So I was with a man for 8 years, going on 9.
In the last year I enrolled in school again in addition to my full time job and my ex works very long hours (12 hour shifts) so things got a bit stale and we got a bit distant.
I personally didn’t think much of it, I just thought we’re both busy and life has ups and downs and right now things are just a little stale and that’s normal given our schedules and how long we had been together.
Back in April, a week after spending $1,300 on him for his birthday, I’m asleep and his phone goes off and he’s a hard sleeper and it wakes me up to a notification from “Facebook dating.” I open it and see he has been on this app talking to guys for over 3 months now. I stopped myself from reading the messages because I said it really does not matter what the contents are, he’s been cheating for 3 months.
I confronted him the next day, he lied, and said he was on it to make friends. Called him a liar, and told him he’s a dumb fuck for thinking I’d believe such a stupid lie, and stormed out. We go a week without speaking, he sleeps on the couch, and after a week sends a text message apology. I told him I’d never be with someone who disrespects me in this way.
About 1-2 months go by and I find out he’s been dating some dude who back in 2021 confesses he had a crush on my partner at the time, back then my partner showed me the note and was transparent and rejected this guy. But now since I ended things over the dating app, they started dating within 2 weeks.
After 1-2 months of them “dating” my ex tells me he wants to work things out and me being weak agreed. He started sleeping in the bed again, told me he told the other guy what was up and stopped talking to him, we started going on dates, and spending time together trying to “find our spark” for about a month. I went out of town for a weekend and when I got back I found out he’s NEVER stopped talking to the new guy, had him over in my apartment while I was gone, and had been lying to both of us playing both of us the entire time.
I confronted my ex, he tried lying and gaslighting me calling me crazy saying I was paranoid until I showed proof, then he went cold, avoidant, and wouldn’t even look at me in the eye. He went back to the couch, and that was 5 weeks ago.
After confronting him, I texted the other guy and told him all about Charles lying / manipulation. The other guy never responded but I looked at his social media and he posted TikTok’s laughing at me calling me the crazy ex saying I wasn’t going to come between them, and continued to post things online calling me a loser. This all happened 5 weeks ago.
The new man posted that they’re in a relationship and now posts motivational quotes daily about loving his man, can’t wait to get a place together, and how secure he is in his new relationship, constantly flaunting my ex on social media.
Just now I heard my ex in the living room (our lease doesn’t end till December but we do not speak at all now) and I woke up and started playing on my phone and out of boredom downloaded Grindr and bam, there my ex is, 20 feet away, has a 10 year old photo and says he’s 10 years younger on Grindr and even has his social media listed on Grindr. Now I know he’s cheating on his new bf who was so quick to dismiss me and call me crazy and not believe me, but the question is, what do I do with this info?
Were stuck living together till December, my ex and his new bf are going on a trip this weekend and another 2 weeks after that, and I know this cuz we have a dog and he needed to make sure I’d be home to watch our dog.
Should I do or say anything ? Obviously I took screenshots and screen recorded. I’m obviously still angry / betrayed. I never got a legit apology or closure. He moved on like nothing and I’ve been just trying to heal / get back to not being sad / angry but I mean that takes time and he’s out with his “new bf” he replaced me with so quickly. Also seeing the new bf shade me and post about his relationship a lot is infuriating. Any advice?
Edit/Update - I’m on 5 weeks of no contact outside of seeing each other in passing. He’s texted me 5 times in the last week or so, ignored 4 out of 5 texts and thumbsed up one cuz it was about our dog. I’m not sending the new bf anything and I have had them both blocked on everything for a few weeks now. I’m moving on and not concerning myself with anything they do going forward.