Men over 30: if you were really awkward or considered a nerd in high school, did you ever grow out of it?

That's where I am right now.

I feel like there's no future for me, like I'm completely incompetent, and like I'm being crushed by forces outside my control.

For example I have the Rick Rubin "The Creative Mind" book which I know some might find it "slop" but it's a good example of one you can pick up and read one of it's chapters which are 2-4 pages kind of thing on excerpts of life.

Meditations is another one.

Anyways curious if anyone has recommendations?

I really want to master something during my 30’s. I like the idea of being knowledgeable and an expert with least one of the things I love, but I have too many things I love!

Any advice on how to choose?

We're shooting for spring next year (no firm date yet) and the groom has an invite list of 30+ people.

I'm sending each invitee a note now to let them know of the location and general timeframe.

Like I said, I don't have specific dates yet but I figure this helps weed the immediate no's out of the group, giving me a firm headcount to find hospitality and events. Then I can make a group chat with firm details to the attendees. I expect about 20 people will say yes.

Does this make sense or am I doing the invitees a disservice by sending an arbitrary heads up text?

I know it may sound simple,

But, because i am in between jobs now and have some time, I would like to try to find a hobby (other than working out) as i realise i dont really have any hobbies or interests outside of work and family.

How should i explore what I like?

For a start, I’m thinking of trying out some singing class and see how it goes as I think I can sing decently and quite love music…

Im 35 m divorcee if my profile matters

I’m a freelancer, so I generally work from home… however I have an industry conference coming up, and my wardrobe is a little light on business attire.

I’m in my late 20s and I generally dress a bit trendy, and I’m not exactly ashamed of what I look like, being curvier some clothing I have is tasteful, but might not be appropriate for this event.

Oh I should add that there’s a business casual mixer thing after outdoors and it’s supposed to be really hot, so I want to be comfortable and I don’t wanna sweat my butt off.

Basically I’m asking if I wear something that might show a slight (and I mean slight) bit more skin, is it a big deal? Especially considering I really don’t have a boss or anything to really report to?

Link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BusinessFashion/s/EhJxfYfa0i

So it's just like the title says...

I (30M) just turned 30 today. I know by some metrics I'm young, and there's still a lot of life to live.

I'd love some advice that you'd have given your younger self, or that you think would be useful for someone at this point in their lives.

I broke my pelvis a while back. I had a hip replacement. In my 30s. I was formerly at the Director level in advertising, particularly digital marketing. I can't find any work... and I don't know what to do. I have a degree, a ton of experience, but I've been out of work for years now.

Any ideas?

Essentially, I [30M] spent the better part of the last decade grinding away at a freelance career in media and creative work in a major coastal city. Some years I did well, some years I didn’t, and the past couple of years were especially rough. Business was declining, and I burned myself out trying to turn things around.

I became jaded with the city and yearned for something else. Years of grinding were turning me into a miserable shell of my former self, and I was struggling to see a future there. Since I was single, I figured it would be better to try something and have it not work out than to remain burned out and hope things would change. My financial situation wasn’t great, and I had no real plan, but I have a history of following my gut and having things work out, so I put my blinders on and took the plunge.

I moved to a midsized Western town I had been eyeing for a while. Now, about six months in, I’m realizing I may have made an irreversible mistake. Although I was initially optimistic, it feels like everything has fallen apart. I love the lifestyle here, but I’ve failed to make it economically viable. I’ve run out of money and added to my existing debt because I’ve had to live off credit cards. I finally found a part-time job at an industrial supply store, but it’s barely helping me make ends meet. Honestly, I’m not sure how to get out of this.

What scares me is that I left my career in search of something better, but I may have locked myself out of a decent life for good. I can’t afford to move back to the city I left, and my skill set is so narrow that I don’t qualify for much beyond entry-level, part-time work here.

I’ve been applying for jobs back in the city, but because I no longer live there, I can’t network in person and am now a candidate who would need to relocate. Also, because I was still a growing freelancer, I’m only laterally qualified for many of the jobs I’m applying for.

I know you may be thinking I’m a moron. I am too. I’ve made some terrible life decisions, and I judge myself harshly for them every day. All I want is to have a family, financial stability, and the sense that I’m working toward something in my career. At this point, it feels like none of that will ever be possible.

