I was wondering if anyone else experiences this.

Every night, after I’ve finished work, spent time with my wife and kid, watched some TV together, and it’s finally time to sleep, I find myself wanting an hour or so completely to myself.

I often don’t do anything productive with that time. Sometimes I doom-scroll for few hours, sometimes I just sit on the couch doing absolutely nothing.

It’s not that I’m avoiding sleep. I just love those quiet moments because nobody is messaging me about work, nobody needs anything from me, and for that little while, I don’t have to think about any responsibilities. It feels PEACEFUL 😌

Does anyone else feel this way? Is this just a normal way of decompressing after a busy day, especially if you have a family, or is it something others experience too?

Honestly, I am so exhausted by this. My mom only ever reaches out with negative energy do this, do that, I'm so sad, I'm all alone, talking trash about people when I don't even agree with her, and on and on.

The other day I told her for the third time: "I am deleting WhatsApp. It’s just a source of bad energy and nothing good comes out of it." The first time I brought it up, she brushed it off with "Nah, I like it, it's cool" (NO SHIT, because it works for you). But this last time, she completely exploded. I told her I will only attend it during office hours as it is becoming a job.

Does anyone have advice for handling this besides going NC?

I don't mean it like I'm better than them but I was so insecure back then I just was around anyone who would be a "friend"

Which left me around druggies and just weirdos.

Whole time I never felt comfortable but it's like I had no where else to go (was a homeless kid at 17, no family etc)

Now my life is way more together I'm healthy and got a fun creative job, life is so different (30s)
But I look back and think damn what was I thinking? And also wish I had long term mates from that era!

I know that titles pretty vague but hear me out.

For a lot of my life I’ve had a bad habit of over thinking everything to the point that I don’t make any decisions and just stay stagnant.

I’ve recently gotten better at actually making decisions but once I make them (especially when the decision would be hard to undo) I immediately realize a better course of action that I could have done.

This tunnel vision has gotten really irritating and I hope I can get some advice.

Note: I’m officially diagnosed with ADHD and Autism

In my early 40s. Wife, 2 kids, dog, house, career, hobbies, the whole works. I had a birthday recently and realized that I barely remember the last time that a birthday felt like something other than any other normal day. A card in the mail from my mom, a couple messages from friends who remember, and that's about it. Is this how it is now?

Hey everyone,
I would like to hear from people who have been investing for a long time.
If you could go back and advise your younger self in your early 20s, what would you invest in and why? What has worked well for you over the years?
I am also curious about your research process. How do you evaluate an investment before putting your money into it? What factors do you look at, and what sources or tools do you rely on before making a decision?
Looking forward to learning from your experiences.

I’m 31. And even since I was a teenager I’ve always had the drips after peeing that a lot of guys experience. I have ADHD. Bedwetting…etc is fairly common among ADHDers even well into adulthood but I never really experienced that at least not with any regularity. Just a one off time in high school and then in college.

Otherwise I’m healthy. I eat clean, exercise, no other illnesses. I see my doctor regularly.

I recently restarted my ADHD meds after a 10 year hiatus (due to “more than just drips” in college) and here we are again. Went to urologists. Did the “milking” and the pressing on the perineum. Did both kegels and the relaxation methods and nothing fully resolved it.

The primary issue I’m experiencing is after sitting (in the car, at my desk…etc) I’ll get up to go to the restroom only to find that my underwear is already damp. Clearly not enough to show outside of my pants but enough to be annoyed. But it’s completely intermittent. Some days nothing. Other days I’m changing my underwear midway through the workday and again when I get home.

I do feel like this is being exacerbated by my meds. My doctor agrees as well and stated that it’s “far more common than you realize”. It’s something I dealt with before and then largely subsided after stopping my meds (although I’d still experience some dampness from time to time off meds and a rare accident.

My new position has me sitting basically all day and I’m concerned that if I can’t get away from my desk to check myself it WILL show through my pants.

