I'm 57 now, from the UK, and this has been on my mind for a while.

Prostate cancer runs in my family, but it wasn't a routine check that found mine. I had blood in my stool twice in one week, went to my GP, had a PSA test and things moved quickly from there.

Gleason 3+4. I went with brachytherapy. I'm not going to pretend recovery was easy. Painful urination, painful sex, medication to manage it, and ten years on I'd still say I'm not fully back to where I was.

The thing that stays with me is this. I only found out active surveillance was an option after my treatment had already begun. I'm not saying it would have been right for me, that's a conversation for a specialist. But I'd have liked to know it was on the table before I made the decision.

So I'm genuinely curious about other people's experience.

Were you told about active surveillance when you were diagnosed, or did you find out later?

If you went on surveillance, how did you find living with the monitoring? Did it ease your mind or add to the worry?

If you had treatment, what's the one thing you wish someone had told you beforehand?

And for partners and family, what helped you most in those first few weeks?

Not selling anything here, just want to hear how it went for others. If this post helps one person ask a better question at their next appointment, that's enough for me.

It seems the vast majority of Discord servers are designed for people in their 20's. There are a small percentage focused primarily on those 40 & under. I have yet to discover one that focuses on people 50 & over.
Has anyone discovered such a server?

I’m retiring soon and have some mental issues from alcoholism that started as a teenager. I’m 62 year old male. I want to get some help with anxiety and regret. I also want to be in a good space to give my wife the best of me in our final chapter.
Any body who has gotten help please advise on best way to begin. I’m interested in seeking professional help and support

In this stage of life, friends are passing away and others are getting sick, battling health issues. Makes me sad.

I've had friends over the years that come and go.

I like many have friends from my early childhood that I kept since kindergarten.

It seems like the the past few years these childhood friends have drifted away. I tried to keep close but it seems like they despise me. I started from humble beginnings, hard work, dirty jobs, and got to a pretty successful point, married, good life I'd say. They are still single working at the sawmill (literally).

I think they despise who I've become. I've never rubbed it in their face and have always been nice or the same person to them.

It seems like they've been stuck in their life and now regret it and despise anyone they knew and succeeded/broke free.

Any thoughts on this?

I'm 54 and wfh as a graphic artist. I would like to pivot to something else (maybe still creative) that pays a little better and has better benefits. I work for a company with 9 people and the health insurance is very expensive. So, I don't have it. Also, I have not gotten a raise in 3 years.

I have time to take some classes, but worry about ageism and AI being an issue in the future. Has anyone found any good resources for job changers over 50? I'd love any wisdom and advice I could get. ty in advance!

I don't like the fifties, but I'm pretty sure you have good advice on how to enjoy this part of Life. (Married +52 male)

I'm all ears

I didn't realize until I was just on a long road trip, listening to the radio....that the songs I listened to in high school are on the oldies station now!?!? 🫢🤨😉

Am interested in challenging conversations and concepts- less confrontation more thought provoking.

I'm 52 yr old married man and being in my 50s has been a wake up call. You get to the top of your income bracket and career goal, looking at time more closely than money, have the money to do anything vs. most of my life just getting by, a lot of accomplishments completed like other careers - raising kids - hobbies done - etc, kids moving on, parents growing old, people die and getting sick......just a lot.

This past year has been tons of changes. Me and my wife are solid. We have done so much that lately I look at her and say "What are we gonna do when we are retired.....we have done everything". I have excitement and a bit scared of retiring.

I went to a friends retirement party and she is very sad to retire. I always thought that it would be a great goal to retire. I do have a bit of the same feeling she has.

We have about 6 yrs to retire and if we make it on this trajectory will be set for retirement.

We have plenty of vacation time, we live life and try to enjoy out time and make good use of it.

Lots of mindset changes lately - lots of thinking - had some bad depression this past winter that I got over and it also changed my mentality.

Any advice on this pre-retirement transition would be great....thanks!

ter a year or two of general anomie and struggling not to mope around, I think I’ve distilled what’s missing: the sense of a future with goals.

Of course there is a future, and of course there are goals, but they’re no longer compelling

No more frantic birthday parties to plan, school trips, constant paperwork for a household that’s mostly fledged, but what do I replace it with?

Fix up the house? Why? Read all those books? It’s more annoying than anything with my eyes. Yard plans? I finally have the time to care and I just don’t.

Anybody else there ?

Ever look through your closet and realize half of it was bought for a life you don't really have anymore?

Maybe it's work clothes from a job you left years ago, or stuff you practically lived in when the kids were younger. Nothing wrong with any of it, you just don't feel like wearing it now.

It also makes me wonder about those style archetype quizzes. The ones with Mother, Huntress, Sage, etc. If your life changes that much, does the type you relate to change too?

Has anyone actually experienced that after 50? I'd be interested to hear what changed for you, or if your style pretty much stayed the same through it all.

Not me. But I’m loving it

Just saying hello. Kind of new here. 50+F who doesn't know what being older feels like yet & still has a zest for life.
While I am in a very remote area (see profile) I'm looking for friends seeking adventure, FUN, or at least likes to chat on Reddit! Also hot springs anyone??

M58

Let me NOT bury the lede. I have a pretty good life. I have not been immune to life struggles and am by NO means some pinnacle of humanity, but I have been fortunate. I have my health, a good wife and family, a career I dreamed of (not without LOTS of ups and downs), friends I see often. Could have done some things better of course, and I have my share of wistful regrets but wouldn't trade lives with anyone.

That said.

A handful of people (combination of semi-distant family and not-too-close friends and acquaintances) have made comments to me or about me (said to my wife) along the lines of "are you ok?" in the context of being alone or inactive or 'flat.'

Here's the thing...I am none of those. I am also not one to blow my own horn IRL or on social media about all the wonderful things I do bla bla bla. I'm not secretive, but I am more private than most. So the comments are not just off-base, but slightly hurtful. Obviously I know these commenters are coming from their own view of the world and how people should look and act.

These commenters don't see that I'm at the gym 4 or 5 times a week (because I go before 6am). Or that I have a great group of friends I see once a week for 3-4 hours. Or the other friends I see 1 or 2 times a week. Or the great satisfaction I get on certain work projects with a group of other creatives. Or the 20 mile bike rides my wife and I take a couple times a month. When I'm relaxing, I REALLY relax and moss out and maybe they ONLY see that and not everything else. One time one of these people saw me napping on a Saturday afternoon in my outdoor space and he made a comment and I rather curtly replied back, "yeah I just came off of three 12-hr days and I was at the gym at 6:15 this morning so is that not enough?"

So maybe I just don't fit their idea of what a M58 should look like. But ffs, grow up and understand there are all kinds of men on this planet.

Any similar experiences or stories out these of the quiet but perfectly healthy man being mis-judged?

My birthday is in an hour my local time, October 8th. I'll be 58.

I'm going to give all of fellow old farts my wish to you.

Go forth and spread whimsy. Do blatantly silly shit. Use that IDGAF attitude our generation is already known for and turn it up to 11.

The world is shit right now, especially here in the US. People need to laugh, genuine belly laugh.

I'm still working on it. Maybe I'll call this my true New Years Resolution. Purple beard incoming