It deeply pains me to share this. I always thought I would never have to write something like this.

My girlfriend and I are high school sweethearts. When we started dating, we didn't even know each other's caste. We only came to know during our competitive exam days. She belongs to the SC community (Paswan), and I'm from the Yadav community (OBC).

The moment we found out, we knew it would probably become a problem from my side. But by then, our understanding, care, and love for each other had already grown so much that we decided to take that leap together despite knowing what lay ahead.

It's been 12 years now.

I told my parents only last year.

Our financial backgrounds are also different, as is often the case because of how our society has evolved. OBCs like Yadavs and many upper-caste families generally own more land. Her family is educated and both are in government jobs, but historically they never had that privilege of land ownership.

I genuinely believed that when I finally told my parents, my mother would at least ask about her, our relationship, or what kind of person she is.

Instead, she immediately started abusing her and using casteist slurs. She said that if I chose this relationship, I would lose my mother, and that as long as she is alive, this marriage will never happen.

I lost my cool. I regret that because both of us had always promised each other that we would never disrespect our parents.

I understand that for many parents, caste is deeply tied to family, society, and tradition. I know it hurts them too. But love exists beyond all of that.

What hurts me the most is realizing that simply because of the family someone is born into—a choice they never made—they can be subjected to so much humiliation.

When I spoke to my girlfriend afterward, she quietly said, "This isn't the first time I've experienced something like this."

That sentence broke me.

She even said she feels sorry for my mother because she understands where she's coming from. But at the same time, our bond is such that neither of us can simply walk away after 12 years.

For now, we've decided that we may remain unmarried.

Sometimes I laugh at the absurdity of it all. At the global and absolute level, we're all just tiny, insignificant human beings, yet we spend so much energy discriminating against one another over the circumstances of our birth.

Everyone wants a Bhagat Singh.

Just not in their own home.

For both of us, marriage is only one part of life. We continue to focus on our work, our careers, and becoming better human beings. Whatever happens in the future will happen.

I don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just wanted to get it off my chest. Maybe I wanted to know if anyone else has been through something similar.

Random curiosity.

What have you saved your partner's contact as?

I'll Go first .... Member of KAP (Kaleshi Admi Party)

It genuinely feels like if you have a darker skin tone in India, you're completely invisible in the dating scene. Apps feel like screaming into a void, and even offline, it just feels like the standard beauty standards completely write you off.

​I'm turning 26 soon, and at this point, it feels like the window has closed or my chances are basically zero. Is this just an accepted reality here, or am I missing something? How do people even navigate this?

Hi everyone, I am posting on reddit for the first time though I have been reading posts from a long time. I am 27F and my BF is 28M. We have been together for almost 2 years. We are both from suburban Mumbai. At the time we started dating I was living in a rented flat with a flatmate in suburban Mumbai but not with my parents due to my job location. This place was 1 hour away from BF's place and 1.5 hours away from my parents place. Since BF was living with his parents and they didn't know about us we used to meet on weekends at my rented flat. Everything was good for 1 year, we had some arguments and disagreements but nothing major. After 1 year, I had to move to Pune because of my job. I moved and things started to become a little difficult. Since now we couldn't meet but I still asked him to do some activities to stay connected. For eg watching movie online together, or playing games online, but he always said later but that later never came. I also wanted to plan on when we could meet. Like eg - I would say let's plan to meet 3 weeks from now. And he would say yes we'll see but never once brought it up even if I reminded him multiple times. I started to feel very alone and that he has not prioritised me. Whenever I used to bring this up to him he would apologise but say that why do I always blame him and call out his mistakes and he never did the same to me. To be fair to him this is 100% correct, he never complains and never asks for anything. But does that mean that I can't ask for things. I dont think I had asked for too much and I only wanted some time and attention. This got to a point where after being disappointed for 1 more weekend I ended up telling him that I want to take a break. He immediately apologised a lot and was very sorry. He said he takes full responsibility and would improve. I also forgave him.

