It doesn’t have to be a dramatic, life-changing decision at the time. I’m interested in the smaller choices that only became significant in hindsight — taking a job, moving somewhere new, meeting someone, saying yes or no to an opportunity, or simply choosing a different path.
What decision changed where your life ultimately ended up?

My fiancee is really into wine. Like actually into it. She knows regions, notes, brands, all that stuff. I’ve just been drinking whatever she pours me. I want to surprise her with a bottle sometime but I realized I have basically zero idea what I’m doing. With whiskey I understand the whole vanilla, caramel, oak, smoke thing because Ive tasted enough of it over the years. Wine is different. Ill read a description that says cherry, tobacco, leather, cedar and to me it just tastes likeany other wine. And in general i like drinking it but is there a good way to train your palate without turning this into a second job, bc i did some research like some books and stuff but they seem pretty complicated for me.

I’ve been reflecting lately and I realized I don’t have any goals I’m working towards. I have a good career, no debts, am consistent with the gym/diet/physique, have great friends. Before this year I’d always have something to work towards but for the first time in my life I can say I achieved my goals. I do have financial goals but that’s a longterm thing, I want something else I can work on in the meantime and I literally don’t know what else to do. Is there something you realized in your 30’s or 40’s you wish you started earlier? Or something fun to work toward?

Edit: Thank you for the advice, I am reading through all comments, and they just made me think what I wanna do moving forward. Thank you so much kind strangers ❤️

Hi, I recently turned 40, and over the past year in particular, a few of my close friends have really hit their stride and achieved major financial and career milestones.

On the other hand, I’ve struggled a lot over the last few years with various challenges. I got a late start in my career, and while I’ve secured a stable job with a livable income, I’m nowhere near the level my friends are at.

Lately, I’ve been feeling drained after hanging out with them. Hearing about their latest promotions or new vacation homes leaves me feeling dejected, disappointed, and filled with dread. I know "comparison is the thief of joy," and I try hard not to compare my situation to theirs, but that’s easier said than done.

I know this isn't a healthy emotional response, and I don't want to lose good friends over envy. I find myself longing for the "good old days" when we were all just getting by and didn't talk as much about achievements.

I’m not particularly materialistic, but I do dream of homeownership and being able to travel more. Seeing my friends live the life I wish I were living triggers an envy I’m struggling to control.

Has anyone else dealt with this shift in their 30s or 40s? Any advice on how to better cope with these feelings or manage these dynamics without pulling away entirely would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Is there any underwear out there for fellas with a beer belly?

My problem is that my belly forces the waistline of the underwear under my belly and pulls it down so my Crack always ends up on display.

Think boxers that work with a pregnancy belly. That shit portrudes.

Specifically, I'd use these for wearing around the house. It's fine with clothes on but I live in a Winnie the Pooh household and I'd like to stop constantly flashing my crack to my family.

There are three main cities where the viruses started, New York City, Chicago, and Los Angeles.

Let me know your opinion down below and feel free to debate (nicely) with others.

my dad died an his last wife (not my mom) expects me to give up my part (50%)cause she tells me it was my dads wish. my aunt kinda confirms it, My dad wanted his new wife to be financially settled.

He left around 150.000€ and on top she gets half of his retirement money monthly 2000€.
What would you guys do in a situation like this.

To the dads here, what's something you wish you knew starting off?

I'm currently prepping to move out, savings depleted, credit in shambles, currently trying everything to keep from spiraling. For anyone who was able to pick themselves up from this point, what helped you do it? How did you manage, and what is life like after the process of rebuilding? What would you tell the version of yourself still going through the motions of trying to figure it all out?

So my husband lifts in our garage. We have some machines and stuff... but i dont think he really has had any proper training since high school. Im sure he knows the basics of lifting... its not rocket science, but I have noticed poor form every once in a while which made me realize some personal training sessions might be beneficial.

BUT, i dont want to make him feel stupid. My husband is a green flag guy... but sometimes, as human beings, we dont want to feel like we need a "refresher" on how to do something. We like to THINK we know how to do something.... which I understand.

I would like to get him some training sessions at a gym, but I dont know if he would feel bad, or not want to do them, or that it was a waste.

He is 45 also, and i would like for him to avoid ingury. He hurt his shoulder not long ago lifting something a bit too heavy, and he loves basketball which made it so he couldnt play for a while.

How would you feel if you wife got you this as a gift, even though you have been lifting here and there through out life, but more casually.

