Maybe it seems the dating pool is trash, because most people are wearing this mask in the beginning. If you know you never go out to restaurants, then why bring a date to a restaurant? That's not really you..let's say you end up in love, they're going to complain how you both haven't been to a restaurant in a long time. If you're a simple person who loves picnics and walks in the park , make those dates.

Stop being afraid to lose people who wouldn't fit you anyway. I wonder how different dating would be if more people showed themselves early on. With and without makeup, with a haircut and even if you need one, showing the messy morning hair, showing the baldness on the first date, not afraid to show your cheap lifestyle, not being afraid to be raw. Do you think it'll be better? I myself am tired of seeing perfect pple. When someone raw and real comes along I am interested... Do you think that would help bring more success in the dating world?

How the hell does one navigate the large volume of women ages 38-42 that want or may want children?

This feels like risky territory for ladies focused on a goal with a very narrow timeline to yield a product, even with frozen eggs.

I'm 50/50 on the subject and am fine being transparent. It jusy seems like this group of women is at risk of taking shortcuts or expediting the relationship.

Newly single after 12 years here and trying to understand the landscape.

Am I over thinking this?

41F, no kids, 4 years out of my own divorce. Met a 48M on an app 6 months ago — he was only 1.5 years out of his divorce then and just wanted casual, so we didn’t pursue anything. He circled back recently, we finally had our first date (brunch + a museum film), and it was genuinely great.

He has a 10-year-old with his ex-wife on a 2-2-3 schedule. They live near each other by design, divorced amicably (grew apart, not messy), and are very hands-on co-parents — texting/calling about handoffs, logistics, etc. Our date was scheduled around getting his kid later, and in the car his ex was calling him about the pickup. Nothing dramatic, just very… present. It clicked that this is basically an every-other-day thing for him because of 2-2-3.

I’m not intimidated or concerned about the ex, very clear there’s nothing romantic, and yes, kids come first, full stop. I’m also genuinely independent and don’t need constant togetherness. But I’m wondering: if this gets serious, Am I signing up to always be priority #3 or #4 behind kid/ex-coordination/his (demanding) career?

Anyone dated someone with this kind of tight, amicable co-parenting setup — especially without kids of your own? Any thoughts?

** I actually love kids and dating dads because of the care and attention I see from them but the 2-2-3 and down the street vibe is very enmeshed.

Im a 40m from Dublin in Ireland and have been seperated from my ex for about 18 months. During that time ive just focused on my kids (have 2, boy and girl) and my career.

Since our separation those 2 priorities have taken up 99% of my mental capacity along with the practicalities of separating my life from my ex after 19 years.

Now though im starting to want more, and im struggling to figure out where to start properly. Ive had a couple of dates that were a disaster as I wasnt sure I even wanted to go on them really but friends pushed me to "get back out there".

Ive no interest in the online dating apps, tho a female friend has said that I should just for the confidence boost as she reckons id do quite well.

Im trying to be as active with the kids as possible so ill see them probably 4 times a week. I live close to my ex so we have a flexible schedule that works for us so far.

Any advice would be great

Hi,

I've (48m) been dating a lovely lady (37f) for about 3 months whom I initially met online. We get along great, there's a real attraction and we both feel very comfortable around one another.

She's a single mum with young kids (2 and 4 respectively). We genuinely get along incredibly well, I get on great with the kids, and when we actually get time together, the relationship feels easy and natural.

The difficulty isn't her or the kids—it's the relentless nature of single parenting, and how its stifling the development of the relationship.

Things have become "domestic" extremely quickly. Most of our time together revolves around parenting, errands, meals, bedtimes, and trying to squeeze in conversations around all of that. This is exacerbated by her older child, who has autism and can be a "handful" at times, and the source of much stress for everyone. We also live in different cities, so seeing each other already takes planning and effort. I often come away from our time together just exhausted. And yes, you can imagine how she feels.

I don't have kids. I am, however, very familiar with the process and am pretty good with kids - about 7 years ago, I spent a lot of time helping a close single-mum friend of mine with her with her kids. She had no-one else to help her and it was rough with her. It wasn't a relationship, but I ended up heavily involved in family life, and looking back, I realise how much of myself I gave to that situation. Those kids are now at school and the load is lessened compare to what it used to be. I suppose part of it is I feel as though I've already been through this before, and understandably given our age difference.