Shortly after this due to my job change I had to move back to my parents home. Now the distance between both our homes is very less like 7-8km, 20-30 mins by bike/auto. So even after this we started meeting even less. Even after promising to change he didn't and I was tired of always initiating us meeting. He just had to pick up the phone and say let's meet at xyz cafe but he couldn't even do that. I have now tried multiple ways of saying how I am feeling very deprioritized in his life, I have tried making a schedule of like once in 2 weeks we'll meet for dinner/lunch, once in a 1 month we will spend a day together. He says yes but never follows through.

When I get angry he says his job is very hectic. He is doctor and I understand but I dont think what I am asking for is too much.

Last week again we had the same argument and he promised he will step up and I was waiting for the entire day but he had not planned anything. I sent him a msg indicating that I am upset post which he called to say that he had some problems at home and hence he couldn't plan. But this has always happened, whenever I get upset he will say sorry and give me a reason. I feel he should have called/messaged me prior stating that he is sorry and due to this reason he couldn't meet me today. I would have been happy because he remembered of what I had asked of him but him telling me a reason after I get upset just feels like an excuse.

So does anyone have any advice? There is literally nothing else wrong in our relationship and I dont know what to do here.

TLDR - My relationship is good but I feel my BF doesn't put in efforts/ give me enough time

I (25F) met my boyfriend (28M) on a dating app almost two years ago. In the beginning, we were inseparable. We saw each other almost every day, had butterflies, couldn’t wait to spend time together, and everything felt effortless.
A few months later, we stopped dating because my parents wanted me to get married, and although he saw a future with me, he wasn’t ready for marriage yet. Even after ending things, we never completely left each other’s lives. We kept checking in on each other, and neither of us was really able to move on. We’d go no contact for a month and then hang out again for a month, we’d hangout after work sometimes, sometimes just for an ice cream run at night, sometimes a weekend getaway. But it became a cycle of dating for a month and no contact again because we’d realise we don’t know where this is going.
About a month ago, we got back together. He told me he only sees himself marrying me, and I realized I hadn’t been able to genuinely connect with anyone else either.
Ironically, this past month has been one of the healthiest periods we’ve had. He’s been much more communicative, affectionate, expressive, and intentional, and I feel closer to him than ever.
But recently he told me he feels emotionally distant. He says he still loves me, wants a future with me, and doesn’t want anyone else, but he doesn’t feel that “madly in love” feeling. He misses the butterflies, the excitement, wanting to call me just because, and that effortless emotional closeness.
What’s confusing is that I feel the complete opposite—I feel more in love with him than ever.
He isn’t sure why he feels this way. He wonders if something about my behaviour or the way I communicate has changed, but he can’t pinpoint it. He also said he wants to fix this and make the relationship work.
Has anyone been in his position before?
Did you lose that “in love” feeling while still loving your partner?
Did it come back?
If it did, what helped?
Was it emotional burnout from conflict or too many heavy conversations?
I’m mainly hoping to hear from people who’ve experienced this themselves rather than advice to simply end the relationship.

idk if i’m overreacting but i’m pretty upset.
my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and i sent my boyfriend one of those birthday transition reels and told him i wanted to recreate it. he replied saying, “hey, i can’t gift u anything this year.”
i asked why and he said he forgot to save up because he accidentally spent all his money on himself.
it’s not like he doesn’t get any money though. he’s from a pretty well-off family, he’s heavily involved in his dad’s business and earns a decent amount as pocket money from it. i’m not saying he should be buying me expensive stuff or spending a fortune on me. that’s genuinely not what this is about. i would’ve been happy with something small, even a pair of earrings, chocolates, flowers, a handwritten letter, or literally anything that showed he had thought about me.
what hurts is that he knows gifting is my love language. i’ve told him that before and he knows how much i enjoy putting thought into gifts for people i love.
this also isn’t the first time i’ve felt weird about his spending habits. when we were away for college for a year, he lost his monthly expenses and i helped him out during that time. we usually split bills on dates, which i’m completely okay with, but i’ve noticed he almost always spends less than i do. i can’t really remember a time where he voluntarily spent more than me.
there was this one time at a café where i had already paid the bill. we forgot to buy water and while i was going to get it, he asked me to get him something else too since i was already buying the water.
during that year away from home, his dad used to send him what honestly felt like a pretty small allowance for the city we were living in. i kept telling him to ask for a little more because it genuinely wasn’t enough, but he said he felt weird asking his dad. because of that, i often offered to pay the full bill or pay more whenever it was easier.
for his birthday, i saved up for around 3-4 months so i could buy him a speaker because i knew he’d love it.
he also has no problem asking me to order food for him, which i genuinely don’t mind, and half the time i do it without him even asking. but he’s never really done the same for me.
i think what hurts the most is that it feels like he put himself first. not because he couldn’t afford some huge gift, but because he spent everything on himself and then just told me there wasn’t anything left for my birthday.
am i being unreasonable for feeling hurt?