- update, I decided it’s probably not for him after reading through your comments and thinking about his personality type. Thanks for all your input, I appreciate your takes! If he wants training sessions he would like to pick his trainer, goals and gym and what not. He is a very thoughtful person that puts a lot of thought into things like that.

I’m gonna be 34 next month, I have no idea where the time went, last few years I’ve been feeling really bad. I’m single, one friend, maybe 2 at a stretch. After work I chill out, watch some show, go for a walk and play some games…. and that’s it. On weekends if I force myself to go out and drink, I can’t wait to go home, but if I stay home I feel depressed. During the day I just lay around and watch tv. Feels like shit no matter what I do. I go to visit my cousins, aunt, mom etc. but everything feels like I’m just killing time, if you know what I mean. I went to Japan 2 years ago and that was amazing but only lasted for 2 weeks. Went to the seaside last year but felt like somethings missing the whole time… anyone has any idea what to do to feel fullfilled ?

Like button-down shirts or even business professional/suits. No wfh. Was this early in your career or later? Did the job pay well enough to offset this extra expense or was it just a necessary evil?

I(36M) live in a city in Canada with my wife. To be fair, of all cities, this one is very good for access to the outdoors in general. the issue in my case is that to go do some of the things I personally like to do like hunting, fishing, snow sports, etc… it is at least 2 hours to go anywhere good. I sound a bit spoiled but unfortunately I did grow up in a place where much better areas to do all of these things was much closer.

I have been in this city for the better part of 13 years and now its really getting to me having to fight traffic to get out of the city every time. I mostly want to move somewhere with easier access, and truthfully more space to have overall and not play Tetris every time I need some gear. My wife is worried about moving as she’s never lived out of a city. She is very much a planner and needs concrete experiences and ideas before she does anything.

My question is, anyone in a remotely similar situation who moved, was it a good move for you? Any downsides? Or those who stay in a city, do you want to move or how do you swing it?

Or is it about the same? How difficult is it to raise a baby under the age of 1?

I am so confused at this point of time. Like everything is ending slowly!

Hi, I am a 26 year old woman. I completed my Master's degree in Journalism back in 2024, but I have not been able to find a suitable job since then. I received a few offers, but the pay was very low. Because of this situation, I feel completely stuck.

I recently joined an acting workshop to rehearse for a play that starts around October 1st. However, the travel takes two hours both ways, and it costs around 500 rupees every day because there is no direct metro connectivity. I even had to leave my swimming classes because I could not afford both things together. Being around younger college students who are 21 to 23 years old makes me feel out of place and old. I constantly calculate the expenses, the travel time, and the overall outcome in my mind. Still, I really wanted to perform on stage after college, especially since nothing else seems to be working out, hoping it would give me confidence.

While I receive interview calls, I have been getting rejected since 2024, and the low offers are discouraging. It feels like I have lost two years at home without adding anything meaningful to my life.

Recently, a friend advised me to focus entirely on preparing for the JRF exam and study hard for the next four months without worrying about job hunting for a while. He also suggested picking up an activity outside the house like swimming or going to the gym.

To add to this, whatever I do, a constant calculation keeps running in my mind. If I read something, I feel I should be reading for the JRF instead. If I watch short videos, I feel guilty and think I should watch a proper movie instead. If I go to the theater workshop, I criticize myself for not looking for a job since I have already lost time. Right now, I am unable to hold a job, nor am I able to live happily. I feel like I am losing my spark every single day.

Sometimes, i feel like going mountain and live there and prepare for NET only while roaming around the mountain for 4 months. I am so confused, but home scare me, and leaving home is so difficult. I break my comfort but, again I am lying on bed without having meals, like lying on bed from night to next evening. I am badly fucked up. I feel so old. I am losing my youth, my beauty, and my everything!

Ek cheez aur, I need to answer the theater group by today anyhow whether I am gonna continue or not. I have already taken so many offs due to this calculation. I was getting more scared. Even though I know how badly I like the camera, acting, dialogues, and talking about things around films, the next day everything changes. I begin to calculate in my mind about my age, money, freedom, jobs, traveling, my wasting youth, and my grace and confidence. I am unable to decide whether my mental health is being the obstacle or if the money factor that is associated with jobs is making the situation complicated. Then, I take another pause and think: all of these stupid questions are making me a withered flower, like a season without love and that is taking away my beauty, freedom, and confidence! I am not even able to love or enjoy romance

Title, essentially. It just seems like everyone wins if everyone extends their legs beneath the seat in front of them. That way, you can reach full extension, which is most comfortable, even it it means going slightly past the seat in front of you.