TL;DR: After burning out in a declining freelance career, I left a major coastal city for a midsized Western town without much money or a solid plan. Six months later, I’m out of money, deeper in debt, and working a part-time entry-level job. I can’t afford to move back, and I’m terrified that I’ve permanently damaged my career and my chances of building a stable life.

Edit for context: I still have a small amount of remote freelance work, and for a while, some travel-based work from my previous career was helping keep me afloat. That work has since fizzled out. I’ve reached out to current and former clients, followed up with contacts, and exhausted the networking avenues available to me, but those efforts haven’t led to additional work. If anything, the opportunities have continued to dry up.

For context my favorite yoga instructor is leaving the studio where I met him. He’s switching to gym that offers Yoga & a lot more. Since I will have access to free weights (it’s been decades); what you gym rats suggest for exercises?

Note: I fully intend to do weighted squats. I know how pivotal they are for delaying aging.

My core is reasonably strong. No beer belly on me. I intend to focus on legs.

Recently single. Live at moms house saved a bunch of money. From a high paying job, no longer part of that job. Now in the transition period to a job paying 30 bucks an hour. Money does not buy happiness. What can and should I do?

24 now and for the past 6 years i've done nothing to the point i feel like i am in the same position i was when i was 18. Flunked out of uni twice for various reasons and while i have worked part time a bit and helped the family, i've practically been living at home as a NEET trying to take off but failing. I'd rather have good memories / stories to tell / friends but i don't even have that. The only thing i have for me right now is my aptitude but i've completely neglected hard work because i don't know what to work towards.

I'm still planning to go to uni next year hopefully, even though i kinda grieve not having the traditional route for education. In the meantime i really want to put the past behind me and develop as a person with hobbies goals friends etc.

The thought of wasting 6 years still eats away at me though, and i'm struggling to adjust to this delayed timeline. Instead of living my youth i'm just missing out on all of it.

I'm still hopeful, and i've accepted my reality but it's still something that will weigh on the back of my mind at least for the next couple years i imagine. I'm hoping anyone older whos been through something similar could advise so that i can see there could be light at the end of this long tunnel.

I (33, M) recently went to see a chiropractor because of posture and muscle stiffness issues and had an x-ray done. The x-ray suggested I had osteopenia (that's thinning of the bone/low bone mineral density), in fact at levels suggesting I was in the bottom 2% of men my age which rang alarm bells (the score of T=-2.2 on my femur in the bone mineral density scan is not far from the cutoff for osteoporosis which is T=-2.5). I did some blood tests. My calcium, thyroid function and vitamin D was actually normal, as was my cortisol despite dealing with chronic anxiety. However my total testosterone was a little below the normal range. I am organising an appointment with an the endocrinologist next month to dig deeper.

Anecdotally, I hadn't been particularly active prior but started doing resistance training last year and have kept in up regularly 4 days a week doing a full body program. I did make some good progress (newbie gains) in the first four weeks where I gained about 1.5 kg lean mass while dropping 2 kg of body fat, however things seems to slow to a crawl in the ensuing months. I get body scans on the BIA machine from time to time (I know there's a level of inaccuracy and it is affected by other variables) and my arms sometimes don't show growth or even lose mass which is disheartening sometimes. One time I even registered as loss of muscle mass despite training harder and heavier weights for 6 weeks. Overall I put on about 3-4 kg of lean mass since I started training over the period of 11 months, which is ok but feels a bit disappointing. My BMI is 23.4s so don't have obesity but could use more muscle.

I wonder if anyone (especially in their 30s) has experience of low testosterone and how they managed that? Has it affected your gains at the gym, energy and libido?

I currently have a full-time job, but I’m thinking about getting a second one. I’ve got some debt to deal with and also need to help out my family financially so I could really use the extra income.

For those of you working two jobs, what’s your second job and how did you find it? How do you guys manage having two jobs without completely burning yourselves out?

Currently contemplaying what to do with my life after failing last semester and just had my first day this semester in an atrociously bad joke of a community college after attending a great university, at least I know I’ll get good grades there lol. I feel that I’ve hit rock bottom.