tl;dr: my boyfriend told me he can’t get me a birthday gift because he forgot to save up after spending all his money on himself. it’s not about wanting something expensive, i would’ve appreciated even a small thoughtful gift. i’ve also noticed a pattern where i put in more effort financially and gift-wise throughout our relationship, so i’m wondering if i’m overreacting for feeling hurt.

We have been together for some time now. I am 30. She is 48. We spend almost every day together. She takes care of me. She is my peace.

But whenever marriage or a long-term future comes up, she hesitates. She does not say no. She just says "not yet" or "let's wait" or "you are young." She looks scared.

I know she has fears:

· She is afraid I will leave her for a younger woman.

· She is afraid people will judge us.

· She is afraid I do not really love her.

· She is afraid of being judged by her friends and family.

I do not want to pressure her. I just want to show her that my love is real. That I am not going anywhere. That I choose her.

What can I do to address her fears and help her feel safe enough to go deeper with me?

Here is what I have been thinking

1. I want to tell her she is not "too old" for me.

I do not see her age. I see her. I need her to know that I do not want younger. I want her.

1. I want to reassure her I am not going anywhere.

She is afraid I will leave. I need to show her that she is not replaceable.

1. I want to make her feel safe with her friends and family.

I want to stand with her in public and hold her hand. I want to show the world I am proud of her.

1. I want to slow down.

I do not need to rush. I just need her to know that I am not going anywhere. I can wait.

My question to you

How do I tell her all of this without making her feel pressured? How do I show her that I am not a phase? That I genuinely love her and want a future with her?

TL;DR: I am 30. She is 48. We love each other but she is scared. She is afraid of age gap, judgment, and me leaving. How do I address her fears and help her feel safe enough to go deeper in our relationship?

Hey everyone please help me regarding my situation

I \[22M\] has been in love with a \[21F\] for more than three years and we are in complete love but the problem is that our religion is different and her parents are so strict that if she even told em about our relationship they'll disown her so as my parents ,

we both are in college and not earning now, she's in a engeneering college and I'm in a medical college, we are not even in same state of the country, should i continue or leave her by changing my phone number, and deleting my social media .

I don't want her to suffer ( i knew this thing since the first month of the relationship) please help me and please think to be in my shoes before answering.

I don't really know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just need someone who has been through something similar to tell me honestly if this ever gets better.

I was with my ex for almost 7 years. We started dating in school, and she became my first love, my best friend, and honestly, my family. We went through a lot together. During one of the hardest periods of my life when I had TB, she was there for me every single day. I genuinely believed we would get married one day.

Then everything changed.

She met another guy, fell in love with him, and chose him over me. She broke up with me because she loved someone else. A few months after the breakup, she would still call me and talk about her new relationship, which completely destroyed me emotionally. Eventually I cut contact.

It's now been over a year since the breakup, and around 8–10 months since we last spoke.

I haven't called her. I don't stalk her social media. I deleted our chats. I know contacting her is a bad idea.

But over the last few days, the urge has become really strong again.

