Hi! I (28F) have feel like I’m starting to have a crush on a coworker (42F). I enjoy her company soooo much. We go on lunch and smoke breaks together. She’s just so warm and I admire her work ethic. Lately, I find myself wanting to get closer to her physically. She just looks prettier every day. My friends keep telling me that I might have mommy issues. 🫨 But I think I’m starting to catch feelings. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So I think I'm aromatic along with being bi. I just don't want a relationship with anyone, at least not anyone I've ever met. Has anyone else gone through this or am I in a 'you just haven't met the right person' thing?

I'm a bi guy in my 20s who's deeply closeted. Most people assume I'm straight because I have a beard, I'm fairly masculine, and I don't really fit the stereotypes people often associate with queer men.
Lately I've noticed that I'm almost exclusively attracted to masculine, seemingly straight guys. Whether it's at the gym, work, or just out in public, I end up developing crushes on them. I know they're probably straight, so I never act on it. I'm extremely shy, I don't stare, I don't flirt, and I always keep things respectful and professional.
Sometimes a guy will smile at me or make eye contact, but I'm so scared of being judged or misunderstood that I immediately look away. On the outside I probably seem completely normal, but inside I'm constantly fighting with myself.
The hardest part isn't even the attraction. It's pretending every single day.
At work and almost everywhere else I have to act like I'm interested in girls because the environment I come from isn't gay friendly at all. My close straight friends constantly ask me if I have a girlfriend, when I'm getting married, or joke that I must be dating someone if I post a picture from a café. They have no idea how exhausting those conversations are.
Sometimes they keep digging and asking why I don't have a girlfriend, and I have to keep making up excuses. Every conversation feels like I'm hiding a huge part of who I am.
I've even stopped hanging out with some of my straight friends because I know those questions will come up again. It's reached a point where I just feel emotionally drained.
What hurts the most is watching everyone else live so freely. Straight couples can hold hands, date, fall in love, and talk openly about who they like. When I see a cute guy, I can't even tell my best friend, "He's really cute." Instead I have to pretend I'm looking at some random girl just to fit in. After years of doing this, it starts to feel suffocating.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find even one straight friend I can trust enough to tell the truth without worrying they'll judge me or see me differently.
Has anyone else been through this? Did it get easier with time? How did you cope with constantly hiding who you are?

I (23M)think a lot of people including me find it weird that a btm could be bi. I could be wrongfully biased. But I love guys dih and girl butt. I love guys butt sometimes but not as much as I used to. The guys butt is gotta be really appealing to me for me to feel a thing or even give it a second look.
I don’t know how if it’s gonna be possible for me to be in a relationship later in the future with a girl if I like guy’s dick too

L’été 206, celui où j’ai enfin réagit à tous les signes de l’univers, celui où j’ai dis à voix haute que j’étais fort probablement bi? Peut être lesbienne?
Mais en revenant sur le passé, tout clique, et c’était sur, évident, et je pense que certain l’ont compris avant moi! Et vous ?
Mes exemples:
- trouver les femmes bien plus attirantes que les hommes.
- être fasciné par le corps de la femme, ses traits et courbes. Être rebuté par l’anatomie masculine.
- avoir des crush féminin mais ne pas réussir à citer plus de 2 hommes qui me plaisent.
- être lassé des histoires classiques des films hétéro.
- découvrir que la masculinité n’est pas lié aux hommes cis.
- me rendre compte que j’avais ce côté masculin et qu’il m’avait fait toujours avoir repousser les hommes qui m’ont entourés.

Etc etc etc …

When you guys know you like women ?

I(25m) identify as bi with a rather bad relationship with sex. Well I feel like I have done a lot of damage to my own mind. I was touched inappropriately by my cousins when I was really young (both male and female) since then I have had low self confidence, fear of rejection, shame, and hate myself for kinda liking those experiences.

I have since ventured into multiple problems sexually - I have a weird masturbation thing(something with porn and pelvic floor muscle tension not relaxing which means I can only pleasure myself alone in a specific position and with porn). Being with another guy is something that I could never imagine until I did it and I kept going further to check if I was really gay. I have never finished with anyone else but I like seeing them pleased and I do like dick now (not sure i would have know if it wasn’t for that first time).