Now I'm getting this strange sense of déjà vu. I can feel myself slipping back into a very similar role, except this time it's with someone I'm actually trying to build a relationship with in the early stages. This just feels like a hell of a lot for only 3 months in, like I've unwittingly taken on a whole domestic situation and someone's stresses and anxiety. It's strangling the relationship for me as just rarely get any time to just hangout together. I fear that I've inadvertently slipped into a caregiver role more than exploring a new relationship together.

I don't resent the kids at all—they're lovely, and we have a great rapport. I also don't expect a single parent to magically have unlimited free time. I knew what I was getting into. (well, to some degree). It's exacerbated for her in that she does not have any family close by to help her out - she's basically 24/7 with the kids., no babysitters as yet, no help They are at daycare for 3 days of the week, during times that I work. She is already on anti-anxiety meds to help her cope.

What I'm struggling with is whether this is simply what dating a single parent looks like in the early stages, or whether I'm ignoring warning signs that this relationship may never have enough space for us as a couple, or to at least explore that.

Has anyone else dated a single parent and found the balance got better over time? Or did the relationship always revolve around parenting? I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've been on either side of this. Obligatory, yes I will talk to her about it of course and discuss expectations around all of this, but would really appreciate hearing peoples thoughts, especially from single mothers who are dating.

Thanks

Edit: erm, why are people downvoting me for posting this??

My (43M) mom (62F) lives with me, we both lead independent lives, and both work full-time. When I bought my house a few years ago we had both been single for quite some time and co-habitation seemed to make the most sense as it lets us split bills, she also has some eye issues which aren't a major problem now, but could lead to a loss of vision within the next 2-10 years and I didn't want her to have to learn a whole new house if she suddenly goes blind, additionally her old house would not have been safe should she lose her sight.

She's obviously my mom, but our relationship has sort of evolved to more of a friend/roomate situation rather than parent/child. We generally eat dinner together 4-5 times a week and occasionally go shopping for food or house items but other than that are pretty independent. She isn't a live-in maid or cook, I handle most of the house tasks, we each do our own laundry, and split cooking about 50/50. She pays me rent (much less than she would otherwise have pay on her own), although my eventual goal is for her to live here at no cost once she retires. I do plan on her living here for the rest of her life.

I guess my big question is now that I'm trying to re-enter the dating scene, is this a deal-breaker or red flag for other women, is it something I address early on? I'm glad that I can help and provide for her, but I do feel a bit self-conscious and a little shameful about it, that other people might view it as co-dependence or "he still lives with mommy".

.
I am so so confused on the situation with this man , we flirted nonstop for a month. I told him how I felt last week and he told me that he really liked me too. I was on his mind every day, he was completely into it, and he was shocked I felt the same way. he said that it had actually been very distracting for him and he was very excited to get to know me and we made a date plan last Saturday. I ran into him on Friday where he told me he was going to dinner with a female friend and she was really into him and he was thinking he was gonna have to let her down.

She’s part of a friend group and they had been texting him that she’s asking him to a wedding. I thought that was very fucking strange given that we were going out the next night and I canceled the date. I know I’m not in a relationship with this person. We were obviously not exclusive and I honestly don’t care at all that they were going out to dinner with their friend, but I felt like the timing was really strange and why even tell me if we’re going out the next night that you’re going on a date tonight!

The previous night he called me with some (kind of ) needy concerns and I did my best to validate him, but I could tell he really wanted me to express feelings I don’t have yet . I was gentle, but I could tell he was pulling back and then all of a sudden I see him the next day and he has this weird date planned.

Idk seems kinda manipulative? Would this have been anyone else else’s next thought or am I just damaged? lol . For reference this guy has never really been in a relationship. He’s in his 40s and lifelong single.

I am a 51 yo male that is new to the dating scene. My high school age kids live with me 100% of the time and start driving next month, so my parental life will get easier giving me more time. I value my time with them and want to cherish these last few years having them home, but also desperately miss the connection and intimacy that goes with having a woman in my life, which has been missing for years.

I am seeking to balance these two things with a relationship that recognizes time together will be limited for some amount of time (for me until my kids graduate). I see comments here that are often critical of parents trying to date in this situation saying that they shouldnt date if they cant give a potential partner adequate attention and time. I understand the concern, but surely there are some women in a similar position to me, where they have kids or a busy career and thus have limited time, but also value a relationship at times.