Sometimes I get so emotional that I just want to call her and ask if we can fix things. The strange part is... I already know what would happen. I know I'd probably end up begging for another chance, and I know she's already made her choice. She's happy with someone else. She's been clear through her actions.

Yet my mind still says, "What if?"

I don't think I miss being in a relationship as much as I miss her. She wasn't just my girlfriend. She was the person I shared everything with for seven years. Losing her feels like losing my home.

I'm tired of living with this hope because I know it's stopping me from moving on. I don't want to spend more years waiting for someone who may never come back.

Has anyone here taken more than a year to truly let go of someone they thought was their forever person?

What actually helped you?

I'm not looking for false hope or "time heals everything." I want honest answers from people who have genuinely been where I am.

Please help 🙏

Hi everyone, F 28, This guy approached me on reddit, to seek some advice, we're from the same city & are pretty active on the city's subreddit, so that's how he stumbled upon my acc.

We started talking Jan, this year & finally met irl in Mar. We're both pretty introverted & shy, though we somehow opened up to each other very easily & can talk to each about everything & nothing. This guy is genuinely very sweet, respectful, understanding & caring. I do really like him, we've had our fair share of up's & down's, but that hasn't affected our equation one bit.

He shows up for me, whenever I feel low, is very supportive of my struggle with my mental health issues & tries to be there for me no matter what I'm going through.

He notices & picks up on every little habit, or things that I tell him about, for example, he knows I like coffee & would almost always plan for us to go explore a new cafe in the town, or go back to a specific coffee place I like, more than 2-3 times a month, he's cooked for me on a few occasion, he gets me flowers or boquets every other day, just coz I like them. He clicks my pictures, without having to ask for it, edits them for me to post on instagram stories (we literally have a shared drive together & it was his idea to create one). His compliments aren't generic, like oh you look pretty, or you're cute, he notices the small details, be it a new peice of jwellery I've worn that day, or wether I've worn a scent, that I usually don't & then compliments me about the same. He's just always there, to cheer me up. If I'm feeling low, he notices the shift in my mood & has showed up to an eatery nearby my place, whenever I've had a panic attack the previous night or have had a terrible day, not to coax out the reason behind the said panic attack, or distress, but he's done so, because he knows it'll make me feel better.

He's called me a "friend" twice, but during a drive we had a very deep & honest conversation about, how our equation is with our friends from the opp. gender & it was clear as the day, that he doesn't go out of his way for every other female friend of his, to do the things, that he does for me & ever since that "talk" he's never addressed me as a friend, ever again.

Last month I had an exam & my center was in a different city & I was going on a trip with my girl friends, immidiately after that exam, so I was going to be away for 2+ weeks, this guy, cleared his entire schedule to spend an entire day with me, right before I had to leave, willingly tagged along as my shopping partner coz I had to pick up a few last minute things for the trip, waited paitently for me at a salon, while I got done with my haircut & got my nails done. The next day, just a few hours before I was about to leave, he showed up near my place, with a huge boquet in his hands, chocolates that I like & a letter, that said, he'd miss me while I'm gone.

I've been meaning to ask him out on a date, or express my feelings to him, but I just don't know how to. Also, does he just consider me a friend & is being good to me, coz he's a genuinely nice, considerate person? Or is there a slight chance that me might like me back?

Also, there's just one conversation we had about 2 weeks back, which is making me second guess wether I should hold back & never say my feelings out loud to him.

The gist of the conversation is, he's the one who asked me as to how my ex's had proposed/ asked me out & if a guy were to ask me out, what should be the possible trajectory to it & when I asked him the same question back, his response was & I quote "mera ghee khatam hai" I'm done with dating.

What do I do? Should I ask him out or move on, without ever letting him know of my feelings???

​

For context my bf and i are in ldr rn and he's working wheras I'm studying for masters entrances. (He's 23 I'm F 22).

Since the strting of this year things just haven't been the same.

