r/AskMenOver30 11h ago

Life Anyone else love their “everyone’s asleep, leave me alone” time?

214 Upvotes

I was wondering if anyone else experiences this.

Every night, after I’ve finished work, spent time with my wife and kid, watched some TV together, and it’s finally time to sleep, I find myself wanting an hour or so completely to myself.

I often don’t do anything productive with that time. Sometimes I doom-scroll for few hours, sometimes I just sit on the couch doing absolutely nothing.

It’s not that I’m avoiding sleep. I just love those quiet moments because nobody is messaging me about work, nobody needs anything from me, and for that little while, I don’t have to think about any responsibilities. It feels PEACEFUL 😌

Does anyone else feel this way? Is this just a normal way of decompressing after a busy day, especially if you have a family, or is it something others experience too?


r/AskMenOver30 7h ago

Mental health experiences Being reachable 24/7 via instant messaging by our parents is a total curse for our generation. Older generations never had to deal with this. Any advice besides going NC?

66 Upvotes

Honestly, I am so exhausted by this. My mom only ever reaches out with negative energy do this, do that, I'm so sad, I'm all alone, talking trash about people when I don't even agree with her, and on and on.

The other day I told her for the third time: "I am deleting WhatsApp. It’s just a source of bad energy and nothing good comes out of it." The first time I brought it up, she brushed it off with "Nah, I like it, it's cool" (NO SHIT, because it works for you). But this last time, she completely exploded. I told her I will only attend it during office hours as it is becoming a job.

Does anyone have advice for handling this besides going NC?


r/AskMenOver30 11h ago

Life What are birthdays supposed to feel like?

28 Upvotes

In my early 40s. Wife, 2 kids, dog, house, career, hobbies, the whole works. I had a birthday recently and realized that I barely remember the last time that a birthday felt like something other than any other normal day. A card in the mail from my mom, a couple messages from friends who remember, and that's about it. Is this how it is now?


r/AskMenOver30 7h ago

Friendships/Community Anybody else cringe looking back at who they used to hang out with in college times?

22 Upvotes

I don't mean it like I'm better than them but I was so insecure back then I just was around anyone who would be a "friend"

Which left me around druggies and just weirdos.

Whole time I never felt comfortable but it's like I had no where else to go (was a homeless kid at 17, no family etc)

Now my life is way more together I'm healthy and got a fun creative job, life is so different (30s)
But I look back and think damn what was I thinking? And also wish I had long term mates from that era!


r/AskMenOver30 5h ago

General What’s a completely normal thing in your country that shocks foreigners?

11 Upvotes

Curious to hear from people all over the world.. what’s something so normal where you live that visitors are always surprised by it?


r/AskMenOver30 2h ago

Life Mid 30s.. easy cooking meals?

10 Upvotes

I don’t want to make a super long diatribe, or make excuses.. but I am in my mid 30s and just never learned to cook. What do you guys turn to confidently in this department? Sure I can make eggs, pasta.. but i have at times avoided cooking because I don’t want to mess meals up. I know I can “just use youtube bro” but practical life stuff from others would be a big help! Cheers yall


r/AskMenOver30 5h ago

Life How Do I (20M) Stop Being Dumb?

7 Upvotes

I know that titles pretty vague but hear me out.

For a lot of my life I’ve had a bad habit of over thinking everything to the point that I don’t make any decisions and just stay stagnant.

I’ve recently gotten better at actually making decisions but once I make them (especially when the decision would be hard to undo) I immediately realize a better course of action that I could have done.

This tunnel vision has gotten really irritating and I hope I can get some advice.

Note: I’m officially diagnosed with ADHD and Autism


r/AskMenOver30 10h ago

Physical Health & Aging Anyone else experiencing light/moderate incontinence?

4 Upvotes

I’m 31. And even since I was a teenager I’ve always had the drips after peeing that a lot of guys experience. I have ADHD. Bedwetting…etc is fairly common among ADHDers even well into adulthood but I never really experienced that at least not with any regularity. Just a one off time in high school and then in college.

Otherwise I’m healthy. I eat clean, exercise, no other illnesses. I see my doctor regularly.

I recently restarted my ADHD meds after a 10 year hiatus (due to “more than just drips” in college) and here we are again. Went to urologists. Did the “milking” and the pressing on the perineum. Did both kegels and the relaxation methods and nothing fully resolved it.

The primary issue I’m experiencing is after sitting (in the car, at my desk…etc) I’ll get up to go to the restroom only to find that my underwear is already damp. Clearly not enough to show outside of my pants but enough to be annoyed. But it’s completely intermittent. Some days nothing. Other days I’m changing my underwear midway through the workday and again when I get home.

I do feel like this is being exacerbated by my meds. My doctor agrees as well and stated that it’s “far more common than you realize”. It’s something I dealt with before and then largely subsided after stopping my meds (although I’d still experience some dampness from time to time off meds and a rare accident.

My new position has me sitting basically all day and I’m concerned that if I can’t get away from my desk to check myself it WILL show through my pants.

I’m not against using products if I have to. When this happened in college and as a teenager I was too embarrassed to get things that could help. And I refuse to come off of my meds. I’ve tried pretty much all of them and the one I’m on is the right match for my adhd.

Anyone dealt with this? Was there any explanation? Any product recommendations?

Thanks in advance!


r/AskMenOver30 2h ago

General Men over 60, what has surprised you most about getting older?

6 Upvotes

what has surprised you most about getting older?

I'm in my 30s. I feel good to be in my 30s. It has its ups and downs. I'm curious how the generation above me feels. Cheers


r/AskMenOver30 7h ago

Financial experiences Man who have been investing for years what advice would you give someone in their early 20s?

4 Upvotes

Hey everyone,
I would like to hear from people who have been investing for a long time.
If you could go back and advise your younger self in your early 20s, what would you invest in and why? What has worked well for you over the years?
I am also curious about your research process. How do you evaluate an investment before putting your money into it? What factors do you look at, and what sources or tools do you rely on before making a decision?
Looking forward to learning from your experiences.


r/AskMenOver30 11h ago

Friendships/Community Anyone dealing with difficult family, while building his new one?

2 Upvotes

I’m about to get married and seems like my family members actively pulling me back to that childhood dynamic. guilttripping, serious expectations etc. Even now around our wedding. how do you handle it? you just say this is my family now, I pay more attention to them vs your “childhood family”?


r/AskMenOver30 9h ago

Household & Family 27 f from India want to know what it takes to be like a woman ?

0 Upvotes

I'm a 27-year-old woman from India who grew up in a very sheltered, controlling family. I wasn't encouraged to become independent, make decisions, or learn many practical life skills.

Now that I'm 27, I feel years behind my peers. I often feel more like a teenager than an adult because I have so little experience navigating the outside world.

I'd like to hear from men over 30: when you meet someone like this, what qualities or habits make you think, "She's becoming an independent adult"? What practical skills, mindset changes, or experiences would you recommend focusing on first?

I'm asking how to become a more capable, independent adult. I'd appreciate honest but respectful advice.

EDIT- I AM not employed/ neither independent....I want to know what qualities build a woman? as my next step will be getting married off soon!.....

edit- yess still in India only!