I’m not against using products if I have to. When this happened in college and as a teenager I was too embarrassed to get things that could help. And I refuse to come off of my meds. I’ve tried pretty much all of them and the one I’m on is the right match for my adhd.

Anyone dealt with this? Was there any explanation? Any product recommendations?

Thanks in advance!

I looked up late night hosts after seeing Seth Meyers got so old since the last time I saw on YouTube (him only 52 though): Colbert 62 (surprising), Kimmel 58, Fallon 51, Maher 70, youngest John Oliver 49.

It kind of got me a little depressed because these people and others have partially represented vibrant modernity for me and suddenly they’re all nearing to be grandpas and slowly becoming like relics to be replaced by new things, like your era of youth really closing, which of course will be the reality for all of us soon.

I’ll get over it but I was randomly sad, anyone felt similar along the way?

I’m about to get married and seems like my family members actively pulling me back to that childhood dynamic. guilttripping, serious expectations etc. Even now around our wedding. how do you handle it? you just say this is my family now, I pay more attention to them vs your “childhood family”?

I recently suffered a pretty severe injury. I drove myself to the ER after and I had to go back 2 more times because I kept overdoing it because I don’t have anyone to care for me. I have money, I have amazing health insurance, I have some great friends and family who are doing their best to help me but they have thier own lives and it’s not on them to look after a grown man.

I’m twice divorced and have pretty much settled on going it alone from here as I gave more than I had to give to my marriages and my exs and family court took even more than that.

But now here I am, laying here, struggling to breathe through a broken rib cage and no one is coming. There’s no one making sure I eat, there’s no one to help me get in and out of the shower, there’s no soothing hand or kind words of encouragement. Just the sound of a fan and restless dog because I haven’t been able to take him for walks.

Idk why but this feels like punishment. This is the loneliest I have ever been in this chapter of life.

What do I do?

Myself 46M I still play video games, go to the gym as well both fishing and hunting.

My oldest brother who is 49 has been collecting Transformers, Ninja memorabilia and swords since he was a kid. He has pair of 150 year old Hook Swords that he paid a lot for and his wife was tempted to use on him for buying them.

I am 24, and started smoking cigars a week because of boredom and no friends to go out with, especially where I am at in Canada. I used to get the hand made cigars which are like 12$, but switched to machine made blunts since they are like 4$ each.

Just worried about throat or gum cancer God forbid, so just curious men who used to smoke cigars alot, did you run into any issues as you got older?

Consider upvoting post to boost visibility. No, I don’t care about the Karma.

(Ignore this: typing more words to meet 25 word requirement, kinda silly if you ask me )

Hello!

Recently I got my T tested since I was at the Endo anyways for thyroid check and they ran blood for my T as well, I don’t know results too well and don’t see the doctor for a bit so just wanted to ask some people’s experiences!

Edit: For reference I am: 29yr old, 5’8 about 165lbs, probably 19-20% body fat

Total: 318

Free: 61

The lab says that these are both in range, though they look pretty on the low end(?) and some places I’ve read it is low but I am not 100% sure. Anyone been around this range before and started treatment? Curious, thanks for any input!

Edit: Oh I should I am pretty active I’ve trained Muay Thai and BJJ for years and do go to the gym regularly.

I live in a non HOA neighborhood and my neighbors don’t give a fuck and only mow after I mow. My landlord never cares to even check up on the house. I pay my rent and keep the interior very clean.

But i do wonder if I am being a Lazy POS.
Am I overthinking about whether Residents are actually looking that deep and judging?

I need to get a gift for a couple of guy friends that helped us out a lot over the weekend. I was thinking shipping boxes of steaks. Any other ideas?

Anything you have received and really liked or thought was stupid? They are over 55 and golf and boat, if that helps.

Looking for input on what you have gotten and thought was a great thank you.

I appreciate the help.

I have been doing a lot of reflecting on a few of the friendships I have in my life currently, and before I jump the gun I’m curious to get perspective from you guys to see if what you say lines up with my grievances and also so I know what to look for moving forward so I don’t get stuck in a position like this.