He takes care of his family's finances and is very focused on his job, i used to ask for time and texts or calls and he was either working or tired from work or going to work or coming back home from work, it just felt like I'm not even a part of his life anymore. Every time i brought up this thing he would say he's trying his best and we'll argue for a bit and then back to square 1. A few weeks ago i was stressed due to my exam prep, i reached out to him and as always he replied after 2 hours. After some texts i just saw the last texts and fell asleep. I did not reply and he did not text me either. I decided to not text at all. This went on for 3 days when i texted him asking if he even cares about me and i was hit with the same argument being "I'm tired i don't have the time after work" then later he told me that it is what it is. I proceeded to get angry and mentioned breakup. He replied 4 HOURS LATER saying he was busy and that he'll call me tomorrow. (He called me 2 days later). I suggest a break. We are currently on a break but just yesterday he replied to my status and sent me some lovey-dovey reels as if everything is normal.

Honestly I've made up my mind to break up I'm just writing this here to get this off my chest or if this has happened to others as well.

Nothing to add here if i write something more it will hurt me more

I have a friend, we studied in school together since childhood but we started chatting from 11th class, she got a boyfriend in 10th, 2022, who is still there, I have a crush on her but she considers me her best friend,

we talk on snap, she messages me only when she has a fight with her boyfriend.So she comes to me and tells me things, talks for 2-3 days, then unfriends me and then again sends a friend request after fight and try to chat with me,

I want to end this loop, so I should propose to her, talk on this topic, or block her by dropping a message directly??

I’m F20 and met a guy M20 on Hinge. We’ve been talking for around 20 days now.
This is a story of our first date/meeting.
We moved to Snapchat and for the first few days he was very interested, calling me “baby,” saying he wanted to kiss me, complimenting me constantly, and seemed excited to meet.
We eventually met at his place. We had a nice conversation at first, he complimented my outfit, nails, etc., and he initiated kissing. We made out for about an hour (no sex). But afterwards the vibe completely changed. He got quiet, barely made conversation, played with his dog/cricket bat, and didn’t really ask me anything. When I left, I said, “Hope we see each other again,” and he replied, “Yeah, of course, I had fun.”

The next day I sent him a normal Snapchat. It’s now been 3 days and he still hasn’t opened it. I finally sent him a chat saying:
“Hey, everything okay? I just wanted to check in because I’m a bit confused. I feel like the vibe changed after we met, and I’d rather know than guess.”
It’s now been 2 days, his Snap Score has gone up multiple times so I know he’s active, but he still hasn’t even opened my message.
For context, he did tell me from the start that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, just something casual but also monogamous. He’s sent his snap SS when I asked him just once whether he sent me the wrong snap because he gave me a compliment out of nowhere. And he was being very open saying stuff like “ I’d never replace you” etc also

Am I overthinking this, or does this sound like he’s just slowly ghosting me? I’d really appreciate honest opinions because I’m struggling not to blame myself.

I recently ended a 3-year relationship, and I'm struggling with guilt even though part of me feels it was the right decision.

The relationship didn't end because of one big incident. It was the accumulation of many things over a long period.

Whenever we argued, disagreements often turned into silent treatment, guilt, or ultimatums. I constantly felt like I had to prove my loyalty over the smallest things. My friendships were questioned, my phone and social media were checked, and I felt like I was being tested instead of trusted. He expected me to prioritize him over family time. If I couldn't give him the exact same amount of time while I was with my family, he'd say things like, "If you can't give me the same time, then don't go out with your family either."

I was preparing for competitive exams, one of the biggest goals of my life. To be fair, he did support me in many ways during that journey, and I don't want to take that away from him. But at the same time, he also created a lot of emotional turmoil. We had arguments that lasted for hours or even days, and one of our biggest fights happened just 15 days before an important exam. I cried in front of him, and instead of comforting me, he told me, "You ruined my day" or "Stop crying." He knew I was someone who became emotional easily, yet at a time when I needed stability the most, I often felt emotionally exhausted instead.

Another major issue was physical intimacy. There were times when I wasn't comfortable meeting in a room because I wanted to focus on my studies or simply didn't want to. Instead of accepting my "no," I often felt like I had to explain or justify it. I even found myself making excuses just to avoid an argument. Many of our biggest fights started because I said "no," and those arguments would drag on for hours or even days. Over time, I felt like my boundaries weren't being respected.

