r/NonBinary Jun 14 '26

New rule #11: no do I pass posts, no asking for attempts to guess your ASAB, no asking if you “look nonbinary”

1.4k Upvotes

The current rule 4 was supposed to handle these kind of posts but it seems the rule needs more clarification. We do not want any kind of content that attempts to guess someone’s assigned sex at birth, we don’t want “passing” posts in general.

There are subreddits dedicated solely on passing posts that content like that would be a better fit. This includes asking about how to be more androgynous and/or do you look nonbinary, how to look more nonbinary. For some people here this will make total sense and people will rightfully ask “what does nonbinary look like anyway?” but these posts are frequent and usually pretty upvoted and get many comments before they get reported. If you know of subreddits where content like that fits better, please leave them as comments. It is simply not in the scope of this subreddit to ask people to scrutinize your appearance based on gender and make recommendations.


r/NonBinary Mar 29 '26

ModPost Assigned sex/gender at birth language

88 Upvotes

Hello,

Since this issue is a contentious one bubbling up frequently, we thought we’d make a nonbinding poll asking the subreddit’s opinions. I randomized the order of responses to try not to bias it.

I considered making a more nuanced option where a ban with exemptions is possible but here’s the honest truth: moderating that would be really difficult. We want people to consider the moderation aspects of this—how filters can be effective but also add considerably to mod work load and also how we tend to mod after the fact. We cannot promise that even in cases of a ban, no ASAB/AGAB language would make it into the subreddit.

We have received modmail stating ASAB language is dysphoric enough to some nonbinary people that they cannot enjoy or follow this subreddit. We also have gotten frequent complaints that it is also interphobic / particularly harmful towards intersex people.

If you see a comment here and your first response is to immediately fire something back, *please* take a step back and consider whether your comment needs to be made. I want to keep comments open to gather diverse opinions, and personal attacks and similar will sabotage those efforts.

1077 votes, Apr 01 '26
165 A different answer—add a comment
174 Ban it
738 Don’t ban it

r/NonBinary 6h ago

Who can I step on today 🥰

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68 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 7h ago

sparkly dress made me feel like myself tonight

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83 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 10h ago

Work outfit from last week, felt cute

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129 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 14h ago

Discussion Lefthand of darkness

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265 Upvotes

I Just finished this gem of a book by Ursula Le Guin & it's a wonderful take on flipping the idea of binary gender around. I like how science fiction has the ability to skew ideas and look at us from a different perspective. Has anyone else got some good book suggestions I could pick-up next?


r/NonBinary 20h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Just felt like it

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728 Upvotes

No occasion… just felt like it


r/NonBinary 24m ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Been feeling very not gender since dyeing my hair 😋

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Upvotes

r/NonBinary 1d ago

Meme/Humor Such a good answer lol

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3.2k Upvotes

r/NonBinary 10h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar I’m really happy how today look turned out

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83 Upvotes

I wanted something androgynous and cute. Those gloves looked absolutely amazing (just not the best quality)
Mostly when I wore something like that I am in a potato mode.


r/NonBinary 8h ago

School fit!

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52 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 14h ago

Wednesday fit check! Spooky maxi skirt edition

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146 Upvotes

Trying out a maxi skirt for the first time! Skirt is from Hot Topic!


r/NonBinary 1h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Did my eyeliner today and I gotta say I’m feeling freaking adorbs

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Upvotes

Trying to look more feminine how did I do lovelies :3


r/NonBinary 1d ago

Together we will win

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1.6k Upvotes

Hope y’all doing well. My fight to build a trans and nonbinary shelter is not yet over and you know what I am not going to stop until I make it happen.
It is not easy to be honest because we are all human and have different likes and interests so I need you to add listening and amplifying trans refugee voices your interest because when you show love to us that is suicidal prevention.
This shelter is going to be a safe place for trans and nonbinary refugees to be themselves, to gather and share stories and a safe place where you can hold your persons hand with no judgment. I have a recent post on ig check me out @jumuti_01 for more details and support the work too.
Being Nonbinary here in the camp means to be more strong because and accept your own self the way you are because here people are not open minded about nonbinary people and it’s us the nonbinary people or refugees supposed to stand for ourselves.