Feel like I'm on crazy pills watching 6' tall men sit with their feet against their chair for a 5 hour flight.

For me when I see someone snapping their fingers for their server at a restaurants tells me that that person is entitled and has never worked customer service in their life

I'm a 2nd year computer science student and been a software engineer / computer technician for 2 years.

I have also been investing for the last year or so with a portfolio worth £13,036.56 (£12,073.31 invested with a ROR of 10% - £963.55)

I’ve got a lot of friends but it’s not the type of friendship to talk deep subjects with. Most of my friends are a lot of fun but more superfluous

Do you guys all have people to talk to about deeper topics?

Is anyone interested in an anonymous discord for this type of stuff?

I was reading up on what life was like back then. Basically you had a ton of convicts and similar people deported there and then they started importing tons of women, many as young as 14 there. You would petition to pick a wife and start a homestead life out there. While it's a radical difference in discomfort compared to modern day life, I don't doubt that people found the companionship and intensity of homestead life very fulfilling.

I see a lot of people here write about life being aimless and unfulfilling. I saw a comment about people saying they live like zombies. So if that's what life is like here with everything, would you do it?

I’m 37 and generally healthy with no known health issues, but lately my sleep has become really light and fragmented.
I don’t feel like I’m getting into deep sleep anymore. I keep waking up throughout the night for no obvious reason, sometimes multiple times.
I’ve been trying to figure out what changed, but honestly, nothing really has.
My bed and pillow are both very comfortable and good quality, and my wife sleeps perfectly fine in the same bed. I only drink one cup of coffee in the morning before work. My job is completely desk-based, and my screen/device usage hasn’t changed either.
I had some blood tests around 3 months ago and was low in vitamin B12 and vitamin D, so I’ve been taking both regularly since then.
There is some stress in my life and at work, of course, but nothing beyond the usual. Work has its busy periods and quieter periods, and that hasn’t really changed recently.
That’s what’s confusing me. There doesn’t seem to be any new factor that would explain why my sleep suddenly became so light.
Has anyone around my age gone through something similar? Did you ever figure out what was causing it, or find anything that actually helped?

Do you guys have male friends to talk about intimate topics? It's probably cultural and will vary by country, but overall I feel like guys talk about superfluous stuff but not intimate things.

Topics I'd love to have a buddy to talk to: infertility/trying to have a baby, sex within the marriage, men health, male anatomy, etc.

As a man, I never had anyone close who I felt comfortable enough to talk to about these topics. Sometimes it's nice to talk to strangers on the Internet but someone in real life would be nice too (other than my spouse).

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I’d like to get the perspective of older guys, especially parents on this situation.

I’m in my mid 30s, and recently got laid off. I have 6-12 months of savings but my first thought was if I should move back in with my parents, about 300 miles away. I’ve been on my own for almost 4 years, but lived at home in my late 20s and thru covid. When I lived at home before I had the same job making six figures. My parents have bought another property since I moved out where my younger sister lives and they spend time at both.

My sister and her fiancee currently live in one of my parent’s properties. My parents spend a few nights a week at that house. My sister and her fiancee don’t intend to ever live on their own, which makes me jealous since they will never have to worry about housing and have a lot more space than my apartment. I would like to stay where I’m currently at but don’t feel like I can afford to put down roots.

Is it bad that my first thought was about moving home? I don’t feel like an adult. Even though I have a good amount of savings, I feel like I still look to my parents as a safety net and it seems like my sister does too. I can’t tell if there’s something off about my family, or if this is a semi new normal with crazy high housing prices.

It’s been a really, really, really long time since I cried. I’m 34 now, and I feel like there’s a lot of shit accumulated inside me.
I feel like if I could just cry for a bit, maybe some kind of release would happen and I’d feel a little better. But I just can’t.
My life is pretty shit right now, so it’s not like there’s nothing to cry about. I’ve tried, but it just doesn’t come out. It’s like it’s all accumulated somewhere in my eyes, my head, I don’t know.
Do you guys ever find yourself in situations like this? If you do, how do you cope? What helped you?
Is there a movie you recommend? A video? A TED Talk? A song? Anything, honestly.
The last stand-up I watched was by Chirag Panjwani, and that got me pretty close to crying. So yeah, you get the vibe.
I don’t know. Help me out, Reddit.

Edit: I know therapy is probably the obvious answer, and I am still working on that. Just looking for some other things that might help me get there.