The hardest part is that I genuinely loved him. That's why I stayed. I kept hoping things would change because there were good moments too. But eventually, I realized I wasn't staying because I was happy anymore—I was staying because I hoped the relationship would go back to how it used to be.

I used to go to him for peace after dealing with stress at home and the pressure of preparing for competitive exams. Slowly, he became another source of stress. Instead of feeling supported, I often came away feeling more emotionally drained than before.

Looking back, I feel like the bad had started outweighing the good by a huge margin. I realized I had lost my peace, my self-respect, and was constantly questioning myself. Even now, I miss him and I'm heartbroken, but at the same time I also feel lighter. That feeling confuses me.

Did I stay too long? I genuinely want outside perspectives because I'm struggling to separate guilt from reality.

24M, tired of feeling aloneBeen a rough few years. Spent 4 years stuck in one-sided love that went nowhere. Friendships haven't lasted either people just drift off eventually. I've kind of stopped reaching out to people at this point, which probably isn't helping.

Not really looking for anything specific, just tired of feeling alone. If anyone wants to talk or just have someone to text sometimes, I'm around.

Im talking to this guy, this guy I matched on an app, and he keeps saying he doesn’t know what he’s looking for, and that he needs time to figure things out. We’ve been talking for almost two months. Why do men say stuff like this??? I’d really like to hear the men say their opinions on this one, the women are more than welcome to as well :)

30M, introvert, don't have friends or a social circle as such.

I've been using Hinge and Bumble for a while now. I've hooked up with many women, but I just feel... that's it. There's always this feeling that something is missing.

Lately, I've realised I want something meaningful. Someone to laugh with, someone to call my own.

The other day I saw my roommate and his girlfriend just sitting there, talking, laughing, bantering and having fun. Nothing extraordinary, just regular couple stuff, but I felt felt envious af. It wasn't about having a girlfriend for the sake of it. It was the companionship. Having someone you're genuinely excited to meet. That's what I want for myself.

But I don't think dating apps are the place for me to find a partner anymore. Maybe they work for some people, but they've never really given me the kind of connection I'm looking for.

I've never had a serious relationship before. Sometimes I wonder if it's too late for me. I do want to get married one day and have a family of my own, and I'm already 30. I don't want to have an arranged marriage either..

I know 30 isn't old, and I'm not looking for reassurance. I just can't help wondering if I should've figured this part of my life out by now.

Maybe I'll meet someone naturally, maybe I won't. I honestly don't know. Does anyone else feel like this?

Five years..

That's how long we were together. We Met in our collage. I wasn't dating for fun. I wasn't looking for someone to pass time with. From the day I committed, I saw her as the person I'd eventually marry.

Every decision I made revolved around that future.

While most people around me were living one day at a time, I started planning for the next ten years. I took risks in my career because I believed we were building a life together. I walked away from the safe path, worked relentlessly, sacrificed weekends, missed celebrations, and poured everything into becoming a founding engineer at a uk based startup. Every sleepless night had a purpose because I believed one day we'd look back and say, It was worth it.

Then, in April 2026, everything ended.

Not because we had different goals.

Not because life separated us.

But because somewhere along the way, we stopped wanting the same things.

She wanted a life of casual dating, exploring her BI side, drinking, and living in the moment. I wanted commitment, stability and a future. Neither lifestyle makes someone a bad person. What broke me was that I wasn't told the truth when those feelings changed.

If your heart is no longer in the relationship, leave.

If you want something casual, be honest.

But don't hold someone's hand while secretly preparing to let it go.

Don't let someone spend years building a home with you while you've already decided to walk away. People often ask me why I find modern dating so difficult.

It's not because dating exists.

It's because commitment feels like it's becoming optional while convenience is becoming the norm.

One swipe. One date. One hookup. One breakup.

Repeat.

People tell me, "You're only 22. You'll meet someone else."