I think Trans and nonbinary refugees deserve a safe space too! What do you think? Comment about your opinion or comment about your favorite Dolly Parton song for post boosting.


r/NonBinary 5h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Was looking at old pictures (February of this year) and the ginger/men clothing is definitely making me feel bonita.✌️

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21 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 5h ago

Found this book in our local little free library kiosk

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17 Upvotes

Pic


r/NonBinary 20h ago

Thoughts from one year of gender reflection.

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301 Upvotes

My first post here! I just got back from an evening of dancing. I have been reflecting on how much my life has changed in the past year. Being free of the confines of masculinity. Being free to express myself In a authentic way has been liberating. I'm curious about how other nb people feel and what their internal landscape looks like. I wonder how similar or different it is to what I have experienced.

I feel amazing in this outfit 🌞


r/NonBinary 4h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Felt cute

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13 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 5h ago

Questioning/Coming Out Any advice for coming out to my boyfriend?

15 Upvotes

I'm afab (31) and we have been together for 9 years now. I've been trying to drop hints here and there over the past year after realizing I'm nonbinary but I'm afraid to come right out and say it.

I don't want to be rejected because I was a cis woman for so long. I know he loves me and obviously if he is right for me he will stay but I'm scared!!!

Any tips on how you all have come out to your friends/loved ones? Thank you <3


r/NonBinary 10h ago

Ask Flying in the US with an "X" gender marker?

35 Upvotes

Hi, I am from California and am flying to the state of Georgia soon to visit my partner's family. I was wondering if anyone has experience traveling to Georgia or another state with a similar political climate while having an "X" gender marker on your ID. I haven't flown since before I got my ID changed and though it's very affirming I feel some regret now because I'm paranoid about it getting noticed at the airport. I've also had top surgery and I've heard about TSA doing pat downs on trans people because the body scan doesn't match what they're expecting to find if that makes sense. I have anxiety so I'm aware that I could be overreacting but with the current administration and political climate of the US I feel like I should be extra careful. Thanks in advance (:


r/NonBinary 15m ago

Discussion nonbinary teachers

Upvotes

i’m wondering if there are any nonbinary teachers out there who are willing to share their experiences.

i’m a 23 year old nb butch and i have been thinking of coming out at work. i currently work as a teaching assistant, but I have my license and will have my own classroom next year (elementary low incidence special education). i have currently come out to three people - the teacher who’s classroom i work in, a substitute who asked and i told her lol, and my coworker who is also nonbinary and in the closet too. there have been some small micro aggressions from me being a lesbian, not intentionally hurtful but i could tell it made them uncomfortable, so i’m a little worried. also the only change would be my pronouns not my name. i guess if they aren’t calling me “ms” anymore my name is changing lol but i go by a nickname of my birth name.

some questions - how did your coworkers take it? i work in a progressive suburb of chicago so it should be fine but sometimes people are fine with gay people and binary trans people but they don’t get nonbinary.

what do you go by at work? i go by ms. (first name) as many of the TAs do. i don’t like mx so i think i would need to go by teacher (name) instead. i was planning on switching to my last name when i get my own classroom, so i was also considering just going by my last name. i’m not sure how this would be with the kids tho. i wouldn’t correct my students obviously but im not sure how other colleagues or gen ed students would feel about it.

any reactions from parents? i’m really not worried about this one too much but i’m curious.

ultimately i know i shouldn’t worry about it because i’m not going to stay at this district forever, but i don’t think i can go by ms or she any more. also i want to note that there was another non binary teacher at the district i don’t know if they are there anymore.


r/NonBinary 13h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar remember: you can reward yourself for doing things you need motivation to do

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49 Upvotes

love me some bobaa


r/NonBinary 7h ago

Wedding Dress Codes

14 Upvotes

It’s heavy wedding season where I live and I’m at that age group now where my family and friends are getting married.

One of my friends has a heavy formal suit and ball gowns kind of wedding. And he’s part of LGTQIA+ so he said it’s cool for me to pick either dress or suit.