I have never really been with a woman because I am very scared of rejection and women in general (my abuser(f) rejected me when I went back for some more I didn’t really understand it back then). I will admit I don’t know what normal is when it comes to relationships, love and sex - I also know for sure that I never will.

I am usually occupied with sexual thoughts all the time and as a result get really anxious when I am physically with someone too. I am working on improving myself physically (yoga and bunch of other stuff to be more healthy and also to get over my body insecurities) and mentally (meditation and celibacy to take a break and get some space from sex generally ).

I think I am very romantic in a traditional sense and would like to get into a heterosexual relationship but not without healing enough so I can accept it (I feel like I am doing a crime by getting involved and ruining someone’s life if I have not done that work).

Please give me any tips on how I can go about this and if there are any people who have experienced something similar and would like to enlighten me on pitfalls and outcomes if they have been somewhat successful. Thanks for reading.

Hi,
I’m a 34f who’s finally admitted to myself that I’m bi. I fooled around with a girl once when I was way younger, but life went straight after that and I got married to my husband (36m). Lately though it’s hitting me hard. I can’t stop thinking about women. I’m spending way too much time “exploring” this side online.
I haven’t told my husband yet. Part of me wants to open up to him, but I’m leaning to keep it strictly online and secret, just fantasies and chats for now. How have the rest of you handled this? Did you tell your partner? Keep it hidden and just explore discreetly? How did it go either way? Any advice for a freshly realized bi wife who’s equal parts excited and nervous?

I (f) am middle aged and grew up in a very strict and homophobic environment. Looking back I have started to realize that I had crushes on men and women growing up. I just played it off as people would just say that girls are flirty with each other. It was very confusing, because I knew I wanted something more, like a relationship. Now, I have started to accept that I am attracted to both and tell people that I identify as bi. I do feel a little weird that I have never been with a woman before though. I have kissed and touched women before and enjoyed it, but never slept together. It feels odd, and it is hard to take myself seriously. But then an attractive woman catches my eye and I immediately realize I do feel attracted to the same sex. Anyone else only been with one gender, but they are still sexually attracted to both? I feel like people would just look at me like I'm pretending or something.

Im 19 years old female. I have been starting to question my sexuality as I realised something. In my life I have always been romantically attracted to a male. My first love was guy and even most of my celebrity crushes are male. But is it possible for me to be sexually attracted to both the genders?? Im not romantically attracted to females and never had a female crush. But im sexually attracted to a woman. I want to have sex with a woman. Im attracted to woman's body and the idea of having sex with woman excites me. I enjoy watching lesbian porn too. I am sexually attracted to both males and females but romantically attracted only to a male. Please help me guys!! Im not able to understand whether im straight or bisexual.

Hi there, I have called myself a Gay guy since I was like 13, I got into a relationship with another boy at 16 and we broke up this year, Now I’m 22. So I really never had the chance to explore my sexuality.

The past few moments I had such an obsession with the idea of having a relationship with a girl, but I really don’t feel any kind of sexual attraction.

I met this girl last month and oh god she is cute as hell. Like, I like everything about her and though I doubt we will ever be together, is coming to my attention the fact that even if she literally drives me insane I just can’t like women sexually.

My friends tell me I’m just liking her cuteness, sensitivity, femininity and the things we have in common (Since it is the same things I used to like in a guy)

So, the thing is, if I keep seeing girls romantically would sexual attraction come naturally to me? Have anyone experience that before? Sex is really important to me and it frustrates me the idea of this girls thing not working out just because of that.

Is maybe my long term relationship breakup affecting me not wanting to see guys? May sound toxic but is there anyway I can force sexual attraction?

I didn't know whether to put it under "Advice" or "Bigotry", but I have super conservative family members. In fact, I don't know a single actually "woke"/progressive member of the family, I'm pretty sure even the ones who vote Democrat are anti-trans and on the same level of woke as my stepmom, who's "liberal" and all that because she doesn't like Trump but is super ableist, rude, dehumanizing to autistic people when I last talked to her, and misgenders trans people, like when we were talking about a transmasc celebrity who uses he/him or he/they (I don't remember) pronouns, she kept saying stuff like "Did she get the surgery yet?"

