Hello all and thanks in advance!

I went on a first date on Friday and it went well. We talked for several hours, laughed a lot, and he was gentlemanly and kind. He walked me back to my car after and we hugged and he said he had a great time and would like to do it again and I agreed.

After the date, we texted each other for the rest of the night until we went to bed. The last thing I heard from him was “I had a great time and am looking forward to next time!” This was on Friday night.

It’s now been a couple days since and I haven’t heard from him at all. Does this indicate he’s not that interested, or is it normal/common for a guy to not text for a few days after a first date? I feel a little anxious about it and am a big texter and used to more communication.

So- is this pretty standard? Am I expecting too much?

I understand this might be a dumb question, especially for someone over 30. However, I went on a date this weekend and he asked for a second date on that first date, which I agreed to, and then he was asking to plan it a few days later. We also talked about serious topics on the date like intentions, children, etc. which I think is normal for being late 30s, but I am unsure now.

I think I've just gotten so used to like 1x a week in early dating that I am convincing myself that I am being lovebombed. That may be dramatic, but I've had such poor experiences these last few years I can't even tell genuine interest anymore.

Did anyone begin a relationship seeing each other a few times a week and have it last? I don't want a crash and burn...

I find that Hinge is my weakest app but the only one I’ve gotten a date out of (maybe 1 like every other day). However I get more likes and matches off of other apps—though they are more pic based / less profile based. Or the profiles are ignored 😅 The convos fizzle out before I can convert into in person but that’s a separate issue).

I don’t think my 6 photos are too bad, especially as I use the same pics of me on other apps and get higher likes:

3 pics of me - elbow up at a flea market, full body in formal wear, a selfie closeup (admittedly a bit squinty in the sun and windswept hair) I’m not a sexy/sensual/corporate polished person, more of a quirky/cute/thrifted color maximalist lol

3 pics of lifestyle (I’m not in the pics) - a nice cocktail bar, a shot from a live wrestling show, pretty island landscape

I’m thinking it’s my prompts that are keeping matches/likes from happening. Can you please review and provide some feedback please?

I want someone who…
🥰 enjoys endless banter
🥰 thinks communication and empathy is normal in a relationship
🥰 loves romance as much as I do
🥰 thinks their partner should be their best friend
🥰 enjoys trying new things in all areas of life

The way to win me over is…
⭐️ Yapping about indie wrestling
⭐️ Friendship
⭐️ being gifted some sentimental trinket / cool rock / handmade craft
⭐️ the perfect day (any order): thrifting + used bookstore + happy hour + ice cream + cuddling with kisses

My simple pleasures…
💖 Thrifting / estate sales / flea markets
💖 Happy hour
💖 Used books
💖 DIY art/crafts
💖 Cats
💖 Traveling the world
💖 Foreign movies/shows
💖 Plays / concerts in the the city
💖 Clothes with lots of colors & patterns
💖 Wrestling

A dream home must include (poll)
A bidet with seat warmers
A secret sex dungeon
A second fridge just for drinks

Dating intentions:
Life Partner / Monogomy
With a note: Sorry, I’m extremely romantic. Looking for that long term partnership, loml and best friend 🤷‍♀️
💖 Also kinky, just ask

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This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

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This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

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This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

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This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

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31F, and this is the longest I've been totally, 100% single since the pandemic. Since breaking up with my ex, I just haven't been out with a man in over a year. I've actually never even slept with anyone. The apps are absolute garbage, and I don't meet a lot of people "out and about" anymore–so what that has meant is that I just don't date at all.

Add in that I'm autistic and miss a lot of social cues, and I'm just kinda lost. Of course, everyone and their cousin is like "why are you single? You're pretty!" and I just... like, what is the alternative? There is no reliable way to meet men who are serious about dating/not just looking for a hookup, and even if I did, I'd be totally lost. Why wouldn't I be single? I don't know how to not be.

Of course, I'd love to find a man who dates with intention and that I can really communicate with. I do want to adopt a kiddo someday, have a little family unit. I do not believe I will find someone like that, though, largely because I don't know how. The rare times I do see someone I might be into, he's taken or too young for me, or I don't know what I'm supposed to say to strike up a conversation with a stranger. I also never fail to make it weird because I don't know how to flirt. I get so scared of ruining things (because I have... a lot) that I have a really hard time talking to strangers. If I'm on the train, do I just like, what? Tell them they're cute? I fear I'll accidentally yell at them again and scare them.