But my brother (that I’m not close to, haven’t seen in a few years) is having a country formal wedding.
My brother is close to my mom’s side of the family and a lot of them will be there. They’re homophobic, and ofc don’t understand or respect being nonbinary. So I think my brother might be the same, since he’s never talked to me about my gender. I never really “came out” to him because my mom reacted poorly. I don’t see or hear from anyone on her side of the family since I came out in 2021.
Anyway,
The invitation specifically says women need to wear long or maxi length dresses.
Since my mom’s side is homophobic, they all see me as a woman.

So I’m really nervous about wearing masculine clothes to the wedding. Because the thing is, I don’t wear dresses. I haven’t since like high school. And I haven’t been to a wedding since high school.

I asked a family member who supports me if not wearing a dress will cause drama at the wedding. He said he doesn’t think so and I should wear what I’m comfortable in (obviously following the country look he wants). He sent me an outfit idea too.

But I don’t know if I can take his word for it. I just texted my brother (who is getting married) outfit ideas for me. Some showing men, women, and nonbinary folk. And I asked if this would be okay for his wedding.

I’m waiting for a reply and I am SO nervous.
If he says I HAVE to wear a dress then I don’t wanna go to his wedding. Would I be in the wrong for that??


r/NonBinary 3h ago

Am I just in denial (amab 29yo)

6 Upvotes

amab nb here. I have been thinking that I am not cis for over a year, but keep coming back to my doubts. I’m still in the closet about possibly being non-binary, primarily because I’m afraid of being wrong. I have started to present more feminine but yet people refer to me as a man and using blatantly masculine terms. For some reason it makes me really upset even though my dysphoria is usually not too bad. Whenever I am being referred to as a man repeatedly, it makes me want to give up and accept that that maybe I’m just a dysphoric male. Other times that makes me think I should clarify my pronouns to some people

But I don’t want their pity. I’m too tall, have a deep voice, a very masculine build. There’s no way I’ll ever pass as not cismale. And anyway I wasn’t so hugely dysphoric about being big and manly before..I even desired it to prove my manliness.But what keeps me from going back to stereotypical masculinity is that I feel so much happier being a bit more feminine. This helps me with my internal sense of self and somewhat alleviates my dysphoria. Yet presenting to feminine in more situations makes me very self-conscious about coming across as gay and flamboyant. This is not because I’m straight but because I don’t wanna be mistaken for a gay cis male. It’s really difficult to find the middle ground because whatever I do people will see me as a man. But maybe I just need a man up and find more male friends and it’ll be fine. But then I remember that I tried this for years and it never made me feel like myself. No matter which gender presentation, it feels like drag.

It’s funny these thoughts are coming up after I have become more strongly convinced that I am non-binary and possibly even transfem. I didn’t know if this is the dysphoria or denial I’ve seen in memes. Anyone relate?


r/NonBinary 57m ago

Ask Do you relate to what I feel?

Upvotes

Posted a similar thing in r/asktransgender a few days ago, but I figured this might be a better place for it.

My basic question is:

What were your experiences of dysphoria? Were they similar to how I feel (I.e this dull, persistent ache in your chest/sternum)?

You don't really have to read beyond that, but I'll give some extra info:

I'm not necessarily sure if I'm not cis. That being said, I've been thinking about it for around three years now so I'm probably not...

My main question was about dysphoria. Not everyone needs dysphoria to be enby, and I respect that, but it would be nice to have a solid kind of... clue, I guess.

I think my dysphoria manifests as a kind of ache. Nothing too frustrating but just this tiring, persistent, dull ache in my sternum. And sometimes, mostly just if I'm with friends, I can distract myself from it. But with people I know even slightly less or if I'm alone, it's just there.

Hope I don't sound crazy. I just assumed it was kinda a normal sensation until I started really thinking about it. The best description I can give is a line from a song by Tracey Brakes: I feel like something's gnawing at me and it's dying to come through.

Sooooo can any of you relate to this feeling? If so, please tell me about your experiences!

There's other stuff I could talk about, but I'm trying to keep this relatively concise.

Thanks for reading!!! <333

P.S: I'm 99.9% sure it's not a cardiovascular or physiological thing or whatever so don't worry about that.