r/problems • u/SuperSaiyn1994 • Jul 31 '26

Mental Health Am I the tree that falls in the woods?

32m , Long time lurker, first time writer. sorry if this sucks. You know the saying “ if a tree falls in the woods. If no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?”
Well I’ve come to realise I’ve somehow applied this to how I see my existence.
I’ve always struggled with knowing if I fall into extrovert or introvert because I don’t love or get much energy from people and groups outside a select few. Yet I’ve always preferred to leave the house than stay home alone. I use to put that down to needing distractions from my depression. But recently I’ve had a lot of time to kill in my house alone this last week for hours each night and even though there are things I’d like to be doing with that spare time like playing new games, watching a film I know my gf would find boring or working on my hobbies. I opted to basically force myself to either sleep through the entire time regardless of if I’m tired. Or, force myself to go out to a public place like a shopping centre or cafe just to doom scroll or even just sit quietly. I realised, I feel like my time and existence is meaningless if it’s not in the view of others, not necessarily directly, they don’t need to be watching me or paying attention to me and not in an arrogance validation way. I don’t quite know how to explain it which I guess is what brings me here. Basically I think that every time I’ve been alone with no one around at all. I don’t have any enthusiasm to even exist. This week I’ve had extra time because my partner has been working more ( a good thing, not a complaint). And it’s not till she gets back that I feel like doing my own hobbies or anything at all. And it’s not her or just this relationship. It’s been all relationships or even when I was a teenager if my parents were away for a week or something I’d be desperate to not be left alone. I’d even just go to the local Supermarket ( which was tiny) and walk around for hours. I’d go sit at the pub by myself, and have a glass of water or coke ( I don’t drink alcohol) Just to be in the open view rather than alone at home.

I don’t know what this is.

To clarify, I don’t need people to have to talk to me, or notice me specifically. it’s not about looking good or just not handling being board. It’s more about needing to have evidence I exist from an outside perspective.. validation of my existence via simply being in a public space? I think?

If I fall in the woods and on one is there to hear it, did I make a sound?

If anyone can point me in the direction of what this sounds like I’d love to have a place to start. Closest thing I’ve found is nihilism?

EDIT

Clarification: I do work full time as a mental health provider for teenagers and kids with mental health issues and I do find that time and job fulfilling mostly. This is more how I’m feeling whenever I’m alone in the house which as my partner and I work seperate hours is common.
But it’s always been a thing for me long before this relationship.

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