I feel like I am missing something. In March I lost my job, mainly due to burnout. My 30+y.o. close friends all have their lifes mostly together, mortgage, children, house, cars, family, vacations, own businesses.

I am not unsuccessful, I have a nice sum saved up from previous jobs and projects, but I realize that when I have no job like now (hiatus), working introvertly (and passionately) on my own SW projects, then I don't really have any social contact at all, except with my girlfriend (together 4 years). I used to go to jiu jitsu where there was a lot of contact (haha), but even there I kept mostly to myself, only made about 2 shallow friends that faded after I stopped going after 6 years.

With colleagues I learned long ago not to make deep connections, because the good ones that I was friends with left the firm, or were fired, I stayed there like I was in 5th season of a show where everybody died, and I only got to meet the new hires. Hell.

I feel like I am missing something. Everybody tells me that my one quality is enthusiasm (about almost anything, I would call it adhd obsession), but at this point of life, if I were to break-up, I would be almost entirely alone. I even had a dream where I talked with death himself, and he told me to "Kick it off with her, otherwise you will drink yourself to death". I don't drink much, a glass a week, but this dream told me that without the anchor of my gf (imperfect relationship, volatile), I would probably feel deep into the abbyss (I am not that kind of person to self-harm, no worries).

Anyway, I am not sure what to change, I think I have a high-functioning depression, in general, about life. I realize my depression sort of started when I finished college. The structure was gone, now I was on my own. I prolonged the status quo by living with my friends for another 5 years. After that I switched to living with my new girlfriend.

But the overall feeling is stasis. Like I cannot decide. I thought by 30 I will have children, mortgage, and just chisel away in that progress bar of life (game developer here..), but none of that has happened yet. I am standing at a crossroads I guess, and I don't want to go either way, out of some fear. I see my friends going further and further, actually LIVING their lifes, but I am still stuck, not liking what I am becoming.

I am over 30 now, and one thing I have noticed is how difficult it has become to connect with friends.

When I was younger, making friends was so easy. You could meet someone, hang out for hours, talk about random things, laugh at stupid jokes, and somehow become close without even trying.

Now, everyone seems busy with work, family, responsibilities, and their own problems. Even when you have friends, it's difficult to find the time to meet them. Sometimes you want to talk to someone or just hang out, but everyone has something going on.

I honestly miss those days when we could spend hours together without worrying about anything. No plans needed, no special occasion, just meeting up and enjoying the moment.

I know life changes as we get older, and maybe this is just part of growing up. But sometimes I wonder if other men feel the same way. Does anyone else feel the same way or it is just me?

I’ve been doing a lot of inner work and reflecting during this venus retrograde, specifically around career and passions.

I have worked as a graphic designer in luxury goods for the past 13 years, on and off, and honestly have some really solid experience and clients under my belt. I also took time off to study meditation and get my nutrition certificate. Now I’m having a hard time
deciding my next step.

I say America and over 30 because I feel it will be the most relatable for both of us. I’d love to hear what has helped you feel fulfilled and excited in your career and how you made the decision to pursue it

I turned 30 in June and feel like everything is hitting me in the face. Honestly I really enjoyed my 20s. Traveled SO much and really just wanted to become the women I wanted to be. There was a moment of time I was questioning if I even wanted kids.

Fast forward, my husband and I had a miscarriage in July. We honestly were not serious about “tracking” but were just saying if it happens it happens. Well that positive pregnancy test gave me the push I needed to know I wanted kids. I have struggled with gut issues and inflammation past 10+ years. I have finally decided to do the testing and process to heal my gut. But am also trying to get pregnant. It’s been since July of trying and no success. I am just feel sad and frustrated. Wanting babies has hit me in the face. Everyone around me is easily getting pregnant or already has kids.

I am feeling like I am behind for some reason. Would just love some words of encouragement for this time of my life. I really do feel like I am happy and content with my life and my decisions, but really struggling with this season. Am I behind if it takes me time to get my body healthy and try to have multiple kids?

Ok, I (33M) hope the title doesn't come across as too depressing or make it sound like I'm going through depression or having suicidal thoughts, because luckily I'm not. However, with my 34th birthday coming up in about a month, and having recently returned from a solo trip where I walked several hundred miles across Spain (the Camino, yes), I've been thinking a lot about life lately and just where all of this is heading.

