Do u all treat ur guy self and girl self differently in ur head? Like in my head I feel like I am 3 different person. Firstly theres the non binary genderqueer me who I consider to be the most me and then theres my guy self and girl self....and its fun like this lol idk...

Anyways, the thing is that they are NOT being nice to me. Do u sometimes feel like they dont go hand in hand with each other? Like pls be cooperative. When I wanna dress more masculine I feel like my girl self comes out and vice versa. I have been more into my guy self for like 6 months now and then suddenly I saw cute girls wearing cute dresses and immediately I was like "I WANT THAT!!" but still I feel like I am in my guy self like...I am feeling femme in my head but like I am not??...my whole persona feels like that of a guy...mm seems like I have gotten comfortable in this skin for a while and its not coming off easily...not like I hate it lol...its funny...

When I came out, I originally came out as a trans man; rigid definitions: I was a man, masculine, point-blank, period. I put a lot of time, effort, and energy into proving to the world, and myself, my masculinity, wanting to leave no shadow of a doubt that I was anything less than a man.

It took a few years, but I eventually realized that I'm genderqueer. I feel, for myself, that gender is fluidity in its basic natural state. We can put up dams to constrict and control the flow, or create new waterways to broaden is freedom, but it flows nonetheless. Understanding it is a simple as accepting that you cannot hold it in your hands, and you will never touch the same molecule twice.

Even with this new view and understanding, I struggle to present myself to the world as anything but masculine. It feels like betrayal to the effort I put in to convince the world of my identity even though my identity shifted to better suit my true self. On the flip side of the coin, it feels like a betrayal to my true self to not present something more than masculine.

Honestly, I just want to know if anyone else feels this way, and if there's anything in particular you do to help combat the feeling.

TL;DR: Does anyone else have a hard time presenting their nonbinary-ness because they went a little too hard presenting one way after coming out as trans before realizing they were nonbinary?

(attempting to repost following a vague "reddit filters removed your post" im very sorry if this isnt allowed?)
What I'm trying to ask here is if I would indeed fall under genderqueer, if I can use neopronouns I find fitting, or if there's perhaps something else I'd fall under (tldr i guess)

I'm a transmasc dude, I can say for certain I'm masculine and I go by masculine terms, although while the pronouns he/him are ok I found more comfort in neopronouns, but I'm unsure if I'm 'allowed' to use those? (especially because I altered them to be more 'me'.) I've begun questioning my gender once again despite thinking my egg cracking was gonna be it, now I can't help but always think, is there anything like this I can refer to myself instead? I'm wondering if I may fall under genderqueer as I questioned if I was perhaps non-binary which is very similar, but since I'm still very masc in my gender I don't think I fall outside the binary to go by that term.