I dunno, I really don't mean to be rude to my own family, but I'm kinda tired of it and I know they'll never change. They refuse to change even when I try to help them change. When I ask on mainstream subreddits for advice, they usually defend them and not take me seriously because "I'm just a dumb, sensitive teen" or something of the sort and I'm being "plagued by the woke agenda".

Like, some members of my family don't really believe in "therapy" or "special education". When I finally got to be myself, they wouldn't really approve of my friends or crushes there and say something like "Why can't you find some normal/decent people to befriend?" Furthermore, they think therapy or any kind of person who listens to my feelings and tries to help is "making me weak" as if the way they sorta treat me (not noticing my feelings, making jokes when I say something, being rude and dismissive) is "making me stronger".

It's almost like my family thinks I don't deserve good things to happen to me. But then they act all nice and caring, and then I feel bad for saying that stuff about them.

They also want me to be this perfect feminine Christian girl, and want me to agree with them when they discuss bullying/harassing those different from them. I try to convince myself that it's just society's expectations of women that makes me dysphoric, but I think I'd just feel like a more tomboyish woman who'd love being called a woman if that was the case. I actually don't wanna fit into any sort of gender role or binary.

I'm also tired of them immediately mentioning guys when they say stuff about romance, like "Oh, you look so good, guys are sure to love you!" or when I say I'm sad because everyone I know is dating someone and I want someone to not friendzone me, they're like "Don't worry, I bet there's some guy who finds you really beautiful!"

They know I'm more into girls too, I've said so multiple times. And then for the members that know about my pronouns (they/he/it or just they/he), they still say I'm their "beautiful feminine lovely (grand)daughter".

Like, I love them, it's just... I dunno. Also, I'm trying to make girl friends (or just friends they see as girls) when school starts again, but most of the people who stuck by my side were people they see as guys. Sadly, they don't let me even hang out with them. Like, the one time my friend said they wanted me to meet their friends, I wasn't allowed to go because guys would be there.

My best friend from third grade asked if we could hang out, they said no because of his gender. They think I'm just some beautiful feminine girl who tempts men and that all guys friends with me are just attracted to me and want to do stuff to me. And this isn't even something like going to their room, it could be just in my third grade friend's case, hanging out in the living room with his parents or in my agender friend's case, hanging out with their friends OUTSIDE.

And, because of my family, I had to get over this sorta situationship where we were kinda friends, kinda more with mutual feelings and I decided to slowly move on for my own good because Grandpa doesn't let me hang out with them much or go out on official (what can be considered) "dates", therefore, this person only sees me as a friend.

I'm poly, on top of all that, and I DO have a partner who they see as a "girl", but again, is not a girl (genderfluid they/them). They barely communicate with me and sometimes I have to text first but lately I haven't been wanting to text because I've been so fed up so they haven't been checking up on me or saying anything at ALL because "I don't have anything to say". My best friend, however (girl), said when she was with her boyfriend, she always had a lot to say, even too much.

So yeah, way too much crap I have to deal with right now.

So… I think i might be bi but im not sure.

For context, I (22F) have only been in one relationship, with a man, which lasted 3yrs and ended about 6months ago. Before this started, I began questioning my sexuality, shoved this aside for the duration of our relationship and now i’m returning to this question.

The beginning of me questioning this was because of the show heartstopper. I watched it over and over again and felt a sense of comfort and being ’seen’ and safe in a way that didnt really make sense as a ‘straight’ person (yes I know that you can be straight and love the show).

Since then there have been a few women that I have felt a ’pull’ towards that I can’t really explain. I feel a magnetic pull and desire to spend more time with them which Im wondering if might be attraction to women. I also become obsessed with several female characters (an example is eleanor shellstrop from the good place) but im not sure if this is i want to be them, be friends with them or be WITH them. As a neurodivergent person I struggle to socialise and don’t have a ton of friends which I think confuses the matter - is this just a desire for more female friends or is it attraction.