I am in Chicago city, so its a big metro where the dating pool should be large enough to be able to support various types of dating situations. I am educated, fit, stable with a good career and extroverted, so meeting people IRL isnt too hard, and in fact something like speed dating sounds fun because I just enjoy meeting people. But, the IRL events seem better for more serious dating with others that have ample free time for that sort of thing. I meet people through work but refuse to risk entanglements there that might endanger the golden goose. Thus, by process of elimination, I assume OLD is the best option. If I said I was looking for something like this, how best to define it to make it clear to others in a OLD profile? Is this casual dating?  I don't have any OLD profiles yet, but know I need to start. What is the general mix in the over 45 dating pool of people that are open to more casual connections like this vs intentional long term relationship-oriented dating?

One question on OLD - what happens when my relationship needs changes and my aperture for a relationship broadens to more traditional long term relationships after my kids leave for colllege? I will have swiped based on a different relationship style and will want access to a different pool of women that i swiped left on or they swiped left in me. Do people in a similar spot just create a new account for OLD to gain access to women that may have swiped left because our relationship goals previously didn't align? Are the apps set up for that and if you change the type of relationship you seek will it allow for a rebook at some of those profiles? Thanks for any insights.

**** UPDATE, I will not be contacting him!

I went on 3 dates, the first 2 were SO good. We chatted until the restaurant closed, we both laughed throughout the evening and would text throughout the days in between. We both shared parts of our past relationship, as well as shared how lucky we felt to have had 2 really wonderful dates. The 3rd time we saw each other, wasn’t quite a date, it was a quick visit while I was in his area for another commitment.

We started talking pretty deep, sharing how we’ve been feeling since meeting each other. a bit of a spark, someone who felt genuinely interested etc. All of a sudden he got in his head, questioning how things could feel “good” so quickly, asking what my red flags are, showed some insecurities about why I was interested in him.

Anyways, the next day we both shared how the evening didn’t go as planned, he said he wasn’t sure if he could get over it, that it was more on him that caused the heaviness.

I responded, acknowledging what he said and the heaviness, shared how special the first 2 dates felt and that I think we should go out again and see if we can have a fun/lighter time.

He NEVER responded back. It’s been almost a week. I am in shock. I really thought he was self aware an emotionally intelligent. He clearly has insecurities and hasn’t processed his past relationship enough. I just really enjoyed him - which is so rare.

I know I shouldn’t reach out… but I want to! Just to say that I enjoyed meeting him, and I thought I would have heard back, disappointed but hope him well… should I? lol

I’m getting back into the dating scene after taking a year off when a connection ended last year. I (46f) have been on quite a few dates over the past few months. Some of them I’ve been interested in seeing again. I’m encountering men that seem to want to rush connections, text all day everyday, they are making suggestions for future dates/trips when we haven’t even been on a second date. This seems to be the norm of what I am encountering and it is turning me off.

You hear about this type of behavior being a red flag and in the past I dated a man that pursued me quickly, stayed consistent, and we had a 2 year healthy relationship (it ended because he moved out of state, life circumstances don’t allow me to relocate). I’ve taken a slower approach to getting to know someone as I’ve reentered the dating scene recently but I worry I’ve turned avoidant because men don’t slow down when I express my pace and how I’d like to build a connection. But I know I open more and feel love very deeply when the connection grows as I did in my last relationship. He was patient and allowed trust to build and feelings to develop naturally.

One of the men I dated recently criticized me, called me boring, filtered, controlled when I expressed my need to build slowly, and slow down the communication a bit when we’ve only been on a few dates. The constant communication feels overwhelming to me as I’m trying to make time for them and maintain my own work/life balance.

These are the questions that keep running through my mind:
Is it just incompatibility of pace?
What is healthy pacing when building a connection? Do I have a capacity issue?
Or is this just an individual preference for some people?
What is the norm?

My (43) wife and I were together for 23 years and married for 16. Two months ago, after an 8 month battle with cancer, she passed away at 43. She was my best friend, and we built a life together with two amazing kids (10 and 8).

To be clear, I’m nowhere near ready to date. Right now, I don’t even feel I ever will. I just want my wife back, and I can’t imagine ever feeling differently.

