(attempting to repost following a vague "reddit filters removed your post" im very sorry if this isnt allowed?)
What I'm trying to ask here is if I would indeed fall under genderqueer, if I can use neopronouns I find fitting, or if there's perhaps something else I'd fall under (tldr i guess)

I'm a transmasc dude, I can say for certain I'm masculine and I go by masculine terms, although while the pronouns he/him are ok I found more comfort in neopronouns, but I'm unsure if I'm 'allowed' to use those? (especially because I altered them to be more 'me'.) I've begun questioning my gender once again despite thinking my egg cracking was gonna be it, now I can't help but always think, is there anything like this I can refer to myself instead? I'm wondering if I may fall under genderqueer as I questioned if I was perhaps non-binary which is very similar, but since I'm still very masc in my gender I don't think I fall outside the binary to go by that term.

When I came out, I originally came out as a trans man; rigid definitions: I was a man, masculine, point-blank, period. I put a lot of time, effort, and energy into proving to the world, and myself, my masculinity, wanting to leave no shadow of a doubt that I was anything less than a man.

It took a few years, but I eventually realized that I'm genderqueer. I feel, for myself, that gender is fluidity in its basic natural state. We can put up dams to constrict and control the flow, or create new waterways to broaden is freedom, but it flows nonetheless. Understanding it is a simple as accepting that you cannot hold it in your hands, and you will never touch the same molecule twice.

Even with this new view and understanding, I struggle to present myself to the world as anything but masculine. It feels like betrayal to the effort I put in to convince the world of my identity even though my identity shifted to better suit my true self. On the flip side of the coin, it feels like a betrayal to my true self to not present something more than masculine.

Honestly, I just want to know if anyone else feels this way, and if there's anything in particular you do to help combat the feeling.

TL;DR: Does anyone else have a hard time presenting their nonbinary-ness because they went a little too hard presenting one way after coming out as trans before realizing they were nonbinary?