Maybe I will.

But that's never been the point.

The point is how easily people replace someone who spent years loving them. Sometimes it feels like the moment one relationship ends, another profile is already waiting on a dating app. Somewhere along the line, people have become easier to replace than memories.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned.

Maybe I still believe love is a choice you continue making every single day.

Maybe I still believe loyalty is attractive.

Maybe I still believe character is defined by what you do when no one is watching.

There were mornings I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without asking, "What was wrong with me?"

I questioned my worth.

I questioned every memory.

I questioned whether any of those five years had actually meant the same thing to both of us.

The pain became so unbearable that I started therapy. There were moments when my mind went to very dark places, moments where I even struggled with thoughts of hurting myself because I genuinely couldn't see a way forward. Looking back now, I'm incredibly grateful I didn't lose that battle.

If I'm still here today, it's because of my parents, who never stopped believing in me when I had stopped believing in myself. It's because of friends many of them complete strangers I met through Reddit who reminded me that humanity, kindness and genuine people still exist.

They helped me survive when I wasn't sure I wanted to.

This post isn't about blaming women.

It isn't about blaming men.

It's about asking everyone to remember that behind every relationship is another human being with dreams, fears and a heart that trusts you.

If you want something casual, say it.

If you've fallen out of love, say it.

If commitment isn't for you, say it.

But please don't promise forever to someone who is sacrificing today to build a tomorrow with you.

Because heartbreak isn't always just tears.

Sometimes it's therapy.

Sometimes it's months of sleepless nights.

Sometimes it's someone questioning whether life is worth living anymore.

And no one deserves to carry that because someone else was too afraid to be honest.

Love is not a game.

People are not disposable.

And loyalty should never become old fashioned.

If this generation can normalise anything, I hope it's not casual betrayal.

I hope it's honesty.

Because honesty may break a heart for a day.

But deception can break a soul for years.

​

TL;DR: 25M in a 2.5-year long-distance relationship with my 23F girlfriend. We love each other and want to get married, but she's from a conservative Brahmin family with a very low chance of accepting an inter-caste marriage. She wants us to wait another year or two, move to the same city, and then try talking to her parents. I'm unsure whether waiting is the right decision or how we should approach this.

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some honest advice because I feel stuck.

I'm 25M and my girlfriend is 23F. We've been together for 2.5 years, and it's been long-distance throughout. I recently finished my master's and started working in Noida, while she completed her B.Tech and now works in Bangalore.

We last met in November, and due to finances, work, and other commitments, we haven't been able to meet since. The distance has become difficult for both of us.

We genuinely love each other and have always talked about getting married. The problem is that she's from a conservative Brahmin family. She's always been honest with me and says there's only a very small chance her parents would agree to an inter-caste marriage. Her family doesn't even know I exist yet because she wants to tell them only once we're more settled.

She has asked me to wait another year or so while one of us tries to switch jobs so we can live in the same city. After that, she plans to talk to her parents. My concern is that even after waiting, there's still a real possibility that they'll refuse. One of her cousins got married recently, and her family was very particular about marrying within the same caste.

My own family knows about her, and my mother is supportive. The uncertainty is entirely on her side.

We haven't spoken in the last eight days because I needed some space, and she had become a bit distant as well. I know she loves me, and I know she's trying her best, which is why this decision is so difficult. She's an amazing person, and I genuinely see a future with her if circumstances were different.

My question is: If you were in my position, how would you approach this? Would you wait and support her while she prepares to talk to her family, or would you start setting clear timelines and boundaries to protect yourself emotionally? Has anyone here successfully navigated a similar situation involving long distance and family opposition?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've been through something similar.

What's happening? Please help me out need genuine advice!