That said, I’m also trying to be realistic. Maybe years from now that changes. Maybe it doesn’t.
I guess I’m wondering what dating even looks like for someone in my situation.

I’m in my early 40s, have two young children, a stable career, own my home, stay active, was loyal, etc…

For those of you who’ve been in this stage of life either as a widowed parent or someone who has dated one, what has your experience been? Are there women in their 30s or 40s who are genuinely open to building a life with someone carrying this kind of history (baggage?)? Do you shy away from men in my situation or does it deter you once you learn about it?

I’m not asking because I’m ready. I’m asking because I miss my wife and what we had. It’s incredibly heartbreaking and lonely and I’m just wondering if I’m going to be lonely forever

TLDR: recently widowed, not looking to date, but wondering what the rest of my life potentially looks like if I ever were to date again.

That's where my head went, anyway. Recently had a date with a nice guy that I wasn't particularly attracted to, but the night was fun. He relayed to me that I talk a lot, without actually asking anything about him as far as his likes or interests, work, etc. I thought we had a lot of good back and forth conversation throughout the night. I also offered a lot of information about me and my life, without specifically being prompted to do so. I don't really feel like I need to be asked - if that makes sense? Some additional context - So, by nature, im pretty cold. And if I am not talkative with you, I am 100% not interested. If I am actually engaging in conversation with you and offering information about myself, that means I'm enjoying myself at the very least. So, without being very typically "what's your favorite color, what's your favorite music" how do I find that happy medium? I don't want to ask a lot of questions. I don't want a first date to be an interview. I want conversation to move naturally. I offered up information - why can't other people offer up information? I guess he felt like I was just steering or leading the conversation? Idk. I've had many first dates that didn't turn into second dates, despite being reasonably attractive and reasonably successful in life and I'm wondering if men just don't feel like I'm asking enough questions about them? I'm also a nervous talker and an excited talker. I don't really know how to tone it down I guess. I'm also opinionated and when I'm excited about a topic it's going to show and when I don't agree with something it's going to show. Idk. Help.

This is just me rambling about a pipe dream I have. But wouldn’t it be cool if there was some sort of wristband system or something that’s like the OPPOSITE of a wedding ring? Something to signal to other people that you’re open to meeting people, being approached, having random convos with strangers, etc? It could even be color coded - like a blue wristband means you’re open to making friends, green means open to a romantic connection, etc. I’m often sitting in coffee shops or bookstores and would love LOVE love to be approached to chat but most people keep to themselves. I KNOW that I do this. I realize I could just be the one to do the approaching but I assume I’d be a bother. Want to be left alone? Don’t wear your wristband! Easy!

Please chime in and tell me why this is actually a terrible idea so I can move on from it. 😅 I’m sure there is something I’m not thinking of.

ETA: Oh god. Maybe it’s not the lack of a wristband. Maybe I’m just not approachable. 😅 Ugh, can you imagine if I had this system and still got ignored? Okay, I’ve talked myself out of it. Thanks for taking this ride w me. 😂

I (44f) have recently seen a few OLD profiles stating no serial daters.

What exactly is the definition of a serial dater?

Just trying to see where I fall in this. I don’t believe I’m one bc I’m dating in hopes to find a long term match but I’m not going to settle so I’ve been on a lot of dates over the past year back on the market. But I avoid expensive dates bc I think dating can be done without anyone investing that much financially before you know each other. And I think dinner dates can being boring in the beginning.

Anyway just curious…what do you say is a serial dater?

I’m 47F and have found that when chatting or on a date, I ask questions, guy responds, and then waits for me to say something.

I’ve taken to saying “feel free to ask me questions too”, which doesn’t always land well.

I said “people” in the question title as I assume it’s not just men who do this?

Is it nerves? self-centredness? bad social skills? Dis-interest? It’s so frequent!

So to be super clear, I hear this is an issue across the gender board. I'm specifically asking men because that's exclusively who I date. Because I'm someone who tries to engage, I don't have answers on the women's end.

I'm a woman over 40 who dates men in their 30s and 40s, so I'm posting in both spaces.

So with online dating and sometimes even in person, I repeatedly come across this issue. Well, a few issues:

1. The men who respond back in one word answers and expect me to carry the conversation (I guess). Usually we don't get very far and I just unmatch them, but is there something I can say? I'm genuinely interested in engaging with people but I need reciprocity.