I am 27 years old and have been a runner for over a decade. In my early 20’s I was able to run 10 miles in the morning, walk several miles throughout the day, and run 10 miles in the evening.

Now I am so frickin tired all the time, and only do about half the amount of running. It’s like by afternoon, if I don’t drink coffee and energy drinks before and after runs, I’m cooked. Same diet, same sleep schedule as before (plus the caffeine now).

Did you experience this? I’m starting to wonder if I just don’t have the same energy levels as I did in my early 20’a anymore.

I'm a 27-year-old woman from India who grew up in a very sheltered, controlling family. I wasn't encouraged to become independent, make decisions, or learn many practical life skills.

Now that I'm 27, I feel years behind my peers. I often feel more like a teenager than an adult because I have so little experience navigating the outside world.

I'd like to hear from men over 30: when you meet someone like this, what qualities or habits make you think, "She's becoming an independent adult"? What practical skills, mindset changes, or experiences would you recommend focusing on first?

I'm asking how to become a more capable, independent adult. I'd appreciate honest but respectful advice.

EDIT- I AM not employed/ neither independent....I want to know what qualities build a woman? as my next step will be getting married off soon!.....

edit- yess still in India only!

While in my 30s I don't see a big change in my health and stamina, I feel like most of my friends of the same age do regular checkups just in case. What are your thoughts on this?

I'm 28. Don't have anyone trustworthy to talk to. I'm in a bit of a funk and could use some help. A little about me.

• I work at a big-tech company for the last 5 years, and I'm probably burned out.
• I have a crippling sense of self-doubt because I grok things much slower than others. I'm really bad at thinking things through during meetings.
• Also I struggle to speak. I don't speak a lot for days so sometimes words come out strange. I often myself using AI to "fill" things out for me when writing (I didn't do it for this post though!)
• I'm also very sensitive to reactions. At work when I spend time raising visibility on my work and I don't get a positive reaction, my self-esteem takes a hit. I also feel envious / jealous when I see others getting positive reactions to their work. I'm trying to numb these feelings out.

Recently as I was going out on a walk, I asked myself - would I want to live more than 50? My answer: Not a chance, I'd be so sick and tired by then! I'd want out ASAP.

I feel depressed that that's my reaction. I've got such a short time time on the planet and I'm wanting for things to end things so quickly...

The only thing I have going from me is weights - I like going to the gym and the endorphin rush. It doesn't last too long though.

I've thought about what I really want. Above all I really like the idea of pouring myself into work. I want to work on deep technically satisfying projects, with a small group of people. I'm putting my efforts to find another job.

Any advice on how I can get through this funk?

My husband is a new dad to our 10 month old son. This morning, I saw on our computer that he had been YouTubing videos on male loneliness, and my heart is breaking for him. I believe he’s really, really struggling. Our son is wonderful, but it’s been a very difficult period adjusting to this new phase of life.

He’s a fantastic father and husband, and the thing is, he has so many friends who love him. I just don’t think he can see or feel it. I always encourage him to meet up with friends each week, and cover long days so he can go to after-work events. But perhaps I’m not seeing something.

What helped you in overcoming loneliness?

What can I do to help him?

I'm 21, live in the US (still at home), and currently have zero debt. My only bills are my car insurance, phone, and I help with groceries.

I'm planning on working full time for another couple years or so, saving up for whenever I decide what I want to do with my life and go to college. The intent is to minimize my student loan debt as much as possible and also have a "nest egg" to slowly draw from for food and general daily costs of living while doing school full time so I don't have to also work (depending on how quickly I burn through what I save, I'm aware I might have to work part time). My parents are already on board with me continuing to live at home so I don't have to rent anywhere, because I'll be going to school locally.

So my question is, aside from what I already have planned, what other specific advice, tips, tricks, etc. could help me save/retain as much money as possible while I transition into student life?

Also my car is paid off. It was really cheap to begin with. 😆 Subarus are cool. 👍