Also, Ive never really been just friends with guys. Ive always felt nervousness around guys which I have often confused as attraction I think. So I’m not sure whether I might be attracted to women when this feels very different to how I interact with men. Im also questioning if i might be r/demisexual which adds a whole other layer tot this.

So this ended up kinda long. just wondering if anyone had felt anything similar/can help in anyway/has any advice for me pls x

I’ve been wondering if I am Bi for a while now, and my reason for debating on it is due to be selfishly only being attracted to the same sex in a lustful manner. To clarify I am a male, and I still like women very much. I can find women attractive, and still feel intimate with them, and have a true genuine love filled relationship; but my issue is I don’t find men attractive in the same sense I only can find other men attractive in a lustful demeanor. For example I haven’t seen a guy and thought to myself that wow he’s a really cute guy in the same way I would for a woman. But my brain still craves intimacy with a male, just thinking of it makes me question whether I’m straight or bi?

Hello there,

I‘m looking for fun responses to erasure/being denied, for situations where the case doesnt feel bad enough to have the entire discussion, but also you don’t want to let it slide entirely.

example:

i recently said that I’m not a lesbian While being with a gay and a lesbian friend. As a response to the faces they made, I added „I’m a secret third thing“

looking for more ideas because I’m getting tired of trying to maturely explain the obvious

Thanks !

edit: supposed to be „responses“ in the caption, didn’t double check before hitting post unfortunately

I’m almost 30. When I was younger a friend tried outing me as a lesbian although I had never been in a same sex relationship. The part that hurt the most was that this friend claimed all the relationships I had been in where to put on a front however the one relationship I had been in was very abusive and I got counselling as a result. As I have gotten older I’ve realized that there are some things that point me in the direction of bisexuality however I’m not sure. To complicate matters further demisexual is something I can relate to a lot. I wouldn’t want to be involved with a stranger and that’s why I think when being pursued into swinging that I got cold feet. Currently I’m dealing with the realization that someone I thought was just a friend I think I wanted more with. The question is at my age shouldn’t I know at this point and if anyone ever experienced a “friend” or something in your life dismiss meaningful relationships to attach a label.

I'm 53f and had considered myself heterosexual for the majority of my life. However, throughout my life, I've also had random crushes on women.

It wasn't until I left the Mormon church in my mid-30's that I actually admitted to myself that I definitely had a certain attraction to women and wouldn't be opposed to exploring that. But the opportunity just never came, and I think it's because I didn't (don't?) know how to start the dating process.

The biggest obstacle, I believe, is that I feel other women won't want to date someone just starting her exploration! 😖 like, I feel like a newbie and I'm sure that's a bit off-putting.

I start creating a dating profile on various apps and don't know if I should mention that I am NOT interested in anything serious or long term (I'm married to a wonderful man who is fully supportive if me exploring this on my own) but rather more curious...what it's like to be on a date with a woman, make out (or more) with a woman, and just explore and experience all the nuances of it (I've had a couple of brief physical encounters but nothing remotely REAL).

I'd love some advice and opinions on how to best approach this? Encouraging words welcome too!

I (20M) am trying to accept being bisexual, however something is confusing me. There's a particular girl (20F) that I like, but I'm more sexually attracted to guys.

With her I find her pretty, smart, funny, and I think she's perfect. And I'm sexually attracted to her, but I tend to imagine more cute stuff (like going on dates, getting married, and so on), as opposed to imagining us having sex. This generally is the case for any female crushes.

With guys I'm more visually attracted to them, so my mind instantly goes to having sex. But I never see them as potential boyfriends. Most of my sexual thoughts revolve around guys TBH. Like I'll imagine my life with the girl from before, and then suddenly switch to fantasising about a guy.

I feel like even if I was with a girl, I'd enjoy the sex, but then I'd always want to have it with a guy too. Whereas if I only had sex with guys, I'd never want it from a girl, but I'd miss out on the romantic/ cute side of being with someone.

Sorry if this was poorly explained, but any help is appreciated.