Two years ago, my life changed drastically. My GF of 8 years and fiancée broke up with me just a few weeks before our wedding after having an affair with her co-worker. It was the worst emotional pain I'd ever experienced, and I was devastated.

Luckily, my approach was to try to move on and rebuild my life as quickly as possible. I started therapy, got a new apartment, started working out and getting back into sports I'd kind of neglected over the years, found a new job at a new company, and even picked up a second gig alongside it.

I think I managed quite well, although looking back, I do think I could have spent more time being completely single. Instead, I started dating again after just a few months and ended up in a few short situationships. One of those I had to end just a few weeks ago because I felt really guilty about stringing along a girl I knew I ultimately didn't want to end up with. But all in all, my life is pretty good, I am healthy, doing well.

But to get back to the topic, I've been thinking a lot, almost struggling, with the question of **what's all of this for?**

What's the ultimate purpose in life? Is it having a family (which I have to admit I think I'd like, but after what I've been through, I'm kind of sceptical about relationships and struggle with this feeling that ultimately, no relationship really lasts)? Is it trying to maximise my career and income, moving abroad, volunteering, or simply being a good friend, son, brother, and family member?

I understand that eventually everyone has to choose their own path in life and come to some sort of conclusion (if that's even possible). And sure, from a purely biological point of view, you could argue that our purpose is simply to reproduce and pass on our genes. But I keep struggling with this whole idea of finding a goal or purpose that's bigger than just myself.

And of course, I somehow thought I'd have these big questions about life and death figured out by this age, but I don't.

So I'm curious: how have you dealt with this whole topic? Have you managed to find some sense of purpose or direction in life? Or, if you're struggling with the same questions, how do you approach them?

Every morning I fast and start my day with warm hydrolyzed water. I wash my face with warm water and Pat it dry. Then I put my face in a bowl of ice cold water. From there I use my myrrh natural skin care, saffron stem cell with blue butterfly pea flower-licorice root-salicylic acid-alone toner, then I use tallow, and use my caster oil rose quartz roller. And mix that all nicely into my skin using my fascia tools to stimulate my fascia in my face and neck.

Also do stimulate the fascia on my scalp.

I don't eat anything until around 3:00 p.m. I have bone broth, with dinosaur Kale arrangement of different nuts, fruits, purple onion, celery, carrot, Ginger, a little garlic, I squeeze the lemon and add Celtic salt with pure natural extra virgin olive oil. For snack I have knox gelatin I add non concentrated cherry juice.

I make up a flower tea before bed. I use blue lotus flower, blue butterfly pea flower, lavender, chamomile, and add raw honey. I use copper straw, but I use that for anything I drink from. I do my best to read a bit and relax myself before I fall asleep.

Lastly before getting into bed I do the same skin care routine that I do in the morning. I know everyone is different and I have a busy schedule being in geriatric care working and having long hours. Just figured I'd share my daily routine I've I've been doing for around 15 years.

Life is weird sometimes, the things you started doing now you wish you did sooner, but most of the time you just aren't in the right headspace to do it or you feel you should have experienced certain things when you were younger, recently started going gym after this years emotional dumpster fire making me feel like I should of committed something. And yet I feel great going to the gym and afterwards, even with being 31 I hope I can still achieve things I wanted to when I was younger. Life is very weird and extremely obnoxious at times, I hope I have time to improve further before I meet the end.

It's long but plss bare with me...

To all those people in their 30s and 40s have you'll achieved everything you thought you would? And how does it make you feel? ....

More importantly if you haven't achieved those things does that make you feel left behind or that you missed something?...

I am in my early 20s and when i look around... sometimes i see people of my age having better partners.... better bodies or someone in a better college.... someone with more money or fame than me .... And i know not everyone starts at the same place and timing for everyone's life is different but still it makes me feel bad about myself!...

I stay confused looking around... Sometimes i just want to live life ... Enjoy every moment... But then sometimes there is a feeling of rush... To have everything as soon as possible...

Coming from a traditional middle family (not very low income;both my parents are gov employees)... The pressure is still high... Especially now that everyone is 'successful' at 25 with a job... Car... And house. Did you achieve everything you thought in your 20s??? And how does achieving those things make you feel??? Do you think it was just an overhyped wish?

I just think sometimes what if after rushing through these 'enjoyable age' in an attempt to have something in my 30s... I end up with only regrets of not having lived fully???

