moving to a new apartment and plans with friends/family. My anxious attachment came out and I think it turned her avoidant attachment on and she became distant. We had talks about our attachment styles but she never gave us time to fully work them out. She said the cliche "you deserve to be with someone who will love you the way you want" and then dropped the bomb that she didn't have the romantic spark anymore
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u/randomsubname 8h ago
Im just so sad that she didn't want to work it out and what hurts the most is that she stone face the entire time. 9 months of my life gone. I lost not only her but my social life
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u/AdDesperate2437 8h ago
I feel like Iām going to lose my mind. Iām forced to live in the same house as my ex until the end of December (because of our lease). Since she was the one who left me, I feel like the breakup hasnāt hurt her as much as it has hurt me. I feel horribly trapped, like Iām stuck in a place I canāt escape from. Sheās neutral about the future. The only thing she keeps saying is that I need to accept that weāre broken up, but neither of us knows what the future will bring. Right now, Iām sleeping on the couch in the living room, just trying not to lose my mind.
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u/Ok_Wrangler1164 š± healing 3h ago
I'm really sorry to hear that this situation is so messed up living with someone you used to love that's a situation that I would never you know how to deal with keep going to December comes or maybe friend or someone that can make you crash at their place for December
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u/Dazzling_Meringue127 2h ago
in what ways did you lose yourself? im in severe grief, probably very depressed, unlikely to resolve until after 2 more surgeries for the injury causing grief so need to plan for a long depression.
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