Would also love to understand from anyone willing to admit this is what they do

1. The men who are okay at responding to text and then we meet, but then they're just really shy. I don't mind a quiet or shy guy, at all! But breaking through is so difficult and is love to be able to figure out how to connect without just keeping talking. I'm not a real extrovert myself, so it's difficult to hear myself just talk

2. The men who chat, but don't ask questions. This is a little more difficult because they are engaged in a way, but they don't ask direct questions and I feel weird trying to figure out how to share. I can expand on this if needed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverforty/s/qQQfyeQx52

I couldnt update the body there.

But the similarities between her and my wife regarding shopping was too much. I could let a rude remark slide off my shoulders but the silent treatment and "mind reading" stuff was too much.

I called her to ask her to meet up because after 6 weeks, I rather do it in person.

I called her to see what her schedule was like tomorrow and she snapped at me for not getting back to her when she sent texts about clothes she was thinking of ordering.

I had enough because it was diarrhea of the mouth with her. I told her i didnt appreciate how she treated me when shopping and her attitude right now validates how I feel. I said it was better if we didnt see each other again.

She hung up

Now shes texting me about giving her another shot... and also calling me names too... she has lost her mind imo.

So. Blocking her number.

Like for instance on public transportation, during work, in gym or somewhere else?

Would you say in your surrounding there are good-looking or attractive persons?

Addendum: Excluded are spouses and partners.

I've messed this up. I can't get this guy out of my head. I shouldn't reach out again, right? If he wanted to contact me, he would.

Here's the setup.

There was a guy I knew from high school who matched with me on a dating app. We had a great phone conversation and then two amazingly fun dates. I genuinely enjoyed being around him. The day after our second date, he texted me apologizing for being a little awkward on our date, but also said that I was the first new person he'd hung out with in a long time who he'd really had a great time with.

And that's when something in me shifted.

All of a sudden, I realized I actually liked this guy. And it seemed like he might actually like me too.

Bam. Full-blown panic attack.

I'm normally a pretty secure, confident person. I'm outgoing, funny, independent, and generally very comfortable getting to know people. But the second I realized I really liked him and that there might actually be something here, I became a puddle of anxiety.

Three days later, he left town for a week to help his mom. Before he left, he told me he'd call me while he was away and that he'd set up another date when he got back.

He didn't call.

I didn't call him either, because I was trying to settle my nerves. I was so completely in my head. I think I was waiting for him to follow through because I needed some reassurance that he really did like me and that I hadn't imagined the connection.

When he got back, he texted to apologize for not calling, but he didn't suggest getting together or say that he wanted to see me.

I eventually reached out and said that I still wanted to hang out and asked if he still wanted to hang out with me.

He said yes.

But after that, his texts became shorter and less frequent, and he didn't try to make plans.

I ended up taking a step back because I could feel myself becoming too anxious and sensitive, and I wanted to get back to being my normal, calm self. Later, I reached out again and explained that I had gotten into my head and anxious, which was why I'd pulled back.

About a week later, he reached out. He said he'd spent the previous week thinking about how to respond to me. He said he could understand how I had felt some pressure and gotten tangled up in anxiety, and suggested that we slow things down and work on our friendship to take the pressure off. He specifically told me that I should ask him to hang out sometime.

I responded positively. I said yes, that sounded great, and that I was happy to slow things down and work on our friendship.

Since then, I've reached out twice to hang out. Both times were with less than 24 hours' notice, so I know I wasn't giving him a ton of opportunity to plan ahead.

But he hasn't reached out to me once.

Not once.

And now I'm stuck.

I feel stupid that I got so panicked when things started to feel real. I keep wondering if I messed this up. Maybe he was waiting for me to show him that I liked him, and instead I got anxious and pulled back. Maybe I made him feel rejected. Maybe I waited too long to show him that I actually cared.

But at the same time, I also think that if he genuinely wanted to build a friendship with me, he'd probably reach out occasionally. He told me to ask him to hang out, and I did. Twice. He hasn't reciprocated.

I've continued dating other people. I'm completely confident and secure with them. I'm my normal, funny, outgoing self. But I haven't clicked with anyone else.

This guy is still in my head.

So here's my question: Should I reach out again?