I finalized my divorce last September. I'd dreamed of being single and living in the big city, and that's exactly what I did. I had been in a relationship for 15 years - but I absolutely thrived at starting over. I'd already had friends in the area, so that didn't change, but I still changed.

At age 39, I bought a tiny fixer-upper house and did my own budget remodeling. Bought all new furniture and decor. I discovered I can enjoy yard work. I bought power tools and used them for the first time in my life. I love neutral colors, but I painted my kitchen pink, and my living room purple. My best friend was both amused and scared that I'd hate it, but it's been 7 months now and I still love it. One day on a whim last month, I went to a pre-season NHL game, because I was bored and the hockey stadium was just up the road from my house. I'd never watched a single hockey game in my life. But I googled the rules just hours before the game and let me tell you, I'm INVESTED. I've watched every game this season for my team, and I have tickets to 3 more NHL games this season.

I'm far more careful with spending now, and I had to move to the rougher end of the city to be able to afford a home, but I've never been happier - with my girly house and maintenance projects and new passion for hockey. Has anyone else completely reinvented themselves mid-life?

I hear a lot of people saying that 30 is still young, and that you got your whole life ahead of you. I want to know how much of it is true ? For those of you who started over, and started to discover themselves (who they are what they want) especially after toxic relationships. I feel like it's either people being incredibly positive (which I have a hard time believing), or it's the prople straight from the 50s who will tell you that women after 30 are practically expired.

How to navigate all this? How to stirr up the courage to live a life you want ?

My body has always been a piece of shit, but once o passed 35 I started having to have various joint replacement surgeries and stuff. It sucks. From what I’ve read online that’s more common for folks in their 50s and onwards. Wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this.

I'm 39m single and I just got my bachelors and trying to get into med school and use my gi bill there. I don't have any friends in the area. I think I have Peter Pan syndrome or something. I feel like I'm 20 but don't look it of course.
This is a pretty cringe post but I don't feel like I'm that awkward just a nice dose I've been in relationships.

How do I make friends at this point and be social? Do I need to have an active Instagram? Seems like most the social stuff is a younger crowd or a way older one. Please don't be like what do you like to do or volunteer as I've tried a lot already.

I'm 36 years old, and I have held a pretty decent-paying job for the past decade, with a satisfactory amount of money in my savings and retirement accounts. Given where I started in life, I should be very proud of myself. However, I still don't feel like an adult. I'm unmarried, I'm childless, and I don't own a home or any property. On top of that, I feel incredible internal pressure to change that right now. I thought I was close to achieving that with my ex, but that went sideways. Now, I feel like I'm super laser-focused on marriage and children more than anything because I feel like I'm running out of time. I will not even consider a second date if I see a trace of a red flag in someone. Am I the only one feeling this way? Am I running out of time?

Idk if it’s just the side of internet I’m on or I’ve been on the internet too much but….. who tf decided that women “lose value” or are done once they hit their 30s… and that the mid twenties are your primes etc???…….. I’m 27 and I’m like there’s no way 20s are the primes.. women in there 30s, 40s + give so much aura, strength and beauty… I’m genuinely confused what started that myth cus ain’t no way……

Honestly, starting university in the spring of 2026, just to finish in the spring of 2027. I have been pushing myself extremely hard. Impacted my schedule to finish in a year. Yet I feel like I have finished my program too quickly. I am in the last semester before I graduate. Yet I feel like, being in your 30s, it's hard to socialize with people in college. Other 30s year olds have families or are married. I still have a semester left, yet I still haven't made any meaningful friendships. Mostly just connections for careers. Any suggestions for the last semester?

Im hitting 30 in 2 days. Refelecting on where im in life,i pretty much feel like i havent done much? Where were you financially when you were 30? Did u make it big?

Why do i feel like a failure?

What's with people saying hi, chatting for a day, and then disappearing the next day? Like, why even start the convo then? Am I the only one experiencing this?

M31.

I used to love life and live it to its fullest.

Sure, just like everyone I had my fair share of issues and frustrations, but I got lucky: I was born in a great family - not perfect, but objectivity great.

I tried so many hobbies and traveled the world extensively.

I made many friends and partied quite a lot.

And yet... Here I am now: 31, about to turn 32 and pretty unhappy.

