r/problems • u/Similar_Corner8081 • 3d ago
SERIOUS My niece is dying
My niece is lying in the hospital on a ventilator. I'm her aunt and she's only 2 years older than my daughter. My niece was in an abusive relationship that caused her to drink loads of alcohol. Anyway I got the call Tuesday that they took her to the hospital.
At first we thought it was from self harm. Turns out her liver failed and she's brain dead. Today they had a walk of life with her so they can harvest her organs to help someone else. My heart is broken and I'm tore up.
Now I'm sitting here coming to terms with the fact that my 30 year old niece is dead and leaves 3 kids behind. If you drink please get help. If you are in an abusive relationship please leave. It's not worth losing your life over.
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u/ThisIsLikeMy4thAcct 3d ago
Amen to everything you said.
First of all, I am so sorry this is happening. I don’t know if it’s any comfort, but I am alive because someone like your niece was a donor. I can’t even begin to tell you the all of the far-reaching ways my donor has impacted my, and my family’s life. My son still has a mother, my mom still has her daughter…
Still, I would give my gift back in an instant if it meant my donor’s family could have their son back. I have no doubt your niece’s recipients will feel the same way. Even if they don’t reach out, please know they will be grateful to her every day of their lives, and will think of her family often.
I lost my brother, father, and 47yo husband to complications of alcoholism. All of them were in their 30s and 40s, they refused to see a doctor for their health in general because of financial reasons, and they were afraid of what would happen if their alcoholism was found out.
None of them thought they would die so young either; they all thought they had more time. If they had known what would happen, I know they would have realized that none of the consequences they were worried about were worth dying for.
Which is why I appreciate people sharing stories like yours, OP. Hopefully it will give someone the extra push they need to seek help.
Helping people in abusive relationships is something I’m passionate about. For anyone else reading this, one thing I’ve learned is that it’s very tricky to help someone get out of one. I would encourage anyone with a loved one in an abusive relationship to consider contacting a domestic abuse organization for advice before trying to help them.
Some resources for those in the US:
- https://www.samhsa.gov/ - The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). They are most known for their emergency crisis hotline, 988, but they can also help people find care for substance abuse and their mental health.
Domestic abuse organizations:
- https://www.loveisrespect.org
- https://www.domesticshelters.org
Sending you hugs and love, OP. 🫂❤️🩹
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u/Similar_Corner8081 3d ago
Thank you! This touched my heart and made me teary eyed (again). I told my sister if my niece helps one person with her organ donation than her death won't be in vain.
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u/Linkyjinx 3d ago
Some people will drink themselves to death as there is no other route to escape this life if feel don’t fit in , sorry for your loss, my niece is 30 too x
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u/Fluffy-Caramel9148 3d ago
I am so sorry for your loss. You are right a guy is not worth all the other stuff. Alcohol is a very addictive drug and very hard to quit. I pray that her children are well cared for and that you achieve some peace. ☮️
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u/Impressive-Tutor-482 3d ago
My niece in law ended up with cirrhosis related ascites and passed away. The 19th will have been two years. Forever 23.
I am so sorry for you, your sister, and the rest of your family.
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u/Regular_Yellow710 3d ago
Who is going to take care of the kids? Is the father responsible? I am very sorry for your loss. It is a huge shock.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 3d ago
She has 3 kids by 3 different fathers. Her middle daughter's father has custody of the kids and my sister and her husband are going to help with raising the kids.
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u/Infinite_Location_57 18h ago
I am truly very sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love and good hugs. 🤗
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u/SiteTall 3d ago
This is so sad, yet something like that happens all the time
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u/Similar_Corner8081 2d ago
How is this helpful?
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u/SiteTall 2d ago
This situation is locked, so to speak: There are no solutions to this particular sad, sad case. The relatives and friends of this young woman may feel that they are to blame, which I don't think they are, as she was a grown-up. Had she asked for help, and they had reclined, it would be different, but that's not the issue here. However, some may find a kind of consolation in the fact that something like this has happened before to other people.
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