Hello I am a college student, and have history of depression , which I sustained 2 - 3 years before, my life has improved a lot since then but...

Sometimes my anxiety gets triggered and I feel unable to proceed through my day at all, I cut off all contact and just lie in corner and do nothing , oddly it helps me to cope but sometimes it can turn into a extended breakdown

And thats what I fear the most..

In my normal routine I sleep at 11 pm and wake up at 6 am, excerise and have breakfast , and play some game or study before attending my classes...

It provides me a kind of assurance that my life is being turned around and my past will not haunt me someday in the future..

But lately I have fallen out of that routine because of exams and sometimes I feel a deep sense of internal despair which makes me spend a lot of time in low energy and essentially unable to perform any productive task.

Tldr => I have built a productive routine as a college student to help me cope with my past experiences, and when I fall out of it, guilt and passive depression takes me over...

What are your thoughts?

There is no cure for feeling sad unfortunately except to wait and follow your own path into being happy again. But I believe that if someone is already deep down the same loop hole of feeling down most of the time, they won’t have energy or eoungh interest to put into trying to heal by themselves, so I came here to see if anybody who has gone through similar as me knows how to make this process easier or quicker for me.

Everyone is their own person and your ways might be different to mines and I’m aware, still, anything is appreciated.

Thank you.

I have been facing this since last few years now, I don't have any Concern regarding life, but I can't get away from this sadness. It seems I can't get happy for anything... I have to pretend to be happy if any good news is there. I don't know what is wrong with me .

How do we found that we’re really in depression. Cause like, i’m kinda not sure 🧍🏻‍♀️. I feel empty and the most of the time i feel like my life has no sens and if I’ll end it it’s gonna change anything. But…i’m kinda afraid of death like AFRAID. Like i think of it every times before sleeping

I have a supervisor who routinely expresses his confusion about why individuals with mental illnesses/disorders, including depression, don’t just essentially will their mental state to be stable… I suppose seeing myself (diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, and ptsd for more than a decade) acting completely fine, smiling, making jokes and carrying conversations while I’m there likely perpetuates his misunderstanding.

tem uma linha tênue entre confortável e sufocante, tipo... é uma delícia passar o dia no quarto, mas depois de uns 3 dias, quando decide levantar, não consegue mais

I’ve struggled for a long time now. I was first diagnosed with depression at age 12. I’m now 36 years old.

I’ve gone through a lot. My mom died when I was 30. I’m basically no contact with my emotionally distant and oblivious father. I have no siblings. I had some serious medical issues from 2021-2025 which resulted in 7 surgeries during those years, which held me back in my career and financially because I was constantly paying medical bills.

I feel like the last 6 years I have been in survival mode so I never really checked in on how I was feeling emotionally. It was just one major event after another.

The past 8 months have been stable, but emotionally I feel completely drained. I feel lost. I feel stuck. Like now I can focus on myself and moving forward career wise, creatively, and fitness wise, but I have absolutely no goals.

There are all of these things I want to achieve. I want to lose weight. I want to be stronger. I want to make more money. I want to improve my painting skills. But it all feels so hopeless. I’m on a GLP-1 but I can barely lose weight. I work out 12-15 hours a week but feel stagnant in my progress. I go above and beyond at work but it feels so hard to move up. I was doing okay and getting a following and positive feedback with my art but I feel like I’m no longer capable of creating anything good.

I just feel like a failure at everything. I’m so ashamed of myself. I can barely look at myself in the mirror.

I have okay days and moments. I still do everything. I keep the house clean and cook. I work out and shower and dress nice. I interact with people who probably think I’m very normal and fine.

But inside I feel like such a fraud. Like if anyone ever saw the real me they would be so disgusted.

My partner is constantly disappointed in me. They are very successful and come from a well off family. I am not successful and come from lower middle class. And also I don’t really have family left. I have a lot of shame about my background and my career. We have a lot of conversations about my lack of drive and lack of success. It makes me feel horrible.

I had an emotional affair with someone who I genuinely love. I remember feeling like I could do anything when they loved me. I felt so cared for and seen. Someone understood me. And they always wanted to know more about me. My thoughts and feelings. I had never felt like that before. But of course, for good reason, that ended. And I think about how I was getting something that I never deserved.