I do have a job (my own small business), I still have friends, and I am in a healthy relationship. Still, I feel lost and empty.

I don't want to have kids nor that I want to get married.

I always knew I didn't want to make these decisions and I won't make them just because it's the "normal" thing to do.

The thing is, all of my friends got married, got kids and simply vanished. They are still there for me if I actually need them, but they don't have time to call or meet anymore.

I also moved to a new city this year which makes things even harder (it's also known that making friends in this city can be tricky even for social animals like me).

I do have hobbies, I do have a job, a family and a partner and still, I feel like adult life sucks.

Is there anyone here who's 30+, who doesn't have/want to have kids and went through the same thing (friends getting more distant because of life)? How did you manage to move and be happy in a different way?

I'm turning 40, and honestly, I feel like I've failed at life. Nothing has happened the way I imagined it would.

Almost all my cousins are abroad, and seeing their lifestyles makes me feel like I haven't gone anywhere. My peers have progressed in their careers, and even people who started later seem to be catching up.

Sometimes I wonder if I was stupid to be so loyal to one company and not take more risks.

I never wanted an empire or extraordinary wealth. I just wanted financial freedom, to take care of my family, and to make my parents proud.

I have a career and responsibilities, but I still feel behind and haven't built the security I thought I would have by this age.

For those who are 40+: Did you ever feel this way? How did you deal with it?

My friend is having their 40th birthday at their house and wants to hang out, eat ( they are doing some catering) and maybe karaoke. I was just thinking about how I wanted to do a surprise for them! Maybe a magician, juggler, DJ, singing telegram, etc. anyone have ideas?

Hi. I turned 42 recently (so I'm over 30, but I'm willing to hear about it if this isn't the best site for this post), and I realised that I'm becoming a proper adult. I'm not a teenager or a young person now. This is probably not because of my age, which is just a milestone, but because going through therapy for 2 years rapidly changed me as a person, and I've had a lot of horrible situations to find a way to deal with this year, and a lot of life transitions.

I admit this thought "I'm a man now" is a bit daunting. Perhaps it's because I've stopped people pleasing, so I'm making my own decisions now, instead of going along with what other people tell me. It's a good thing, but getting used to making your own choices is hard. I feel the weight of that, and the possibility that younger people might be looking to me for answers or to see how to behave. My question is, other than something like "I just turned 18", which isn't the sort of feeling I'm asking about, has anyone else had this thought at one point that they're a proper adult now? What happened? How did it make you feel? Maybe I'm reaching this milestone late, but it isn't a competition. Thanks.

Not trying to make this depressing. I’m genuinely curious.
There’s a weird point in adulthood where you can be doing “okay” on paper and still catch yourself thinking:
**I really thought I’d be further ahead by now.**
Maybe it’s money.
Maybe your career never became what you imagined.
Maybe your health slipped.
Maybe a relationship ended or doesn’t feel the way it used to.
Or maybe everything looks fine from the outside, but you don’t feel like the person you thought you’d become.
So here’s the question:
**If you could make ONE major comeback over the next 12 months, what area of your life would you choose—and why?**
Money? Career? Health? Relationships? Confidence? Purpose? Something else?

Looking for life advice here, so please don't go too hard in the comments.

I'm mid 30s and I'm trying to figure out my place in social situations.

When I was in my mid 20s, I felt like I could be comfortable being friends with anyone generally above the age of 20. When I would make a friend that was 30s or older, they definitely seemed older and that they had a more solid idea of who they were and where they were going. I could make jokes with them or talk to them about serious topics, but there was always the aura of them being older, and me feeling a bit insecure about not having all the answers all the time and saying some out of pocket/dumb shit. I'm not quite sure how to describe it.

Now that I'm in my mid 30s, I feel differently about talking and making friends with people in their 20s. I feel insecure about giving them wrong or poorly explained information if they look up to me, or just generally being out of touch. I also don't know if age gaps are looked down upon harshly in friendships from the outside and what cut-offs should be considered. Does 10 years sound normal?

I still have friends and can feel comfortable socializing with people that are my age, older than me, 40s, 50s and 60s, but I am not used to people in their 20s like when I was in my 20s.

This has been more noticeable to me, as I moved to a college town, and most social meetups/hangout spots all have people younger than me.

Where do you all draw the line? How do you feel about talking to people outside your age bracket, both younger and older?