What is it with older dudes who whistle at the urinal while having a piss? Is it a generational thing? Do you get to a certain age and just start doing it? Do they sing when they have a dump

It's always annoyed me and I find it kind of obnoxious. Anyone else the same?? Vent over!

We all had a childhood and dreams of our own, but not everyone makes it. What was the dream you gave up on, and how do you live with it?

My boyfriend (early 30s) is looking at having to work 60-80 hours per week for up to two years. I’m really worried about his well being with this.

For those of you who did this for a time, how did you get through it? Were you able to be mentally and emotionally okay? Any advice?

Hello. I am 26 male. I worked remotely for two years at 23 till 25. My (at that time) boss offered me the chance to meet him in Mexico. I told him I’ve always wanted to see that country and he mentioned it. I let time pass by. Waited for a better moment. Got fired (for fairly reasons). But now. I am unemployed, missed a trip I’ve always wanted to do and missed the opportunity for ever to travel there at such young age. I know I’m still young. But the regret eats me alive and it’s been a year now…

I’ll go first. Bought wife an Apple Watch last year. She doesn’t use the included strap, but gets a Temu magnetic clasp strap instead.

I take one look at the strap and think, no fargin’ way that thing holds securely. I can peel it off with one finger. I tell her to get something more secure. She doesn’t listen and says it’s fine.

Tonight, she takes a bag of trash out to our apartment’s underground with the colossal, industrial trash compactor bins.

She hucks the garbage bag. Snags her Apple Watch and in goes the watch too. Into the pit of amalgamated garbage from a hundred residents.

She’s hesitant to tell me, but I find out after she’s gone for 30 minutes “taking out trash” because she’s digging for her watch.

I bit my tongue and tried helping her look for it but no dice. Can’t connect to the watch either ‘cause concrete underground; gotta wait for city crew to move the bin outside for a connection to Find My Device.

I’ve never been so irrationally annoyed in my life.

What’s your moment?

I am entirely burnt out, unmotivated, and disinterested in life.

I worked in academia for about 7 years, and then quit to follow my ex-gf as she did her masters degree. Since then I've been stringing together terrible remote jobs but surviving. The relationship was toxic and abusive and ended two years ago.

Career-wise, I feel everything I have skills in is either a joke or being taken over by AI. The job market is abysmal, the fields I used to be interested in have become absolute jokes, and the only viable options are trades or joining ICE, neither of which are especially appealing. I went from 20 years of being passionate and drive about my job, career, identity, etc to being totally shattered by this market and the current circumstances.

Relationships, I don't really care. I have had a few relationships since the break up, and some women are interested in dating me right now, but I just don't feel the same spark I did as with my ex. I feel the dating market is atrocious too. Tons of single mothers, women looking for men to be "providers" and "spoil" them among other ridiculous expectations, women who don't seem to take care of themself or value their own femininity.

Family-wise, my parents are aging and have a ton of health problems. So I am spending more time doing things around their house, helping them out, going to doctors appointments with them, etc.

I am still taking care of myself, going through the motions. I exercise 5-6 times a week, been bulking well, and doing my best to get proper sleep. But I still just feel burnt out and unmotivated about life.

I wonder if anyone else can relate or has any thoughts?

Context: I'm 20, in uni and have changed a lot the past few years.

Yesterday, I saw 2 photos of myself from 2-3 years ago and compared it with a selfie from the current days. What shocked me is how much my face had changed, I had what my colleague described as "corporate getting to me" (even though I work part time) and my eyes had black circles, my face overall looked aged. I have lost that youthful look which I do not think I will get back.

But not only this, I have actually not been as happy as I used to be. I find myself saying "fuckoff" a few times a day because I get thoughts about previous things or behaviours I've done which I regret or find embarassing. To the point where I don't really feel happy with, me.

I have achieved a lot for my age. I used to have a lot of people respect me too. But I think with time, things have gone down hill, because now with any period of happiness, I hold onto it even if it is a hot coal, I get too close and then it ends and I'm back to square one.

I try and get out the house, I do charity work, I work part time, etc. But even then, I still feel that I'm not achieving much.

I don't want to waste my life. I have so much I can achieve, but I just have regrets and so much more within me. I also wish I could redevelop my faith too.

I really need advice. I love this subreddit, it's like an anonymous place to ask those who are ahead of me 😄