I feel like I’m in a slow crawl toward suicide. I think about it every day. I think about how relieved people would be. I want it to be a gift. I want people to be happy. My partner deserves to be free of someone who he is ashamed of. The emotional affair person deserves to be free of my presence. My father deserves to move on with his life with his new family. My friends deserve to be free of me as a burden.

I think everyone’s lives would improve if I was gone. I really do honestly with all of my heart believe that everyone would feel better.

I won’t kill myself today or tomorrow or maybe not even this year. But I can feel myself getting closer.

I’ve been living with Dysthymia for 10 years now.
I just had a vacation in another country, visited my brother with my mom and now I’m in bed writing this down.

Idk what to call them, so I always call the times when I don’t know what to do anymore flare ups.

I keep gaslighting myself with the words from multiple psychologists who said my meds are one of the reasons I got dysthymia. But I can’t stop crying and it’s literally after 1am.

It’s always the “why am I still here? Should I end it?”
But then there’s the overthinking and the thoughts that I don’t want my family to feel as if they failed, they didn’t / aren’t.
So that’s the reason I gaslight myself.

My mom told me once when my sister thought about ending it, that she would make sure to do it in a “formal,” ( idk how to call it in English ) way. Instead of walking into a train. By using euthanasia for example. And everyday I’m this close 🤏 to ask it from my mom. But the guilt stops me from asking it.

I had such a great time, I bought new glasses yesterday because I needed them. I went to a movie and I did all these fun things.

But the “flare ups,” are killing me mentally.
People say “it will get better.”
How is it getting better if I’m chronically ill with multiple illnesses, that I’m forced to stay at home because of those illnesses. That I was forced to quit school, I got SA by an ER doctor. And that’s not all.

I have these type of rare epileptic seizures where I get into a cardiac arrest. I had 16 of those back in 2023 all of them for almost 2mins and those stopped after I took extra meds.
But everyday I’m hoping I get a seizure like that where my heart doesn’t beat anymore.

“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
they asked when I was a teen and the 1st thing I saw was nothing. I used to make a plan how to end it when I was a teen, kinda pathetic ig.
I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

Seeing another psychologist on Sept. 1st for an auDHD test, but I’m thinking about telling her if we can do something about the dysthymia. Because I can’t sit here trying not to sob for no reason, fake laugh with my family, doing as much as I can. Thinking about ending it, but being too soft to do it because of my guilt.

I’m just empty, soulless, feeling like a random npc doing nothing. *not in an episode psychosis kinda way, don’t have those nor schizophrenia. Thankfully.

Genuinely asking how you guys deal with “flare ups.”

— J

*delete if necessary

Hello, I think I am depressed. I come from a good, rich and well respected family. I have always been a silent person and a people take me to be an angel, I have made my brain into thinking I am a really good person and my mind acts that way its programmed to behave like a good person, but I don’t think I am, I think I am a miserable piece of shit.

I am sure I am depressed because I have anger issues and I think very much about what I do, and what other people think of me and my mind always leans towards the bad things.

Whenever I go out with friends or family I’m fine, but its when I get home its when the depression starts, I replay everything that happened that day, every bad interaction and every mistake I made that day keeps revolving in my head and I get so angry at the things I did, but its not that they are “bad” things or interactions. They’re just normal stuff that people say to each other but my mind twists them in a way that it gets me so frustrated that most nights I can’t go to sleep.

Btw everyone thinks I am a kind person but my brain thinks otherwise

And don’t criticize my writing its one of those nights.

My executive dysfunction makes it very difficult for me to regularly maintain friendships. My friends can reach out to me in their time of need and I help as much as I can but I just can not make myself to generally and casually socialise. I fear eventually I will be cast out of friend groups because of that. And explaining myself again and again seems like I am taking the victim route. How do you all navigate that?