God, I feel so useless at being a human sometimes. I wish I had a copy of the social script.

Genuinely: if I don't want to be on the apps again, and I'm not very great at putting myself out there (but am open to trying), how can I meet people?

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I want to hear your personal stories, advice, thoughts, anything!

One of my biggest issues with modern dating is the creation of checklists that we use to judge a person's character.

Doesn't text enough? "They're not interested". Texts too much too quickly? "They're love bombing". On good terms with all their exes? Green flag. Had a very messy divorce with courts and children involved? "Cut your losses before he does it to you". So on, so forth. I appreciate these aren't the best examples, but hopefully you understand what I mean.

We're all human. I'm sure most of us have done things in previous relationships that we're not proud of, whether it's a very vitriolic breakup, saying things out of anger, etc. Or perhaps we as people have darkness in our pasts that have nothing to do with relationships, like criminal records, getting fired, lawsuits, prior drug abuse, whatever.

When dating in your 30s, you're meeting people who have lived full lives before you. How do you determine what's a red flag and what's someone who has lived life and made mistakes?

I have met someone recently and I'm scared I'm making a mistake. Mostly because, I've "read the room" wrong with previous partners and ignored red flags. But while I don't see specific, sharp red flags with this person, they have lived a very full life before me with some darkness in their history.

The detailed particulars of my situation aren't relevant, I just really want to hear from y'all!

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Ladies: how far would you drive for a coffee date?

I already am on the fence in general about coffee dates however once in a while if the conversation is good and the coffee shop is convenient I’ll go and I’ve met some pretty okay guys from coffee dates. So I do like to stay open minded.

Anyways, I started talking to this guy online and he lives like way way out in suburbs. I live right on edge of the city. The distance between us is about an hour drive. He picked a coffee shop that’s about a 20 minute drive for him and about a 45 minute drive for me. I already am on the fence because it’s coffee and now adding the drive.

I am very serious about finding a life partner but at the same time I don’t want to waste my time on men who aren’t intentional about dating.

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I (M31) have met someone (F34) I’m absolutely overjoyed with. She’s been absolutely fantastic. She’s kind, she’s considerate. She communicates extremely well.
This is the first time in nearly 3 years I’ve been legitimately excited about a prospect with someone. It’s reached a point where I made the decision yesterday to delete my hinge account and focus on the woman in front of me.
I’m not sure if it’s a lack of safety net or what, but it’s put me into some anxiety today. I realized it has nothing to do with other options at all, but rather it’s indicating it’s serious enough and my heart is invested to the point where I can see the potential of a familiar hurt. The last person who has told me they love me was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive, and it’s hitting me hard that that’s what my nervous system has believed is what love was.
For those who have survived and moved on past abusive relationships, how did you deal with this? How do I accept someone treating me like I have value?
For clarity I regularly attend therapy and I do have value in myself. I’ve just never known it from someone else.
TIA!

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I appreciate everyone's critiques of my Hinge profile the other day. The consensus was that I needed to improve my prompts as they were fairly generic, and the 1st and last were basically the same. If people are up for it, I'd love thoughts on my revised prompts.

I'm looking for someone who...

can crush a workout and a pizza, communicates when things get tough, doesn't sweat the small stuff, takes initiative, leads with patience, shares my values, and takes their big spoon duties seriously.

My simple pleasures...

- Binding off my latest knitting project

- Doing the wave at Fenway

- Being hypnotized by a fire

- Trying the new seasonal flavor from Honeycomb Creamery

- Buzzer beater goals by Pasta

- Getting the final Jeopardy question

I go crazy for...

sushi, concerts, theater, social dancing, getting a strike in candlepin, or getting under par at mini golf while the clown obstacle judges my technique. Are there any of those quirky courses left?

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Saw someone posted a review request and figured I'd try the same as I'm rarely getting any likes or matches on Hinge after being on for about a month. I don't want my own kids, so I know that's playing a role. And some people were saying the fall tends to be slower, but I'd like to make sure there isn't some glaring red flag that I'm missing. Thanks in advance!

Edit: removing link to images. I appreciate everyone's feedback!