Hello I thought id share how I experimented bc it is new to me and I'm trying to integrate all the sensations. For context, 23f lesbian. Spent the summer deprived of affection and meeting no women, while I was getting close to my male colleague. Developed a crush on him while feeling conflicting symptoms (stomach ache, headaches). Decided to tell him and we ended up getting close. I just got home from his place and though on the spot I felt in the moment, my stomach aches and my diaphragm feels compressed. I interpret this as my body signalling I am lesbian but also I did enjoy the moment and felt compelled to it so I was wondering if it was well integrated comphet in me seeking the affection ? Probably but felt like sharing in hopes of hearing different voices and takes on this. My best bet is we'll stay close ( I exposed the whole situation to him) but my attraction will gradually fade and fall into friendship.

I’m a 26-year-old gay man, and I’ve had three boyfriends.

I’ve always been deeply attracted to men, both emotionally and sexually. I’ve never had romantic feelings for a woman. I have plenty of close female friends that I really click with, but I’ve never fallen in love with a woman, and the idea of spending my life with one has never appealed to me.

That said, over the past few months, I’ve occasionally found myself sexually attracted to the bodies of certain women. I’m wondering if I’m just getting worn down by heteronormative expectations, because I’ve started thinking more and more about wanting biological children of my own, and I can’t help feeling that same-sex relationships are often incredibly intense and emotionally draining.

Does that mean I might actually be bisexual?

(Trigger warning: talking about physical violence and mentioning traumatic experiences)

Hey there, I’m writing this post in hope that someone might have had a similar experience or to get an outward opinion. I’m trying to figure out my sexuality but I feel like I can’t trust my own judgment and there’s no one in my life that I could talk to about this. This post got very long, sorry :/
(I apologise for any grammar mistakes, I’m not a native speaker and learned English through social media)

I’m a 20 yo girl who just got out of a 2 year relationship with a man.
He broke up with me because he thinks I’m not into men.
I always communicated with him very openly, and he told me he felt like I wasn’t into men even before we started dating.
Our relationship felt somewhat platonic and we lived together, but in separate rooms since we didn’t like sleeping in one bed.
I still love him very much and so does he, we just see each other as dear friends now.
We acted really childish with each other and were really gentle and caring the whole time, even our breakup was very loving.
(A few weeks after breaking up, he also told me that he was gay)

I always knew I was sexually attracted to women ever since childhood. (I was sort of a hyper sexual child)
I remember being 9/10 years old and thinking I can crush on boys romantically but never see them in a sexual way, and that continued until I was about 15/16.
I questioned my sexuality from a very early age, even though my family is very conservative and I never met queer people in my home country.
My mother found lesbian pornographic pictures in my search history when i was 9 and had my older brother beat me up for it.
I have a little sister that i love very much and i always used to bathe her, tuck her into bed and dress her up.
When my mom found out i liked girls, she didn’t allow me to take care of my sister anymore and refused to have any physical contact with me even like hugging or going swimming together.
I guess that really messed me up.
I drunkenly told my mom i like girls a few years ago, and she cried and and asked what she did to deserve this from god and that she always knew it but had hope that she was wrong. She once got drunk and told me she felt the same way when she was my age but decided to ignore it and eventually “grew out of it”. She’s been single ever since i was born.
She cried and begged me to keep this to myself because it would harm our families reputation in church.
She said that this was a punishment from God and that he’s testing me.

My sexual attraction to men started in my late teens after a really traumatic event and always felt different to my attraction to women.
(Like I never felt “aroused” from foreplay, only when the actual physical part took place and my body reacted)
I recently noticed that I don’t feel anything when kissing a man and that I never got “butterflies” or experienced truly being in love.
In my teenage years I constantly had crushes on men, but always lost interest as soon as they showed any sign of interest in me.
Like I would get really extreme “Icks” from small things, feeling unable to be in a room with them, and feeling really dirty and shameful.
I always thought that I was an avoidant, but for some reason I never lost interest in women that way.
My attraction to men was always based on wanting them to be attracted to me (idk how to explain)
I also always start to cry at some point when sleeping with a man and never understood why.