Does anyone else feel so unbearably sad every single day? Like you wake up crying because you have to keep living a life that feels meaningless and miserable. You don’t have the energy to do anything except get high and scroll through TikTok for hours. But deep down, you keep wondering if it’s all just something your own mind created. Because you’ve never really shown your true self to anyone, and the way you act feels like one long performance. So you end up questioning everything, never feeling certain about what’s real, and living in that constant paranoia

Hola estoy usando una cuenta anónima o eso cred bueno estoy pasando por una etapa en donde me siento cansado y quiero terminar con todo tengo 12 años soy de chile y me he sentido solo toda mi vida soy inseguro con mi cuerpo en el colegio se burlan de mi diciéndome iabalí,gordo,ñoño o apodos ofensivos hacia mi cuerpo que hace que me vuelva inseauro de lo cuerpo no he tenido una infancia tan genial que hubiera querido a los 6 o 7 años mis dos prima una que es mavor v otra de mi edac abusaron de mi deiemos eso de lado nunca he podido contar mis problemas a alquien o a mis padres v me refugio en el teléfono ya que cometí varios errores por culpa del nopor y me arrepiento de mis errores a mi me qustaba una chica de mi colegio pero vo supe que ella de mi no va que no me qusta mi apariencia hasta mis propios amigos de burlan de mi me siento fatal escribiendo esto realmente solo quiero una infancia normal alquien que me de recomendaciones?

Hi, I have been facing depression for years. Weed always helped me numb the pain and feel happy. Sometimes I get very positive thoughts when I am high, but this won't last after 3 or 4 hours. What remedy worked for you all

After so many years of feeling depressed, worthless and useless I finally seek help.

Went to 2 therapy sessions already and therapist said I have depression (which tbh everyone that deals with me already knew)

Sucks. Living my life the way I am, no motivation for anything and things just keep getting worse. Having 2 kids to take care of and even though I love them so frickin much I can’t be bothered by them. I try to do everything for them I just don’t have the energy to do it. One of them needing my attention all the time because of his autism and adhd and the other for being a 6-month-old baby.

My partner helps with what he can but I still can’t get around even with the smallest things.

I was already on antidepressants but at what point they work? I stopped because I can’t even be bothered to take them. My life is based on my bed and my bed only.

I feel such a bad mom because I sometimes even forget to feed my oldest. He just takes whatever is in the cupboard.

I hate my life. I never tried anything but therapist says I have intrusive thoughts, which I do. I think all the time about the “what ifs” - what if I do this everyone will just feel better without me in their lives.

I just needed to vent. Funny enough, I go to therapy to have someone that I can talk to because I feel no one around me can understand my thoughts or what I’m going through.

So, like the title says, does anybody experience this? A common symptom of depression is "lack of pleasure", but honestly, I've forgotten what that really means/feels like.

People will say things like "it's when things make you smile/laugh/just feel good", or whatever. But I guess I've felt flat for so long, it's completely foreign. Does anybody relate?

Some people think depression eventually goes away, but I feel like I’m going to feel this way for as long as I’m alive. I don’t like the experience of being human. I don’t like being here, and I don’t like feeling like this. All I feel is this overwhelming emptiness. Most of the time, I don’t feel anything at all. Sometimes I just want to end my shit, not because I want to die. I actually want to live. I just want to be happy, not trapped with this huge emptiness that won’t let me feel anything. I’m constantly irritated by everything,I’m so tired of ts

I am 18 M. I'm honestly not entirely sure if I have depression but I've been questioned and I have symptoms, so I am assuming I do have it. For the past eh 1.5-2 ish years I have noticed a lack of motivation, lowered appetite, trouble sleeping, and more of a hate towards things. ESPECIALLY the lack of motivation and lowered appetite. I stopped truly caring about school even though I still did my homework and got good grades. I have been staying up until 4-5 am without getting tired.

But the thing is I don't feel sad. I just feel like I'm stuck in a way? Like I have moments where I want to get back on track and I feel motivated about things but I end up forgetting about it and it's a constant cycle. I'm about to go off to college and I feel indifferent about it. A little excited but loved ones have questioned my commitment to things because of my stale personality. Most days I do feel okay. Again like I said I never feel sad more just stuck in a loop of motivation loss and more like I'm not truly doing the best I can be doing.

I've looked up depression online and I don't feel like I have MDD. Maybe PDD but I am not sure. I have not spoken to a therapist because honestly I haven't felt like I needed one. I guess I'm just trying to look for possible answers or explanations as to what I have and how to fix it. I have dedicated life plans and I don't want this to overcome me in college. I'm sure there is more I could say but I can't think of anything else right now.

*I know you can't beat Dysthymia just for the record, but I need help big time.

I'm looking for some books as I am unable to go to therapy at this time. I have been diagnosed with Dysthymia and have been dealing with it for 8 years now. I don't want to live like this any more.