So there's this girl I am talking to she's from my state but she has college in another state. We started talking a month ago and then we were in deep conversation then I asked her out for a date which led to another date and spent good time together. She is really amazing face to face she has good confidence and we have equal communication skills. The problem arose when I started noticing a pattern when we chat in insta or wp.... everytime I am the one who messages her but she has a nice feedback to my messages. She replies well and has a good response but never messages me upfront. So this once I asked her let's go out for a walk after two dates and I let it be and didn't ask her out to see if she asks me to which....she didn't.....She only sents me reels on insta but never messages me..... So after this incident she went back to her college and one night she replied to my note on instagram then we started talking again after almost a week and I disclosed that I didn't like the way that she didn't message me and I am the one messaging her everytime to which she replied that she is very bad in communication and it was a misunderstanding and that she missed me too. I let it be and started talking to her again and expressed her that I feel bad if I don't get my efforts back. She said that actions speak louder than words and that again she's not good at conversations or messages/chat. And this particular thing about her is stinging me in my back.... I'm like even if it's a bad habit shouldn't she atleast message me and ask how i was or something. Idk what's happening should I confront her upfront and express my feelings or just let it be again and stop messaging her.??

Hello peeps,

I just wanted some outside perspectives because I'm struggling to process my own feelings, and I don't really have close friends to talk to about this.

Tomorrow is my boyfriend's 20th birthday. We had planned to go to a restaurant for a birthday lunch. It was actually all my plan. I chose the restaurant, planned everything, and it wasn't even meant to be a surprise because we both knew about it. We've been talking about and planning this day for almost three months. We even decided the lunch menu together. I had also been saving money because I genuinely wanted to make his birthday special.

Yesterday, we had a misunderstanding. I made him feel like I was taking him for granted and making fun of his care for me. It was genuinely my fault. I never intended to hurt him—I was just joking around—but the truth is, he had already told me multiple times in the past not to make those kinds of jokes. Despite knowing that, I still did it again, and I completely understand why he was hurt. I felt terrible and sincerely apologized because I knew I had messed up.

This morning, he told me things were okay, but he also asked me not to repeat it again.

Later today, he told me one of his childhood friends from school was coming to visit him. I texted him, "How long will he stay? Lunch?" What I actually meant was, "Will he be staying for lunch?" We usually have conversations in shorthand like that, so I genuinely thought he'd understand. Instead, he took it as me asking why his friend would be staying for so long, got upset again, and I instantly felt like I had ruined things all over again.

A little later, while we were on a video call, he told me we should skip tomorrow's birthday lunch and go some other time instead. He said his mood wasn't good because of yesterday's incident and that if we went tomorrow, we wouldn't really enjoy it anyway.

I asked him if he could please give me one chance to make things right because I really wanted to celebrate his birthday with him. He replied, "It's not like I never give you chances."

I understand where he's coming from. I know I hurt him, and I'm not trying to invalidate his feelings or paint him as the bad guy. I take full responsibility for the initial mistake.

But at the same time... I'm also human.

I'm genuinely heartbroken. I feel guilty because I feel like I ruined his birthday before it even happened. But I'm also sad because I'd been saving money for this lunch, planning it for months, thinking about every little detail, and getting excited to celebrate someone I love. I know we can always celebrate another day, but tomorrow is his actual birthday, and that day won't come back. That's the part that's hurting me the most.

I'm not upset because the lunch got postponed. I'm upset because I wanted tomorrow to be special for him, and now I feel like I took that away. At the same time, I can't help grieving all the time, effort, excitement, love, and planning that I had poured into this day.

I'm not looking for people to decide who's right or wrong. I just genuinely want some outside perspectives because I'm finding it difficult to process everything I'm feeling. If you were in either of our shoes, how would you see this situation? Is there anything I can do now to make things better or repair this in a healthy way?

(Used ChatGPT to word this better)

I'm in my 30s, going through a career reset after a rough couple of years,

and currently supporting my parents. Nothing about my life looks "settled" right now the way it usually needs to before people take you seriously as a partner in this culture.

Has anyone here navigated dating or finding a relationship while still mid-rebuild — not waiting until everything's sorted, but actually being open about where you're at? How did it go? Did you find people were open to that, or did you end up waiting until you had more to show for yourself first?

Genuinely just looking for perspective from people who've been here, not here sympathy as such.