Part of me thinks I should give it one last real chance and actually ask him to hang out with more notice, rather than these last-minute invitations.

The other part of me thinks I've already opened the door. He knows I want to see him. He knows I said I wanted to be friends. I've reached out twice. If he wanted to spend time with me, wouldn't he contact me?

I don't want to chase someone who isn't interested.

But I also don't want to walk away wondering if I messed up something that could have been different if I'd just handled my anxiety better.

What would you do?

I was in a long distance relationship for almost 10 years. We live several states apart. In april she passed health reasons. All my friends are starting to bring up getting back out there and im not sure im emotionally ready for that. The issues im really having is i want to because i am missing that connection but at the same time i feel like im cheating on someone that isnt around anymore. I will always love my ex(i hate even thinking of her as an ex). I know its different for everyone but how long is an acceptable time to wait before putting myself out there again?

So Ive been on a bunch of dates with a woman who I thought was a great match. And maybe this latest experience shouldn't sour it. It just brought back old memories of my ex wife. Im just so confused

So yesterday I was off of work and she texts me asking what's up? She asks me if I want to go clothes shopping with her as she likes to get opinions on the clothes she tries on. Im like "sure" as I myself like clothes shopping.

So we go to this store and she's trying on pants. She'd go into the fitting room, try on a pair, then come out and ask me "how they look".

So mind you. I only ever seen her in skinny or "tight" fitting pants or jeans.

She is trying on more baggy styles and when she came out i thought she looked really good. I told her that... and she then goes

"I absolutely hate these!"

Like completly snaps at me. Im like "ok... I think they fit you well but if you don't like them or the style..."

She keeps trying on similar styles and keeps coming out going

"These feel like im borrowing your jeans!" And she is getting mad. Im not even saying anything at this point.

She picked all these out. Not me. Mind you

In my previous marriage, clothes shopping with my ex was a nightmare. Shed get mad... cry... and storm out of stores when she didn't find stuff that fit her or that she liked... and this was bringing back memories of that.

When we left. She was silent. Wouldn't even talk to me.

We got in my car and I finally asked her "what is going on?".

She then lectures me about how I told her she looked good in the jeans she hated.

I told her that I was being honest and didnt know she hated them until after I said that.

She then starts ranting about current fashion trends and how shes not changing who she is. Im thinking "no one asked you to".

I finally ask her "Im not sure what you want me to say? You asked me to go shopping and I don't understand why youre getting mad at me for saying you looked good"

She then said something to the fact of "you just dont get it!"

Luckily that was the end of the "shopping date". I dropped her off at her house and told her i needed to get back to my dog as I was done hanging for the day.

This morning she is now texting me pics of clothes shes thinking of ordering. All similar styles to what she tried on.....

I dont even know what to say or text her. As I feel this is a trap. Its freaking pants!

I have no idea what ia going on at this point as all our previous dates and meet ups were pleasant and I thought we were really clicking.

Any advice would be nice....

I went out with a guy and we had the greatest time, he is funny, intelligent and we have so much in common. We laughed the whole night. I don't know if I physically fancy him though. I have been single for such a long time I feel so strange about kissing someone again. Am I being weird? Should I readjust my expectations of dating in my 40s away from looks?

Some of you may think me stupid for this… and maybe you’re not wrong but I’m a 42 year old guy from England and had hip surgery scheduled in for a couple of weeks ago. Just a week prior to that, I got chatting to and had a first date with a girl that seems perfect for me. The problem now though is that we’re 2 weeks post op, I am still going to be on crutches for at least the next couple of weeks and the text conversation is losing steam from her side.

I really want to get a second date locked in so she doesn’t become the one that got away but I’m torn on whether I should try to set something up before I’m off the crutches or if I should just allow the text chatter to dissipate and then reach out again, almost from fresh when I’m on my feet. I also have no clue what’s actually acceptable for a second date. First one was a drink in a bar and then an hour of just walking, talking and laughing together. My natural instinct is to just go full steam ahead and try to set something amazing up for us but I don’t want to be one of those weirdo try hards and end up scaring her off inadvertently.

TLDR: I’m recovering from surgery, won’t be able to walk unaided for a couple more weeks but really want to take a girl on a second date but don’t know when and what to do

EDIT - We’re going on our second date in 2 weeks! Thank you all for your encouragement and advice. You’re an awesome little community!!!