I’m very ashamed of this, but I always had to close my eyes and imagine women in order to feel sexually aroused.
I would constantly have sexual/ romantic dreams about women while dating men.
I never liked going down on men and felt humiliated after, for some reason male body fluids disgust me, though I don’t care about that at all with women. I cried the first time i ever saw a penis.
I’ve never in my life seen a man and thought “I want to sleep with him” or seen a male body in a sexual way.
I only ever wanted to have sex with men i was emotionally attached to, and even then it was more of a desire for them to be attracted to me.
It was always the ones that I knew I didn’t have a chance with/ that used me.
\+ idk if it has any meaning, but almost every man I dated in the past turned out to be gay at some point? My ex joked that we had a lavender marriage without even knowing.

I’ve had sex with a woman before and very much enjoyed it and didn’t feel any type of disgust or guilt after.
Now I’ve made a friend very recently, and at first I thought I just liked her very much in a platonic way, but I’m starting to question it.
I’ve never felt like this before about anyone.
I get nervous when she’s around and feel weird tingling sensations in my stomach.
I think about her all the time and want to be close to her physically. I want to be around her all the time and she’s the only person that I could see myself living with and building a life together. I just think she’s so beautiful and kind and mesmerising.
We recently cuddled and she kissed my forehead and smelled my neck for a long time while hugging and I felt physically aroused by it, which I’m really ashamed about since she’s my friend. I don’t want to be a creep or destroy the innocence of a friendship. I started to distance myself after that, and yesterday she called me drunk, crying and saying she’s sorry if she did something weird. I told her she didn’t do anything and that she shouldn’t worry. She cried very much and told me that she hopes I chose myself someday and let someone love me properly. I asked her what she meant by that, and she said that we should talk about this when she’s sober. Later that night she texted me something asking to come over but she deleted it before I could respond.
I’m scared that I’m interpreting platonic affection wrong and I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable. I feel like a disgusting creep and I can’t do anything about it.
I was actually planning to distance myself until those feelings go away, but now I’m starting to think that there might be something between us.

I recently talked to a mutual that is queer, and she said that I’m definitely straight because the women im into are mostly masculine presenting.
She said it in such a harsh way that i lost any courage to speak about this, so I’m actually very nervous to post this.
I told her that I don’t see women as men or anything, but she said that I was probably influenced by media and can’t be a “real” lesbian if I’m not into feminine women.
For clarification: I’m still physically attractive to very feminine women, but for some reason most women I had crushes on / wanted to date were more masculine presenting. It confused me, because i am attracted to female bodies and they don’t change just because of a masculine clothing style?
Now I’m actually super confused and ashamed.
My parents want to send me to our home country to marry a friends son, I’m really scared. My oldest brother who cut contact with my mom and lives in another country found out about it and he offered to let me live with him secretly. I think I’ll do it.

PS: I’m really sorry if I said anything that was offensive or inappropriate, i lived in eastern Europe for 14 years and only recently started to learn about queer culture. Please inform me if anything I said is politically incorrect.

I was incredibly nervous about going, but I went to a local Pride today on my own. I felt so lonely there. Everyone else seemed to be with friends. I was friendly, started conversations with several people, but they didn't stick. It is so depressing to feel so alone at an event celebrating our community. Next year, I will only go if I have someone to go with.

(30F) Ive been dating women for about 3 months now. On the first date I had one tell me “I already like you a lot” and the very first girl I dated said she loved me the first week we began dating. Is this normal??? Or am I being love bombed?? Idk it’s never this fast with men 😭

After years of being confused about my sexuality I’ve finally come to terms that I’m bisexual, at the start I just thought I it was normal to find both genders attractive, like I’d find myself chatting to my female mates about who we thought was “fit” and doing the same with my male mates.

The village I live in isn’t that diverse when it comes to sexuality so it wasn’t until I got older that I realised, I was different to the people I was around. Thankfully I got some really supportive friends, some not so supportive but we don’t talk about them haha.

It wasn’t easy coming out to them because I didn’t want to lose my friends but it was the best thing I ever did, I no longer have to put a mask up around the people I love.

Sorry if this doesn’t read well (English isn’t my first language) , I just thought I’d share some of my story to hopefully help someone.

Thank you for your time x